MTC

We mtc (managed to concive) after 1,5 years of ttc - thanks to clomid 😊. Our litlle one arrived on the 16th of May 2018. I'm german - excuse my spelling errors.

[morcellement]

Some basic informations about me:

- Born 1983 in Germany

- Mum of Little One (LO)/kiddo, working part time

- I‘m an MD - specialized in Gyn/OBG

From Feb22 - Feb23 my husband worked in Sothern Maryland -> we‘re back in Germany now.

[morcellement]

Listened to ‚Diary of a wimpy kid‘ with kiddo. He found some of the books at aftercare and got really into them even though at 8 he‘s a bit young (in my opinion). Not sure if he understands the irony in many of those stories 🤷‍♀️. But it is funny :).

[morcellement]

We finally have a (small and mobile) solar panel and battery for our allotment garden. I charged it yesterday at our balcony and brought it to the garden today. Now we can use the electric pump we have to water the garden 💦 🥳. As it’s getting warmer and dryer that’s a relief. I did a test watering session today. Everything is working well and I used ~10% of the battery to do it. It seems the plan (charging once a week) is working :). Now I just need to find a way to secure the unit while it charges (it takes 5-8h on a sunny day -> we‘re usually not that long in the garden).

Also the vines and the quince tree seem to have survived my harsh trimming :).

We‘ll do a scavenger hunt to the garden when kiddo has his birthday party. He turned 8 (!!!!) last weekend. We had fun with my parents and my sister + her family on the day.

The picture of him watering was with the little diesel generator we also have - which is loud and dirty. He loves the garden too. And it’s great we have a common ‚hobby‘ as well (I like soccer but I‘m not as mad about it as him and hubby; and I can’t play)

[morcellement]

Happy Mother’s to all my mutuals out there :).

[morcellement]

Kiddo is doing his puzzle from top to bottom today :). He’s not much into puzzles usually. So I was maybe a bit too excited when I saw it 😂.

[thatswhywelovegermany]

Der 8. Mai war ein Tag der Befreiung. Er hat uns alle befreit von dem menschenverachtenden System der nationalsozialistischen Gewaltherrschaft.

May 8th was a day of liberation. It freed us all from the inhuman system of National Socialist tyranny.

Richard von Weizsäcker (1920 – 2015), German politician, sixth president of the Federal Republic of Germany

Background: This statement was revolutionary at its time. Until the early 1980s, the (West) German society was ambivalent with regards to the end of World War II. Although it was generally acknowledged that it was the end of a tyrannic dictatorship that had committed unprecedented crimes against humanity, there was still a lingering feeling of defeat present in large parts of the (West) German population instead of gratefulness for the liberation (and the subsequent help from and reconciliation with the nations of the world). This started to change after Richard von Weizsäcker's speech of May 8, 1985, before the Federal Diet of the Federal Republic of Germany. It was a milestone in the West German Vergangenheitsbewältigung, the continually ongoing process of coming to terms with the atrocities of Nazi Germany.

[morcellement]

Needing some soul music today. Don’t know why but Laurie Berkner really does that for me. Unfortunately Kiddo is too grown-up and cool for this music.

[morcellement]

Hunter, Gather, Parent was really interesting. Of course some advice is hard to realize in the circumstances we live in. And some stuff is more for toddlers. But I found some overall concepts and some specific recommendations are really worth to try. As with many parenting books I think you could get the points across in half of the time (audiobook). But I try to pressure/control less while still expecting help/working as a team. It makes me nag less and kiddo in turn is whining less. That’s a big win.

[morcellement]

[beardedmrbean]

Germany's Buchenwald: Remembering Nazi atrocities

Buchenwald was one of the largest concentration camps on German soil. Eighty‑one years ago, it was liberated. The commemoration included mov

At Sunday's memorial service, actor and author Hape Kerkeling spoke about his grandfather, Hermann Kerkeling, a survivor of the Holocaust.

