pound cake.

[goodreadss]

I’m still learning to love the parts of me that no one claps for.

Rudy Francisco (via goodreadss)

[whitegirlsaintshit]

men only love two things in this world:

1) lying 2) ruining everything good and then lying about who did it

[f0rgemaster]

I could say this about women and youd be losing your shit

[whitegirlsaintshit]

because you’d be lying… which proves my point.

[infpisme]

[humansofnewyork]

“After twenty years of marriage, I caught my husband cheating and had to leave him. But honestly, I wish I’d gotten my divorce much sooner. For so long I’d been denying my right to be an individual. The family had become so much more important than my dreams. I had small joys back then: getting a brand new car, having our 20th anniversary, when my son got into college. But now the intensity is so much greater. I’m doing all the things I love to do. I studied nutrition and got a job at the hospital. I buy whatever I want. I watch cartoons. I never miss a Shrek movie. I go to the orchestra at least once a month. And right now I’m coming back from a class on finance. I’m going to invest in the stock market and get a house by the beach.” (São Paulo, Brazil)

[naturaekos]

You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.

Maya Angelou (via naturaekos)

[poolmoss]

[anamorphosis-and-isolate]

Sylvia Plath from The Unabridged Journals Of Sylvia Plath

[modaltruths]

it finally happened. i didn’t expect the talk to go the way it did. i stopped expecting the talk altogether really. but now it’s all out there. even the thing i still don’t know how to talk about or want to talk about is out there. i feel both quiet and loud. i don’t really know how i feel right now. i should be writing monos right now. i should let one of the them knocking at my door hold me right now. but all i want to do is cry in his arms, something i should have done months ago but didn’t get the chance to do. now, i am numb. i don’t know how to cry anymore and that terrifies me. it scares me even more that i still care about him, after everything.  i hate myself.

[modaltruths]

We’ve been fighting so much lately. I know it’s me. I’ve been even more cold, distant, and closed up since Doug’s passing. I know he’s been trying. All he wants to do is genuinely care about me and get me to open up, get help, and talk, but I can’t seem to give a shit. It’s not like I didn’t tell him what an awful mess I am. It’s not like he doesn’t know how incredibly lost I am. He knows I’m not ready for anything real.  “You have got to stop treating me like I’m him, like every man is out here to hurt you. It’s destructive. I’m not that dumb piece of shit, I’m not your dad either.” He finally broke and told me this in his drunken rant after his premier party. It wasn’t suppose to turn out like that. It was suppose to be a celebratory moment. We were suppose to fuck till we pass out before he left for New York. Instead, we fought, I cried, I told him, “I don’t know what needs to happen for me to not feel this way anymore. I don’t know if I’ll ever be whole again.” We didn’t resolve the fight. He just held me until I stopped crying and wanted to go to bed. A few days of silence later, he texted me an apology and asked for forgiveness for something that he has no fault in. I feel fucking awful. I wish I wasn’t so jaded. I wish I wasn’t so fucking destructive, especially in a time when I need love the most. 

[modaltruths]

[modaltruths]

I can’t believe you’re not here anymore. I still don’t think it’s real. I still don’t really know how to feel. It’s been two days and I still can’t wrap my head around it. Your death is a reminder that our time here is so short and we shouldn’t take each other for granted. I wish I was there for you more-- to fight your demons with you. I wish our relationship wasn’t so strained after everything. I wish I told you ‘I forgive you’ before you left. I don’t know if it matters, but I forgive you.  I hope your family can find peace after you’ve gone. R.I.P Doug

With Love, Winnie

[modaltruths]

I’ve been having a fist fight with my depression. I am getting my ass whopped. I am tired. I am tired of taking L’s.

[justforsmiles]

[modaltruths]

thought i was just going to grab a juice and guava pie at my favorite guava pie place before my last meeting yesterday. instead, i also caught a glimpse of satan and had an anxiety attack and almost threw up. lol.

[modaltruths]

i still feel it lingering like a bad house guest who refuses to leave. some days are better than others. some days i’m perfectly clear of my worth and how much better i am in the truth of this reality. other days i feel like i can’t get out of bed. it feels like i haven’t stopped the moment all of this hit, i was already in the middle of everything: my mom’s sickness, my family rapidly crumbling while I frantically try to glue things back together, my ex’s friendship with me mutating, my career not being where i want it to be, and me slowly but surly slipping back into my depression. him doing what he did was just the last straw on this camels back. i don’t even know if him staying would’ve helped me, he was never mine to begin with, he was never going to go on this journey with me.

everything happens for a reason or that’s what i like telling myself. he had to happen in order for me to break and rebuild. i was too comfortable being everyone’s everything. i’m learning to be a little more selfish now. my walls, ever so vulnerable, but nonetheless back up, higher than ever. i don’t want this haunting me anymore.

[yung-smoov]

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

You deserve something you don’t have to question. You deserve someone who is sure of you.

r.h. Sin (via onlinecounsellingcollege)