hey!! could you possibly do a Tommy Shelby x sister reader ?? With â you can talk to me about anything. you know that, right? â prompt basically just him being there for his younger sister the rest is up to you :)) but if you donât want to do this thatâs totally okay :)
Its been a while since i got one of these
The back step
Cw: mentions of underage smoking, mental health issues, suicide and death
Gif by @necessarypretext
You never knew your mother nor your father.
You were barely two when she stepped into the cut after Finn's birth and dadâs abandonment made a wreck of whatever hadnât been ruined by the pills and booze.
Just because you didnât have her or our father didnât mean you lacked parents.
Your brothers and sister and your aunt Polly made damn sure you never lacked the love of a parent.
But then your brothers enlisted and left for France and in 1917, John's wife ,Martha, died and you had to help with Johnâs little ones and Finn while Ada and Polly ran the shop.
You were fourteen when they came back.
It was odd, they were odd.
They had nightmares, they drank and smoked more, Tommy took up opium and John simply couldnât handle being a single father.
You got used to it, learned to avoid getting stuck in a bad place and learned the hard way that you donât wake them up from their nightmares.
And in the mean time, Ada taught you to be a lady.
Taught you how to do your hair like hers, how to put on eyeliner without smearing what little they have and turn you into a woman.
When you get bold enough to steal a kiss from a Lee boy, Polly is absolutely livid with you.
You think youâve heard the end of it until you overhear Polly and Tommy talk about a marriage with the Lee family after their grenade nearly killed Finn.
You hear Arthur suggest you because it would be a while until it happens because you are only fourteen.
When Polly tells them about the boy you kissed, you know its over for you.
The next morning you cannot pretend to be okay, you avoid their eyes, you snap at the barmaid for not minding her own business and eventually Tommyâs letting you smoke a cigarette with him on the back step.
âYou can talk to me about anything. You know that, right?â he asked you softly, almost as if he was himself again.
The Tommy you knew was gone.
Sure he was there sometimes, but this Tommy Shelby didnât laugh or dream or even dance anymore.
It was odd having your brother back. Made it all much worse, you think.
You get him back just as theyâll make you marry a boy you hardly know.
âI heard you want to marry me off to the boy I kissed.â You answer, looking at your feet in shame.
Shame because you are a girl and when the boys sleep around with women like Lizzie and Grace, they donât get into trouble.
John wants to marry Lizzie, not because they love each other, but because she is the only one strong enough to raise his children and he brave enough to trust her.
âIf youâd stuck around, kid, you wouldâve heard me say John was the one weâre going to offer them.â Tommy said rubbing the cigarette on his lip before lighting it.
âOh.â What else do you say? âIsnât he engaged to Lizzie?â
âNot anymore, he needs a wife he can trust and raise his children to be as good as you and Finn. A wife people wonât laugh about in his face.â He explained as if you were as grown up as him.
Only one who didnât treat you like a kid.
Maybe that was why he had been your favorite brother before the war.
âWhen will you tell him?â you ask hoping for an answer you wonât get.
âDay after tomorrow, and donât think about telling him. If you tell him, heâll run.â Your brother answered and somehow you agreed to it.
âI donât want them to be hurt, Tommy.â You say hoping he will take his words back and tell John. âWhat if John hates me after?â
Itâs his life after all.
âHe wonât, youâve met Esme Lee, sheâs perfect for him. Heâll be too busy being happy with her to ever be mad at us, sweetheart.â Your brother says and you believe him.
And he is right, John tells you himself that heâs not angry at you for lying to him just as Ada goes into labor.
When Polly sends you to call the midwife because she and Esme arenât enough, you find Grace calling the police.
When you tell Tommy, she tells him youâre lying.
And for a moment you think he believes her.
But he doesnât. Not when the police come to arrest Freddie.
He is out drinking and smoking on the back step looking like hell.
It wasnât his fault he fell in love with a rat and you canât make him better, but you can do one thing.
âYou can talk to me about anything. You know that, right?â you ask as you sit down beside him.
Sorry if this is awful, this is my first time ever trying to write a fanfiction. I'm not sure what this would be classified as but probably too long to be a drabble. Maybe an imagine? If anyone reads this, thank you and I am fine with criticism (I'm sure I did lots of things wrong) but please be kind.
Summary: y/n shelby always tried to make her family happy, but they all believed Grace over her and soon most bonds were disintegrating, especially with Tommy, who she'd always loved and looked up to.
TW:character death, not proofread, possibly missing some so read at your your own discretion.
"Y/N get in here!" Tommy yelled from his office at you where you were sitting in Michael's office doing your homework.
"What did you do this time" Michael asked, irritated but fortunately not at you, he hadn't turned on you.
You had always been Tommy's favorite sibling, him more of a father than a brother to you until Charlie was born. Until recently you'd even lived at Arrowhouse with Grace and him. But after Charlie was born suddenly Grace began complaining to Tommy of how disrespectful you were when no one was around. That you called her names, taunted her and even until they married, had nicknamed little Charlie "the bastard". But just to her, not around anyone else. You hadn't ever done any of that and at first were confused when Tommy began yelling at you frequently and you weren't allowed alone with Charlie anymore.
He held a family meeting without you there to discuss your behavior. By the time that happened you weren't friendly to Grace anymore because what was the point when you'd be in trouble anyways. The family had noticed the tension so for the most part believed Tommy when he told them of your troubling behavior and they began being short with you and before long it felt like all you had left was Ada, Finn and Michael. Polly was no Grace fan but was disappointed in you for supposedly insulting a baby and felt like you should be grateful Grace had agreed to let you live in their house. John, Esme, Arthur and Linda took that line of thinking as well, deeply disappointed in how you went from being one of the sweetest people they knew to being so disrespectful and cruel. They especially were disappointed that you'd be so two-faced and only do this while no one else was around. At least have the backbone to own your behavior was their thoughts.
So now here you were, living with Polly because even though she was disappointed you were still her niece, but living with hostility everywhere. You were still polite when you saw Grace, but now you held yourself back from everyone so their accusations and lack of faith in you didn't hurt so badly.
Responding to Michael's question with a shrug, you got up to walk into Tommy's office ready to be told off again for some imagined offense.
"Sit down y/n," Tommy said coldly, "and explain to me why you felt the need to make my wife cry last night."
Family dinner was held at Arrowhouse last night, and even though you hadn't wanted to go, Ada promised she'd be there and insisted you go with your head held high, knowing you were innocent. She never believed Tommy, remembering how it felt when Grace's betrayal took her Freddy away. Remembering you sneaking to her place to help with Karl, and how alone she felt thinking her brother betrayed her. It baffled her how her family could believe Grace over you, but whenever she brought it up they all asked why Grace would lie when she loved Tommy and she knew how much sending you away and practically severing his bond with you had hurt him. So she, Michael and Finn still staunchly defended you but gave up on getting through to anyone. That's why last night you stuck close to Ada, never being alone with Grace, in the hopes this very incident wouldn't be happening.
"Tell me, oh brother of mine, what did I do to Grace now?" You asked, no longer worried abour his reaction to your attitude since you had already grieved the loss of your relationship.
So he started laying out some imagined conversation that happened in the kitchen when Grace went to ask Mary a question. According to her you'd seen her and started criticizing her hosting skills, telling her what a disaster the upcoming charity gala would be.
You smirked at his tirade, because this time you knew you had proof. "Call Ada, ask her what happened last night" you said, standing up and getting ready to leave.
"I haven't dismissed you yet," Tommy clipped, grabbing your arm. "I am putting you on notice, if you do anything to embarrass Grace tomorrow night at the gala, I will have no choice but to completely cut you from the family the minute you turn 18. That means no help, no using the Shelby name, you'll be on your own."
"Bold of you to assume once I'm 18 I'll be sticking around here" you said, rolling your eyes, "I know my place now, at the bottom. When I'm an adult I'll take care of myself. I'll miss the family I had, but I'll make my own." Then you left.
Tommy sat with his head in his hands. You'd never know how much his heart broke to imagine you completely gone from his life. He didn't know how to reach you anymore. His sister, closer to a daughter. He still loved you so much and had hoped tough love would work, but he missed you deeply and choosing his wife and son had felt like removing a large part of his heart. If only you could have stayed the sweet girl you once were, before jealousy had taken over.
When Grace first went to him with your behavior, he hadn't wanted to believe it. But the more she went to him and the more you denied it the more arguments it caused between him and Grace. Until finally she told him he was putting his true family aside for a girl who wasn't his daughter, who would eventually marry and leave him, while his wife and son suffered in the meantime. It became easier to give in, to be angry at the strife in his house that you were causing. Especially when it stopped as soon as you moved to Polly's.
But he couldn't ignore the voice at the back of his head reminding him Grace was an accomplishhed liar while you had always been awful at it. So he called Ada. 30 minutes later he was more conflicted than ever but knew he needed to get answers from Grace. Ada confirmed you had never been alone with Grace, never even went to the kitchen. Then he spoke to Polly who also had never seen you leave Ada's side. Now Polly was beginning to demand he find out if they had been wrong all along, if her niece had been sacrificed for familiy unity. Michael had been chipping away at her beliefs for awhile now and this seemed to confirm it.
That night, Tommy sat Grace down, determined to find out the truth. After a lot of obfuscation and denial it all came out. She'd been feeling guilty for some time now whenever she saw how heartbroken and torn her husband was, but she was petrified he'd love his son less than his sister, and with her standing in the family being only strong because of Tommy's love for her and Charlie, she panicked and in that panic had thought if she got y/n sent away, Charlie and by extension herself, would always be his top priority.
This saddened him greatly for a multitude of reasons. Her lack of faith in him even though he'd never been the betrayer in their relationship, his poor choices, his cruelty to you, the loss of that bond. It all hurt.
The next day, before heading out on business he demanded a family meeting be held. He made Grace come with him and confess all. She did, because deep down she felt awful that she'd ruined the life of a sweet girl that had never been anything but kind to her. She'd seen the loss of spark in your eyes and couldn't deny any longer how horrible her behavior was. Maybe this could be fixed. At least your relationship with your family, especially Tommy. He missed you deeply and maybe the memories of all the years he'd loved and taken care of you could combat the time he'd spent alienating and breaking your heart.
The family was horrified but not shocked. Deeply disappointed in Tommy and themselves they made a plan to begin making it up to you. Tomorrow, after the gala, they'd all individually apologize and set about making things right. Work was cut short so they could all get ready, but at least tonight they'd be knd to you and start treating you like the beloved little sister you'd always been.
Tommy and Grace rode in silence to the gala. Grace didn't know how to bridge the gap and Tommy was lost in thought. Before they got out he turned to her and said "After you apologize to y/n, we can begin fixing us. You're Charlie's mother and I still love you, but you broke my trust and cost me someone precious. So right now, let's just focus on righting the wrongs we both have done." Grace agreed sadly, knowing it would be a long time before she had her husband back, but accepting this as the consequences for her bad decisions.
For you the night was going great! Everyone was suddenly friendly, and even Tommy had a warmth in his eyes at you that you hadn't seen in a long time. Grace had made a point of complimenting you and suddenly everyone wanted to talk to you. It made the night pleasant, but you weren't getting your hopes up. You'd built walls and they weren't coming down because suddenly people treated you like you were family again. You stuck around Ada and Finn.
While everyone had been having epiphanies and making plans to repair relationships today, you'd been doing some thinking of your own. Mostly thinking about how different your life might have looked had you had parents. They maybe would have loved you unconditionally. Maybe your relationship with your brothers, their wives, your aunt would have been better if they hadn't also had to help raise you. For so long, you hadn't felt you were missing anything because you had brothers, a sister, an aunt, and more recently a cousin and sisters-in-law that loved you ahd made you feel protected and like you belonged. As a child you'd had multiple people to go to for love, advice and help, it never occurred to you that that could all be taken away. Even during the war, the letters you got from your brothers and the presence of Finn, Ada and Aunt Polly had always kept you from feeling lonely. Now you knew that could be taken away and now you knew loneliness. Now you felt like the orphan you were.
Tommy was walking away from some duchess when he caught your eye and motioned you over. You went over hesitantly, hoping you weren't about to be chastised for something. As you walked up to him, he was in conversation with Grace about her necklace. Hoping to slip past them without being seen as everyone was moving into the banquet hall to eat, you suddenly heard someone yell out "For Angel!" with a gun in their hand. At once time slowed down and sped up and all you could think of was little Charlie losing his parents and becoming like you. Not even realizing you were moving, suddenly there was a sharp pain in your stomach and you were falling into another person.
Everything became chaos. Tommy was horror stricken as he held his baby sister's head in his lap while Grace was putting pressure on the wound. He yelled for someone to call an ambulance and kept trying to get your attention, because you were still breathing but staring at the ceiling like you could see someone there.
"Please, y/n, please look at me, stay with me, don't leave me" he begged, running a hand soothingly through your hair as tears streamed down his cheeks, all the while remembering years of time spent together, how you would climb into his bed after the war and just lay beside him when he'd have nightmares, grounding him and reminding him he was home, safe and warm, not in a tunnel, no enemy shovels around.
Grace had one hand putting pressure on your wound, the other holding your hand while she cried as well. She was horrified at what her behavior stole from you, while you had literally saved her life. Thinking back on the sweet little girl back when she was a barmaid, asking her to sing because her voice was "beautiful" Soon she was nudged roughly out of the way by John who took over putting pressure on your wound, tears streaming down his cheeks. His thoughts on the girl he used to throw in the air when she was little, her always trusting he'd catch her.
Arthur was beating the man who had fired the bullet, he couldn't make himself stop. All he could see was you in his arms as a baby, your finger wrapped in his and your eyes looking at him so trusting, and how much he'd let you down by not going against Tommy.
Polly was on the phone getting an ambulance, begging them to hurry, trying to keep herself calm as she remembered all the times when you were little and would hold out your arms, confident you'd get picked up and cuddled, she could almost feel the warmth of your head on her shoulder.
Ada was holding Finn, praying silently for her sister, most recently at an age where she was fun to shop with, try on clothes together, the girl who would confide in her because she trusted Ada's judgement and knew she was safe to be herself with her.
Michael stood at the door waiting for the ambulance, doing his best not to cry, thinking of his cousin who, even feeling alone and rejected by almost everyone, would listen as he spoke about his girlfriend, and who would joke around with him while doing homework.
Esme and Linda stood by Grace, quietly crying, both thinking of how welcoming and sweet you'd been when they were introduced to the family. Esme knowing no one and yet you immediately treated her like a sister, helping with the kids and softening some of Polly's harshness during the London expansion. Linda wishing she'd gotten to know you better, but remembering how you'd hugged her when she and Arthur got married and said how you knew she'd make him happy and help him find peace.
Regret and sorrow ran so powerfully through the large ballroom it felt like they were a physical presence.
Going back in time, to the start, but from Alfie's point of view, about the moment he met the woman of his life.
Most people thought Alfie Solomons was crazy.
For his part, he saw no reason to contradict them. Because they wouldn't believe it, because it could be very useful in business, and because it wasn't entirely false.
However, people seemed to confuse madness with stupidity.
Again, very useful in business, even if it could be a little insulting.
Far from being stupid, Alfie did a lot of things by putting on an idiotic face to lure the real idiots out, making them think they had a chance to fool him and gain an advantage over him. Then he would crush them without the slightest remorse.
One of his favorite games was looking for a new secretary.
Alfie didn't need a secretary. He knew how to keep his accounts, knew all his employees, his associates, his enemies, and above all, he trusted no one, not even himself.
If he announced he was looking for a secretary, it was to give his competitors the opportunity to send pretty spies, to whom he would give bad information, psychologically exhausting them, before dismissing them rudely.
He had already had Italian secretaries, Irish ones, Russian ones, policewomen, communists, but this was the first time he had a Shelby.
Nothing indicated at first glance that this girl was one of the Peaky Blinders. Her name wasn't on the list of suspect candidates. Too pretty, too intelligent, too good for this world, she clearly didn't belong, and yet here she was, asking for the job.
The light in her eyes, her determination, a slightly annoying side that made him trembleâmany details reminded him of Thomas, though he couldn't explain why.
It took a little time and money to the right people to uncover one of the Shelbys' best-kept secrets. A half-sister. A bastard. Adorable.
If he'd decided to hire her before learning this more important piece of information, Alfie would have found the situation even funnier and more interesting now. He had enormous leverage over Tommy, which the idiot had put directly into his hands.
At least, he could have had leverage. If he hadn't fallen in love.
In his long, bitchy life, Alfie Solomons had fallen in love three times.
The first time, when he was five, with a much older neighbor who'd gotten engaged to a jerk who didn't deserve her. The second time when he was sixteen, completely drunk in a tavern, by a barmaid he'd never seen again. The third time in France, half-dead, asking the nurse looking after him if she would marry him, and despairing when he learned she was already taken.
Well, in hindsight, maybe Alfie had never known the true, real thing. Not until Y/N Shelby.
"Good morning, Mr. Solomons," she'd say, bursting into his office right on time with the same intensity, not caring if she disturbed him, woke him up, or annoyed him. "Here's some tea and today's documents to check and sign."
"I thought your job was to check them, treacle."
"Of course, and I did, and they're all correct, but you'll still want to make sure. I brought scones too, you haven't eaten since yesterday."
She was right about the meal, and the lack of trust, and the perfect accuracy of the documents she'd checked. Alfie was completely charmed.
It wasn't a good thing, not at all.
In a perfect world, he would have proposed to her, several times, until she accepted because he was handsome, because he was stubborn and annoying too. They would have had a beautiful wedding, and everything would have been magical, simple.
Oh, he asked her to marry him every day, but he knew it wouldn't be easy, nor would it ever happen. Because she was a Shelby. Not only would her brothers never agree, but they could use it against him.
And frankly, Y/N could do better. She deserved better.
"I really don't understand what you're doing here, love."
"Well, it's Thursday, I'm checking the sales, as always."
"Hilarious. I'm mean, here with me, in my bakery, when you're smart enough to be, I don't know, a bookseller, or a teacher, or a prime minister. I might end up believing you enjoy my company."
"Maybe I don't hate it." she snickered softly as she went back to her books, and Alfie couldn't tell if she was torturing him on purpose.
"Marry me."
"I'll think about it if there aren't any missing sales, Mr. Solomons."
"Alfie, treacle. And there are plenty of missing sales, you know that, I don't write them all down."
"What a shame."
Y/N knew a lot more than the previous secretaries, and yet it became quite clear after a while that she wasn't repeating everything to Thomas. Mostly unimportant, almost useless things that wouldn't add anything to her business.
Besides that, she took care of him as if she truly cared about him, making sure he slept, hydrated, and didn't hurt his back. Sometimes she reminded him of his mother. Sometimes he stared at her with a puppy-dog look, hoping she would say yes to his request.
When Sabini came to see him about the Blinders, Alfie hesitated. He was pretty furious with Tommy for ruining his reputation a bit lately, but the money was there and he was happy to see Y/N every day.
But being able to go back to Epson. It was a tempting proposition.
Besides, she would never marry him. It was better that she disappeared now.
