Mary Jane @mj-watson-parker - Tumblr Blog

Hey, you doing ok?

@mj-watson-parker

Huh? Oh, hey MJ. yeah. I’m fine. Why are you asking?

I heard there was trouble in paradise. Just wanted to make sure you and Emily are comfortable and safe.

We’re good! We’re staying with Tony for the time being. Stark Tower is about as safe as it can get, honestly.

Oh good! He said you were in a hotel, I was worried.

Anything you need? I have a ton of extra lasagna from dinner, could I bring you some?

Who said that? You’re more than welcome.

Norman. He was whining on the internet.

I'll be there in a jiffy, let me just wrap this up and teleport over.

Of course.

Okay. See you soon. 🫶🏻

*MJ steps through a portal a few minutes later with stacked tupperware's full of double helpings of lasagna, salad, and garlic bread.*

Hello! Sorry to bug you so late. Hopefully The baby sleeps through it.

Wade chuckles and takes the food, giving MJ a sweet smile. “She sleeps really well, actually. Thanks so much for this. You really didn’t have to.”

"Oh, pish." She waves him off with a teasing smile. "Accept the help. Being a new dad is rough. Extra food is the least I can do. How's Stark treating you?"

Hey, you doing ok?

@mj-watson-parker

Huh? Oh, hey MJ. yeah. I’m fine. Why are you asking?

I heard there was trouble in paradise. Just wanted to make sure you and Emily are comfortable and safe.

We’re good! We’re staying with Tony for the time being. Stark Tower is about as safe as it can get, honestly.

Oh good! He said you were in a hotel, I was worried.

Anything you need? I have a ton of extra lasagna from dinner, could I bring you some?

Who said that? You’re more than welcome.

Norman. He was whining on the internet.

I'll be there in a jiffy, let me just wrap this up and teleport over.

Of course.

Okay. See you soon. 🫶🏻

*MJ steps through a portal a few minutes later with stacked tupperware's full of double helpings of lasagna, salad, and garlic bread.*

Hello! Sorry to bug you so late. Hopefully The baby sleeps through it.

Hey, you doing ok?

@mj-watson-parker

Huh? Oh, hey MJ. yeah. I’m fine. Why are you asking?

I heard there was trouble in paradise. Just wanted to make sure you and Emily are comfortable and safe.

We’re good! We’re staying with Tony for the time being. Stark Tower is about as safe as it can get, honestly.

Oh good! He said you were in a hotel, I was worried.

Anything you need? I have a ton of extra lasagna from dinner, could I bring you some?

Who said that? You’re more than welcome.

Norman. He was whining on the internet.

I'll be there in a jiffy, let me just wrap this up and teleport over.

Hey, you doing ok?

@mj-watson-parker

Huh? Oh, hey MJ. yeah. I’m fine. Why are you asking?

I heard there was trouble in paradise. Just wanted to make sure you and Emily are comfortable and safe.

We’re good! We’re staying with Tony for the time being. Stark Tower is about as safe as it can get, honestly.

Oh good! He said you were in a hotel, I was worried.

Anything you need? I have a ton of extra lasagna from dinner, could I bring you some?

Hey, you doing ok?

@mj-watson-parker

Huh? Oh, hey MJ. yeah. I’m fine. Why are you asking?

I heard there was trouble in paradise. Just wanted to make sure you and Emily are comfortable and safe.

Alright, these posers and their 3-day anon magic pregnancies are starting to piss me off.

karenpage-journalist

*chuckle* MJ. I don't know if getting afflicted by anons is really posing.

Well, they should try it for 9 months. That's all I'm saying.

karenpage-journalist

*sighs* I'd prefer they didn't. I'd prefer this all being a silly joke, like the kissing thing for Pride.

It's not just that they're missing integral organs needed for this. The male body isn't set up to survive child development and birth.

The human body rejects foreign things that aren't supposed to be in there. It's why people die if a surgeon accidentally leaves something inside during surgery, right?

...Three days probably isn't enough to be dangerous.

But we're talking about the hypothetical creation of life. Of a soul. Where did this child come from and where does it go at the end of the third day?

Also impregnating someone is some non consensual bullshit...

*groans and rubs her face* I was trying to stay out of this and now I'm thinking about it too much. Anons hurt my head.

I guess you're right, I should be mad at the anons, not the nonconsensual baby carriers.

I'm just grouchy.

thegoodavocado

.. Yeah. I'm grouchy with you. None of it makes sense.

Wait what happened with this? Did it just go away???

thegoodavocado

... No. It didn't go away, alright.

Oh! Well, good luck on the little bundle of joy! Anything you need for the nursery? Diapers? White noise machine?

thegoodavocado

.. I need a couple days to think and a fresh bottle of pepto bismol.

