if we burn

a test blog.

[littlelovelymemes]

✰  —  —  *  THE OFFICE SENTENCE STARTERS

‘  plan a was marrying you a long, long time ago. pretty much the day i met you.  ’ ‘  you have no idea what your friendship means to me.  ’ ‘  would i rather be feared or loved? easy. both. i want people to be afraid of how much they love me.  ’ ‘  when you’re a kid you assume your parents are soulmates. my kids are gonna be right about that.  ’ ‘  not ‘enough’ for me? you are… everything.  ’ ‘  now that i have your attention… MONEY!  ’ ‘  what is a two-way petting zoo?  ’ ‘  welcome to hotel hell. check-in time is now, checkout time is never.  ’ ‘  i shouldn’t have to ask you to do stuff like beat him up for me. you should just do it.  ’ ‘  i feel god in this chili’s tonight.  ’ ‘  don’t fall in love with me, kid.  ’ ‘  what exactly is my responsibility here? to comfort insecure heterosexual men? that can’t possibly fall on me.  ’ ‘  who is justice beaver?  ’ ‘  so i received my first valentine from a secret admirer. roses are red, violets are blue… it’s time for your dental cleaning and maybe a checkup too…  ’ ‘  that’s what she said!  ’ ‘  i’m running away from my responsibilities. and it feels so good.  ’ ‘  doesn’t matter because i’m going to take a nap.  ’ ‘  i’m an adult. i don’t have to think or do anything!  ’ ‘  i’m dead inside.  ’ ‘  i’m such a stupid idiot. nobody likes me.  ’ ‘  i understand… nothing.  ’ ‘  no, god, please, no. no! no! noooo!  ’ ‘  i’m not superstitious, but i am a little stitious.  ’ ‘  no, i’m not gonna cry over it. i did that in the car on the way over here.  ’ ‘  yeah, i have a lot of questions. number one: how dare you?  ’ ‘  if you break that girls heart, i will kill you. it’s just a figure of speech… but seriously, if you break that girls heart, i will literally kill you and your entire family.  ’ ‘  occasionally i’ll hit someone with my car. so sue me.  ’ ‘  i think even then i knew i was waiting for my wife.  ’ ‘  there’s too many people on this earth. we need a new plague.  ’ ‘  just pretend like we’re talking until the cops leave.  ’ ‘  don’t. don’t you dare.  ’ ‘  you ignorant slut!  ’ ‘  i really should have a tweeter account.  ’ ‘  i am beyoncé. always.  ’ ‘  sometimes i’ll start a sentence and i don’t even know where it’s going. i just hope i find it along the way.  ’ ‘  identity theft is not a joke! millions of families suffer every year!  ’ ‘  well, well, well, how the turntables…  ’ ‘  blink once if you want me to pull the plug.  ’ ‘  you’re paying way too much for your worms, man. who’s your worm guy?  ’ ‘  you don’t know me, you’ve just seen my penis.  ’ ‘  well, happy birthday, jesus. sorry your party’s so lame.  ’ ‘  you wanna hear a lie? i… think you’re great. you’re my best friend.  ’ ‘  webster’s dictionary defines wedding as: the fusing of two metals with a hot torch.  ’ ‘  st. patricks day is the closest thing the irish have to christmas.  ’ ‘  and i knew exactly what to do. but in a much more real sense, i had no idea what to do.  ’ ‘  where are the turtles?!  ’ ‘  i have cause. it’s be-cause i hate him.  ’ ‘  i’m an early bird and i’m a night owl. so i’m wise and i have worms.  ’ ‘  you know what they say, ‘fool me twice, strike one, but fool me twice… strike three.’  ’ ‘  i don’t talk trash, i talk smack. they’re totally different.  ’ ‘  i’m hot, you’re hot. let’s get poppin’.  ’ ‘  do you think that doing alcohol is cool?  ’ ‘  i have very little patience for stupidity.  ’ ‘  hate to see you leave, but love to watch you go. cause of your butt.  ’ ‘  sometimes i feel like everyone i work with is an idiot. and by sometimes, i mean all times. all the time. every of the time.  ’ ‘  i love catching people in the act. that’s why i always whip open doors.  ’ ‘  presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. it’s like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, ‘hey man, i love you this man dollars-worth.’  ’ ‘  wow, it’s a little early for ice cream, don’t you think?  ’ ‘  well, just tell him to call me as asap as possible.  ’ ‘  there’s no such thing as an appropriate joke. that’s why it’s called a joke.  ’ ‘  i wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.  ’ ‘  all i know is that every time i’ve been faced with a tough decision, there’s only one thing that outweighs every other concern. one thing that will make you give up on everything you thought you knew. every instinct, every rational decision… love.  ’ ‘  no matter what happens, you’ve got to forget about all the other stuff. you’ve got to forget about logic and fear and doubt. you’ve just gotta do everything you can to get to the one person who is going to make all this worth it. at the end of the day, you gotta jump.  ’ ‘  i talk a lot, so i’ve learned to just tune myself out.  ’ ‘  are you trying to hurt my feelings? because if so, you are succeeding. fortunately, my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal person.  ’ ‘  it’s britney, bitch.  ’ ‘  i didn’t say it, i declared it.  ’ ‘  i know a few things about love. horrible, terrible, awful… awful things.  ’ ‘  society doesn’t care. society sucks. i don’t even consider myself a part of society.  ’ ‘  i don’t care what they say about me. i just want to eat.  ’ ‘  well, i just think we all deserve to be with someone who wants to be with us.  ’ ‘  i’m boring myself just talking about this.  ’ ‘  i don’t care what he says, this is not the real ben franklin.  ’ ‘  he put my stuff in jell-o again.  ’ ‘  i just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. that’s all i’ve ever wanted.  ’ ‘  if you pray enough, you can change yourself into a cat person.  ’ ‘  sorry i annoyed you with my friendship.  ’ ‘  why are you the way that you are?  ’ ‘  the doctor said if i can’t find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, i’m going to die… i’m going to die.  ’ ‘  i am single now. what we have here is the ultimate smackdown between me and the crippling despair, loneliness, and depression.  ’ ‘  whenever i’m about to do something, i think, ‘would an idiot do that?’ and if they would, i do not do that thing.  ’ ‘  i should have burned the place down when i had the chance.  ’ ‘  come on, guys. early worm gets the worm.  ’ ‘  oh my god! okay, it’s happening! everybody stay calm! everybody stay calm! stay fucking calm!  ’

