hello

𝑩𝑬𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑵𝑨 𝑹𝑰𝑷 𝑴𝒀 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑹𝑻 𝑶𝑼𝑻

[katemossrising]

❀❀❀

[growingupisbeyondus]

This literally killed me.

[vladimir-nabokov-official]

“I must have been twelve when forty-five years ago I read “Crime and Punishment” for the first time and thought it a wonderfully powerful and exciting book. I read it again at nineteen, during the awful years of civil war in Russia, and thought it long-winded, terribly sentimental, and badly written. I read it at twenty-eight when discussing Dostoevski in one of my own books. I read the thing again when preparing to speak about him in American universities. And only quite recently did I realize what is so wrong about the book. The flaw, the crack in it, which in my opinion causes the whole edifice to crumble ethically and esthetically may be found in part ten, chapter 4. It is the beginning of the redemption scene when Raskolnikov, the killer, discovers through the girl Sonya the New Testament. She has been reading to him about Jesus and the raising of Lazarus. So far so good. But then comes this singular sentence that for sheer stupidity has hardly the equal in world-famous literature: ‘The candle was flicking out, dimly lighting up in the poverty-stricken room the murderer and the harlot who had been reading together the eternal book.’ ‘The murder and the harlot’ and ‘the eternal book’—what a triangle. This is a crucial phrase, of a typical Dostoevskian rhetorical twist. Now what is so dreadfully wrong about it? Why is it so crude and so inartistic? I suggest that neither a true artist nor a true moralist—neither a good Christian nor a good philosopher—neither a poet nor a sociologist—should have placed side by side, in one breath, in one gust of false eloquence, a killer together with whom?—a poor streetwalker, bending their completely different heads over that holy book. The Christian God, as understood by those who believe in the Christian God, had pardoned the harlot nineteen centuries ago. The killer, on the other hand, must be first of all examined medically. The two are on completely different levels. The inhuman and idiotic crime of Raskolnikov cannot be even remotely compared to the [girl’s] plight […]. The murderer and the harlot reading the external book—what nonsense. There is no rhetorical link between a filthy murderer, and this unfortunate girl. There is only the conventional link of the Gothic novel and the sentimental novel. It is a shoddy literary trick, not a masterpiece of pathos and piety. Moreover, look at the absence of artistic balance. We have been shown Raskolnikov’s crime in all sordid detail and we also have been given half a dozen different explanations for his exploit. We have never been shown Sonya in the exercise of her trade. The situation is a glorified cliché. The harlot’s sin is taken for granted. Now I submit that the true artist is the person who never takes anything for granted.”

— Vladimir Nabokov, Lectures on Russian Literature (p. 110–3)

[solipseismic]

2021 poetry rec list

after the revelation that i am, in fact, a poetry person (wow!) i’ve gotten a few requests for favorite poetry recommendations so i decided to put it all in one post for 2021 :) separate section for joan tierney ( @/filmnoirsbian on here! )bc her poetry is just That Good

top seven:

beginners egyptian heiroglyphs is on tuesdays - @/plasmapop

dog bite - h r webster

dogfish - @/chipcookies

do you speak persian? - kaveh akbar

in the beginning god said light - mary szybist

portrait of the alcoholic stranded alone on a desert island - kaveh akbar

what the dragon said: a love story - catherynne m valente 

general:

anglerfish - @/serizaba

black hole wikipedia poem - @/headspace-hotel

for m - mikko harvey

heliocentric - keith s wilson

i’m not a religious person but - chen chen

i think love is something that happens to other people - michael gray

i was popular in certain circles - gabrielle calvocoressi

jessica gives me a chill pill - angie sijoun lou

meditations in an emergency - cameron awkward-rich

more dots - @/chickpeamcb

most wanted - mohja kahf

muttnik - @/fateology

night tennis - kimmy walters

one act play in which we float facedown in the center of a lake, a position known as the dead man’s float - dalton day

pigeon riding subway - @/kosotree

september is a weary month - yasmin belkhyr

the last scene in the movie - eleanor hsieh (suicide tw)

there’s a lot of good reasons to go out west - excerpt - s k osborn

the tenor of your yes - mary ruefle

the war of vaslav nijinsky - frank bidart

the wind - dafydd ap gwilym

the winter - dafydd ap gwilym

what do i know - noah eli gordon

your catfish friend - richard brautigan 

JOAN TIERNEY

a love letter from a vampire to the sun

art philosophy study group

conversation w/ a snared fox

gangrene

how to build a table (abuse + self-harm tw)

how to draw a circle 

interview w the machine woman

last thoughts of a bee drowning in honey

lift

love letters from various kitchens

no title

palpitation 

the color red is hereditary 

THE WATER DOESN’T MAKE YOU STRONGER / ALL IT DOES IS DROWN

trauma + the things we convince ourselves to survive 

why are you haunted? 