#we would be so camp #venomj

Aww. Here's some Pepto. Let me know if you need to talk anything over. Your body, your choice, ya know.

artofpandarson

VenoMJ if they were camp

Alright, these posers and their 3-day anon magic pregnancies are starting to piss me off.

Sorry babes. I thought it was bullshit too… but.. 😀

Sigh. I'm just getting hot and grouchy. If I could have a 3-day pregnancy I would, too.

You’re allowed to be annoyed. Would you like a cupcake? I just made them.

How are you making cupcakes already? Did they let you out of the hospital?

... sorry. I would love one. Like I said, I'm very grouchy.

I left early because the vibes were off.

Here you go, pooks.

Ha! I bet the hospital staff love you!

Thank you. What flavor is it?

I bit a nurse when she tried to take the baby to clean her off. Then I told a doctor I was going to burn his house down when he gave her shots and made her cry. They hated me. Norman did a lot of legal damage control before I left.

Red velvet with cream cheese frosting!

Hmm so when you say that the vibes were off, it's because you put them off, huh?

I hate that tell you this but unless she has your powers, she's gonna need shots that make her cry like every 3 month for the next 2 years.

I love red velvet! Yum.

Yes. 100%. I’ll own it.

I don’t know if she has any mutations yet. As of right now she just seems like a normal baby. I’m sure I’ll get used to her crying… eventually.

I’ll give you a few extra to bring home to the partners!

Thank you!

Do you have any good mutant docs in your universe? We go to Xavier's for most of our healthcare. It's really nice to be seen by people who care about you. And care about mutants.

You're probably all set with Norman, though. I bet he's got the best doctors money can buy.

I was thinking of asking Hank to run some tests, honestly. He’d probably know better than anyone. He’s got good ones, yeah. I just have to let them do their jobs without getting violent.

I’m a helicopter dad.

That's a good idea! Hank's great, he'll probably be able to help you with anything you need.

Hmm. Maybe attack helicopter dad. With lots of guns.

I think so too! I’m gonna reach out probably tomorrow. I’d rather know sooner than later.

Ugh. I know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t just relax. I need to be staring at her 24/7.

You are a new parent, that's what's wrong with you. Peter would probably say something smart, like it's an evolutionary advantage. I just know that that little human wouldn't make it very far if she didn't have people who were obsessed with her, staring at her all day. You're gonna be a great dad!

That’s really comforting to hear.. thank you, MJ. I’ve been convinced something’s wrong with me since I had her. lol.

Ha! Something probably is wrong with you. I know something's wrong with me.

Just make sure you're getting enough sleep. Postpartum depression is like 90% sleep deprivation. I think the other 10% is vitamin deficiency or something idk.

Make Norman pick up his share. Is he doing dad stuff too?

He’s definitely trying to. If I’m being completely honest I think at this point I’m hoarding the baby from him.

Hehe. Well, when you feel the great exhaustion come over you, you'll know. Then he can practice baby wearing during board meetings.

I filled out the paperwork to go on paternity leave. I'm trying to help but Wade won't let me. It's actually impossible to hold Emily for more than a few minutes without Wade snatching her back... Literally snatching by the way, he also growled at me for asking to feed her.

I'm her other dad...

I'm pretty sure your partner is flooded with hormones right now, give him a break. Maybe you two can try, I don't know, giving her baths together, or something. Or just be there with them... you'll have plenty of time to be a dad, don't worry.

... Did you bite a nurse too?

I'm being patient, I'm sitting on the room. I don't like the growling and biting... Is that unreasonable?

You married a Deadpool. I'm not sure what you thought you were getting into there, bud.

We're technically Common Law. I don't know... I don't know what I expect in general.

I don't like being called bud, please refrain from that in the future.

Ha! You're funny, rich guy.

You seem really good at biting off more than you can chew.

I don't understand how anything I said just now was comical. I excell at strategic maneuvering and problem solving, I'm not worried about my decisions.

It was funny when you asked me not to call you bud, as if I should listen just because you don't like it. I may not hate you like Peter does but I'm definitely not going to kowtow to you either.

Also you just said you don't know what you expect in general. That sounds like a guy who steps into messes without much "strategic maneuvering". It's ok, you're allowed to fly by the seat of your pants. Just admit to yourself that you can't control everything. Especially your partner.

And now I understand exactly where I stand with you, noted.

Mmhmm. Sure. Just ignore the rest.

I didn't think it warranted actual discussion, considering I'm not trying to control Wade and that implication is insulting to him as well as to me.

I dunno it sounds like you're trying to strategiccally maneuver and problem solve him instead of just accepting how he is.