[rp-memes-atyourservice]

Manhandling symbol starters

Send one for your muse to…

★ - drag my muse by the arm ⁂ - grab my muse by the front of their shirt, possibly shoving them back ✱ - take my muse by the hips to carefully move them out of their way ➜ - smack my muse upside the head ⌧ - grip my muse by the back of the neck © - put a hand on my muse’s back to steer them somewhere ✂ - point sternly at a chair and tell my muse to sit down ✉ - push my muse back down when they try to get out of bed (perhaps involving illness, injury, or sleep deprivation) ☛ - press a finger to my muse’s lips to shut them up ♚ - put a hand on my muse’s knee while sitting next to them, to discourage them from standing up ♧ - slap my muse’s hand away from something they shouldn’t touch ♦ - grab my muse’s hair and yank ♤ - slam a door shut before my muse can leave the room ♞ - physically pick my muse up and carry them ♭ - grip my muse’s jaw to make them look yours in the eye ♨ - rub my muse down with a sponge/wet cloth  ☀ - pin my muse with their arms behind their back ☠ - slam my muse into a wall ☾ - wrestle/pin my muse to the ground

Add as much or as little context as you’d like!

[letyourdreamymemesbememes]

Injury Starters

“Whoa, when did you get this?”

“Who did this to you?”

“Hold still— I need to clean it.”

“I’m supposed to believe this was an accident?”

“Damn— I’d hate to see the other guy.”

“Does this hurt when I touch it?”

“What the hell, ___? Another fight?”

“What the hell happened to your face?”

“Why are you so calm about this? You’re really hurt.”

“I think your arm is broken. It’s not supposed to bend like that.”

“Here, let me help you with that.”

“You’re bleeding a lot. Too much. Apply more pressure. I’m calling an ambulance.”

“Did you think I was gonna leave you like this?”

“Instead of helping you, they ran off? What an asshole.”

“You need to be more careful. You keep getting hurt like this and you’ll put yourself out of commission.”

“Let me grab the first-aid kit. Don’t move.”

“So, do you wanna explain to me what the hell happened?”

“You look really pale. Sit down. I don’t need you fainting before I get this stitched-up.”

“I’m not blaming you, I’m just saying this looks awfully suspicious.”

“How many of them were there? This doesn’t look like one man’s doing.”

“Sit still. I need to clean this before it gets infected.”

“Wiggle your fingers. I need to make sure it’s not broken.”

“This is gonna hurt. A lot. But it’ll be quick. I need to pop it back into place.”

“I told you not to act recklessly like that. You might think you’re protecting me, but you’re gonna get yourself killed if you keep jumping in like that.”

“That was really close this time. Too close. Please, promise me you’re gonna listen to me and be more careful in the future.”

[mockiingjay-blog1]

Hydrophobiic.

     johanna wasn’t used to others being concerned about her — after being left to fend for herself for so many years, a question like katniss’ was almost foreign. especially with the rocky start that she and the young woman from twelve had once begun with. something about katniss asking if johanna was okay made her heart ache in a way she hadn’t expected it to.

     a deflated sigh, and johanna sat up in her district-issued bed, leaning back slightly against the wall beside it.  “ honestly? not really, no – but, i think fucked up is the new normal for me, so it’s really hard to tell nowadays. ”    her voice cracked when she spoke, but she still forced a false lightheartedness to her tone that could NEVER be mistaken for actual composure.

     “ want to trade nightmare stories? ”  she knew katniss had them. every victor did.

          a   small   nod   as   she   shifted   slightly      -      made   herself   just   a   little   more   comfortable .      wasn’t   at   all   SURPRISED   when   johanna   asked   about   her   nightmares .      assumed   that   every   victor   knew .      that   nightmares   were   common   among   them .      just   like   she   wasn’t   surprised   at   the   other’s   words      -      the   statement   that   fucked   up   is   her   new   normal .      and   of   course   katniss   understood .      perhaps   had   never   gone   through   CAPITOL   TORTURE ,      but   had   certainly   had   the   same   thought .

          she   could   hear   the   forced   lightheartedness      -      wouldn’t   call   her   out   on   it ,      but   noticed .      would   take   it   into   account .      tried   to   decide   just   what   to   tell   johanna      -      not   that   she   had   any   shortage   of   NIGHTMARE   STORIES .      had   been   having   them   since   she   was   a   child      -      since   her   father   died .      instead   she’d   try   a   much   more   RECENT   one .      one   of   the   ones   she’d   been   having   ever   since   peeta   returned      -      a   shell   of   his   former   self .

