ｍｘ . ｗ

モンベベ . ウィニ

[monstaxardeur]

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[monstaxardeur]

You were slumped over your work desk feeling burnt out and unmotivated, you were lucky you still had your work from home policy cut out for you but your boyfriend not so much. Something about dating him added this feeling as if you didn't work hard enough, he was always on the go, very professional and packed with schedules and never did he have a cranky day because of exhaustion and here you were, unable to get yourself together over work you considered wasn't even close to how tough his was.

Today it hit you the hardest, though you tried to start your mornings with a positive attitude, you were extra lucky he was spending a few days with you so he'd leave for work from your apartment. You could see him on call as he was hurrying out and you handed him his jacket and bag but he always made sure to come back not minutes after he walked out the door, giving you a swift kiss and heading back out again. But when he was gone the lethargy just seeped in. By day end you were this close to crying but somehow that too felt like an effort.

He was home earlier than usual and got some snacks on the way, ones he knew you would love, you couldn't put into words how amazing of a person he was, a friend before your lover and that was beautiful. You did worry since it was a relatively new relationship and how you should navigate it. You hadn't realized you were so zoned out with your head buried in your arms on your desk that you didn't hear him call you for dinner. Once, twice...the third time he was at the door frame and you jolted up and tried to compose yourself. "Oh i'm sorry, be there in a minute." you smiled but he looked concerned, he noticed finally that you weren't feeling yourself. A part of you had wanted him to notice but a better part of you didn't. He was about to approach you when your phone buzzed and you played it off as if nothing's wrong. "I need to take this, it must be work. I'll join you in a second babe." He smiled softly and nodded disappearing.

You finally came for dinner after freshening up and changing into your clothes for the night. You tried not to dwell on how your insecurities crept up at such vulnerable moments although it's fair to say food made you happy, the sudden smile and joy it brought to you was genuine and your boyfriend had the biggest grin seeing you happy as you thanked him for the treat. Kihyun let you ease into the evening, just talking and telling you fun stories of the day and when he felt it was the right moment he asked finally. "Hey you okay? You've been a little off lately, I just thought it was maybe me overthinking but today you really were out of it...you can talk to me you know." His words made you soft, as if you'd burst into tears any moment. You tried to explain how it was just normal you had spells like these now and then but tears involuntarily spilled as you went on, "..It's fine this is normal its just you've been such an amazing friend and boyfriend, you do so much and your life's hectic I really don't feel like I have it in me to complain how I feel I want you to feel at ease when you are home…..I'm sorry about that, I'll be fine trust me." you hugged your knees and looked away pretending to finish the leftover kimchi but instead just poked it with your chopsticks.

Somehow Kihyun had figured easily the things that made you happy and cheered you up, he nodded with 'hmm' and proceeded to stand up saying, " C'mon get up." He gestured with one of his signature sweet smiles. You did so confused and he just held his arms open, you didn't even spare a second your eyes beamed joy and you literally just face planted in his hug and he held you there for a good whole minute. You tried not to cry but you couldn't help it, you eventually did as silent tears streamed but once you had done so you felt instantly better and he eventually slowly let go. He did have a concerned face as he wiped your tears. "You just needed to let it out, and of course you need hugs to keep you charged. I figured that out long ago." He teased poking your cheeks. "I'm sorry…" You mumbled softly looking down and in return felt a little kiss on your forehead. "Don't be silly babe, now you pick something for us to watch on netflix I'll quickly put away the dishe-" he was cut off as you stole a kiss from him and with flustered cheeks immediately turned around to clean up the table. He was smirking you could tell and knew he would tease you for it. Like when in the kitchen he'd trap you between him and counter saying, "When did my baby become so ambitious." Your flushed face was his winning prize as you tried to get the chores done. "Kiki buzz off stop teasing me." You'd whine and he'd walk away singing "~my baby's bad you know~" he knew this was your favorite song done by him and that's exactly how Kihyun managed to remind you it was fine to feel the way you did, that this too shall pass and that he's there for you always.

He'd be so touched and soft when he noticed you already dozed while waiting for him and he'd get ready for bed too double checking the locks and knobs before turning to bed. He had this habit that he'd put aside that pillow you hug to sleep and scoot closer letting you hug him instead, and like always you just nuzzled into his chest snoozing away.

[monstaxardeur]

Warnings: Mature, slight mention of bodily insecurities.

You dimmed the lights around the house as it was late but you also had work. You stared blankly scrolling through the internet suddenly recalling how your love had brushed your hair away from the neck to plant a fluttering kiss. You bit your lip recalling that and your hands naturally went to rub your neck and you felt your fingers trail over the recent love mark staining it and all your focus was thrown off. You had even decided to wear his old shirt he'd happily given to you. You were covered in his remnants and you sighed realizing you were very much in love as much as it scared you. It was no longer you pushing away your feelings or yourself so then why was your heart so scared of losing this, as if it was too good to be true? Was this what they called the 'honeymoon' phase? You still couldn't help but feel insecure, guess it was a given with Changkyun's job stature. It felt so common when you'd stand in front of the mirror just looking at yourself with doubts and yet again a memory resurfaced of how he had started touching you one time while you were busy criticizing yourself mentally. Right here in front of the mirror, just one of those rare days where he felt less like Changkyun and more like I.M. You covered your face, flushed cheeks and all and smiled so big as you flopped on the bed, he loved you regardless and of course you loved him unapologetically. These were memories that made you feel it was okay, and that it was going to be okay.

