Self Discovery @moonbeam27 - Tumblr Blog

ONlLY FANS: Why, What, and Where

One quandary I have encountered is "moral" judgement of my character when it comes to Tumblr and OnlyFans account. My friend who happens to be an attorney said something like, even if "nothing" is happening, and to this I am sure he means something like prostitution, that if I post pictures that hint or tease of sex acts, then my moral character will be questioned. I appreciate him for approaching the subject with me because seeing other points of view is important.

It frustrates me that we live in a world where we degrade each other over sexuality. Women are held to a different standard than men which is appalling! A woman who has been sexually intimate with multiple partners is "a slut" whereas men are "a stud". But, it is the Christian conservative world view that currently Is. 🤷 So how do I navigate it?

Number 1. I am me. I know my moral compass and that I am someone of integrity and will only do what I feel comfortable doing.

2. Living in fear causes stress, anxiety, and blocks happiness.

3. I am honest with who I am now and am continuingly learning and growing.

4. My Son is my #1 responsibility beyond my own self-care.

What I have decided to do is to post my photos and journal on OnlyFans and will respond to messages there. I still don't accept dick pictures, still don't post pictures that would be compromising and that would be considered "lewd" to me. I have had people ask to meet with me through video chat. I don't know if I will yet. This is an area that I am exploring how I feel.

If no one subscribes, that is 100% okay. There is not any pressure or expectation that followers DO subscribe. When first exploring creating OnlyFans, I polled my friends here and so appreciate the feedback and support. But, going back to points 1 & 3, I want to be clear that I still will follow my moral compass.... especially with the veiled threat of being an "unfit mother". I have to consider number 4. I initially thought I would pull content from Tumblr that is blocked to post on OnlyFans. I might still. But, probably not for awhile and as I've grown as a person, so has my artistic tastes.

If you choose to subscribe and follow me, I appreciate it! If not, that is okay too. Much love and stay safe!!

The link to my OnlyFans:. https://onlyfans.com/40737330/moonbeam27

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Happy belated Easter!! I apologize for my long absence. I have been posting at my OnlyFans blog, but with life as it has been the last few months, it has been an interesting ride. Because that is a paid subscription, I've made sure that I post frequently there.

So, update from Arizona. My first day back to work on January 26th, my company of 11 years, let me go. (Lawsuit pending as the reason my manager of a year fired me is protected by ADA laws.)

Being unemployed has been quite the education. When I'm stronger, I want to start a foundation that helps women get their hair done and obtain makeup to help with confidence going into job interviews.

I have secured a new position with a new company beginning May 5th. It is also in the field of higher education. 🎉

But, between January and now, I got Covid (very mildly), had foot surgery, am in the middle of finally having much needed repairs on the slab leak and replacing the HVAC.

2021 is a year of solutions! ♥️

I hope yours is going well. Soon, I hope to be able to write more frequently.

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Happy, happy New Year! I hope we all have a much better year in 2021!

November 21

Happy Saturday my friends. I deeply apologize for my absence. I will try to upload OnlyFans messages if I can, so you will have details about the last month or so.

Long story short, everything combined in a perfect storm where it impacted my mental health. Getting out of bed and eating was a good thing on some days.

I am doing much better now after multiple doctor visits, counseling visits, and visits with lawyers. I feel I have a team in place to support me through the upcoming challenges as well.

During my darkest hours, I thought of my son's needs and family and of my friends in OnlyFans and Tumblr. Knowing that I am "accountable" to you was one thing that helped me sleep through the night and get up the next day. I have struggled with suicide throughout my life for years as I have written before, but this October was the closest I have come in feeling that I should just die.

I have learned that when the suicidal thoughts are so strong, often it is because my hormones are out of balance. So my rational brain prevailed. I am so grateful for my Tumblr and OnlyFans community. It was such an accident that I even have this blog. Me, a person who doesn't like attention or standing out.. 🤷

I began my blog for many reasons, one is journalling helps to heal and organize your thoughts and hopefully by being transparent those who find me are benefited by my experiencs. Another reason is because I was leaning who I AM. Learning to see me as who I am and want to be. I had hated taking pictures of myself and had body dysmorphia. Being this vulnerable is SCARY! There have been people that are unkind or crude and vulgar in their communication and dishonest with the use of my photos. But those are rare exceptions. The majority of people I have interacted here have been so supportive, kind, and often understanding. ♥️

When I go back through my blog, I can see the growth and changes in me physically and spiritually. I am still a work in progress as we all are.