          .“      i   had   a   dream   that   they   hijacked   prim .      ”      a   hard   swallow   as   grey   gaze   drifted   down   towards   the   floor .      couldn’t   quite   meet   her   gaze ,      even   if   she   knew   that   johanna   likely   wouldn’t   judge   her .      was   sure   that   johanna ,      much   like   everyone   else ,      loved   prim .      perhaps   not   as   much   as   katniss   did      (      because   how   could   anybody ?      prim   was   her   sister ,      and   the   only   person   katniss   truly   loves      )      but   plenty   to   likely   appreciate   the   pain   of   having   the   precious   girl   stolen   and   TRANSFORMED   into   something   she   undoubtedly   ISN’T .      “      she   tried   to   kill   me ,      just   like   peeta   did ,      and   she’s   starved   and   bruised .      and   she   didn’t   look   like   herself .      ”      a   heavy ,      shaky   breath   as   she   exhaled ,      didn’t   really   bother   to   try  to   HIDE   IT .      wasn’t   crying   yet ,      but   was   sure   that   if   she   kept   going   she   would   start .      “      what   about   you ?      ”

[mockiingjay-blog1]

ODAIRING.

       he’s  SURPRISED  at  the  gesture.  the  hot  chocolate seemed  a  very  finnick-move,  not  something  he’d  expect  from  katniss who,  like  the  stone in  the  hue  of  her  eyes,  is  cold and  unmovable.  perhaps  that  rock hard  exterior  wasn’t as  thick  as  he  thought.

      he  can’t  help  but  search for  her  angle  (  they  are  VICTORS,  after  all  ),  but  hot  chocolate  was  harmless.  more  importantly,  it  would  be  stupid to  refuse  an  act  of  kindness  in  a  place  like  this.  he’s  thinking that  PERHAPS  he’s  found  another  ally.

      he’s  pleased  that  she’s  willing to  play  along  with  the  lie,  when the  truth  is  evident.  because she  does  know,  right? haymitch  probably  mentioned it  to  her  and  lover  boy before  sending  them  off  to  mingle  with  the  other  victors.  that  it’s  an  outcome  to  be  aware  of  and  perhaps be  concerned  about.    

      it  DEFINITELY  has  occurred to  him  that  snow  is  planning  to  punish  Katniss for  her  behavior the  previous  year,  if  he  ISN’T already.  selling  her  body  would  be  an  efficient  way  to  go  about  it.  make  himself some  money  and  place  her  in  a  gilded  cage  in  a  single  move—all too  easy  to  tear  her  to  pieces. 

      there’s  a  knife  twisting  his  gut,  but  that  well  practiced  smile  is  a  flawless mask.

      “  don’t  have  to  ask  me  twice. i’m  usually  more  of  a  coffee  person, but  strangely  the  stuff  here  just  isn’t  the  same  as  in  district 4.  ”

          she didn't expect him to trust her,  of course.  (  wasn't STUPID.             after all,  she didn't trust him,  either  -  though she was beginning           to appreciate the fact that he was willing to speak with her.  )  but           it wasn't as if hot chocolate was exactly a risky endeavor.  wouldn't           be surprised when he accepted.

          she was yet  u n i n f o r m e d  about just what happened to victors  -             hadn't yet been targeted by snow.  hoped that any animosity he held           towards her was small enough that he wouldn’t try anything more.  after           all,  she was getting married for this  c h a r a d e  -  figured that would           be enough to keep her and her family safe.  no longer in danger of being           killed.  (  because she DID know about that  -  about snow's tendency to           kill the families of those who disobeyed.  had been threatened personally.             knew the threats weren't empty.  )  but FINNICK’S situation?  she was           sure there was something going on,  but didn't know just what it was.             hoped to find out,  if he was willing to share later on  -  if only to find out           what may lie in store for her.

          she'd stand  -  gesture for him to follow towards the dining room where           she knew the drink could be ordered.  (  still felt bad about asking the           avoxes to do things for her  -  always made sure to be just a little nicer           to them.  )

                   .“  i never really liked coffee.  too BITTER.  ”  and expensive.                           only had it a few times in her life,  but didn't much enjoy it                         when she did.  s p o k e n  as she'd lead him into the other                         room.    “  i don't think anything here's the same as in the                         districts,  though.  even normal things feel different.  ”  a                         pause.  “  i'm already ready to go back home.  ”

[mockiingjay-blog1]

ODAIRING.

       Finnick  isn’t  about  to  lecture  her  on  how  she  needs  to  get  over  it  and how  the  agony  of  loss  will  not  relent for  her.  he’s  sure  Katniss knows  this  and  that  a  useless  reminder  isn’t  going  to  propel  her  along  the  process  of  accepting  something so  twisted.  he’s  never  seen  Katniss  with  a  glimpse of  happiness,  here,  not  even  faux joy.  she  doesn’t laugh  or  smile  like  she  played  it  for  the  camera.  instead she  is  the  stone  eyed  survivor  that  dragged  herself through  hell  just  to  end  up  HERE.  he  isn’t  known  for  his  oceans  of  compassion,  but  the  least  he  can  do  is  try  to  help  her  out.  she  was  nearly a  friend.    

      a hefty  exhale  passed through  his  lips,  and  he  hops  to  his  feet.  

      “  You  are  SUCH  a  downer.  Think  you  need  some  fresh  air, maybe?  Come  with  me.  Let’s  go  find  some  trouble for  ourselves.  ”

          his suggestion that she come with him would be welcomed  -             the oppressive atmosphere of the room becoming more and more           s u f f o c a t i n g by the minute.  so perhaps the outdoors would           help the way the woods did when she was HOME.  she needed           serenity  -  something to help take her mind off death and destruction           for even only a few seconds.

          and even if it couldn't,  perhaps the distance and momentary escape           would be enough.  but whatever it meant,  she appreciated that finnick           offered.  would stand  -  prepared to follow him wherever he planned           to take her,  even if she wasn't entirely certain just why he chose to offer.             knew she wasn't exactly the most pleasant person to be around.

