me when antis try to tell me that cmbyn âpromotes pedophiliaâÂ
The whole âpedophiliaâ argument in the CMBYN community has been pretty prevalent from the start, so I thought Iâd give my two cents on the issue.Â
In my opinion, the fact of the matter is that there is a seven year age difference between Elio and Oliver. Seven years, developmentally speaking, is rather a lot when the two people in question are 24 and 17. Elio may have been relatively mature for his age, and everything they did may have been consensual, but some people are going to be uncomfortable with this age difference. People who, perhaps, are victims of child sexual assault, or who are simply uncomfortable with an age gap of this size. None of us can condemn anyone for that, and itâs perfectly reasonable grounds for not wanting to watch the film.
That being said, when you say to me, âI wonât watch Call Me By Your Name because Oliver is a predator or because it promotes pedophilia or because itâs not an accurate representation of the gay community,â man, you bet Iâm not gonna listen to you.Â
I can talk as much as I want about the age of consent in 1980s Italy, or about the true definition of âpedophiliaâ (which is a psychiatric disorder in which someone experiences sexual attraction primarily toward pre-pubescent children), but youâre right insofar as the moral dilemma that comes with the relationship between Elio and Oliver. Unfortunately, this dilemma is only an issue when you havenât read the book or seen the film. Itâs evident and incredibly clear in both of these that the relationship between the two of them is both consensual and entirely egalitarian. âCan I kiss you?â âDoes this make you happy?â âAm I offending you?â Itâs not clear to me how you can be an authority on this film if you havenât seen it. How can you tell me anything about the book or the movie when everything you know is misinformation?Â
The final point is one that I have the most time for. Yes, the gay community isnât represented fully by two upper-class, (beautiful) white, cis, bi men. Does that strip CMBYN of its agency, of its right as a piece of LGBT media? Absolutely not. Just like the way Blue Is The Warmest Color or Sense8 donât fully represent the community, CMBYN is limited in its ability to appeal to everyone under our rainbow flag.Â
Finally, Iâd like to point something out that doesnât really get said a lot in these. Call Me By Your Name is a fictional story. Even if it did depict pedophilia, that is in no way a promotion of it. The 1994 picture LĂ©on: The Professional starring Natalie Portman shows a relationship between a 12 year old girl and an at least 40 year old man. Does this relationship endanger the quality of the film as a whole? No. Does it make it reasonable for someone to not want to watch it? You bet your fucking ass it does. Personally, Iâm incredibly uncomfortable with the film A Clockwork Orange (1971) since one of the first scenes portrays graphic rape. I acknowledge that itâs widely considered a fantastic film, a cult classic, but I wonât watch it for personal reasons that, again, I cannot be condemned for.
Call Me By Your Name is one of the most beautiful celebrations of love Iâve ever had the pleasure of seeing. It makes me miserable that some people canât see that, but you know what? I canât condemn them for that, either.Â
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