Ficlet: snippet of my WIP where Johnny looses his memories of falling in love with Peter. They both struggle with it. I went extra melancholic over it. Enjoy.
”What if…” the words get caught up in his tight throat and he has to force them out, “What if I never get my memories back?”
Peter’s hand comes to had at the nape of his neck and he is silent for a moment.
“We’ll figure it out”, he says after a while, though it’s fragile and does nothing to settle the grief in Johnny’s heart.
He moves to cross his arms over Peter’s chest and rest his chin on top of them, looking at him under his lashes. He is brushed by melancholy, slightly at loss as there is so much spider-man can do.
“Johnny.” He says his name like it carries so much meaning, as maybe it does, but Johnny wouldn’t know the moments that amounted to it. “I have spent every moment of our relationship making sure you knew how much I loved you.”
Johnny gasps, preparing to interrupt, not ready to hear it yet, but Peter’s gaze is firm and the hand on his back moves to cup his face and Johnny is left speechless again.
”You may not remember it. You may not remember how I was so sure I wanted to do this for the rest of my life, but I do. And you may not remember how we stood at the top of the Statue of Liberty and promised to love each other in sickness and health, but I do. And if, from now on, I have to keep these memories for both of us, then I will.”
He brushes a thumb over Johnny’s cheek, wiping a tear he had barely noticed, brown eyes sweet as honey.
“And I will happily tell you all about them again and again, how many times it takes, until you feel they belong back to you again. If you let me.”
Johnny lays his head on the side, not used to having a witness to his vulnerability, and Peter is enough of a gentleman to let him. To keep a hand on his hair and to wait for when he’s ready to take a step further.
When he does, he moves further up to capture him with a tight, tight hug, burying his face in the crook of Peter’s neck and breathing him in. There are arms enveloping his back and thumbs brushing soothing circles. And Johnny may not remember how he discovered someone that knew him so stole existed, but it is an easy thing to learn.
He pulls back enough to give him a kiss. Because he can. Because he wants to.
And because thank you is too trivial for what he is feeling, he says:
“This whole thing sucks. But if I have to rely on someone for it, I’m glad it’s you.”
