In this edition, I’d like to talk about a sticky subject and how it relates to sex, confidence, stress, and over all quality of life. Honesty.
Honesty is both the heartbeat and the heartbreaker. What I’ve learned personally is that my professional and personal life would not exist without it.
Honesty takes bravery. To be honest with yourself and to be honest with those who surround you and those close to you, is scary.
First, let’s talk about truly being honest with yourself. We all want to fantasize and believe we are someone else, someone more desirable, always right, and undisputedly perfect. Well, the truth is that none of us are those things, but equally by being ourselves we ARE everything we need to be. Wouldn’t it suck if you did everything in your power to be someone else that you thought someone else wanted… Only to find out that they really wanted YOU for everything that You ARE all along? We as humans do not exist as pieces to a monochrome wardrobe of society, solely for the purpose of matching each other. We are meant to shine brightly in our own way completely different than the one that stands to our right or left. Each his or her own entity. This is also the first step in a relationship with someone, you must be honest with yourself and know what you want, before you can be honest and truly want someone else.
Besides brain washing ourselves, we are also prone pretend to be someone else to avoid hurting someone we love. This is where the sex comes in. Take any infidelity, or “cheating” situation. What I see is that it is not necessary the act of “sex"that is the issue, it’s the betrayal of trust. It’s the Lack of Honesty, the sneaking around and lying that drives even the sanest significant other crazy. If you lay all your cards out for someone in the beginning, are honest, and unapologetic, so there is nothing to hide…You create a strong base layer that can stand up to any weather you both might face in the future. And besides, if someone can’t accept you for everything you are and everything that you love, than they are not right for you!
I’ve been with the same person for a long time. We decided in the beginning that we would be brutally honest about who we were, and what we wanted. We didn’t have to have everything all figured out, but Honesty has been the keystone of our relationship. It’s because of this rule that I know no matter what we face along the way or how much we fuck things up, we can’t fuck US up. It’s not easy, it’s taken us years to get truly comfortable with undiluted honesty. But I have to say, being free to talk about whatever’s on your mind, what you are into sexually, musically, dream-wise etc, with the person you love, it is worth it!
Overall, I’ve gotten more rewards from putting myself out there. This blog and my relationship with all of you for example: I decided a long time ago to be unapologetically myself, and give all of you access to my best and my worst. Because I know that there is only One me, and not everyone is gonna like it, but the people that do accept me for all of me, are the ones that are worth keeping. So, I thank you for everything you all are to me. And remind you to Be Brutal, Be You.