                   .“  yeah,  definitely.  ”  short,  but honestly appreciative as she                         prepared to follow him.  “  lead the way.  ”  didn't know what                         he had in mind,  but she figured a n y w h e r e would be better                         than there.

[mockiingjay-blog1]

ODAIRING.

       as  grey  hues  graze  the  marks  beneath  his  hands,  he  made  a  point  of  tugging  his  sleeve  lower.  not  because he  much  cared who  saw  them,  but  as  a  MESSAGE  to  katniss.  

      her  question caught  him  off  guard.  she  must  have  made  the  connection.  was  she  trying  to invade  the  scraps left  of  his  marred  privacy?  she  KNEW what  happened.  EVERYONE  knew.  did  she  want  details,  or something?  STOP  LOOKING AT  HIM  THAT  WAY.

      the  flash  of  anger  is  quickly muffled.  no, she  was  merely concerned.  she  didn’t  know  that was  severely  OFF LIMITS.  he  hoped  she  wouldn’t pry.  THIN  ICE  is no place  for  a  girl  on  fire.

      the  moment an  escape  is  presented, he  seizes  it.  

      “  Yeah,  it  was.  A  nightmare.  ”  

      his  tone  held  an  unintentional  stiffness.  it’s  not  as  if  he  had  much  issue  with  LYING, but  this  one  isn’t  really  a  lie.  last  night  was  tossed  in  the  overflowing bin  with  countless  others that  plagued  his  mind  and  soul.  they  were  ALL  nightmares.

      “  Hey,  I  appreciate  the  concern,  but  I’m  OKAY.  Watch— ”  he  flashed  her  two  thumbs up,  grin  tucked into  his  cheeks.

          she'd never been one to listen to gossip,  and when that was combined           with the fact that she hadn't yet spoken very deeply with the other victors,             it meant that she was still mostly ignorant of what went on behind closed           doors.  didn't know much at all.  after all,  peeta was the social one.  not her.

          but that didn't mean she was STUPID.  didn't mean that she wouldn't notice           the stiffness in his tone when he spoke.  knew that it was more than likely           that he was lying.  that there was something going on that she wasn't aware           of.  something he didn't want to tell her.

          not that she blamed him.  after all,  they were nearly strangers.  had only           known each other for a few days,  aside from their individual games.  not           that she really counted that as knowing him.  wouldn't want to be judged           based solely on her actions throughout the course of those few weeks.

          so she'd DROP IT.  wouldn't press further on the topic as she considered           it.  tried to decide what to do now.  wanted to get back on his good side  -             if only because he was one of the few people there who would actually           speak to her anymore aside from peeta,  who was still not necessarily a           good choice considering his anger that she'd only ever been pretending.

          at his final gesture,  she'd roll her eyes  -  finally deciding how to at least           a t t e m p t to make up for whatever it was she'd done to offend him.

                   .“  you know,  they have great hot chocolate here.  it always helps                         me feel a little better when i have nightmares.  want some?  ”                          as if she believed that his issue HAD been a nightmare.  wouldn't                         bother trying to pry any further into something that he was obviously                         uninterested in s h a r i n g.

[mockiingjay-blog1]

ODAIRING.

       Hot  breath  brushed  his  jaw,  nails  curled  around the  slope  of  his  shoulder, fingers  gripped  tight  against  bronze locks.  The  teeth  that  gnawed  the  skin  of  his  collarbone shone  through  peach  lips  peeled back  in  a  smile.

————–GOD, you’re  beautiful.  So fucking  beautiful.  

      She  was  arching  spines, breathless  words,  and  fresh  secrets spoken  like  a  prayer. He  was  bound  wrists,  lies  dripping  with  sweetness,  and  thinly  veiled MALICE.  The  whole  night  he  had  smiled  at  such  an  ugly face  and  explored  every  inch  of  a  body  he  wanted to  destroy.  His  thoughts  were  miles  away,  clinging  to  the  light  of  his  ANGEL, still  so  bright across  so  much  distance. And  it  was  always  bittersweet  how  she  was  all  that  kept  him  SANE, and  yet  was  his  greatest agony.

      Absently,  his  fingers  would  trace  the  scarlet  marks  that  circled like  bracelets  around his  wrist.  It  didn’t  hurt,  but  he  hated the  sight.

      There  is  a  slight jump  of  heart  at the  fingers  against his  shoulder,  and  he  watches Katniss  slip  into  the  seat  to  his  right.  Green  eyes  blink, waiting  for  a  lengthy  moment before  she  speaks.

      There’s  a  twisting  in  his  stomach.

      “  What  isn’t?  It’ll give  you  a  shorter  list,  ” He  mutters  with  a  cynical smile,  then  sighs  leaning  back  in  his  chair.  “  Just  a  rough  night.  I’m  tired and  didn’t  get  as  much  rest  as  I  would  have  liked. ”

          her first thought had been nightmares  -  something every victor           seemed to suffer from.  but a glimpse of his wrists would tell her           otherwise.  reddened skin spoke likely of restraints  -  the only           thing she could think of that MIGHT cause marks such as those           on both wrists at the same time.  not that she knew the purpose           of it.  didn't think that finnick had been arrested or she was sure           she would have heard something.  after all,  victors talk  -             something she'd learned well,  even over only the course of a few           days spent with them.

          his words wouldn't offer much further information.  after all,  a             '  rough night  '  could really mean just about anything.  from           several mild inconveniences to something h o r r i f i c.  though,             she was willing to bet that it was something leaning towards the           latter judging by the sigh that left his lips.

          it really was none of her business.  she shouldn't want so badly           to ask.  to find out just what atrocities had led to his so-called rough           night.  shouldn't be so c u r i o u s.  but it could be HER next,  right?             after all,  victors seemed to be treated similarly.  less bias against           their DISTRICTS and more against p e r s o n a l i t y.  popularity           with the crowd.  how recently they'd won.

