Ataahua

Hopeless, sleepless & careless

[the-suicide-effect]

“And the sad part is, I was getting better. And now I’m not.”

[tullipsink]

“i tell myself again and again and again that you’re not tired of me and that it’s all in my head but im a fucking mess and i feel it in my chest and in the way you say my name that maybe you are done with me but I’ve always been the overreacting type so im sorry if i can’t seem to stop my hands from shaking when i think about you with someone else who isn’t me because you got bored and decided that i wasn’t enough and im sorry if i can’t seem to stop myself from asking if im too much because being afraid of people leaving is all i’ve ever known when it came down to loving someone so please bear with me and please don’t get tired of me i swear i love you your name runs through my veins and your voice rings through my ears so fucking loud that it’s hard not to think about you and the way you hold my heart in your hands i’m just a mess with too many thoughts but i promise i’m trying not to be”

— A.M// prompt for anon I’VE ALWAYS BEEN AFRAID OF PEOPLE LEAVING BUT YOU, OH GOD, I’M FUCKING TERRIFIED

[mjlivesthrumusic]

Have you ever tried so hard to fight for the love you want. Try so hard to be loved the way you like to be loved? Is it supposed to be this hard? Am I supposed to cry multiple times a day and all night, because I dont feel like I am being loved the way I want and like to be loved? Is my heart supposed to ache every time I try and get out right rejected over and over? But I love him. I love him. But he constantly lies. But I don’t trust him. But I love him. I truly love him. From the bottom of my heart. Maybe I still don’t understand the way he shows his love for me. He’s not abusive. He’s not cheating. He just gives me the cold shoulder a lot. He doesn’t compromise with me. If he doesn’t want to do the stuff I want to do, I still push and I still hope and pray. But it never happens. He doesn’t show me that he wants to be around me as much as I need to be around him. I know that if I truly love him and want nothing but the best for him then I have to make sacrifices. I have to be able to accept what he gives me. If he gives me anything. After 5 years, I’ve come to the realisation that I’m not worth sacrifice. I’m not worth, not talking to that girl. I’m not worth compromising for. I must be the toxic one. There must be something wrong with me. No there is something wrong with me. I should really just be grateful for any type of love I get. I am an unlovable person. The fact this boy even gives me the time of day, letting me have his child, he even sees me 1 to 2 times a week! I should just be Thankful he gives me that. I don’t know what I would do without him. Thank you for loving me to the absolute maximum I deserve. Heck thank you for loving me beyond the maximum I deserve. I am a lucky girl. I love you more x

- AMDFC

[mjlivesthrumusic]

Dramatic

[mjlivesthrumusic]

Gross

[mjlivesthrumusic]

Ugly

[mjlivesthrumusic]

Fat

[mjlivesthrumusic]

Literally disgusting

[mjlivesthrumusic]

I literally disgust myself

[prospects]

[phaxes]

via weheartit

[prospects]

[prospects]

[prospects]

[prospects]

[phaxes]

via weheartit

[sheisrecovering]