first of all I wanted to thank you for being the Voice Of Reason in re: the Odesta dynamic of Finnick being her caregiver. Second, I had a question about that: is it canon that he was her carer prior to Mockingjay? Obviously he is then, but is there a direct statement/implication that he was before?
If he wasnāt before, how do you think theyād both react to that sudden switch in dynamic (especially since theyāre in 13 and itās when All Of That Stuff Is Going On even outside of their personal lives)
youāre welcome š and I think that you could argue that itās canon that he was before but if you are only basing it on canon evidence like a direct statement (of which, to be fair, we have almost none about them anyway!) that argument would be tenuous. I think thereās very heavy implications of it, and my reasoning around it comes from a combo of observations about their behavior towards each other in book and movie canon, particularly the way Annie responds to him, and also my knowledge around this type of situation as a card carrying crazy person. since that reasoning is long and tangential to your question, Iām happy to elaborate on it in a separate post but wonāt go off into the weeds here.
if for whatever reason Finnick was not Annieās primary caretaker before they got to Thirteen, I think it would honestly be catastrophic for their relationship. less so for Finnick, because heās clearly very fulfilled caring for her, but it would be awful for Annie. if she has not been relying on him as her caretaker (if they werenāt living together, or someone else lived with them and occupied that role) that means first that her primary support person, whoever that is, isnāt there for her to rely on. thatās immensely destabilizing, and sheās been tortured for weeks. she most likely does not have the emotional energy to explain what her needs are and start from square one with Finnick to ensure that he can care for her.
so then, she has two options. he can be doing his best but without her guidance, making potentially things spiral and her worsen at times, or, she can try and teach him how to do it when she is already incredibly drained. either way it would be a large strain on their relationship. I think also something that ableds donāt understand is how much internalized ableism and shame people can experience. if Annie has been feeling that (and judging by how ableist Panem society is, I think itās safe to assume she has been), and thatās even part of why she hasnāt had Finnick as her primary caretaker, because sheās ashamed or embarrassed or doesnāt want him to see how much she struggles, the emotional toll of her coming to terms with that would also be very severe.
the result of this is most likely a lot of hurt feelings, miscommunication, competing access needs that arenāt being met, and the potential for resentment. itās undeniable how much they love each other but what Finnick does in mj requires a very specific skill set and a lot of practice, and if he did not have those skills to help her by they time they got to 13, it would be extremely difficult for Annie and would also cause a lot of guilt on his part, as to why he couldnāt do better for her in his eyes. (incidentally, those skills are part of the reason why I think he was her caretaker in 4. what heās doing is not necessarily intuitive and the way she responds to him is indicative of how well it works for her, which is less about him making a lucky guess and more well honed practice to get her what she needs.)