                    .“  what happened?  ”  almost anxiously  -  through an uncertain                          lump in her throat as she looked back at H I M rather than the                          scarlet marks ringing his wrists.  it didn't demand an answer  -                            no real pressure put on it beyond the asking of the question                          itself.  “  it wasn't a nightmare,  was it?  ”  hoped he said yes,                            because at least she was slowly learning how to cope with                          those with peeta's assistance.  their mutual agreement to                          wake the other if they noticed it.

[mockiingjay-blog1]

HYDROPHOBIIC.

     johanna continued to idly comb through the soil with the sharp blade of her axe, almost entranced by the sight of the movement, rhythmic and searching for some sort of visual stimulation to distract from the emotional pain. katniss’ words would make her look up from where she sat, brows furrowed and eyes narrowing as she attempted to gauge the younger woman’s expression. 

     “ right? ” it wasn’t like she’d really expected her family’s deaths. she never thought snow would ACTUALLY go through with it. a light scoff escaped her, and she shook her head, using her free hand to push away her bangs, wet from perspiration from the humid, hot jungle. “ i thought that, MAYBE, if snow had the balls to taunt you and finnick about YOUR loved ones, that maybe, mine— ”

     some hesitation was present as johanna’s gaze moved to the dense tropical forestry surrounding them. there were no jabberjays left to scream, no voices familiar, nothing but disappointment.

     “ …maybe i’d hear them again. not that i was right. what a pointless idea. ”  she fell silent again, chewing on her lip.  “ as if being THROWN back into the arena wasn’t a big enough slap in the face, huh? ”

          she'd never exactly considered it.  never thought about how the           other's family had died.  barely knew that they were dead apart from           the slight references to having nobody that the other woman made.             but it made sense.  spoke PLENTY about just why johanna was so           willing to scream about how much she hates snow and the capitol           so openly and without fear.  because he had nothing left to use against           her.  had already killed them all.

          she was a warning to the others,  katniss supposed.  an example of           what would happen if a victor defies him.  but it would make katniss           wonder just what it was that johanna did to end up with her entire family           dead.  made her all the more determined to be careful.  not to give him           an even bigger reason to hurt her sister and her mother and gale.             because johanna PROVED that he would do it.  that his threats were           all too real.  all too serious.

          she'd take a few steps  c l o s e r  when the other didn't seem to be           preparing to hit her with the axe in her hands,  though katniss would           still stay out of immediate range of the blade.  refused to let her guard           down entirely  -  listening carefully even as she spoke.

                   .“  that'd be too  g e n e r o u s  of him.  ”  morbid,  but TRUE.                           spoken flatly as she took a deep breath  -  tried not to remember                         the desperate  (  fake  )  screams of prim and gale.  “  for what                         it's worth,  i'd be h a p p y to let you have some of mine.  ”  deadpan  -                         almost a j o k e,  though with a perfectly neutral delivery that would                         prevent it from being funny.

[mockiingjay-blog1]

ODAIRING.

       His  voice  is  a  purr, picking  up  on  the  hint  of  amusement  quirking at  her  lips.  He  gestures around  them  with  a  slight shake  of  his  head,  

      “  Do  you  hear  any  complaints?  I  certainly  don’t. You’re  just  jealous  I  look  better with  less  clothes.  It’s  tricky  to  pull  off,  precious few  have  this  gift  and  know  what  to  do  with  it.  ”

      Parties  really don’t  seem  like  the  girl  on  fire’s  comfort zone,  but  nonetheless she  does  belong here  with  the  victors.  Unlike her  star-crossed  lover, Katniss  had  dug  her  way,  tooth  and  nail  through HELL  with  the  wits—the GUTS  to  survive, and  emerged  the  other  side  just  like  the  rest of them.  PEETA’S  victory was  an  accident. Just  like  his  ANGEL,  Peeta  is  not  a  survivalist.  He  won  on  a  fluke.

      He  can  see  it  in  her  composure,  the  way  she  is  never  quite  relaxed, that  the  hauntings  are  still  clinging to  the  back  of  her  mind.  That  she  is  clever  enough to  realize,  even  now  they  are  still playing  Snow’s  dangerous little  game.  

      At  her  inquiry,  he  idly  swirls his  glass,  watching the  liquid  lining the  bottom  spread across  the  cone  shaped  inside.

      “  Johanna’s  hard  to  predict but  if  I  had  to  guess,  I’d  say  it’s  because  she  doesn’t  like her  clothes  and  wants them  off.  ”  

      Gaze  flits  back  to  the  others, dull  and  grey,  wearing  his  usual  smirk. Shoulders  shrug  before he  drapes  an  arm around the  couch’s  backrest, easing  against  the  velvet  cushions.

      “  Katniss,  you  look  so  stiff.  I’m  not  telling you  to  enjoy  yourself, but  maybe  don’t  look  so  miserable.  ”

          another roll of grey eyes as she scanned the room.  took in the           sight of others drinking and laughing and talking.  it all felt hollow,             though.  p o i n t l e s s.  a celebration in the midst of horror that           she couldn't keep herself from thinking about even as finnick stood           utterly pants-less before her and johanna seemed to be preparing           to do something s i m i l a r.  

          not that she particularly  b l a m e d  the others.  she imagined that           after being around DEATH for so long that it was easier to ignore           the outside world.  easier to pretend that so many wouldn't be dead           so soon and instead  f o r g e t  about all the terrible things happening           in favor of a party.  so perhaps she understood,  but still didn't very           much appreciate it.  certainly wouldn't particularly enjoy finnick's           suggestion that she try not to look so miserable,  even if it would           make her aware of the f r o w n that had once again settled back           into her expression.

