moonatoms

lee. 30s. running on too much black tea and not enough sleep.

[robaran]

He's been so stressed, so I planned this weekend away at Seven Springs, but he didn't want to go because of work. So we fought this whole morning. And then I… I said awful things. Those can't be the last words we say to each other. Doctor, please.

THE PITT 2.03

[jelestes]

this shot is absolutely insane btw

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[pittgifs]

[thememedaddy]

[manuciruja]

I think it's insane that even in the most leftist and "progressive" spaces the idea of equating morality with looks is alive and present and no one fucking bats an eye at it. like racists and mysoginysts are always portrayed as fat and hairy and generally unkept, as a contrast to the morally good and attractive leftists of course; people will have no problem being genuinely fucking awful about someone's appearance if they're deemed to be a "bad person". and the worst part is you point all of this out and people act like you're reading too much into things like no dude you gotta start using your brain more

[moonatoms]

tbd and sorry for whining but sometimes yelling (or in this case typing) into the void helps organize my thoughts. I hate how quickly I let my brain ruin things for myself.

I haven't written in forever and it's been bugging me so much and then on vacation I felt inspired to write fic again. I think it was a mixture of being inspired by something, but also generally feeling more creative because I felt more relaxed and also just had more time. And I actually liked the things I wrote? And that felt so good and I kept getting more ideas.

And then I started overthinking. Everything. And now it all feels so out of character and just sounds wrong and flat when I reread it and that immediately sucked the joy out of it. A few days ago, I wanted to write more and now I don't. And I definitely don't want to share anything because I feel like everyone is going to judge/think it's bad and while that should never influence your writing, let's be honest, it does. At least for me.

And I wish I could have more faith in myself (in general, this extends to all areas of my life) and not constantly be so self-critical and I wish I could stop overthinking things.

I just want to go back to a few days ago, when I felt excited about a new fandom and wanted to write!!

Ugh.

[russsiawave]

[postilionstruckbylightning]

I don’t like how you put these two photos together, as if to imply that the dumplings with the paw print have anything to do with this sweet, innocent angel who has never done anything wrong.

[coast-modern]

isn't it kind of crazy that for any moving vehicle you need to wear a seatbelt but then on buses they're just like fuck it stand up whatever

[robaran]

They tried every anti-seizure medication, but I still had episodes every few months or so.

[moonatoms]

ask game

tagged by @effiestrinkets, thank you so much!

1. what’s your blog title from?

it's from a quote by the norwegian author jostein gaarder: “when we sense something, it is due to the movement of atoms in space. when i see the moon it is because moon atoms penetrate my eye.”

2. what movie have you watched most recently? what did you think of it?

i never, never watch movies (i don't really have the attention span for them) so i honestly don't really remember. oh wait. my friend and i decided to rewatch the return of the king when she visited me 1.5 months ago. so i guess that?

3. what are you looking forward to right now?

sleeping in my own bed on saturday and also cooking some healthy-ish meals. don't get me wrong, i love travelling and i love eating out but i do love the comforts of home and my gastrointestinal tract would like a little less fatty, fried and sugary foods.

also being back on my trapeze, i miss training!

4. if you could do anything at all today, what would it be?

i can't really think of anything. it's my last day in canada and we had a perfectly lovely evening involving a nice stroll by the water, delicious ramen and ice cream, so that was pretty ideal.

5. what’s your drink of choice? (coffee/tea order, alcohol of choice, pop, etc)

i don't drink coffee and my go to tea order is either a chai latte, a london fog (when available) or an english breakfast tea with milk and a bit of sugar.

unfortunately i do love a coke zero and a canada dry as far as sodas are concerned, but a nice apfelschorle really hits the spot on hot days, too.

as far as alcohol goes, i like a good dry rosé or a cider on a warm summer evening or some sort of fruity cocktail, bonus points if it has passion fruit in it.

6. what’s your hair routine like? anything special?

lol i am soooooo boring when it comes to doing stuff with my hair, i have no patience for it. my hair is a bit curly and i usually just have it cut into a bob and wait until it grows out to my shoulder and then do the same thing all over again.

i never style it, i don't even blow dry it, i just let it air dry. the most i will do with it is put it up in a ponytail for exercise/work (when seeing patients), but i literally take out the hair tie the second i get back to my desk at work because i actually hate the feeling of having my hair tied back so much.

i use shampoo? and conditioner? like that's really it.

7. what's your favourite way to travel? Is there a mode of travel you haven't done that you want to experience?

i think trains, because i can relax, even if travelling on the deutsche bahn is always a biiiit stressful. also biking! i really want to do more multi-day bike tours!

8. favourite month of the year and why?

hmmmm maybe may? late spring, it's usually already nice out but not yet too hot, multiple public holidays.

9. favourite time of day and why?

early mornings. i used to hate them but i am actually an early bird. i often go to the gym at 6am before work. i like waking up early and realizing i have time to lounge in bed, especially in the spring when the birds are chirping and it's already light out.

