Hello there! I'm Louise and welcome to the tales and escapades of my life. Join me. Runaway with me.
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Sya daw ang tunay na Presidente, anyare sa Pinas?
Credit: Jon Christoffer
Nakita ko ito sa newsfeed ko. Simula pa lang, alam kong may mali na. Pagkatapos, agad akong nagbasa ng comments. Imbis na maawa ako dun sa babae, mas naawa ako mga nagcocomment na nanlalait o pinagtatawanan sya. Kahit sa mga taong nag share nito na kung ano ano ang sinabi.
Naka shabu?
Nalipasan ng gutom?
Baliw?
Nabayaran ng pulitiko?
Papansin?
Gusto sumikat?
At ang pinaka tangang comment na nabasa ko...
Di daw nakabili ng ticket ng Aldub.
Pero kung iisipin nyo, may nakakubling mensahe sa words & actions nya. Masyado lang kase agad syang hinusgahan. Iba man ang pamamaraan nya ng pagpapahayag ng saloobin nya (oo, medyo weird), at sa unang tingin parang non-sense, may gusto sya sabihin eh.
Panoorin mo. Antayin mo yung part na nagsabi na mamaya pa daw ata si Duterte. Anong sagot nya? "Tanga." Sa reaction nyang yun, malalaman mong hindi sya baliw. Nasa huwisyo sya. Parang sinasabi nyang "tanga", hindi yun ang point nya.
Tsaka yung part na hinuhuli sya... Anong sabi nya? "Ibalita nyo toh sa TV." Iba ang dating sakin ng sinabi nyang yun. Umilit pa sya na "ilabas nyo toh sa media."
Baliw ba agad pag sinabi nyang sya ang presidente? Paano kung may mas malalim syang gusto iparating? Na bilang mamamayan, sya ang presidente. Na ang bawat sa atin ay presidente? Nilabas nya ang rosaryo. Nilabas nya ang litrato ni Jose Rizal. Nung naisip nung mga nagcomment na nagpapapansin lang sya kasi baliw sya... naisip rin kaya nila kung ano ang meaning ng mga yun?
Ewan ko kung ako lang talaga itong nag ooverthink pero naniniwala akong may gusto syang sabihin - baliw man sya o hindi, nakadroga man o di nakabili ng ticket - alam kong may mensahe sya.
Subukan mo magbasa ng comments, though may ilan na naawa rin, meron parin mga taong (mukhang mas marami pa) ang pinagtawanan lang sya. At siguro, isa yan sa reflection na makukuha mo. We consider our government & its official as monsters without realizing that we became a monster as well; a monster towards our fellowmen.
Naaalala ko, ito yung bear na ibinigay sa akin ng isa sa mga matalik kong kaibigang lalaki. May flower shop kasi sila sa bayan noon. Valentines day nung binigay nya sakin toh. Napilitan lang. Nakita ko kase ang dami nagpapagawa sa kanila. Nagparinig akong “Kainggit. Walang nagbibigay saken pag Valentines eh.” Tapos sabi nya "Oh are, iyo na." Nagulat ako, akala ko joke lang rin kase nagjojoke lang naman ako. Sabi nya, "Di nga, iyo na. Kakaawa ka naman eh, wala kamo nagbibigay... edi ngayon meron na." Tatanggihan ko pa ba? Minsan na nga lang makatanggap. Hehe.
Siguro ganun talaga yung ibang tao - lalo ang mga babaeng hindi sanay binibigyan ng mga regalo. Pinahahalagahan nila ang bawat bigay sa kanila dahil sa mga bagay na yun, nabubuhay yung ilang alaalang masarap balik-balikan; yung mga alaalang nagpaparamdam sa kanila na mahalaga sila.
Hindi ko sinasabing kailangan magregalo ang mga kalalakihan. Tinatry ko lang ipakita sa inyo kung gaano ka appreciative ang mga babae at kung gaano namin pinahahalagahan ang mga bagay na nagagawa o nabibigay nyo sa amin. Kung ang bagay nga na tulad ng bear na ito, naiingatan at napapahalagahan, yun pa kayang taong tinitibok ng aming puso?
