i yap a lot on here “musings” is a STRONG word

shark vs the universe

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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Love Begins

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almost home

pixel skylines
AnasAbdin
Show & Tell
ojovivo

Kaledo Art

roma★
Stranger Things

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Keni
noise dept.

Origami Around

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

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@mitchsmusings
i yap a lot on here “musings” is a STRONG word
singing as you clean the kitchen has to be most soul healing activity of all time. bonus points if you slip a little boogie in there
there's nothing i love more than my best friend texting me something really vague and following it up with "tell you later". you made time when you don't have much to tell me a happening and now i get a fun little mystery and i can hear all about it when you're ready i love you
inject this into my fucking veins
MAX VERSTAPPEN [#MV1] x "iliad" by homer, "ilium" by dan simmons && "the silence of the girls" by pat barker -> on complex antagonists, glory days and subjective mythos
articles quotes were taken from can be found here [ x , x , x , x ]
[ tags: @28ms28 , @cazzyf1 , @darlingnemesis , @mvlionheart , @versedicis , @vesrtapen , @carbonmono ]
DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD
Let's hold a moment of silence for Christian Horner *AIR HORNS BLARE AS I SCREAM IN JOY*
daily affirmations
i can ball
i am cool
bitches love me
i can cook mad RPF
the slowly blooming darkness in my heart is not real and is not bothering me
it's okay to be not okay
so one of my friends starting watching house
oomf doesn’t know how online games work
“what do you think you’ve been doing to save it?”
“isn’t it like stardew valley?” bro
fuck me in the ass and tie me up with string
Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
Nope.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
In conclusion:
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:
A fucking fork?
I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.
People eat burritos with forks?
God is sorry he made us.
(Source)
I always need this on my blog.
I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning.
Yes
Happy Ten Years to the Bad Burrito Post
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
george ezra: i be
how’d we end up in ohio you say?
your roommate’s zesty oiled up alpha, that’s how
i edge you every day now
and i rizzed you
the one i was mewing with, with john pork
pog shoes, looked up, at the sky and it was
the sigma male in your tpose when you glazed your way through to me
and how the imposter won the game
so zesty it was
the mark you saw on my grimace shake
the sus that grew between ratios
the rizz i used to call home
so zesty it was the goon
i don’t believe in god but i believe in queer musician lucy dacus and the power of a silent crowd while she sings a love song about a woman and that’s the same shit, really
I am thinking. about
max vertsappen
send tweet
slander oscar as much as you want but that won't take away his grill the grid trophy 🙏
he wanted something and he won it. my goat