"He was not a man of many words, but a man of action. A carpenter from Recklinghausen who knew how to get things done," Kerkeling recalled. On the roll‑call square of the former Buchenwald concentration camp on the Ettersberg near Weimar, in the heart of Thuringia, he was speaking "not as a public figure, but as the grandson of a survivor."

Hape Kerkeling is widely known in Germany. At 61, he is a comedian, author, television host, and actor. His 2006 book "Ich bin dann mal weg" ("I'm Off Then: Losing and Finding Myself on the Camino de Santiago") recounts his journey along the Camino de Santiago to Santiago de Compostela. It has been translated into English, Spanish, Polish, Japanese and other languages.

Grandfather Hermann — a carpenter, a Catholic, and a communist — survived his time at the camp, where, by April 1945, around 56,000 prisoners had been killed or had died from torture, murder, exhaustion, or despair. As his grandson recounts, Hermann "had distributed leaflets against Adolf Hitler immediately after what the National Socialists referred to as their seizure of power in 1933." That cost him twelve years of his life.

Drawing on his own family's history, Kerkeling spoke of his grandfather's silence: "a leaden silence. That booming silence was like a glass wall surrounding his soul." He sounded out a warning against forgetting, against right‑wing populism. It sounded like a speech meant to endure, the voice of a grandson articulating grief for future generations.

Buchenwald: hell on earth

From 1937 to 1945, the Nazis imprisoned people in Buchenwald. These included political opponents, communists, homosexuals, foreign prisoners, Jews, Roma and Sinti, Jehovah's Witnesses, and clergy who had fallen out of favor. The Buchenwald system included the main camp on the Ettersberg and more than 50 smaller satellite camps mostly attached to war‑related production sites. More than 250,000 prisoners suffered there.

When the first US army tanks approached the camp on April 11, 1945, the prisoners — who had built up a well-coordinated resistance group — rose up and captured dozens of soldiers from the fleeing SS units. For this reason, the commemorations spoke of both "liberation and self‑liberation."

On the 81st anniversary of the liberation, two former inmates managed to attend: Alojzy Maciak (98) from Poland and Andrej Moiseenko (99) from Belarus. Elderly gentlemen, still wearing the caps from their time as prisoners. Several other survivors could not travel from Israel because flights had been suspended.

At the 70th anniversary of the liberation in 2015, around 80 survivors were still able to attend. In 2025, at the 80th anniversary, there were only 15. Now there were two, but they did not speak this time.

Holocaust remembrance in difficult times

This year's commemoration ceremony in Buchenwald was overshadowed in several ways. During his welcome speech, the memorial director Jens-Christian Wagner, described the current situation in bitter terms: "As ever fewer survivors of Nazi terror remain to defend themselves, memorial sites and the culture of remembrance are increasingly being misused as a stage for current political conflicts driven by particular agendas and attempts at self-promotion."

Wagner pointed out that right‑wing extremists are attacking the culture of remembrance and defaming it as a "cult of guilt." "Nevertheless — or perhaps precisely because of this," he said, "they received support from up to 40% of voters in Thuringia." Nowhere else in Germany is the far-right Alternative for Germany (AfD) as strong as it is in this region, where its regional chapter is one of those that have been classified as right‑wing extremist by Germany's domestic intelligence service.

But Wagner also stressed how profoundly the conflicts in the Middle East had cast a shadow on the commemoration. Some groups, he said, "tried to hijack this day for current political purposes." One organization called "Kufiyas in Buchenwald" had planned to hold a vigil in Buchenwald that Sunday for victims of genocide and fascism, with a particular focus on Palestine. Several days earlier, however, a court issued a ban on the event.

A substantial police presence

Yet fear of protests shaped the day. Around Weimar's train station, more than 15 police vans were lined up in the morning. Groups of officers in front of the station watched for possible counter‑demonstrators and checked who was boarding the shuttle buses to the memorial. Around the memorial itself, police vehicles appeared time and again.