He watched her leave with regret, asking her one last time to marry him before she walked out the door. He could see a certain hesitation in her eyes. Maybe she'd finally developed feelings after being locked in a room with him for so long, the poor woman.
No one could tell him how the Shelbys found out he knew she was their sister. In any case, they panicked like the fools they were, convinced he might hurt her.
Him, hurt Y/N. He'd rather jump into the Thames. The messages to Thomas to reassure him were in vain. After all, Alfie had betrayed him, killed his men, and sent Arthur to prison, he had reason to be suspicious. The gifts were more to distract the poor sister locked up in Birmingham than to tell her she had nothing to fear from him.
He had laughed at their reaction when he learned he knew. Fate made him pay for it, because he panicked more than they did when he learned that several Shelbys had fallen seriously ill, including his sweet Y/N, and that their doctor didn't seem able to help her.
Since he clearly didn't always keep his promises, especially those he made to himself, he ran in the middle of the night to be by her side. His poor love, bedridden, burning with fever.
She seemed happy to see him, even though she still worried about him. Always. At that moment, Alfie knew he could never leave her again, even if she didn't want to marry him, even if her brothers threatened to kill him, even if he risked losing everything.
Luckily, Y/N was willing to have him, which was a sign of insanity if you asked her opinion, but he wasn't going to complain, waiting in the street with his horse and flowers for her family to decide whether he could come in or not.
"Thomas, if that asshole comes in, I'm leaving."
"Calm down, Arthur. Sit down. Mr. Solomons comes in peace, to explain himself, apologize, and make an offer."
"He wants to fuck our sister !"
"Oy ! I want to marry your sister, if she still wants me after all your questions and reproaches. I passed on Sabini's message, this dirty little racist liar, who betrayed me as soon as it was done. I was wrong, I admit it. Thomas received my compensation list, and all I ask for is a second chance."
"Fuck you. Y/N, tell him to fuck off, he's making fun of you, he doesn't love you. And you don't love him anyway, do you ?"
"IâŚ" Y/N trembled, between her sister and her aunt. "I'm sorry, Arthur. Sorry."
Angry but with a heart, full of love for his little sister, which raised Alfie's self-esteem, Arthur went for a walk to calm down, but ended up agreeing to the deal, and the marriage, which wasn't part of the deal. Y/N wasn't for sale or purchase.
The other siblings followed suit, partly because they wanted her to be happy, and partly because Thomas seemed to approve of the union, crazy as it was.
Most of them thought Y/N was crazy for wanting to be with him. The whole country thought so, even though they also thought Alfie was crazy for wanting a Shelby.
The difference was, everyone already thought he was crazy. So in the end, it wasn't so much of a surprise, and almost completely normal.
Summary: Almost 19 year old Clara finds out that her brother Finn was disowned from the family. Set in season 6.
A/N: Well đ part 1 is finally here. I might end up rewriting this when I try out different writing styles, but here it is, for now. As always, constructive and kind criticism is always welcome. As well as reposts and likes, of course đ
Clara blinks then looks up from her book. Did Arthur just say what she think he just said? Finn was⌠disowned? She cuts Tommy off, ignoring the glare he sends her way as she asks, âWait? What did you say about Finn?â
Tommy pinches the bridge of his nose, while Arthur answers her question, âFinn pulled his gun on Duke and Isaiah. He was trying to protect Billy. Heâs a traitor and heâs no longer a member of this family.â
Clara shakes her head, unable to fathom how Finn, their Finn, could do something like that. For the past couple of years, Finn had told her that he didnât even want to use his gun anymore. She opens her mouth to assure them that they must be mistaken, but Tommy cuts her off in his signature stern tone, âDonât start, Clara. He did what he did, and thatâs that. Itâs done with.â
âBut, it must have been a mistake, Tommy⌠Finn wouldnât do that without good reason. What did he say when you talked to him?â
Silence crawls up through the room, grabbing everyoneâs voices and pulling them down, like cobras in a cobra pit, until the only sound in the office is the clock on the wall. Clara glances around the room at all of them with a deadpan expression. Her face morphs into a look of pure confusion and she continues, âYou did talk to him, didnât you?â
Arthur sighs, and tries to explain himself, âClaraâŚâ
Everything Arthur says is muffled to Claraâs ears, her heart beating so powerfully that she can hear it instead of Arthurâs voice. All the childhood memories she has with Finn come rushing back to her in a wave, and she canât even take a breath before she drowns in it. Her and Finn were born only 10 months apart, they were basically raised as actual twins. They had shared a room until they were nine and ten years old, and an actual bed until they were seven and eight. The elder siblings and Aunt Polly had raised her and Finn from infancy. They were their babies⌠Their first babies, despite not coming from their bodies⌠How could they just let Finn go like this?
Clara cuts Arthur off mid explanation, ready to ream him out, âYou didnât talk to him?! Heâs our brother! You have to at least hear him out. What the hell is wrong with y-â
âThatâs enough, Clara!â Tommyâs harsh voice cuts through the room, making Clara flinch. âYou donât speak to any of us like that.â
âOh, piss off, Tommy!â Clara snaps. âYou let him go without a bloody word, for what?! Some son you donât even know?!â
Tommy sends her a deadly glare, but Clara only returns it, the matching eyes battling for the upper hand. After years of explosive arguments with him, sheâs become very accustomed to these glares, but she usually knows when to back down. Right now, is not one of those times. âClara Elizabeth Mary Shelby,â Tommy speaks in a cold voice, that sends chills straight down her spine, tickling each bone until little goosebumps freckle upon her skin. âYou listen to me and you listen good. I know you donât like Duke, and that is fine, for now, but what Finn did is unacceptable and I will not tolerate it. Duke is my child andââ
âSo areâ!â Clara stops herself abruptly, the tires of her mind squealing as they come to a stop. With a soft whimper and a look of disgust, she shakes her head, and runs straight out of the house, ignoring the calls from behind her.
She runs with all the strength she has left, letting her heart choose the destination, until it ultimately takes her to their old house on Watery Lane. Once in the old bedroom, she collapses on the bed, her legs giving out from under her, and her feet covered in cuts from running the full distance with no shoes. She grabs an old yellowed pillow and breaks down completely. The haunting words that Arthur and Tommy had spoken, replaying in her mind on a never ending record. The sounds that leave her mouth donât beg for comfort, but instead release. They come from a place much deeper than just heartbreak. Agony. The agony of feeling her family being torn apart before her very eyes, the agony of not being able to do anything to stop it, the agony of⌠everything. They leave her throat feeling like torn ribbons of flesh, each scream pulling a new band of ribbon, until nothing is left but the raw metallic taste of blood.
Clara is sure the whole lane can hear her, but she canât bring herself to care. No one comes to her aid anyway. The house is just a shell now, a painful reminder of the love that once lived in its rickety bones. The love that the siblings and Aunt Polly made sure of, not wanting Clara and Finn to grow up the way they did with their abusive father. So much for that⌠Claraâs heart clenches as if being squeezed by someoneâs handâTommyâs handâ and she lets out another scream of agony.
The next morning, when Tommy comes to see where Clara ran off to, all he finds is a letter on the bed. On the letter is a single sentence,
Thomas,
If Finn is no longer a part of this family, then neither am I.
C.S.
âYOU WHAT?!â Aunt Polly yells. Her loud voice slashes through the air like a whip from the unbelievable news, causing everyone to become uneasy.
Tommy closes his eyes and sighs deeply, before explaining to Aunt Polly the same thing he had explained to Clara a few days ago.
Aunt Pol gives Tommy a look of pure fury as she hears what happened with Finn, her hand twitching with the urge to smack him.âSo, let me get this straight, Thomas. You disowned your baby brother without giving him a single chance to explain why he did what he did?â
Tommy huffs, and pinches the bridge of his nose, feeling a massive headache starting to come on. When she explains it like that, it sounds a lot worse⌠âPol, he is a grown man now. Finn is by no means a baby anymore. He knew the consequences of his actions and he still chose to do it.â
âItâs not about that, Thomas,â Aunt Polly spits venomously. âItâs about family loyalty. Yes, Finn made a big mistake. Why? Well that wouldâve been nice to find out, donât you think? You four have made your grand share of mistakes that would put Finnâs to shame, and did we disown you? No.â
Tommy stands up and opens his mouth to defend himself, but Aunt Polly holds her hand up, silencing the gangster with just five fingers. âJust because Finn and Clara are a lot younger than the rest of you, doesnât mean that they donât deserve the benefit of the doubt. We raised those kids!â She clenches her hand into a fist, and takes a deep breath, trying to calm down and put this in a way that the oldest four will understand, âI can tell you with absolute certainty that for Finn and Clara itâs not about being given up on by their siblings⌠itâs about being given up on by their parents, and Iâd think you four would know exactly how that feels.â
Arthur stands up so fast that it makes his head spin, and his hand reaches back to grasp the back of his chair to keep his temper in check. It has always been a painful topic for them all, but especially for the eldest of the family. It had been him to pick up the pieces when their father left.
Sure, they all know that theyâve played more parental roles in Clara and Finnâs lives, but hearing it out loud hurts much more than they ever expected.
Aunt Polly is correct, as usual, they all know what itâs like to be abandoned by a parent. Their father had left them before Clara was even born, going god knows where to do god knows what. The man hadnât even realized that his wife was pregnant again before abandoning the family, not even coming home for their motherâs funeral after Claraâs birth.
Aunt Polly seeâs the looks on their faces, knowing that she has struck a cord. One that has needed to be struck for many years now. She nods at them, her words having the effect that she wanted. âI remember a very certain group of four siblings who made a very specific promise to two babies, about nineteen years agoâŚâ
Simultaneously, they all recall the promise they had made shortly after Claraâs birth. Tommy turns to face the window, and grips the long curtain for stability, the words affecting him the most. He had held both the babes in his arms that night as they all swore that Clara and Finn would never know the fear that they themselves had grown up with. They had promised to love the kids as if they were their own, and to raise them with love and happiness. That promise had been long forgotten once the brothers came home from the war as changed men.
âWhere are they, Pol?â Arthur asks. His eyes are now closed as he attempts to hold back tears. If anyone knows where the kids are, itâs Polly.
Aunt Polly purses her lips, and shakes her head at the four remaining siblings in front of her. âYou want them back? You find them. I know you lot have all the resources in the world at your fingertips. Donât fuck this up even more.â
Tommy stands up, taking charge as he always does, and starts giving orders: Arthur and John to get every Blinder a photograph of Finn and Clara, and search everywhere, as north as Carlisle and as south as Brighton. Ada to talk to all of Clara and Finnâs friends, and Polly to wait just in case they decide to come home.
Somehow I got carried away and this got long đ¤ special thanks to Allie and Heather for suggesting another part ! âĽď¸
Summary: Robert focuses on his work, nothing new. It was only natural heâd find refuge in his office after a break up. But that led him to end up in the hospital.
Opening the drawer in his desk, Robert found Y/Nâs photograph. The one he threw there angry after the breakup.
It had been two weeks since he last saw her and in those days he was having a hard time specially at night. He got used to having Y/N next to him in his bed, waking up beside her, listening her weird music taste or listen to whatever tragedy happened to her during the day.
Leaving him affected him more than he could admit out loud. So he stayed working in his office very late or heâd arrive before seven oâclock. But he wasnât going through a good time.
âI donât want to wait another year for this project.â Robert stated feeling something strange in his chest.
It felt like a tingle.
His vision got a bit blurry but he shook his head.
âMr. Fischer we need to get first-â his financial advisor frowned and couldnât finish his line of thought.
âAre you alright?â Peter asked.
Robert nodded but he started to see black dots.
And then everything went blank, he closed his eyes and didnât know what happened or how he got to a hospital.
âCan you tell me your name?â A man in white robe asked whilst checking his eyes.
As Robert answered all the protocol questions, he found Peter standing in a corner with a distorted face.
âYou were brought to the hospital just in time Mr. Fischer.â The doctor stated with a straight face.
âWhat happened?â He didnât know anything after some black dots blinded his vision.
âIt was a pre-heart attack.â
The news felt like a bucket full of ice water, it took Robert several seconds to recompose.
âMay I ask if youâve been under some relevant stress? Something that upset you?â
Robert shook his head, but his Godfather, Peter finally spoke.
âHeâs been staying in the office until 2-3 in the morning, started picking drinking booze and coffee to stay awake.â Robert gave him a knowing glance. âAnd he broke up with his girlfriend.â
That was the final blow.
âMr. Fischer you are sabotaging yourself, do you realize of that, right? At this pace, Iâd suggest youâve your will in order.â
The doctorâs words felt like knife, it was bold and cold but he had seen other patients like this pass away in a matter of days.
âNow, if you want a different outcome, youâd need bed rest, light exercise like walking, no caffeine or alcohol and a very strict diet, along with some medicines Iâll prescribe.â
After checking his vitals, the doctor excused himself and left to see other patients.
âWhy did your secretary know about your breakup before I did? I came across Y/Nâs grandma and she told me and when I asked Mrs. Rhymes later about it she said she thought something happened because Y/N left your office in tears two weeks ago.â Peterâs tone wasnât in recrimination, he was worried.
Robert turned his head towards the opposite wall.
âBecause I didnât know how to react.â
âSo throwing yourself into an insane workaholic life, far worse than you already did is the answer?â
âLike I said,â Robert paused looking at Peter, âI didnât know what to do.â
âIs this getting Y/N back?â
âShe ended it, I donât think she wants to come back to me.â Robert swallowed hard, an uncomfortable knot installed in his throat.
He tried to pretend he didnât care or that he could go on without Y/N and look at what happened. He ended up in a hospital bed with a monitor connected to his heart.
âIf you donât mind, Iâd like to have some rest.â
âIâll be outside if you need anything.â
âY/N! Y/N! Wait!â Long time friend Allie called for her, but she didnât listen so Y/N kept going.
Turning her head to check on her made Y/N realize she was running by herself, so she stopped and walked back.
âReally? It took you damn long to notice I wasnât there?â She stated still trying to catch her breath.
âSorry, I got carried away.â
âNo, youâre dealing with a heartbreak and dragging me into this mess, I canât keep up running at your pace, Iâm going to end up with an oxygen mask.â She complained. But then, her voice softened. âYouâre not alright.â
âNo.â Y/N breathed out loudly. âI miss Robert every minute.â
âOh Goodness, will you finally tell me why you broke up with him?â
With a deep sight, Y/N leaned forward. She had been trying everything to stop thinking about Robert; cleaning up and down her entire apartment, volunteering at a local shelter, shopping, swimming, running.
And now she could feel the burnout.
But of course, despite her busy agenda forgetting about Robert had been impossible.
She swore it would be easier, but the more she tried to avoid him, the more she thought about him.
âAllie, heâs never going to fully let me in. He will never change his mind⌠all I can expect for a future with him is what we had; spending some nights together, dragging him across the street for some forced dinner, he rarely puts any effort.â
Allie studied her friend, she had a valid point.
âI even doubt he really loved me, heâs married to his work and loneliness.â
âDamn, I donât even know what to tell you.â Allie shuddered.
âLetâs go back.â Y/N proposed checking her watch.
âWalking if you donât mind, I donât wanna pass out here.â
With a nod, Y/N followed her friend, taking it easier this time.
And to be honest, she thought she was fine with the crumbs Robert offered. She knew deep down Robert wasnât going to change, it was all he got to offer.
Thatâs where the problem was, she wanted more. She needed more.
One of her dreams was traveling the world with him. Which was impossible because Robert could hardly survive the weekends, if it was for him, heâd be at the office on Sundays.
âThe vitals are looking good Mr. Fischer.â The nurse gave him a smile.
âDo you know when I will be discharged?â He asked impatiently.
âNot yet, but soon.â She assured him.
âItâs been just 24 hours barely,â Peter appeared popping his head into the private hospital room. âMay I suggest you tie him to the bed.â
Robert rolled his eyes.
âHey, theyâre treating you just fine, you got good food, a few nurses at your disposal⌠I think I might just sign up to get sick.â He winked at the nurse.
âDonât even joke about it, right now I need you to take care of everything.â
âThatâs what Iâm doing.â Peter took seat in the comfortable sofa. He just grabbed a coffee and a snack from the fridge.
âActually I brought you some papers, just for a signature.â
Checking the papers, Robert approved the purchases and costs, he had previously compared vendors so it was just a checklist.
âWhat are you going to do?â Peter asked.
Robert gave him an annoying glance. âWait until the next nurse or doctor comes to check on me?â
With a scoff, Peter shook his head. âAfter you get out of here I mean.â
âGo back to work I suppose.â
âRobert, apart from working in the company, I do care about you.â Peter stated firmly. âYouâre like a son to me and I want the best for you, so I feel the obligation to tell you, that you canât keep going on like this, you already had a warning⌠think it through.â
Robert stared at the wall with his mind in blank. He had never been able to stay in bed and do nothing, he needed the rush, meeting after meeting, to keep his mind busy.
This hospital stay was driving him crazy, but the doctor mentioned they needed to keep track of his heart.
But above all of that, he missed Y/N terribly.
âYou really should wear the red dress.â Heather advised from her spot on the ottoman.
Y/N made a face. âI donât think so.â
âWhy not? Itâs perfect! Dan is going to lose his mind!â
âItâs too much, I only agreed to have a drink.â Y/N wrinkled her nose up.
And she immediately stopped doing it, Robert used to say it was an adorable mannerism and then proceeded to kiss the tip of her nose.
âYou donât sound too excited, you know?â
Heather sighed defeated. Dan was part of her group of friends and he had always been waiting an opportunity to go out with Y/N ever since meeting her.
Now after learning she was single, he didnât waste a day to ask her out, but the lack of enthusiasm Y/N was showing was a major reason for Heather to feel worried.
âI canât help but think this is too soon.â Y/N sorted through her wardrobe to find something casual to wear.
Did she really want to take this step?
Date someone else, laugh with someone else, listen to another manâs story.
Someone who wasnât Robert.
âY/N relax, itâs just a drink.â
Listening to Heather, Y/N nodded taking a deep breath.
It was easier said than done, though. She felt nervous and uneasy.
Could she ever look at another man the same way she saw Robert?
She broke up with him, yes but that didnât mean she stopped loving him right away. They had a story together, ups and downs, a solid foundation even though they thought differently about marriage.
Was it time to move on?
âAre you sure itâs just drinks? Girl youâre looking fine. Dan wonât be able to take his eyes off of you.â Heather praised making Y/N blush.
That wasnât the reaction she wanted to provoke.
But now she didnât have time to change her clothes again, so taking her purse she followed Heather outside.
Heather offered to drive her to her date and Dan would take her home, but now she was mortified thinking he could get the wrong impression. Because she obviously didnât want to invite him in.
Y/N laughed effortlessly at something Dan said. His cologne didnât make her feel dizzy, Heather probably suggested a very subtle fragrance. He thanked the waiter for the glass of water and listened to her conversation.
Itâs not that Robert was rude, but he was always so serious, so invested in business that he forgot to enjoy the little things.
Mentally she kicked herself for comparing Dan to Robert, it was unfair⌠but inevitable. Would it ever stop?