That's not true. You have no idea what you're talking about. I love Wade and I would do anything for my family. I trust him fully and completely. And I would never try to control him, change him or force him to do anything.

Well then, have fun with your growly bitey partner!

I'm going to get an aneurysm talking to everyone on this website... Its like everything I say gets twisted...

Fine. Whatever. Wade bites people, I fill out the paperwork and pay the fines, it's a great system.

He agreed to no more biting and to sleep, so that's today's victory. I get baby time now so I'm going to enjoy that.

Ok, enjoy the baby time.

Alright, these posers and their 3-day anon magic pregnancies are starting to piss me off.

Sorry babes. I thought it was bullshit too… but.. 😀

Sigh. I'm just getting hot and grouchy. If I could have a 3-day pregnancy I would, too.

You’re allowed to be annoyed. Would you like a cupcake? I just made them.

How are you making cupcakes already? Did they let you out of the hospital?

... sorry. I would love one. Like I said, I'm very grouchy.

I left early because the vibes were off.

Here you go, pooks.

Ha! I bet the hospital staff love you!

Thank you. What flavor is it?

I bit a nurse when she tried to take the baby to clean her off. Then I told a doctor I was going to burn his house down when he gave her shots and made her cry. They hated me. Norman did a lot of legal damage control before I left.

Red velvet with cream cheese frosting!

Hmm so when you say that the vibes were off, it's because you put them off, huh?

I hate that tell you this but unless she has your powers, she's gonna need shots that make her cry like every 3 month for the next 2 years.

I love red velvet! Yum.

Yes. 100%. I’ll own it.

I don’t know if she has any mutations yet. As of right now she just seems like a normal baby. I’m sure I’ll get used to her crying… eventually.

I’ll give you a few extra to bring home to the partners!

Thank you!

Do you have any good mutant docs in your universe? We go to Xavier's for most of our healthcare. It's really nice to be seen by people who care about you. And care about mutants.

You're probably all set with Norman, though. I bet he's got the best doctors money can buy.

I was thinking of asking Hank to run some tests, honestly. He’d probably know better than anyone. He’s got good ones, yeah. I just have to let them do their jobs without getting violent.

I’m a helicopter dad.

That's a good idea! Hank's great, he'll probably be able to help you with anything you need.

Hmm. Maybe attack helicopter dad. With lots of guns.

I think so too! I’m gonna reach out probably tomorrow. I’d rather know sooner than later.

Ugh. I know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t just relax. I need to be staring at her 24/7.

You are a new parent, that's what's wrong with you. Peter would probably say something smart, like it's an evolutionary advantage. I just know that that little human wouldn't make it very far if she didn't have people who were obsessed with her, staring at her all day. You're gonna be a great dad!

That’s really comforting to hear.. thank you, MJ. I’ve been convinced something’s wrong with me since I had her. lol.

Ha! Something probably is wrong with you. I know something's wrong with me.

Just make sure you're getting enough sleep. Postpartum depression is like 90% sleep deprivation. I think the other 10% is vitamin deficiency or something idk.

Make Norman pick up his share. Is he doing dad stuff too?

He’s definitely trying to. If I’m being completely honest I think at this point I’m hoarding the baby from him.

Hehe. Well, when you feel the great exhaustion come over you, you'll know. Then he can practice baby wearing during board meetings.

I filled out the paperwork to go on paternity leave. I'm trying to help but Wade won't let me. It's actually impossible to hold Emily for more than a few minutes without Wade snatching her back... Literally snatching by the way, he also growled at me for asking to feed her.

I'm her other dad...

I'm pretty sure your partner is flooded with hormones right now, give him a break. Maybe you two can try, I don't know, giving her baths together, or something. Or just be there with them... you'll have plenty of time to be a dad, don't worry.

... Did you bite a nurse too?

I'm being patient, I'm sitting on the room. I don't like the growling and biting... Is that unreasonable?

You married a Deadpool. I'm not sure what you thought you were getting into there, bud.

We're technically Common Law. I don't know... I don't know what I expect in general.

I don't like being called bud, please refrain from that in the future.

Ha! You're funny, rich guy.

You seem really good at biting off more than you can chew.

I don't understand how anything I said just now was comical. I excell at strategic maneuvering and problem solving, I'm not worried about my decisions.

It was funny when you asked me not to call you bud, as if I should listen just because you don't like it. I may not hate you like Peter does but I'm definitely not going to kowtow to you either.

Also you just said you don't know what you expect in general. That sounds like a guy who steps into messes without much "strategic maneuvering". It's ok, you're allowed to fly by the seat of your pants. Just admit to yourself that you can't control everything. Especially your partner.

And now I understand exactly where I stand with you, noted.

Mmhmm. Sure. Just ignore the rest.