It was very much dead of the night now that he had returned and both of you were a little too love struck, angsty songs in the background and sweet nothings whispered as he decided to take you right there by the window. Lips leaving soft peppered kisses on eachother, him parting your legs and taking his place between em. Once he'd gotten in rhythm with you, you threw your head back at the build up, it felt so sweet, how was it possible that it felt just as sweet as the first time or even better. 'and you wanted to waste time trying on something for me?' he teased through pants in that deep voice that seemed to drop more when he'd be making love 'when you know you know this is the best thing you can wear' and his ring clad hand traced over your exposed neck and breasts, gently going back up to caress your neck rather than choke it, just teasing touches of his warm skin and the cool metal around his fingers, a perfect choker. He made you look at him, slowing down the pace, letting you wrap your legs around him even more and he kissed you a mind numbing kiss. His movement was still slow so you tried bucking your hips for more feel. 'shhh patient babe, it's been days since I saw you, let me savor it', his voice was in a hush, like a whisper as if, if he spoke any louder he might break you like a doll. You found yourself clinging to him more, pulling him closer, and kissed him kisses that left you gasping for air, kisses with moans that erupted intense coils in your belly. And he lifted you briefly only to drop you on the bed on the side.

You two continued making love for much longer if you remembered and once the moments would pass they would feel like a dream, often to you. You sat up in bed as he was dozed and reached for your glasses. You had changed back and slowly got out of bed so as to not wake him. He probably knew you weren't next to him but you remembered he'd once said how just being in the same home or place as you comforted him. Knowing that you'd be just in the other room and always nearby, a sentiment you resonated with deeply as well. You were awake just to wrap up your unattended things, and clear any mess made around the apartment. But also using that time to just be with your thoughts, realizing how even in such moments it felt so 'heavenly' like what if you walked back in the room and he wasn't there as if nothing happened, as if you were dreaming it. But surely when you finally came to bed, your heart leapt out of its cage seeing him sleeping, curled up hugging a pillow. Changkyun felt you get back in bed and he'd scoot closer as you out of new habit discarded your shirt and he nestled into your chest burying his face in you and had an arm around your waist. Until sleep came you'd always run your hands through his hair, giving soft kisses over his head. And usually when morning came he'd be the one becoming the bigger spoon and leaving sweet soft caresses over you, seeing you sleep away without a worry.

mood song: heavenly by cigarettes after sex

[monstaxardeur]

[monstaxardeur]

Warnings: Mature

You paced around back and forth talking about some absurd reason why you hadn't dated all this time in a half drunken state to your old friend. A friend who you'd known growing up, you two may have drifted apart in between until present time reunited you. It felt like picking up from where you last left off. You were very fond of him and he always made you feel like he felt the same way.

He wore a black coat, sitting by the bench at the veranda like setting with beer bottles on the side and some bonfire for the chilly weather. "I don't know where I was going with this but you get the point." You ended your little speech. You walked back to sit by his side on the bench and leaned your head on his shoulder, "I made no sense I am just rambling aren't I, I'd probably do the same even if I had a date." You sighed and he only chuckled with a cute smile saying, "Yup." He put his bottle down and noticed you had your head thrown back lookin at the stars, he did the same and there was a comfortable silence for a while until he asked. "Can I ask you for something? Don't hate me but I just want to try my luck.." You only hummed in response,

"Can I kiss you?"

The poison laced sweet words had spilled from his lips and you sat up straight confused, thinking about him just asking that. Seeing your response he immediately backtracked, he was saying his sorrys and stumbling to find words that you couldn't focus on because you were still processing what he'd just said so out of the blue but then you asked back. "Why would you want to kiss me? Horrible choice really, I'll probably be a bad experience, I am sure you can find better." Was your response since your fruity alcohol affected brain could only think of this reason. He arched a brow in response, "Like.. that's your excuse or are you just- ya know what I am sorry I really am." He trailed off thinking maybe you're finding excuses because you struggle to say no. You got up pacing around quietly for a while before saying, "No really I am not opposed to the idea at all…honestly, just my lack of experience." Your brows were furrowed looking away but you finally looked up at him sitting there with that smug smile like he really couldn't believe that was your response. As if something in his heart knew it wasn't wrong to shoot his shot. "Leave that to me then maybe? But only if you want to, no pressure whatsoever." He took a last swig of his drink and something in your belly turned, butterflies, is this what it felt like when people said they get butterflies? You had wondered and you saw him turn to you, his arm resting on the back of the bench. "Oh..OH you're waiting for a response." you mumbled and Hyungwon was clearly just very amused, he really held a lot of adoration for you. "Yeah sure okay, I mean no, YES I wanna do this." you stated firmly.

