hopeful romantic

emma. 22. i work with the tinies

[eleanorstclair]

Eleanor was just about ready to dive into the nearest volcano with all that’s been happening in these past few weeks. Between feeling like the wind has been knocked out of her with two of her ex boyfriends at the resort and dealing with the wrath of Ivy–she’s just about ready to tear every last hair off of her head. She may have not handled things as well as she could, chosing to ride out anxiety attacks rather than call someone to talk to. But she couldn’t deal with someone poking and proding her brain right now. When she answered to door to find Emma, she felt instantly relieved. “Emma, my lovely dumpling,” she said with a smile, pulling her friend into a tight hug. “Alright, Em?” Eleanor asked, pulling her hair down from the messy knot on top of her head.

[missemmacassidy]

It had been entirely too long since Emma had seen Eleanor. She hadn’t noticed how long it had been until she saw the relief in Ellie’s eyes before she hugged her. Something was wrong, and Emma couldn’t decide whether to ask about it, or to ask for her help. She decided on both, after returning the tight comforting hug. “Yeah, yeah, I’m great,” she said, not entirely lying. “How are you... what’s happened? Is it Ivy again, do I have to beat her up? I could, maybe.”

[levi-reynoldss]

From the past couple of years, the most he knew about relationships and love was that some things don’t have to be set in stone from start to finish. He took life as it came, and planning for the future was rarely something he thought about unless it was related to his career. Sure, he knew well enough that even with the best wishes, things could backfire, but he knew he was ready for someone like Emma to come along in his life. And when she kissed him, he felt as if maybe…just maybe he didn’t screw everything. He kissed her back softly, placing a hand on her cheek. “It’s like she’s been our personal cheerleader from the start,” he laughed softly, pulling back slightly from the kiss. He studied her eyes, brushing his thumb against her skin. She looked happy, less concerned as she seemed to be moments before. “Now you can finally give me that ballet lesson, tutu and all,” he teased. He kissed her again lightly and turned his head towards the table. “I swear the pie’s good,” he joked, “It just wasn’t as much…pie mood as I initially thought.” 

[missemmacassidy]

At this point, Emma felt like the inch between her face and Levi’s was way too much space, and she didn’t want to move ever again. She stayed there, smiling at her boyfriend, and taking turns between kissing and being kissed. “Ooh, you’ll look real good in a tutu,” she giggled, “you’ve got to make me into a five star chef in return, that’s the deal.” She kissed him again just because he was hers now, and she could, but then he mentioned the pie and she gasped, laughing. “Oh goodness, the pie. Can it be celebratory pie now?” she asked, finally moving away from his cute face and bringing her plate of pie toward her. “We need to cheers with it,” she said, getting some on her fork and lifting it up. “To my super cute boyfriend.”

[missemmacassidy]

eleanorstclair

Despite being small and fragile and innocent, Emma was usually very good at being brave. No matter what happened, she could always truthfully tell herself she’d been through worse, and that always helped a little. But even through all that, there were times she just had to admit to herself that she couldn’t do something alone. This was one of those times. She needed a new Cardiologist, and wanted to bring Levi with her to find a new one, but he didn’t know about her heart, and she didn’t want to tell him just yet. So she found herself knocking on Eleanor’s door, an hour before her consultation, wringing her hands and shifting her feet and hoping her friend wasn’t too busy.

[tbfhdani]

“No, no, it’s all good,” Dani said, forcing a small smile. “Me? Nah, I’m all good. Just uh.. yeah, it’s fine, it’s not even that important.” 

[missemmacassidy]

“Okay... if you’re sure,” Emma said, not convinced at all. “I know we don’t know each other all that well, but you can talk to me if you need to, okay? Not saying you need to, but... just throwing that out there.”

