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@mossbolle
gro’d up
My wonderful spouse drew a scene from my latest HxH fic chapter as a surprise gift.
I've been unwell about this all day.
Intersections
Chapter 3: Year 3 | Read on Ao3 | 13.3k words
Summary: Once a year after their separation, Killua and Gon reunite. Things feel different between the boys, far from irreparable, but the foundation of their relationship has tilted, and with one of them on the run and the other without nen, balance is hard to reach. They have both transformed under the intense pressures of the past, and while it might take them a bit to realign, that does not mean they will not try—although with bumps on the way. This story is about teens wrestling with their true feelings, friendships old and new, and all the awkward, goofy, angsty and warm-hearted moments that come with them.
——
From Kite’s living room, Gon waited for a knock at the door. He had arrived two days prior, visiting on an extended weekend from school, and Shoot, Knuckle, Palm and Ikalgo were current guests as well. Before the evening ended, Morel was supposed to show up with Meleoron, and any time now, two others would be making their appearance. Despite the tremendous anticipation building inside of him, Gon was absorbed in the chatter shared amongst the group, one ear pointed towards the entrance of the house.
Kite had sent her team of Amateur Hunters off on their final test before she allowed them to pursue the Hunter Exam. For months now, they had been tracking a particularly elusive creature that had been seen yet not captured, given only scant clues by Kite to determine what species it is. Gon’s pestering did little to convince Kite to reveal any of their hints, yet regardless, he offered his guesses.
He wondered aloud, “Is the creature able to escape traps? Maybe it has a flexible skeleton?”
“Gon, leave it,” Kite insisted, folding her arms in front of her.
“Interesting theory. Almost seems like that could be a magical beast,” Knuckle mentioned, rubbing his chin.
Palm added facetiously, “If that’s the case, the answer could be right in front of them: any one of us.” She tilted her head towards Kite and Ikalgo.
“See, now you’ve got everyone interested, too,” accused Kite.
“Sorry,” Gon responded, sticking out the tip of his tongue.
“When you’re ready, I can give you your own assignment,” Kite explained, irritation seeping into her tone, “This is their hunt, none of you are allowed to interfere.”
Gon could not comprehend how Kite still believed in him after these past few years. Her team of amateur hunters consisted of six people, and she was offering to send Gon on a solo trip, not that he was not intrigued by the prospect. He was aware how futile it was comparing himself to other Professional Hunters in his present state, but he and Kite had both expended their lives in the Mitene Union, and only Kite had regained their Nen since. Nevertheless, from their first meeting, Kite’s support of Gon never wavered.
Like an enduring current lifting and directing him, she was a model for the kind of Hunter that Gon would like to become eventually. Although the guilt from Gon’s inability to protect Kite still gnawed at him, its teeth had dulled, and not once had he detected any pity from her. She trained with him, and recently, invited him to tag along on minor missions, such as when together they liberated exotic animals being tested on in a lab.
Since losing his nen, Gon had caught glimpses of the life of a Hunter through stories and the handful of jobs in which he had participated, all the while, yearning to immerse himself completely in it once more. He had managed to compress six years of schooling into less than four, and a single semester separated him from fully immersing in the peril and wonder of the rest of the world. Too often, he felt like time had stalled on his home island, and he was his 12 year old self, still trying to capture the Master of the Swamp; just waiting and waiting for the moment to strike. If his situation were different, Gon would accept Kite’s proposal without hesitation, but ideally, he would not be alone.
His pocket buzzed with a notification on his phone. He snatched it out of his shorts and upon seeing the letter ‘K’ at the beginning of the sender, he shot up from his seat with an announcement.
“They’re here!”
He rushed to the door and flung it open, immediately spotting Killua and Alluka walking towards the house from meters away and waving frantically. He could barely contain his excitement, bouncing in place before he sprang towards them.
“Hey!” He called out before crashing into Killua, encircling him tightly within his arms. His chin slotted perfectly into the dip of his shoulder and Killua’s feathery hair tickled his ear. Warm waves rippled over his body, and as he breathed in, the world narrowed to their touch.
Unraveling his arms, he then turned to Alluka, scooping her up in a hug while she playfully screamed and giggled. Gon set her down and took a step back as if to get a better view of his friends. It had been another year since their last encounter, and a tender pain accompanied each of their meetings, like a fractured bone growing back into place. Their lengthy separations ached, but Gon knew the passing time would result in bringing them closer together, and simply getting to lay eyes on him cured any absence. His azure eyes shone like precious gemstones, his hair longer than when they were kids, his chest and arms rigid and defined.
“It’s really great to see you,” Gon said earnestly, looking between the siblings.
