Forgiveness
My journey on self-searching has returned a verdict that I have to practice the art of forgiveness. This will be the only way I can truly heal from the suffering that I've internalized over the years. Everyone hurts each other at some point, some is intentional and other times it happens without malicious intent. I know I've been a horrible monster to people over the years. My best friend for 16 years taken it on the chin countless times, from our very first days together. I never feel like I've apologized enough for those early years.
I forgive the adults in my early years who used teasing and intimidation to an extreme. This always made me ill at ease and to over-think and search for a cruel motive underneath any interaction between us. I know now it wasn't intended, they just were not able to socially interact with children properly. Jokes are meant to be funny but not everyone is capable of being a punchline. I forgive the people who bullied me because of my hair, size and general awkwardness. I know now looking back that those bullies were most likely suffering from horrid family lives, so they targeted someone who was easily riled up. I was an easy victim given my dramatic reactions and as children that's what you look for in that situation.
I forgive myself for retreating inside my own mind and harboring resentment all these years. I will now use it to the best of my advantage and continue to try to reassure young women and men that our suffering is real but it's manageable and can be relieved. Shame and guilt from being ourselves can be eliminated from our lives.













