Okay kids buckle up for the INSANE story I just heard from my little brother
**As a disclaimer my brother is a cis straight dude who only dates the most basic white girls you can find. He's very emotionally aware but doesn't linger on his emotions, just processes them and moves on (this is wild to me)**
He calls me on my break just to say hi, that heās driving back to Denver from visiting his girlfriend, to which I respond ādidnāt you break up with your girlfriend (of like a month) last monthā and to which he says āyeah I have a new girlfriend, weāve been together four weeks but I went up to spend the weekend and meet her friendsā and Iām like ok great this is already ridiculous
So weāre chatting and Iām teasing him about how he doesnāt sleep with people on first dates and he says that heās changed his policy, itās just that he wonāt have sex with them if heād rather be doing something else, so I joke that Iāve had that where Iād rather be watching the show Chernobyl (true) and he says āyeah or watching a movie with my housemateā and I say hey bud thatās kind of gay and he says yeah I actually had a weird gay moment last night
And I go oh???? And he goes yeah, I was at the bar with the girlfriend and some of her friends and one of them was a guy and we were hitting it off, doing a little flirting as you do with your bros at the bar~
And then my cis straight brother goes on to explain that sometimes when youāre out with the homies and youāre having a good time and the vibes are right you just give em a little kiss, like just a kiss on the mouth between bros, āno tongue or anything like that but just to express that youāre close and having a good timeā
Iām like āMy dude thatās not a thingā and heās like ābetween confident straight men it isā and Iām like āNO ITāS NOT"
So there weāve got my brother having casual queerplatonic relationships with his homies at the bar, and heās telling me this and Iām obviously speechless, so he goes on and heās like āso because this guy and I were hitting it off I go in for a little kiss and he fucking swerves meā and Iām like yes my guy but because my brother is actually very good with respecting boundaries he was like āok man great communication, wonāt do it again"
BUT
Apparently my brother and the dude and my brother's GIRLFRIEND who has been there the WHOLE TIME go outside (I assume to have a cigarette but he didnāt tell me that part) and the guy turns to my brother and is like āman I should have kissed you when you offered itā and my brother is like ācool good shit manā like in the most bro way possible and then the guy grabs his face between his hands and just PLANTS a big one on his mouth
And THEN the guy panics and shoves him down on the ground!! And my brother has the normal reaction to being shoved on the ground unexpectedly which is to say āwhat the FUCKā and the girlfriend says āwhat the FUCKā and the guy goes āwhat the FUCKā and leaves
And my brother ended the story there and was musing on it like "this guy obviously has some complexes to work through about his sexuality, no confident straight man kisses another confident straight man and then panics and runs awayā
Which took me out at the KNEES lol
And that, dear readers, is the batshit story my brother told me!
OH MY GOD AND
AND
I told my coworker this and they were like Iām actually shipping him and his roommate and I was like HUH because I hadn't considered that and then later my brother sent me a photo of his housemate wearing sexy handcuffs
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Please I must know if the confident straight man is now a confident bi man in a confident relationship with his housemate.