“It's great to see you too! It’s been so long!” Alluka cheered, “I can tell Big Brother missed you a lot.”
“Alluka!” Killua called, a dusting of pink appearing on his cheeks, “She has travel-induced delirium. Come on, time to go in.” He grabbed her hand and led her through the open door where everyone else waited inside. The siblings cycled through the group of people, Kite, Palm, Knuckle and Shoot, exchanging greetings, Killua raising his arm when he encountered Ikalgo.
“Ikalgo, great news, congrats man!” He announced, giving the octopus a high five and clasping their appendages together, both grinning widely.
Killua was referring to the intention of their gathering this weekend, to celebrate a recent success in the ongoing campaign for Chimera Ant rights. Only a handful of people knew that the human-animal hybrid creatures were Chimera Ants, with the general populace believing they were a newly discovered type of magical beast, if they knew about them at all. There were only a few ants who chose to leave the Mitene Union, declining refuge in the countries adjacent to East Gorteau either because they had no memory of their lives before their rebirth, or they merely desired a fresh start. For their protection, those who passed a rigorous examination of loyalties all resided near Swardani City, supported in part by the Hunter Association. Gon was not aware of what happened to the others.
Regardless, the state of living for those who successfully fled the Union was not perfect, and sometimes the Association’s authority could not prevent illegal boarding or working conditions, restricted by local and national law. The Association itself, coupled with nonprofits in the city, assisted with shelter through vouchers or work exchanges, and many of the ants opted for under-the-table employment in order to supplement their livelihoods, as complaints about meager stipends, low quality housing and unsafe labor practices were prevalent. Some Ants had already been jailed for participating in underground or black market activities, while others were jailed on behalf of their employers for unauthorized work.
Both examples of crimes created a negative public perception of the supposed magical beasts, despite their inability to legally obtain income. Over the years, Knuckle, Shoot, Ikalgo, and to a lesser extent, Morel and Palm, had been lobbying politicians and other interest groups for the rights of magical beasts, in order for the ants to be able to seek education and employment, sign a lease for an apartment or house and own a bank account. The reason Gon and his friends came together today was to commemorate how a candidate running for mayoral election in Swardani City included those basic rights in their campaign. The exceptions were Kite and Palm—after they proved their identities to the Association, they were able to retain their Hunter status and enjoy the freedoms of their position.
“You two hungry from traveling?” Kite wondered, “Koala should have some food ready for us.”
For the past couple hours, Gon could smell various ingredients and spices wafting from the kitchen. Between offering and refilling drinks for the group, Koala was hard at work preparing multiple appetizers on top of a separate meal to feed all ten of the planned guests.
“Oh yeah,” Killua confirmed. At his reply, Kite beckoned everyone further into their home.
“Our master must be arriving late, it seems,” Shoot observed as they shuffled towards the dining room.
Killua wondered, “Is Knov coming?”
“No,” Palm answered, lifting a scaled hand under her chin. “He has his own way of supporting us… from a distance.”
After suffering from Pouf’s malevolent En during the extermination mission on East Gorteau, Knov remained wary of the Chimera Ants, and after witnessing him deteriorate after the contact, Gon could understand his position. That meant Palm was no longer his student, and since, she had been under the tutelage of a Hunter by the name of Roslo Cider, an esteemed fighter known for her steel composure and charisma.
“Oh, wow. Thank you, Koala!” Alluka said, scanning the spread of hors d'oeuvres.
“You don’t need to thank him,” Kite acknowledged. “This is his duty.”
“Well, can I thank him for making it tasty?”
Kite stated plainly, popping a savory tart into her mouth, “That’s part of his duty, too.”
“Okay, well—” Alluka touched her bottom lip with her finger. “Can I touch his ears?”
Koala spoke up, “I’m not too fond of…”
Kite’s eyes widened, a palpable aura spreading over the room. She glared at him sinisterly from the edge of her vision, like she would strike if he answered wrong.
His gaze flicked to the floor and back up. “Yes, yes you may.”
Giggling, Alluka pranced over to Koala and petted the large fuzzy discs atop his head. He stood motionless, his hands linked behind his back as if performing his professional obligation. Gon remained uncertain of his opinion of Koala—he saw part of himself in the small pink man, as his current position was a result of his own sins, forever toiling to repent. He could sympathize to an extent, given the circumstances of Koala’s rebirth as an ant loyal to a bloodthirsty king, but Gon never thought to interfere with Kite’s treatment of him. After all, he squandered his own second attempt at life, arguably becoming more wicked than his first. Perhaps he served as a reminder for Gon to not make the same mistakes, and for that, he could be grateful.