[levi-reynoldss]

The first girlfriend he ever had was back in sophomore year of high school, and they dated for around two years until she dumped him for some other guy. Ever since then, Levi couldn’t remember the last serious relationship he had with a girl. With his commitment issues and his love for traveling, it had never seemed important to put down roots in one place and maintain relationships. He’d fall for them, and perhaps they’d feel the same way in return. But in the end, he never let them in. He only told them the bare minimum about his family issues, rarely mentioning Claire at all. 

So when Levi asked Emma to be his girlfriend, he surprised himself. They had spent over a month now spending time together and going on dates, and so far, she didn’t even give him any reason to define their relationship. But looking at her now, he didn’t want to wait another month for them to realize they were meant to have a relationship all along. He stared into her eyes. He could see her worry and her hesitation. This could be the moment where Levi could take it back and pretend it was just him caught up in the moment, but he didn’t want to. He wanted Emma to be his. “Emma, I like you. It takes a while for me to trust people, but I…trust you. I want to be with you,” he repeated in a hush. He gave her a small reassuring smile now and nodded. “I’d ask you in the morning, the afternoon, any time of day. What are  you thinking though?” 

[missemmacassidy]

So far, love hadn’t been kind to Emma. She always had unrealistic hope that things would turn out like they did in novels; that trust and compassion and compromise could help get a couple through anything. And despite being wrong about that so many times, she still had hope for it. There was still a little voice in the back of her head whispering ‘maybe this time’. Part of that was just her personality, and her determination to see the good in the things, but the bigger part was Levi. 

There was something about him she couldn’t describe or explain. Something he had that she’d never been able to find in anyone else. It was like a string tugging at her heart, pulling her up from whatever darkness held her and bringing her toward him. Her susceptibility to infection meant everything was a threat to Emma, but with Levi, she felt undeniably safe. “I trust you, too,” she whispered, smiling softly. “I’m thinking Eleanor’s going to flip when she finds out you’re my boyfriend.” She giggled and blushed and kissed him to shut herself up.

[levi-reynoldss]

After he told her, Levi hadn’t realized how relieved he’d feel. All his life ever since it happened, he did his best to keep it to himself and pretend everything was okay. But he couldn’t escape his past, no matter how far he left home. Now, all the way in Hawaii, he still remembered everything perfectly. Every second of that day, every news report, headline, missing flier – he remembered the memories he had with his sister before she left his world but not completely. Somedays, he liked to think about what he’d do if Claire returned, what he’d say to her. All those years they could have had together…someone took them away, and Levi had no control over that. He only kept moving forward. 

Telling Emma had pulled him back into the past again, and he felt a rush of emotions. Mostly everyone who knew about Claire went on with their lives as if she had been long buried. Even his mother who had tried so hard to keep holding onto hope about her daughter believed his sister couldn’t be alive and breathing today. Levi didn’t know what to believe. He did his best to forget as Emma pulled him into her arms. At least he had her. He still had someone he could hold onto and make him feel safe. Levi had traveled so much for a lifetime, but maybe this time he needed…something stable. He liked it here, and he liked Emma. “Thank you,” he said quietly, wrapping his own arms around her. She was warm, and he thought she smelled a little bit like the ocean. “Emma,” he continued, “will you…I was wondering if you wanted to be my girlfriend?” 

[missemmacassidy]

Hearing Levi’s secret made Emma forget her own for a moment, but it didn’t last long. She knew she would eventually have to tell him. He obviously trusted her a lot, and she knew she trusted him just as much, but she also knew how much her secret would change everything. His secret was about his sadness. His family. Hers was about her life, and her future, and the fragility of both. If he knew, he’d just worry about things he couldn’t change. She was being selfish with her secret, not wanting him to look at her differently, but she was also doing it for him. He’d already lost his sister... if he knew Emma was sick, he’d be scared of losing her every day, and she couldn’t put him through that.

