this blog is officially 100% archived. my new multi can be found at @faeloriah & varka can be found at @wulfhearted. I still have some verses to post up & bios to edit but people can ask questions until then since I'm not writing yet until I have that done. I have dropped some muses as well.
I went ahead & followed those who I have stuff planned with, that I remember at the moment. so feel free to follow if you still wish to interact. i won't be following first otherwise just to give people the opportunity to break mutuals if they don't wish to be anymore. <3
I'll reblog this a few times while I'm moving threads & such over to the new one, then this blog will be deleted.
i am holding all of your hands when i say this. let's collectively reframe "sorry it's taken so long / sorry i haven't been able to write much / etc" to "thank you for your patience or thanks for always being excited with me, even if i take a while or thanks for understanding that life gets busy!" or just... allowing yourself to enjoy writing without any time limits applied or need to explain yourself or ask for forgiveness.
i promise, you're worth the wait of writing with, you're worth the patience, and you're worth the consideration. this is a hobby! it's supposed to be fun, not something we feel obligated or chained to.
so don't apologize for taking too long, it's not too long and anyone who rushes or guilts someone else for responses should probably resort their own priorities. also i love you and i hope today is kind to you.
What the public saw of Yingxing was the complete opposite of what Ren had the opportunity to see. How someone who acted so perfect, a smile when greeting guests & fans to be a good 'host'. He was the perfect image of what a celebrity in the music industry should be — as if people expected only the best things from them. These amber brown eyes of his however saw the rougher parts that Yingxing tucked away from the world considering how often Ren tended to push the mans buttons. For instance, right now.
It didn't surprise Ren to see this anger slipping out from Yingxing considering the days in the hospital that had been spent in silence between them both. The pianist wasn't going to let such emotions come from him in the public eye but Ren could see it in that purple eyed gaze of his. He knew once they were in the private confines of their home that Yingxing would want some sort of conversation. Something Ren was immediately wanting to avoid out of not wishing to deal with anything other then sleeping. He'd purposefully pushed the other mans buttons though, the only reason why things were devolving this way.
Nothing was said however from his lips, no single movement was made either, even when those worn down hands of Yingxing's grasped onto his suit. He didn't have to say anything for Ren to know that his boyfriend was upset — any normal person would be plagued with such feelings after what'd happened. Ren just didn't want to have to say what was on his mind. How he'd still make that choice again even if Yingxing hated him for it. His life would hardly mean anything if Yingxing was to ever lose his life, especially if Ren had been able to prevent it.
His gaze was held off to the side but that hardly lasted a few seconds before he fixed a neutral expression onto Yingxing. The pang of guilt that stung at him was far worse then the aching pain of his still healing wound. Yes, upsetting the person that deeply meant something to him was never something Ren wanted to do but ... he couldn't lie either. He didn't regret his choice regardless of what Yingxing wanted from him. So he gave the man this moment to be mad, to say what he wanted to say before any words passed from his own lips.
The slightest flinching twitch of his pointer finger was given in response to the other tightly winding his arms around him. Ren didn't stop him though even if it did make the gunshot wound underneath his shirt throb. All he did was let out a long drawn sigh, hand coming to rest against the small of Yingxing's back. " I know. " Fingers of the other hand gently ran themselves through the locks of silver white hair that streamed down the pianists back. " My promise was to keep you safe, I did that. The contract may not matter to you but it's what I signed. " His voice was low & rough but not so much that Yingxing couldn't hear him. " Your life or mine. Yours comes first. "
Yingxing is practically the epitome of stubbornness & passion alike. Someone who if you told 'you can't do that.' would set out to do that exact thing just to prove people wrong. Tell him he can't make something, ok well he'll set out to do it anyway. The man hardly knows the word stop because his drive always draws him forward to prove those around him wrong especially being a short lived species. Yingxing has the arrogance to do so, the skill level to back such an emotion, and isn't afraid to ruffle some feathers in the process.
A bit of rambling there but to add to it is the process of his craft and how much care he takes in doing it right. Yingxing isn't one to cut corners to make things quicker nor does he give himself the luxury of resting often. Details, making sure everything is done right with no mistakes which leads to fixations & late night hours. The one downside to him is that he'll do enough to keep the engines of his body running forward but not fixate on doing something so. The companionship of friends dear to him is probably one of the rare instances where he'll let himself “indulge”, when his head isn't shoved into work.
This is to say that craftsmanship is very dear to him, it's practically become his life's purpose so taking the time to make sure it's done right & properly. That is equally as important to him as completing projects themselves. Both as a show to his own skill as well as to those who helped him get here.
bold — always applies.
italic — sometimes applies.
strike — never applies / hard limit.