I didn't think it warranted actual discussion, considering I'm not trying to control Wade and that implication is insulting to him as well as to me.

I dunno it sounds like you're trying to strategiccally maneuver and problem solve him instead of just accepting how he is.

That's not true. You have no idea what you're talking about. I love Wade and I would do anything for my family. I trust him fully and completely. And I would never try to control him, change him or force him to do anything.

Well then, have fun with your growly bitey partner!

Alright, these posers and their 3-day anon magic pregnancies are starting to piss me off.

Sorry babes. I thought it was bullshit too… but.. 😀

Sigh. I'm just getting hot and grouchy. If I could have a 3-day pregnancy I would, too.

You’re allowed to be annoyed. Would you like a cupcake? I just made them.

How are you making cupcakes already? Did they let you out of the hospital?

... sorry. I would love one. Like I said, I'm very grouchy.

I left early because the vibes were off.

Here you go, pooks.

Ha! I bet the hospital staff love you!

Thank you. What flavor is it?

I bit a nurse when she tried to take the baby to clean her off. Then I told a doctor I was going to burn his house down when he gave her shots and made her cry. They hated me. Norman did a lot of legal damage control before I left.

Red velvet with cream cheese frosting!

Hmm so when you say that the vibes were off, it's because you put them off, huh?

I hate that tell you this but unless she has your powers, she's gonna need shots that make her cry like every 3 month for the next 2 years.

I love red velvet! Yum.

Yes. 100%. I’ll own it.

I don’t know if she has any mutations yet. As of right now she just seems like a normal baby. I’m sure I’ll get used to her crying… eventually.

I’ll give you a few extra to bring home to the partners!

Thank you!

Do you have any good mutant docs in your universe? We go to Xavier's for most of our healthcare. It's really nice to be seen by people who care about you. And care about mutants.

You're probably all set with Norman, though. I bet he's got the best doctors money can buy.

I was thinking of asking Hank to run some tests, honestly. He’d probably know better than anyone. He’s got good ones, yeah. I just have to let them do their jobs without getting violent.

I’m a helicopter dad.

That's a good idea! Hank's great, he'll probably be able to help you with anything you need.

Hmm. Maybe attack helicopter dad. With lots of guns.

I think so too! I’m gonna reach out probably tomorrow. I’d rather know sooner than later.

Ugh. I know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t just relax. I need to be staring at her 24/7.

You are a new parent, that's what's wrong with you. Peter would probably say something smart, like it's an evolutionary advantage. I just know that that little human wouldn't make it very far if she didn't have people who were obsessed with her, staring at her all day. You're gonna be a great dad!

That’s really comforting to hear.. thank you, MJ. I’ve been convinced something’s wrong with me since I had her. lol.

Ha! Something probably is wrong with you. I know something's wrong with me.

Just make sure you're getting enough sleep. Postpartum depression is like 90% sleep deprivation. I think the other 10% is vitamin deficiency or something idk.

Make Norman pick up his share. Is he doing dad stuff too?

He’s definitely trying to. If I’m being completely honest I think at this point I’m hoarding the baby from him.

Hehe. Well, when you feel the great exhaustion come over you, you'll know. Then he can practice baby wearing during board meetings.

I filled out the paperwork to go on paternity leave. I'm trying to help but Wade won't let me. It's actually impossible to hold Emily for more than a few minutes without Wade snatching her back... Literally snatching by the way, he also growled at me for asking to feed her.

I'm her other dad...

I'm pretty sure your partner is flooded with hormones right now, give him a break. Maybe you two can try, I don't know, giving her baths together, or something. Or just be there with them... you'll have plenty of time to be a dad, don't worry.

... Did you bite a nurse too?

I'm being patient, I'm sitting on the room. I don't like the growling and biting... Is that unreasonable?

You married a Deadpool. I'm not sure what you thought you were getting into there, bud.

We're technically Common Law. I don't know... I don't know what I expect in general.

I don't like being called bud, please refrain from that in the future.

Ha! You're funny, rich guy.

You seem really good at biting off more than you can chew.

I don't understand how anything I said just now was comical. I excell at strategic maneuvering and problem solving, I'm not worried about my decisions.

It was funny when you asked me not to call you bud, as if I should listen just because you don't like it. I may not hate you like Peter does but I'm definitely not going to kowtow to you either.

Also you just said you don't know what you expect in general. That sounds like a guy who steps into messes without much "strategic maneuvering". It's ok, you're allowed to fly by the seat of your pants. Just admit to yourself that you can't control everything. Especially your partner.

And now I understand exactly where I stand with you, noted.

Mmhmm. Sure. Just ignore the rest.

I didn't think it warranted actual discussion, considering I'm not trying to control Wade and that implication is insulting to him as well as to me.