Wagner, the memorial's director, therefore made an emphatic appeal "to everyone present ... not to disrupt our commemoration." Several hundred, perhaps even a thousand people were gathered around the lectern and the tent housing the official guests.

And yet, there were disruptions. Representing the federal government, Commissioner for Culture and the Media Wolfram Weimer (non‑partisan) had come to Buchenwald. His responsibilities include, among other things, supporting memorial sites dedicated to addressing the legacy of the Nazi dictatorship and the injustices committed under the Socialist Unity Party of Germany (SED), the former ruling party of East Germany.

Protests against government minister Weimer

The chairs of two associations representing relatives of former political prisoners of the camp had opposed Weimer's appearance. They argued that he had recently excluded three left‑wing bookshops from receiving awards in a competition, citing "findings relevant to the domestic intelligence service." Wagner, meanwhile, had spoken in favor of Weimer delivering his address.

As Wagner welcomed him to the event, there were more than isolated boos from the crowd. When Weimer stepped up to the lectern, chants of "Alerta antifascista" could be heard from a left-wing bloc over which flags of the "Association of Persecutees of the Nazi Regime" (VVN) were flying, along with occasional shouts of "Fascist."

Weimer spoke for around twelve minutes. Early on, he requested that the "dignity of the place" be respected. He addressed the two survivors and lamented what he called the "intolerable development" of increasing disruptions and threats at memorial sites. The Buchenwald Memorial, he said, had to spend more than 10% of its budget on security and protective measures.

For almost the entire duration of his speech, hecklers shouted or sang lines from a solidarity song — "Vorwärts und nicht vergessen" ("Forward, and don't forget") — or from a song composed inside the camp in 1938: "O Buchenwald, ich kann dich nicht vergessen, weil du mein Schicksal bist," ("O Buchenwald, I cannot forget you, because you are my fate").

Later, Jens-Christian Wagner expressed his anger to journalists. It was "shabby" and "unbearable," he said, especially because the hecklers were loudest while Weimer was addressing the survivors. He added that it was legitimate for a federal government representative to speak on such an occasion. Wagner called it a "misguided political signal" to disrupt a representative of the democratic government.

Minister Weimer closed by handing over to Hape Kerkeling, whom he thanked as one of the country's most respected cultural figures. 

Soon after came a minute of silence. Then followed the traditional remembrance of the "Buchenwald Oath" — the survivors' vow to "destroy fascism at its roots" and to build "a new world of peace and freedom."

Fifty wreaths were placed in rows at the historic site by the culture minister and the victims' associations. The official commemoration had come to an end. Individuals and small groups lingered on the grounds, laying roses here and there, pausing to remember specific groups of victims.

"3:15 p.m." reads the old clock in the tower above the camp's entrance building. Its hands always point to 3:15. At that hour, on April 11, 1945, the camp was liberated. That was when the hell ended. And yet, in some way, it never does.

[bauerntanz]

Die Rede von Hape #Kerkeling heute zum 81. Jahrestag der Befreiung des KZ #Buchenwald

81. Jahrestag der Befreiung des KZ Buchenwald

[morcellement]

Wortlaut der kompletten Rede:

Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren, geschätzte Überlebende,

wenn ich heute durch das Tor von Buchenwald gehe, dann tue ich das nicht als öffentliche Person, sondern als Enkel eines Überlebenden. Ich gehe den Weg, den mein Großvater, Hermann Kerkeling, ab dem 2. Juli 1942 gehen musste. Er war kein Mann der großen Worte, aber ein Mann der Tat. Ein Zimmermann aus Recklinghausen, der zupacken konnte, der Strukturen schuf, der mit seinen Händen arbeitete. Er war ein Mensch, der schlichtweg nicht bereit war, wegzusehen, als die Dunkelheit über Deutschland hereinbrach.

Doch am 2. Juli 1942 wurde er zur Nummer 6177. Ein sogenannter „politischer Häftling“. In den Augen des faschistischen Apparats war er ein „Hochverräter“. Hier wurde er gefoltert, gedemütigt und wurde Zeuge unzähliger Morde. Dass er diesen Wahnsinn überlebt hat, ist ein Wunder.

