moon_stars @moonstar-9499 - Tumblr Blog

Ilya and Shane, but it’s just them seeing each other as a version of their husband no one else understands them seeing.

To Ilya, Shane is the funniest, sexiest, bitchiest and downright FREAKIEST person he knows. He tells everyone he knows this, yet for some reason no one seems to believe him. His husband is such an asshole, and Ilya loves him for it.

While to Shane, Ilya is his soft and most precious baby. A heart of gold and with feelings so wide and deep he is breathless at just how much he CARES. Sunshine itself. Shane laughs at how people describe his ‘scary, no-smiling Slavic nightmare of a husband.’ See Ilya! He DOES get sarcasm (he does not.)

katesgottareadthebooks

Those poor people who work with David. For years they have had to hear about the Canadian treasure that is Shane Hollander. “Yes I’m taking two weeks off in June. My son is in the Stanley cup finals”

“Yes, that is my son on that billboard, he’s got a new sponsorship”

“Yes, my son has started a new charity and is running hockey camps”

I know at least one of them was hoping they get a terrible in-law, but no it’s Ilya Rozanov. So now its

“Yes, my son and his husband were over for dinner, they wanted to talk to my wife about expanding their charity. You know the one they founded together”

“Yes, I’m taking two weeks off in June. My son and his husband are in the Stanley cup finals. Yes, again.”

“Yes, we’re so happy that NHL players are going back to the Olympics. We’re hoping both of our boys get to go.”

I think David pushes off retirement just so he can keep bragging.

vrabia

today i learned that the finnish word for ‘hazardous waste’ is ongelmajäte, which can also translate as ‘problematic garbage’ and my roommate and i immediately agreed this is a word that belongs on tumblr.

callmebliss

Your fave is ongelmajäte

you-had-me-at-e-flat-major

in german it’s Sondermüll which means special trash and that too belongs on tumblr

pyrebomb

One man’s ongelmajäte is another man’s sondermüll.

peckedpolaris

sirius lowkey has a shit memory

like imagine, its post prank, sirius-angst, he's miserable, his friends arent talking to him, regulus doesnt know whats happening and is like -39% skilled at comforting ppl, so he's just petting his head like sirius is a toy cat and regulus is the toddler that was gifted him

anyway, in his misery, sirius claims that he's always been an awful person

and regulus, is like, 'wait are you supposed to let ppl talk or tell them theyre wrong, why isnt there a guide on how to comfort ppl' in his head

so sirius just keeps on rambling and rambling, and then he's like 'im also a shit brother'

and regulus is like 'shit now i have to say something' but before he can open his mouth, sirius is recounting the time he was super evil to regulus

sirius: you were like 6 and you were having a birthday party and we were in the black manor and everyone was there, and everything was so pretty, and they got you a really nice cake, and it was big and pretty and perfect, but (becuz im secretly evil) i got jealous at the attention that you were getting so i pushed it and it fell and they had to get a second store-bought one and i messed up your clothes and you had to change into the back up robes and i dont even know why i ruined it all, but i did

regulus, still awkwardly petting him: okay that's not how any of that happened

sirius: u dont have to spare my feelings

regulus: i dont think ive ever done that. but no seriou--that's not what happened. its true there was a big cake, made specifically for me, but it was pink and girly and i hated it, and i sat under one of the tables and cried, and you found me and next thing i knew you'd pushed the cake onto the floor

sirius: i dont remember that

regulus: and sure i wouldnt have cared now. but back then? i didnt have the words for it, i just knew i hated it when anyone called me that name or treated me like i was a girl, and wasnt like you. and i hated the robes too, disgustingly girly as they were. you got them so dirty, adn the guests were just about coming in, and uncle alphard swooped in before maman could do anything and said he'd take care of it, and i got to wear robes that matched yours and eat a cake that wasnt girly. and it was honestly a really good birthday, and it was because of you

sirius:

sirius: oh

clickbeetle

shoutout to whoever stole my amazon package containing nothing but a single pair of shoelaces.