I dunno it sounds like you're trying to strategiccally maneuver and problem solve him instead of just accepting how he is.

Alright, these posers and their 3-day anon magic pregnancies are starting to piss me off.

Sorry babes. I thought it was bullshit too… but.. 😀

Sigh. I'm just getting hot and grouchy. If I could have a 3-day pregnancy I would, too.

You’re allowed to be annoyed. Would you like a cupcake? I just made them.

How are you making cupcakes already? Did they let you out of the hospital?

... sorry. I would love one. Like I said, I'm very grouchy.

I left early because the vibes were off.

Here you go, pooks.

Ha! I bet the hospital staff love you!

Thank you. What flavor is it?

I bit a nurse when she tried to take the baby to clean her off. Then I told a doctor I was going to burn his house down when he gave her shots and made her cry. They hated me. Norman did a lot of legal damage control before I left.

Red velvet with cream cheese frosting!

Hmm so when you say that the vibes were off, it's because you put them off, huh?

I hate that tell you this but unless she has your powers, she's gonna need shots that make her cry like every 3 month for the next 2 years.

I love red velvet! Yum.

Yes. 100%. I’ll own it.

I don’t know if she has any mutations yet. As of right now she just seems like a normal baby. I’m sure I’ll get used to her crying… eventually.

I’ll give you a few extra to bring home to the partners!

Thank you!

Do you have any good mutant docs in your universe? We go to Xavier's for most of our healthcare. It's really nice to be seen by people who care about you. And care about mutants.

You're probably all set with Norman, though. I bet he's got the best doctors money can buy.

I was thinking of asking Hank to run some tests, honestly. He’d probably know better than anyone. He’s got good ones, yeah. I just have to let them do their jobs without getting violent.

I’m a helicopter dad.

That's a good idea! Hank's great, he'll probably be able to help you with anything you need.

Hmm. Maybe attack helicopter dad. With lots of guns.

I think so too! I’m gonna reach out probably tomorrow. I’d rather know sooner than later.

Ugh. I know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t just relax. I need to be staring at her 24/7.

You are a new parent, that's what's wrong with you. Peter would probably say something smart, like it's an evolutionary advantage. I just know that that little human wouldn't make it very far if she didn't have people who were obsessed with her, staring at her all day. You're gonna be a great dad!

That’s really comforting to hear.. thank you, MJ. I’ve been convinced something’s wrong with me since I had her. lol.

Ha! Something probably is wrong with you. I know something's wrong with me.

Just make sure you're getting enough sleep. Postpartum depression is like 90% sleep deprivation. I think the other 10% is vitamin deficiency or something idk.

Make Norman pick up his share. Is he doing dad stuff too?

He’s definitely trying to. If I’m being completely honest I think at this point I’m hoarding the baby from him.

Hehe. Well, when you feel the great exhaustion come over you, you'll know. Then he can practice baby wearing during board meetings.

I filled out the paperwork to go on paternity leave. I'm trying to help but Wade won't let me. It's actually impossible to hold Emily for more than a few minutes without Wade snatching her back... Literally snatching by the way, he also growled at me for asking to feed her.

I'm her other dad...

I'm pretty sure your partner is flooded with hormones right now, give him a break. Maybe you two can try, I don't know, giving her baths together, or something. Or just be there with them... you'll have plenty of time to be a dad, don't worry.

... Did you bite a nurse too?

I'm being patient, I'm sitting on the room. I don't like the growling and biting... Is that unreasonable?

You married a Deadpool. I'm not sure what you thought you were getting into there, bud.

We're technically Common Law. I don't know... I don't know what I expect in general.

I don't like being called bud, please refrain from that in the future.

Ha! You're funny, rich guy.

You seem really good at biting off more than you can chew.

I don't understand how anything I said just now was comical. I excell at strategic maneuvering and problem solving, I'm not worried about my decisions.

It was funny when you asked me not to call you bud, as if I should listen just because you don't like it. I may not hate you like Peter does but I'm definitely not going to kowtow to you either.

Also you just said you don't know what you expect in general. That sounds like a guy who steps into messes without much "strategic maneuvering". It's ok, you're allowed to fly by the seat of your pants. Just admit to yourself that you can't control everything. Especially your partner.

And now I understand exactly where I stand with you, noted.

Mmhmm. Sure. Just ignore the rest.

Alright, these posers and their 3-day anon magic pregnancies are starting to piss me off.

Sorry babes. I thought it was bullshit too… but.. 😀

Sigh. I'm just getting hot and grouchy. If I could have a 3-day pregnancy I would, too.

You’re allowed to be annoyed. Would you like a cupcake? I just made them.

How are you making cupcakes already? Did they let you out of the hospital?