— 𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 / 𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒 : is submissive | is dominant | prefers to top | prefers to bottom | likes to switch | identifies as heterosexual | identifies as homosexual | identifies as bisexual | identifies as pansexual | identifies as demisexual | identifies as asexual | enjoys sex with men | enjoys sex with women | enjoys sex with aliens | enjoys sex with androids | enjoys sex with monsters | enjoys sex with any sex / gender | enjoys sex with multiple people at once | initiates | waits for partner to initiate | spits | swallows | prefers sex in the morning | prefers sex at night | will have sex anytime | no sex drive | low sex drive | average sex drive | high sex drive | hypersexual | fluctuating sex drive.
— 𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 / 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 : small build | medium build | athletic build | muscular build | curvy build | voluptuous build | wears boxers | wears briefs | wears boxer briefs | wears lingerie | goes ‘ commando ’ | shaves / waxes | manscapes | doesn’t shave / wax | cup size a – c | cup size d – f | 1 – 5" in length | 6 – 9″ in length | 10” or over in length.
— 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐒 : is silent / makes little to no sounds | is very quiet | is very loud | grows in volume over time | bites hand / partner / pillow to muffle themselves | calls out partner’s name | curses | growls | fakes / exaggerates | prefers a quiet partner | prefers a loud / appropriately vocal partner | prefers a responsive partner | no preference towards partner’s volume | is turned on by dirty talk | is turned off by dirty talk.
— 𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐎𝐍𝐒 / 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒: having their hands pinned | pinning their partner’s hands | having their hair pulled | pulling their partner’s hair | being watched ( by their partner ) | being watched ( by a third party ) | watching their partner | receiving oral | giving oral | calling their partner ‘ daddy ’ | being called ‘ daddy ’ | calling their partner ‘mommy ‘ | being called ‘ mommy ‘ | calling their partner ‘ master ‘ | being called ‘ master ‘ | calling their partner ‘ mistress ‘ | being called ‘ mistress ‘ | giving praise | receiving praise | biting / marking | being bitten / marked | spanking | being spanked | teasing | being teased | having toys used on them | using toys on their partner | giving anal | receiving anal | choking | being choked | dirty talk | being tied up | tying their partner up | being worshipped | worshipping their partner | humiliating | being humiliated | degrading | being degraded | being pegged | pegging their partner | being edged | edging | age gap | anonymous sex | blood play | breeding | chastity devices | clothed / partially clothed | condoms | deep - throating | gun play | intercrural sex | knife play | lingerie | nipple play | orgasm denial | overstimulation | pregnancy | prostate milking | public sex | rimming | roleplay | sadism / masochism | size difference | somnophilia | squirting.
— 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐒 : airplane | alleyway | bath | beach | bedroom | boat | bus | car ( foreplay only, not full on sex ) | cathedral / church | cemetery | closet | concert | dressing room | elevator | empty or abandoned building | field | forest | gym | home bathroom | hospital | kitchen | library | movie theatre | museum | ocean | parking lot | planetarium | pool | public bathroom | rooftop | school | sex club | shower | tent | terrace | train | workplace.
I wanted to write a somewhat smallish headcanon when it comes to Blade's name in regards to like the usage of Yingxing & why it's despised on being used.
Yingxing is not a name that he wants to hear himself be called at all. Blade is the name that he's chosen for this identity now for many reasons ( i.e. simply carrying out the duties of a weapon in fulfilling the script & merely being that of a monster ). The mere thought of holding the name Yingxing makes him feel sick considering he sees himself only as an abomination of Abundance. He is everything that Yingxing worked against & lost his home to. All of Yingxing's passions, aspirations & desires died the day that Blade came into existence. His parents & homeworld were ripped from his hands, a child's hands, from the very things Yingxing swore to help defeat by forging weapons. The work that he'd done had been everything to him, it was his pride & joy. What he is now, it's not what Yingxing would of wanted for himself.
Yingxing may have existed once upon a time but no more. Blade or Ren, you can call him that but not Yingxing. That'll only serve to garner a cold response from him. Irritate him, anger him but overall just not any pleasantries.
This is the information for my modern verse when it comes to Ren. It doesn't have to strictly say match up to how current times are but can always take on a more futuristic approach or add fantasy elements. When it comes to interactions that is.
- When Ren was at the age of 5, his parents were killed in a home invasion that spared only him. He’ll always remember the sharp metallic scent of blood in the air, the crimson color of red splattered on the living areas & staining red on his hands while tears slipped down his face. This was the event which deeply left a scar on him for the rest of his life.