âPeter.â Y/N recognized Robertâs godfather and business partner.
The man acknowledged her with a nod and then his eyes moved towards the manâs sitting with her. Damn it, by now he must know about the split, but his presence made her think Robert would be with him since Peter was accompanied by a couple business men.
Peter seemed to want to tell her something, but he retracted and shook his head.
âWhatâs wrong Peter?â Y/N stopped him by the arm.
âRobert is in the hospital, Iâm actually covering him.â
But Y/N couldnât process the rest of what he explained. The word hospital kept repeating in her head.
****
It took Y/N several minutes to move her feet, it felt heavy, like some strong glue prevented her to get closer.
A million times she said she wouldnât do this and now she was staring at the door waiting to get the last push of courage or something happening to take it as a sign to know she shouldnât do this.
She forced a smile when someone walked across her.
But before she could stop herself, she knocked and pulled the handle.
âI said I didnât need anyt-â Robert started to say in an annoyed tone but he cut himself halfway when he realized Y/N was there.
âLooks like itâs not a good time,â she replied feeling her heart break at the sight of Robert in a hospital gown in bed. Her eyes darted to the machine connected to monitor his heartbeat.
She had never seen him sick, Robert was always so healthy, always on a strict and methodic diet, that the sight of him like this left her speechless.
He looked down at his lap uncomfortably, he wasnât expecting her.
âNo I thought it was the nurse coming back.â
âI saw your uncle last night, he told me what happened.â
âItâs nothing.â He added dismissing the scary moment he went through.
âRobert.â
âWhat do you want me to say? You canât control these things.â
That was such a Robert thing to say.
âYou had a pre-heart attack, thatâs something serious.â
She couldnât mask the fact that she felt really worried.
He looked away, Robert couldnât stare at her eyes while admitting he threw himself into work to keep busy because he didnât know what to without her. He hated arriving home and not finding her sleeping in his bed, or listening her cheerful stories at dinner.
He never fully realized how important she was and how much she meant to him until he lost her.
The hardest part was that she knew how helpless he felt, being in bed was probably driving him crazy.
âRobert⌠talk to me, please.â Y/N pleaded him, her tone was soft, tender.
It took him several minutes to collect the courage to speak. But he had to admit it out loud.
âI miss you and I know I fucked it upâŚâ
Robert expressed with difficulty because of the knot installed in his throat.
âYou were right tho,â he continued stealing glances at Y/N at times. âI never made you a priority and now I can see the damage and pain I caused you⌠I just wanted to remain busy because I felt lost without you.â
He had never been more sincere in his life before. Y/N could see the vulnerability in his eyes and she could only imagine how hard it was for him to express his true feelings for the first time.
âIf I could do it all differently, I would.â
His confession took Y/N by surprise, she thought he would never learn the lesson, this wasnât the Robert she knew.
âRobert what are you saying?â
He didnât know what kind of force was pushing him, but he knew he didnât want to lose her.
âI want to ask you to forgive me, Y/N I want to do it right. But I know my apologies might be late, there was probably a queue of men after you and after pushing your buttons like I didâŚâ
This is what she had been waiting for, the answer to her prayers. The Robert she dreamed to see; paying attention, recognizing when he was wrong, making her feel like she was important.
But was there still time?
Y/N took a deep breath and her eyes found a spot on the wall.
Robert took the chance to find her hand.
âY/N⌠look at me.â He pleaded whilst having an internal battle with himself, with everything he swore he was.
Deep down he knew there would be only two outcomes from this situation; he could either let his pride win and lose her or admit he was wrong, work out his personal issues and try to get her back.
Y/N slowly dragged her eyes to find his crystal eyes, she could recognize his feelings for her in there, the silent plead.
âIâm really sorry for making you feel like you werenât important to me, it was a mistake to let you carry all the pressure, trust me⌠Iâm genuinely sorry.â
âRobert, I know.â Y/N couldnât hold the tears any longer.
âNo, let me finish,â he squeezed her hand slightly, âI want to be the best version of myself for you. These days have been the worst of my life without you.â
âWell itâs not like I was living the dream.â She rolled her eyes.
Her friends Allie brought a couple of bottles of wine and pastries the first night and Heather dragged her to the shower on the third day because she didnât have the energy to carry the trash outside.
âThatâs not what Peter said though.â Robert raised his eyebrows. âHeard you were having dinner with someone else.â
Y/N went pale, although she went straight home after Peter told her about what happened to Robert, only giving Dan a rushed apology. It was just dinner but she felt like she was betraying Robert.
âIâm not recriminating you anything,â Robert assured her with a wink, âbut it definitely made me realize I didnât want you to slip away without trying. Perhaps itâs too late now, but I need you to know Iâm willing to do anything for you.â
Y/N bit her lower lip. âAre you done talking?â
Robert nodded defeated, it was too fucking late he thought.
âGood, because youâre taking me to dinner once you get discharged.â
âDeal.â He answered right away. âTo that French restaurant you love, the one with the marble columns and big chandeliers.â
âMy, my who is this new Robert Fischer and what did you do with the original?â Y/N teased surprised by his enthusiasm.
Robert chuckled, a very rare sound Y/N barely got to hear a few times during their relationship, but it came out naturally and it made him seem to be full of life.
He stared at their intertwined hands and caressed her skin gently with his thumb.
âYou know⌠perhaps I could take off Fridays afternoons and we could go somewhere?â He blurted out unexpectedly.
Y/N realized he was truly making an effort and that alone, meant everything to her. Inside of her chest, her heart was drumming uncontrollably. Could this be the start of something new?
âTell me, whatâs crossing your mind.â Robert pleaded, making it obvious that he was paying attention to her this time around.
Shaking her head, Y/N sat next to him.
âIâm coming to your next appointment with the doctor and I donât want to hear you complaining.â She stated firmly.
âYes maâam.â Robert gave her a nod, his eyes filled with hope.
âAnd weâre taking this easy.â Another nod from him. âIâve made some mistakes as well, the effort needs to be both ways.â
âCan we try, you know⌠how about you stay a couple of nights in my apartment first?â
Y/N locked her eyes with his.
âThen⌠eventually you could move in with me?â He asked tentatively.
âRobert⌠do you actually mean that?â
He nodded eagerly, because he did.
His reassurance was all she needed, without wasting another minute, Y/N threw herself into his arms, carefully to not hurt him though. And searched for his lips to kiss Robert deeply.
âAnd to think I only needed to get you scared huh?â He chuckled.
Y/N wanted to tell him to stop joking about it, but this time around Robert pulled her chin up to give her another kiss.
Master list
Tag list @lyarr24 @ttzamara @gretelshelby @camilahpg03 @acillianproblem
đđđĄđđ â I haven't had the inspiration or time to write too much, but here's a short short short angsty smutty mini fic because recently i went thru a fuck ass breakup and imma channel it in my writing & cope THIS way lol
đđ˘đđđđđŚ â Maybe in an alternate reality, you'd get to keep all of Jonathan Crane, and not just the residuals of him that he left behind in your bed.
đđđđ đśđđ˘đđĄ â 1.4k
đžđ¨đšđľđ°đľđŽđş -> 18+ ONLY
Smut, p-in-v, oral (f! receiving), angst
đ´đ¨đşđťđŹđšđłđ°đşđť
â§ď˝Ľďž: *â§ď˝Ľďž:*
A faint giggle escaped your lips as you let your head gently hit the pillow on the king-sized bed you and Jonathan shared.Â
The sunlight peeked through the curtains in all their glory, warmth bleeding into the room. It felt like only moments ago, the same room was ice-cold, but with you wrapped up in Jonathanâs arms, your whole body was suddenly set ablaze. You swore youâd never forget this feeling â you never wanted to.Â
âI missed having you like this,â you whispered against his ear before he kissed you gently. Instinctively, you wrapped your arms around his neck and shoulders as you pulled him closer and deepened the kiss. Jonathan had barely spoken a word to you this morning, but you brushed it off.
You pulled away from the kiss to look into those oh-so-comforting blue eyes of his. âYouâre quieter than usual today,â you mentioned quietly, but he just smiled softly before kissing you once more, and you shrugged it off. It wasnât unusual for Jonathan to not talk about how he felt, and you knew his job â both his real job and his criminal side job â took a major toll on his mind and body.Â
As his kisses roamed down your neck and your naked, delicate body, you felt his breath hitch.
âI donât know when my nights became so complicated,â Jonathan said softly, and you tilted your head as you looked down at him now between your thighs. He kissed between your thighs, which caused you to let out a breathless whimper, but he continued to speak softly through said kisses. âThis stays on my mind.â
âWhat?â You asked back just as softly, but your thoughts washed away as you felt him flatten his tongue up against your folds. You threw your head back as he worked his mouth, licking and lapping at your dripping core strategically, as if this was the last time heâd ever get to taste you.
Like it was the last time he could hold you, touch you, have you.
You were so lost in your pleasure that you barely noticed every time you called out his name, he barely offered a response, if any at all. An occasional hum that almost made you feel like he was acknowledging you, but then again, your mind had drifted elsewhere.Â
As Jonathan pulled away from between your thighs and wiped the back of his chin with his hand, he locked eyes with you briefly. You felt your chest tighten at the sight of those beautiful ice-blue eyes you loved so much, but before you had a moment to react, he pushed you down onto the soft, plush mattress and kissed you deeply once more.Â
You felt him reach a hand down and line himself up with your soaked entrance, and you moaned softly into the kiss as retaliation. All you could think about right now was how good Jonathan felt inside of you, the way he fucked you into oblivion every time, never rushing you or making you feel anything but wanted.
Loved.
As Jonathan pushed himself into your tight, warm, and wet cunt, the both of you moaned into the sloppy but passionate kiss. You couldnât remember the last time it felt so good, so right to have somebody inside of you like this. You couldnât remember the last time somebody loved you so perfectly.
âKeepâ keep g-going,â you whimpered against his soft lips, and you swore you saw him smile faintly as he continued to thrust himself deeper and deeper into your plush walls. You could feel the tip of his cock already brushing up against that spot inside of you, the part that felt so good it made you feel dizzy. It made you feel like you were transcending.
Like what was happening wasnât even real. Otherworldly.Â
Jonathanâs breathing was ragged, and he let out a few grunts and moans, but the room was filled with whimpers and moans, mostly coming from you. Every time you tried to say something, it felt like your body was being shocked into a different state, like you wanted to get the words out, but you couldnât.
It almost felt like there was a muzzle on your feelings â there was so much you wanted to say, but your mind couldnât quite conjure the words. Form the sentences.Â
âFuck.â You heard Jonathan whisper, and your heart fluttered â his voice was so soft, so smooth. It brought you a lot of comfort to hear it. âYou feel so good, angel. I miss youââÂ
Angel.
That was his nickname for you because he always told you that waking up beside you was like waking up in Heaven. When he first told you that, you told him it was sappy and corny, but he simply smiled at you whilst shaking his head and claiming it was âjust the truth.âÂ
You let out a sharp gasp as you felt your release sneaking up on you, and your moans became louder, desperate. âIâm so close,â you whined, but for some odd reason, you felt your eyes starting to water. Maybe the sex is just so good that it brought you to tears.
Right?
âCome,â he whispered breathlessly against your lips.
You could feel yourself building up â the peak of your climax sending a heat rush through your whole body before the feeling of stillness, and something cold snuck into your nervous system.
Your eyes screwed shut and you held him closer than ever before while trying to keep the warmth there as he continued fucking into you, and he pulled you into him as your release shook your whole body. With trembling arms and legs, you let your body go limp in his grasp as he kissed your cheek. Though your heart felt like it was set ablaze and your mind felt like it was melting into a pool of heat, your body felt cold. Everything felt cold.
He felt cold, even to the touch.Â
âI love you, Jonathan,â you whispered as tears escaped your watery eyes.
Your vision was blurred from the sudden onset of tears. Too afraid to let the fleeting feeling of him escape, you kept your eyes shut as you tried to grasp onto whatever was left in that moment, but you felt him slip through the cracks of your hands again.
No response to your words; just silence.
âJonathan?â You whimpered as you hesitantly opened your eyes, only to find no trace of him in your bed. Not even an outline of where he used to lie. This was all part of your routine â youâd been here a thousand times before.Â
Your eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room that was once warm and golden, now almost frozen in time and hollowâŚjust consumed in darkness. The bed was empty on his side, the room was cold, and the digital clock on your bedside table read 3:47 A.M.
There was no heartbeat behind you. Just yours beating faintly in your chest, now tight and almost suffocating you from the inside as reality caught up with you again. As the memories failed to catch up in the 3D with you, but rather stayed behind in the past, where memories belonged, because thatâs all you had left of him â memories.Â
Residuals.Â
You turned over in bed, still wrapped in his old shirt. The sheets are cold. The sun never came up â itâs 3:47 a.m. The rain hadnât stopped for hours, and neither had you.
You still check the door sometimes, still flinch at car lights through the window, still sleep on one side of the bed. Just in case. Your phone is face-down on the nightstand, but you grab it anyway, knowing exactly what youâll find.
The last message. Months ago. From a number that doesnât exist anymore.
"I left because I love you. I needed you safe, and I needed an out. Iâm sorry."
Youâve read it a hundred times. Maybe more.
He sent it the same night he held you like he never wanted to let go. The same night you whispered, "I love you," and he said nothing at all.
You dialed the number again, just hoping for a miracle. The three seconds of ringing felt like torture.
âThe number you have dialed is no longer in service.â
Your breath catches. You swore you could still smell him on the sheets. You curled into yourself and choked on it all â the grief, the ache, the truth.
The resentment.
He loved you. He loved you â but he still left, regardless of whether it was to keep you safe. Thatâs what you got for loving a criminal, though, no?
He left you, but the feeling didnât.
It just settled in the silence along with the residuals of what he once was.
Paring: Tommy & OC(Evelyn)-Father/daughter bond
Word Count: 3,144
Warning: This story deals with child abuse, trauma, and dark themes. Please be cautioned before reading it
Story Summary: War tainted, Tommy Shelby was slowly losing hope until he found it in the form of a young girl. Evelyn Walsh, just 8 years old, knew far too much about the cruel world they lived in. All she wanted was to be a child and all Tommy Shelby wanted was something to love, care for, and allow him to feel human once again.
This is the origin story of Evelyn Rose Shelby, the adopted daughter of Tommy Shelby.
Chapter Summary: Tommy walks Evie home and comes across the wicked witch herself, Cindy.
Links:
Ao3
Wattpad
As always, comments and reblogs are appreciated. Thank you so much and please enjoy.
Tag list: (If you want to be added or removed, please DM me. @evita-shelby @wonderlanddreamer @zablife @brummiereader @peakyswritings @rei-is-still-here @vivianleighwishesshewasme @littlemiss-arabella @cillianmurphysdimples @lavender-haze-01 @futurefamousdeadmusician @missmomof3 @copinghex
Offering to walk the girl home was questionable. The weather was temperamental, predictably, of course. Tommy sighed, pushing his gloved hands deep in his pockets, turning to the young girl. She had a poor excuse for a coat in the winter air and her feet were bare. Too close to the wet ground. He did his very best to keep at her pace. For every step he took, she took double to keep up with him. âCâmon,â he said, not unkindly, but to hurry it up slightly. But when his eyes glanced down at her, he noticed her face red and nose wet. Sighing, he paused, kneeling to her level. His gloved hands grabbed her face, attempting affection, but from the girlâs sudden wince, he cursed himself for being so rough. He loosened his grip, sighing, âwhere are your shoes?â She puffed out her cheeks, diverting her eyes off to the side, staring off in the distance. Tommy tapped her cheek. âEh!? I asked, where are your shoes, eh? Your shoes! The things you wear on yaâ feet, hm?â
The raise of his voice startled her enough that she took a few steps back, whimpering. The man sheâd felt so safe with suddenly held up to his reputation. Evie pushed his hands away and booked it up the dimly lit street. Tommy stayed kneeling for a moment, murmuring, âfookinâ âell.â Standing, he beckoned her back. âOi! Câmere, hm? Your feet! You canât walk in the rain with no shoes-oi!âÂ
The girl turned, looking at him cautiously before folding her arms over her chest. âWeâre friends, Mr. Shelby! But yaâ yellinâ at me! Friends donât go yellinâ at friends-â
âYelling?â he hollered back, baffled. He muttered, scratching the back of his head. âI wasnât yelling.â Shaking it off, he let out a long sigh of frustration. âIâm sorry, alright? No more yelling, now come back here.â
âAnd you be a bit bossy, too!â
Tommy brows raised, âwhat?â Under his breath, he said, âIâll show you fookinâ bossy.âÂ
âYeah, bossy. I dun like that very much.â He had to admit it, the girl sized him up better than most men his age. At that, he cracked a smile, chuckling to himself and rubbing his furrowed brow line. The little girl stood with a puffed chest and pouty lip. Tommy took gentle strides to her, outreaching his hand to gently hold her arm.Â
Grabbing it without squeezing too hard, he directed her up the street. He promised not to yell anymore or be too bossy, which baffled him. He never considered himself at that moment bossy or yelling. âDo you want me to carry you?â he asked, not liking that she was walking the dirty Birmingham streets with no shoes. Knowing what was on the ground made him wince for her; piss, spit, city groot, and whatever else. Tommy waited for no answer and picked the girl up, allowing her to relax her sleepy head on his shoulder. Her arms and legs clung to him, and she snuggled so deep into his body that she felt this feeling of never wanting to let go. Smoke, rum, a woodsy aroma. That was his scent. Evie took in the hugest whiff to mark it forever in her memory just in case. Just in case that itâd be the last moment sheâd ever see her friend, Thomas Shelby, again.Â
Just as he turned up her road, Evie felt her eyes get heavy. He was too comfy not to fall asleep in, but he had to let her down so they could walk up to the flat. It was a run down building that most would find hardly livable. âLead the way,â he said, nodding up the stairs and her tired little legs climbed up and up until they reached her flat. It was a tiny, worn down thing, and the lock on the door hardly worked. Tommy knocked.Â
From the other side, there was cursing and grumbling. It sounded like a man and a woman fighting. Tommy pushed his ear up to the door, and narrowed his eyes to Evie, who just shrugged. âMama donât like when people interrupt her business.âÂ
âYeah, well,â he sighed, pursing his lips, backing from the door. âBusiness has to be interrupted sometimes.â They were going at it; Cindy and the man. You said you got no fookinâ boyfriend-I donât sleep with no fookinâ slag whores with fellas. Tommy quickly wrapped his arm around the girlâs head, blocking her ears and pressing her to his side. I donât got no fucking man, I told you! Fucking get your hand off me-itâs the last time Iâm paying for your fookinâ hollowed out cunt. Tommy cursed and pounded the door harder. âOi!â he yelled, stress lines forming along his forehead and mouth,
From the other side, Cindy fought with her robe, naked underneath wearing only the grime and dirt from her work. And the man wrestled with his trousers and shirt, showing no decency in how he appeared. âHold your fuckinâ ass, Iâm cominâ!â From across the hall, an elderly lady peeked out and Evie smiled.Â
âSheâs always yelling, that one! Has men in and out faster than a bank, I tell you!â Tommy turned and nodded, unsure of what to say. The elderly woman tightened her robe and pointed to Evie. âThat one is always out all hours of the night! Causing a ruckus.â
Tommy looked down at Evie and smiled, mouthing, âa ruckus, eh?â His thumb caressed her cheek as he looked at her, his eyes twinkling with something rare for him; affection. The elderly woman hung around, waiting for the ruckus to continue, but Tommy suggested she go back inside. âYou donât want it to escalate.â When the door opened, Tommy kept his cool composure, but on the inside he cursed. Had this little one been exposed to such grotesque indecency?Â
Cindy stood there, leaning on the door frame with a cigarette between her fingers. Her face was strained. A very hollow looking woman, he had noticed. Far too thin and ragged with stress lines beyond her age. His eyes skimmed over her, her body exposed to him. It reeked of sex. Dirty, vile, filthy sex, and if his eyes werenât mistaken, there were cum trails between her thighs. When he didnât say anything, Cindy barked, âwell? What the fuck do you want? One shilling for thirty minutes, two for the full hour-â
âSheâll fuck yaâ over, though!â the man yelled, grabbing his wallet from the table. Tommy peered around her, jaw tightening. The man hardly cared to button up his trousers and if one wanted to, they could see his cock outlined in his underwear. For fucks sake, he mumbled under his breath, finding himself pulling the girl closer to himself. Tommy pulled them out of the way so the man could get by.