He finally got up and sauntered over and your instant reaction was, "Oh for fucks sake-" He stopped in his tracks immediately asking, "What's the matter?"

"You're way too taller than me…" You protested and sighed with your hands on your hips. The boy laughed heartily and you felt your cheeks go red and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears. "Uhh okay hold on, here you can stand on this." He brought a little wooden stool and was giggling, unable to handle how your concerns were rather cute to him. He held out his hand for you to hold to step on the little stool and he laughed a little more clearly giddy from the alcohol's effect seeing how you still couldn't match his actual height. You frowned with a pout waiting for him to fix himself and he cleared his throat apologizing sweetly. "Sorry sorry." He smiled that smile that would always put your worries away, you could never stay mad at him. And just like that he stepped closer, one arm snaking around your waist. The other hand he used to caress your cheeks with his knuckles gently to get your attention to look at him. You never could tell when his gaze got a little more serious and the moment you felt him lean you closed your eyes nervously. Hating how you were so hyper focused over something that should happen naturally and just as these thoughts were floating you felt his soft lips against yours. It was a gentle peck at first, barely touching, and then slowly another softer kiss, and then another slightly firm this time and before you knew it your lips were moving with his returning the kiss just as sweetly back. Barely a minute perhaps and he broke the kiss and moved away to see your reaction, clearly dazed you were not really happy at the loss of the feeling. "Why'd we stop?" You asked in a love drunken haze and he only smiled devilishly and immediately took your lips again, this time in a deeper fervor, the embrace was a slightly more firm grip so you wouldn't lose your balance and you threw your arms around his neck, fingers running through his dark locks.

That day the romance was broken off by the sudden sound of the car parking in the garage, your other friends having returned to get the party started again. You forever felt the regret of not seeing where it would lead. It had startled you two out of your trance and nothing else happened through the night.

~

'Hey so my flight was postponed and I was wondering if I could come over.'- Wonnie

'Yeah sure!!'- You

Just these two texts and he was at your doorstep and you never really knew how it had come to this. You straddled his lap while his hands caressed your skin under your shirt. Your little petting session was becoming hot and heavy. His lips trailed your pulse points under your neck and the way it immediately had you whimpering made him get harder beneath you. Seeing the sweat shirt you wore get in the way he helped it slide up slowly until your chest was exposed, since you were home it meant no bra. He slowly circled your nipple and gave your breasts a light squeeze as you tried to move against anything while you felt his hard on. He suckled on your sensitive nipple and heard you whimper in a slow low whine. He made sure to do the same to your other side and you threw your head back, your hands raking his hair. This foreplay went on for a while until your chest was covered in marks and you kept mumbling, 'Wonnie please, need you.' He hushed you in between kisses 'Slow and steady don't worry.' He assured.

You had led him to your room when he'd asked and the room's darkness helped you immediately discard the rest of your clothes, Hyungwon would still leave kisses in between as you two undressed, his hand rested at your neck and he bit your lip, swelling them. There was a sudden moment of softness as he searched your eyes and asked, "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked and you nodded and whispered against the shell of his ear, while tip-toeing, "Yes I need you right now."

He laid you down and pried open your legs, he circled your sensitive bud before inserting a finger getting your slick all coating it. His thumb kept pressuring your bud with his finger moving in and out and then he had two fingers pushing in and out of you. You felt a little stretch but you were really looking for a release, your hand covered your face because you couldn't hide your moans and were a little insecure about yourself. His movement got fast and he saw you squirm, his heart did things to him seeing you writhe like this. He turned it up a notch when you felt his warm tongue latch on to your wetness all the while his fingers kept moving. Your sight of him between your legs was enough to have the coil in your belly unravel. He ate you out into over sensitivity letting your high last. He hoisted himself with his arm over you then, brushing your hair away from your face while you tried to let the high settle. Your hands wrapped around his waist and dug at his shoulders wanting him close as he kissed you. His kisses got softer as he peppered your face with them and his hands rubbed your inner thighs. He sat back up and aligned himself to you slowly sheathing himself making sure you wouldn't feel any discomfort. It took him some time to bottom out and he lowered himself over you burying his face in your neck with slow movements after a while. Surely and slowly he was rutting into you, he slipped out briefly and turned you over before slipping back in again. Your face was muffled in the pillow feeling the pleasure build up. His hand entwined with yours that clutched the pillow and his lips danced around your shoulders leaving wet kisses. His thrusts got faster finding a rhythm with yours and with that you mumbled unable to string coherent words. Soon enough you came crashing down from your climax and he let out a guttural moan chasing his not moments after. He embraced you immediately after, whispered softly how you made him feel all this time. Ever since he'd reunited with you, you tugged at his heart so wickedly. He was talking away all the while pulling out throwing away the piece of rubber. You listened intently and when he turned to you again you reached out your arms and he fell into your embrace holding you close staying like that for a long while sharing silence.

