Oh, no. That attractive man is suddenly looking my way. Shit… SHIT. I gotta act fast… I got it. I’ll just pretend to die. Wait… or should I pretend to be dead, instead? Damn. I hate thinking. I guess I’ll just compromise and pretend to be Ted.
You know, it’s been quite a while since I’ve done some Ted role-play.
Hmm, yes… I am far overdue for another Ted-play session.
Excuse me, sir. I’m terribly sorry to bother you, but by any chance does your name happen to be… Ted?
Uh, yes, my name does happen to be Ted. Haha! Just how in tarnation did you manage to guess my name, stranger?
Well, it just so happens that my name is Ted, too! About a minute ago, I sensed your aura from that news stand just across the street there. I just couldn’t help myself - my Ted Senses™ were so agitated over you that I just had to come over and confirm it for myself!
Ha! Well, shoot! Seems like you got some keen senses there, Ted.
(Both men laugh for about four seconds)
I feel like you and me got this - I don’t know, like some kind of connection. Like something really special going on between the two of us. You know what I mean, Ted?
I reckon you may be onto something there, Ted.
Yeah I mean, like… hey. Ted. I just got this completely bonkers idea. And I get the feeling that you’re totally gonna love it!
Well you know I’m always down to clown, Ted!
Yeah! That’s the Ted I know and love. Like, ‘sex’ kind of love. You get what I mean, right Ted?
So how about you give me your phone?
Uh, haha… you mean my phone number?
No, Ted. I mean your phone. Your mobile device. Give it to me.
Actually, why don’t you just empty all your pockets for me right here. And before you ask - yes, this is a real gun.
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