Cindy cursed him, glaring as he rushed down the stairs. When they were through hearing his bickering echoing up the stairwell, she faced Tommy, smirking a tad, âthough for a man like you, I can offer something special-come in.â She purred, grabbing his free arm. He flinched away.
âAre you missing something?â he asked, a strain in his voice, and Cindy paused. âHm? And fix your fucking robe!âÂ
âExcuse me?â she snorted, tightening it so he no longer saw her body. Her eyes dropped down, and Tommy felt nauseous at the way her facial expression darkened. Her eyes narrowed in a seething, dark manner and her nostrils flared. With her claw-like hands, she dug her fingers in Evieâs shirt, peeling her off Tommy. He wanted to pull her back knowing that when he left, the poor girl would have nothing to protect her. She cried out, her chubby little hands clinging to his trousers. âEvelyn Kathleen Walsh!â she yelled, kneeling and roughly gripping her jaw. Tommy winced, seeing her nails dig into the girlâs cheeks. âWhere the fuck were you? Huh?â She shook Evelynâs face. âI told you to stay in the fucking apartment! And look what you did? Caused issues-â
âShe was no issue,â Tommy said, speaking up, resting his hand on Cindyâs. He pushed it down to ease up on Evieâs jaw. âReally. I found her lost around my stables and I brought her back.â Cindy calmed, standing, nodding for Evie to head in. She pouted, looking up at Mr. Shelby.Â
âThank you, sir,â she whispered, not wanting to share him with her. She started to walk in the flat, and turned to look at him once more, offering a smile through pain. Tommy tilted his head to her, mouthing goodnight. Mouthing back, she said, âgoodnight.âÂ
Cindy yelled over her shoulder, âwash up and get to fucking bed! I donât want to hear that fucking bitch at your school about missing another day, you hear? Giving me goddamn shit because you can never do nothing fuckinâ right.â Her body leaned lazily on the frame, her legs folded as she enjoyed her cigarette. Ash flickered everywhere. âFucking kids, you know?â
Tommy sighed, rolling his eyes. âRight, kids.â
âYou got any?â she asked, looking at him. âChildren? I bet a fine man like you has a few. Married to some uppity house wife, stuck in some sexless marriage. Why else would you be hanging around here?â Tommy let her speak, keeping his blank expression firm. âHm? I could fix that for you.â Her head nodded back. âSheâll knock out in a few minutes-wonât hear a thing.â He looked in the flat, counting two doors.
âOnly one bedroom?â he said.Â
âOne bed-look, if you want a high priced whore, you donât come around here-â
âIâm not looking for a whore,â he said. âI came to return your child-â
âEvs can find her own way back,â she said. âSheâs surprisingly good at directions. Canât fucking get her to cook a damn thing or clean-â
âYou should go tuck her in,â he interrupted, taking a step back and tilting his hat, not caring to bid her a proper farewell. In his line of work, foul men were plenty, but he never saw a bitch so disgraceful. Cindy watched him turn and walked down the stairs, nursing his own cigarette to shake off the nerves.
When the cool air hit him, he looked up. The little one was staring down at him, waving, wearing a large smile. He smiled back, trying to hide the pain and worry he felt. Taking off his hat, he waved it, winking. The little one felt so much love looking at him. Her smile was so big, her cheeks balled up like a chipmunk. But it dropped when she looked over her shoulder and quickly closed the window, drawing the curtains. âFucking hell,â he whispered to himself.Â
The next day, she took her drawing book to the canal, skipping off school. Stuffed in her pocket was some stale bread. Her little duck friends knew to join around her because she always had a thing or two for them. She sat, legs crossed. âOkay, one for you, Poe,â she said, letting the duck eat from her hand. âAnd one for you, and one for you.â Left in her hand was a small bit and she put it in her mouth. âAnd one for Evie.â She started to set up her âstationâ of a notebook and some crayons. One of the ducks walked over it, and she whined, âQuakers! No! We have business to do.âÂ
She started to draw. Now, the little one was no artist. Her drawings werenât going in a gallery, but she loved it anyway. She started with a girl wearing a school uniform, humming to herself. When she finished the hair, she said, âthis is Evie!â Next, she drew three happy ducks. âQuakers, that is you!â She lifted the picture and squinted. âHmmm!â She looked back at the duck and back at her painting. âI didnât get your good angleâŚIâm sorry.â And that is Poe and this is Diddle because he has a brown spot on his mouth.
Right next to her, holding her hand, she drew a man with a flat cap hat, and above him she wrote Mr. Shellbee. And when she was done, she tucked away her supplies. âOkay, fellas, I have to go, but Iâll bring yaâ something tomorrow!â The ducks walked around here, occasionally plucking at the ground for anything they could find. Evie turned her jumper pockets inside out to brush out the crumbs before skipping off.
The Garrison wasnât too far off, but by the time she got there, she was winded. It was the pub she saw him come out of the day prior. With no mind, she pushed open the doors and rushed in, looking around. It was hitting noon time, and only a few men lingered about. All perked and looked at the girl, and the man at the bar called to her, leaning over the counter with folded hands. âOi! This isnât no place for no little girls, yeah!â Evie looked over at him, frowning. âWhat do you want?â he asked, not unkindly, wiping his hands on his apron.
She hopped to the bar, and kneeled on the stool to see properly over the bar. âIâm looking for Mr. Shelby-â
The man narrowed his eyes. âWhich one?â
âThereâs more?!â Blinking, she looked around before getting out her drawinging. Grunting as she flattened it out. Along the journey, it had gotten a little crinkled. I should have kept it in my drawing book. âThat one!â she pointed and the gentleman squinted, making a face. Before him was a stick figure wearing what he assumed to be a three piece suit, a flat cap, and a cigarette between his fingers.Â
âHmm, well, I donât know,â he said, holding the picture up and looking around at the back. On a table, there was a man slouched, already too many drinks in. âIs it that one?â
Evie shook her head, giving him a look. âNuh uh!â Motioning to the picture, she added, âdoes he look like he has a mustache?â
âI suppose not,â he replied, chuckling to himself. âYou stay right there, hm? Iâll be right back.â The girl had a little spunk to her, heâd give her that. He put the picture down and went in the back. She heard some talking and through some double doors, Mr. Shelby came through and she slid off the chair.
âMr. Shelby! Mr. Shelby!â she yelled, clinging the picture to the chest. Tommy kneeled, meeting the girl to eye level. âI made you this-â
âWhat are you doing here?â he asked, hands on her shoulders. Evie froze, her heart shrinking just a tad as she watched the lines in his face stress. He was giving her a hardened look and the pressure on her shoulders wasnât so nice, either. She went small; quiet and her face dropped all signs of happiness. Tommy admitted to himself, seeing that girl pout like that, looking at him like she did that wretched woman, made him feel ill.
âIâm sorry,â she said, folding the picture and tucking away under her jumper. Tommy eased up, bowing his head slightly.Â
âThe pub isnât safe for girls,â he said, relaxing his expression, his hand cradling her cheek. It was cold; rosy red and flushed. Her little nose dribbled, and he wasnât sure if she was trying to sniff it back up or stop herself from crying. In his pocket was a clean handkerchief. Plucking it out, he dabbled around her nose before squeezing lightly. Helping a child blow the snot from her nose wasnât on his list for the day, but there they were. âBlow, come on, blow it out!â Evie puffed out her cheeks and blew her nose while Tommy cleaned it up. Folding it up, he tucked it away.
âI drew you a picture,â she said, having a hard time looking at him. He smiled, leaning his face in, tilting it up to catch her eyes. His hands fell to her arms, rubbing circles with thumbs. She took it out and unfolded it. âI donât like it. I forgot Mr. Shelbyâs horse-â
Before she could hide it away, Tommy took it, holding it with a firm grip. It was a lovely picture, he thought. Really captured his personality with the cigarette and the stress winkles. He pointed to the ducks, âand those are your friends.â
âYeah,â she said, leaning on him to look at the picture with him. âAnd me and you. And in the back is the beach and bridge.â Tommy snorted that the thought of the canal being considered a beach.Â
âWell, it doesnât need the horse,â he said, deciding as he tucked it away. âHe doesnât like his picture drawn anyway. Has too many bad angles.â As he stood, he groaned, stretching a bit before kindly placing his hand on her back, pushing her towards the door. âNow, Evelyn, you shouldnât come in here, understand?âÂ
She pouted, stopping right before he could shove her out. Looking up at him with round eyes. âBut weâre friends. How can I see you?â Tommyâs brows raised and hummed, thinking back to the previous night. He settled with, you can always run to the stables. Even when Iâm not there, Iâm always in the stables. Her mouth gaped and her eyes balled. Leaning in, she whispered, âSister Stefana says ghost talk ain't so nice. You talkinâ the devil that way, Mr. Shelby.â
He pinched her chin, amused. âI think the Devilâs too scared to come to Birmingham.â
âSome people say youâre the Devil, but I donât think the Devil kisses his horses like you do-â
âWell, to be the Devil, you have to be an angel. I donât think I was ever one of those.â
Evie giggled and motioned for him to get real close, to put his ear to her mouth. She cupped her mouth and whispered, âdo you also steal the loose jellies from the sweets shop?â
Exaggerating, Tommy widened his eyes and gave her a shocked look with a gasp. âDo you!?â Evie laughed and put her finger to her lips. With a pointed look, he said, âyou better be careful, eh? Now, go on, hm? Be a good girl!â Opening the door, he watched as she ran off. This time in shoes, but they were ragged and torn. Probably she would have been just well off barefoot. Tommy kept his gaze on her until she was no longer in sight. âAh, fucking hell,â he whispered, not cursing, but just as a release of emotions. He turned, scratching the back of his neck and when he looked up, John and Arthur were giving him quite a look of perplexity. He dropped the soft face and barked, âfuck off, eh? Believe it or not, I do have more ranges of emotions than a wall fly!â
Slowly blinking, Tommy adjusted to the sunlight filtering into the room. He was wrapped tightly around a warm body. Both arms tucked around your waist, one hand resting between your breasts. One leg was entwined with one of your legs, twisted around each other. Your back tucked into his chest, he could feel your heart beating.
Fuck.....
He was in too deep, he had allowed himself to be sucked in. Way toooo deep. Rule number one... don't get attached. He had no time for a woman and enough to worry about. Enough people to protect, he didn't need another one adding to the list. He was a busy man; he had responsibilities. Businesses, family, no.... fuck he didn't need this stress.
Why had he stayed over at your place again? How many nights in a row was this? Why had he been seeing you constantly? Seeking you out? Thinking about you, imagining your smile, how your nose creased when you laughed. He loved your laugh, no fuck⌠not love no way.
You were a distraction, that was all. He couldn't take his eyes off the ball. Couldn't get swept away with a woman. He had other priorities.
How had you done it? Lured him in like this? It was pissing him off! Had you cursed him? Did you have some sort of spell on him? He had even been taking you on fucking dates!! Dates!!! What the fuck, Tommy? He didnât date, he fucked and then chucked them out.
No... he needed to stop this now. He had business to attend to.
Billy Kimber to deal with, police sniffing around.
He was busy and needed to be focused.
Sighing, he let himself take a deep inhale. Why did your hair have to smell so fucking good? Like fresh flowers in the field, reminding him of when he was out riding his horse. And your skin⌠it was so soft, so kissable. He had traced every part of your skin with his lips.
Tommy began to feel angrier the more he thought about it. How had he let himself become so weak?! He had to get up, get dressed, and escape. Then, he would just turn all of these strange feelings off. Revert to being cold and distant.
If he was mean enough and pushed you away, you would take the hint. He was single, and the best way to get over someone was to get under them. Lizzie would happily oblige. He would just fuck around, get you out of his system.
It was the only way.
You shifted slightly next to him, letting out a little moan as you got comfortable. Why did that make his chest feel strange? His heart was fucking fluttering. Fluttering!! How did that happen? he left his heart in France, he was sure of it.
Your small hand entwined with his, as you snuggled closer. And fuck!! His cock went against all of his thoughts, and got hard. NoâŚ. No ⌠not now. He had just psyched himself up into leaving. No way was he gonna end up like John. Married with a tribe of kids!
No thank you!
He would let himself hold you for five more minutes, and then leave. Just five, that wouldnât hurt. He just had to block his thoughts out of his head. Stop overthinking. He had made the right decision, he had to do what was right. What was best for him.
And finishing this now, before it went too far, was the best option. He had to do it now, today, as soon as possible. Just man up and do it. In .... four minutes... just four more.
Bending his head, he sniffed your hair again. Wishing he could bottle the smell, it seemed to calm him. You seemed to calm him; he had been stressed yesterday. After a meeting with Campbell, you had calmed him down. Without even trying.
You were just there, just held him, kissed him. Talked to him, without asking too many questions. He hated questions. You were smart, you knew not to delve too far into his personal affairs.
âAre you smelling my hair?â You asked with a giggle, voice still sounding tired.
âNope,â he lied, letting his fingers drift along your cleavage. He loved your breasts, just more than a handful. Made to fit into his palm, with the most suckable rose pink nipples.
Why couldnât life just be this simple? Just pause this moment, laying in bed together. In peace ⌠in happinessâŚ
âLiar,â you laughed, leaning back to look into his eyes. His sparkling blue orbs staring straight back at you. Though he had a slight frown creasing his brow. His grip on your waist tightened, as he bent to kiss your full lips.
You rocked your hips against his, rolling your ass over his erection. âI... erm... I need to go,â he breathed out through a hiss. Wanting to sink inside of you, just one last time⌠But even he thought that would be a total dick move. He didnât want to use you like that. You deserved better.
âOk,â you breathed out, trying to hide the disappointment from your voice.
You wanted him to stay, to hold you, kiss you, let your bodies mould together. Turning in his arms, you looked up at him. Attempting to read his expression. He seemedâŚ.
Angry? Confused, maybe? He was hard to read, maybe he was just tired. You both didn't get much sleep last night.
Propping up on your elbows, you hovered over him. Letting your nose rub against his, with a smile. His fingers caressed lightly along your jaw, before gripping your chin. And pulling you in for a searing kiss. It soon turned passionate, hands exploring skin.
Like he was kissing you for the last timeâŚ
âFuck,â he muttered before pulling away.
Throwing his legs over the side of the bed, his head falling to his chest. Fingers raking through his hair. Before reaching for his beloved cigarettes, lighting one, he inhaled, blowing the smoke up to the ceiling.
âTalk to me ⌠whatâs wrong, Tommy?â You questioned, shuffling toward him. The sheet wrapped around your body, shielding you from the cool morning air.
Pulling his underwear on, he stood up. Searching around the room for his clothes, as he took another drag from his cigarette. Your question was left hanging in the air, remaining unanswered. His cold glare met yours.
Catching your eye and quickly looking away, he began to pull his trousers on.
âI ⌠canât do this,â he finally spoke, cigarette hanging from between his lips.
You felt like you had been slapped, visibly shrinking back. I can't do this, you knew what that meant. But still, you felt you had to ask. Taking a moment to think, you looked back up at him.
"Do what?" Eyes flicking back to you, he extinguished the cigarette in a glass next to your bed.
"This," he replied, gesturing between you both with his outstreched palm.
âUs, ey... this... thing... whatever this is,"
A lump formed in your throat, do not cry, do not fucking cry, Y/n. Grabbing his shirt, he slid his left arm into it. Clearly focused on getting dressed and leaving here as soon as he could.
"Oh..." slipped from your lips.
Oh?! Seriously, Y/n, was that all you could say? Oh!! Idiot!!! So the past few months had been for nothing? He had wasted your time? You didn't mean anything to him?
Nothing at all?
Pausing, Tommy looked at your face. You seemed stunned, confused, and your eyes were watery. No... don't fucking cry, please don't cry. He couldn't see you upset, couldn't leave you here crying. He would have to give in and comfort you. Stroke your hair, and promise he will make it better.
"I... I don't have time for anything, for this," he gestured again with his palm. "I'm busy, and well, we had fun, yeah?" Tucking his shirt into his trousers, he waited for you to answer.
"Fun?" you scoffed, slipping from the bed. The thin sheet barely covering your body. "That's what last night was, a last bit of fun? Before you threw me away?" Tommy scrunched his eyebrows together.
"You didn't have to stay over, you could have just left after you came inside me," You spat bitterly, walking across the room.
Just go, you prayed, just leave. You would not break down in front of him.
One minute, he was spending all of his spare time with you. Wining and dining you, spending the night, then now? He was too busy? Fuck him! Hearing him shuffling around behind you, you poured a glass of water in your kitchen.
"Y/n ... listen... It's not you," he began, crossing the room to stand behind you. âDonât think that,â
Spinning around, you physically pushed him away. "Do not say, it's not you, it's me," you snarled, wanting to laugh out loud at this turn of events. "At least own it, Tommy. You are bored with me, plain and simple."
That was so far from the truth, but he couldn't admit that.
It would only make this harder.
"I'm... fuck ⌠that's not," he couldn't even vocalise how to explain his feelings.
"Just go," you warned, pointing to the door. Your voice shaking with emotion. Tommy took another step... "Go!" you screamed, tears streaming down your face.
Sighing, he lowered his head and walked away. Leaving you absolutely shattered....
Tommy felt like he had never been so exhausted. It had now been five days since you had gone missing. He hadn't slept, just sat watching you tossing and turning all night. After finding you with the toothbrush yesterday, he had managed to talk you into resting back in bed. Forced some fluids down you, and some soup. That was a start.