... sorry. I would love one. Like I said, I'm very grouchy.

I left early because the vibes were off.

Here you go, pooks.

Ha! I bet the hospital staff love you!

Thank you. What flavor is it?

I bit a nurse when she tried to take the baby to clean her off. Then I told a doctor I was going to burn his house down when he gave her shots and made her cry. They hated me. Norman did a lot of legal damage control before I left.

Red velvet with cream cheese frosting!

Hmm so when you say that the vibes were off, it's because you put them off, huh?

I hate that tell you this but unless she has your powers, she's gonna need shots that make her cry like every 3 month for the next 2 years.

I love red velvet! Yum.

Yes. 100%. I’ll own it.

I don’t know if she has any mutations yet. As of right now she just seems like a normal baby. I’m sure I’ll get used to her crying… eventually.

I’ll give you a few extra to bring home to the partners!

Thank you!

Do you have any good mutant docs in your universe? We go to Xavier's for most of our healthcare. It's really nice to be seen by people who care about you. And care about mutants.

You're probably all set with Norman, though. I bet he's got the best doctors money can buy.

I was thinking of asking Hank to run some tests, honestly. He’d probably know better than anyone. He’s got good ones, yeah. I just have to let them do their jobs without getting violent.

I’m a helicopter dad.

That's a good idea! Hank's great, he'll probably be able to help you with anything you need.

Hmm. Maybe attack helicopter dad. With lots of guns.

I think so too! I’m gonna reach out probably tomorrow. I’d rather know sooner than later.

Ugh. I know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t just relax. I need to be staring at her 24/7.

You are a new parent, that's what's wrong with you. Peter would probably say something smart, like it's an evolutionary advantage. I just know that that little human wouldn't make it very far if she didn't have people who were obsessed with her, staring at her all day. You're gonna be a great dad!

That’s really comforting to hear.. thank you, MJ. I’ve been convinced something’s wrong with me since I had her. lol.

Ha! Something probably is wrong with you. I know something's wrong with me.

Just make sure you're getting enough sleep. Postpartum depression is like 90% sleep deprivation. I think the other 10% is vitamin deficiency or something idk.

Make Norman pick up his share. Is he doing dad stuff too?

He’s definitely trying to. If I’m being completely honest I think at this point I’m hoarding the baby from him.

Hehe. Well, when you feel the great exhaustion come over you, you'll know. Then he can practice baby wearing during board meetings.

I filled out the paperwork to go on paternity leave. I'm trying to help but Wade won't let me. It's actually impossible to hold Emily for more than a few minutes without Wade snatching her back... Literally snatching by the way, he also growled at me for asking to feed her.

I'm her other dad...

I'm pretty sure your partner is flooded with hormones right now, give him a break. Maybe you two can try, I don't know, giving her baths together, or something. Or just be there with them... you'll have plenty of time to be a dad, don't worry.

... Did you bite a nurse too?

I'm being patient, I'm sitting on the room. I don't like the growling and biting... Is that unreasonable?

You married a Deadpool. I'm not sure what you thought you were getting into there, bud.

We're technically Common Law. I don't know... I don't know what I expect in general.

I don't like being called bud, please refrain from that in the future.

Ha! You're funny, rich guy.

You seem really good at biting off more than you can chew.

I don't understand how anything I said just now was comical. I excell at strategic maneuvering and problem solving, I'm not worried about my decisions.

It was funny when you asked me not to call you bud, as if I should listen just because you don't like it. I may not hate you like Peter does but I'm definitely not going to kowtow to you either.

Also you just said you don't know what you expect in general. That sounds like a guy who steps into messes without much "strategic maneuvering". It's ok, you're allowed to fly by the seat of your pants. Just admit to yourself that you can't control everything. Especially your partner.

seasonofhorror

JENNIFER'S BODY (2009) dir. Karyn Kusama

GONE GIRL (2014) dir. David Fincher

FREAKY (2020) dir. Christopher Landon

OBSESSION (2026) dir. Curry Barker

punk-lunch

#I am that cunt #MJ RB

Alright, these posers and their 3-day anon magic pregnancies are starting to piss me off.

Sorry babes. I thought it was bullshit too… but.. 😀

Sigh. I'm just getting hot and grouchy. If I could have a 3-day pregnancy I would, too.

You’re allowed to be annoyed. Would you like a cupcake? I just made them.

How are you making cupcakes already? Did they let you out of the hospital?

... sorry. I would love one. Like I said, I'm very grouchy.

I left early because the vibes were off.

Here you go, pooks.

Ha! I bet the hospital staff love you!

Thank you. What flavor is it?