- Much of his life was spent running away from the houses he was placed in because they just never felt like home. Ren knew what he lost that day but he never truly moved on from it. The thought of what he once had being replaced just wasn’t something he wanted.
- When Ren was a young adult, he mostly engaged in an underground fighting ring to make ends meet since he’d always been good at ‘fighting’. He uses the monikor of Blade during these fights, a stage name of sorts which people could bet on. Ren still does engage in these fights on & off but mostly works as a bouncer.
- He rents out a small studio space above a chinese restaurant for a discounted price, usually helping the owners with shop repairs, unruly customers / people who bring trouble & cooking on occasions.
- Any connections in this verse I tend to keep separated from one another since the above is like my basis for Ren. Things can diverge into different paths but people are always welcome to say poke in any path. One path I have for him is that he becomes a bodyguard for Yingxing ( @deadn30n ), giving up the fighting life after a health scare. Another path is that he ends up meeting Luocha ( @deadn30n ) by visiting his flower shop often, mostly when he visits his parent’s graves or to freshen up his space a bit.
I have a few Caelus thoughts, some small changes + additions so this'll be an overall master post for all of those since some are small. More may be added to here later as I think of things.
Changing the Cosmic Home Decor event in that Caelus had a bedroom since the very beginning but just hadn't decorated the place yet or shoved in much furniture. So really that's what the event actually is for.
I have the whole trashcan obsession toned down a bit for Caelus in that he isn't like absolutely fixated on them ( in regards to like the Lordly Trashcan minion guys ). He does still like to poke in trashcans, mostly just to see what is inside, since one persons trash could be another persons treasure. Caelus has found some pretty neat things just from doing that.
In addition to the above, Caelus does like to find broken things or old items that no longer work. He's pretty good with his hands but tinkering to try & fix things is a good way for distracting his mind. It's genuinely something he enjoys both doing for himself but for other people as well. This mostly focuses on say broken old furniture, game systems / electronics or fading away antiques.
Caelus's sleep isn't all that good mostly because of the nightmares that he has + the voice of the Stellaron. He knows how people see Stellarons, how destructive they can be, which manifests itself into a fear of sorts. The fear that one day the Stellaron from within will burst forth with no warning or way to be stopped, that he'll somehow ending up hurting those he cares about. The voice of it can be rather distracting as well which is why Caelus usually seeks to busy his hands with something or keep himself occupied. He does have some sort of white noise for at night usually, but it's why he likes tinkering around with stuff & playing games.
This is a small blurb on how I see Caelus's personality which is basically how canon depicts him. He can be pretty unhinged, chaotic & say the goofiest things when conversing with others. Using humor is his way of coping with things sometimes or attempting to help lighten the mood, granted he does observe when it is or isn't appropriate. Caelus wears a smile, even if he doesn't feel like smiling, because it's his way of not wanting to worry others. He isn't really all that honest about his feelings unless someone pesters him about it or Caelus reaches a breaking point where a smile just isn't feasible.
The other thing about Caelus is that he's pretty honest about things but there are times when he isn't. One being his emotions while the other would be information at times. Somethings he keeps to himself whether it's knowledge about something / someone or stories from his own individual adventures. He's usually fairly open about his experiences but that's not always the case, regardless of who you are.
These are the more important details or backbone of my main modern verse for Jing Yuan. More will be added on other posts should I think of other detailsor do some plotting with other people.
For this verse I have Jing Yuan being 45 yrs old. He is formerly from the special forces of the military but retired about 5 yrs ago. Jing Yuan lives alone with his cat, estranged from immediate family, but has a habit of taking Yun into the office with him.
Jing Yuan tends to make his own schedule. Occasional late mornings, breaks in the middle of the day which lead to late nights in the office. He has a rather fatigued appearance because of that, being a mask of sorts to his more cunning interior, but is also just a rather tired individual. Tends to work a variety of cases ranging from criminal, marriage related, more undercover investigating etc etc. Takes on whatever for the most part.
When it comes to his work, Jing Yuan can be a bit of a headache to work with in the fact that he's not a strict follower of rules. A loner mostly when it comes to achieving results but not always in the way people expect from him. Very good at what he does but still a bit of a 'nuisance'.
Weekends are usually spent doing his hobbies which include a mixture of fishing ( usually between morning & afternoon ) & gardening. He usually takes Yun with him on the fishing boat trips as a sort of buddy. Jing Yuan doesn't have many friends really since many have either passed on / connections have faded so he spends a lot of time with his cat.