[cor-ardens-archive]

There’s a general interpretation that Catherine truly did betray “her own heart” when she married Linton, but this ignores the fact that she did not intend for marriage (a material necessity for a woman in her position) to come between her and Heathcliff. If Cathy betrayed her own heart, she did so unwittingly, in ignorance and naïveté, because she did not fully understand what marriage would entail — that her husband would possess her in all material ways, and force a separation between herself and her own soul.

To Cathy, there’s nothing more natural than being with Heathcliff, and this should have nothing to do with her marriage. When she says she cannot marry Heathcliff, she genuinely believes that, nonetheless, this shouldn’t be an obstacle to the continued union of their souls. She doesn’t understand that this is impossible in her society, because she and Heathcliff are not legitimate siblings, and their relationship cannot exist in such ambiguous, amoral conditions. For it to be recognized, they should be siblings or married lovers. It cannot simply exist outside of social categorization.

(This is why I believe they’re indeed half siblings. It is an ambiguous state for Heathcliff: Cathy’s brother but illegitimate; named after the dead legitimate brother who died in infancy; a ghost of sorts. His very existence disrupts everything, even the otherwise symmetrical genealogic tree!)

But at no point does Cathy choose to be without Heathcliff. She did not “betray her own heart” in that way. In her mind, she could belong with Heathcliff and still marry Linton. This is expressed in her dialogue with Nelly:

“[…] As soon as you become Mrs. Linton, [Heathcliff] loses friend, and love, and all! Have you considered how you’ll bear the separation, and how he’ll bear to be quite deserted in the world? Because, Miss Catherine—”

“He quite deserted! we separated!” she exclaimed, with an accent of indignation. “Who is to separate us, pray? They’ll meet the fate of Milo! Not as long as I live, Ellen—for no mortal creature. Every Linton on the face of the earth might melt into nothing, before I could consent to forsake Heathcliff. Oh, that’s not what I intend—that’s not what I mean! I shouldn’t be Mrs. Linton were such a price demanded! He’ll be as much to me as he has been all his lifetime. Edgar must shake off his antipathy, and tolerate him, at least. He will when he learns my true feelings towards him. Nelly, I see now, you think me a selfish wretch, but did it never strike you that if Heathcliff and I married, we should be beggars? whereas, if I marry Linton, I can aid Heathcliff to rise, and place him out of my brother’s power.”

Heathcliff, on the other hand, understands the impossibility of this. For him, Cathy’s marriage casts him out — a much more realistic notion than hers. Because of his perpetual status as an outsider, Heathcliff understands social norms much better than she does.

[youknow-who]

Genuinely admire Henry Winter for being able to write about murdering someone in his diary because I can't even write about what's making me sad.

[alovelylight]

why romance peaked w henry tilney

he tells catherine that he “considers a country-dance as an emblem of marriage” after asking her to dance with him. real subtle man

he understands muslins and helps his sister shop for her gowns. he is deliberately written to be courteous, kind, and affectionate in contrast to the brooding gothic heroes that stalk catherine’s imagination. she gets to see that the real thing is so much better.

the only austen love interest who knows how to flirt (and means it too): “I danced with a very agreeable young man, introduced by Mr. King; had a great deal of conversation with him—seems a most extraordinary genius—hope I may know more of him. That, madam, is what I wish you to say.”

he readily forgives catherine for missing their walk

the cutest fucking quote: “To be driven by him, next to being dancing with him, was certainly the greatest happiness in the world.” the fact that he cares about catherine’s boundaries and comfort throughout their courtship is so good, especially when compared to john thorpe.

he shares catherine’s love of gothic literature and sincerely admires and respects her for her kind of intellect, hormonal mess that she is: “The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.” yes, he teases her, but it is established that this is how he shows his fondness.