He had propped himself with one arm, with the sheets covering your bare bodies, he'd talk away and share what he truly felt about you but when he was done he turned to you as if asking. You were cautious with your words but mumbled softly, "You're making me fall in love with you." You felt for the first time his cheeks went visibly red and you couldn't help but smile. It was a comforting moment and you turned to his side completely and snuggled into him yawning. His brain may have went 404 error and he was struggling to respond but he just stole a soft kiss or two as he fixed the covers so you two don't catch a cold and eventually dozed off with you.

[monstaxardeur]

[monstaxardeur]

Warnings: Suggestive

You swayed gently back and forth. Hands around his waist as he mouthed the words to the song making you smile. And he tugs and pulls you closer. You never knew since when he'd gotten this big, it felt like yesterday he was your cute broody boy next door kind of boyfriend. His forehead touched yours as you two slowly danced, his hands tracing your back and gliding to the hem only to slide under the fabric. The warmth of your skin against his cool skin made you hiss briefly. He chuckled, arching a brow teasingly. You only stole a kiss catching him off guard and he was immediately pulling you in for more, his arms tightening around you in a comfortable grip. Cute and peppered at first and then slow and languid. You missed his mullet if you were honest, more room to play with his hair but something about short hair made him rather devious. He helped you by the window, lips still not completely detached. Devilish smiles and playful smirks, bashful cheeks and heated breaths. He made sure to kiss all your sensitive spots trying not to leave too many purple blossoms but you didn't mind, it's not like you had to be in front of an audience to worry about. That is why marking him up meant all the places only your eyes could see. He stepped back briefly only to pull his shirt over his head and discard it and he could see what affect that move alone had on you. The way you reached your hands to the back of your dress's zipper and he helped you out knowing well you'd struggle. It fell off your shoulders instantly then, leaving you exposed to the cold wind. His knuckles brushed over your cheeks while his other hand closed the curtains behind you just in case, even though not a soul was outside but he still wanted to feel like it was just you two. As if he didn't want the moon and the stars to see and blush at the fervor.

Nails clawed his tattoo at the back, teeth grazed your soft collar bone skin. Deep groans and soft love talk took place in that deep voice of his that alone could drive you over the edge. Your back was arched from the delicious feeling pooling for the third time that night. You two were as one and you didn't know if you'd call it a sinful demise or a passionate escape. All you knew was that you'd given your heart to this boy who made you feel so many things. All he knew was that he was on his way to sell his soul to stay in this limbo with you.

Your eyes were heavy with sleep tugging as you traced the new ink on his arm, the arm that was thrown around you in such a romantic notion, he sleepily watched you in a drunken haze, totally love drunk. And when he was asleep finally you lovingly bundled both of yourselves up in the covers, even in sleep he knew he had to keep you close, even in sleep he'd hug you like he was scared this would just be a dream.

mood song: john wayne by cigarettes after sex

[monstaxardeur]

[monstaxardeur]

Warnings: Angst

You lay calmly next to him, soft music being played from your favorite lo fi jazz playlist. Being lazy and sharing comforting silences was something you only managed to share with Hyungwon. His dark wavy locks covered over his eyes and you heard him sigh once again, something was bothering him and he broke the silence. “Did it hurt?” he asked and you knew this sounded like one of those cheesy pickup lines except with him you could expect it to be a savage burn as well, but that’s how your friendship was and you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. You smiled wondering his response and asked “Did what hurt?” He pursed his lips and turned to look at you and pointed at the scar that was evident from under your low cut top, a faint scar right in the center, spanning from between your collarbone to just below your ribs. It was barely visible but it was there, like a constant reminder. Your smile vanished and you replied a little sadly, “I don’t even remember what hurt feels like.” You sat up and changed the playlist on your phone and he asked in a hush, “Do you really not remember them at all?” And you shook your head, you wished a little inside you hadn’t forgotten but you really remembered nothing… “They said it happens sometimes that people forget and I happened to be one of them.” You turned to see him and he only smiled and sat up pulling you in a hug. “I’m sorry I’m bothering you I just…can’t imagine you actually suffered like this.…” He trailed off but he was such a cuddle bug sometimes and you lightened up the mood by messing his hair and pulling his cheeks and seeing him smile finally calmed your heart. All these questions had you suspicious though and they worried you deeply, they were starting to keep you up at night…was your new found crush, your Wonnie okay?

