Too Definite For Words

Repository for Rei’s Musical Endeavors // Main Blog: @komorebirei

[misericoletea]

I stopped practicing again because I got temporarily engrossed in other projects, namely a piece of art and a fic. I felt accomplished when I finished both, but after a short amount of time has passed, I once again hate them, hate myself for producing them and nothing better, and feel dissatisfied and depressed. ^^;

Using this blog as a venting space because it’s the one that not many people follow and I don’t really have anyone to talk to, but I need an outlet. Perhaps I’ll try to practice today.

[misericoletea]

12/25 (happy Christmas~)

Forgot to practice yesterday because I had to do a long drive and by the end of it I was tired, but I practiced études a bit today. Violin is so painful and hard. ;-; I keep playing the easy parts of the études and moving on. Next time, I’ll pick one to master and force myself to learn the hard parts.

Instead of taking shortcuts I should do it the proper way: master the student pieces and études first. I may not be taking lessons now, but I’ve taken enough that I know the right way to study and I know I’m being lazy now. x.x

Not to mention, scales and arpeggios. Boring but necessary!

And as for why… even if I don’t play in an orchestra, it’ll be nice if I’m ready to audition immediately if I ever find one, and everyone has to be good at a hobby so why shouldn’t I be good at mine, even if no one ever hears me play? Time to start developing as a human being for myself just for the pure joy of living, even if it doesn’t feel joyful yet.

[misericoletea]

12/23: Practiced Introduction et Rondo Capriccioso and La Folia today.

That makes three days in a row. Let’s see how long I can keep it up… since Tumblr doesn’t have time stamps, I’m dating these posts so I can feel properly guilty if too much time passes in between. XP

[misericoletea]

Practiced yesterday and today, various songs that I played for orchestra.

Thankfully, it doesn’t really feel like I haven’t played for a while.

[misericoletea]

Listening to my old faves and crying~

Yuna Shinohara’s playing is so beautiful!

[misericoletea]

skipped the past two days, but i practiced a bit today.

these little updates are my self-therapy. :’)

[misericoletea]

checking in

i practiced the violin yesterday and the day before, and printed out some sheet music to play. (lindsey stirling zelda medley, bard's adventure from genshin, and love's sorrow by kreisler.) must practice today.

even though i've lost the motivation to play since i can't see myself being in an orchestra again and no one would want to listen to me solo, it's good to be able to play an instrument and that feels like a crucial part of my identity that i'm not willing to give up. that should be enough of a reason to continue, right?

lowercase because this is how i feel.

[misericoletea]

sorry

Also, I’ve been neglecting this account. -_-;

It’s hard for me to feel motivated to practice when I’m not going to use it for anything. When I was in orchestra, I practiced obsessively because I knew I could use my skills, but now I have no one with whom to play and no prospect of getting to play with people again in the foreseeable future. My mom has a violin, but when I ask her to learn a duet with me, she makes excuses not to. Alas.

I’ve just been in low spirits lately, not really in the mood to play music.

I should practice, though! Posting here as a record of progress helped with motivation when I was doing it. I never said it here, but I now own my violin, which I’m sooo happy about because it sounds and looks beautiful. It would be a waste not to play. I also need a new set of strings for my harp. -_-; I’ve been playing it now and then just to fool around, but it’s missing three strings now, and one is a C which makes things difficult.

[misericoletea]

I don’t have perfect pitch but

Every time I start up Genshin on my PC, a little alert comes up asking me if I want the program to be allowed to modify the hard drive or whatever. There’s an alert tone, and every single time, I automatically sing “Thirty-two thousand troops in New York Harbor....” because apparently my brain thinks the tone sounds like the beginning of the song. I wasn’t sure if I was remembering correctly, though, or if my brain was making random connections.

So today I finally checked if the song really starts that way and if it’s in the same key, and YES, YES IT IS. >:3 The exact notes. (I know I skip the first line though, haha. Oops.)

[misericoletea]

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Won’tcha look at me, practicing yet another day in a row. :P

Played two-octave scales in every key to practice knowing the keys, Kreutzer etude no. 11, and the Veracini Gigue from the Suzuki book.

Decided to make a recording and upload it no matter what, even if it was full of mistakes.