                   .“  really?  and what do you suggest?  that i get drunk and                         end up hungover tomorrow morning?  what about the kids                         relying on us to help them?  ”  perhaps more accusatory                         than she intended,  but would still carry her point across                         perfectly.  wouldn't be apologized for.  after all,  she could                         still clearly remember exactly how aggravating it had been                         when haymitch refused at first to mentor her and peeta                         seriously.  how nervous it made her that she would be                         relying on a DRUNK for her own survival.

          not that her quarrel was with finnick in the slightest.  however,             he DID happen to be the one speaking to her.  the one listening.             and even if she still had to be careful of snow,  it was no secret           that their tributes lives rested in part in their hands.

[mockiingjay-blog1]

ODAIRING.

       It  is  an  act  of  kindness  he  is  in  no  position to  appreciate.  He  DOESN’T CARE  who  sees  him  cry.  It  isn’t  a  secret  he’s  shattered  and  hanging  on  white knuckled,  by  a  thread  (  so  few  mysteries have  ever  revolved around  what  he  might  have  kept  private  )  ,  but  whether  she’s  doing  him  any  favors by  sticking  around remains  to  be  seen.  Oh,  but  he’s  LONELY, more  alone  than  he’s  ever  been.  His  body  is  starved  for  touch, for  some  sort  of  comfort to  cling  to,  and  Katniss is  here.  She  is  something when  he  is  surrounded  by  empty  oceans, miles  of  sand.  

      At  her  question,  he  shakes  his  head,  drawing his  knees  close  to  his  chest  and  balls  his  hands  into  fists.  He  presses  the  palms  on  either  side  of  his  skull.  Fingers lace  and  snag  against  bronze tangles,  eyes  are  squeezed  shut  and  seeping  with  salt  water. He  is  on  FIRE. Flames  are  licking at  the  walls  of  his  mind,  pounding with  his  heart  against  his  cracked  chest  as  if  desperate for  escape.  A  sob  escapes his  throat  when  he  wants  to  SCREAM.  What  sick  irony  that  he  is  FIGHTING  to  fill  his  lungs  when  he  wants  nothing more  than  to  leave  them  empty. The  wildfire  is  whirling  through his  mind,  roaring  against his  ears,  and  he  is  nothing until  the  crackling grows  infrequent.  His  ribs  are  expanding and  contracting  with  slow,  short  breaths.  His  hands  wrap  around  his  knees.  Time  passes  and  he  breathes deeper,  then  manages to  lift  his  head.

      She  is  still  there. Why  is  she  still  there?

      He  swallows dryly,  and  eases  his  knees  out  in  front  of  him.  He’s  resting  his  head  in  his  hand  when  he  murmurs  weakly,

      “  So,  you  aren’t  still  pissed at  me  over  the  plan  in  the  arena? ”

          was she angry at him?  no.  she'd since come to her senses  -             realized that he wasn't the one in charge of choosing who was           rescued first.  wasn't any longer b i t t e r about the fact that           she'd been left out of it.  (  it was probably for the best,  right?             after all  -  she would have insisted that peeta be saved.  would           have been even angrier than she was now.  )  but even then,  it           wouldn't have been f i n n i c k behind it,  right?  would have been           plutarch or another rebel leader.

          besides,  that didn't matter anymore.  they were on the same team.             both wanted to bring those captive back.  wanted to see the capitol           knocked out of power and the games end.  so she'd shake her head,             hand moving to uncertainly pat him on the back before letting her           hand fall back down to her side.

                   .“  not really.  ”  spoken as she shifted weight from one foot                         to the other.  undoubtedly not the best at providing comfort  -                           never really had been when it came to anyone other than                         prim.  “  y o u weren't the one who decided who they picked                         up.  ”  more for herself than him.  a reassurance that it was                         true.  that he wasn't the one who condemned peeta to whatever                         horrors he faced in the capitol.  after all,  must he be thinking                         the same thing as her?  that he would rather be in annie’s                         place.

[mockiingjay-blog1]

HYDROPHOBIIC.

     johanna wasn’t used to others being concerned about her — after being left to fend for herself for so many years, a question like katniss’ was almost foreign. especially with the rocky start that she and the young woman from twelve had once begun with. something about katniss asking if johanna was okay made her heart ache in a way she hadn’t expected it to.

     a deflated sigh, and johanna sat up in her district-issued bed, leaning back slightly against the wall beside it.  “ honestly? not really, no – but, i think fucked up is the new normal for me, so it’s really hard to tell nowadays. ”    her voice cracked when she spoke, but she still forced a false lightheartedness to her tone that could NEVER be mistaken for actual composure.

     “ want to trade nightmare stories? ”  she knew katniss had them. every victor did.

          of course katniss related to the other's words,  even if she wouldn't           have put it the same way.  n o t h i n g  had been okay in a long time.             in fact,  compared to now,  katniss almost WANTED to go back to before.             back to when her biggest concern was putting food on the table for her           family  -  not the fate of the entire nation.  not rebellion.  when she wasn't           the mockingjay.  when she was just katniss everdeen  -  a girl from           district twelve.

          but she couldn't,  and there was absolutely no reason to bother thinking           about what could have been.  no use in wishing things were different.  but           she wouldn't be fooled by johanna's false lightheartedness  -  not that she           would mention it.  wasn't interested in prying into the other's unhappiness           when she already understood the pain perfectly.  knew she wouldn't want           anyone else digging into her own.