00:59

You didn’t think the tension would grow so fast, one could slice through the deafening silence that drowned your own thoughts. He was dressed perfectly for a formal event except he came back because he wasn’t feeling well but he came back home to you. He looked ethereal as he stood so close to you his gaze locked. You thought it had something to do with you wearing his hoodie, he had given it to you for good, it was a little old but very warm and you were prepping for bed but you could tell he was troubled. “Say something…anything…” You beckoned him but he was silent and just let his forehead touch yours and inhaled sharply. “Wonnie…” You asked in a lower tone worry seeping from your words as you held his face in your palms gently and he closed the distance melding his lips onto yours. It felt like a fire ignited within your soul, is this what love feels like or was it desire and lust? Your mind was foggy by the way he deepened the kiss and held you closer to him, bodies pressing and his lips weaving the sweetest tales against yours. But then there was a sudden ache in his chest, he felt them blooming and his kiss lost it’s fervor as he let go of your swollen lips and backed away in pain clutching his throatt. “Wonnie what’s wrong..?” You asked worried and saw him cough, he tried suppressing it but it only grew worse. “Baby what’s wrong?” You panicked and reached out to him seeing him drop to his knees, even the words slipping your mouth couldn’t convince him you may have loved him back unknowingly all along and that’s when you saw, indigo hued crimson petals with golden edges fell from his mouth and lay scattered, withered away dead petals…. You knew this image way too vividly, after all you had your hanahaki removed once… Falling to your knees you embraced his limp form that was in a mess of a state. He cried softly holding you close and buried his face in your hair. It hurt, you knew it hurt, you may have forgotten your own pain but the scar was a constant reminder that it had become unbearable. You cried with him silently and his words weighed heavy as he spoke, “I don’t want to forget loving you…”

04:12

You lay as the little spoon on top of Hyungwon, both of you asleep with his lips close to your head and arms protectively around you. The gentle rise and fall of his chest lulled you into deeper sleep but he was well now, no longer in pain, the internal bruises started to heal. The petals that had once threatened to bloom were withering away and he could feel it inside of him. All he needed was for you to accept your own feelings for him, the ones you had denied in your head but now they were out and were a firm statement. He opened his eyes to see you in his arms and firmed his embrace. The hurt he endured being in love with you had been too much but he never wanted to forget..~

[monstaxardeur]

Warnings: Mature

Hyungwon put on those silly looking magical girl glasses that you had picked out for him, cute pink and floral designs decorated it's edges with a delicate golden chain around his neck. "I look so silly." He had said looking at his reflection in the mirror while you sweetly giggled, "I'm buying it for myself then." You had heart eyes for that little thing and Hyungwon noticed it, he noticed you. You had dragged him to that little shop for it had recently opened and it was packed with a lot of cute things. Despite Hyungwons taste differing he still looked like he belonged there, wearing a soft sweater and donning the 80s fluffy curly hair, all neutral pastel shades, he had melted your heart in a new way. As you browsed around more the store owner's radio switched songs and everything started to feel different without him even knowing.

She looks like a blue parrot

Would you come fly to me?

He had been avoiding tapping into that side of his mind knowing his reasonings would stop and emotions would take over, it seemed a little too late and a little too unfair but his feelings for you grew slowly and steadily, growing into a comforting solace. His eyes trailed your presence from between the aisles lined with small plushies and colorful umbrellas. He noticed how you tip toed to reach something that caught your eye and he was by your side within an instant easily grabbing the pastel colored hardbound book you had liked. He may have complained about you boring him with the shopping but you two had been friends long enough for it to not matter to you and so you dragged him anyway. If he were quiet honest though he liked to be known as the one who you dragged even for the most mundane things to do. He was too lost in his thoughts noticing your childlike joy at purchasing the things you loved, but you looked around perhaps having forgotten something and he took that chance to quickly buy a little berret for you as a gift, a little winter bear.

Imagine your face

Say hello to me

'Til all the bad days

They're nothing to me

With you

It was raining again, guess it was the season, there was no thunder storm just soft patter of gradual rain. Except at home in the cozy confines the tension had grown so subtle and yet so inevitable. He got swayed to his emotions but was filled with a sense of contentment when your response had been nothing short than the sweetest most gentle passion. It felt a little awkward at first as if you two were kids who were still figuring out life back in highschool, his towering height only added to the clumsyness when he had leaned closer to feel your lips on his own. A part of him was still cautious but then surely and slowly he realized there was no reason to hold back and when he deepened the kiss leaving you breathless at his touch, you held on to him as if for dear life, as if you didn't want to miss even a second of his love bestowed upon you, as if you were scared it would all vanish into nothingness and you'd be left a little heart broken at the disappearing mirage. He was so gentle with you but not because he was worried about handling you but because the love he felt was too overbearing to handle, the weight of it lead him to take his sweet time to make sure he didnt suffocate you. Because he just really wanted to make love to you in that moment and nothing else. You had a shy yet strong resolve, only the softest whimpers escaped your bruised lips and nothing more but he was determined to pleasure you until you were left shaking and covered in his love pleasure. His slender fingers weaved into your messed up hair and traced your blissed out face as he moved in you, a little more deeper and a lot more faster. He touched forheads with you and his sinful little pleasured groans left your mind numbed with the sweetest pleasure pooling inside, your vision blurred and you were sure you saw stars when you hid your face into his neck. It all came down with a flooding wave of pleasure but he stayed between your legs a little longer, just to hold you so vulnerable and exposed and raw before him. He could see now you truly were filled with so much love to give and maybe a lot more of that love was reserved just for him, maybe even all of it for him. Love had arrived at his doorstep in the most mundane ways and brought him down to earth from the fast paced glamorous life he lived, where he had had seen love and lust so deep and yet so heart breakingly beautiful and painful. This felt different, this felt like an anchor and he found himself holding you closer, scared he would lose you and your sincerity to the harshness of the world he had seen.