They all chatted over the snacks, the existing guests sharing pieces of their latest hunts while Killua detailed how he was thwarting his family’s attempts to recapture he and Alluka. Gon listened intently as they reviewed their strategies and commented on what they could have improved, asking for clarification when he lacked understanding. They discussed current events of the world and the Hunter Association, and had questions to spare for Gon and Alluka about their education and future plans.
“I love being with my Big Brother, so much, but I can’t hold on to him forever. Whenever you guys talk about your missions and fights, it makes my head spin,” Alluka explained, chuckling uncomfortably, but she brightened up, saying, “And he loves that stuff!”
“Nowhere near as much as I love you,” Killua said, draping his arm over her shoulders and pulling her into his side.
“I know.” She tilted her head under his chin. “You’re still going to visit me all the time, even if you’re out hunting!”
“I sure will.” He affirmed, petting the back of her head.
“But he also says I’m good at taking care of people, so I dunno. I don’t want to be a doctor because that sounds really hard, but something with medicine, maybe.”
Gon could detect the rehearsed part of her answer—outside of he, Kurapika and Leorio, no one else who was not a Zoldyck knew about Nanika and her healing ability. Although she was freed from the clutches of her family, a part of her would always be locked away, shrouded in secret.
“You’ve been talking with Dr. Paladiknight, getting some ideas,” Killua mentioned.
“Doctor wh—” Gon started, “Oh! Leorio!” Killua snickered at him, calling him ‘dummy,’ to which Gon showed him his tongue.
Knuckle asked, “Is that the guy who punched your dad, Gon?”
“Hah… Yeah,” Gon confirmed, rubbing his neck.
“We‘re incapable of being civilized,” said Shoot, referring to Hunters at large.
“He would’ve had my vote,” Ikalgo added.
“I’m just glad someone got it on video,” Killua commented.
“And what about you, Gon,” inquired Palm, changing the subject, “What will you do after school?”
“What, you’re too good to talk about his old man getting socked?” Teased Killua.
“At this point, it’s old news,” she remarked, waving an arm. “I’m more interested in what Gon has planned next. And besides, we all have the video saved on our phones.”
Shoot’s eyes darted back and forth, and surreptitiously leaning towards her, he whispered, “Can you send that to me?” She nodded.
Gon groaned in discomfort. He did not hate Ging like many of the other Hunters did, but he could not blame them. To most people, abandoning your infant son and making him find you when he became of age seems in bad taste, but his absence gave Gon some of the best adventures and friends he will ever have. Never did he expect or even want Ging to ask for forgiveness, he appreciated the interactions and advice Ging provided, and the journey he left Gon to pursue.
“Yeah, do you have any ideas?” Alluka wondered.
“Well,” Gon uttered, “Nothing definite. I officially graduate in December, and then I’m going to look for a way to get my Nen back, and see where that takes me.”
“Alright!” Ikalgo cheered with a hop.
“Glad to hear it,” Palm stated, joining her hands together.
“I can think of a few instances where your tenacity could have helped on our missions,” shared Shoot, “I hope you can join us soon.”
“Thanks, guys,” Gon said, a slight blush forming on his cheeks, “That means a lot.”
Knuckle slammed his fist into his palm. “I’ve been waiting to spar with you again! Why don’t you let one of us open your nodes for ya?”
“Nope,” Kite interjected, crossing her arms, “I already tried offering. Kid’s too stubborn.”
“I got myself into this mess,” Gon expressed, feeling compelled to clarify his reasoning, "I need to get myself out.”
His friends looked at him sympathetically, some with a flicker of sadness on their faces. It would be easier for him if they just blamed him like he blamed himself. His weakness was the product of his compulsive need to be stronger, because he had convinced himself his strength was connected to his worth. Yet he was too reckless, his rage eclipsing all reason, and now he had to endure the bitter taste of being the target of his friends’ pity; while in the time since he lost his Nen, they pursued hunts, sharpening their skills, and the gap between them continued to widen.
“Let me know if I can be of any help,” Palm proposed.
“My offer’s always standing,” Kite mentioned.
Knuckle and Shoot concurred as well and Gon’s heart ached in a different spot. Despite his weakness, his friends were with him now, and regardless of his Hunter status, he was still Gon Freecss.
Another knock sounded at the door, the last two guests of the evening. Kite told everyone not to move because she would bring them into the dining room, and Gon requested to go with her. Morel and Meleoron stood at the entrance of the house, Morel’s pipe wrapped and slung over his shoulder and Meleoron’s hoodie pulled tight over his head.
“Hey!” Gon welcomed, “Glad you made it!”
They all exchanged greetings and Kite led them inside, immediately calling Koala to store Morel’s pipe.
“Careful with that!” Morel said, relinquishing his weapon to Koala. Turning to Kite, he asked, “What’s in store for us tonight?”
