reblog if its okay to send you cute anons/messages
todays bird

JVL

roma★

Discoholic 🪩
we're not kids anymore.
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

JBB: An Artblog!

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Kaledo Art
Sade Olutola
RMH

Kiana Khansmith

Origami Around

if i look back, i am lost
YOU ARE THE REASON
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Keni
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Not today Justin
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@misshugot
reblog if its okay to send you cute anons/messages
Kanina sumimba kami ng nanay ko. Habang nakaupo kami, bigla kong na-realize mahirap yung marami kang problema, pero mas problema pala yung hindi mo mabigyan ng pangalan yung nararamdaman mo. Like, sobrang halu-halo na kaya kahit ikaw na may katawan eh hindi mo na alam kung galit ka ba o malungkot or what.
Four weeks na agad ang natapos sa school year 2022-2023! Less than a hundred days before Christmas. 8 months before my 30th birthday. Andami kong gustong mangyari sa buhay, tapos dumadagdag pa tong mga daily hanash sa school. Nandun yung daily parinigan, mga co-teachers na either wapakels or sobra namang makialam, yung mga students na bawal masaktan ang feelings dahil for sure Tulfo ka, school head na demanding, atbp.
Punung-puno na ako!
Naitawid ko naman yung naunang four weeks kasi ganun yata talaga pag teacher ka. Kahit pasukan na ng Monday at binigyan ka lang ng teaching load last Friday, naka-program na yung second parent persona mo pati yung mga lesson plans na nasa isip mo haha. No worries ako sa part na yun kasi hindi naman na ako bagitong teacher.
Nakakainis lang yung lagi na lang nagsisilipan sa mga workload, at parang bawal kang magpahinga dahil dapat pare-parehas kayong haggard. Crab mentality much mga siz. Eh ang buhay ko ay 9AM pa nag-uumpisa dahil 9-4 ang pasok ko. Kung haggard na yung mga pang 7-2 kapag dumating ako eh kasalanan ko ba yun?
Nakakapagod palang pigilan yung feelings at maging mahinahon kapag ikaw ay taong prangka. Like, “tara dumiretso na lang tayo sa office ni madam principal kesa marinig ko ang mga hanash nyo” ang peg ko, pero hindi pwede kasi pinipili kong tumahimik na lang. Di ako sanay huhu. Para tuloy akong galit na frustrated na aping-api every time these past couple of weeks.
Sana lang may psychosocial support din ang teacher na pwede ka talagang maglabas ng mga saloobin mo at bibigyan ka ng professional advice. Hindi yung co-teacher mo lang din ang makikinig sayo tapos gagatungan lang yung feelings mo haha.
Anyways yun lang. Gonna go back to posting something inspirational once I’m okay. Salamat na lang sa Tumblr at nailalabas ko pa rin tong mga hanash ko (I dunno kung may nagbabasa pa ba), kasi I’m so confused and bombarded with so many different thoughts. Message nyo nga ako, baka sakaling matauhan ako.
Malayo ang bahay namin sa school (4x akong sumasakay tuwing umaga, 4x din sa hapon) at hindi ako pwedeng magbuhat ng mabigat, tapos ngayon, maulan pa lagi. So isip ang tita nyo ng magandang paraan para hindi magdala ng laptop araw-araw (takot din akong malaspag syempre ang aking HDMI port).
So bumili ako ng 4 flash drives noong nag-flash deal last week. Apat na sections (2 Science 9, 2 Science 10) kasi ang hawak ko, at ang hirap namang magturo kapag walang photos man lang. Kahit pa anong ganda ng delivery ko sa unahan, kung sasabihin ko lang sa mga batuta na “Imagine nyo yung DNA, yung mukhang hagdan na paikot tapos may bato-bato sa gilid” jusme baka sampalin ako ng mga nanay diba. Ayokong magdala ng laptop at hindi pwedeng magturo ng puchu-puchu lang, so kailangan ng halfway solution. Ayun na nga kaya may pagbili ng flash drives.
