Miss Understanding - She tells it like it is

Lets be honest about one thing. Sometimes, being a teenager sucks! And I would know. I'm still one myself. Always feeling so misunderstood bla bla bla you know the drill. Well here you can come rant about your sucky teenage problems cause here. Trust me honey. You're no longer misunderstood.

[misssounderstanding]

Crazy things

Hi, it's been awhile. And I have a few questions waiting in my inbox from ages ago. I feel terrible for not getting back to you guys but my life has been very hectic. Cancer, eating disorders, people moving out, fights. You know the drill. Everything teenagers should have to deal with in their families. Right? Well no I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Anyway I just wanted to reintroduce myself. I finally have some time to be helping others, handing out sound advice. So please, please, please do ask for it.

For those few messages in my inbox, they're from so long ago I'm pretty sure there has been a resolution in them which is why I won't answer them. However if your problem has not been answered by me and it has NOT BEEN RESOLVED. Message me again. Please. I am all ears. I even have better life experience now.

Stay cool my fellow teens.

Miss Understanding

[only-a-suicidal-girl]

[misssounderstanding]

Anyone else feel like they want to shut their mind off for just 5 minutes. Just to get a break from people and thoughts if only for five minutes.

[misssounderstanding]

Well hello you jolly old folk.

To be honest I have no idea why I just said that. I'm boreeeeeeeeedddddddd!! I probably shouldn't be since I live in London and the oh so exciting Olympics is going on, but to be honest the only interest I have shown in this thing is when Rupert Grint carried the torch. Yes suree guys. He ran right by me. Even got a wiff of his aftershave. I have to say he looked quite yummy in his olympic ware. He should wear it more often. Seriously. The white goes nicely with his ginger hair. 

But anyway I am BORED. I opened my first current account today WOO!!! I got up at 8:30 this morning. I haven't been out the house this early since who knows when. Since I broke up for study leave. May that is. Gosh I've got lazy in these holidays. Well not for much longer since I'm going on my gap yaaaaaar in 26 days to be exact. And my program consists of me starting classes at 8:30am which means I'll have to be awake before 8:30. Oh the joys. It should be quite fun though. Dorming with new people. Making new friends. Except having four girls on their period at one time is gonna be HELL!!! Only you lovely ladies will understand my pain for this one. Unless you males get really bad cramps and bleed a lot. 

Actually scrap that. You totally DO get cramps and bleed a lot. Just not the same as females... but still...

My brothers get really freaked out when me or my sisters talk about being on our periods. So a quick question for all you members of the male species. Do you get freaked out by the talk of periods?

[misssounderstanding]

Hope you lot haven't felt neglected by me. I promise I will update you with my oh so exciting life (*insert sarcastic comment here*) and answer some of questions.

[misssounderstanding]

[misssounderstanding]

Sometimes I really can't stand my friends..

Why did I have to pick friends who always seem to have some sort of problem with each other and there's me trying to sort everything out but I'm so scared I'm going to say one thing to one of them, which will upset  the other. You just can't win.

If I followed my own advice. Well this is what I'd say.

Go find yourself some new friends.

Oh if only it were that easy. I love those annoying old sods. 

That's me being affectionate for you.

XOXO -Miss Understanding

[inspiring-pictures]

[misssounderstanding]

Have I mentioned how much I hate my neighbours?

There I was going for a nice early sleep at 1:00am. Only that didn't work out so well. I may as well have stayed up all night on account of my silly neighbours. At about 3:00am I get woken up by music blasting out of the neighbours house. Okay I'm sorry but isn't that illegal? And what the hell were they even doing up at that time anyway? They're middle aged geezers. They should be ASLEEP like normal people. Or just have some manners and NOT play their music at 3:00am in the morning.

Anyway I finally managed to fall asleep again only to be woken up AGAIN at 4:32am and yes I checked the exact time. And it wasn't only me who heard them. Both my sisters did too and we were all going crazy. My sister walks in to the room practically crying and goes "I want to punch them." 

