Mort

just a door knocker stuck in a castle.

[mortthedoorknocker]

Can anyone tell me what the fuck is going on up above me? K thanks. -Mort.

[this-book-girl]

So after reading Empire of Storms who do you hate more Maeve or Elena? Because I could make arguments for both of them

[mortthedoorknocker]

THAT Elena was a real piece of work.

In all fairness, I never liked her.

-Mort.

[mortthedoorknocker]

Mort: so *cracks up* I told her NOTHING!

Celaena: I'm still here.

Mort: I know. I'm just trying to get you to leave now.

[nestasbitch-blog]

What did Celaena feel when the bronze knocker spoke to her?

She was MORTified.

[thestarseternal]

…

[mortthedoorknocker]

10/10 what happened.

[mortthedoorknocker]

The majority of Mort's diary entries end with:

What. An. Idiot.

[mortthedoorknocker]

Mort's Diary Entries On The King

Diary entry #113: today I saw the King. He found a Wyrd key. He kinda looks responsible.

Diary entry #205: what a fucking twat. What the fuck is the King doing?!

Diary entry #206: if I wasn't a door knocker so help me gods....

[mortthedoorknocker]

A Day in the Life of Mort & Elena

Mort singing: I wanna be where the people are...

Mort: *snorts* who am I kidding no I don't!

[mortthedoorknocker]

Damn this infernal girl.

Mort when Celaena kept making so much noise.

[mortthedoorknocker]

Mort muttering: sure, King Brannon, make me into an immortal, magical door knocker. Great idea King Brannon. Now I have to babysit dead people and endure an insufferable girl. Great way to spend eternity.

[mortthedoorknocker]

Mort Diaries: Entry #204

Just met the sassiest assassin today.

She asked me dumb questions.

So I was sarcastic as fuck.

(I think her name was Cierra Sardines?)