god I wish that were me
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@miseriaomiseria
god I wish that were me
La corona sirve algunos dĂas para las enredaderas secas,
los recuerdos, como vidrios sucios o gotas ajenas,
arrastran la mugre hacia abajo.
La arena hĂșmeda en la boca, cuando me rinda,
serå el molde para que veas cuånto los apreté.
Un dĂa gris, ventoso, en la playa vacĂa,
un olor a plumas hĂșmedas,
una presión invisible en la muñeca.
La humedad se esparce primero por mis rodillas,
luego por toda mi ropa.
AlgĂșn dĂa darĂĄs con la vuelta,
cuando recuerde los besos, el castigo a todo;
mi cuerpo es un péndulo, mi carne cede.
Me llevan en un vuelo errĂĄtico, bien alto,
solo para soltarme
antes de atravesar las nubes.
Dinosaur Island | 1994
La corona sirve algunos dĂas para las enredaderas secas,
los recuerdos, como vidrios sucios o gotas ajenas,
arrastran la mugre hacia abajo.
La arena hĂșmeda en la boca, cuando me rinda,
serå el molde para que veas cuånto los apreté.
Un dĂa gris, ventoso, en la playa vacĂa,
un olor a plumas hĂșmedas,
una presión invisible en la muñeca.
La humedad se esparce primero por mis rodillas,
luego por toda mi ropa.
AlgĂșn dĂa darĂĄs con la vuelta,
cuando recuerde los besos, el castigo a todo;
mi cuerpo es un péndulo, mi carne cede.
Me llevan en un vuelo errĂĄtico, bien alto,
solo para soltarme
antes de atravesar las nubes.
god is genuinely playin games with me...
' (...) I managed to make every trace of human hope vanish from my mind. I pounced on every joy like a ferocious animal eager to strangle it.
I called for executioners so that, while dying, I could bite the butts of their rifles. I called for plagues to choke me with sand, with blood. Bad luck was my god. I stretched out in the muck. I dried myself in the air of crime. And I played tricks on insanity.
And Spring brought me the frightening laugh of the idiot. (...) '
im so caught in dis hole, i want to rip my skin off when i cant shut me off. everything is irritating, the past crushes me every second. every sound that someone else does fills every bit of me with anger.
i just want to rot and starve in the woods because i proved myself coward enough to anything else. no one wants me, no one checks on me. i deserve everything I lost and this nauseous feeling.
i just want to give up, every thing that makes me somewhat functional runs out, sooner or later.
i can only stream waves of past memories or go on a bike in hopes to get crushd.
this pond, it's me ive rotten it's water, and I just don't want to even try to climb through mold and pain.
now that I want no future, i only hope thinkin of your whisper in my ear will resonate for eternity in what i was.
polvo y mugre tapĂĄndose entre sĂ constantemente, el pilar de mi cerebro colapsando, mientras estoy aguantando de por vida en un altar imaginario.