To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.
What Is Blocking you From Fully Living? Small Acts That Will Make You Feel Alive Again
A small pac in honour of my late father and all the souls who got lost in life’s challenges, and for those still trying to find their way back to feeling alive again.
It's my birthday today But I don’t think I’ll ever be able to celebrate it the same way again.
The message I'm getting is that What feels like it's stopping you from fully living right now is this constant feeling that you have to keep everything balanced all the time. I see that you have been carrying so many responsibilities, expectations, thoughts, and worries that somewhere along the way, life started feeling more like something to manage than something to experience. There is always another thing to think about, another decision to make, another problem to solve. Even during moments that are supposed to bring you joy, part of your mind is already focused on what comes next. I also feel like there is a deep longing for happiness here. You know what a peaceful, fulfilling life could look like. You can picture it. You can feel it calling to you. Yet there seems to be a gap between where you are and where you wish you could be. Sometimes that gap feels so big that it becomes easier to stay busy than to sit with the emotions that come up around it.
And there is also a sense that you keep postponing your own life. You tell yourself that once things settle down, you'll enjoy yourself more. Once you finish this task, solve this issue, reach this goal, then you'll rest. Then you'll have fun. Then you'll allow yourself to breathe. But that time never seems to arrive. Your soul feels like it's asking for permission to enjoy life now instead of waiting for some future version of yourself to finally deserve it.
Small acts that'll make you feel alive again:
Watch the sunrise without touching your phone.
Walk barefoot on grass after it rains.
Buy yourself flowers just because.
Write a letter to your future self.
Sit outside for 10 minutes and count how many birds you hear.
Dance to one song in your room with no audience.
Visit a bookstore and read the first page of five random books.
Wear an outfit you've been "saving.”
Learn one word in a new language every day.
Put your phone away for an entire meal.
The message I'm getting is that there is a part of you that is still standing in front of something that has already ended. I see that you have experienced disappointments that affected you much more deeply than people realize. This can also be a loss of a person , pet, friend or a family member. You may have moved forward physically, you may be going through your daily routine, talking to people, working, studying, doing everything you're supposed to do, but emotionally there is still a piece of you looking back at what could have been. I keep hearing the words "I thought it would be different." I see that this sadness has slowly turned into a habit because after carrying it for so long, it has become familiar. Sometimes when life offers you new experiences, new opportunities, or new happiness, I feel like a small voice inside immediately starts preparing for disappointment before anything has even happened.
There is also a message regarding overthinking or fantasising about “what could've been” or “what you could've done”. I see that sometimes you dream about a life that is extremely connected to your past. Maybe your childhood and there is this feeling of wanting to experience something again and doing it right the second time. You fantasize about the past while completely ignoring your present. I'm guessing that you are extremely obsessed with the trope of a villainess reincarnating and changing her past mistakes or you may read this trope a lot.
Small acts that'll make you feel alive again:
Make tea or coffee and drink it slowly without multitasking.
Take photos of ordinary things that look beautiful.
Learn the name of one constellation and find it at night.
Leave a kind anonymous note for someone.
Make a playlist called "This version of me."
Cook something from scratch.
Visit a local museum, temple, or park you've never been to.
Laugh at old photos and memories.
Make a tiny list every evening titled: "Three beautiful things that happened today.”
The message I'm getting here is that what is blocking you from fully living is this feeling that life is always happening somewhere in the future. You may resonate with pile 1 as well but rather than the rest i talked about in pile one, you message is more about the enjoyment that comes with the accomplishment. I see that you've become so focused on reaching the next milestone, the next goal, the next version of yourself, that you've forgotten how to sit with the life that is already around you. There is a lot of energy here of waiting. Waiting for things to come together. Waiting for proof that your efforts were worth it. Waiting for a sign that you've finally made it.
There is also a deep emotional disconnect showing up. I keep hearing the phrase, "I'll be happy when..." and that feels important. "I'll be happy when I have more money." "I'll be happy when I achieve this goal." "I'll be happy when things finally settle down." I'm getting heavy elder daughter/son energy from this pile. And I also see that there is pressure related to long term security, money, and “what is right for the family name.” You might be constantly thinking about whether your choices will be accepted or questioned at home, and that creates a slow heaviness inside you.
Small acts that'll make you feel alive again:
Watch clouds and imagine shapes like you did as a kid.
Press flowers between the pages of a notebook.
Start a journal where you write one sentence each day.
Light a candle while reading.
Take a different route home.
Eat your favorite dessert without waiting for a special occasion.
Spend an hour creating something with your hands—drawing, jewelry, crochet, anything.
Watch the moon for a few minutes every night for a week.
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