CONTAINS GRAPHIC LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL REFERENCES
āGod forbid I exude confidence and enjoy sex.ā
āDo you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine 24/7 so I can be considered a lady?ā
āIām the Marsha Fucking Brady of the Upper East Side, and sometimes I want to kill myself!ā
āSo thereās your psychoanalysis, Dr. Freud. Now tell me, are you inā¦or are you out?ā
āWhat shall we toast to?ā
āSilly rabbit. My triumph isnāt over them. Itās over you.ā
āYou were very much in love with them. Youāre still in love with them.ā
āIt amused me to make you ashamed of it.ā
āYou gave up the first person you ever loved because I threatened your reputation.ā
āDonāt you get it? Youāre just a toy. A little toy I like to play with.ā
āSo I assume youāve come here to make arrangements? But unfortunately, I donāt fuck losers.ā
āMost people are sheep. Who are you to criticize something youāve never experienced?ā
āI just donāt think people should experience the act of love until they are in love.ā
āI didnāt meant to offend you. I just picked up on a little bit of that lesbian vibe.ā
āThe only reason I let him keep up the charade is because the man has a mouth like a hoover. Oof!ā
āThis sure doesnāt take like an iced tea.ā
āYup. Then I fucked your daughter.ā
āWell, Iām in love.ā
āThey told me they loved me, and I believed them.ā
āWould you cut your psycho-babble bullshit!ā
āThereās pictures of me on the internet!ā
āMy advice is to sleep with as many people as possible.ā
āBut that would make me a slut, wouldnāt it?ā
āWell I know this sounds corny, but whenever I feel the temptation of peer pressure, I turn to God and he helps me through the problem.ā
āI donāt know what I could possibly say that would rectify the harm Iāve caused you.ā
āThe truth of the matter is that being with you was the only time I have ever been happy.ā
āMy whole life has been a joke. I prided myself on taking joy in othersā misery.ā
āI succeed in hurting the first person I ever loved.ā
āPlease give me another chance. Iām a wreck without you.ā
āYou spend all your time preaching about waiting for love. Well here it is. Right in front of you, and youāre going to turn your back on it.ā
āBut you are going to have to live the rest of your life knowing that youāve turned your back on love.ā
āAnd that makes you a hypocrite. Have a nice life.ā
āAnd how are things down under?ā
āE-mail is for geeks and pedophiles.ā
āThat little wager of yours? Count me in.ā
ā What are the terms?ā
āIn English? Iāll fuck your brains out.ā
āBecause Iām the only person you canāt have, and it kills you.ā
āYouāve got yourself a bet, baby!ā
āEverybody loves me, and I intend to keep it that way.ā
āWhy canāt we be together?ā
āYou wanna know why? Because I donāt trust myself with you.ā
āYou could be a model. Itās too bad youāre not sexy.ā
āKeep your legs together. This isnāt Jamaica.ā
āIntroduce them to your world of sex, drugs and⦠what else do you do?ā
āMy God. You are completely pussy-whipped.ā
āWhat happened to us?ā
āYouāre in love with them, you donāt love me anymore.ā
āHmm, quite the predicament youāre in.ā
āWell let me tell you something, people donāt change overnight. You and I are two of a kind. At least I have the guts to admit it.ā
āNot only will you ruin your reputation, youāll destroy theirs.ā
āI know how to alleviate menstrual cramps, thank you very much.ā
āItās not like you have a husband - unless youāre married to Jesus.ā
āItās not you, itās meā¦Iām completely fucked up.ā
āI thought I was in love with you, but it was just a lie.ā
āI just wanted to see what you were like in bed.ā
āI wanted it to work, but unfortunately I feel nothing.ā
āYouāre such a coward! Look at yourself!ā
āDonāt touch me! Donāt touch me! Donāt fucking touch me!ā
āI canāt stand that holier-than-thou bullshit, and yet, Iām completely infatuated.ā
āItās okay. You can laugh. I promise not to tell anyone.ā
āOkay, letās try it again only this time Iām gonna stick my tongue in your mouth, and when I do that I want you to massage my tongue with yours. And thatās what first base is.ā
āThey took down my pants and started writing the alphabet with their tongue.ā
āIāve been very well-informed of your reputation.ā
āYou promise people the world in order to get them into bed with you.ā
āRelationships seem too distracting. Iād rather concentrate on my studies.ā
āGet your ass on the bed and prepare for the fuck of your life!ā
āHow can someone so charming be so manipulative?āĀ