I bit a nurse when she tried to take the baby to clean her off. Then I told a doctor I was going to burn his house down when he gave her shots and made her cry. They hated me. Norman did a lot of legal damage control before I left.

Red velvet with cream cheese frosting!

Hmm so when you say that the vibes were off, it's because you put them off, huh?

I hate that tell you this but unless she has your powers, she's gonna need shots that make her cry like every 3 month for the next 2 years.

I love red velvet! Yum.

Yes. 100%. I’ll own it.

I don’t know if she has any mutations yet. As of right now she just seems like a normal baby. I’m sure I’ll get used to her crying… eventually.

I’ll give you a few extra to bring home to the partners!

Thank you!

Do you have any good mutant docs in your universe? We go to Xavier's for most of our healthcare. It's really nice to be seen by people who care about you. And care about mutants.

You're probably all set with Norman, though. I bet he's got the best doctors money can buy.

I was thinking of asking Hank to run some tests, honestly. He’d probably know better than anyone. He’s got good ones, yeah. I just have to let them do their jobs without getting violent.

I’m a helicopter dad.

That's a good idea! Hank's great, he'll probably be able to help you with anything you need.

Hmm. Maybe attack helicopter dad. With lots of guns.

I think so too! I’m gonna reach out probably tomorrow. I’d rather know sooner than later.

Ugh. I know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t just relax. I need to be staring at her 24/7.

You are a new parent, that's what's wrong with you. Peter would probably say something smart, like it's an evolutionary advantage. I just know that that little human wouldn't make it very far if she didn't have people who were obsessed with her, staring at her all day. You're gonna be a great dad!

That’s really comforting to hear.. thank you, MJ. I’ve been convinced something’s wrong with me since I had her. lol.

Ha! Something probably is wrong with you. I know something's wrong with me.

Just make sure you're getting enough sleep. Postpartum depression is like 90% sleep deprivation. I think the other 10% is vitamin deficiency or something idk.

Make Norman pick up his share. Is he doing dad stuff too?

He’s definitely trying to. If I’m being completely honest I think at this point I’m hoarding the baby from him.

Hehe. Well, when you feel the great exhaustion come over you, you'll know. Then he can practice baby wearing during board meetings.

I filled out the paperwork to go on paternity leave. I'm trying to help but Wade won't let me. It's actually impossible to hold Emily for more than a few minutes without Wade snatching her back... Literally snatching by the way, he also growled at me for asking to feed her.

I'm her other dad...

I'm pretty sure your partner is flooded with hormones right now, give him a break. Maybe you two can try, I don't know, giving her baths together, or something. Or just be there with them... you'll have plenty of time to be a dad, don't worry.

... Did you bite a nurse too?

I'm being patient, I'm sitting on the room. I don't like the growling and biting... Is that unreasonable?

You married a Deadpool. I'm not sure what you thought you were getting into there, bud.

We're technically Common Law. I don't know... I don't know what I expect in general.

I don't like being called bud, please refrain from that in the future.

Ha! You're funny, rich guy.

You seem really good at biting off more than you can chew.

Alright, these posers and their 3-day anon magic pregnancies are starting to piss me off.

Sorry babes. I thought it was bullshit too… but.. 😀

Sigh. I'm just getting hot and grouchy. If I could have a 3-day pregnancy I would, too.

You’re allowed to be annoyed. Would you like a cupcake? I just made them.

How are you making cupcakes already? Did they let you out of the hospital?

... sorry. I would love one. Like I said, I'm very grouchy.

I left early because the vibes were off.

Here you go, pooks.

Ha! I bet the hospital staff love you!

Thank you. What flavor is it?

I bit a nurse when she tried to take the baby to clean her off. Then I told a doctor I was going to burn his house down when he gave her shots and made her cry. They hated me. Norman did a lot of legal damage control before I left.

Red velvet with cream cheese frosting!

Hmm so when you say that the vibes were off, it's because you put them off, huh?

I hate that tell you this but unless she has your powers, she's gonna need shots that make her cry like every 3 month for the next 2 years.

I love red velvet! Yum.

Yes. 100%. I’ll own it.

I don’t know if she has any mutations yet. As of right now she just seems like a normal baby. I’m sure I’ll get used to her crying… eventually.

I’ll give you a few extra to bring home to the partners!

Thank you!

Do you have any good mutant docs in your universe? We go to Xavier's for most of our healthcare. It's really nice to be seen by people who care about you. And care about mutants.

You're probably all set with Norman, though. I bet he's got the best doctors money can buy.

I was thinking of asking Hank to run some tests, honestly. He’d probably know better than anyone. He’s got good ones, yeah. I just have to let them do their jobs without getting violent.

I’m a helicopter dad.

That's a good idea! Hank's great, he'll probably be able to help you with anything you need.