Her arms were still wrapped around him as he asked her to be his girlfriend. Eyes wide, she pulled back slightly, her face just inches from his. “...What?” she asked, even though she’d heard him correctly. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t hoped one day he’d ask her this, but she was nervous now. About her secret, and his, and her sudden realization of their age difference, but one more thing was bothering her most. “God, I want to say yes...” she whispered, “but... I don’t want you to just be asking me this because you’re sad and I’m here. Will you ask me again in the morning?”

[fcvkelijah-blog]

“Emma! I knew that.” he laughed a little. “Elijah, but oh no… the smallest do the most damage haven’t you heard?” he teased her.

[missemmacassidy]

“It’s cool, I also answer to ‘the tiny redhead’, if that’s easier,” she laughed. “Oh honey, I work in a daycare, of course I’ve heard that.”

[tbfhdani]

“No, I know.. I’m just as terrified as you are. I asked for some days off and explained everything. I know he’s out there, I just– Shit, I gotta call you back, okay?” Dani quickly hung up as soon as she noticed someone else in the room, trying to cover up the fact that she was scared as hell. “Sorry, I didn’t realize anyone would be here.”

[missemmacassidy]

“Oh, um... I’m sorry if I’ve intruded on something, I promise I didn’t hear much,” Emma said softly. “I just... are you alright? Are you in trouble?”

[fcvkelijah-blog]

“Alright then, that makes everything so much easier, thanks again…?” he questioned her trying to figure out her name. “Just don’t kill me when you do.” he joked with her and nodded with a friendly smile.

[missemmacassidy]

“Emma,” she smiled. “You’re welcome, um...” she trailed off, blushing as she realized she didn’t know his name either. “Oh I couldn’t, I’m too small, I’d just hire a hit-man,” she laughed.

[juniwinslow]

Mh, true. Although there are days I would pick cake over a room. 

[missemmacassidy]

Ooh, me too. Especially in this weather. You could sleep outside very comfortably most nights.

[levi-reynoldss]

Levi felt his bottom lip tremble the slightest, making him feel like he were a child again. He never told anyone much of the story, not even Alex. Alex and him were rarely serious with each other, which had always been a form of escape. It was this familiar vulnerable feeling that reminded him why he kept quiet about Claire, pretended he didn’t have a sister at all. When it had first happened, his parents had been meaning to send him to a therapist. But eventually, they forgot all about it, about Levi, and he faded into the background behind police reports and the five eyewitness news. 

By then, even if they wanted to take him to therapy, he wouldn’t have let them. He’d pretend not to care – it worked for some time…except when it didn’t. Levi turned his head towards Emma who was now seated next to him. “I-I was seventeen when it happened. It’s been…over ten years since she went missing. We don’t know what happened to her,” he replied softly, worried if he spoke any louder he might start to cry. He didn’t want to cry in front of her, didn’t want to make himself feel even more vulnerable than he already felt. 

[missemmacassidy]

Instinctively, Emma reached out her hand and gently grazed her thumb across Levi’s cheek. She realized how strong and mature and brave he’d seemed to her, and was surprised to find that all of that only intensified now that she’d seen his vulnerability. His strength wasn’t diminished by his weakness, it was caused by it, and she respected him even more. And she was more honored than she could say that he’d chosen to trust her with this. Not only this secret, but this expression of his feelings about it. This kind of thing wasn’t easy for anyone. 

She took her hand down and put it on top of his again. She listened, and slowly did the math in her head. Ten years ago. Ten years ago she’d been twelve. This young girl in the picture was roughly Emma’s age, if not older. Which made Levi... 28? 29? This revelation threw Emma off for a moment, as the numbers swirled around in her head. But this wasn’t about her, or the age difference between her and this man she was falling for. It was about his heartbreak over missing his sister for over ten years and not knowing what happened. She couldn’t even imagine. “Levi...” was all she could say, keeping her voice as soft as his. She reached out and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, holding him close, wishing she knew what to say to make him feel better.

[fcvkelijah-blog]

“Trinity’s six and Benjamin is four, but when should I drop them off and pick them up? I might be a little short the first week, but I can make it up next week I promise. I’m sorry this was such short notice. I really wasn’t expecting this.”

