ModernEquineBelle

Losing all of my thoughts somewhere... here seems like a good place.

[modernequinebelle]

RANT ABOUT MEN

Ok. Women can be crazy we all know that and I'm not innocent.

But if we don't reply to our men they get mad.

Yet its acceptable for them to not reply to us when we can clearly see they're online, facebook, twitter etc....

When we mention the double standards, we're acting crazy and clingy and 'should let them just be men'. I hear that line about once a week.

WHAT IS UP WITH THAT!

[modernequinebelle]

My Version of Love

Love comes into your life in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Some loves are meant to last, some loves are meant to teach you something and then slip away into the deep, dark cracks of your mind.

Love can appear in the form of a true friend. This is a lasting love. A friend who will be there for you through any trouble is a friend you will have for life. Care for that love, don't let it fade.

Love can appear in the form of a partner. A first love, not always meant to stay forever, can be the greatest teacher of them all. Sweet and new, experiencing beautiful emotions for the first time. Then there's the 'life experience' love. This kind of love teaches you new things about yourself as you grow and discover the person you want to be. It can also show you quite clearly and rapidly the kind of person you do not want to be.

Lastly there's the most sad kind of love. The kind of love that lingers under the covers of your heart not quite discovered or released, but yet lies there waiting for the right time, the right moment, the right words... and those times, moments and words may never come. This love is the most frustrating, but if finally released, the most rewarding.

He left for the great west when I was 19. Both of us were seeing other people and have continued to do so ever since but timing (and alcohol) have lead us to at least let some of the love out into words and a couple of stolen kisses too powerful and overwhelming to repeat. His heart is a free bird, always roaming, it knows its true home but his path is not pointing in that direction and neither can say if it ever will. I dream about him often. I wonder what our life would be like, if we would slot perfectly into each other like I always thought.

I am in love now with another man. He frustrates and challenges me but has shown me a tougher, more resilient side of my heart that needed to be developed. I can picture a life with him, too. It would work. Would I be happy? Or would I always wonder what if. 

What if?

[modernequinebelle]

Gemmy at 6 months!

[modernequinebelle]

Gemmy at 2 months

[modernequinebelle]

inspired and sad

beautiful moments

are shared by both feeling in awe and a wave of sadness

in awe of the pure magic occurring at your very fingertips

sadness because it will soon be over

that moment will be lost forever

try as you may, it will never be recreated

how do we savour that moment knowing it is almost gone?

hold on a little longer, a little tighter, fight for it

breathe in the scent, let your eyes focus, revel in the brilliance

and when it is gone, close your eyes

smile, cherish the beauty, lock it away in your treasured memories

and begin the search for the next

[modernequinebelle]

Me Without You

Its amazing. I can already feel the warmth. Its deep inside, somewhere in my heart locked in a golden Pandora's box waiting to make its return. The light is the good in me, that shined through because of you. Because of your beauty, your truth, your integrity and your never-ending ability to see that light in me no matter how dim it was. No matter how much doubt I carried, how much I thought that light was lost forever. The biggest mistake I ever made was letting that light burn out, not fighting for it. I should have. Funny how we figure that out later. After all this time, its so close I can feel it with my fingertips, soft and beautiful, ready to come back and this time stay for eternity. I want to reach out and grab it and never let go. I don't want to go back to me without you.

[modernequinebelle]

Teaching a big old dressage horse how to jump!

[modernequinebelle]

It's that time of year again!!! GO PENS GO

[modernequinebelle]

The south lost the battle and children lose their youth, the best day of my life was on the day that I lost you.

The Band Perry "Forever Mine Nevermind"

[modernequinebelle]

Sleep is overrated.

Last night was both magical, disturbing and absolutely mind boggling. How is it you can want to hear destiny-altering words from more than one person, only to have them both spilling those words out to you in one night. That's when I wish I had a little alien making the decisions for me up there. See the future and tell me where I'll end up happy. Can't it be that easy sometimes?

[judgemyride]

“A horse who loves to jump gathers toward the fence with a trembling electricity so patent that some horsemen say they can feel it in the roots of their hair. As the horse makes his final approach to a fence, it matters not how much the rider wants or hopes or prays. It matters not what whip he carries or how often he nudges with sharp spurs. The horse who jumps well jumps for the joy of flight; the rider he brings along with him receives a bountiful gift that is completely undeserved.”-Elizabeth Letts, The Eighty Dollar Champion

(via judgemyride)

[500fairytales]

There are riders who make it happen, riders who watch it happen, and riders who wonder what happened.

Jim Wofford (via 500fairytales) I am all of these riders at one point or another.  (via becoming-ben-maher)

[fatcoookies]

YAAAAASS

[modernequinebelle]

[modernequinebelle]

Quiet people have the loudest minds.

Stephen Hawking

[equestrianandmusical]

[modernequinebelle]

ain't that the truth. sometimes we forget how beautiful silence can be.

[modernequinebelle]

The Middle

In amongst the ins and outs, blacks and whites of daily life is something we call 'the middle'. The 50 shades of blurred grey that twist and confuse us, surprise us, muddle the clarity and leave us tired and wanting at the end of the day.

Oh, to be caught in 'the middle'. It buries us in questions, that we may or may not be able to answer alone. In the midst of it, we feel weak and helpless. It complicates the black and white, but when cleared it leaves us stronger.

You see, we need the middle. We need it to grow, develop, mature, learn, strengthen, and earn our character. It is the middle that shapes the true self.