Some people talk shit about girls with high standards like its wrong. What they did not know is that some girls, when hurt by a guy, realizes her value as a person and as a partner therefore raising her standards. So if you find a woman who has a high standard towards men or relationship, understand and just imagine how many guys have hurt her to arrive to that. You don't know half of what that person has been through so stfu.
Nakakalungot isipin na ang taong priority mo, option ka lang pala. Na balewala ka lang sa buhay niya, samantalang ikaw halos ialay mo na ang buong buhay mo sa kanya. Na halos ikamatay mo na pag mawala siya. Na halos sa lahat ng oras inaalala mo siya, kung kumain na ba siya, ligtas ba siya, wala bang nananakit sa kanya. Halos mabaliw ka na dahil mahal na mahal mo siya. Ganoon siguro pag nagmahal ka, di mo na inaalala ang sarili dahil para sayo siya lang ang makakapagpasaya sa araw mo. Wala ka nang pake kung mahal ka rin ba niya, basta ang mahalaga mahal mo siya at gusto mong ligtas siya na maayos ang araw niya. Pero nakakapagod na pag ikaw lang nagpapahalaga sa relasyon niyo, na kahit alam mong wala kang halaga sa kanya ay patuloy ka pa rin sa pag-aalala. Na ang taong priority ay may iba na pa lang priority.
Turning London’s Free Publications into Contemporary Collages with @the.daily.splice
For your daily dose of Adam’s contemporary collage art, follow @the.daily.splice on Instagram.
Thanks to fellow commuters leaving behind free magazines on London’s Tube, Adam Hale (@the.daily.splice) compiles material for his daily collages on the go. “I thought it would strike a chord on social media, as there’s an immediacy to the work in which current topics, trends and affairs are given new context, turning something disposable into something of permanence,” says Adam.
Although a lot of people assume that Adam’s works are created digitally, everything is done by hand. Adam sees the analogue art form of collaging — and its challenges — as a welcome change from his day job at a digital company. “It’s often very hard to ‘splice’ images together without the ability to flip or resize individual elements as you would on a computer, but I enjoy problem-solving and it feels great when something finally slots into place.”
I will always fall in love with people I can never have.
Sabi nila maganda daw yung mapagmahal. Pero hindi rin! Kase yung mga mapagmahal, sila yung madaling mahulog. Sila yung mga taong hindi takot masaktan... hindi takot maiwan... basta ang mahalaga sa kanila, nagmamahal sila at maipadama yung pagmamahal na yon. In other words, and as others call us... TANGA.
Tanga kase ang daling umasa. Tanga kase di marunong magtira para sa sarili. Tanga kase ang daling maniwala. Tanga kase martyr.
Ako aaminin ko, madali akong magmahal. Ang dali kong mahulog sa mga lalaking kaya ako patawanin at pakiligin. Kase hindi naman ako sanay sa ganyan bagay. Hindi ako sanay na makaramdam na special ako. Kaya pag may lalaking nagparamdam sa akin ng ganun, ang dali ko mahulog. Akala ko kase saken lang nya pinararamdam yon. Yun pala, ganun rin sya sa iba. Eto naman ako, si tanga, umasa.
Tulad nung nakausap at nameet ko in person yung isang radio dj. Akala ko yung pag hatid nya sa akin at pag bigay ng jacket, may something special na kame. Yun pala, it was 1) for show and 2) him being a gentleman.
Tapos yung isang kababata ko sa abroad. Crush ko na sya actually nung grade 2 pa lang ako. We never really spoke to each other kahit halos lagi akong nasa bahay nila noon. But thanks to Facebook! Nagkausap rin kame. Nagkuhaan ng number at naging textmates. Niyaya pa nya akong lumabas. Nung una, syempre parang hang out lang. Hanggang sa napaisip ako kung date ba yon. Because of the evidences a friend shared with me. After a few more weeks of texting, I thought we did have something. We even planned for our Boracay trip! But after a few more weeks, when I have gone back to the Philippines, I found out he’s dating someone na. Ouch.
