Somewhere I’d love to be.
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@moniqueesque
Somewhere I’d love to be.
A restful place. A peaceful place.
An artist’s life is a lonely life.
How to connect with my creative spirit. I feel like I have lost my self, my self expression, my thoughts, my words. I long to go back to the time when I had organised thoughts. I long to go back and build up from there.
If it’s real I want to feel it.
I’m excited to see the woman I am going to be and will continue to be. This page is a testament of my desire to break out of the mold I have constructed for myself and allowed to control me for years. I’ve heard stories of how a woman should be, read books, verses, articles. I appreciate that I am new here and it’s important to learn from the humans who came before me, but one thing is certain, there can be no universality across space and time. Little trinkets of wisdom are necessary to avoid common pitfalls, but I must forge my own reality in this life because never have I ever existed in this exact space and this exact time.
Is it okay to give up on the dream of love, marriage and family? I don’t know. It’s a choice I have to consider and it’s a difficult one. Torn between the life of singlehood, childlessness, freedom, spontaneity, and the life of deep union, devotion, fellowship with a man, having a child or children and living life with an extra role of parent /wife. It’s a serious divergence. I don’t know which one calls to me more and if I will regret either choice.
I like so many things. It’s hard to like one thing, it’s even harder to be good at one thing. At times I think I could be an artist, other times I think a songwriter, maybe a good cook, perhaps an actor, I do love role playing and parodying, other times I am convinced I could make a great lawyer, and sometimes I just want to do nothing. Be nothing. What is even this?
This page is against my better judgment but I’m going to use it to discover myself and the kind of person I want to be to myself and the world.😇😇
This year I am doing things that scare me. New things. Novel things. Things I’ve never done before and I am going to live a happy life 😊