MRDVTN

aspie kinky queer slytherin

[mordantdevotion]

[mordantdevotion]

[mordantdevotion]

[oceanodiario]

Luna postcard ♥

[artbypierre]

Confidence is a reflection of how we view ourselves in our own minds

[mordantdevotion]

Whose bodies are portrayed as sexy in the media?

Fkn tired of sexuality almost always being conveyed through thin white female-coded bodies in the media.

Bodies looking thin, white, cis female. Like only those bodies can be desirable? And it’s like, if you’re fat, at least you got to be white and cis. If you’re a person of colour, at least you got to be thin and cis. If you’re transgendered, at least you got to be thin an white. Otherwise you deviate too far from the norm of being thin, white, cis female.

I would like more diversity, in the mainstream media, in the portrayal of sexy bodies. More fat bodies, masculine bodies, trans bodies, intersex bodies, disabled bodies, bodies of colour. All bodies can be sexy, not just thin, white, cis female bodies, right?

[mordantdevotion]

fuck the oppressors.

why is fuck negative though?

better yet, let’s crush the oppressors.

[mordantdevotion]

I’m furious

[mordantdevotion]

how can my medicine make sex feel this good

[mordantdevotion]

wish i could write something good now. should i write sex

[mordantdevotion]

Why did I give you anything? How could you trick me? You would never never have gotten this close to me. If I had not been so trusting, unassuming, forgiving. Had I believed in myself. Instead of believing you. My mistake.

It's just that I was broken. In parts. But at least I was. Anything. I thought growing up would be different than this. Becoming more. Adding to yourself. Not disintegrating disappearing. Turning away from the world. Imploding rumbling shit erupting. Destroying systematically everything that hurt me, i.e. in the process, destroying me. Ignorantly. I gained nothing. All left a thread of life. One could weave, and I wove. I reached out my hand only to him, and then he let go. Leaving me in emptiness sucking me in. Couldn't be even angry. So I revolved. Please don't let me shut. I don't want to shut. Exploding crashing breaking fucking. Bringing chaos into order. Turning my days inside out. I was hollow and open. Pushing my limits. Until I had enough.

Then I trusted you. To find out, you did this to me all along. And you knew.

[mordantdevotion]

[mordantdevotion]

words, words

You might have found yourself being in intimate relationships with people you don't love or care enough for. This might have made you respond to their feelings by being mean, cold, judging. Especially when they were open and vulnerable. Of course they were vulnerable. You are, too. Intimacy comes with vulnerability. It's only a problem when you get hurt. It's only a problem when you get used, or abused. I would call that an unhealthy form of intimacy.

Emotions come with vulnerability. Emotions. Needs. Intimacy. Emotions. You see? You might have found yourself unable to respect or care for emotional people, because you can't face your own emotions. Your fears. Your vulnerability. Your interpersonal needs.

Emotions are associated with femininity. We live in a sexist patriarchy, where we value masculine coded things as "good", and feminine coded things - like being emotional - as "bad". This is very relevant. You are a part of this world. Like everybody else, you have been brainwashed.

[mordantdevotion]

falling out of love: good riddance

[mordantdevotion]

In the day-time I'm ok.

At night I'm paralysed, crying, wishing everything to end.

[mordantdevotion]

I had another sex dream. Again, in which somebody gave me oral sex. I've told the person I had this dream, no idea how they'll react. Didn't tell any details. Nor that it was incredible! It wassss. I wonder if they are as skilled with their mouth in reality as my mind believes them to be. They made me come in seconds. I don't think I've had a dream orgasm before. Why two sex dreams in three nights? Unusual.

[mordantdevotion]

The previous night I dreamt of a friend. In the dream we had sex, which we don't anymore. He went down on me, which he's never done since he's not into oral sex. I guess my mind associates freely. Then I dreamt about my collective, I felt left out. This night I dreamt of my ex, I sat at a table with two others and she came there and we were very intimate like no conflict ever happened and I thought "wait, I forgot we broke up". Then I dreamt of my partner, the details make me realise they've come real close to me and I'm trusting them and letting them in.