Ang taas ng TV sa kada classroom, so sa halip na isaksak ko yung flash drive everyday at hugutin pagkatapos ng klase, naisip ko na i-prepare na yung lessons in advance. Para kako pwedeng monthly na lang hugutin. So eto holiday nga ngayon (salamat sa mga bayani ng lahi huhu isinalba nyo na naman ang buhay ko), kaya pandalas gumawa ang tita nyo since Friday night para makapondo ng lessons.
Attitude naman netong Queen Mother ko sa bahay! Akala yata waley akong ginagawa kasi maghapong babad sa laptop at may pag-soundtrip. Eh andaming nilabhan, feeling siguro unfair kasi manual labor yung ginagawa nya. Panay utos, nakakaloka! Sa aming dalawa mas mukha nga naman akong petiks. Kaso ganoon naman talaga ang teacher diba, sangkatutak na clerical works tapos susubukin ang haba ng pasensya mo Monday-Friday, then kelangan mag-pretend na fresh ka pa rin kahit haggard na para sa kagalang-galang na image.
Nako naman ang National Heroes Day, lahat yata may ganap sa labas tapos ako eto nagpopondo ng lessons! Anyway we are all heroes in our own ways. Dami mang arte sa buhay pero lumalaban pa rin everyday! Oops wag mo nang ipaglaban kung hindi ka naman mahal siz, yun lang!
P.S. Hahanap pa tayo ng donor ng Epson 003 black ink para sa mga batutang may modular classes, kasi waley na akong pang-print. :((
Reblog and see if you get a color.
PURPLE: We near never speak, but I do enjoy your presence on my dashboard.
FUCHSIA: I wish I could become your best friend through the internet.
GREY: You leave me with jumbled words.
RED: I’m in love with you.
PINK: I have a crush on you.
TURQUOISE: You’re hot.
CHARTREUSE: I sincerely wish you would notice me.
TEAL: We have quite a lot in common.
BLUE: You are my Tumblr crush.
ORANGE: I dislike your page.
YELLOW: PLEASE FUCK ME.
WHITE: PLEASE MARRY ME.
GREEN: I find you cute.
BLACK: I would date you.
BROWN: I dislike you.
We're used to having more (than what we need) and it is good most of the time. However, when someone opens up about about a problem, think twice before saying that "I have more."
Having more is not always the best for us, no? Let us not make the habit of comparing ourselves to others. Call me a loser, but having more problems is the kind of competition I'll willingly lose in any other day.
Count your blessings instead! ✨️
Kanina nakita ako ng mga nag-inspect sa school kasi umupo ako sa enrollment...
Sabi nung isa, "Parang maedad na ang mga estudyante ngayon."
Duh, hindi naman talaga ako estudyante.
Matanda na talaga ako; kung sinabing bagets ako mas nakakagulat yun.
Koya, sorry hindi bumenta yung joke mo.
Triggered ang tita nyo, aba'y magpapasukan na ba naman eh sa halip na mag-inspect ay nagpapa-cute pa. Nagbabagsakan na ang kisame!
At the end of the day, syempre good vibes pa rin. Andaming nag-enroll today tapos ni walang concrete plans ang school about schedule, teaching load, learning modalities, etc. Goodluck naman sa August 22! At goodluck din dito sa account na ito, baka kakabalik ko lang tapos hiatus na ulit.
When the night has come ✨
There are problems we do not share, not because we like to pretend that everything is okay, but because we know that there is no one we can rely on but ourselves. Treat others kindly and treat ourselves even better. We deserve the self-love.
Just when you are on the verge of giving up, something good may happen. Sometimes, good things happen unplanned. And there are blessed times that we get something when we are not expecting it. So do not give up looking at the brighter side of stories. Do not expect, just hope.
misshugot (via misshugot)
Let's go for those special few who'd rather shock you with frankness than hurt you with sugarcoated words.
It was never easy, but it was worth it (my promotion & self-healing journey)
Earlier today, I signed my appointment for promotion from Teacher I to Teacher II. In case you are wondering what’s noteworthy (some may say that it’s just a step up from my former position) about it, let me share you my journey for this promotion.
