Another addition to the care and treatment of Derek Hale. Stiles gives him a spa day!
Stiles treating Derek to Self-care? Sign me up!!

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Another addition to the care and treatment of Derek Hale. Stiles gives him a spa day!
Stiles treating Derek to Self-care? Sign me up!!
Years post established Sterek Derek would make the most romantic unhinged comments out of the blue and leave Stiles.exe not working
Stiles: And then Carl started shouting to everyone in there complaining that the whole department had-
Derek: Your eyes are shining more than the sun today, not even the most powerful source of magic could compare to their spark
Stiles: ...
Derek (going back to his book): And Carl is a bitch
Stiles: I KNOW, RIGHT? And the worst part is that...
Sterek au meet cute where Stiles is a ups or Amazon delivery driver or something and every day he drives his route, delivering packages, and he knows literally every dog on the street, like he knows the one at the house with the rose bushes got bad hips but loves attention so he gotta go up the steps to pet her, the golden at the 2 storey house with the bikes in the driveway loves to sleep on the bench near the door and will roll over and potentially fall off to get tummy rubs, he knows that one pitbull with the massive head who looks terrifying but does full body wiggles he gets so excited when he sees Stiles van pull up, he knows em all.
One day Stiles gets a package to deliver to a big house on the outside of town that's rather quiet, never had to deliver anything to them before, but he pulls up, scanner in hand, package under his arm, and there's a massive... dog? A big black German shepherd maybe? Maybe a husky mix? Laying on the porch, right in front of the door. This isn't Stiles first rodeo (obviously), he knows not all dogs are friendly, so he approaches cautiously, announcing himself while still in safe fleeing distance of his van. The big black dog (?) lifts its head and watches him with an even gaze. It's not wagging, or looking any kind or specifically friendly, but it's also not growling or raising hackles, actually looks kinda relaxed. Just completely neutral. So he keeps talking. "hey big guy, I got a package for your house, just gotta drop it off, okay? Is that okay? Are you friendly? Please don't bite me, I like my insides as insides. You like my insides staying inside too, yeah? Not gunna eat me? We good?" The most he gets is an ear flick, but he's been getting closer the entire time.
This German shepherd maybe/husky/apparently part bear thing is huge, it almost looks like a wolf, but Stiles knows there's no wolves in California. Haven't been for decades. He drops the package next to the door, scans it, takes a photo for proof, steps back, and decides to test his luck. He reaches a hand out to let the dog (?) sniff him. The dog (?) doesn't. Stiles pets the dog (?) between the ears. "Good boy" and turns around to go back to his van. The dog (?) watches him go silently. Stiles gets back in he van and drives back down the road, back to the rest of town and the rest of his deliveries. Derek, still unmoved from his place on the porch, watches him go and thinks "I AM a good boy"
This is what I think Derek would say if someone asked him to review his pack mates:
Stiles: My favorite. Nice laugh. Very cute. 5 stars.⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Scott: I like him sometimes. Texts me too much. Can be really stupid. My brother. 3 stars.⭐️⭐️⭐️
Allison: who? 2 stars.⭐️⭐️
Peter: Very bad person and uncle. Do not like. Killed him once and he came back. Annoying. 1 star.⭐️
Lydia: Resurrected peter but I’ve been told she didn’t have a choice. Very powerful and smart. 3 stars.⭐️⭐️⭐️
Boyd: Really strong and a true friend. He gets me. 4 stars.⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Isaac: Adorable. Makes me wanna be mean to him. 3 stars.⭐️⭐️⭐️
Erica: Spawn of satan but she reminds me of Laura a little bit. 3 stars.⭐️⭐️⭐️
Jackson: Literally wanted to kill him many times. No one will let me. 2 stars.⭐️⭐️
There’s a lot of Stiles being really serious anytime he talks about his mum, but consider, they have the same sense of humour and she’d be proud as hell at any shitty jokes about her. For instance
Derek: did you look a lot like her? It sounds like you take after her a lot
Stiles: well… i don’t have many pictures of her, but I got at least one on my phone. Be nice, okay?
