"i cant believe i ate the whole thing"

Billy. cis he/him

[planeyboys]

if your flight ever gets delayed cause I;m out here grabbin em all hohohohohoho puttin em in my pockets hahahaha

[rhythm-of-lesbianism]

i hate the part of depression that’s like all the things that bring me joy are empty and i can’t do anything. like come on bitch i know you love book can you just be happy about book :/

[imeverywoman420]

Having an abusive parent is kinda funny in retrospect like mommy why do you have beef with me im 4 i love you

[teaboot]

Haters (my dad) can't stand to see a bad bitch (me, nine years old) winning ("drawing too loud")

[gildedproblems]

How do you draw too loud?

[teaboot]

Well you see the thing is that child abuse is inherently irrational

[therisingking]

Girl when I tell you my life flashed before my eyes

[saturniandragon]

[lingonberry24]

[foolishmortal]

what if you told someone you liked their shoelaces while you were on your knees blowing them in a bathroom stall and they told you that they stole them from the president

[therisingking]

You bitches really won’t let me catch a fucking break huh

[yumivik]

I just wanted to make one more... I had to

[spacemancharisma]

I’m literally on thr verge of tears

[jotx]

my job in the comune will be to fuck your mom

[anteultimate]

mine is to make love to yours. step your game up.

[jotx]

i just got promoted to giving your father earthshattering prostate orgasms

[anteultimate]

my father is a libertarian so nice try but he would never be “pro state”

[honeypunks]

[skopostheorie]

This is probably my favourite tweet ever hello we are your bank

[ratgill]

Like I give a Fuck

[ratgill]

[catasters]

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

I love you PBS I love you NPR I love you public libraries I love you wikipedia I love you project gutenberg I love you librivox I love you libby I love you hoopla I love you openlibrary I love you internet archive I love you resources that make information free and accessible to the public

[lady-raziel]

Take note— NOW is the time to look into these amazing resources and make what you can available to yourself OFFLINE. I’ve been downloading as many important books as I can from project Gutenberg, and I’ve downloaded ALL of Wikipedia offline (yes, you can do that!!) through Kiwix. I’ve also been using Kiwix’s other wiki libraries to download essential databases and pdfs such as info on emergency medicine, govt info on medications and disaster preparedness that was archived before the new administration, and anything else that is critical to know and have available outside of the internet. Information IS power— don’t let anyone censor crucial info you have a right to know!!

[lindleland]

when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. when all you have is a paintbrush, everything looks like a canvas. when all you have is a cock, everything looks like the exhaust pipe of a 2014 honda civic. so yes, to answer your question, i am stuck. please call the emergency services

[enki2]

[traaansfem]

Happy "the husband lesbian is a better husband than I was" anniversary!

[thunderon]

first base is martyrdom. second base is raising the other from the dead. third base is eye contact

[thunderon]

just when i thought nobody could tag this in a way that would surprise me

[c-53]

I think my favorite bit i do with customers is when white women are like ‘i dont know what to getttttt’ and i hit them with the ‘you should be bad~ 😈’

[c-53]

Saying ‘you should be bad!!’ In like Gay Voice to a white woman at starbucks has like the same psychological impact as going like ‘who’s a good boy?’ To a dog. It makes them so excited in a really endearing way.

[fortidogi]

[islandmusic]

whatever. go my scarab