You hadn't said a word for the rest of the day. When it was dark, he had just sat in the corner of the room watching you. He managed to drift off, then jerk himself back awake. Scared that you would harm yourself. He had spoken to Polly last night, and she suggested getting you some help. Someone you could talk to, who wasn't involved. Someone with experience.
He would wait a few more days, before he had the conversation.
With a steaming mug of chamomile tea, Tommy jogged back upstairs. He had left you sleeping as he went to check his work emails. All he wanted to do was drive to Camden, and put a bullet through that fuckers head. But, he couldn't leave you alone not yet, you needed him more than ever.
"Y/n, you awake?" he asked, pushing the door open, revealing your lavish bedroom. You had opened the shutters, revealing sunlight streaming through. The bed was now made, and scatter cushions were lined up just as you liked them. And the shower was running. "Ok..." he whispered, unsure of his next move.
This was good, right? You were up, moving around.
Placing your tea down, Tommy popped his head into the bathroom. You were still in the shower. He paused as he took in the sight of you before him. To him, you were still just as beautiful as ever. He admired the way the droplets of water ran across your curves, following the line of your perfectly round ass.
Reaching up, you began to rinse your hair, feeling aware of his presence. When the door opened further, your head snapped over your shoulder. "It's Tommy... just Tommy, your husband, he would never hurt you. It's ok." You repeated the mantra in your head over and over.
"It's ok," you whispered out loud, as you bowed your head. Feeling every nerve ending on your skin prickle. His eyes on you, making you feel uneasy. Just Tommy... Just Tommy....
"I made you some tea," Tommy spoke up, reaching for a warm, fluffy towel to hand you as you turned the shower off.
"Oh, thanks," you replied, taking the towel from his grasp. Whipping it around your body and tightening it in lightning speed. You were covered now, he couldn't see you. Silence descended between you, Tommy just staring at you. Hovering nervously.
"I'm... erm... going into work," you announced, sweeping past him and heading for your walk-in closet.
"What?!" he gasped, "Work? You can't, Y/n. Not yet, you aren't ready." Now he was stood behind you, as you flicked through your clothes. Awaiting a response.
"Y/n?" Reaching up, he rested a firm hand on your shoulder.
Your gaze moved from the clothes, to his hand and back again. He quickly took it away, moving back.
Taking a deep breath, you slowly released it before taking a small step toward him. Then pausing with one more step, you wrapped your arms around him. The side of your cheek resting against his muscular chest.
Fingers gripping his shirt, taking slow calming breaths. Just letting him hold you. Trying to slow your heart rate. "I need some normality," you whispered against him. "Just a few hours."
Tommy drove you to work, and decided to work in the office next to yours. Just so he could keep an eye on you, while giving you space. He had warned the whole of Shelby Company Limited, not to talk to you about what happened. Just to treat you how they always would.
âMrs Shelby?â A voice spoke from somewhere, âMrs Shelby,â Snapping your gaze away from the calculator, you looked to the doorway at Rosa your assistant. âSorry, your phone was ringing,â she answered, pointing to the office phone.
âOh,â was all you answered, shifting in your chair. Wishing she would go away, she hovered in the doorway. Just looking at you, why was she looking at you? She knows, the voice in your head spoke up.
She knows, youâve been used, youâve been with other men.
Youâre a dirty slut.
A cheat....
Your palms were sweating, breath quickening. You wanted Tommy, needed him to calm you. Where was he? Still, she just stood there ... looking at you... staring at you...
âWhat?!â You snapped, holding your hands up. âWhy are you looking at me like that?â Your voice was rising.
âJust ⌠just standing there and staring at me! Don't stare at me.â
Tommy appeared in the doorway, standing beside Rosa. âSheâs ⌠sheâs just staring at me,â you told him, pointing at the younger woman. As Rosa visibly cowered. âI know what youâre thinking,â
âI .. I was just waiting for the month end report,â she stuttered, âYou emailed me to come and get it, Mrs Shelby. I wasnât staring, honestly.â
Tommy placed a hand on her shoulder guiding her out, you heard him telling her to go and take a break. Before he walked back in, heading for you with his arms wide. Ready to take you into his embrace and comfort you. Without saying a word, you walked to him and let him hold you.
Squeezing your eyes closed so tightly. You were so tired or crying, so tired of feeling like a victim.
Your mind was constantly racing, wondering if someone was going to come for you again. Just appear and drag you away. Put that... that... cloth over your mouth. You could still taste it, could still feel your legs turning to jelly.
Would you ever be safe again? Would you ever feel safe enough, to go to your favorite local coffee shop and read your book? Just something that simple. To go anywhere on your own, or would you always feel like a prisoner?
"Baby, your phone is ringing," Tommy spoke gently, reaching over to retrieve it from your desk. Frowning at the title on your screen ... NO CALLER ID... Without even asking you, he answered it. Asking who it was, beginning to pace the room.
Before turning back to you and handing you the phone.
"It's DI Walker," he informed you, taking your elbow and easing you into your office chair.
"Hello," you answered, your eyes not leaving Tommy's. He noticed your expression change as you listened. "Yes, I understand," Was all you said, before placing the phone back onto the desk.
You didn't know how to feel, after hearing the conversation.
Blinking slowly, you looked back to Tommy. "They've arrested them," You watched the anger flash through Tommy's eyes, before he masked it. "Alfie," you coughed, almost feeling like you were choking on his name. It felt like a bitter taste in your mouth.
âHim, and his men,"
Tommy nodded, grinding his teeth so hard it looked like his jaw would snap. Before smiling the fakest smile you had ever seen, and bending to kiss the top of your head.
âYeah? That's good, ey?" he spoke, seeming to need your reassurance, "That's good, that's... yeah,"
Standing again, he squeezed your hand. "I will be right back, baby, ok?" It was taking everything in him to remain calm. He had a plan, a fucking plan to grab them. To retaliate, to seek his own revenge. Make them all fucking suffer.
Now... it had been pulled from his hands.
Why did he listen to Polly and wait? He should have just fucking driven straight to Camden and dealt with it.
Charging along the corridor, he pushed open the nearest men's bathroom. "Fuck!!!!" he yelled, at the top of his voice. He punched the mirror, feeling the blood from his knuckles splash across the shattered glass. Yet, he felt no pain.
Next, he repeatedly kicked the bin, stamping on it, as the contents spilled across the tiles.
"Mother fucker!" He yelled, out of breath. "I will have my ..."
Kick.... kick... kick....
âDay with you!".......
Note-
Tommy is torn, trying to be there for his wife and also wanting revenge.
Ask sent by @holacia3 sparkled the imagination for this little story, I hope you enjoy it!
âWe need to talk.â Y/N stepped into his office abruptly.
Under normal circumstances, Robert would ask her to leave and say they could talk later once he arrived home.
But there was something in her eyes that he didnât like, something indescribable in her voice and glance that didnât match the unconditional love she always professed.
Dismissing his secretary, Robert nodded for Y/N to come in, assuring his assistant heâd continue checking what they were working on later.
He was about to ask her what was wrong, but when his eyes found hers. He already knew.
âI canât keep going like this Robert.â
Robert. Damn he was in trouble. She never called like by his full name.
âIâve been patient and Iâve waited as my grandma advised⌠but Iâm running out of time and weâre still in the same phase since forever.â
He was about to try to calm her, he was about to propose a time away in the ski resort she suggested long time ago. But Robert didnât have time because Y/N had already made up her mind.
âWeâre done. I want to end our relationship for good, this is it.â
âY/N.â He stood up and tried to grab her hand, but she janked it off his touch.
âI mean it. I canât wait for something Iâm not even sure will come one day, I was so convenient for you because I never asked you for anything. And the only thing I wanted⌠you were never able to open up your heart. And I know you never will.â
Y/N tried to control her voice. It was heartbreaking, but it was the right thing to do.
Robert stood there with his hands inside his pockets with a tense posture, his jaw clenching. Unable to react, there was nothing he could do or say to convince you he wanted the same.
He couldnât even fight to stop you.
âYou know why I donât want to get married.â He whispered. Feeling attacked because he always kept his feelings locked away.
âAnd what about what I want?â She snapped.
âYou knew my thoughts about it since the beginning, I never lied to you, Y/N.â
âI thought youâd change your mind.â She tried to leave the door open for him to do something. She wanted Robert to fight for her.
For once.
âI have to do everything all the time,â she pointed out, âhave to find free time in your agenda for a dinner on a Friday night, I buy my own flowers because you canât be bothered to schedule a fucking delivery.â
Robert took a step back. He had a meeting soon.
Tiredly he rubbed his eyes with his fingers and pinched the bridge of his nose.
âI see it now, you canât even try to do the bare minimum to make this work. I hope you are actually happy. Perhaps in another life.â
You loved your family. You did. But they were just soâŚmuch.
Your miscellany of siblings loved you just as you loved them in return, but they barely gave you enough room to breathe. Your twin Tommy was the worst of lot, and unfortunately for you, he was also in charge of your family, despite Arthur being the oldest. It was no surprise really that you ran off to make your own life in London not long after the boys returned from the war. You just needed peace. Needed to breathe.
One rainy morning a few months after youâd moved to the city, you were hurrying along the sidewalk, glancing over your shoulder as you went. The innate Shelby paranoia still impossible to shake no matter your distance from home.
âOi, watch where youâre going!â The low, rich voice brought you out of your head as you snapped your attention forward.
A large man in a heavy coat, his hat casting a shadow across his features, stood before you. His eyes were sharp as they locked on yours. You sucked in a breath as his very presence filled the air around you with an intensity you hadnât felt from anyone but Tommy. The strangerâs lips curled into a half-smirk as he took you in.
âApologies,â you said. âDidnât see you there.â
That smirk only grew as he tipped his hat in a gesture of mock civility. âAlfie Solomons at your service. And might I have the pleasure of your name?â
You introduced yourself and were surprised at the flicker of recognition in his eyes. Of course, the first man who piqued your interest would be familiar with your family.
After a beat, Alfie stepped to the side to allow you to pass. âLovely to meet you, Miss Shelby.â A gentle hand on your elbow stopped you as you moved past him. âIt is Miss, isnât it?â
A genuine smile curved your lips. âGuess youâll just have to find out, Mr. Solomons.â
You had gone months after you moved to London without ever seeing Alfie Solomons but after that morning, scarcely a week would go by without the two of you running into one another. Around the fifth random encounter, Alfie asked you to dinner. One date turned into two and so on until scarcely a day went by without you seeing one another.
One quiet afternoon, you were getting ready to go out when a heavy knock sounded on your door. You answered to find Alfie standing on the stoop. You frowned as you pulled him inside. âAre you okay? Youâre early and you look exhausted.â
âOh, Love, you have no idea. Pour me a drink, would you?â He kissed your temple before making his way to your sofa and dropping onto it. He took the glass from you and pulled you down to sit beside him. âWe need to talk.â
You nodded but stayed quiet, waiting for him to speak.
âI need your help with something, love.â
âOf course, Alfie. You know Iâll help you however I can.â Heâd never been this hesitant to talk with you and you couldnât help but worry.
Before he could say another word, your front door crashed open. You shot to your feet as your three oldest brothers strode into your home. âHave you lost all the sense God gave you, Thomas Shelby?â you snapped. âWho gave you permission to burst into my home without knockinâ? I know you were raised better even if you donât act like it half the damn time.â
Tommy rolled his eyes. âJust calm down, alright? We were in town, thought weâd stop by to check on you. Seems like a wise decision.â His gaze moved from you to Alfie as he rose to his feet beside you.
âWhat are you doing here, Solomons?â Arthur asked in his usual gruff tone, his eyes darting between you and your man.
âWell, I was invited, Shelby. Which is more than I can say for you as she didnât even know you were in town.â Alfie shifted your position so he was between you and your brothers. As if theyâd ever hurt you.
âThought weâd come to an agreement that you would stay the hell away from our sister,â Tommy said.
Alfie huffed. âI agreed to nothing of the sort.â
You scowled at your brothers, mainly Tommy. âWhy do you think this is even up for discussion? Itâs none of your business who I spend my time with. I thought me leaving home would have finally gotten that through your thick heads. Guess I was wrong.â
âOut of the entirety of London, you just happened to end up with Solomons? You expect us to believe thatâs a coincidence?â Arthur argued, trying to make you see sense.
You put your hands on your hips. âAnd just what is that supposed to mean?â
âOh, come on,â John said with a sneer. âHeâs only sleeping with you to get in good with us. Even an idiot could see that.â
Alfieâs body tensed, the insult a step too far for the man that had always treated you with the utmost respect. In a blink, Alfieâs fist connected with Johnâs jaw. The crack of the impact echoed off the walls. Chaos erupted in its wake as the men leapt at each other, fists flying.
âAlfie!â You yelled his name, terrified the fight would cause his injuries from the war to act up. Terrified your brothers would take it too far as they were wont to do when it came to you and Ada. Terrified that the love of your life was trying to hold his own against three of your brothers who were no stranger to brawling when it suited them.
âStop it! Enough!â But your words were lost in the noise of their battle. You pushed through the tangle of limbs, trying to pry them apart. John stumbled back, panting as he swiped blood from underneath his nose. Tommy stepped aside when he realized you were in the middle of the fray, one hand reaching to pull you to safety.
But Arthur was lost in the violence, as he often was, and Alfie was doing his best to protect himself without harming you. Arthur swung wide, his fist arcing toward Alfie when your world suddenly spun as an elbow caught your temple. A burst of pain bloomed across your vision. A cry tore from your throat as you stumbled back, warmth trickling down the side of your face.
Tommy grabbed Arthur by the back of his coat and flung him away. âFucking Stop. Look what you did,â he demanded, gesturing toward you. âLook!â he yelled when Arthur just looked confused.
When your older brother caught sight of your injury his eyes went wide. He moved toward you and you stepped back.
âStop.â Your voice was low, quiet, hurt evident in your tone. âJust stay away from me.â
Your brothers listened, but Alfie pushed aside his own pain to move to your side. His handkerchief was pressed tightly to your temple and you hissed in pain. You took it from him before you stepped away from him as well.
âDidnât mean to hurt you, sweetheart. You know that,â Arthur said, a begging tone to his words. âIâd never hurt you.â His fists flexed at his sides as if he didnât know what to do with them if he wasnât swinging them at something.
You swayed on your feet, your head filled with pain and irritation at the men in front of you. All four of them. âGet out. All of you. Just go.â
âCome on, love. Letâs get you patched up,â Tommy said, ignoring your demand as he moved toward you. You stepped away from him.
âNo. You come into my home acting like a street rat, brawling in my living room without so much as a by your leave. Alfie takes care of me. He loves me and has been nothing but a perfect gentleman the entire time weâve been seeing each other.â You huffed a breath of irritation as tears stung your eyes. âBut you donât care about that. You didnât even ask me about him before youâre threatening him with god knows what.â
Tommy said your name, trying to get you to calm down, to listen. Heâd never been able to stand your tears, even less so when he was the cause of them.
You shook your head, wincing at the pain the motion brought with it. âJust go. Please. I canât do this right now.â
A flicker of doubt crossed Tommyâs features before he gave you a nod. âAlright, love. Weâll go. Iâm sorry for this, but Iâm not sorry for protecting you. Iâll always protect you.â
You snorted in disbelief. âKnock out job you did this time, Tom.â
He pursed his lips but said nothing else before pushing his brothers toward the door as they muttered their own apologies. He stood with the door open, waiting for Alfie to come with the rest of them. Alfieâs heavy gaze moved between you and your brother for a moment before he grabbed his things.
As he passed, he paused long enough to kiss your uninjured temple. âGoodnight, Love.â
With that they were gone and hopefully this whole fiasco was over. Of course, it was just as likely theyâd moved the brawl somewhere else and continued pummeling the hell out of each other. You felt like you should care more about that, but you really didnât. You slumped onto the sofa as tears slipped from your eyes. Why couldnât they just let you be happy for once?
***
When the knock came shortly after dawn the next morning, you were already prepared for the day. Sleep had been hard to come by as you ran every possible scenario through your head. You figured one of the men in your life would appear first thing today, attempting to make amends. The question was which one. When you opened the door to find your Alfie, relief flooded through you. You werenât ready to deal with your brothers just yet. If you were lucky, theyâd headed home and youâd be spared their presence for a while yet.
âWhy are you here, Alfie?â you said in lieu of greeting the contrite looking man on your stoop.
âI had to make sure you were alright.â
You studied him in silence, wondering what he thought of you now that heâd had to deal with your brothers. The Shelbys were a fucked up family, but they were your fucked up family.
âCan I come in?â he asked when you just continued to look at him. âPlease, love. Just for a moment.â
âWasnât sure youâd open the door,â Alfie admitted as you stepped back to let him in. His rough voice wrapped around you, comforting you as it always did.
âAlmost didnât,â you admitted.
He grasped your chin lightly and turned your head so he could inspect your temple, wincing as he saw the bruising. âIâm sorry about last night, love. I should not have done that.â
You huffed a laugh. âWhat? Punch my idiot brother when he ran his mouth off like usual?â You shrugged. âIt wasnât the first time John has been punched and it certainly wonât be the last.â
Alfie tsked and stepped away to pace the floor. âIâm not sorry for teaching him to watch his mouth when it comes to you, but I should not have done that in your home. Your sanctuary. I should have dragged his sorry arse outside first.â
You watched him worry for a moment then moved over to sit on the sofa. âYou might as well get it over with,â you finally said.
He turned with a frown. âWhat do you mean, love?â
âGo ahead and tell me weâre done. That it was fun while it lasted but my brothers are just a bit much. That business comes first. That Iâm not worth the hassle.â You waved a hand through the air as if it wasnât important. As if your heart wasnât breaking. âIâve heard it all before or some version of it anyway.â
Alfie immediately moved to your side and took your hand in his before kissing the back of it. âEnough of that, now. Iâm not going anywhere.â
âWhat?â The word was little more than a breath.
His smile was warm as he said your name. âIâm not going anywhere, love. Your brothers are not going to scare me off, a fact I made rather clear to them when we left here last night. I love you with every bit of me and I will stand by your side until you tell me to piss off yourself, family be damned.â
It took you a long moment of studying his features, looking for any lie before you threw your arms around his neck and pulled him to you. He immediately returned the hug as he kissed your cheek. When you pulled away, you grinned at him. âI love you, Alfie Solomons and there will be no getting rid of me, Iâm afraid. Family be damned.â
I have no clue how to link this to part one from my phone so I apologize for that and if this is awful. No clue on word count.
Tw: death, violence, language possibly others I missed so read at your own discretion.
"Tommy" y/n whispers in his ear. "It's ok, you're home and safe." He wakes up, and swears he feels his sister's head on his shoulder, the reassuring warmth she always provided when the nightmares became too much, when he could swear the Germans were going to burst through the walls of his room. He never called out, but she seemed to know when it became too much, when he couldn't fight back the terror anymore and would be there to help him do battle with the demons in his head, still a child but she could read her brother so well.
His eyes fully opened and he took in his surroundings. He wasn't in his old room on Watery Lane, he was alone in his office in Arrow house. He took to sleeping in there now, unable to sleep next to the wife he blamed for robbing him of the last year he could have spent with his sister. Deep down he knew she wasn't completely to blame, he made choices that he'd never forgive himself for, never be able to apologize for, never be able to repair.