So something to think about is how those of the Xianzhou eventually fall to that of mara, how it's probably something that Jing Yuan thinks about. Something I feel that is even more so thrown in his face, in a way, after Phantylia's defeat when she taunted him with her statement of "how much longer can you last". The general does at times wonder when it will be his time to go as all those before him have. It's a reminder, a jab, to his rather old age which the average general usually doesn't reach to because of what comes with the job as one. His fatigue + the occasional ache in his joints or bones is telling enough for that to remind him that he's an old man. It's a concern, one of those worries that someone doesn't often talk about but lurks in the back of their mind, because of how sudden such things can be. Will it strike when it's not expected? Will things be in order when it does? Will it happen peacefully? All such questions that roam the expanse of the mind but never leave past the lips.
One additional comment, I guess, is that Jing Yuan worries about Yanqing as well as the Luofu. He's been central in both of those things for such a long time that the idea of leaving when it isn't time doesn't sit well with him. Yanqing being a different case for so many reasons but just the worry of what grief can do to a person. You know people will eventually be gone in your life but you don't think about it nor do you know the reaction until it happens.
This is mostly me writing about my thoughts for Jing Yuans portrayal when it comes to some of the common things I see in fanon, for I guess what I don't agree with or like. Really just kind of a mental note to put my thoughts down for Jing Yuan at least.
There is this idea that Jing Yuan is preparing Yanqing to be the one to take him out, much like the same way in that he did Jingliu, but that's just not something I can see. Jingliu is his master, someone that is/was truly dear to him, & it was extremely painful seeing her marastruck + being the one to intercept her. That's not something he'd wish upon Yanqing nor would Jing Yuan want him to experience the same pain as he has. It's not realistic to think hardship will avoid a person entirely because it won't but wanting for the best outcome is something Jing Yuan would do + does hope for. In the end he simply wants the best for Yanqing since he's not just his apprentice / retainer but someone who he had a hand in raising.
The conception that Jing Yuan is lazy, nope doesn't exist. He may enjoy his naps or have a sleepy demeanor but Jing Yuan has never been lazy. Stress & lack of stimulation in the brain can both lead to feeling fatigued or the body to feel tired. Jing Yuan has never been suited to desk work for hours on end, day back to day, or meetings but it's part of the job nonetheless. Pressure & stress when it comes to managing so many aspects of the Luofu leads to rough times of sleeping or leaving him feeling a bit more fatigued from the near consistent strain. People will always think things about those around them which only adds to underestimations ( key point: cirrus ). He is ultimately one with patience, someone who goes with the story of 'slow & steady wins the race'.
Jing Yuan was not a child when it came to being asked to join the HCQ, as many fanarts like to depict, considering the image depictions we see in the game. I see him as being the youngest in terms of experience + general self when it comes to those of Xianzhou Natives. My portrayal I see him being in the same general age group as that of Yingxing which will of course appear differently since short life species age differently in comparison to those of long life species.
One other thing that I forgot to add in regards to this whole headcanon thing is Jing Yuan when it comes to sex. I don't see him as some dominating experienced daddy person when it comes to intimacy, like 99.9% of anything I write here specifically has him as a virgin / never had a relationship before. A good portion of his life has been serving in battle, training + being the general really doesn't allow a lot of time for such things. He is one who prefers to go slow, is patient & will go with the flow as a way to learn things as he goes. Jing Yuan isn't someone to immediately jump into things or rush from some deep passionate carnal desire. This man has always had the ability for patience + the long term yearning. Savoring is what he's all about instead of just outright consuming.
This kind of goes hand & hand with my portrayal of Dan Heng but is mostly a headcanon meant for Jing Yuan, I don't see him having some IMMEDIATE in love smitten attitude when it comes to Dan Heng. Immediate is mostly the keyword in that because ultimately Dan Heng lives a different life then that of what Dan Feng did, Jing Yuan knows hardly anything about him save for his past. There are a lot of complicated feelings because really he yearns for the friends that were lost ( it's practically stated in his voice lines as well ) but knows that's just not possible. I prefer the concept of learning who Dan Heng is above anything else & the same could be said for my writing of DH because Dan Heng will for sure have that inkling little back behind thought of 'do they see just Dan Feng' so really it takes slow burn regardless of the type of dynamic ( platonic or possible romantic ).
So another headcanon in regards to Jing Yuan's view on the HCQ but this is mostly about after the happenings of the Sedition. Many people see Dan Feng & Yingxing as villains, Jingliu becomes wiped from much of the Luofu's records. It's hard however for ones views to suddenly flip to seeing those you cared & loved as anything but that, people who had your back, who you shared food and drink with, sparred with & conversed with. Jing Yuan finds it extremely difficult to truly see any of them as villains but feels sorrow more then anything, it's why the higher ups were skeptical or looked at Jing Yuan the way they did after the Sedition. The mind can know something but the heart can be at war with the mind as well.