Anyway I was all ready to go shout out my window at them telling them to shut up and then as I get to the window I recognise one of the songs, so I go to both my sisters "hey they're playing ABBA" and they both looked at me and said simultaneously "SHUT UP".

And that is the story of my night. I think they eventually stopped playing music except then the next day as soon as they got up at about 12:00, they were playing music non-stop all freaking afternoon till about 21:00.

So yes. Have I mentioned how much I hate my neighbours? 

Cause I do.

XOXO -Miss-So-Tired Understanding

[misssounderstanding]

I'm going to Seattle for 10 days on a mission trip, and my group is going swimming most of the days, and that WOULD be lovely and all, but I'm supposed to have my period that week. I would just pack a bunch of pads and tampons and get on with my life, but my mum doesn't know I've started(heh.. two years this September). Got any tips for me and PMSing and swimming and sneaking pads? And on top of all that, I haven't fully learned how to put in a tampon. HELP, PLEASE!

Seattle for 10 days. Sounds lovely :)

The period problem.. not so much. 

So the sneaking pads and tampons thing? Well it all depends on whether your mums the sort of person who checks that you've packed everything and helps you fit everything in. If she is. No worries. As soon as she's done with that, get stuffing. I'd recommend taking them out of the box if you want to hide them and make sure they don't take up too much room. Obviously your going to have to use your own money to buy the pads and tampons. Also I'd suggest you buy some pads with wings. Keeps them secure. Also layer the pads, especially when you go to sleep so there's no chance of a leak. Wear black knickers and maybe even some black trackies as PJ's.  

As for the tampon thing, I'd suggest you watch a youtube video. Don't worry. They don't show anything.. at least not the ones I've seen (I had the same problem) but they give you step-by-step instructions. Definitely practice plenty before you go away. It feels weird but worth it if it means you can go swimming, and you get used to it.

Just a small question to you. Just out of curiosity, exactly WHY haven't you told your mum? I get it. Mum's can be a pain sometimes. But when it comes to periods they know their stuff and can be very understanding. And you wouldn't have to spend money buying your own pads. If I were you I'd tell your mum. Its really not a big deal. She's a useful asset to have though when your on your period.

Anyway good luck and please do tell your mum.

Good luck hun

XOXO -Miss Understanding

[misssounderstanding]

Hey Miss Understanding. Usually I wouldn't ask a girl for advice, but right now I really need insight from a girls brain. You are a girl right? Anyway I love my girlfriend, like really love her but we've never said it to each other. Thing is im going away to college in a few months & we keep fighting about whether we should do long distance of break up. I want to be with her and I want her to know I love her, but what if she doesn't want that and what if it just makes everything harder?

Well lucky for you I'm a girl then. How awkward for you if I wasn't. You boys. Always so assuming. 

So the college issue. Now if I were in this situation, I think the reason I'd be getting into so many fights with my boyfriend is simply because... College. She's going to feel left behind. You've gone off the college, will most likely be going out, making new friends and meeting new hot college chicks. Am I right? I mean that's half of what college is about. My guess is, you girlfriends feeling a tad insecure. Maybe she'd scared your gonna meet someone new. Someone whose more mature.

I think saying 'I love you' is the perfect way to squash all those insecurities. But then again. You have to decide whether your ready to go to college already tied down with a girlfriend. If this is the girl you want to be with. Say it. Say those three little words. If your not sure. Well then that's just another situation.

XOXO -Miss Understanding

[misssounderstanding]

I talked to this guy for 6 months and we did so much together. We met through a mutual friend. We didn't even start off as friends. We went right into talking. Like I said before, we did so much - sexually and emotionally. We didn't have sex until after 5 months, but we did other things. When we did have sex, he left me about a week after. What I don't understand is why he waited 6 months to have sex with me when all he had to do was find some desperate girl? Was it because he really cared or..?

Oh hun, I don't want to make this any worse for you but some things we just will never understand about boys. One of those things. Why they like a chase. 