January 2021, our new officer-in-charge (acting school principal) encouraged us to join the open ranking for reclassification and promotion. Yes, the two processes are different (click here for more information), and most of the time, promotion is easier. In my case, promotion was not available that time, so I was designated for reclassification.
A year passed with no news of the reclassification, aside July 2021 when I was asked to submit original copies of my credentials to the district office. I thought then that signing the appointment for Teacher II is already at the corner, but time proved me wrong.
2021 is a fairly relaxed year for me. I am adept at paperwork, so the demands of modular distance learning is just fine for me. I was able to prepare learning materials ahead of time, while juggling other school-related tasks and taking my master’s degree. The expenses are also low; we do not have to report to school everyday, so I was able to save my allowances.
2022 started quite good too. It was until March when we started to report five times a week at school due to the limited face-to-face classes. I taught four times a week and still have to monitor the students under modular distance learning. I was also a coordinator in various school programs and organization. Coincidentally, it was my second semester in graduate school and one of my subject is methods of educational research, one of the most time- and thought-consuming subjects I had! I had a lot on my plate, not to mention the demands from my friends, the pressure from my elderly mom (this story is for another time), and the conflicts between my colleagues which indirectly affected me.
I was in constant conflict between trying to stay positive and breaking down. The expenses are almost what my pockets can handle, and I was constantly tired physically and mentally. Some colleagues would offer suggestions, others were simply meddling, while others wouldn’t help but were practicing one-upmanship on who has the most number of problems.
I was constantly overthinking. There were a lot of questions inside my mind.
“Why is it taking so long to be promoted?”
“What are the possible sources of extra income?”
“When can I get the insurance I want?”
“Why is it so hard to please my mother?”
“Why do they have it but I don’t?”
“When can I simply fall in love and get married?”
I was always irritated and oversensitive. I was like a thorny plant. Some would only pull some jokes and I was ready to blow the roof. My mother would say something about buying something expensive and I was ready to doubt my self-worth. My best friend would ask how I am (because I am not talking to her anymore) but instead of feeling good, I felt as if no one really understand me.
The pressure and self-expectation are weighing me down, I know. But I can’t do anything about it. I do not know how to stop myself from drowning.
I owe my realizations to prayers. I always pray to God for guidance towards the right path. I didn’t realize it during my time of struggles, because I was tired of waiting. My patience ran out countless times. There came a point that I thought I wouldn’t feel excited to receive my promotion, because I was not hoping for it anymore.
The journey towards healing was never easy. There was no one I can ask or consult, and I have to perform my daily tasks and various duties while comforting myself in silence.
One day, I paused. Don’t get me wrong; I still come to work and do all of my usual tasks at home. I still talked to my colleagues and friends. But I tried hard not to overthink, and not to fill my head of things out of control. I went back to one of my most favorite mantras: acceptance.
I have a lot of expenses. The transportation eats most of my budget, but I have to come to school everyday, so I practiced cost-cutting on other not-so-important expenses. I used e-vouchers and coupons. I avoided special trips going home and opt to wait for other passengers. I started going to the grocery which offers better prices. I accepted the fact that the prices of commodities and transportation is out of my control.
I go to church regularly and actually started listening to the homily. I reflected on the priest’s reflections for the gospel, and I found out that it’s almost as if God’s message for me is relayed through those reflections. They comforted my soul and gave me renewed strength to keep on going. I (slowly) realized that God’s plans are the best, and are way better than my plans. God made me wait for a purpose; He tested my patience for a reason. The long wait is intended to strengthen my faith.
One of the best things I learned in my very long waiting season is that, always choose to be good and to do good. Be happy for others, help those in need, do good deeds.
Two days ago, I helped a few colleagues by supporting them during the research colloquium. Yesterday, I advised another colleague on how to obtain good teaching resources. Yesterday afternoon, our administrative officer told me that I can come to the division office today to sign my appointment.
What I did are simple things, but they are genuine and full of good vibes. The good karma I received is tenfold of what I extended to others.