I think I have found a new way to grow and give back, so when I figure it out, I will let you know. #gratitude

I will try to post here more frequently, but do give priority to my OnlyFans blog because my friends there have subscribed.

I hope all is well with you. Keep your chin up, each day brings beauty and opportunity for joy. It is always where we focus. ♥️♥️♥️

From OnlyFans Sept 23

Good evening. Today, my AC decided it wanted a permanent vacation.

This unit is original to the house (built in the 70s). My AC guy said that only the pump has been replaced on it. It was a Goettle unit. I'm so impressed! Unfortunately, it died before I was ready to replace it.

I have so many other things I want/planned. So, now to figure out my options.

OnlyFans

From OnlyFans Sept 22

I'm such a girlie girl when it comes to soaps and lotions. We were almost out of sanitizer and soaps and my birthday is near, so we were going to take advantage of the Bath and Bodyworks sale and grab a few restocking supplies. This little fairy girl and a little unicorn sanitizer holder "flew" into my bag.. I told my son that she has to be his "good" characters if he uses them in his movies, because she is my imaginary "Me". And I have my unicorn friend and can fly!!

OnlyFans

From OnlyFans Sept 21.

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Good morning! Back to work. My son recovered from his ailment yesterday and so life is returning to normal and playing catch-up.

Love this quote I found. "Show class, have pride, and display character. If you do, winning takes care of itself." ~Paul Bryant (University of Alabama football coach).

I believe it is true. Everything falls in place as you

From OnlyFans post Sept 21

We got home yesterday at 2 a.m. after a beautiful drive. Somehow, it seems, at each trip the kiddo gets sick. Today has been dealing with determining if he has dehydration or a kidney stone or something along those lines.

*Edit. After a long day, he was able to keep pedialyte down. We had him drink water, water with electrolytes, and given Tylenol for pain this morning while getting ready for school. But he threw up every time he peed and his urine wasn't dark. His step mom suggested pedialyte and some ibuprofen around 12:30. I figured it wouldn't hurt to try it. I'm thrilled she was right!

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But I prepared anyway by running to get groceries and getting the rental car returned early so we could be at the hospital or urgent care.

I'm exhausted. I need a vacation! Luckily, the cat insisted I lay down.

Friday was so much fun! My kiddo got to play at the beach in the morning. Then we went to Point Loma for a quick visit. (Darn Coronavirus has the Tide pools park close 30 minutes earlier than listed and traffic impacted our arrival. )

We spent time appreciating the many military members who sacrificed their time, energy, and lives for our country. It was a humbling, beautiful visit to the cemetery.

But, our cell service is so spotty! It sure helps me appreciate service in Arizona.

OnlyFans

From OnlyFans post Sept 18th. For more pictures follow the link.

We Made it to California, but not the hotel. 🤷🤦 I think MapQuest got stuck. I was directed an hour out of my way and the time stopped updating... I can't always be an hour and forty minutes from the destination. I'm so grateful for the 7-11 clerk who bent the policy at 1 AM to let me use the facilities and then helped me double checked my bearings. Luckily, it has been a good drive. The kiddo fell asleep awhile ago which left me with my thoughts. 🤔 And great music. I found I still love he who was Home. 🏘️

https://youtu.be/-YsMvzgeSuI

OnlyFans

From OnlyFans Sept 16

While preparing for this trip, I enjoyed listening to comedy. It builds energy, laughter boosts endorphins. 🤣🤣🤣 I heard this bit on my Amazon and hunted around until I found it. His perception on boobs was hilarious! I wish I could find the full bit because there was also profound wisdom that I don't think is included in this YouTube... I'll paraphrase... When talking about walking with his wife and seeing a woman walking on the beach in California, his wife was disgusted as he appreciated her figure.. saying, "they're fake". He compared viewing the woman with appreciation to appreciation of a hot truck. "I'll appreciate it, but it doesn't mean I'm driving. " 🤣 There is beauty everywhere.