clickbeetle

dropofbittersea

https://archiveofourown.org/works/86538561/chapters/228982041

shane-bug

⭐️😽⭐️

lizzlesquirrlz

this is going up on tt tmr but y’all get it first cause i love u

ablazeds

i want to know how sweater weather sirius feels about heated rivalry

sincerelyemery

wolfstar’s proposal was a joint effort. remus was the one who got down on one knee with the ring to propose but blanked at what to say (poor boy had been practising his big speech for months, just to end up stuttering through it) so sirius just ends up throwing his arms around remus’ neck and tackling him onto the floor while saying “i will, i will” over and over

babybxrahae

Now that the show made Sveta and Ilya childhood best friends, I’ve had this headcanon that she has helped Ilya sneak old pictures and relics out before his father and brother get rid of them. Like imagine 12 yo Ilya grabbing as much of Irina’s smaller stuff, the least noticeable but still important things, and handing off to Svetlana after the funeral. Or her grabbing an old stuffie of his because she knows it’ll disappear permanently if she doesn’t. Or after Ilya’s fight with his brother, when his mind is still fogged with rage and he just wants out, she goes back to his room for the last of it. She doesn’t tell him, and as the years went by he kept forgetting. One day she tells Shane, who then begs her to bring them over. They spend an entire day going through everything while Ilya is on a brand trip Shane couldn’t attend. He comes home to pictures of him Irina on their walls and toys he hasn’t seen in decades.

equippedtolove

SOMEWHERE in the depths of shane's messages there is a groupchat called 'our overlord and majesty jane + her servants (the raiders)' where, a couple weeks after tunameltgate, (and ilya seemingly being possessed by a soviet war general during practice) cliff had personally taken it upon himself to have every single raiders player beg and plead jane to take ilya back, for fear of their lives. the chat periodically comes alive during progressions in their relationship ('can't believe roz is whipped enough to move to OTTAWA, man!') and you BETTER believe it explodes after the fanmail video.

urenbyneighbor

Sirius who never asks for food when he's hungry and gets embarassed when he's 'caught' making food for himself.

He especially gets hungry at night and struggles to fall asleep if he doesn't eat anything, so he fills cupboards with snacks he can eat then discard (hide) rapidly to fill his stomach. It makes him feel even worse and guiltier but he's just that hungry, so he'll swallow any junk food he can find.

Remus who just, slowly picks up on it. Gets up at two am with Sirius and realises his boyfriend looks very uncomfortable about it and has just been sipping on his glass of water for five minutes. So he asks if he's hungry and after a lot of hesitation Sirius says yeah.

And it's so casual, the way Remus simply offers to make him some pasta, that Sirius wants to cry. But he nods and that just becomes a thing. If they're sleeping late, Remus will make him a plate of something, no questions asked, no pressure. Sirius doesn't even have to eat it, it can go in the fridge for later.

Sometimes they cook together, often Remus tells him to just sit and look pretty, and that it's an essential part of his process.

And it's at two am, when Remus is stirring food, his sleeves rolled up and smiling sweetly like it's no bother. Because it's not, not for him. That Sirius knows he's never, ever leaving that man.

softwaring

lavenderprose

My absolute gospel truth and I'm sorry this is so sappy but--where I'm living, Ilya fully changes his name to Hollander when they get married, like just fully legally changes it. And despite the fact that he continues to use Rozanov professionally ("Just like J. Lo," Ilya says.) everyone who knows them personally obviously knows what Ilya's legal name is and also assume it's a way to kind of stick it to his shitheel father. To this end, and kind of as a joke at first, people start referring to their two-person unit as The Hollanders ("Okay, the Hollanders are in room 508" etc.) but it becomes steadily less and less a joke when neither Shane or Ilya really seems to think of it as one. Ilya especially seems to genuinely love it. He'll say shit like "Oh yes the Hollanders will be there" when asked if they're coming to a barbecue like they live in a postcard. He LOVES to give his name as Ilya Hollander and he LOVES to book reservations under 'Misters Hollander' and he LOVES to say the words 'Shane and Ilya Hollander' out loud with his mouth. I also think that for their last game together in the league Ilya and Shane wear jerseys that say S. Hollander 24 and I. Hollander 81 and it's like. An end of an era type thing. And they frame the jerseys.

spacegirlmood

remus is like that one teacher who’s kinda dorky but sweet, but he never talks about his personal life

then one day this super hot guy covered in piercings and tattoos shows up, drops off his lunch, calls him “love”, and gives him a kiss on the cheek. and all of remus’s students lose their mind