Derek: of course
Stiles shows him his phone. It’s a photo of a fucking urn
Stiles: She’s self conscious, she’s trying a new look
i dont care what universe, situation, voldemort or tom, i want him to be pining for harry FIRST.
and i don’t mean it in a “he fell first, he fell harder” way, i want him to fall for harry first and be absolutely terrible for him
harry eventually falls for him and its all fine but i wanna see tom/voldemort lose sleep over this man, punching air (and maybe people) seeing harry talk to anyone, and being insanely obsessed
in my hc, this is a man of zero chill and he will experience several breakdowns over having his first “crush” on anyone that isn’t there just to rise ranks in wizard society. having a crush should be his worst nightmare.
a nonchalant tom/voldemort is one that i do not care to read.
So I have this theory that when Stiles was a baby, Hales used to babysit him. Because the Hales were clearly some of the very influential families in Beacon Hills, and the sheriff being an officer, they must clearly know each other (at least in my head they are)
Of course, Stiles doesn't remember it because he was like one year old. But Derek remembers, so does Peter. But neither of them ever mentions anything because of the whole drama that is happening in the town.
But finally, things have calmed down. Everyone has graduated, and Hale House has been renovated. Peter is sane and forgiven, and everyone is having a pack night, and somehow the conversation is about how much of troublemakers they were as kids, and suddenly everyone wants to know what kind of a baby Derek was. Of course, Derek refuses and threatens everyone with his eyebrows and then leaves the room, so they turn to Peter. And Peter is like, 'Oh, he was such a big crybaby and mama's boy.' and everyone is like 'NO WAYYYY.' Then Peter proceeds to tell stories of baby Derek, who would cry while watching Bambi and wouldn't let anyone change the channel. Everyone laughs at that, and then Peter looks at Stiles and says, 'That was why he used to call you his Bambi and carry you around all the time, never letting anyone else hold you.' The room fell silent after that, everyone confused and surprised, wondering what the hell Peter was talking about. "Oh, you probably don't remember, but we used to babysit you," and everyone is like 'No, you're just trying to pull our leg' and boos him. But Peter is like, 'No, we really did, Talia was close with your mother, so she dropped you here sometimes.' when stiles still denied it Peter went and came back with an album saying he has proof.
And among the very few photos they managed to save was a photo of eight-year-old Derek sitting on a couch holding baby stiles. Derek had this full-tooth smile, and Stiles was in this adorable brown onesie, nibbling on a wolf plushie's ear as they both looked at the camera.
Everyone is so surprised to see the photo, especially Stiles, who has no recollection of it. But he remembers that plushie, which he still has. Peter went on to say that Stiles liked Derek the most and would only calm down when in Derek's arms. How Derek will fight with Laura whenever Laura says it's her turn to watch over Stiles, and how that plushie was Derek's favorite and he only shared it with Stiles, and how he didn't even let Cora, his own baby sister, touch it.
Then Derek walks into the room, and everyone bombards him with questions and the photo. Derek chases Peter around the house for telling them all this. But Stiles is a bit silent, trying to digest what he heard. When he goes back home, he digs out that plushie. Then he asks his dad about whether they knew Hales, and Dad tells him how close they were and how much they supported Stillinski's when Claudia fell sick, and how devastated he was when they died.
This kind of changes how Stiles used to look at Derek. He brings the plushie to Derek and asks whether he wants it back. But Derek is like no, he gave it to Stiles because he wanted him to have it. And upon Stiles' prodding, share some of the childhood memories.
In my head, this will bring them closer, and it is one of the reasons Derek always had such a high tolerance for Stiles' antics and protected him all the time.
sterek in which stiles takes “don’t call me dude” a lot more seriously but also a lot sillier
s: dude! guess what I found-
d: don’t call me dude
s: *rolls eyes* fine, honey bunch, guess what I found out about the creature we’re tracking
and
s: du-
d: don’t call me dude
s: *deep sigh through nose* okay then, sweetheart, can you believe roscoe stalled out again?
until he’s just calling derek by sweet little pet names and neither of them realize it until someone (probably scott idk) is like “….so when did you guys get together?” and they’re both turning bright red on the realization that they didn’t hate the pet names or the fact that someone mistook them for a couple
classmate sterek au. one of stiles’ most formative memories is of mrs. appelbaum struggling through his name. mitch… uh, mitchy-slaw… suave, i’m sorry, mitchy-suave… can you say it one more time?
jackson picked up rhyming at an early age. bitchislav, isn’t that funny? his own mom named him bitch stilinski.
but he sure shut up quick once derek started calling him jackson shitmore.