His morning routine began as it had every day since he began sleeping inside again, a compromise made in an effort to save his marriage and be a good father for his son. His sister had given her life for him to keep Grace in his life after all, for Charlie to have both his parents under the same roof. So he got up, went into the dining room to have breakfast with his wife and son, or at least pretend to eat something so there was one less fight between Grace and him.
Grace, for her part was trying very hard to be understanding and supportive. She avoided the rest of the Shelbys, knowing they all carried a heavy dose of resentment towards her along with their own guilt over the past events that led to a loss no one was coping with very well. There was a cruel irony in her lies being carried out to ensure her place in the family and with one act of violence that place now being more perilous than she ever could have imagined.
In the immediate aftermath of the shooting there had been a brief moment of hope. They had all gathered in the waiting room, each lost in their own memories and self-recrimations. Y/N had been rushed into surgery, Michael having taken a surprising stand to ride in the ambulance with her as one of the few family members she'd been close to still. He won that battle because everyone had hope if she saw him she'd feel safe and loved since most of them had failed in giving her that reassurance for so long.
Tommy had been unable to drive but fortunately Finn had and they arrived almost as soon as the ambulance had, but been barred from following her since they would be in the way. Shortly after the room had been filled with Shelbys. Grays and close friends, all quiet until the surgeon came out and broke the news none of them could handle. Too much damage, too much blood loss, there had been no bringing back their girl.
Her funeral had been both beautiful and heartbreaking. Even if a majority of her family had turned their back on her, that didn't mean she wasn't cherished by others. Her brothers and Aunt held themselves together long enough to say the final goodbye, Grace wasn't sure if any of them had been sober. Tommy had disappeared as soon as it was over, coming back home a week later but only acknowledging Charlie. When the silence became more than she could handle Grace finally sat him down to beg for some sort of decision on their marriage. A compromise had been reached, he'd eat breakfast and dinner with them, but sleep in his office and try to sort out his head.
Everyday felt the same as the one before. He'd force himself to give Grace a kiss on the head, pick Charlie up for a quick hug, then leave for work. The Russian business had been such a pain in the ass before but now it kept his mind busy and he strangely welcomed it. For a brief moment he could push his guilt and grief to the back of his mind and focus on the complex machinations involved in that mess.
Family relations were strained, everyone blamed themselves and each other for not seeing through Grace"s lies, and not protecting y/n better.
They got their revenge, Tommy had been hellbent on maiming, torturing and killing "the old man" and killing his wife, but John and Arthur were more merciful in memory of their sister. She wouldn't have wanted Mrs. Changretta killed, and would have taken no delight in anyone being tortured in her name. For once they were going to do right by her, and deep down they hoped she'd know and understand it was their way of apologizing.
Michael missed the afternoons he had his cousin with him, while she did her homework and they joked around. He was adjusting but still caught himself talking to her about the girl he was seeing, especially his panic now that she was pregnant. He could almost hear y/n giving him advice or cracking a joke.
Ada would catch herself almost buying dresses her sister would love, or waiting for her to take the train to London to get a break from the hostility at home. Kids have no object permanence so it always hurt explaining to Karl that Auntie y/n loved him bur sadly couldn't come visit anymore because she died. He'd understand for a few days then ask again.
Finn no longer looked up to his brothers like he used to, seeimg how they all behaved before, a part of him resenting their grief now, like they were so close to her when they'd all but abandoned her until proof was given she was worthy of their love again. Uncle Charlie could try and insist all he wanted that they loved her all along, Finn would never fully forgive them.
Polly pushed all guilt and pain down and carried on like nornal until she'd get home. Then she'd go upstairs to her niece's room and just sit, letting herself feel the pain and surround herself with all the memories and regret. While in the middle of her nightly ritual she opened her drawers, looking for something small she could carry with her every day to feel y/n's presence and came across her journal. After some extra liquid courage she sat and read it. She tore out the last entry, then carefully put the book back where it went, her drunk mind wanting to respect her niece's space
The next day Polly walked into the betting shop with purpose. She took out the last pages of y/n"s journal and hung them up for all to see. Throughout the day, every Shelby saw and felt the pain written on those pieces of paper and processed them in their own way.
The entry was a list of y/n's goals for her life after her 18th birthday. Her dreams of moving away from Small Heath, living in London and starting over. She wanted to become a teacher, give out love and knowledge to children since she understood how powerless they felt and wanted her classroom to a be a haven of acceptance and encouragement, no matter what their life at home was like. She mentioned wanting her name cleared, but knew that would never happen and accepted she'd never have her full family back, but she'd have the memories of happier times in case she ever felt lonely. She'd get married someday, and give her children the life and love she had experienced until things turned to shit, with a special emphasis on listening to her kids, believing them, and marrying a man who would love her unconditionally. She also made a note if any of her family that turned their back on her came to their senses she would forgive but never forget, allow them back in but always prepare for them to leave again. She ended her entry saying her family would always hold a place in her heart, but she was more than the black sheep of the Shelby family, and would never let herself forget that.
No one read that entry with a dry eye, they alll left with the assurance they would have been forgiven, but with the pain of knowing they'd never have had her trust again. But Tommy left with something extra. Last night, during her drunken drawer search, she found a note meant for Tommy that y/n intended to give him on her birthday. Tommy wouldn't open it there for fear of what it said, so he waited until he was alone in his office at home after everyone had gone to sleep.
After several shots of whiskey, he gathered up the courage to open it. Her words both broke and uplifted him. She thanked him for the years he spent raising her, for the times she knew he'd be there to pick up the pieces when she'd fall, the lessons he taught her, the times he was more father than brother to her. If it only stopped there he could have pretended she'd died knowing she was loved, but he read on, preparing himself for the worst part. She wrote of the pain his abandonment and the accusations caused, her loneliness and the betrayal she felt. Then she closed it with a hope his marriage was everything he wanted, that it provided him with a peace and joy she hadn't seen him have since the war. She ended it with love, hoping some day their paths would cross again and she'd see her brother, not the cold man he'd become to her.
That night he felt her presence, could swear he felt her hug him and wanted so badly to hug her. Felt her nudge him into going upstairs into his room to sleep, to forgive Grace even if he couldn't forget, to give Charlie the life y/n wanted to give her own children someday. He paused at the door and whispered "you were more loved than you'll ever know, y/n" before entering the room. Grace's relief at not living in limbo is something he knew his sister would approve of. The charity was renamed The Y/N Shelby Institute. The family may never be the same, but now, they all felt they could at least see this as a way of honoring her memory and in a roundabout way, achieving at least one of her goals.
Request: yes by @darlingsfandom - sent as a blurb request
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x fem!Reader
Summary: In which (Y/N) (Y/L/N) repays her employer in a way he wasnât expecting.
Warnings: language, an almost bar fight (series typical violence)
Word Count: 1856
A/N: I wasnât expecting this to turn into a full on story, but it did - thanks so much for giving me the inspiration to write this, Em! Iâm sorry it took so long for me to share it. The prompts sent in are bolded in the story. Enjoy! :)
COMMENTS & REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED â Iâd love to know what you think of the story!
Comment/Message me if youâd like to be tagged!
"I put me order in first!" one drunken man yelled at the man standing next to him.
"Mate this isn't even what you ordered!" the other man replied. Both men's hands reached for the pint glass at the same time.
"How the fuck do you know what I ordered?!" the first man questioned, his now brows deeply furrowed.
"Because I was here when I heard ya say it!" the second man responded.
(Y/N) stopped the order she was working on when she heard the squabble start. "What's happening here?" she asked the men, hoping to get some insight on why they were screaming at each other.
"That's bullshit!" The first man was not backing down. The screaming matched continued without acknowledgement of (Y/N)'s question.
"I'll tell you what bullshit is...bullshit is when someone claims a drink is theirs without checking what it is!"
"I'll show you bullshit..." the first man growled through gritted teeth before lifting the glass and slamming it down on the bar top, making the glass shatter and liquid spread across the wooden surface. He then lifted the handle, that was so conveniently still in his hands, in a threatening motion at the second man.
Nothing good was going to come out of this.
"Enough!" (Y/N) exclaimed, trying to get their attention by slamming her hand down on the counter.
A sharp pain surged through her hand the second it hit the surface, but she was too caught up in breaking up the bar fight to check and see what the cause of it was. "You both need to stop acting the way you are or you'll be thrown out."
"You need to start pouring the right fucking drinks in the right fucking order!" the first man yelled right back at the barmaid. He quickly turned to face her, the sharp handle of the glass now being waved in her direction.
"You might want to think about what you're doing right now," (Y/N) said to him, speaking in a low, leveled voice to try and get him to see sense in that moment.
She had no idea how this was going to go down.
"Oi! What the fuck is going out here?!" a booming voice came from the right-hand side of the altercation. (Y/N) turned her head to see a glaring Tommy Shelby looking through the small window that separated the private snug from the rest of the establishment.
"It's getting handled, Mr. Shelby," (Y/N) said in a quiet, but assured, tone. She hoped he could see that she could handle these sorts of situations by herself without having him stop he was doing to step in.
Tommy looked at (Y/N) for a moment, processing what she said before surveying the situation. In a matter of seconds he was out of the snug and approaching the bar. Anger was starkly apparent in his features. "I want both of you out of this fucking pub right now. Continue this if you want, but it won't be in front of me." He spoke in an almost growl-like tone. (Y/N) had never seen his this angry before.
The men didn't try and argue with him. They responded to his demand with a quick 'yes, Mr. Shelby' before they hung their heads and exited the establishment.
Tommy turned his attention to (Y/N) once they were out of sight.
"Mr. Shelby I was going to..."
"Let me have a look at your hand, (Y/N)," Tommy cut her off, his eyes zeroed in on the hand of hers that was still resting on the bar.
"It's fine, it just...oh, shit," she stopped what she was saying when she actually saw her hand. The sharp pain that she felt was caused by what looked to be a shard from the broken glass becoming stuck in the side of her hand. "Fuck," she breathed out a sigh, looking around for a rag to try and stop the bleeding.
"Let me look at it, love," Tommy cut in on her search, hoping to stop it before she could cover the injury up.
"I'll go to the washroom and sort it out," she insisted, continuing to look for a rag, "and then I'll make sure to clean the counter."
"It looks like there's a piece stuck in it," he pointed out, disregarding the action plan she'd just laid out.
"Let me see it."
"It's fine, Mr. Shelby," she insisted.
"Let me help you, (Y/N).â He wasn't taking no for an answer.
"Ok," she answered with a breath, finally relenting and holding her hand out for him to inspect.
He looked at it for a moment before taking it into his hold and stepping ever so slightly closer to her.
The breath go caught in (Y/N)'s throat at their close proximity. One challenge of working for the Shelbys that proved hardest to her after all of this time was keeping herself composed around Tommy. There was just something about him that she couldn't quite shake from her mind. She had a crush on her employer.
As he took hold of her hand, he brought her forearm to rest between his torso on his own forearm, hoping that it would stabilize her injured hand more for him to have a better look at it. It did the trick...but it also got (Y/N)'s heart racing.
"Hold still, love. This might sting a little," he said to her as he readied himself to pull the shard out of the side of her hand. (Y/N) gritted her teeth and sucked in a breath in preparation, then let that same breath out as a hiss as Tommy pulled the glass from her hand.
"ThereâŚit's out," he announced, gently letting go of her hand so that he could throw the glass in the bin under the counter.
"Thank you," she smiled at him, appreciation clear in her expression.
"You're welcome," he answered, nodding once as his lips slightly curved upwards. "If anything like that happens again please come and find me. I'll handle it."
"I will," (Y/N) nodded, not even trying to fight him on it. She had no problem sticking up for herself, but she also wasn't going to argue with him wanting to handle any future altercations.
Tommy nodded again after hearing her response. He then watched her as she grabbed one of the clean rags to hold on the cut she'd gotten. "There's some bandages in me office...go and get one to stop the bleeding."
"I will. Thank you, Mr. Shelby," she smiled at him in appreciation before turning and walking to the part of the pub his office was located in.
(Y/N)'s smile was spread from ear to ear as she entered the Garrison on her next shift day. She did a quick search around the pub's main room before concluding that the person she was looking for was - hopefully - in the private snug.
She found him upon opening the door. He was sitting in his usual spot: the head of the table with his back to the bar. A quick glance around the room made her realize that his brothers, John and Arthur, were also present.
"Good morning, (Y/N). What can we do for ya?" Arthur was the one to greet her first.
"Good morning," she returned the greeting, smiling at the two men sitting in the booth before looking back at Tommy, "I, uh...I wanted to give these to you, Mr. Shelby," she said as she held her hand out in the space between her and her employer.
Tommy took a moment to look down at what she was offering him. There was no glaring emotion present on his face as his eyes returned to hers, and (Y/N)'d be lying if she said that seeing this didn't make her clam up a little bit. She was also able to feel Arthur and John's eyes watching the interaction, their gazeâs weight adding an extra intensity to the situation.
"You got me flowers?" Tommy finally asked her, his eyes falling down to the small bouquet that was grasped in her still outstretched hand once more.
"I...yeah, I picked them on my walk to work today. I wanted to offer a little thank you for your help the other day," she explained the reason behind her sudden gift offering.
"You didn't need to thank me, (Y/N). It was..."
"I wanted to thank you, Tommy-" (Y/N) rushed to insist, her words coming out before she could realize she was calling her employer by his first name, "I, er...I meant Mr. Shelby, I'm sorry..." she stammered out, trailing off as she felt herself heat up at the mishap.
Tommy kept his eyes trained on her, which only made her want to sink into herself more, a somewhat of an amused expression forming on his face. If anything, he found her actions at this moment endearing.
He let a few more beats pass before he spoke again (Y/N) was getting closer and closer to dropping the flowers and running out with each one. John and Arthur were watching on intently, like one would with a close sports match.
"I appreciate the gesture, (Y/N)," Tommy finally spoke, taking the flowers from her - still - outstretched hand. He took another moment to look at them...no one had repaid him for doing a deed in a thoughtful way such as this before. A part of him truthfully preferred the sentiment to any lumpsome of money he could have received.
(Y/N)'s nerves were becoming increasingly frazzled with each moment that passed. Is he going to comment on my mishap? Was he upset by it? Is he going to reprimand me for it? Maybe I should get out of here. Her trail of thoughts finally pushed her to act, and she finally broke eye contact with Tommy to look at the two other Shelby men in the room, hoping to let them know that she was addressing everyone now. "I'll be going to my position at the counter now," she informed them, turning on her heel to walk the short distance back to the door.
"(Y/N)," Tommy's voice stopped her before she could open said door. She sucked in a breath as she turned back to face him. "Call me Tommy from now on, eh?"
The way he said it made it sound like a question, but anyone would have been able to tell that he was not asking her if she could do so. A weird feeling coursed through her body as she heard his statement. She couldn't explain it, or put a name to the feeling, but it put a smile on her face.
"I will," she gave him an answer even though he wasn't expecting one, nodding her head slightly before she continued with the motion of opening the door and exiting the snug.
đđ¨đŻđ đđ˘đđđđ§ | Thomas Shelby x F!Reader âş đđĄđ đđŠđ˘đĽđ¨đ đŽđ
đđŽđŚđŚđđŤđ˛: You return to Small Health after 10 years, although many things have changed, the people haven't. The love you and Tommy thought was dead rises from the ashes and you wonder if your past decisions were the right ones and if it's time to put it all behind you and start again.
đđ¨đŤđ đđ¨đŽđ§đ: 5.4k / đđđŹđđđŤđĽđ˘đŹđ / đđ˘đŹđđĽđđ˘đŚđđŤ: English isn't my first language, so forgive me if there are spelling mistakes.
âHe is a complete mess. He never sleeps, he lives on cigarettes, his best friend is whisky, and latelyâŚâ. Ada's sad gaze is lost in the smoke rising from the cigarette between her fingers. She opens her mouth for a moment, then closes it and shakes her head, as if weighed down by what she is about to say. Then her nervous gaze returns to you and she says, âHe's completely out of control.â
You look away from her to see your daughter standing near the library with a book in her lap. No doubt the physical resemblance was such that it was like seeing a reflection in a mirror. Blue eyes, black hair, freckles and a pale complexion. Just like his father.
âWell, he's always been like that.â You reply with a gesture of indifference.
She shakes her head a second time, stubs out her cigarette in the ashtray beside her and reaches into her coat pocket for six bullets. Slowly, she leaves them on the desk, which you assume is Tommy's, as the whole office is decorated with details of his personality: poetry books, pictures of horses and papers everywhere.
You stare at the ballets. âWhat are you trying to tell me?.â You point at them, not understanding what she is trying to tell you without words.
Her lip quivers and her eyes water. âThey are his â Tommy's. Arthur took them from his gun. Arthur is afraid that... Well, that he'll blow his head off if he's out there alone.â She puts a hand to her cheek and wipes away the tear that is running down her cheek.
âWhere is he now?â you ask, feeling a lump in your throat.
Tommy Shelby may have done crazy things and held his head responsible for many of them, but you would never think that he would want to take his own life like that. No, he was stronger than that.
âSomewhere in this damn mansion, he is obviously looking for a way to get away from all of us who want to help him. I don't know what to do anymore, he won't listen or talk to me.... He never listens to anyone, there was Polly, but she's gone now.â More tears trickle down her cheeks and you hold back your own agony, not to cry like her. âThat's why I didn't hesitate to come to you when I saw you at the fair, only you can deal with him. Please help him.â
You take the last drag of your cigarette and blow the smoke regretfully into the air. âI'll try,â you say, stubbing out the cigarette in the ashtray on the big wooden desk. You look at your daughter to approach her and say, âI'm going to look for someone, in the meantime you stay here with your Aunt Ada.â She nods and goes back to concentrating on the book. You start to walk again, but this time you cross the room to leave, moving steadily towards the garden door where you're sure Thomas Shelby is trying to escape from reality.
He always did that when he was looking for a way to forget his unhappiness and you weren't by his side; Polly would come to your house worried because she didn't know where he was, so you would go out into the field and find him by the stream, the stream where your whole story of love and friendship began, where you first met. You would stay there, by his side, until he confessed his worries and fears to you.
You were always there, and when you left, his thoughts became stronger than he was, and Tommy Shelby was completely lost in the darkness of his mind.
You look at the luxurious walls and think: ÂŤShit, he's got everything he wanted.Âť Thomas Shelby always wanted this life: a mansion, racehorses and enough money not to worry about tomorrow. ÂŤEverything I do, I do to have a decent life, to have love. Everything I do is for us,Âť he used to say to justify himself when he committed petty crime or petty theft.
Who would have thought that everything would end up like this, all because of his ambition and your stubbornness.
One thing you regretted was your past decisions: you should never have killed that innocent woman or kept the fact that you were pregnant from Tommy. One mistake after another has consequences that are hard to accept when you have to pay the price for your actions.