Then also, there’s this guy I once dated. Ever since, despite that I dated others after him, I always found myself going back to him. Parang kahit na nagkaron ako ng boyfriend, mas na-appreciate ko sya kaya ilang taon akong naghintay sa kanya pero... nga-nga. Ayaw ata talaga nya sa akin. Rebound lang siguro talaga ako dun sa high-school gf nya. Umasa ako sa wala. Hanggang sa napagod na ako.
Hindi ko alam kung ilang beses pa akong aasa. Hindi ko alam kung kelan ako tuluyan mapapagod. Pero sana naman, yung susunod na hulog ko, may sasambot na saken.
Since there was no power when I got home today, I just "loomed" all afternoon. Lol. I know I'm too late for the trend but who cares, I'm actually enjoying this shit. 😜 Friends, closest friends, I would love to make you one. Feel free to contact me. Naks! Teehee. 😁
Merong araw na bigla mo mafeefeel yung sobrang pagod. Tipong kahit halos buong araw ka na tulog, kulang parin. Yun ang feeling ko ngayon. Super antok. Konting upo, hikab. Konting sandal, tulog. Napaka unproductive ng aking araw.
The other night, I was scrolling Kina Grannis' youtube channel when the video "The LAST" of Wong Fu production was suggested. Because I'm very interested with Kina, I watched the video. As the story goes and as I slowly understood the story, the memories of me with my past relationships flashed back. So I'm making this blog post.
I believe some of us have loved that way; the way described in that video. Because I also loved five guys: what, when, who, where why.
He was this guy my relatives kept teasing me with. He was our neighbor. We were constantly teased and I admit, I fell for him. I don't know if he was really my first boyfriend since we really didn't have that question and answer. You know... the "will you be my girlfriend?" question ..." and the "yes" answer.
We lost our communication for almost 7 years and when we met again, we became good friends. We love the companionship, the jokes, the tears and laughter, the good and bad memories we have of each other... basically everything we shared together. He had relationships here and there and so did I. People who knows us still teases us and say that we are perfect for each other. But as it was said in Wong Fu's video... Yeah, maybe we were perfect to eyes of other people but the timing was never perfect for us. When we were matured enough to actually know what a relationship is... we were never single at the same time. And what we loved about each other was never enough to leave who we were with.
WHEN
When I was so down because of the sudden lost of communication with What, When was there. When he needed someone to speak with, I was there. We were there for each other when our "flings" rejected us. We became us when we were both in the time of innocence , just like what was said in Wong Fu's video.
It was the time for curiosity, discovery and adventure. We sneak out to see each other. We call each other late at night talking non-sense stuff. We shared this teenage love we thought was forever. And now when I think of it and when I tried to find a photo of us together, I found out we never had one. That everything we had are now just plain memories; memories of a guy who once made me feel loved again.
WHO
Who is that guy in the basketball court? That was the question I had in mind when I saw Who. He was a varsity player in the school I once went to. He was kinda popular. He was known to be a really good player. And living in a country where basketball players are superstars... I wished to be his and him to be mine.
Funny how coincidences brought us to each other. Who would have thought that the girl who once wished for a popular basketball varsity was actually the girl who was good friends with his all time crush? Ooh thank God my friend was already taken.
Yes! I was there for the rebound bitches and I don't care. It felt like it was a dream come true. Who would let that chance go? Even though we started as me being a rebound, everything almost worked out except that we became too attached to each other to a point we already forget who were. We lost ourselves in the thought of having true love... we forgot we were too young to understand that.
WHERE
I needed to find myself again. I had to grow up. I had to go back to the city I treat as my home.