Winter bear

Ooh, ooh, ooh

He came back home exhausted from a very sudden work meeting, as much as he didn't want to leave you alone, he had to go but you were at his place and he promised you he'd come back soon and make up for lost time. You assured him with endless soft kisses that you peppered onto him, that you understood and that it was okay. He came back to a very well kept apartment, it was habitual how you always helped clear up the mess you two would make, but it felt more heartfelt now, felt like you belonged to live in with him. He stepped into the bedroom and his heart almost leaped out of his cage seeing you had stayed considering how late he had been, and that you were asleep in the soft covers of his bed. You wanted to be enveloped in his scent and so you wore his shirt too, the soft cotton of his white button down drowning you in it.

Looks like a winter bear

You sleep so happily

He smiled feeling like he was the luckiest man to be alive to feel such emotions and he wasted no time in changing and getting under the covers right next to you. He spooned you pulling you closer, nuzzling his face into you and he slept into the sweet induced slumber your presence gave him.

Ooh, ooh, ooh

Sleep like a winter bear

moodsong: winter bear by v

[monstaxardeur]

Warnings: Mature, Angst

He found himself in your apartment, he didn’t exactly know why. You weren’t exactly sure how you felt about it either but of course you sounded like you two were just good friends when you greeted him, except he was exceptionally quiet. Hyunwoo noticed you had changed the entire look of your apartment, nothing was how he remembered….you were moving on finally. His thoughts clouded him, made him knit his brows as he traced through the polaroids hanging by your shelf. New memories, new people, except your smile hid so much sadness..

You still loved him..~

He never forgot back when eight months ago, he had asked ‘to take a break’ and you had accepted it so calmly as if you knew. But of course you knew…you tried, the heavens were a witness you tried so hard ever since you noticed him change. You had thought maybe you were killing the fun in your relationship so you had tried changing things up, routines, yourself but then you exhausted yourself. He remembered as the guilt had become overbearing for him when he finally uttered those words. You had had such a defeated reaction but you hoped he’d come back for a final verdict..he never did, not until now.

And so here he was, noticing the change in you, even under that beautiful makeup your cheeks felt a little hollow as if you had lost your glow, you’d been grieving for so long after all. Even the makeup betrayed the feeling of dark circles under your eyes. 

“I saw you with him.” was all that he had said and your hand slammed down on the slab a little too loudly with a thud and he noticed. “Is that what this is about?” You were all sorts of furious at that audacity. “Why do you care Hyunwoo.…you left. You think I didn’t notice the life come back to you when you left me, all those fan meets and hangouts with friends, you were beaming like a free soul but I can’t go on a fucking date after eight fucking months of you walking out on me.” You seethed as words erupted from inside you like a volcano and you stopped not wanting to cry in front of him.

“Just get it over with..tell me its over, that you don’t need a break anymore and that we’re done.” You demanded but softly in a hush, your voice trembled as all those days of healing yourself felt like a waste with your wounds opening so fresh. He wouldn’t even know your so called date hadn’t even worked out.…no one was as good as he’d been. He’d spoiled you so much.~

Hyunwoo was unsettled seeing your state he didn’t think this through when he wanted out. But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss you terribly at times. Every little thing reminded him of you, sometimes people assumed you two were still dating the way spoke about you to them, he actually spoke about you to people sometimes and it still felt like he had love to give. He came wandering back when the void he’d been wanting to chase away had come back, he’d left you to find himself, he found himself and realized he lost you and now he needed you…~

~

This was a mistake you knew you’d beat yourself up over it by morning, this was a big mistake you repeated in your head hoping you’d stop yourself as Hyunwoo almost ripped tugging away your blouse, buttons snapping open. His lips found his way to the unmarked skin, that territory he claimed as his own and his hand snapped open your lace bra. You had put in a lot of effort for the date and he seethed thinking there could have been someone else doing this to you and he bit down hard. For someone who had gently caressed your tears away and tried to hush you when you broke down he was way too intense. You could tell he was showing you he was jealous and you were at the mercy of the mistake you were making with what you assumed would be your break up sex..so you indulged in it completely, letting yourself break just to be with him one last time.

He pinned you up against the wall, his lips did the most devilish things to you as he gripped you with white knuckles, and you felt him between your legs, between the aching core, your breathless moans fueled him, seeing he was the only one who had such an effect on you. Your nails dug into his taut muscles as you threw your head back and he took in all of you, this memory of you lewdly pinned to the wall by him as he moved in you. He’d never been this way in all your days of dating him, this was a brutal kill, like an arrow to your heart the way he did you so good. He was deeper inside you and the sweetest whimper of his name escapes your lipstick smeared lips, he was grunting as he hit the sweet spot, deeper each time just to hear you whimper his name and you bit down on his neck muffling your moan as you dripped from between your legs. You were so weak and he could feel it, your energy diminishing withing seconds and he dropped you on the bed, lips crashed onto yours in a carnal hunger and he wasn’t seem to be done with you yet. The night was ended with you crying out his name as he wore both of you out.