When you reach the end of your journey, you open the door and step outside. The air hits your skin and you look around. In the distance you see a huge stable and your feet are heading towards it, but suddenly you hear a man's loud cry and you turn your head in his direction. There, in the distance, next to a large patch of fertile land, is the man you still love. He is holding a gun to his head, and a few seconds later he falls to his knees and remains there.
You walk quickly to where he is, muddying your worn leather boots, your heart pounding in your chest with every step. All these years you have felt as if you were in mourning, you thought a happy life lay outside this city, far away from Tommy, but you were wrong. Happiness is not in another city, but in yourself and in the choices you make. You realised this when you left, but it was too late for regrets. It wasn't until a few months ago, when your ten-year-old daughter demanded to meet her father, that you decided to swallow your pride and do the right thing for her, for her happiness.
When you arrived at Small Heath, you learned that John had been murdered two years after you left. Hearing this was like being stabbed in the heart, but it wasn't over yet: you were also told that Polly Gray had been murdered less than a week before, and your world came crashing down. The guilt weighed on you for being so many years away from the people you used to call family, the people you loved; your daughter would never know John's meaningless and not very innocent jokes, she would never know the woman you considered your mother and, worst of all, they would never know how long your daughter had waited to meet the Shelby family. Because, yes, you told her about them all the time, and about her father too: ÂŤThe right time will come for you to meet them, but not nowÂť, you told her every time she asked if she could meet them.
You had waited too long, and now it was too late to change things.
Only a few yards away from Tommy, doubts invade you: ÂŤWhat will he do when he finds out about his daughter? Will he get angry like he did that evening in the Garrison tavern, when he thought I had betrayed him?Âť The questions torment you and your fear tells you to leave, far away from here, because you no longer belong in this city. Yet you don't turn around when he opens his eyes at the sound of your footsteps on the fertile mud and, finding yourself standing only a few steps away from him, his eyes reflect anguish mixed with confusion.
Thomas scowls and gives you an inscrutable look. He stops pointing the gun at himself and throws it to the ground, his Adam's apple twitches as he swallows saliva and, after a few seconds in silence, trying to assimilate what his eyes are observing, he said in an icy voice: âAm I dead?â
âI would have to be dead for you to confirm that you are. But, obviously, I'm not.â You reply earnestly.
He looks at you without blinking. The years had done you wonders; you were more beautiful than the last time he saw you. He always wondered how you looked, if your hair was still the same and if you still had that little scar on your left cheek that you got when you defended yourself from your father.
He thought about you every damn day of his life.
He never stopped loving you, even when he forced himself to. He was with different women to fill the void you left in his heart, but nothing and no one seemed to work. You were still on his mind and he kept breathing in the hope of one day seeing you again, but the death of his aunt took away everything good that was left in him: the two most important women in his life were gone. What was the point of living when inside he was dead?
Thomas looks down and slowly gets up from the ground, then walks towards you, closing the distance between you. âSo...what are you doing here?â he asks.
âI have unfinished business, a mistake from the past that I need to fix,â you tell him the truth, not needing to mention the real reason you are here today, in front of the man who, as much as it pains you to remember what he did, you miss like a child. âBut, when I got here, I found out horrible things, John was killed and PolâŚâ
His shoulders drop wearily with a sigh, he breathes heavily and doesn't dare look at you; then, you understand what's wrong with him: he's remorseful. And to hide it, he takes refuge in agony and in the past. You know this because you used to do exactly the same. Without thinking too much, you move closer to him, breaking the small space between you, bring one of your hands to his cheek to wipe away his tears and then pull him into your arms, hugging him tightly, as if you were afraid to let go and something bad would happen.
Thomas wraps his arms around your back and hides his face in your neck. Your scent seeps into his nostrils and fills him with peace. He was home at last. You lose yourself in thought. So many years convincing yourself that your happiness was far away from him, but you were only lying to yourself, because now, surrounded by the arms of the person you loved with all your being, you felt alive again, and you felt your heart beating like you used to when you were young and believed in hope. And even though your daughter was the light of your life, you always felt that something was missing, it was that spark, that feeling of freedom that you only feel when you are with the right person.
You loved Thomas Shelby and you couldn't keep lying to yourself about it.
In the deserted silence, you both cry like the insecure children you were when you first met, crying for Polly and John, but more importantly, for all the years you have been apart.
The first to pull away from the embrace, although it's hard for him, is Tommy. He wipes the tears from your cheeks and smiles apologetically for showing his emotions, but he doesn't regret it, because he was doing it in front of the person he loved the most after so many years without seeing or touching her. It felt like a dream to have you in front of him, a dream he never wanted to wake up from.
âIt's been so many years since I last saw youâ. He says, breaking the silence.
âI needed a break from this life.â You reply.
âYou needed a break from me.â He interrupts you. âWhat I did to you, Iââ
âThe past is in the past, Tommy.â Now you're the one interrupting the conversation. âI don't want to talk about what happened, what you did and what I did.â Grace's death comes to your mind, you blink and take a deep breath. âAnd, as I said before, I'm here to make amends for a past mistake of mine.â
A wrinkle forms between his eyebrows, not understanding what mistake you could have made, since, for Thomas, he alone had ruined everything. âWhat mistake?â he asks.
You lift your head slightly and look him straight in the blue eyes, and go on to tell him the truth. âThat night, when the police were after you for the guns and you hid with Grace in her flat, I had a miscarriage at home.â Hii hands fall from your cheeks and you can see tears forming in his pupils. Your heart hurts, it hurts because, after all these years, it still hurts to remember your baby's death, but it hurts your heart more to see him so devastated. You take a deep breath and continue. âThen Polly came in and helped me clean up the blood; then she poured me a cup of tea and told me I was pregnant.â
Tommy brings your foreheads together and lets the sea of his blue eyes cascade down his cheeks. And his hands return to your back, giving you the comfort he couldn't give you that night, when you lost your baby, his baby, alone.
âBut that night I not only lost a baby, I also found out I was having twins.â You notice how his breathing becomes ragged and you rest your hands on his chest, feeling his heart beating a mile a minute. âI'm not telling you all this to torment you, no, I don't mean to.â You stroke his chest, trying to calm him, which you succeed in doing as his breathing becomes calmer. âI just want you to know because, after all, you lost a baby too. All these years I've been very selfish and I'm sorry for that, Thomas. I'm so sorry I kept our daughter's existence from you and deprived you of seeing the first ten years of her life.â
Thomas Shelby is lost in your words. Part of him is angry, furious; why would you keep something like this from him? But then he remembers what he did to you and, if those were the consequences of his mistakes, he must accept them without complaint. Another part of him was elated: he had a daughter, and with you, he'd been dreaming of something like this ever since he realised he was in love with you at 17.
Tom smiles, still looking you in the eye. âA daughter? A little version of the two of us?â
You smile too, relieved by his reaction, you pull away from his forehead and, tilting your head in the direction of the mansion, you say, âCome, your daughter is waiting for you inside your mansion.â
You hold out your hand and Tommy looks at it for a second, but finally grabs it and you walk towards the mansion hand in hand. As you enter, you lead him to his office, but before you open the door, he stops you and squeezes your hand. One look and you know he's nervous, so you walk up to him and murmur: âShe'll love you, believe me. I told her about you, about your passion for horses, about how you love and protect the important people in your life. I simply ask you not to disappoint her, because for her, you and I are the example she sees to become a good person. We are everything to her, so please don't let your fears betray you and ruin the pure love of a child for her parents.â
Your words are like the last breath of courage he needed to meet his daughter, so Thomas nods and opens the door to his office. There, next to the library, a little girl with black hair and a white complexion is sitting on the floor reading a book.
Hearing the door open, she looks in his direction. First she stares at him, then her eyes move to you, to the side of the man unknown to her. Finally, they move down to where your hands are clasped together. You hide your lips to keep from breaking into a nervous smile and let go of Thomas's hand; you step forward and say:
âHope, this is Thomas Shelby.â Your daughter's eyes widen, knowing that name perfectly. âYour father.â
Hope puts the book down and stands up to approach Thomas, who hasn't taken his eyes off his daughter, but is unable to move, trying to take in that it's all real.
He has a daughter.
âHello.â
Her sweet voice reaches his ears and, at last, Thomas snaps out of his trance and crouches down to be at her level. Then he clears his throat and goes on to say in a raspy voice, characteristic of him, âHello, you.â
Hope smiles, showing her baby teeth and, in the blink of an eye, rushes over to him, wrapping her small arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. âI've waited so long to meet you, Dad.â
Your chest swells and you take a deep breath, holding yourself back from crying.
He closes his eyes, accepting the embrace, receiving the love he's waited for for so many years. âAnd I've been waiting for someone as special as you since I met your mother.â
In that moment, Thomas Shelby knew he had to do the right thing, make amends for his mistakes and do everything in his power to regain your trust so he could be by your side. He wouldn't make the same mistake he made ten years ago and he wouldn't let you walk out of his life one more time. Because if he loses you, and now his daughter, next time he'll have bullets in the clip and won't fail to pull the trigger.
He pulls away from his daughter's embrace and runs his hands down the side of her arms, caressing her. âLet me look at you.â He tells her, and this time wraps his hands lovingly around her freckled cheeks. âYou're beautiful.â She responds with a shy smile, causing him to smile too. âWould you like to take a ride around the stable and meet my horses?â
Hope nods her head euphorically. âYes, I'd love to. Mum told me that you have a passion for horses and betting races, and she also told me that you always cheated at betting.â
Tommy looks at you with a raised eyebrow and you hide the smile playing on your lips by covering your mouth with your hand.
âWell, your mother knows me very well; when we first met, we were your age. So we've been friends for a long time.â Tommy lets out the breath he's been holding in since he entered the office and stands up, then offers his hand to Hope, who accepts it readily. As he felt her small hand next to his, he knew he was the luckiest man in the world and would do his best to protect his daughter. âOkay, let's go meet the horses.â He looks back in your direction. âAre you coming?â he asks.
You fold your arms and reply, âYou go first, then I'll catch up.â
That said, the conversation dies down and you watch as your daughter and Thomas happily leave the office. You walk over to where your daughter left the book of poems and put it back in its place in the library. Then you turn back when you hear the footsteps of Ada, who until then had been watching everything from a corner with a smile on her face. She stares at you in silence for a few seconds, until you speak and express your fears: âDo you think this is the right thing to do?... I ran away from this life fearing that I would be hurt again and that my daughter would have an unusual lifeâ. Those last words fill you with fear as you remember the past. âHowever, when I gave her a normal life, I saw that she was not happy, and neither was I, Ada.â Your eyes fill with tears. âBut I'm afraid, very afraid that something will happen to her, as a mother I must protect her, it's my duty. And I know Tommy will never leave this business, but I can't live like this either, hurting my daughter and keeping her away from her only family, from her father.â
Ada grips your hands tightly, showing her support. âI know how you feel, it's exactly the same for me all the time. I'm fed up with this life, but I love my family. I always have unanswered questions and I never know what to do. But one thing I'm sure of: at least I have my family, my childrenâ. She looks down for a few seconds and then stares at you. âTommy never recovered from your turning away from him; I could see more and more darkness around him, but today I saw the Tommy of ten years ago again. I saw a gleam in his eye. He loves you, and I see that same love in your eyes. You both love each other.â She gives you a genuine smile. âSo, if you want my advice, if your daughter is happy here, if Tommy is happy here and so are you, why forbid yourself such an emotion? Give yourself a chance, trust him again, do it for your daughter.â
( . . . )
You fill your glass with whisky and sit in the white leather armchair in the living room. It's after midnight and you're still thinking about Ada's words.
Part of you was sure you still loved him, even after what he did. It took you years to forgive and put the bitterness aside. Ten years was enough time to reflect on life and how your love for Thomas Shelby was stronger than ever, no matter how hard you tried to kill that passion by walking away from him. But you were afraid. Your daughter was innocent, she saw the world in an innocent way; she had no idea of the world to which you once belonged and to which her father still belongs.
Your thoughts are interrupted when Tommy enters the same room wearing only black dress trousers and a white shirt that fits his musculature, and your nerves kick in; it was the second time that day you were alone. All afternoon Hope had been among you and had taken all your attention, but now it was just the two of you and there was no escape.
He walks over to the alcoholic beverage area, pours himself a glass of the same whisky as you, then walks over to where you are and sits down next to you, his thigh brushing against yours, you could feel the warmth invading his body and your breathing starts to become a little ragged.
Nervously, you bite your lower lip and try to ignore his blatant approach. You knew him, you knew he hadn't sat next to you by chance. As a young man, he always did the same thing: first he would distract you with his words and make you laugh to take your nerves away; then, in a second, his lips were on yours and his hands were exploring every part of your body. Thomas knew every part of you, your weaknesses and your longings. He wanted you badly; if you were just any woman, he probably would have walked into the room and seduced you without a word. But you were not just any woman.
You clear your throat as you stare at the glass of whisky in your hands. âHas she fallen asleep?â you ask.
âAfter spending all day running back and forth and exploring this mansion and the stable?â Tommy tilts his head to one side, takes a deep swig of his drink and sets the glass down on the low table in front of him. âYeah, as soon as she closed her eyes she was lost in a deep sleep.â
You take a deep gulp of your drink, willing it to take the edge off your nerves, before setting it down on the table where Tommy's empty glass sits. âWhat mansion, huh? How many rooms does this place have?â you joke, trying to ease the tense atmosphere between the two of you.
But Tommy keeps his face serious, his gaze fixed on you. âEnough for you and Hope to live here.â He replies in a firm voice, raspy from the alcohol ingested a few seconds ago.
You snort and reply, âTommy, I think this is going too fast.â
He purses his shapely lips. âI don't think so, I've been waiting for you for a decade, I missed the first few years of my daughter's life, I won't allow myself to miss any more.â
You stop looking into his eyes, sorry for your decisions. âI'm sorry, Thomas. Forgive me for robbing you of that, because of me you didn't witness her first steps, her first time talking or her first smile. I'm sorry, you don't know how I regret going away from here.â
Tommy shakes his head, showing that he doesn't agree with you. He moves closer to you, lifts your chin with his hand and asks you to look him in the eye again. âThose were the consequences of my mistake, it was the price I paid for hurting the one I love. I'm sorry for everything I put you through. But, like you said, the past is in the past, and now I just want to make things right, to be by your side and with my daughter. That's all that matters to meâ
Both of their gazes reflected a pure and sincere love, the kind that only lucky people get to know. At that moment, they both knew that, no matter how long they were apart, they would always be each other's eternal love and nothing and no one could ever break it.
His soft words send a shiver down your spine and you stare at him, unmoving. Unable to part your lips to express what you feel, for many years anger and fears controlled your decisions, but since having a daughter, your heart has taken control. However, the anxiety was always there and this moment was no exception. You wanted to trust Tommy and give him a chance, but what if everything went wrong again? This time not only two people would be hurt, but three. A tear rolls down your cheek. You were struggling internally, should you listen to your heart or your logic like last time?.
Tommy's eyes were still on you, full of hope. He slid his thumb under your eye and wiped away the tear. âPlease, I need to hear your thoughts.â He brought his face closer to yours, brushing his nose against yours, not taking his gaze from you. Hearing no response from you, he continued in the same low, soft voice. âLove, I need you. I need you in my life to keep me going. I have always needed you. And I still love you, and I always will; right now, what worries me is whether you still love me.â
Finally, you decide to listen to your heart. âYes, I still love you.â
Tommy smiles slightly, his heart beating a mile a minute. Someone in heaven must be on his side today, because never in his life has he felt so happy to hear those words come out of your mouth. You loved him, you still loved him. âThat's all he needed to hear.â He moved closer to you until there was only a little space left between you. âI will do everything I can to protect our daughter and you. I will kill anyone who touches a hair of yours, but most of all I will protect you from myself. I won't make the same damn mistake again. Otherwise, I won't know how to live in this life.â
You gasped and, without needing to say anything, you broke the gap between you, joining in a kiss that he reciprocated without hesitation. But it was not a kiss of lust, but of love and, above all, of hope, of a new beginning. Tommy pulls away from your lips, but not from you: slowly, he leaves soft kisses on your temple, forehead and cheek before finding your lips again for a breathtaking kiss.
6 years later, in Arrow House.
His hand caressed your leg and lifted it until it curved over his back. His lips met yours in a desperate kiss. He had been out all day, working in the office, stressed and longing to be home with you and his daughter. When there was no air left in his lungs, he pulled away from you.
Your lips were puffy and your cheeks were red, confirming to him that you were as excited as he was.
âHow was your day, my love?â He asks you in his huskier-than-usual voice.
You let out a gasp as his hand finds its way to your panties, where he manages to slip inside them and begin to touch you. With effort, you try to answer his question. âWell, I cleaned up the garden and then Hope and I went for a walk, but it didn't last long because she went off with her little boyfriend.â His thumb stops touching your clit and his eyes, now with a calculating look, hope he misheard his ears. âFuck.â You mumble and pull away from him to sit on the bed, because for the next few minutes you will have to put up with your husband's extremely overprotective personality towards his daughter.
Tommy gets out of bed and runs his hands through his hair, upset. âShe what?â
âSooner or later I had to tell you. Hope has a boyfriend.â
Your husband shakes his head and clenches his jaw so hard you're afraid he'll break it. âNo fucking boyfriend. She's only 16.â
You let out a small laugh. âYou're so over the top.â
Thomas raises both eyebrows, unable to believe his wife would take this so lightly. âOver the top? My daughter is only 16, she should be playing with her dolls and wooden horses.â
This time you let out a laugh. âPlaying with dolls? Are you serious?â
âYes! That's what little girls do at her fucking age.â
You sigh in frustration. âGirls her age don't do that at sixteen, Tommy.â
He walks over to where he left the sack lying. He needed a fucking cigarette to tolerate this situation. He lights one quickly, exhales it and then asks, as he directs his gaze back to you again. âSo, what are they doing, ey?â
You get up from the bed and walk over to him, grab his cigarette and stub it out, tossing it over a glass of water near you. You grab him by the jaw and pull him close to you. âWhen I was sixteen I was fucking with you like rabbits everywhere. Are you forgetting what you were doing when you were sixteen?â
Tommy snorts. âIt's fucking different, different times. Just the thought of my daughter doing that makes me sick. Tell me who that kid is to threaten him.â
You let go of his chin and shake your head as you fold your arms, sick of him being possessive of Hope. âYou're not going to fucking threaten your daughter's boyfriend. You have to accept that your daughter is growing up and she's not as innocent as she used to be.â
Thomas covered his face with his hands, trying to hide his anger. âTell me you warned her about the sex.â
âOf course I did. She knows how to take care of herself, she knows how to use a fucking gun and run a business, and I'm sure she'll know how to take care of herself when it comes to sex. You don't have to worry, besides I checked out the boy's family; they're low class and Catholic, Tommy.â He rolls his eyes and you hug his neck. âNothing to worry about.â
You give him a short kiss and he hooks his arms around your waist. It shows you that he trusts your words.
âTell me the baby inside you is a boy, because I won't be able to take anything like this again.â He whispers as he gives you another short kiss.
