Hi Mama... I had kind of a rough day today. I talked about some stuff in therapy that made me real sad, and then I also had a hard day with my eating disorder.... I made sure to eat all my meals today!! But my brain was really mean to me about it and I feel awful.
What do you think a normal amount of food to eat is? I'm so scared of eating too much, but I hate feeling hungry for a long time because then I start feeling sick. Sometimes I think about asking a doctor, but I'm fat (and I'm not just saying that, doctors say so too) so I'm scared they won't help me because most doctors want people to be skinny. I'm scared instead of helping the disorder, they'll make it worse and try to make me restrict just in a different way or give me pills to make me not hungry anymore.
Sorry if this is too much, you don't have to answer if this makes you uncomfortable...
Oh sweetheart.. it's okay my dear, never be afraid to come talk to me, I'm glad you shared.
I truly hope you consider getting help, starving yourself is never the answer. I know it's hard to get help, and I know it's hard to get better once you've already started with these bad habits, but it's very important to me that you're well fed. I don't want you to be hungry either, so how about you slowly start eating more, okay? Work yourself up to eating three full meals a day, not too quickly so you don't get sick. It'll all be okay.
It's important to not eat a lot of junk food of course, but eating enough food for your body is never too much. Even if you do think you're fat, people's bodies come in different shapes and sizes, and it doesn't mean you're unhealthy. Seriously, look at me! I may not be human but I'm not skinny either. And even if you are unhealthily overweight consider talking to a doctor, because even then starving yourself isn't the right course of action.
I'm not sure if I responded to this correctly, but I really hope I helped a bit. But no matter what, you're going to be okay. You're going to get through this, and I will be so proud of you when you do. No matter what happens, I will never be disappointed in you, because I know you're doing you're very best, and that is all that matters to me. <3