Hmm. Maybe attack helicopter dad. With lots of guns.

I think so too! I’m gonna reach out probably tomorrow. I’d rather know sooner than later.

Ugh. I know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t just relax. I need to be staring at her 24/7.

You are a new parent, that's what's wrong with you. Peter would probably say something smart, like it's an evolutionary advantage. I just know that that little human wouldn't make it very far if she didn't have people who were obsessed with her, staring at her all day. You're gonna be a great dad!

That’s really comforting to hear.. thank you, MJ. I’ve been convinced something’s wrong with me since I had her. lol.

Ha! Something probably is wrong with you. I know something's wrong with me.

Just make sure you're getting enough sleep. Postpartum depression is like 90% sleep deprivation. I think the other 10% is vitamin deficiency or something idk.

Make Norman pick up his share. Is he doing dad stuff too?

He’s definitely trying to. If I’m being completely honest I think at this point I’m hoarding the baby from him.

Hehe. Well, when you feel the great exhaustion come over you, you'll know. Then he can practice baby wearing during board meetings.

I filled out the paperwork to go on paternity leave. I'm trying to help but Wade won't let me. It's actually impossible to hold Emily for more than a few minutes without Wade snatching her back... Literally snatching by the way, he also growled at me for asking to feed her.

I'm her other dad...

I'm pretty sure your partner is flooded with hormones right now, give him a break. Maybe you two can try, I don't know, giving her baths together, or something. Or just be there with them... you'll have plenty of time to be a dad, don't worry.

... Did you bite a nurse too?

I'm being patient, I'm sitting on the room. I don't like the growling and biting... Is that unreasonable?

You married a Deadpool. I'm not sure what you thought you were getting into there, bud.

Alright, these posers and their 3-day anon magic pregnancies are starting to piss me off.

Sorry babes. I thought it was bullshit too… but.. 😀

Sigh. I'm just getting hot and grouchy. If I could have a 3-day pregnancy I would, too.

You’re allowed to be annoyed. Would you like a cupcake? I just made them.

How are you making cupcakes already? Did they let you out of the hospital?

... sorry. I would love one. Like I said, I'm very grouchy.

I left early because the vibes were off.

Here you go, pooks.

Ha! I bet the hospital staff love you!

Thank you. What flavor is it?

I bit a nurse when she tried to take the baby to clean her off. Then I told a doctor I was going to burn his house down when he gave her shots and made her cry. They hated me. Norman did a lot of legal damage control before I left.

Red velvet with cream cheese frosting!

Hmm so when you say that the vibes were off, it's because you put them off, huh?

I hate that tell you this but unless she has your powers, she's gonna need shots that make her cry like every 3 month for the next 2 years.

I love red velvet! Yum.

Yes. 100%. I’ll own it.

I don’t know if she has any mutations yet. As of right now she just seems like a normal baby. I’m sure I’ll get used to her crying… eventually.

I’ll give you a few extra to bring home to the partners!

Thank you!

Do you have any good mutant docs in your universe? We go to Xavier's for most of our healthcare. It's really nice to be seen by people who care about you. And care about mutants.

You're probably all set with Norman, though. I bet he's got the best doctors money can buy.

I was thinking of asking Hank to run some tests, honestly. He’d probably know better than anyone. He’s got good ones, yeah. I just have to let them do their jobs without getting violent.

I’m a helicopter dad.

That's a good idea! Hank's great, he'll probably be able to help you with anything you need.

Hmm. Maybe attack helicopter dad. With lots of guns.

I think so too! I’m gonna reach out probably tomorrow. I’d rather know sooner than later.

Ugh. I know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t just relax. I need to be staring at her 24/7.

You are a new parent, that's what's wrong with you. Peter would probably say something smart, like it's an evolutionary advantage. I just know that that little human wouldn't make it very far if she didn't have people who were obsessed with her, staring at her all day. You're gonna be a great dad!

That’s really comforting to hear.. thank you, MJ. I’ve been convinced something’s wrong with me since I had her. lol.

Ha! Something probably is wrong with you. I know something's wrong with me.

Just make sure you're getting enough sleep. Postpartum depression is like 90% sleep deprivation. I think the other 10% is vitamin deficiency or something idk.

Make Norman pick up his share. Is he doing dad stuff too?

He’s definitely trying to. If I’m being completely honest I think at this point I’m hoarding the baby from him.

Hehe. Well, when you feel the great exhaustion come over you, you'll know. Then he can practice baby wearing during board meetings.

I filled out the paperwork to go on paternity leave. I'm trying to help but Wade won't let me. It's actually impossible to hold Emily for more than a few minutes without Wade snatching her back... Literally snatching by the way, he also growled at me for asking to feed her.

I'm her other dad...