The truth of the matter is that the general doesn't see them in the realm of what others do ( villains you can call it ) but this is something that's kept closely guarded to his heart. Speaking such words could have people look at him with shock, surprise or any number of things. These are people Jing Yuan still cares about regardless of the differences between past & present even if it may be from sentimentality.
I’ve been meaning to write this headcanon in regard to Jing Yuan when it comes to the flashback that’s shown with him & Igor + the fall of the HCQ. It’s not including any other characters personal feelings but more so outlining Jing Yuan’s feelings & what he perceives as his own personal regrets ( or failings ).
A person is bound to have some regrets when they lived for 800+ years especially if it involves events or happenings during a younger age. Two of those very events would be during his encounter / friendship with Igor at the Wardance when he was just a lieutenant. The second would be the falling out of what happened with the High Cloud Quintet, adding into the current happenings of what they are now.
Jing Yuan was only that of a Lieutenant in both instances, a position that can offer some amount of power but not to a high extent. He was still young for a Xianzhou native which most people wouldn't hold against you, for being young as all people experience in their life. It's still something however that led to being a weight on his heart because despite his young age / lack of power, those were all people Jing Yuan still loved & cherished. To feel powerless to help the lives of those you care about, as if there is little you can do, can lead to regret & it's something that Jing Yuan does carry. It could be in the feeling of guilt ( not something he'd voice outwardly ) aside from just regret. The feeling of wanting to amend past actions, in his own mind, as a way to give back or make up for those failing. Feelings of 'what ifs' for past instances can only get a person so far & more then not just lead to a venturing down rabbit hole.
Some of the later choices made by Jing Yuan are shown to be along those lines since as General, he now has the ability to change things. Whether for the better or for the worse. He isn't one to just let old dogs lie especially if he can make a difference somehow.
( a collection of morally complex, emotionally tangled tropes where relationships clash with ethics, loyalty, or personal codes dialogue prompts. adjust phrasing as necessary.) feel free to make edits to better suit your muse, but please don’t edit or add on to the original post <3 if you like, please consider supporting me through tips
"I’d burn the world for you, but you’re asking me to burn the wrong one."
"Don’t mistake my love for agreement. I will not stand beside you in this."
"You’re still my heart, but right now, you are also my enemy."
"I swore to protect you, not to help you ruin yourself."
"You disgust me, but no one deserves what they’re doing to you."
"If anyone’s going to destroy you, it’s me. Not them."
"I’d sooner spit in your face than call you friend, but I will not watch them gut you."
"Don’t read too much into this... I’m saving you because their cause is worse than yours."
"We’ve been enemies for years, but today… we fight the same battle."
"Our morals are oceans apart, but even I can see they’re drowning you."
"The side I’ve chosen would spit on me for helping you. I’ll do it anyway."
"You are everything I oppose, and yet—if I let them take you, I’ll be no better than you are."
"I’d forgive you for anything, but not for this."
"I’m not leaving because I stopped loving you. I’m leaving because I still do."
"My heart says stay. My conscience says run."
"If you keep down this road, I will have to stop you, and I will."
"You’re the one I want beside me, not the one who drags me into darkness."
"I’ll stand with you through storms, but not if you’re the storm itself."
"I’m bound to you by love, but unbound by your choices."
"I wish I could close my eyes to this, but I see too much."
"I hate you for what you did, but not for what they’re about to do to you."
"I’d sooner turn my back than help you, but I won’t let them break you."
"I loathe your decisions, but I despise their cruelty even more."
"You’ve made me angry, but seeing you hurt makes my blood boil."
"I want to forgive you, but I must punish you."
"My love for you doesn’t exempt you from consequences."
"You’re my weakness and my reckoning."
"If I shield you, I betray everything I stand for."
"You’re the reason I fight and the reason I hesitate."
"You are my enemy, but I cannot fight the part of me that loves you."
"Every battle with you is a battle with myself."
"I hate that I love you more than I fear you."
"I love you enough to be your greatest obstacle."
"Sometimes the hardest love is the one that says no."
"I’m not your ally here. I’m the voice you need to hear, even if you hate me for it."
"If letting you fall means saving you, then I’ll catch you—but only after the fall."
“Hating you doesn’t mean I want you harmed.”
"I wish you were better, but I refuse to let them make you worse."
"I hate what you’ve become, but I hate the thought of losing you even more."
"Your choices break my heart, but their punishment will break you."
"I hate you fiercely, but I’d fight anyone who tries to break you."
