First Baby Visit Etiquette
A guide for family and friends
1. Wash your hands before approaching the newborn. You are a sniffling heap of death germs.
2. Don’t touch the baby unless specifically invited to do so. Especially not the face. Yes, this includes kissing and holding.
3. Please don’t wear heavy perfumes… New parents love that amazing newborn scent. If the baby smells like a stripper after you left, you’re doing it wrong.
4. If the baby needs feeding, give mommy space to do her boob magic discreetly. No, the fuzzy, hungry baby won’t wait until the end of your super-important story.
5. Bring stuff and better ask beforehand what is needed. And don’t pull that quid pro quo shit like ‘If I bring food, I can hold the baby’. Nobody is entitled to hold the baby beside the parents, period. Again, unless you’re invited to, then knock yourself out. (Don’t bring flowers. This stuff is smelly as hell and/or needs caring… ain’t nobody got time for that. They are well meant and beautiful, but an apothecary run, diapers or nipple cream are more important.)
6. Make it short, make it quiet and tune into the mood. Chances are the new family isn’t down for a big social event, they are probably tired, overwhelmed and glad that the baby is sleeping. So maybe leave dogs or small kids at home, but if in doubt, just ask.
7. Be respectful. Don’t ask the new mommy about her weight or her vagina. If she’s open to discussing her genitals, she will bring it up. Compliments are always a good idea - tell mommy she looks great, she will appreciate it big time.
8. Suck it up and keep your well meant advices. I mean it. New parents have probably heard them all (some of them even contrary) and if they don’t specifically ask, they don’t want to know, at least not for now - again, overwhelmed, tired and not very susceptive.
9. If you take pictures, loose the flash. Be respectful… Mommy and bubs are no zoo animals and if baby is fuzzing, they won’t pose for yet ANOTHER picture.
Every woman is different in that matter, so maybe some women are more relaxed about these issues. In my experience, first time mommies tend to be more sensitive than those who already have kids…