                   .“  sure.  ”  slightly h e s i t a n t as she moved  -  leaned back                          against the wall adjacent to her own bed.  “  what was yours?  ”

[mockiingjay-blog1]

@odairing​.

         she didn't know WHAT was wrong with finnick,  but there          was something.  and as imperceptive as she tended to be          when it came to people and emotions,  that really was saying          something.  not that she knew what to do about it.  had never          been particularly good at providing comfort or helping others.            but finnick had been kind enough to her  -  had been helping          more than haymitch did.

         she would take a deep breath,  approaching and placing a          gentle hand on his shoulder in an attempt at comfort.  a light          pat as she moved to sit down beside him.  wordless for a long          moment as she tried to decide what to say.

                  .“  hey.  ”  simple enough.  a rather noninvasive start.                     .“  what’s wrong?  ”  a little bit less casual,  but not                        demanding enough to force an answer.

[mockiingjay-blog1]

continued.  {  @odairing.  }

     His  head  tilts  toward the  victor,  brows  knitted  with  mock  sympathy. “ Aw,  is  the  girl  on  fire  a  little  burned out?  How  unfortunate  since  mentoring  is  a  LIFELONG  gig.  Just  look  at  Mags,  still  hobbling around  with  that  cane  and  whacking  our  tributes  around the  ankles.  ”

     Despite  his  playful  attitude, that  fact  remained that  mentoring  was  severely taxing  on  the  mind  and  soul,  especially for  RECENT  VICTORS.  A  certain  DETACHMENT  was  required  to  drag  yourself through  every  games, a  detachment  that  could  only  be  learned through  EXPERIENCE.  Ones  like  Finnick  who  had  lost  enough  kids  and  witness enough  horror  for  a  thousand lifetimes  were  a  bit  NUMB  to  it.  The  images  plagued him  a  little bit  less  each  year.  The  screams  meshed with  background  noise  and  buckets of  blood  was  just  part  of  the  scenery.  

     It  is  with  a  more  serious tone,  barely  pricked with  sympathy  that  he  says,  “ Don’t  worry  too  much,  you’ll get  used  to  it  after  a  while. ”

          an icy,  grey GLARE directed towards the other  -  less willing           to accept jokes than perhaps she ought to be.  not yet desensitized           to the thought of the two tributes in her care dying.  she didn't expect           sympathy.  not from her fellow victors,  at least.  certainly not the           ones who’d been doing it for years.  the ones like finnick,  who had          seen so many die.

          so when she received little consolation,  she wouldn't be surprised.             wouldn't be annoyed or upset.  (  or,  rather,  any more so than she           was NOW.  )  in fact,  she was surprised enough that even that slight           tinge of sympathy lingered at the edge of his tone.  and at that her           glare would s o f t e n the slightest bit as she offered a sigh.

                   .“  can't burn out if you don't want to be here in the first place.  "                           not that anybody did,  and she knew t h a t as well as anyone.                           (  even if she STILL wasn't so certain about the mentors of                         districts one and two.  the ones that won the majority of the                         time.  )  "  besides you're not from an outlying district.  you                         at least have a CHANCE.  "  perhaps spiteful,  but the pain                         and anger brewing in her veins needed something to lash                         out at,  and he merely happened to be the person there.                           listening.  she wasn't sure she could take it anymore.  was                         going to go INSANE if she kept thinking about it.  if she didn't                         manage to actually sleep soon after nights full of nightmares                         and insomnia that led up to the reaping  -  only worsening                         once she arrived in the capitol once again.

[mockiingjay-blog1]

continued.  {  @odairing.  }

      It’s  as  if  his  lungs  refuse  to  obey,  each  breath  sporadic against  the  palm  of  his  hand  clamped tightover  his  mouth. Eyes  are  stretched wide  against  the  darkness,  flowing with  tears  that  trace  the  curve  of  his  jaw  and  drop  like  rain  upon  the  hospital  sheets.

     The  reek  of  gore  and  filth  still  clung  to  his  senses,  just  as  the  image  of  his  DARLING  would  haunt  the  inside  of  his  eyelids. Skin  gaunt  as  a  corpse, bare  chest  ever  so  faintly rising  and  falling, dark  locks  matted with  the  splatters of  crimson  that  stretched  to  either  side  like  his  ANGEL’S  WINGS. He  heard  her  croaking voice,  he  could  still hear  it  TORTURING his  mind.  

—————–Finnick?  Finnick?  Don’t leave  me  here.  PLEASE. Finnick!  Finnick!  HELP me!  SAVE  me!  I  CAN’T  TAKE  THIS

     And  he  KNOWS it  was  only  a  nightmare,  but  the  terror coursing  through  his  veins  is  REAL and  icy  cold.  He  KNOWS her  screams  do  not  emanate from  a  jabber  jay  or  any  fabrications  of  his  mind,  NO. They  too  are  REAL.

     IF  there  is  any  righteousness in  this  shit  world, then  he  prays  it  will  let  his  sweetheart  DIE.  

     A  shaking  has  wracked  his  body,  free  hand  clasped around  Katniss’s  so  tightly  he  must be  hurting  her.  He  hasn’t a  clue  how  much  time  has  passed before  his  grip  gradually  loosens, and  he  whispers a  reply,

     “  I-It’s  fine.  It’s  fine.  You don’t  h-have  to  stay  here.  ”  

          she understood the nightmares.  how they had a way of           convincing you they were REAL  -  not dreams.  it was why           she had woken him when she noticed  -  symptoms easy           enough to read when one knows what to look for and,  in           some cases,  even if you don't.  and so she wouldn't complain           at the tight grip of his hand,  even if some part of her still tried           to edge away from the physical contact.  still wasn't accustomed           to having other people touch her in even the most innocent of           ways.

          but even as his grip loosened,  she wouldn't entirely pull away  -             hand instead only shifting slightly in response,  the return of blood           flow to her fingers certainly a positive.  after all,  if this was what           would help him,  she could deal with it for a few minutes.

          she could only i m a g i n e the terrors that haunted his dreams  -             what had drawn him into such a state of tears and gasping breaths.             all she knew was that she couldn't leave him alone with those thoughts.             not when she hadn't been able to sleep anyways.  when she was           haunted by her own capitol-produced demons.

