cinderella by day sinderella by night
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if i look back, i am lost
Cosmic Funnies

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The Stonewall Inn
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oozey mess

romaâ
occasionally subtle
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bliss lane
â

#extradirty
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@mosaic-coffee
cinderella by day sinderella by night
#the toilet goblin
reblog Toilet Goblin for good toilet luck
Gay person: is a piece of shit
Every straight person, sighing in relief: finally! A chance to be violently homophobic without repercussions!!!
oat appreciation hours
A meteor has landed on Earth. It has been contained.
Status:
adorable
Thor, directed by Kenneth Branagh
Ryan Reynolds as Detective Pikachu
its fake water season lads
forbidden water time
visual definition of âaudacityâ
Okay, so funny story.
Several years ago I volunteered at an aquarium. What most people donât know is that for most of the rare and unique specimens, the aquarium usually has a second one down in the wet lab, so that the animals can get switched out if they are stressed or sick or just want a break from being on display.
My job was to clean the lobster tanks down in the wet lab. So I donât know if you know much about lobsters, but they can be quite aggressive and will kill (and eat) each other. They will, however, donât mind sharing a large tank if they are separated by dividers, or if their claws are clamped shut with rubber bands.
So all morning I am grabbing lobsters, banding them, putting them in coolers, and scrubbing tanks, and throughout this whole time I am being watched.
In a tank near the entrance way is a massive lobsterâweâre talking over four feet long and nearly twenty pounds. It was his turn to get some rest while his âtwinâ (who is actually a good foot shorter than he is) was on display in the tanks upstairs in the aquarium. This guy is so big he has his own tank, which was actually a modified plastic horse trough with salt water circulation through it. He was happy as a clam (er, lobster) in there and the aquarium has learned over the years that he likes to be the center of attention, so his tank is right by the entrance way so he can keep his eyes on us.
His favorite game is to lunge and snap his claws at anyone who gets close to him. His claws are bigger than oven mitts, and his crusher claw has definitely seen some action because it is dented and pitted like a well-worn suit of armor. Since heâs alone in his tank, thereâs no need to band his claws, which he loves to wave and snap in the most ferocious way.
However, as vicious and mean as he is, his claws are too heavy for him to lift above the surface of the water.
Talk about audacityâpitiful audacity! Imagine being glared at by a gigantic lobster, one who would be a king out in the ocean, one who could easily remove your hand from your wrist, one who likes to lunge and snap at anything that gets within three feet of his tank, but the poor thing canât raise his claws out of the water!
holy shit reblogging for awesome aquarium knowledge
Me: I need a library card, but I just moved so I donât have an ID with my address or any mail with it.
Librarian: -slides me a blank library postcard- Write your address on this like it would be mailed to you.
Me: Sure?
Librarian: -takes it back- Great! Now we have mail with your address on it!
Me: âŠdoes it really work that way?
Librarian: the rules donât say it DOESNâT work that way. Hereâs your new library card!
Librarians are the most dangerous magic users because they can aquire infinite knowlege
âThere actually isnât a rule that says I canât cast this spell. I checked.â
âWhich book?â
âA L L O F T H E M.â
ITS A QUARTER AFTER 1 IM A LITTLE DRUNK AND I NEED YOU NOW
SAID I WOULDNâT CALL BUT IâVE LOST ALL CONTROL AND I NEED YOU NOWÂ