tumblr is actually almost usable if you just filter 400 terms and block 900 blogs and have anons off and have messages off and have comments off and have reblogs off and never post any of your opinions and never express mild annoyance at anything ever!
shipping a consensual, safe & sane pairing all the while i'm shaking my head in disapproval so the audience knows i still love wildly toxic abusive fictional dynamics
so much of why trinity is the way she is is because she grew up a gymnast. specifically, because she grew up a gymnast prior to safe sport.
at its core: gymnastics culture is the embodiment of achieving an impossible standard of perfection. it gives you an incredible work ethic but more often than not (especially in the 90s-early 2010s) is so damaging.
it means trinity grew up with 8am saturday practices, having to wake up at 5:30am for all-day competitions every other week, 4 hour long practices after eight hours of school, and then staying up all night to finish homework before doing it all over again the next morning
it also means being in an environment where if one kid gets caught cheating on conditioning - the entire team is punished for it with more reps
essentially throughout trinity’s entire childhood — she was held to a higher standard of discipline and responsibility than most of the adults in her life are now
so of course she thinks langdon needs to repent by telling everyone what he did. because gymnastics culture teaches you that the failure of one person is meant to be seen by the collective.
beyond this, so much of pre-safe sport gymnastics was about force. it was having your coach sit on your back to push you into a middle split, or press on your shoulders to force an over split. it was being made to train & compete on injuries, regardless of how much pain the athlete is in, because winning is more important than recovery
naturally, this is going to stunt trinity’s capacity for empathy. how would she know how to care that langdon is struggling with addiction, or coping with chronic pain, when she was doing high-intensity work outs every day for 10+ years on sprained ankles, pulled muscles, and possibly even broken bones?
if she was expected to suck it up and push through at twelve, then in her eyes — he can do that with his back pain at 35. especially because trinity is most likely dealing with chronic pain too, she is just ignoring it
beyond this — competitive gymnastics makes you so hyper aware your body. many gyms don’t allow their gymnasts to wear shorts over their leotards during meet season to prepare them for competition, so every day for 4+ hours — trinity would be wearing nothing but a skin tight bodysuit. meanwhile, she’d be surrounded by other girls with bodies she believed were better than hers, while hearing constant comments like “i can see your lunch” , “tuck in your belly” and so on
all of this ties into the perfection element — as aesthetics are crucial in gymnastics. there are so many rules about competition looks to the extent where deductions are written into the code of points regarding misplaced hairs, a visible bra strap, or visible underwear line
every single element of gymnastics is calculated and that obsession with control & perfection doesn’t leave just because you’ve retired
so of course as an adult, trinity is obsessed with being the best. of course she’s she using over confidence to mask her insecurity. if she lets it slip that she isn’t actually as good as she wants to seem — she’s vulnerable for attack
and if there is one thing that gymnastics has taught trinity, it is that if she wants to protect herself as an adult — she always has to be on the offense.
however, going into how the foundation of competitive gymnastics in trinity’s era was fully built on systemic abuse & how that impacts her characterization now, would have to be a whole other post.
These are my nurses, and I choose what cases they work on. And if you think for one minute I'm putting anyone else from my staff at risk with that asshole, you better give your fucking head a shake.
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