he describes the ideal sister-in-law (from eleanor’s pov) as “Open, candid, artless, guileless, with affections strong but simple, forming no pretensions, and knowing no disguise.” “Such a sister-in-law, Henry, I should delight in,” said Eleanor with a smile. i love that the text implies that he’s definitely rambled on and on about catherine to his sister.

after finding out that his crush thought his father has murdered his mother, he does not rebuke her at all. instead, he gently prods her to use common sense so she wouldn’t feel scared to be in his house, and then asks, “Dearest Miss Morland, what ideas have you been admitting?” DEAREST is a fond address. the more catherine unwittingly reveals herself to him, the more smitten he is. 

he tries to comfort catherine after she discovers that isabella broke off her engagement with james by saying that “to have so kind-hearted, so affectionate a sister must be a comfort to him under any distress.” what the fuck

he is willing to get disowned so he could marry her

[butterflypeaflowertea]

a compilation of my favorite pride & prejudice posts 😌

[and-love-shouldnt-burn]

being just like other girls is so fun. taylor swift and twilight and rom coms, "I didn't have it in myself to go with grace", little women and midsommar, crystals and plants and wandavision, "she would've made such a lovely bride what a shame she's fucked in the head", olivia rodrigo, florence pugh, tangled and howl's moving castle, "women have minds as well as just hearts, and they've got ambition and talent as well as just beauty", pride and prejudice, "if I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it", squishmallows, harry styles, mitski and phoebe bridgers and ukuleles and led lights, polaroids, makeup, planning outfits, "what is grief if not love persevering", pink, literally what's not to love

[endlessly-enamored]

Being the eldest daughter is just *fufill these outrageous academic expectation* *clean the house for us* *raise your siblings* *get yelled at for taking over parenting* *parents claim all your accomplishments as their own* *guilted for trying to be independent even though that’s what’s you’ve been praised for your entire life* *everyone angry with you for trying your best*

[thegodatyourdoor]

being the eldest daughter is like. i love my parents. who are these people in my house. i do not recognise the girl in the mirror. i should be more grateful. my mother gave up everything for me. i didn’t ask for that. i get along better with my father. i never want to be around a man ever again. i’m wonderful with children. i don’t want or deserve my own family. my mother is my best friend. my mother is someone i never knew. i want to be just like my mother. oh god i never want to turn into my mother. please love me. please leave me. let me be whole. 

[thedevilsfamiliar]

*coughs in eldest child*

[mmaryoliver]

Lyrics that make me an eldest daughter cry + mitski songs.

[id in alt]

[troublegoblin]

Growing up a woman really is just *make self smaller for other people* *learning how to cook and clean while your brothers played outside* *suffering silently* *wondering if your mother ever really liked you* *carrying floral pepper spray bottles like a weapon* *taking care of your mother from the age of 10* *inherent trauma of being a woman* *generational trauma* *helps pay the family bills by 17* *that one line from Class of 2013 by Mitski* *relating too closely to The Bell Jar* *needing to be useful to be loved* *codependency" and *living as everyone's therapist*, huh.

[buryme-makeoutcreek]

Thoughts on the relationship between oldest daughters and their mothers

Mitch Albom// Ladybird dir. Greta Gerwig// Maya Angelou, Mom & Me & Mom // Mermaids dir. Richard Benjamin // John Lennon, Mother// Sharp Objects// Audre Lorde // The Beatles, Julia // Succession // Amy Tan, Joy Luck Club // Mitski Class of 2013 // Mad Men // Jennifer’s Body dir. Karyn Kusama// Richard Siken, Détail of the Woods// Sylvia Plath // Mad Men

[seashellronan]

i want to go home. i will always want to go home. even when i am at home i want to go home. but i’m not really thinking of a place, it’s more that feeling of everything finally being over, of seeing the light in the windows of your house on a cold night, of being safe, the relief of leaving a party you’re not enjoying, like when you felt sick at school and they sent you home, or when you got upset at a sleepover and they called your parents. i want my mam to come get me. i want to go home.

[seashellronan]

elizabeth wurtzel, prozac nation // lorde, ribs // maggie stiefvater, the dream thieves // billie marten, red sea blue sea

[ryebreadgf]

karen russell, st. lucy’s home for girls raised by wolves

[maryolive]

i like to fork myself by daul kim // road music by richard siken // art by beth fuller // sarah addison allen // why be happy when you could be normal? by jeanette winterson // poetry by @jonismitchell

[butterflypeaflowertea]

downloading pdfs & epubs in a most wanton & lascivious manner