I went to an old friend's house where I was introduced to new faces... where my best friend introduced her boyfriend. Being a best friend, I was almost always with them. But time came when my best friend had to leave. When she left, Where and I were left together. We started as good friends and eventually, the feelings went beyond friendship.
The city we were in was where I learned how to speak English... where I learned how to play soccer... where I learned so many things... That city will forever be close to my heart for that was where I was raised. That is the city I love the most... and the city where I loved the most.
WHY
Why is it that every time we love, we get hurt? Why is it that when people come, they also go? It was the same question we had playing in our heads - me and Why.
We had so many similarities of despair and pain which probably what brought us together. We thought that if we know and experience the hurts of every relationship, we would be able to work everything out... that we would be stronger than before but things happen. People change. Feelings change. And no matter how hard we try to ask why... some things are just unexplainable.
Kina Grannis in the video was the 6th girl. I also had the SIXTH one. The LAST...
The LAST
Unlike Kina, my Last wasn't really the last. I thought he was all of them because he made me understand "what" love truly means. He was there "when" I started feeling unloved. He was this guy "who" actually introduced me properly to his parents and his family as his girlfriend. He brought me to places "where" we made so many memories so unforgettable that I found it hard to move on. Everything... everything seemed perfect: The family, our status in life (I was graduating and he was hired), the plans, the unconditional love... everything really seemed perfect. And until now, it confuses me... "Why" did he have to find someone else?
As I've said earlier... things happen for a reason... a reason we probably will never understand or probably would but it would take quite sometime. I really don't know. All I know is that... right now... he is the last. At least for now...
I'm now in the search for the next guy who I will call How. Because he would be the guy who would teach me "how" to trust again. He "who" would make me believe and who would prove the reason "why" it never worked out with any of them. He who would take me to the same places "where" we would create better memories. That just "when" I thought I would grow old alone... he would kneel with a tiny little black box and ask... "Can I be your last?" while promising to show me "what" true love and forever really is.
Maybe for some, it would really take six people or more before they get to meet the last. So lucky are those who met their first and last love at the same time. But how would we know if he's the last? Honestly, I don't know... I made a mistake with my last. But I'm sure you will know... deep inside you, you will know and feel it when he's already there.
Hindi ako nagmumura ha! Chura neto! Gusto ko lang din maki-uso dahil alam mo naman (o hindi mo alam dahil wala kang pake) na Mother’s Day ngayon kaya hayaan mo na ako.
Close ka ba sa nanay mo? Yung tipong nakakausap mo siya kapag may problema ka? O kahit na tungkol lang sa mga mababaw na...
We went to the province earlier to visit my Dad's family. They arrived the other night. It's been quite a while since they last saw me and everyone seemed to be asking why I didn't have someone with me (referring to a boyfriend). It's funny how your family & relatives are more excited about you having a boyfriend than you for yourself. It does really make me wonder why... how come I'm still single right now? Well, all I know is that... I still want to achieve more in my life. Having a relationship, kahit aaminin kong nakakamiss, is... for now... not really my priority. I'm so glad I'm still single. Kahit na lonely sometimes, at least no heartaches. ;) So to my family & friends who keep on bugging me in having a boyfriend... kalma kayo guys. Sikat na DJ pa yung pinapantasya ko. Hahahaha! Deh, joke lang! Kalma kayo guys. Darating rin tayo dyan.
I'm the type of person that is hard to get along with. I'm stubborn, demanding, sensitive... name it. So I do not have much friends... and I don't blame them for leaving. As I grow older, I realize you don't need to have so many circle of friends. We only need good friends. But how do you define good friends? Some say that if you're a good friend, you're always there when they need you. Totoo naman nga. But I believe it's more than that. Hindi kailangan na lagi kayo magkasama. Hindi kailangan na lagi kayo nag-uusap. What matters is that they don't forget you and you don't forget them too. And the most important of all... Hindi ka nila sinisiraan pag nakatalikod ka. I'm glad to have bumped to another good friend today. I'm glad to have him and a few more good friends. I feel blessed.
