-i'm writing a summary before i start this very late blog about him
i was placed in classes with him (r) in 7th grade. (aug 2022) when i initially saw him i just thought he was really cute. i wanted to get to know him. i pulled a few strings with some mutual friends to get his number. i started talking to him, casual small talk and some get-to-know-you questions, boring at first. i didnt really know how to talk to him since we didnt have a whole lot in common. basically we just fell off, kinda stopped talking. then my friend (at the time) (s) got with him. this pissed me off because she knew i had feelings for him. i didnt wanna be that girl so i convinced myself i wasnt into him anymore.
mine and his (r's) friends had mutual friends so i was commonly added into groupchats. long story, so it basically evolved into a friendgroup of (me, w, m, r, s) later in july (?) i had posted a tiktok about checking my phone 24/7 for his (r's) texts. one of his (r's) friends (non-mutual) (x) commented, "(his name.)" immediately i panic and dm him (x) about it, saying not to tell him and how long ive been crushing on him (r) for. what i didnt know is that he would screenshot those texts and send them out to my whole friendgroup. so instead of (r) having to hear it from him (x) i told him myself, got turned down because hes (r) "not ready for another relationship after (s)" which i totally get, she (s) did a bunch of shit to make him (r) uncomfortable so its 100% valid on his part, undeniably made me sad though.
ive made it very open that i dont like him like that anymore, atleast to him. but (w) knows about the crush. and the other night i did something VERY risky, which was vent to him about my crush. (usually this crosses the line for me but i NEEDED to tell him how i felt about him, just not directly.)
creator note: it is VERY late on a school night and i get if this doesnt make any sense, i just need to get this out somewhere. i can also edit later if any readers need to make sense of it
luv ya babes! thanks 4 reading