Für mich steht sein „Hochverrat“ heute als das höchste Zeugnis von Treue zur Menschlichkeit.

Mein Opa Hermann hatte unmittelbar nach der Machtergreifung im Jahre 1933 Flugblätter gegen Hitler verteilt. Er hat nicht geschossen, er hat nicht sabotiert – er hat lediglich die Wahrheit geschrieben, gedruckt und verteilt. Das kostete ihn zwölf Jahre seines Lebens. Zwölf Jahre! Denken Sie kurz darüber nach: Was haben Sie in den letzten zwölf Jahren getan? Sie haben Kinder großgezogen, Karrieren verfolgt, geliebt, gelebt. Hermann saß in Haft, zunächst in der sogenannten „Hölle von Recklinghausen“, in diversen Zuchthäusern und schließlich hier, auf dem Ettersberg.

Mein Großvater musste hier in der Effektenkammer seine Zwangsarbeit verrichten. Im Maschinenraum der Entmenschlichung. Er musste den Raub an seinen Mitmenschen verwalten. Uhr, Ehering, Brille, Brosche, Gebiss – alles wurde registriert, als handele es sich um bloße Lagerware.

Hier liegt eine der bittersten historischen Lehren: Die Barbarei beginnt nicht mit dem ersten Schuss; sie beginnt dort, wo Menschen nur noch Nummern in einer Statistik sind, wo das Mitgefühl der Buchhaltung weicht und das Gewissen der sinnentleerten Gehorsamspflicht.

Als mein Großvater hier heute vor 81 Jahren, 1945, befreit wurde, war er 44 Jahre alt. Körperlich ein gebrochener Mann, geplagt von Krankheiten, die ihn nie wieder verlassen sollten; von einer tiefen Müdigkeit, die keine Nachtruhe der Welt heilen konnte. Eine echte Wiedergutmachung hat er nie erhalten; man hat ihn nach dem Krieg mit ein paar Mark abgespeist. Und das Bitterste: Die Aufhebung seines Unrechtsurteils wegen „Hochverrats“ hat es zu seinen Lebzeiten nie gegeben. In den Augen der Bürokratie blieb der Verfolgte ein Vorbestrafter.

Aber das Schwerste für uns als Familie war sein bleiernes Schweigen. Dieses dröhnende Schweigen war wie eine Mauer aus Glas, die seine Seele umgab. Wir – seine Familie – konnten ihn sehen, aber wir konnten ihn nur selten erreichen. Vielleicht wollte er uns schützen? Er wollte nicht, dass die grausame Kälte und der blinde Hass dieses Ortes in unsere warme Wohnstube in Recklinghausen kriecht.

Viele der Überlebenden der Nazi-Diktatur haben für sich den Weg des Schweigens gewählt. Das mag uns Erben eine Ahnung vom Horror des Durchlebten geben. Es war und ist unbeschreiblich und unsagbar.

Wir, die Bürger der Bundesrepublik Deutschland, tragen keine Schuld an den Taten von damals. Aber wir tragen die Verantwortung für die Konsequenzen dieser Taten im Hier und Jetzt.

So etwas wie eine „Gnade der späten Geburt“ gibt es nicht, es gibt nur die Pflicht der späten Erkenntnis. Wer heute behauptet, die Geschichte des Faschismus in Deutschland sei ein abgeschlossenes Kapitel, der hat nicht verstanden, dass die bösen Geister von damals nicht in den Ruinen von Buchenwald geblieben sind. Sie warten darauf, in verunglimpfender Sprache, bösartiger Hetze, im dumpfen Ressentiment und in der alltäglichen Gleichgültigkeit wieder geweckt zu werden.

Wer die Erinnerung an die Opfer als Belastung empfindet, vergisst, dass diese Erinnerung das einzige ist, was uns vor einer Zukunft als Täter schützt.