~

By dawn you woke up with a sinking aching feeling, the regret seeping in. You were alone and in nothing but the sheets and Hyunwoo’s lingering pleasure. Silent tears escaped before you sobbed softly. Almost as if he knew, he too was aching to run back to you, even though he had to leave you alone in bed as much as he hated it, he was back at your doorstep. He walked inside to the sight of your tired weary face, dragging yourself out of your bath. You noticed him as you clutched on to your towel, you both spoke nothing as he came to your side to comfort you. He helped you dress into his old button down shirt that you still kept and kissed your temples and fingertips when he was done changing you. He wouldn’t let you work, he made sure you had a warm meal in the kitchen as he did house chores almost like old times. It was oddly unspoken but silently understood that he never wanted to leave you now. 

~

He found himself lulled by your presence in his arms as he saw you sleep with your head resting on his chest, with the gentle rise and fall. Broken bruised in love you both fell back into each others arms like star crossed lovers~ 🥀

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Warnings: Mature

The calm noise of the humming air condition was all that was heard, no words were needed, for the longest time you just lay with your face buried in Heony’s chest as he held you in his arms like the little spoon you were. There were occasional kisses to your head and how he firmed his grip around you, it’d been a year he hadn’t been able to hold you like this. Long distance relationships could be so painful, no one ever told him. “You know I missed you so much.” He spoke softly as if it wasn’t obvious already with the way you two clung on to each other. You sat up to be able to see him, those cute dimples that smiled just for you in that moment, they made your heart flutter like it was the first time. You were content in that moment and Heony couldn’t help himself from sitting up  for a sweet kiss. It felt like he was kissing you for the first time again.

Ugh those bittersweet virgin vibes.

Your hands caressed the nape of his neck and he felt his nerves relax, it was that magic touch he always knew of, that healing feeling he got by your mere presence, your existence in his life. You two were so in the moment, taking it slow and sweet but that moment of tranquil was immediately broken by a soft mewling noise in the room. You both smiled into the kiss, “Babe its the kids.” You spoke and Heony grinned wide, it warmed his heart seeing how two acted like an actual married couple who had kids except it was Yoshi and Gucci. “No I’ll go see them, give them some special treat so they don’t bother us later.” You giggled softly watching him go see Yoshi & Gucci who snuggled around his feet.

He returned back into your arms not long after, sweet caresses and the growing tensions in the air had you two throwing your clothes off left and right. He was so vanilla that day, he wanted to feel every inch of your skin. And he cooed sweet words to you that never failed to make you weak under him. You had forgotten the feeling of having him between your legs that it sent you in a flurry of pleasure when you orgasmed. He groaned deeply when he came into you and you took his face in your palms kissing those sweet heart shaped lips of his. You let him rest his head on your chest and with the gentle rise and fall he was lulled to sleep as you drifted off not soon after with your fingers weaved in his fiery locks.

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Monsta X | a thirty minute love affair

Warnings: Mature, Angst

vintage auditoriums and red velvet curtains, business talk disguised into coveted love and lust, lost in the smoke of expensive tobacco, drinking away to the memories of the one that got away..~

🐻 Shownu

cigars and classic italian suits, stoic expressions and dominating masculine aura, large hands at the small of your back, gentle when he tips your chin but deeply carnal kisses in the shadows

🐰 Wonho

a stray lover dressed in black, tousled hair and intimate deep gazes, drinking the poison from your supple skin, unsatiable lust and love seeping from his bruised heart as you break with him under the dimmed backstage light

🐹 Kihyun

bowtie suits and business talk, observant and lethal, leaves you bruised and yearning for more, smirks witnessing your oblivion, watching you break like a porcelain doll with that damned smile as he inhales the drug between his lips

🐶 Minhyuk

too yellow for a suit yet men and women cling to him, killer smiles and sweet beautiful lies, so gentle yet teasing making you laugh so effortlessly, leaves little nips and raspy whispered promises as aching remnants

🐢 Hyungwon

pinstrip suits, bold and beautiful, never leads on but gives into his desires, breaks your heart so beautifully for time and eternity to witness, bruised lips and broken promises at the edge of your broken hearts

🐝 Joohoney

white fedoras and canes, hunting for a little prey, sugared words to hear your softest giggle, kisses on your knuckles and fingertips, leaves you tainted between your legs and aching for him

🐺 I.M

outrageously dressed, plastered in red smears, he loves the attention, lets you mark him, mottled tattoos and the sound of love lost to heartbreak, takes you deep and raw with no regrets

moodsong: 30 minute love affair by paloma faith

[monstaxardeur]