I’m historically a very cautious player, but that can be a bad thing because my natural instinct is to play without dynamics or sounding stiff and restrained while trying to hit all the right notes without accidentally playing adjacent strings. However, something musicians I admire have reminded me is that the most important thing is to make music. Someone will be more moved by a (slightly) messy and out-of-tune performance that’s played with passion than a stiff, boring performance that’s in perfect tune and tempo.

Sooo I just went crazy and tried to put in dynamics and emotion even though my playing was super messy. There are still moments where I start thinking “Oh my god I’m being recorded” and lapse into Careful Mode, but I’m getting better at expressing through my playing.

I also learned, while I was involved in orchestra and playing pieces that seemed too hard for me, when I focused on bowing with expression and dynamics during my practice, the notes seemed to fall into place more easily than when I was primarily focused on hitting the right notes. (Of course, intonation is important. But I’m just reminding myself that bowing style and expression are a foundational element, not decoration that you should add later!)

[misericoletea]

Practiced again: G and A major scales (I know, I need to diversify -_-;), Bach double concerto, Gigue, and Gavotte from Suzuki, and some Irish balladesque improv. :P

I worked on bow control today. Back to using the Kun solo shoulder rest, which seems conducive to better posture. My deltoids are weak. -_- But I’ve been doing push-ups, so maybe I’ll get stronger. Haha.

[mikauzoran]

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Hi guys! Guess what we’re doing right now! That’s right! Not writing! ^.^

I heard this song, Lemon by Yonezu Kenshi, for the first time over the weekend, and it’s stuck in my head, so I’ve recorded myself singing the chorus for you to laugh at. ^.^ I don’t have any delusions about my ability to sing, so don’t worry. I’m not a bad singer, but I’m never going to be a professional.

This was fun, though, so I hope you enjoy it.

Below is a link to the full, original version of the song on YouTube as well as the lyrics in Japanese and English. I did the translation myself, so it’s kind of rough and literal, but you get the gist, and that’s the important thing.

Thanks for listening!

Lemon by Yonezu Kenshi

あの日の悲しみさえ あの日の苦しみさえ そのすべてを愛してた あなたとともに 胸に残り離れない 苦いレモンの匂い 雨が降り止むまでは帰れない 今でもあなたはわたしの光

Even the sadness of those days, even the suffering of those days

All of that was shared with you whom I loved.

The thing remaining in my heart that won’t leave is the bitter scent of lemons.

I can’t go home until the rain stops.

Even now, you are my light.

(The second line is probably more accurately, “I loved all of it with you”. The line I have above would probably need to read そのすべて は 愛してた あなたとともに in order for my translation to be correct.)

[mikauzoran]

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My inept cover of Lover Dearest by Marianas Trench.

I’m not the best singer, but I hope to improve with practice, and these recordings are a kind of way for me to track my progress.

My range is a little limited, so I dropped some of the high parts down a bit. ^.^;

My “accent” has become less pronounced in recent months, but you can still hear it when I sing “you” and “It’s so easy”. XD

Thanks for listening!

Lyrics under the cut.

Afficher davantage

[misericoletea]

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Practiced violin again today (scales, some Suzuki songs, Beethoven Romance, Bach Sonata no. 1, etc.) And here’s a recording of me crappily playing part of the Zelda theme song by ear. The second half is especially bad because I don’t know what fingerings I’m doing so there’s a lot of sliding around. What a clown I am. P.S. Disclaimer to the public: The whole thing is just messy and horrible in general! (1) I played it on a whim without practicing, (2) I’m currently out of practice so my bowing and transitions are rough as a haircut using a hacksaw, and (3) I have no illusions that I’m a good player in general.

[misericoletea]

Practiced for one hour: G major scale and arpeggio, Kreutzer etude no. 8, Vivaldi concerto in G minor op. 12 no. 1, Shostakovich waltz no. 2.

Easy stuff, but I need to get back into the swing of practicing, so it’s a start.

[misericoletea]

I practiced! Ab Major scale accelerations and arpeggios, Kreutzer Étude no. 8 (I know I need to work on others -.-;), and a few of the songs from Suzuki Book Five.

Not going to be picky about counting days, but I’ll keep reporting my practice sessions to hold myself accountable.

[misericoletea]

I practiced the last couple of days! (Yesterday and the day before.) Scales and Kreisler’s Love’s Sorrow and Beethoven’s Romance in F. 

Days three and four, I suppose. I’m forgiving myself for gaps. I just... want to make sure I practice for now, that’s all.