Boys are bastards like that. They won't go for the desperate girls who literally throw themselves on them, they'll go for the girls who will make them wait, because the end result for them is so much better. Unless you ask him, you can never really know the truth on whether he cared or not. I would like to hope for your sake that he did. That there's another reason, but don't get your hopes up because that's rarely the case. 

One thing you have to know. You did nothing wrong. None of this was your fault. When having a close relationship with someone for that length of time, of course eventually it will lead to sex. Why wouldn't it? 

I can only imagine what this may have done to you and so really the only advice I can give to you is to love like you've never been hurt. It will be hard, but you'll get there. Your guys out there waiting for you. He just wasn't it.

xoxo Miss Understanding

[misssounderstanding]

I love my best friends boyfriend. I'd never do anything to hurt her but sometimes she makes it so hard. He deserves better. She's constantly flirting with other boys when he's not there&always moaning about these little things he does. She doesnt know how lucky she is. She always ask for favours&rants to me. I wouldnt mind but im really stressed about work& the boy. I fight with everyone at home&I need someone to talk to. I just wish she was the person I could talk to was her. -FeelingLonely

Dear Feeling Lonely,

I'm going to say this right now. DO NOT ACT ON YOUR FEELINGS FOR YOUR BEST FRIENDS BOYFRIEND.

You say you'd never do anything to hurt her? Prove it. Don't express your feelings for this boy. Did you ever think that maybe you developed feelings for her boyfriend because of the resentment you have towards her? 

I get it. It's hard having to keep your feelings for someone tucked away but until you know for sure that you really love him keep it to yourself. 

As for her flirting with other boys. Put it in perspective. If you didn't 'love' her boyfriend would you still think it was wrong? If so, tell her. If not. Keep your mouth closed. It's points like this that it comes to hoes over bros. Sorry.

Anyway the root of all of this starts with your relationship with your best friend. It has nothing to do with her boyfriend. 

Before you can start thinking about the boy problem you need to fix your relationship with her. Communication is key. If you need to talk to her. Talk. Confront her about your feelings towards her. Talk to her about your problems. MAKE HER LISTEN. 

When you've done that. Well then we can talk about how to deal with these feelings you have for her boyfriend.

Get back to me with results.

Hang in there.

XOXO -Miss-No-Need-To-Feel-Lonely Understanding

[misssounderstanding]

Miss Understanding my friend is always going out partying. Drinking, smoking, drugs the whole thing. He always asks me to come with him but I think what he's doing is lame. I'd rather stay at home playing video games but he always gets so pissed when I don't come. How can I get him to realise I'm not into that shit?

Oh I feel your pain. I'm not really the party-goer and what's so cool about smoking and drugs? That's what I want to know?

To be honest you should tell him straight out. I'M NOT INTO THIS SHIT!

But if you want to be more subtle, you just gotta tell this mate of yours that you don't like this specific group of friends. Tell him you don't get on with them. He'll understand... hopefully. When the drugs, smoking and drinking gets too much for him he'll be glad to have that one friend who he can just chill with and play video games with. 

Peer pressure can be hard. I get it. But stay stong. Your friend will come around eventually.

Hope this helped.

xoxo -Miss Understanding

[misssounderstanding]

miss U. My boyfriend and I just broke up. We've been going out for a year now but it just wasn't working. we loved each other but we were always fighting. i haven't cried yet because he seems to be handling it so well and i want to show him that i'm fine too. but i'm not. i'm not fine. i can't sleep, i only eat because its the right thing to do and i can't think about anything or anyone else. How do I get over him like he got over me so quickly? Yours Helpless

Dear Helpless,

Well now this ones a toughy... For you. Not for me. I know EXACTLY what I'm going to say to you. 

Its hard. To see the person your still in love with so okay about your break up. However, it's not like you can go up to him give him a shake and tell him CRY OVER ME GODDAMMIT. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that dear. 

As for helping you get over him? Sorry hun but there's nothing I can do for you there. It's not a process that can be sped up. It needs time. You need to be patient. I understand that it's hard but you just need to be patient. Eventually one day you'll wake up and realise that your ready to move on. 