                   .“  i’m not leaving.  ”  a statement rather than an offer.  “  you                         want to talk about it?  ”  she knew what her own answer                         would have been  -  didn't particularly expect the other to                         want to open up and wouldn’t p r e s s if he refused.  had                         only asked because now she was sure they were on the                         same side now. going through similar pain,  even if she                         KNEW his was worse.  that he loved annie.  knew how he                         felt about her without even a shadow of a doubt.

[mockiingjay-blog1]

continued.  {  @odairing.  }

      Has  the  Capitol darling  downed  one  too  many  daquiris?  Yes.  Does  that  mean  stripping his  pants  off  is  something he  wouldn’t  do  sober? No.  

     “  Do  you  think  FINNICK  ODAIR needs  a  reason?  Catch, ”  He  says,  balling up  the  fabric and  tosses  it  at  their  newest  VICTOR.  “  Consider it  a  random act  of  kindness. ”  

     Calloused  hands  slip  around his  lime  green  beverage  and  press  the  rim  to  his  lips,  mischievous gaze  fixed  on  the  other.

     “  I’m  surprised  you  questioned  it,  actually.  You  don’t  say  ANYTHING when  Johanna strips  naked.  Sounds like  somebody  has  particular taste  you  LOVER-BOY  isn’t  gonna  satisfy. ”

          the fabric would be caught without thought,  though she’d           toss them to the s i d e after a moment with a shake of her           head.  grey eyes would R O L L as he spoke,  watching on           from her seat  -  her first drink only halfway gone.  didn't           plan on waking up the next morning with a h a n g o v e r.             didn't want to lose her own inhibitions when there were too           many secrets that could be spilled.  too much risk of saying           something that might hurt her or someone she l o v e d.

                   ."  no,  but apparently you need a reason to keep                         them on.  "  perfectly deadpan  -  though the                         slightest edge of amusement might make itself                         known in the way the corner of her lips twitched                         slightly into a nearly-imperceptible smirk.  "  what's                         with you two and taking off your clothes,  anyways?  "                           she’d choose to IGNORE the implication lying within                         the other’s words.  didn’t have to justify herself to                         him,  of all people.

[mockiingjay-blog1]

HYDROPHOBIIC.

     johanna didn’t make much of an effort to move where she was, instead shifting an arm, no longer wrapped around her drawn up legs, but beside her, gripping the handle of her axe. there was no violent intend toward katniss, in spite of the countless empty threats and explosions she’d had toward the younger victor. instead, johanna just used the sharp blade to dig around at the dirt next to where she sat, listening to katniss’ answer.

     “ finnick’s got nothing to worry about, ”  was her reply, her poorly displayed anger already simmering down into something much less hopeful. it was nice that her friend was concerned about her, at least, even if he wasn’t the one who’d come to see her. her gaze remained on the axe until she heard katniss’ inquiry. it would cause her to glance up a bit, brown eyes focusing on the girl who’d stepped even closer.

     the idea of being remotely vulnerable around katniss was daunting — johanna was supposed to protect her, yes, but the goal had always been to be disproportionately AGGRESSIVE as to throw off the capitol, to keep katniss in the dark about her role as the mockingjay. johanna did feel a little guilty about being so mean, though she figured it wouldn’t matter much in the long run. she’d likely end up dead soon anyways.

     “ there isn’t anything going on. ”  she licked her lips, a bit chapped from the wether, averting her gaze once again.  “ that’s just the problem, isn’t it? you think you might get a chance to hear someone one last time, but they’re dead for good. coming out here was a stupid idea. ”

          she'd watch the way the other grasped her axe  -  an action that           made her stop moving forward.  didn't want to risk an attack on the           off chance that she was preparing to attack,  even if katniss had seen           her do it before  -  seemed to be more of a habit than a threat.  but           katniss didn't plan to risk it.  didn't want to end up hacked to pieces just           because she couldn't keep her distance.

          at least from there she'd have a few seconds to react before the           axe hit her.  might have a moment to draw her bow.

          but she wouldn't step back,  either.  instead,  she'd merely l i s t e n           as johanna spoke  -  the other's openness taking her by surprise.             dark brows lifted slightly  -  arms crossing as she met the woman's           gaze,  shifting back to the axe only once the contact was broken.

          she certainly hadn't expected the other to tell her anything REAL.             didn't take her as the type to open up  -  especially so not to her.             words strangely haunting.  brought back memories of her mother.             of prim.  of gale.  the people she'd never gotten the chance to say           g o o d b y e to.  but that was different,  wasn't it?  at least she           knew they were still alive.  but still,  she understood.  her father  -             the person she knew she'd never hear again.  the person she           wanted to see so badly,  even if the pain of his death had only           dulled into a deep-seated ache.

                   ."  maybe.  but there've been worse.  "  plenty of worse                         ideas.  the implementation of this particular quarter quell                           (  and the hunger games in general  )  an e x a m p l e of                         one.  "  unexpected deaths are the worst ones.  "  wouldn't                         go any further.  certainly didn't trust the woman enough to                         spill all her secrets to her.  the story of her life.  not that she                         was the best at comforting others even when she wanted to.