You don't respond and smile mischievously at him, with that simple gesture you confirm that he's having another daughter, and he just whispers:
Evie: The Younger Years Chapter Five: Tommy Runs the Bake Sale
Summary: Mother Superior feels as though Tommy Shelby is ditching his community service duties, and therefore forces him to cover the bake sale. Except, he isn't very good at it.
Links:
Ao3
Wattpad
Or you can read it below! Please comment and reblog. I would much appreciate it. Hopefully this gives you a silly Sunday
âHere are the biscuits,â Tommy said, handing Sister Francis the basket covered in cloth. He pushed Evie forward and kneeled, caressing the little girlâs cheeks. âFinn and you will walk home together, eh? Be a big girl for me.â He could already tell from the massive pout on her face that she wasnât pleased. Evie didnât do well with routine changes. The poor girl folded her arms, pouting out that little bottom lip. âEvie, donât you give me that look. Daddy has work and youâre getting old enough. You and Martha can hold hands and Finn will lead-Evelyn Rose Shelby, you look at me when Iâm speaking to you.â The girl turned her back, giving him the silent treatment. She wasnât really hurt by him not picking her up. To be fair, Tommy mostly only picked her up on Wednesdays for their special lunch dates. It was usually Polly or Finn that walked her home. But every bloody fuckinâ Thursday he had to reset the routine. âNow, Finn has walked you home plenty of times-great, you are giving me the silent treatment. Iâm arguing with a little girl.â He groaned as he stood up and walked around her, gently grabbing her chubby cheeks. âDaddy is off now, câmon, cheek kissâŚâ
âNo,â she said, narrowing her eyes before shuffling the other way. Tommy was done entertaining this as he threw the towel in.
âAlright then,â he said. âIâm going and tonight, if you decide to love me again, there will be a little cheek kiss waiting for you.â Evie watched as he started to make his way towards the school exit. She was a little sad, but not more than she was stubborn. She turned to look at Martha and her mum. The woman, a bit older than her daddy, fussed over Martha and her siblings. Sometimes she thought about how itâd be to have a mother to fuss so much.
As Tommy reached the door, he heard a familiar voice. Sounded masculine, but he knew better. The low, deep voice, and small gravel that came with it. âMr. Shelby,â it said. For a split second, he thought about pretending not to hear it and keep on walking. But surely theyâd call the house and instead of dealing with it, heâd have to deal with Pol. âMr. Shelby!â
Tommy turned on his heels, an unlit cigarette in his fingers. In the most sarcastic tone, he said, âMother Superior! Hope this morning is treating you well-â
âItâs dreadful,â she said, deadpanned. âMay I speak with you in my office?â
Tommy couldnât hide his minor eye roll as he looked at his watch. âI suppose I have a moment.â
âI would hope that you have more than a moment,â she said, leading him into a grand office. One that he has sat in many times before. She closed the door and moved behind the desk, coughing with each step. âAre you aware of the terms that you agreed to when you enrolled Evelyn in our school just a year prior?â
Tommy thought for a moment, before in a questionable tone, âam I behind on the tuition? Do I need to make another donation-â
âSimply,â she started, folding her hands. âYou lack a certain type of community value set that the other parents do not-â
âIâm not quite understanding you,â Tommy responded, cocked brow. He started to pull out his wallet. âIs it money? â
âTime. Our community thrives on contribution and time.â He was still not clear what the old hag was saying, and she could tell. Through her annoyances and frustrations, she groaned as her limbs creaked when she lifted from the chair. âMr. OâConnell, Marthaâs father, built the new swing set on his day off! If youâd come and take a look.â Tommy sighed, getting up and peering out the window. Fuckinâ James he thought to himself. Mother Superiorâs eyes glistened as she looked at it. âAnd Mr. Willis, Margaret and Calebâs father-â
âIâm aware, George works at one of my factories-â
âWell, he paved over our walkway.â She walked back to her desk, her arms up. âYou see, Mr. Shelby, all of the parents volunteer their time. The mothers repainted our hallways and created a beautiful mural in the garden. They go to all the committee meetings, events-â
âI go to the events,â he said, interjecting. âI go to all of the events. The plays, the ceremonies, the-the-the other things that make no fookinâ sense to me. I go to them. Mother Superior, are you suggesting I, who donates a good lump sum to this school, donât give enough-â
âTime,â she said, nodding.
âDonât you think some people have actual work?â Tommy looked at his pocket watch. âThat I run businesses and take care of Evie myself. She and I, and no motherâŚ.What would like me to do? Volunteer a woman off the street to give an hour of her time to paint some fucking wall-â
âActually,â she said, giving a great effort to ignore his language in the house of God. âYou will volunteer your time today-â
âAre you bloody mad?!â
âAt the bake sale.â She stood once more collecting her things. âYou can use your business skills at the table.â Tommy sat there, with complete disbelief on his face. His stare followed the woman as she walked out, robes flowing behind her.
âFuckinâ âell,â he whispered, moving from the office. He took a moment to watch Evie in her element, disconnected from him. She was a happy girl. Ten was such a weird age, he noted. Some girls were too old to run around in their Mary Janes and others, like Evie, werenât afraid to leave scuffs along the soles. Martha and her wrestled like two boys, grabbing at each otherâs waists, screeching out in loud giggles and playful screams. He couldnât figure out who knocked over who first, but he was amused as they both tumbled. It was Sister Francis who took him from his gaze. She was just about Johnâs age; beautiful face, soft voice, but stern.
âMs. OâConnell, Ms. Shelby! You get off that ground right now,â she said, walking over. John called it a shame, a pretty woman becoming something so untouchable. Sister Francis was Evieâs class advisor, English teacher, and Maths teacher. The woman, with effortless ease, lifted Martha by her collar, patting her bottom. âCâmon! Up you go! The both of you now.â Tommy laughed, seeing the frightened look on his loving daughterâs face. She wanted no part of that spanking. Both of the girls ran off in the direction of the classroom. Sister Francisâ voice chased after them. âDonât run! Ladies donât run, they walk-Martha OâConnell, donât you dare-ooof!â Sister Francis shook her head and looked at Mr. Shelby with a pursed look.
He nodded to her, smirking. âRough Thursday, eh? Not quite Friday, but at least it isnât Monday.â The nun took a moment to allow herself a laugh.
âYouâre usually not the one for a joke, Mr. Shelby,â she said, walking over. Tucked under her arm was a pile of slips. She put her finger up to him. âActually, Iâm glad that you are here. Evie didnât-â
âGive me a paper that she was supposed to give me?â
They both laughed. âSheâs quite eccentric compared to the other girls, if I may say. Itâs for the class retreat.â Tommy was confused, his brows knitting, humor lost from his face. Sister Francis spared him the disappointed look. âItâs this weekend, you see. Itâs a Saturday-Sunday. Sort of like a camping trip. We will travel by small bus with the boys up North and spend a night camping. Iâd say,â she started with a little humor. âThe boys are a bit more excited than the girls, but-â
âEvie never told me about this,â Tommy said, taking a signed permission slip, reading over the contract. âBloody fuckinâ âell-sorry, my apologies. Iâm a bit miffed about this, thatâs all. She does this every time. Every single fuc-damn time. May I?â He questioned, thumbing down the hallway. She agreed.
Tommy jogged down the hallway and peeked into Evieâs class. Of course she was the one girl not sitting and being sort ofâŚrambunctious. Her and Martha danced to some odd tune that was not playing in earshot. But he looked at the other girls applying lipstick, and for a moment, he was thankful. âEvelyn!â he whistled. Evieâs smile dropped and she wore her pout. âEvelyn, you come here right now.â He motioned her with his finger, and stubbornly, she walked over. All the other girls watched on in curiosity, but Tommy pulled her outside gently by her wrist. âWhat is this about a retreat!?â Tommy kneeled for they were eye level, but the girl looked away from him. âEvelyn Rose Shelby, Iâm not happy with you right now. I donât have time for this, you understand? That fuckinâ wench of a headmistress is making me volunteer at the bake sale! If that wasnât bad enough. I was informed by Sister Francis that you, because why wouldnât it be you, didnât return your permission slip! The same fookinâ slip I never heard about or seen regarding a trip I had no bloody fuckinâ idea was happening! Where is that slip, Evelyn, and you get it to me rightâŚbloodyâŚnow.â
Evieâs bottom lip quivered as her daddy got upset at her. âI gave it to Aunty Polâ!â
He softened. âAlright, and why did you give it to Aunty and not me?â
She shrugged. âShe was meant to drop it off at the pub.â
âRight,â he nodded, letting out a long sigh, fingers massaging his temple. âCan you get me a pen, love?â He held the spare slip in his hands that Sister Francis just handed him. Evie nodded, but came back with a pink wax crayon that was stained with specks of purple, blue, and red. It also had mysterious teeth marks. Tommy took it and stared at it for a moment. Slowly, he asked in disbelief, âEvelyn, didnât I just buy you these for Christmas?â But he was too tired for any explanation. He signed off on the bottom line and gave his girl a forehead kiss. âGuess you and I will be going home tonight. Iâll be here all day, selling biscuits to little girls.â
Evie grinned, âMaryâs mum and Dottieâs mum are helping out, too-â
âLovely,â he said, sarcastically, propping a smoke between his lips. âThe snob and the loudmouth.â Dottieâs mum, Mrs. Reed was the one to always yell at Tommy in the pick up line. He gave his girl one last kiss and told her to, âbe good,â before joining the council of ladies in the main entryway. He looked over the nicely decorated table. Mrs. Doyle, while snobby, was a gentle woman; dainty and classy. Mrs. Reed on the other handâŚTommy looked at the woman, she was already wearing a scowl on her face.
âMr. Shelby,â Mrs. Doyle greeted. âAre you here to support the charity? Each piece is two pence-â
âTwo pence?â he hummed, taking a puff of his smoke. He could tell by Mrs. Reedâs face he had already done something wrong. He looked at her. âYes. Dolores?â
âDo you see anyone else smoking in this school-â
âI think Iâm fookinâ special,â he said, taking his seat. âAnd no, Mrs. Doyle, Iâm helping for the day.â It was a small stool meant for the lower grades, and if Tommy could describe it, heâd say it was digging in his arse. He looked over all the treats and picked up one of the oneâs Grace made, and bit into it. He could feel Dolores' eyes on him, burning holes through his skull. Slowly, he looked back at her.
âThat will be two pence,â she said, voice obviously strained.
Tommy grinned, reaching into his wallet and throwing a pound at the table. Then, just for the sake of pettiness, he picked up two more, shoving one in whole. âI made them.â He turned back to the table. âNow, two penceâŚdo you truly believe that we will make a profit off two pence? I say three. Covers labor, ingredients, and work-â
âMr. Shelby,â Mrs. Doyle laughed. âNone of this is for profit, itâs for charity. We give our ingredients and time for free.â
âIâm saying that three pence is better. Listen, Mrs. Doyle, Iâm a businessman,â he explained. âThree pence and we are covered for our time-â
âOur time is volunteered,â she retorted, speaking slower for he could comprehend. âIt means that we donât get anything. Besides, itâs our community and our school children who will be buying. Not business men.â
Tommy let out a long sigh. âAlright, so we take a loss in the name of giving. And do I get compensated for missing work, eh?â He popped another biscuit in his mouth. âOh, fuckinâ get off it. This is stress eatinâ, Dolores!â Looking back at her. âThinking how Iâll afford Easter dinner, losing a day of work.â A little girl from the primary skipped over, knitted pouch in hand. Tommy watched her closely. âTwo pence,â he said, seriously as she grabbed a chocolate chip cookie.
The girl frowned. âI only have one-â
âTwo pence,â Tommy stressed. âPut it back, love.â
Her bottom lip quivered and tears dotted her bottom eyelids. Sniffing, she put it back and wiped the wetness with the back of her hand. Mrs. Doyle frowned. âA pence is just fine, love, you take the biscuit. You pay what you have.â The girl nodded.
Tommy was shocked. âSo, weâve dropped all the rules of business-â
âOnce again, Mr. Shelby,â Mrs. Doyle stressed, getting a bit huffy. âIt is not a business, it is a fuckinâ charity.â Tommy jumped slightly as the woman glared at him, jaw tight. âNow, from now on, you will simply collect the money and put it in the tin, and keep your mouth shut.â
âIâm not fond of that rule.â
âYou wouldnât be, would you?â she snipped, looking away.
Tommy agreed, but not for long when John came through the doors with Esme. When he spotted Tommy in the middle seat, he did what any little brother would do. He didnât hold back his laughter, it came out in a loud obnoxious snort. He had to grip onto the wall to contain himself, resting his head as he laughed. âOh, fuck! No way! Youâre working the little bake sale, eh?â he pointed. Tommy sat, stoic and unamused. John shook his head, holding his stomach. âNo fuckinâ âell! Tommy Shelby selling biscuits!â Esme got in a laugh before grabbing her husband by the collar.
âCome off it, John!â she hissed.
Tommy leaned back, back resting against the wall behind him. âAre you here to fuckinâ annoy me?â
John took a deep breath, red in the face. âNah, Evie told us about the bake sale last week-â
âShe didnât tell me until last night,â Tommy said. âGlad you got the notice-â
âBut I didnât think Daddy Tommy would be,â he paused, motioning to the table. âWorking the table.â
âAlright, tell me what you fuckinâ want and fuck off!â
John walked closer, licking his lips and rubbing his hands together. âHow much a piece.â
âThree pence-â
âThree bloody pence!?â John asked, eyes wild. âFor that!? What charity are we running? Supporting the fuckinâ welfare program ourselves?â Mrs. Doyle reminded him itâs two pence, but he can pay what he had. âYou tryinâ to stiff me, yerâ own fuckinâ brother.â
Tommy sighed, wearing a grin. âFor you, three fuckinâ pence cause one, youâre annoying me. Two, youâre supposed to be at the office-â
âEsme and I are good Godparents,â he said, picking up three biscuits and handing Mrs. Doyle eight pence. âKeep the extra-â
âI gave a pound.â
âAnd I donât give a bloody shite. You donât pay me pound giving wages.â
âYouâre lucky I pay you anything-â
Esme sighed, âenough, John, câmon. I have to go back home and you need to go back to work. We donât need another pay cut like the last time.â Esme pursed her lips. âGod forbid an Uncle supports his niece's bake sale. Katie wishes her Godfather would do the same.â
Tommy snorted, âthey donât go to school, Esme. You let them run around all day-â
âMr. Shelby!â Dolores snipped. âWould you stop making a nuisance of yourself? We are trying to conduct a charity.â
Tommy looked at the woman, and deadpanned asked, âGod, Dolores, does that thing ever stop growing?â Dolores gasped as Tommy pointed to his cheek. âIâd suggest you go to the loo and wipe it off, but I assume at this point it talks to you more than your fuckinâ husband!â He was talking about the mole right below her bottom lip. He laughed to himself.
Dolores stood, âyou are a right fuckinâ arse, Tommy Shelby, and I donât give a fuck who you are!â
âAnd youâre a fuckinâ cunt,â he laughed. âNot my words, but Geoffâs, your husband. Hear âem at the pub!â
âMr. Shelby!â a voice came from behind him. They cleared their throat and signaled for them to walk over. âMy office, now, pleaseâŚ.â
Tommy sighed, and stood. âIt wouldnât be a day at school without at least one Shelby in the office, would it, eh?âÂ
Hi there Lee! can I request something with Alfie with the prompt "You're safe with me. You can finally let go." đ
Hey Rei! Tysm for the request. I've decided to write this as a short blurb that came to me as I was attempting to write something else đ I hope you enjoy it!
Safe With Me
Alfie x Shelby sister reader
Warnings: mention of kidnapping
"Nah, mate," Alfie murmured in disapproval the moment you were escorted into the distillery.
"Did you or did you not say you wanted revenge?," Darby hissed, the force of the last word sending spit flying across the table.
Alfie blinked slowly at his old friend before he forced his gaze back to you. A gag pressing down on your tongue and thick rope binding your wrists and ankles, you struggled against the tight knots that slowly cut off circulation. Your pained whimpers shot straight to his heart, unable to stand the thought it was because of him. It was true he wanted to ruin Tommy Shelby, but not like this.
"I wanted to teach him a lesson," Alfie agreed with a small nod of his chin. "But.."
"What's wrong, Alfie? This is what you asked for," Darby insisted, smugly gesturing a gloved hand toward you.
"I didn't ask for her," Alfie clarified, setting his jaw firmly.
"Perhaps not, but accept the spoils offered to you," Darby said, leering at you with a look of hunger in his eyes.
"Little girls ain't spoils!" Alfie roared, temper flaring at the insinuation that he'd take you as some sort of concubine due to his rivalry with your brother.
"You should learn to show gratitude, my friend," Darby tsked at his outburst. "One day I won't be so generous." With that he shoved his chair away and strode toward the exit.
"You takin' her with you?" Alfie floundered, uncertain how to proceed.
Darby turned on his heel, a look of annoyance at the inconvenience. "I can't take her back to Shelby or he'll know I played a part in this. I'm afraid you're on your own, Alfie. Buona fortuna!" he offered with an insincere smile.
With Darby and his entourage gone, the space between you grew quiet. The only sound to be heard were Alfie's lumbered steps as he made his way toward you. You shuddered involuntarily as he produced a knife, unsure of his intentions.
Alfie's eyes flicked to yours and you glimpsed the gentle soul lying beneath. "Not gonna hurt ya," he promised in a hushed whisper which calmed you instantly.
He proceeded to reach up and dislodge the gag first, studying your swollen lips with a mixture of hesitant wonder and shameful regret. "I'll...erm...have someone fetch ya bread soon," he assured you, wondering when you'd last eaten. The deep circles under your eyes telling him you'd not been allowed reprieve.
Holding the blade up in one hand for your inspection, he asked permission to cut you free. You quickly nodded in agreement, eager to be free of your confines. It only took a few deft slices to feel the scratchy rope fall away and you collapsed into Alfie from exhaustion.
He held you to his chest, heart thundering at your affectionate display of gratitude. Running a large hand against your back to soothe you, he gulped before declaring, "You're safe with me. You can finally let go."
And you did, allowing him to hold you as you sobbed into his shirt front. Despite the bad blood between families, you knew in that moment that he would do what was right and return you to your family. With mumbled words of thanks, you attempted to express your gratitude as Alfie swayed you in his arms.
Ada: "Freddie always said he loved me when he finished."
Polly: "My husband claimed he'd never experienced anything like this. You ?"
Y/N: "Alfie says I'm a vision. I tell him he says that all the time, and he tells me I'm a vision all the time."
Polly: "Men. They'll say anything to have it. And most of the time, they leave us frustrated and disappointed."
Ada: "Not always ! But⌠Yes, sometimes."
Y/N: "What do you mean ?"
Ada: "⌠Yours lets you finish first ? Is he slow ?"
Y/N: "No. I tried to see if I could get him to finish quickly once, but he would purposely hold back until I was satisfied."
Polly: "Why aren't all men like that ?"
Arthur: "Why do you always have these fucking conversations when I'm around ?"
I Don't Know What Title to Use @missmomof3 - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
