i paint stuff.

Good Omens, OFMD, Les Mis, Philip Quast, Remedyverse and other things i hyperfocus on. Fuck AI.

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soft Azi i painted yesterday

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soft Azi i painted yesterday

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happy. i wondered if my art mattered but was told i should keep creating what makes me happy and sharing it to make others happy, so here's me a happy content generator making happy content to make people happy. happy?

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there is comfort to be found in painting faces you've become familiar with over the years

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close-up

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kept thinking this guy would be fun to paint so here you go xD

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there is comfort to be found in painting faces you've become familiar with over the years

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burnout

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tw

i painted this in february, weeks before attempting to kill myself (twice, didn't work because i can't do anything right and that includes dying apparently). destroyed a bunch of my paintings (well canvas prints lol) and art books. at the time barely moved off the couch for two weeks. getting anywhere near my studio gave me panic attacks. i'm just so scared and so tired all the time. i'm still here but tbh i don't really want to be. i don't want anyone feeling sorry for me though. this is just the way i am and always have been. i can't remember not wanting to die, i don't know if that will ever change. i lost my dog, now i have no reason to force myself to even get out of the house. i still paint, maybe too much, i don't really do anything else. people ask me how do i paint fast but i really don't, i just paint all the time because that's the only thing that still brings me joy and makes me feel not as useless (and it's my job too). i love my family but they'd be better off without me. i just hang onto painting because it feels like some kind of a life support i guess

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thank you to everyone who reached out with kind words, i really appreciate it ❤️ i'll try to get back to all of you as soon as i can, thank you for taking the time to check in on me, knowing there are still so many kind people out there means so much

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Javert is gay, it is canon, Hayden Tee said sO

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wanted to paint something cute

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golden snek

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i miss you

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burnout

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tw

i painted this in february, weeks before attempting to kill myself (twice, didn't work because i can't do anything right and that includes dying apparently). destroyed a bunch of my paintings (well canvas prints lol) and art books. at the time barely moved off the couch for two weeks. getting anywhere near my studio gave me panic attacks. i'm just so scared and so tired all the time. i'm still here but tbh i don't really want to be. i don't want anyone feeling sorry for me though. this is just the way i am and always have been. i can't remember not wanting to die, i don't know if that will ever change. i lost my dog, now i have no reason to force myself to even get out of the house. i still paint, maybe too much, i don't really do anything else. people ask me how do i paint fast but i really don't, i just paint all the time because that's the only thing that still brings me joy and makes me feel not as useless (and it's my job too). i love my family but they'd be better off without me. i just hang onto painting because it feels like some kind of a life support i guess

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a little study piece

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it's no one specific, i deliberately kept focus on just the gesture and the textures so feel free to thinks of this as whoever you want :')

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a little study piece

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obligatory weekend sadness courtesy of Good Omens and yours truly. my apologies in advance

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rinse and repeat

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Look at em, trying to be all rugged and brooding. I'd be attracted if maybe I could seperate Max from Sam Lake, all I see is a goofball. Though I've never seen him with his shirt off so... who knows.

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i mean these are meant to be sad not necessarily attractive xD in my head Max and Sam are two seperate entities, i treat Max as a fictional character that happens to look sort of like Sam, Sam is Sam

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rinse and repeat