Well first of all thereâs 7 band members, not 5. Thatâs not why I donât trust them, I just think itâs weird.
Now getting to the point, do you know how many top 100 hits Maroon 5 has had? A lot. Theyâre even on billboards top 100 artists of all time (ALL TIME). And itâs understandable, because pretty much every song they put out is fucking awesome. Sugar, Donât Wanna Know, Moves Like Jagger, Payphone, This Love, She Will Be Loved, Cold, Animals, Maps, Misery, Harder to Breathe, Never Gonna Leave This Bed⊠to name a FEW.
These shitheads have been popping out jams since I was a little kid. Well over a decade worth of killer music. Every other song I hear on the radio is Maroon 5. Itâs always Maroon 5. And I fucking love it. I love all their songs. Everyone does, theyâre awesome.
But hereâs the thing. Theyâre never the top selling artists. On the top 100 list, theyâre only in the 40s. They very rarely have a number 1 hit. Theyâre considered good, I supposeâŠ.. but not great. Not the best.
How many people have you heard say Maroon 5 is their favorite band? For me itâs zero. For many of you, itâs zero. If youâre thinking to yourself âwhat? No I love them, theyâre my fave!â Are you sure? Are you really sure? Theyâre your absolute complete FAVORITE band ever??? I doubt it. Youâre just saying that because the band is on your mind now. If I asked you your fave band any other time youâd come up with another answer. Everyone always does.
But they SHOULD be everyone favorites. Look at all of those songs. Theyâve got so many top hits. Everyone loves their music. Everyone sings along and knows the songs. They should be my favorite band, I think I like more of their songs than of my actual favorite artist. But they are not my favorite. They are no ones favorite.
I think they made a deal with someone. Satan? God? A dude down an alleyway? Who knows. But I believe they made a deal to ensure everyone would love their music. And we do. Itâs great music.
But the twist is that theyâll never truly be recognized as one of the best. Sure, their songs will play on the radio and everyone will sing along. Theyâll have sold out concerts. Plenty of fans. But not enough. Theyâll be just good. Never great. Never the best. Even if they should be our favorite, they never will be. Theyâll never sell enough albums or have their songs reach as high on the billboards as they should. Everyone loves their music, per the agreement. But no one loves them.
I hope Adam Levine knows Iâm on to him. I know what he did.