[missemmacassidy]

“Well that’s up to you, whatever time is best for you, I can work around it. Don’t worry about it.... you work here, so I know where to find you if you never ever pay me,” she smirked. “Unexpected things happen, I get it. The kids and I will have tons of fun, don’t worry about a thing.”

[juniwinslow]

Guests get free cake samples? What don’t they get for free?

[missemmacassidy]

Room and board, I guess, so we’ve one-upped them on that, at least. 

[levi-reynoldss]

Growing up with parents who spent more time working than watching him had been hard on him as a kid. But he still loved them. He remembered how he used to hang out at his mother’s cupcake shop doing homework at his favorite table. And years after Claire was born, the both of them would sit across from each other, when she was still barely tall enough to reach the tabletop. His mother had to sit her on top of a two mammoth phone directories. Even the happy memories made him sad. Levi looked up at Emma, sitting across from him. He wanted to believe, to trust her, to not be someone to fix his life but just listen. He nodded before continuing. “Her name’s Claire. She’s…she’s my sister, Emma. She must have been ten years old in that picture. About a year before it happened…before she went missing,” 

[missemmacassidy]

She was right about the eyes. They were definitely related. And for a moment she was glad of that, and glad at least that she wasn’t his secret daughter, but within a split second, she no longer wanted to be right. Missing. The word didn’t make sense, Emma couldn’t understand, people don’t just disappear. Until they do. You hear about these things on the news, and you wonder what happened to the kid, and whether they’ll be okay, and you worry for them, but you don’t often think that maybe they have an older brother at home who’s worrying a million times more, and still gets a devastating heartbroken look in his eyes years afterward that might never go away. Wordlessly, Emma stood up and sat in the seat next to him, facing him, taking both of his hands, as though to make extra sure that he knew she was there. “Your sister...” she whispered, her heart completely shattering for him. “How long has she been gone?”

[fcvkelijah-blog]

“Thank goodness! I was afraid I’d get fired if I didn’t find someone. Trinity will love those Disney movies and as for Benjamin, he’ll make a mess with the paints. Are you a daycare worker?”

[missemmacassidy]

“Trinity and Benjamin... those are adorable names, I love them already! Yeah, I work in the daycare. Keeps me young. How old are the kids?”

[levi-reynoldss]

Levi smiled softly. “I’m sure the king and all his men would love to add me to their crew,” he joked back. He thought about how angry Angie had gotten at me, how selfish he had become all these years. As his parents grew apart from each other, he grew apart from both of them, doing his best to hide his sadness about Claire. He was starting to wonder if it was too late to fix it all. The guilt Levi felt was almost worse than keeping the secret itself. For a moment, he thought she’d start laughing at him when she smiled, but instead she was just happy for him to find family, Clearly, Emma had a much better time with hers. “I wish…I wish it were that way. If things had been different, I would have been thrilled to see her, to hear about her brother,” he continued, now seated at the table. “It’s about that picture, Emma. The girl you saw,” he added softly. He didn’t think he would tell her so soon, but after everything he had been through, he needed someone there for him.

[missemmacassidy]

“I know I would,” she said gently. While she wasn’t exactly sure why she had to be gentle, she felt the need to be tonight. Like anything harsher than a whisper would blow Levi out the window. As he spoke, she cut them pieces of pie, and served them, sitting across from him at the table. He mentioned the girl in the picture, and Emma’s stomach flipped. Her brain was searching for answers, for who this girl was, and why she had his eyes, and why he got so heartbroken talking about her. But she was able to shut her brain off for a moment, and focus on her heart. She took his hand, not touching her pie. “It’s alright, Levi. You can tell me...”

[eleanorstclair]

Eleanor St. Clair → Moodboard (3/?) Eleanor & Emma [ft. missemmacassidy​]

“Yes, I know I look like a baby.“ "Shh, you look like a sophisticated and adorable young woman.”