nevermind never mine

really of being cool //

[missed-by-kate]

intro post

- my name is kate, im 20’something (like in middle)

- art management student

- work in a camp with camp rock vibes but not just in the summer

- try painting and singing and songwriting (actually im in a band)

- like basic white girly pop music - olivia rodrigo, maisie peters, taylor swift, gracie abrams, the girls from blackpink, florence road and ets in this vibes

- im in my situationship break up era so i sad in general

- sometimes im’a ficwriter (but not often like I want)

- english is my 3st language

- dramione, naruto, marauders fandoms

[missed-by-kate]

a couple of days after you blocked me, i went to a drawing workshop

we had to come up with a character and depict it using simple geometric shapes (like in the style of cubism/pop-impressionism, you know)

i thought of you then (actually, during those days, it felt like i had no space to think about anything else, so i went to the workshop to stop thinking), and it just came out on its own. i was so angry, and i ended up tearing the drawing up

when yan walked by and gave feedback, he said my character looked like a good guy, but he was stupid and did stupid things on purpose

then he said that there's a piece of us in every character, and now i think maybe i don’t really know anything about you, so the drawing just became my reflection. but i’m not sure

i should've written less about myself and asked more questions.

[itstimetogo]

good morning the universe is shifting and it’s all for you 🪄

[folkloregirlfriend]

who wants to fall in love with me before october 3rd

[tayloralison]

the life of a showgirl - a look behind the curtain

[missed-by-kate]

top 9 canon events in every girl's life

1. cutting your hair into a bob and realizing it was a mistake the same hour

2. the best friend who was secretly in love with you

3. a full-blown boyband obsession (posters, fanfiction, emotional breakdowns included)

4. the deep astrology/crystals/witchcraft phase

5. he'll be different with me. (he wasn't)

6. playing that game as a kid without really understanding it

7. the i-hate-pink era because you were not like other girls

8. the friend who was secretly competing with you the whole time

9. watching twilight for the first time and feeling like your entire idea of romance just changed

[missed-by-kate]

no contact is so weird

in the evening i have control over the situation and i'm doing well, almost not feeling broken. i even feel fine.. but in the morning i don't wanna wake up and realize that i have another day without him

and he's just living his best life and doesn't care

and it kills me

[missed-by-kate]

day 1 / day 2 / reference

one week later i’ll finish this

my first oil painting.. feels so exciting and comfortable

[missed-by-kate]

part 2.

[missed-by-kate]

with a sore throat and a cold and a broken collarbone, but still at the class

[missed-by-kate]

september is the new august

[missed-by-kate]

to devalue something, write a list of other options. his leaving is the most painful thing that has happened to you? write a list of things that could potentially be much more painful

[missed-by-kate]

but i need to stop focusing on the potential and turn towards the list of what you gave me

[missed-by-kate]

[missed-by-kate]

i like games with my mind, like 'well i'll text him when i finish all my paintings' (it's like reaching the moon), but the motivation level feels insane in those moments so

[missed-by-kate]

i need to stop dancing on the same rakes and start looking at myself in the mirror. my ego’s scratched, but one day i’ll work on it. you’ll text me, and i’ll follow my own instructions like it’s part of a strategy, then you’ll go ghost again, and by then my healed heart won’t care.

but today, i’ll ask a tree to say hello to you, then walk in circles of uncontrollable tears, followed by a complete shutdown of all feelings. at least one of us will emotionally grow. sadly, that’s going to be me and just me.