Now I'm just throwing out an idea here. I am in no way saying this is the case, but its just a thought. Maybe your ex isn't as put together as he seems. For all you know he's putting on a brave face and trying to move on whilst at home he can't sleep or think about anything else either. 

Just give it time. Closure will come.

My advice to you. Get snuggled in your bed with some RomComs, teddy, tissues and ice cream and cry you heart out. Sometimes its good to let it all out. Don't be afraid to cry. Don't be afraid to let your break up affect you.

All the best.

xoxo -Miss U

[misssounderstanding]

Miserable day.

It's kind of been a miserable day. It seems as though I have had NO luck whatsoever. So lets start from the beginning. Hey I ain't asking you to stick around. You don't need to read this if you don't want. But it's a place for me to vent so don't complain. Anyway yesterday it was my birthday. It was fun. I had brunch with my friends and then my mum made me Lasagne and cheesecake for my birthday dinner. YUM! Anyway I turned 18 yesterday so I wanted to do something a bit more special to celebrate me becoming legally an adult. I decided to go to the theatre with three of my closest friends.

Confession: I've never been to the theatre before.

Anyway I LOVE musicals to bits and I absolutely adore Billy Elliot so we planned to go see it for my birthday. They don't show on Sunday's so we were going to go today. Anyway to get cheaper tickets we went into town really early at 2:30pm even though the show didn't start till 7:30pm. We got the tickets and then mooched around town for those last few hours. At about 7 we started making our way towards Victoria where the theatre was and just then my friends Dad called her saying that the show had been cancelled due to technical problems. Anyway we went and got out tickets refunded but I was really disappointed. None of us are free for the next two months and we literally have a week before we go off on our gap year and I've really been looking forward to seeing Billy Elliot for ages. Not to mention it was raining and I had a hole in my boot and now my feet were all soggy. So then I went home and found out my friend was cooking dinner for a few of us on Wednesday and I realised I can't go because I'm supposed to be babysitting.

Now I asked my sister to do me a favour and babysit for me but she said no because she doesn't babysit on weekdays. Okay then. And so yes now I am in a bad mood and I realise that my problems seem little in comparison to other people's problems, but at the end of the day. They're my problems and problems that have upset me and so that counts for something.

To b e honest I hope this revelation of my miserable day helps you feel more comfortable about dropping me an ask, to rant about your problems because to me whatever problem you guys have, if its important to you. Its important to me.

I know I sometimes sound mocking in my answers but its just how I write. I tell it like it is and I ALWAYS try to give you the advice you deserve. So how about answering some of your poor little question.

XOXO -Miss Understanding-Always

[misssounderstanding]

Hey Miss Understanding. Another boyfriend one. Boy you must get tired of these! Anyway I started going out with my boyfriend whilst he had started his gap year so we had to do the whole long distance thing. We managed that and our relationship is still alive and kicking. Thing is I just finished school and I really want to take a gap year but he keeps getting pissed off at me because he thinks our relationship won't last if I go. I really want this to work, but I NEED the gap year. What do I do?

"Another boyfriend one. Boy you must get tired of these!" Why must I get tired of these. I'm a teenage girl. I know what it's like. Boy drama to teenage girls, is like human blood to a vampire. Irresistible. 

Now I'm gonna say this once, and once only. As soon as the boyfriend starts trying to control your life. THAT is when you should kick his ass. He went on a gap year whilst you were dating. I don't care if it was at the beginning of the relationship, you still did long distance. His pettiness should not stop you from going on your gap year. As you said. You NEED it. Break the news to him with some chocolate chip cookies. Then go from there. I only hope for your sake that he doesn't decide to end it cause he's a pussy. And if he does. Well good riddance to bad rubbish. He wasn't the one. If you love each other and want to stay together enough, you'll make the long distance relationship work. At least you live in the same country. Only a year.

Survive. 

Ciao. Let me know how he takes it.

XOXO -Miss U