Warnings: None

It was a rainy day, a gentle downpour and with the sky so glum it made Hyungwon rather solemn. Specially after having to be there to assist a friend whose loved one passed away. Taking long strides in his dark black coat and dark hair with a mask covering his face he strolled around town. Picking up some ramen and drinks from a nearby store. He paused at a flower shop recalling how he had closed up for the day. In fact he was led to think about you. Flowers often reminded him if you. The rain picked up and he held up his umbrella still reminiscing…he missed you. It hit him in that moment about what was happening…he missed you a lot and he'd been in denial. To think you'd be back someday, to visit your mutual friend, maybe he'd see you again~

Could it be fate's kindness or cruelty when he passed by his own flower shop on the familiar route back home and there you were peeking inside the glass door wondering if the shop was just closed or maybe someone was inside working before opening. It was you and Hyungwon couldn't believe it. He saw how you noticed him and after squinting a little made an excited wave of hello. He didn't even know he was smiling as he waved back. He saw you close the gap between you two and his thoughts became a locked away hazy memory. You two got lost in pleasantries and asked each other about everything and anything. It came as even more of a surprise when you asked to bunk for a few days at his. He was trying to hide the redness in his cheeks recalling the last time you'd been at his place. Your eyes were anywhere but meeting his knowing this truth and his gaze softened as he said, 'you can stay as long as you want~'

'what if i stay forever?' you had asked back playfully only making his heart skip tiny little beats.

The weather hadn't changed in the coming days keeping most places closed down including his shop so he stayed most of the time in his in house workshop and you loved watching him work if you were honest. He was so meticulous and gentle with the flowers caring for them and nourishing them.

In the coming days he had taken you to a little art exhibition, it was like nothing you had experienced though, it was different from big city exhibits. Close knit town people only and everyone was acquainted with everyone and you were a new face everyone recognized now as Hyungwon's special little friend, his date for the night. His arm stayed around you and you stayed close to him at all times, out of nothing but pure endearment if anything. There were so many small moments where it felt like time had converged, a deja vu of seeing him stand before a painting probed your mind. Or the time his fingers caressed the inside of your palms when he held your hands, how they traced your knuckles, it all felt familiar yet anew.

When you two had returned home and were still in your fancy dresses he had offered to teach you how to dance when you had mentioned you were worried about stepping on his toes. But somehow the rhythm came naturally, as you two swayed lightly just sharing silence together. When the song hit the crescendo and then started to fade off it felt like a cue as Hyungwon without hesitation leaned down to kiss you. Hands gently holding your face, how did he find gentleness in him, he was surprised himself. Was it not common when you two were alone you had wanted to just make passionate love like in the movies but in person the calmness consumed you so staggeringly that it felt unreal, ethereal and very foreign.

If you had thought your first time had been an intense emotion, this time was a different kind of intense. You had missed the smell of his perfume as you fell back on the soft sheets holding him close. Your fingers tracing slowly the ridges of his spine, then the broadness of his shoulders while his lips caressed your ever exposed silver of a skin. Your gentle slow makeouts had lasted longer than expected, restraining yourselves from pleasure as if wanting to keep extending this moment. But when he did make love to you it was always intense in its own way, in 'his' own way. While yours was subtle and restrained as if scared of showing so much of yourself, ..and scared of being shunned away.

You could hear the rain pick up as you lay in your post bliss moment looking out the tinted windows. He joined you a moment later, getting comfortable in the warmth of the sheets, close to you and you two couldn't stop flirting even now. He had brought up how you had said 'you would stay forever' and you smiled softly like 'do you want me to?' and hyungwon wanted to say something witty back but he held back and instead asked, 'would you stay with me forever if i asked you right now? no make believe..for real?' His face was serious but tender nonetheless as if he'd spoken his thoughts out loud. 'I'll stay for as long as you want and leave whenever your heart desires' you had replied back, melancholy lacing your words. He knew there was a ring of truth to your reply, 'if I can help it…it won't happen.' you only smiled brushing his hair away from his face, his eyes always felt like they could see into your soul. He didn't want either of you to over think if silence prevailed and so his lips found yours again this time uttering the dreaded three words.

'i love you~'

the same three words were whispered back in between kisses at him. You two made love till your heart's content that evening when the rain was particularly heavy as if mirroring your emotions.

Only when the weather changed a little it felt like it brought reality back with it yet you two couldn't break your trance. It was love for sure yet there was fear of this infatuation ending, of this honeymoon phase to wither away. The question always remained in both of your minds. The fear alone always somehow made you two make the most of it and so far nothing had happened. There was honesty in confessing the fears as you two leaned by the pier. 'Will you keep coming back to this town?' he had asked one day looking onwards at the sea, 'I want to,' You had replied, 'Besides as long as I have something to come home to, I'll always come back.' Hyungwon held out his hand wordlessly for you to take and you did, they were warm and comforting. 'I hope you never find a reason to stop coming.' Like a cupid's bow making seams of his name and his love in your heart, you found your reason, a single reason, to come back to.

mood song: fourth of july by sufjan stevens

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