ETHOS PATHOS LOGOS

[overclassy]

[midnightinshadow]

[alcrego]

Noisy fountains of silence

'We the noise' series, 2018.

[tall]

[modes-ty]

I’m just over here reading the cringe ass shit I wrote about this man when I was like 15

So younger me was absolutely hilarious, but I’m not shocked. Reading my posts have entertained me but also made me cringe. Like absolutely writhing in embarrassment but fuck it I was a lover girl and wrote about literally everything on this blog at some point lol.

BUT THEN I READ AND REALIZED I DROPPED OUT OF THE FACE OF THE PLANET WHEN I TOLD THIS MAN I WAS INFATUATED WITH HIM. THOSE WERE MY EXACT WORDS. IN MY FIFTEENTH YEAR OF LIFE.

I still have this tendency of being like okay I’ve seen enough time to pack it up and run away.

I had a vibe I embarassed myself and ran tf away. I couldn’t just remember what I did. I vaguely remember that whenever I’d tell someone I shot my shot with some guy I believed was out of my league at the time, I’d remember him. But my mind really does protect me from remembering things that would embarrass tf out of me.

I to some extent feel the same way I did when I was younger. Why would he be interested in me? I’m not x, y or z. I’ve sat with that for a while. I was absolutely nervous speaking with him and still struggled to look at him. I kept thinking what if he doesn’t find me attractive when we see each other. I could also sense myself being very guarded because I honestly didn’t want to put too much stock into something when I wasn’t looking for anything serious. I think what has me unsettled is that, I went, I saw him and it took me out of the peaceful phase I was just in where I didn’t give anyone attention anymore. I’ve been so discouraged from my past experiences that I just kept to myself. Then he is still figuring out his life. I’m doing the same but clearly I am up hyperanalyzing why this high school crush is making me feel all kinds of unsettled. I’ve since learned I’m in limerence and I have to give people the space to prove themselves. I’m in a place where I want to absolutely give up. It’s taken a lot for me not to write a long text and be like hey nice knowing you I can’t do this I’m protective of my peace and associate closeness with pain these days lol. My friend has since talked me off the ledge. He’s told me that if he wasn’t open entirely then I need to give him time to do that and that I can’t give all of myself at once.

Fine. I just don’t like the mental chess. I don’t like overinvesting.

[morickyyy]

[doggosource]

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[modes-ty]

The thing that pains me is when I basically have tears streaming down my face and you never care to comfort me

Once I leave the room you’ll unpause the TV like I interrupted you with my sobs

Imagine that

That couldn’t be me

It’s this type of behavior that makes hearts grow colder

I don’t want to be generous

I don’t want to be as open

I never want to feel like this again

[stuckinapril]

“I don’t like Motaz anymore!” “We should cancel Bisan!!” “Should we support Palestine if Motaz has xyz belief??” the answer is it’s a GENOCIDE. You should not even be glorifying these people in the first place, that you’re shocked by their actions to the point of no longer supporting Palestine. You should not be caring about Palestine because you have two genocide blorbos you’re unhealthily attached to. You should be supporting Palestine because people are dying, babies are losing their lives on birth, whole cities are being razed to the ground, and an entire country’s being erased in live time. You should be supporting Palestine because you value human life. I don’t know how many times people need to hear it for it to stick. Palestine is not a trend. Palestine is not a trend.

[stuckinapril]

[stuckinapril]

I do think this is pretty clear it’s not what the post is about, but I’d also like to add that this isn’t in support of Motaz’s recent “joke” against Sudanese people. I read up on this situation and tbh, I totally agree he was out of line in saying what he did & it’s important to hold him accountable for it. Antiblackness is no laughing matter, and I think it’s okay to acknowledge two things at once: that Motaz was out of line for his comment, and that that doesn’t make the movement towards Palestinian liberation any less valid. That’s what weird: people using Motaz's opinions as a springboard to denounce the free palestine movement. That's what's being rightfully perceived as wrong.

Motaz’s comments are also being used as fuel to paint all Arabs as racist. That’s the issue. The moment people see a chance to dehumanize Arab people/make them into those one dimensional backwards Neanderthals, they take it.

[threemouthedcanine]

Has anyone making these kinds of "you uppity KNEEGROWS better not abandon the free palestine movement" actually seen anything conveying this sentiment, or are we just fully jumping at antiblack shadows?

I do not think this post is warranted nor productive, if you truly are against antiblackness surely you understand how odd it is to immediately start portraying Black people who are rightfully upset at antiblack comments as being ready to "denounce" a whole movement or become racist towards Arabs.

Black people are allowed to be upset and frustrated and express that without having a million nonblack people preemptively jumping down our throats because they think Black people are histrionic uppity whiners always trying to "cancel" people.

Bonus tweets that illustrate my point better:

[vialium]

Last tweet especially speaks to me cause I cannot tell you how many nonblack leftists think that Black people are rabid knuckle draggers chomping at the bit to “cancel” any and everyone over any perceived slight valid or not. Nonblack leftists just like their far right counterparts cannot see us for what we are, fully complex and realized human beings who can walk and chew gum at the same time. They think they have to preemptively direct the savage Black thought and baseless rage to keep us on target when quite literally every Black person I’ve ever seen supporting Palestine has basically said, “We still support you, we still will fight for you cause wrong is wrong but it’s fucked up you’d say that when we are all suffering from the effects of global white supremacy.” Like be fucking fr y’all

[before-life]

Mount Fuji, Japan by moontears

[vxrsace-deactivated20190301]

[freshmoviequotes]

Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown (1975)

[modes-ty]

I’m giving this more mental energy than it is worth but I am so irritated when my kindness is abused

I’m just here to rant that essentially I risked my life to see someone and when I got there they made jokes about how if I had something happen to me they’d be none the wiser as I basically was near an active shooter situation where the fugitive ran away

I came to see them with a birthday cheesecake and I felt so bad afterwards because not only did they not make sure that I made it home okay they felt like essentially made me feel like they were assessing if I was a good fit for THEM rather than US making that determination for each other

They also had the nerve to ask me to pretend to be platonic in front of their family and friends at an event

If they could not claim me then it’s not my place to be there

All this to say I didn’t go to this event because I’m worth more but I’m annoyed that this man thinks he’s gods gift and I am lucky to have him around

[rumwik]

What if sequin snake, but dragonair

[rumwik]

Weasel toys (assorted)

[happyheidi]

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