My neighbor's neice who is stunningly beautiful walked into a church gathering where she heard several people talking very degradingly and spitefully about her. Her feelings were hurt... understandably. For some reason, women especially seem to tear other women down. Perhaps it is jealousy, maybe fear, or perhaps they were raised without manners? Learning to be secure in yourself takes practice. Meanwhile, boobs...can't hide them well. Might as well enjoy them. 😁

https://youtu.be/u7cSLk-rrCM

OnlyFans

From OnlyFans post 9/16. Picture and little video there. I am going to try to do a Live Chat next Saturday or Sunday. I don't know if that allows me to answer questions or just to share whatever is going on at the time. But figure I should keep stretching myself. 😏

OnlyFans

Lol!! I did a Live stream to say Goodnight for like 16 seconds. 😏 No idea how that feature works on your end. But it was probably loud with the shower running anyways. 😁

I think I will try it again some time when it is not so late.

Post from OnlyFans Sept 9th.

Today is the birthday of my favorite cousin. ( Is it fair to have favorites? ) I noticed that I had been quite depressed this weekend / week. So today, vowed to celebrate his life, because he definitely wouldn't want to see me grieving constantly. My heart still has been tender. But, This morning I took time to enjoy my bed, stretch and appreciate it, then celebrated the low temperatures this morning taking my son to school (below 80°!!!)

My cat came early in the day for cuddles and then actually sat on my lap for almost 30 minutes. That never happens!! So touching!!! Then, tonight went for a drive to enjoy the beautiful weather and cool, dark skies with the convertible top down. He loved road trips, so a perfect way to celebrate his influence in my life.

Enjoy and cherish your family and friends because time passes so quickly.

OnlyFans

Post from August 31, 2020 on OnlyFans

I am pretty sure my photo must be blurry or my eyes are just too tired. 🤦🤷 I began working this morning at 5 and now at 8:30 just clocked off. Now, dinner, pick up the house, laundry... I think I need to go on vacation again. 😉

I have a friend in Kentucky who needs to come back to Arizona, so I have been looking at the idea of flying out and then doing a road trip back with her. Her husband is going through some PTSD issues and needs to visit a counselor. I want to drive, so win/win. In my planning and research, I reached out to a friend about a visit on the way to AZ. He is aware of my OnlyFans and asked me if Bella Thorne impacted me at all.

I must admit, I didn't have a clue to who she is or what happened. For me, any money I earn through my blog goes into my son's savings / education fund. (So basically, using it to teach him whether it be formally, or culturally through travel or financially with investing, it isn't something I have chosen to stress over. I am EXTREMELY grateful for the support, generosity, kindness, affection, love shown to me. I am honored to have the trust and opportunity to share ideas and experiences with others as we explore this beautiful life of ours.

So, I took a bit of time to learn what happened. Bella is one popular lady apparently. So, she charged about $20/ month to subscribe. But, then, sadly misled her fans on the content she was going to provide through private photos. ☹️ It seems so strange that she would lie.. 🤔

I understand changing your mind or growing in a different direction. But one minute, "here you go, give me $200".. then not delivering. Lame!

Good news. Her actions didn't impact my funds or how they release funds to me (as of today.)

But, I had to write before watering the plants when a YouTube podcast guy popped up in the news feed saying such disparaging things about women on OnlyFans. Any time we say, "all or everyone" before a statement, we are most likely wrong. As you my friends and Fans will attest not "everyone" on OnlyFans is selling nudes. Yet, a Vlogger crudely insinuated all women are doing so and are sex workers. I did make myself listen to the rest of his video as I gathered quotes and do like his idea that she donate money earned to content organizers who have been negatively impacted by her actions. I am sure one reason for the delay in paying out (money isn't available to me until a week after paid) is to give banks processing time. With as many people asking for refunds for her.. 🤷 what a mess!

One reason I love OnlyFans is that they verified this IS ME! I have often worried when people stole my photos, what they were doing with them. I try to be authentic and truthful.

Tomorrow is my son's Second 1st day of 3rd grade. He is going to be going to Prenda in a small group environment rather than the online public school COVID situation. This has been a huge deal at my place. A lot of emotions on all fronts. I am optimistic and confident. 😁

*For additional pictures, you can follow the link.

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Working from home has some perks, short commute, great co-workers, and PJs! I was laughing this morning while working remembering this sketch by Michael McIntyre.

#Youtube

Working from home has some perks, short commute, great co-workers, and PJs! I was laughing this morning while working remembering this sketch by Michael McIntyre.

#Youtube

After a good, but frustrating day. I decided to reset my day by taking a shower & then played with Snapchat filters. 😂😂😂 I can see why people have so much fun.

No need to join OnlyFans, but I did / will post there first and most.

Laughing is such great medicine.

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