it ain't me

MONTY BADUN. 17. WALT HIGH SENIOR. SON OF JASPER BADUN. NOT GOING TO STEAL YOUR DOG.

[montybadun]

Are expiration dates on stuff real? 

[montybadun]

are you ready to lose your virginity?

No. Every dude hates sex, especially when they’re probably going to have it with one of the few people on the planet they actually care about. 

Send Me Questions And I Will Answer With Definite Lies

[montybadun]

Did you want to lose your virginity this summer?

Yep, I can’t think of any place better to do that than under an all powerful genie’s roof. 

Send Me Questions And I Will Answer With Definite Lies

[montybadun]

TEXT 📝 STANTY

Stanley: Hello, Monty. I was wondering if we could possibly establish an "I don't touch your property, you don't touch my property" clause this year. It feels strange that I'd have to ask outright since it seems like it should be an understood roommate agreement, but there it is.

Monty: I think a better plan would be building a wall out of Legos so it feels like we live in two separate places, and maybe as a bonus you stepping on some of the Legos barefoot in the process, but sure, whatever.

[heavensghost]

i literally have no idea how to make friends I cannot small talk like what do u even say to a real person

[montybadun]

text 💬 booty 😇

Boo: You are So lucky I can't stand Stanley either. Fine.

[montybadun]

( 😇 ) an innocent text

text meme | send one for a…

( 😇 ) innocent text for @boo2themax !!

[montybadun]

text 💬 booty 😇

Monty: If anyone asks why a wheel fell off of Stanley's desk chair when he sat in it, I was with you studying all night and definitely was not at my cottage.

[montybadun]

☕

text meme | send one for a…

( ☕ ) ‘spilling tea’ text for @perfectlypari !!

[montybadun]

text 💬 party ☕

Monty: You know how Shray always has so much energy I wanna punch him in the face? I think his secret is that he eats cookie dough for breakfast.

[montybadun]

stanleyradcliffe‌:

Even crazy people have logic that makes sense to them! And of course I have hobbies. I like spending time with my dogs and playing music – and, of course, organizing things. That’s always a good time! What about you? Any interests aside from giving me a hard time?

That doesn’t mean it makes sense to us, though. Unless you’re like one of those Criminal Minds dudes and it’s your job to think like you’re nuts. Uh... I like videogames and doing the soundboard for MickFM. And avoiding human interaction, that’s a good one, too.

[montybadun]

stanleyradcliffe‌:

That’s very unsound logic – if she were afraid of dry cleaners, she wouldn’t wear any of the furs she loved since there’s no other way of cleaning them. Or, if she did, you’re suggesting she never washed them which is disgusting and makes her even more terrifying to me. Policing? If offering people suggestions on how to stay safe and happy is policing, I’ll do it forever, thank you very much. And that’s good that you didn’t hear about anything like that! Neither did I, which means people had a very successful Halloween, and I’d 100% rather have people be safe and happy than have had my worries be validated.

I mean, we’re literally talking about a crazy lady, why do you think her logic would be sound? Okay, okay, jeez. I don’t care that much, keep being a buzzkill if you think it’s working for you. Do you have any other hobbies, though? Or are you like... all safety, all the time? 

[montybadun]

TWITTER | SHRONTY

@shraymajik: Do not panic, Walt! This will get fixed ASAP. I wish I could help my mother more actively at fixing this, but my magic is nowhere near as powerful as hers. In the meantime, we can use this time to really embrace and appreciate each other's differences! I challenge you all to shake your neighbor's hand today, and embrace that they might have powers that you've never known of before!

@montymonster: What if my hand's like as big as their whole entire body now? This seems like a pretty terrible plan, Shray.

[montybadun]

I DON'T TRUST YOUR NEW HOTNESS. WHO ARE YOUUUU

eanonymously message me anything you want to tell me before 2019 ends.

[montybadun]

text 💬 monley

Stanley: Because I'm *not* gross. I'm one of the cleanest people I know. Unless you're allergic to dogs, I guess.

Monty: Do you actually take stuff that literally or are you just being like that on purpose?

[montybadun]

I missed you when you were gone. And then you came back all hot and I don't know what to do with myself. That's why I've been avoiding you.

anonymously message me anything you want to tell me before 2019 ends.

[montybadun]

text 💬 mobbie

Bobbie: I don't know if that's better or worse, love. Wait, it's a cricket bat, isn't it?! XD

Bobbie: LMAO! Where did this new bought of badassery come from?! It's my favorite thing! XD But also, please don't bludgeon your cottagemates, love. I don't want to be the one to explain to your cousin that you got sent to jail for battery and you are too pretty to not have a favorite bra later on. Now, why do your cottagemates need to get wrecked exactly? Lol.

Monty: No, I was thinking I'd beat him with the live kind, with wings.

Monty: I don't know, I watched too many Fast and the Furious movies while I was going to school at home? But thanks for trying to protect me from jail - does Walt even HAVE a jail? Would they have to send me back out of the bubble for that? And is that really true? I thought people liked it better when there were no bras. Also, Stanley is annoying and I don't know the difference between the other two. If one was injured I'd be able to tell the difference.