10. do you play or follow any sports? & elaborate on that?

the age-old discussion of whether aerial is considered a sports. if yes, then yes, if not, idk if supplemental strength training at the gym counts. i also like hiking (does that count?) and biking.

i used to follow biathlon but haven't really in the past few years. i don't really watch anything else tbh.

11. what kind of music is stuck in your head a lot lately?

whatever i'm currently doing a trapeze routine to. the last song i used was everywhere i go by sleeping at last. i have been considering doing a new act to unraveling by milck so i have been listening to that song on repeat lately, trying to suss out if it would work.

12. dishes or laundry?

laundry! i don't have a dishwasher but love to cook and i hate, hate doing the dishes so much. i don't actually mind doing laundry tbh.

13. what's something you learned recently?

in an effort to catch up on some reading i got distracted reading a case report and somewhat randomly read an article about bickerstaff brainstem encephalitis, which i have learned about in the past, but had forgotten a lot about already, on account of it being pretty rare.

14. if you could give a TED talk on anything, what would you talk about?

penguins. no, i am not joking. i did a penguin tour in new zealand once and knew so many random facts that the tour guide asked me if i also worked with penguins lol.

15. what’s a piece of advice you find yourself giving a lot?

"believe in yourself", maybe? i am very bad at that.

16. what's a piece of advice you would give to yourself five years ago?

p much all work related: don't stress so much about residency and the timeline. it will pass and what comes after will be better, just like everyone has said. you will make it through your icu rotation and your psych rotation will end up being a lot less bad than anticipated.

17. do you believe in luck and superstition? do you carry any lucky items or follow any lucky rules?

my first instinct is to say no, but i do have a few. like never using the q-word at work.

i also do follow some of the typical german rules/superstitions: you have to look someone in the eye while clinking glasses, it's bad luck to wish someone an early happy birthday,...

18. are you musical? play any instruments or sing? would you ever perform for an audience?

i played the recorder (soprano, alto, tenor and bass) for ten years and the flute for about eight. i also briefly played the violin and the cello (about one year each), so okay-ish? i haven't played an instrument in a few years though and i'd struggle to perform in front of an audience.

19. write, type, or speak?

speak or type. i have typical doctor's handwriting, it's unreadable. i actually used to get in trouble with the nurses because they sometimes could not read my orders (we used paper charts in the stroke unit i was working in).

20. what do you wish someone would ask you?

i spent like five minutes trying to think of something but could not. sorry.

tagging @machinesroot @shostakovalexei @mulderscully @pellaaearien @5chatzi @doctorhelena and whoever else wants to do this

[overthinkingao3]

We write for ourselves, but we post for others.

(this came out of a conversation in the comments on a previous post about an author threatening to stop updating a fic because of lack of engagement)

So there’s this idea that fic writers should write for themselves and not care too much about stats or engagement,

and i totally get the sentiment behind that. if writing becomes entirely about stats and external validation, something important does get lost - creative freedom and joy, conviction in your own writing

but i also think:

“i write for myself, but i post for others.”

because posting fic is not only self-expression. it’s social. ao3 is called an archive, but emotionally it often functions as a community space.

people post for connection, for participation, for others to bear witness to their pain and trauma and grief,

and i don’t think most people are asking to be admired so much as acknowledged. there’s something deeply human about wanting another person to encounter something that mattered to you and go:

“ok, yeah, I see what you were trying to say. I see you.”

especially because fanfic is often people processing very real feelings through fictional characters at a safe distance, one step removed,

and then uploading that deeply personal thing into a shared archive and hoping somebody else might connect with it.

And i think that’s why it hurts so much when you summon up the courage and post a fic into the void and you get nothing back,

and then it’s like,

does anyone see me? does anyone even care?

[moghedien]

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

[moghedien]

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

[chainofclovers]

Put in the tags the completely finished (whether cancelled or wrapped up on its own terms) TV series that has YOUR perfect ending, however you define that

Please don’t include huge spoilers for the specifics of the endings, and it would also make me happy if people don’t use this to talk about the shows whose endings they hated

[thememedaddy]

[anexperimentallife]

Also applies to "AI" "artists" and "musicians."

[alhashimis]

12 days of leverage christmas — day 01 family

you know, i never had that cool a time on a job. it's a walk-away. and i got focus issues, brother, you kept me right on. i'm really good at one thing. parker. only one thing. but, you, you know other things, and i can't stop doing my one thing, can't retire, and-- wanna know what i think? not really. how long before you fall apart again? oh, i'm touched. yeah, well, a guy like you can't be out of the game, alright? that's why you're a wreck. you need the chase. yeah, i'll manage. [...] you pick the jobs. my job is helping people. i find bad guys. well, go find some bad guys. bad guys have money. black king. white knight.

[insufficient-multitudes]

no because the second I feel like I'm "bothering" anyone I'm out