Letters2U

A writing blog for hopeless romantics, wandering souls, and lost minds.

[moreletters2u]

Tell me

What exactly

Am I meant to do

When I'm left

Completely exhausted

Surrounded by everyone

I have ever loved

And instead of running to him

Like I should

All I want

Is to run into

Your arms

Your lips

Even when I know

Better.

[moreletters2u]

I just want to stop feeling this way

I want to be heard

I want to know how to speak

I want to know how to feel

I don't understand how I feel.

[moreletters2u]

1:07:50

You'll know when you find it.

[moreletters2u]

Inside of my mind, I am still learning how to unbandage my damaged parts. Truthfully, the fear of any more pain is insufferable. I am still learning how to kill the thoughts that keep me from bringing you closer. I still fear how you might lose all of your warmth in the cold pools of my soul. Loving you is as easy as breathing, but I have been starved of air for too long.

There is still a piece of my soul that aches to know peace. You cling to me like damp clothes with the hope that you can still protect me from the world outside of my skin. Truthfully, I worry that unbandaging myself to you, completely bare and scarred, will frighten you, and I fear that you may never come back home.

[moreletters2u]

When I met you

I felt the sun

For the first time

In so many years

And it reminded me of being young

Before the pain of falling in love

Before the pain of growing up

And it reminded me of getting old

After I learned how to breathe

After I learned how to grow

And it reminded me

That the hole

Inside

Will never be whole

But it's a perfect spot

For you to rest

[moreletters2u]

Oh how sick I feel

Every time I listen

And I hear the pain of moving on

And the sound of your tears

On the paper where I write

And why is saying goodbye,

forever.

So hard?

[moreletters2u]

Time and time again

I would do it

Time and time again

If I had known that you

Were God's plan for me all along

And I love you

To the point

Of religion

[moreletters2u]

Breathe

Being finally happy

After years of weight

After years of pain

And years of working

Just to gasp once

In awhile

Being finally happy

Doesn’t mean I was never drowning

It means I learned

To breathe

Despite the water

Drowning me

[moreletters2u]

9:25 PM

I look back and forth. TV, computer, phone. I don’t know what to do with my hands. My feet keep bouncing. My brain is buzzing. I want to be calm. I want to collect myself. I want to hold my thoughts. There is too much noise but not enough distraction. I can’t think, but I’m thinking too much. What did I do? What did I say? How did I mess up *this time*? I think I want to be alone. But I’m more lonely than ever. I’m sad, and I think of that place. That one place I want to be. I want to watch the sunset. I want to throw rocks and scream into the emptiness. I want to cry, if only to feel something at all. I want to climb in. I want to sink.

They say the water is quick.

9:26 PM. I grab my keys. The water is quick. It sounds like peace.

[moreletters2u]

From My Perspective...

What do you see

From your point of view?

Is it someone insecure

Scared

Sad

Lonely

Is it the shell

Of the person you once loved

What do you see

From your point of view?

Do you see

Someone you want

Need

Love?

Someone easy?

But

From my perspective

You have no time

You are empty for me

You look around like you would rather be anywhere

But in bed next to me.

And when I ask for your perspective

You are quiet.

And when I ask you to explain

You can’t.

And you love me only for the things I once was

And not for the things I am now.

Who is the person you love.

Because from my perspective

I ache only

For you.

[moreletters2u]

“The General Sense of Loss and Longing”

Another part in the series of books I will never write.

[moreletters2u]

If my love

Is so intense

But so fiercely conflicting

Is is simply better

To love nothing at all?

[apophis-ignotus]

I chuckled at myself making this.

[justscribbledwords]

we were a heady combination of i want you and i don’t want you, i want you to want me but i don’t want to want you, i need you yet i’ll never want you. we watched each other suffer, thinking suffering is the only way we could ever be anything to each other, annual birthday wishes and biannual ‘i need you’s’ and triannual ‘save my contact because i want to see your face’. maybe we were a seasonal thing where we loved to make each other miserable for days and left each other alone for months.

[moreletters2u]

Unsent

Why do I keep writing letters

That you’ll never read

In the way that I want you to.

Why do you have to be

So many hours of train hopping away?

Why do you still haunt me

When you’re right there in my phone

Just an unsent message away?

[moreletters2u]

Lights

So here we sit

Music playing soft through the shitty stereo

Some stupid little song that just feels right

And we look out the window at the city lights

And it’s hard feeling so lonely

When there’s thousands of people passing you

Every day.

And here we sit

Half-asleep on the bed

And I think of moving on the floor

To give you room

But instead you move

And I realize I’m sad

Because in the morning I won’t wake up

To the smell of you tangled in all my sheets

Instead I’ll wake up to an already empty room

And a note on the stand telling me you’ll see me

Later.

[moreletters2u]

Hands pt. 2

but now we’re here

and our hands don’t have to be so far

I don’t have to reach across oceans to feel you anymore

I just need to reach across the sheets.

--L2U, I love you