While I was signing my appointment, it feels surreal. I never thought that I would be so happy to receive my promotion because I thought I’ve already forgotten it. I didn’t; I simply put my plans in God’s hand and waited for His timing. I can’t explain the joy I felt when I read the documents and took photos outside the division office. It was finally here! The long wait is over! My patience bore fruit!
I still have a lot to learn, but that’s life, right?
You found a book in the store, picked it up and studied the teaser. Romance. You thought it was kind of absurd, and you have read those kind of books before, to the point that the plots became cliche to your mind. You placed it back on the shelf and looked for other books, but that particular one seemed to be haunting you. You went back to where you put it earlier, and said to yourself, what the hell? You will buy the book regardless of the thought that it might be one of those cliches again. Maybe after this one, you will finally learn your lesson and stop reading that concerns one particular thing: love.
You went home, rested for a while then started the dinner. You are oblivious to the poignancy brought by the darkness, by the fact that you have no one to turn to, by the fact that you are on your own. It hurts, but you learned to ignore the loneliness, because thinking about it hurts more. You ate your supper alone, washed the dishes, turned on the television to watch the news. The news about crimes and show business both appalled and bored you, so you went channel-surfing for a while. Nothing suited your tastes. You decided it would be better to go upstairs and go rest your tired eyes. Better to lose yourself in the darkness of sleep, for dreams might be vivid, but it surely will not hurt you and you’ll forget it in the morning.
You twisted and turned in the bed. You muttered something that sounded like a curse, for you cannot sleep, and you have nothing else to do. You do not want to be awake and idle, because it only mean that you will have time to think about things, and you do not want to think. You do not want to go back to those haunting memories. You do not want another reminder of how alone you are, how pathetic the life you are living was.
Then you remembered the book you bought. You took it out of your bag, tore the plastic wrap then started on it. A minute passed by. An hour passed by. It was already midnight, and soon it would be dawn, but you didn’t care; you are hooked. It’s been so long since you were able to lose yourself in a book. You only stopped for bathroom breaks. Well, not really stopping, since you even brought the book in the comfort room with you. You lose yourself in another world, the kind of world you want to live at.
Unfortunately, the dream ended and the door to that fantastic world closed on your face. You were contented with the story, but it left you with questions. Soon you regretted picking up that book, because it made you think more. It made you envious of happy ending and true love. It made you wish that it will happen to you too. It made you hope that maybe, there’s something great out there for you.
All those prose and poetry warned you that love can be painful, but it didn’t prepare you for the real blow. You learned it the hard way, not by reading, not by imagination. But those prose and poetry are the ones that speak of the joys of love, too. Even a bit, it helps to fix your shattered dreams. It helps you pick up the pieces and hope for the better. For as long as you can speak of love, you can also have it.
Leaving this here.
It's been a tough week. Simula pa noong nakaraang Sabado, down na down talaga ako. Last Saturday I went to the graduate school; magpapapirma dapat ako ng nomination for adviosry committee saka application for comprehensive exam. Pero bago yun, nagpunta na ako noong Thursday (Feb. 08), undertime ako sa school. Dapat kasi, bago mag-apply para sa compre ay may advisory committee na para sa thesis. Thesis topic nga wala pa kami, advisory committee pa kaya?
So noon ngang Sabado, nagpunta kami ng mga kaklase ko. Hirap na hirap kaming maghanap ng topic (syempre kailangan ay medyo mahirap naman; baka laitin kami at sabihin ay pang-undergrad ang thesis namin), pati ng adviser na may specialization sa topic namin. Tapos noong nakapili na ako ng panel members, hindi naman dumating yung isang pipirma, tapos yung isa ay nakauwi na. Halos magmakaawa na kami para lang i-extend pa ng isang linggo yung deadline. Pinagbigyan naman, pero nandun pa rin yung fact na umuwi kaming luhaan.