Immer lauter und dreister werden die Stimmen, die nach einem Ende der Erinnerungskultur rufen! Ein Schlussstrich unter die Erinnerung wäre der Schlussstrich unter unsere Demokratie.

„Die Würde des Menschen ist unantastbar.“ Artikel 1 des Grundgesetzes ist die direkte, in Stein gemeißelte Antwort auf Buchenwald. Er ist die Antwort auf die Effektenkammer, auf die Selektion, auf die Vernichtung von Menschen.

Am Tor von Buchenwald steht dieser furchtbare Satz: „Jedem das Seine“. Die Nazis meinten damit: Den Häftlingen den Tod, uns die Macht. Aber wir, die Nachfahren, wir deuten das heute um. „Jedem das Seine“ bedeutet für uns: Jedem Menschen seine unveräußerliche Würde. Jedem Menschen seine Freiheit. Jedem Menschen sein Recht, so zu sein, wie er ist – egal, woher er kommt, woran er glaubt oder wen er liebt.

Ich habe lange gebraucht, um über das Schicksal von Opa Hermann zu sprechen. Aber jetzt ist die Zeit gekommen. Wir, die Nachfahren der Überlebenden, müssen die Wächter der Erinnerung sein – nicht aus Bitterkeit, sondern aus tiefer Liebe zur Freiheit.

Demokratie ist kein Geschenk, das man einmal erhält und dann besitzt; sie ist ein Versprechen, das jede Generation aufs Neue gegen die Bequemlichkeit des Wegsehens verteidigen muss.

Opa Hermann hat geschwiegen, um seine Familie zu bewahren. Ich spreche heute, um ihn und alle Opfer, die hier litten und starben, zu ehren. Und ich bitte Sie alle: Sprechen auch Sie. Lassen Sie nicht zu, dass das Schweigen wieder die Oberhand gewinnt. Denn die Demokratie lebt nicht vom Wegsehen, sondern vom mutigen Hinsehen. Sorgen wir gemeinsam dafür, dass das „Nie wieder“ kein Lippenbekenntnis bleibt, sondern unser täglicher Kompass ist.

[morcellement]

Got myself an Easter present :). Was hard but fun!

The two weeks of Easter break flew by. I had one week off from work which I absolutely needed. But I‘m still happy to settle back into our routines. I want to do a 8km run on may 2nd. But my right knee gave me trouble the last weeks. It’s better know and I hope I can train properly (my usual distance is 5,5k).

[morcellement]

Spoiler Alert!

Don’t look if you plan to do one of the magic puzzles!

While working on the ‚original‘ puzzle I noticed you could switch parts. But I didn’t realize, you could arrange it in a way to open up an open space in the middle for another small puzzle. Kiddo wasn’t too interested in helping with the big puzzle but he loved to help me with the small finish :)

[morcellement]

Got myself an Easter present :). Was hard but fun!

The two weeks of Easter break flew by. I had one week off from work which I absolutely needed. But I‘m still happy to settle back into our routines. I want to do a 8km run on may 2nd. But my right knee gave me trouble the last weeks. It’s better know and I hope I can train properly (my usual distance is 5,5k).

[morcellement]

[morcellement]

It‘s more difficult to find time to listen to audiobooks with my shorter commute. But it seems I can make it work.

[morcellement]

It‘s a school break (one week) for Karneval/Fasching/Fasenacht…depends where you live in Germany how it’s called. It’s the weeks before lent starts and you are supposed to dress up and party :). Did that last weekend with the kiddo and now we‘re visiting my parents. He’s doing a skiing course ⛷️and enjoys spending time with his cousins. I‘m happy I don’t have to cook or entertain him much :). Tomorrow we‘ll probably go skiing without him having a course. Means I‘ll ski too (I‘m not great but I learned it as a kid and it’s like riding a bike…still works even though I don’t have a lot of practice). Over all live is well :).

[illdealwithitlaterprobably]

Is it bedtime yet 😴 🥱