Eli, 10 years old, pretending to be a vlogger, sticks the camera in Derek’s face and says “everyone say hello to my gayest dad!”
And Derek is like 🤨 “why am I your gayest dad?”
“I don’t know, auntie Erica said it.”
Meanwhile Stiles is dying laughing in the kitchen, wheezing “It’s because of that one time she kissed you and you pushed her off!”
I can see Erica doing that😂
The pack: What does Stiles mean to you?
Derek: He's the reason I wake up everyday.
The pack: Awwww :)))) you're in loveeeee
Stiles every morning banging dishes, vacuuming, and dropping every loud clanky thing at 7 am with the speakers blasting: I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT
I just know Stiles takes it really far in arguments with Derek, especially the ones where it gets really technical, where Stiles is like “you said this asshole thing to me last week” and Derek is like “no, that’s not what I said. I said…”
And Stiles says “okay, well. Let’s see then. Scott, stick your claws in my neck”, and Scott is like “what?? I’m not doing that, that’s dangerous, Stiles. We only do that when it’s an emergency”, and Stiles is like “this IS an emergency. GOD. I’ll get Peter to do it if you don’t. And he’s NOT gentle”
Derek is staring at him like are you fucking INSANE
The packs playing celebrity heads and Stiles and Erica are twinning so hard, they can ask the most insane questions but on completely identical wavelengths like
Stiles: … am I hot?
Erica: yeah kinda, I mean I would
Everyone else looking at who Stiles character is: ?????¿???
Stiles: am I the green m&m?
Erica: yeah
Jackson: HOW
ok, but also —
happy mother’s day, Stiles !
for the longest time, the running joke amongst the pack was that Stiles was pack mom. it was funny the first few times, then Stiles started to question it, and then he stopped questioning it. fully accepted when Erica would barge in calling him “mama” or Isaac warning the pack to behave accordingly or else, “mom will get mad.”
Stiles probably wouldn’t have labeled himself as “pack mom” or “mom” in general, but he gets it. he recognizes how he talks to the betas, how he sometimes dotes on them, protects and looks after them. he truly can’t blame them.
when Eli came around, Stiles was given the title, “poppy” by the toddler. not “papa,” “dada,” “dad,” or “daddy”; not without trying. Derek was automatically “daddy” and Stiles didn’t mind “poppy” at all. although, a few “mama” or “mommy” had slipped out.
he didn’t know why it surprised him the first couple times it happened. should have been used to it by the pack calling him “mom” often but maybe it was because it felt different? maybe because Eli is a child. Stiles had practically been adopted by Eli, not the other way around. and more than anything, Stiles wanted to earn his place in eli’s heart, prove that he could be a loving and reliable parent to the young boy.
so he’d learn to get used to the slip ups, especially when it occurred around others, around eli’s school where teachers and strangers expect the literal definition of a mom and instead see Stiles. he’d wave off their apologies, smile along to their awkward laughs, tell some terrible dad joke to ease the tension.
and at some point, he’d be okay with Eli alternating between “poppy” and “mama”.
but imagine his surprise the first time Eli runs up to him, opening up a handmade card that read “HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY”. little hands that formed an image of flowers inside a pot, tiny fingerprints mimicking petals around a messily painted stem.
Stiles’ eyes welling up as the card is handed to him with eli’s little voice cheerfully saying, “happy mother’s day, poppy! i made this for you!” of course, Stiles knelt down, hugging Eli and telling him how much he loved it.
[and here goes my brain giving nothing the rest of the way :3]
Derek for some reason needs to memory screen Stiles for a password or something and he uses his alpha claws on him. Instead he accidentally falls into the memory of Stiles and Claudia on the hospital roof where she’s yelling at him to get away from her and Derek immediately getting the guilts when he realizes how much he snaps at Stiles to leave him alone, go away, shut up… anyone have a fic? I need this kind of angst in my life right now.
It doesn’t have to be the memory claws. Can be a spell or even Noah telling him about it. I just need guilt ridden Derek and lonely Stiles who has been clinging to Derek after he’s been gone from Scott or doesn’t trust him anymore.
god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies
One thing about me is that I love fanfics where Boyd and Erica are alive. I love my underrated wolves:)