On the way home, magwi-withdraw dapat ako ng pera pambayad sa compre. My card was freaking captured! Biglang nagshut down ang machine, leaving me with no choice but to kick the wall beside the machine while cussing like a sailor. Inis na inis ako. Sa monday pa raw ng hapon makukuha yung card, at sa Tagaytay ko pa pupuntahan. Sa isip-isip ko, pang-abala talaga. Tapos, pag lumabas ako ng school ay may bawas-sweldo na naman, which I really can't afford at the moment. Mahal ang thesis, kailangang ma-save ko yung kaya kong i-save.
Sunday came. Sumimba kami ng nanay ko. Fiesta ng Our Lady of Lourdes, tapos yung pari ay naghomily tungkol sa physical at spiritual healing. Noong patapos na yung misa, sabi niya magsitayo raw kami at ipapanalangin niya kami. Feeling ko talaga, para sa akin yung prayers ni Padre. Iyak ako ng iyak. Parang pagod na pagod na ako pero di ko magawang sumuko. Sobra talaga ang nailuha ko.
Then monday na ulit. Nandun pa rin yung pakiramdam na pagod na pagod ako. Natulog talaga ako noong recess at lunch; di ko namamalayan na may naghahanap palang parents sa akin. Lahat ng pending cases ko, di ko rin maasikaso. Wala.
Tuesday, ayun nag-umpisa na naman ang kaguluhan. Eto yung magpaparinig na naman yung mga pasaway kong estudyante, thinking na kaya nabuking ang kalokohan nila ay dahil ako na naman ang nagsabi. Tapos puro kaso na ulit. Hanggang Thursday ganoon sila.
Wednesday, tumatawag at nagtetext na kami head ng department dun sa grad school, nagtatanong kami kung pwedeng magpasa ng Saturday. Wala na namang reply, as usual. So di namin malaman kung may mapapala ba kami this Saturday o wala. Syempre, sana ay meron. Pero kung wala, siguro dapat ko nang tanggapin na hindi pa panahon. Baka sa August talaga ako dapat kumuha ng compre at may iba pang plano si God para sa akin.
There's no room for depression inside me. Maraming umaasa sa akin. Marami pa akong goals para sa sarili ko. Marami pa akong tuturuan na makibaka sa buhay. Kung susuko ako ngayon, malamang ay susuko rin ako kapag may mas mahirap na dumating sa akin. I want to take this challenge positively. Isang linggo lang akong nahirapan; hindi dahilan iyon para ipagpalit ko yung dalawang taon na nagsikap ako.
Para sa lahat ng nahihirapan...madalas, mararamdaman mo na walang nakakaunawa sa'yo, na walang nakakaintindi sa pinagdadaanan mo. Meron, at yon ay ang sarili mo. Magkakaiba tayong lahat ng pinagdadaanan; merong magtatanong tungkol sa mga desisyon mo, merong di matatanggap ang ginagawa mo... Pero hindi dahilan yon para sukuan mo ang sarili mo.
Friend: Magre-review pa ako for compre [comprehensive examination]. 5 major subjects tapos 1 month each.
Me: 'Wag ka nang magreview. Kdrama is better. Oppa is life.
Friend: Alam mo, BI ka.
Me: Dadami ba ako pera mo sa grad school? No. Pero sa Kdrama, dumadami ang oppa.
Me: Hey, Grade 8, ang dumi ng room ninyo. Dapat lagi kayong maglinis. Hindi ba ninyo naisip, kapag laging marumi ang paligid ninyo ay mas malaki ang chance na magkasakit kayo?
Jhonlie: Opo nga Ma'am, 'yong mga girls po kasi rito...
Me: Ahh, so kasalanan ng mga girls? What happened to gender equality? Ang umiiral dito sa room ninyo ay gender discrimination! It's the girls who are always blamed. It's always the girls who are at fault, when in reality, you are the ones who did wrong. You think you are right, when in fact, you are the ones who are selfish, hurtful, insensitive, paasa, manloloko, salawahan, di marunong makuntento...
Girls: Hooo! Tama 'yan Ma'am!
Girls: Go Ma'am! Support po namin kayo!
Boys: (to each other) Patay tayo, ayan na naman si Ma'am!