“Oh, nothing special,” they replied, putting the backside of one wrist on their hip. “Good food, good drinks, good company. Spin got me to buy a karaoke machine for the house, so that's an option.”
“Haha, count me in!” He agreed, “Now where can I find that drink?”
Kite directed them to the rest of the guests, and Morel explained their delay.
“He went the complete wrong way! I had to track him down to bring him here.”
“I don’t know how to use this thing!” Meleoron griped, holding his phone in his four-fingered hand.
“It’s not the phone’s fault you can’t tell the difference between Drive and Lane.”
They entered the dining room, everyone projecting their welcomes practically in unison. They split, both finding places on opposite sides of the table, slotting themselves into the various conversations around the room. Eventually, Gon heard Killua ask Ikalgo about their strategy when it came to lobbying for rights for magical beasts.
“The three of us are unstoppable! Knuckle and I butter them up,” he explained with a devious grin, rubbing two tentacles together, “and after they hear Shoot’s testimony, they can't resist!”
“Hell yeah, Shoot!” Killua expressed, raising his arm and gesturing to him across the room. “What’s your angle?”
“Well,” Shoot brought his closed hand up to his mouth as if contemplating, “It depends on the circumstance.”
“That's one way to shut me out,” Killua grumbled, creasing his lip into his cheek.
Shoot replied, lids shut with a pleasant grin, “Years ago, it was you and Gon who showed me not to avoid confrontation and to trust myself, even when my adversary seems unbeatable.”
Killua rolled his eyes, yet turned away bashfully. “Yeah, whatever.”
Chuckling, Shoot explained, “The message varies, but it's all about making them realize everyone is deserving of respect, no matter who or what they are.”
“It took a while for us to gain any traction, but a win is a win!” Ikalgo hailed, lifting two of his appendages.
“Morel said it's ‘cause people thought you were a puppet at first,” Knuckle mentioned.
“Are you on our side or not?!” He shouted back, prompting Killua to holler with laughter and Gon to look away, as to not get involved in the altercation. “I can’t wait to be able to live on my own! You snore! And sometimes I have to clean up after your dogs!” The octopus-man accused, pointing a tentacle towards Knuckle.
While the two bickered, Alluka’s expression furrowed, as if friction were rising within her. “Why do they have to try so hard just to be treated the same as everyone else?” She asked.
“When people encounter change or something they don't understand, they tend to fear it. And fear has a knack for replacing a person’s humanity,” Morel explained.
Crossing her arms, Palm commented, “It seems us Hunters are always running towards fear and change, though.”
“Well that's why all us weirdos gotta stick together!” Morel announced, clapping Palm and Gon’s backs with his open hands. They emitted a light grunt and then cracked smiles at each other, like they both considered Morel some ridiculous yet beloved relative.
“But they're so cool! They can do things no one else can! Like that time Ikalgo squished himself real small,” she demonstrated, closing her palms one over the other, “to grab my phone that fell under a train seat!”
“He did the same when a kid slipped into a sewer drain,” Gon added, “But a lot of times, people cling to the bad. We’re like animals in that way, avoiding any chance of danger helps us survive.”
The observation seemed to resonate with Alluka, as Gon noticed her look towards her feet. Killua shared a sympathetic glance with her, as if ready to comfort her when she spoke next.
“Yeah…” she responded, “It’s still not fair, though. They’re not all that different.”
“And that’s why Alluka should be president,” Killua pitched before crossing his arms definitively, “Actually, no. World Leader.”
Gon peeked at him out of the corner of his vision, repeating, “World Leader…”
Killua met his eye, and immediately, Gon knew he understood his intent. Over their time together, they had developed an innate language of glances, their definitions often mischievous. In unison, the two of them crouched on either side of Alluka, each grabbing one of her legs and lifting her onto their shoulders. She squealed with joy, her legs dangling down the front of the boys as they paraded her around the room side by side, announcing the presence of their new Leader to everyone.
“Stop fighting!” She commanded Knuckle and Ikalgo, stunning them into silence.
“Hand me that cup!” She called towards Palm, adding in a whisper, “Please.”
“Hey guys, karaoke’s all set up,” Kite called from the room over.
“Sing for me!” Alluka demanded, raising both of her arms in the air like a movie villain.
Killua teased, “She’s mad with power!”
“We gotta take her down!” added Gon.
They both romped towards the living room, and with flawless synchronization, Gon passed Alluka to Killua and he softly flopped her onto a couch. The furniture had been pushed up against the walls to make more space for the singers, and Kite was inputting the last settings with a remote when the three of them entered.
“Alright, who's first?” Kite asked, the remainder of guests shuffling into the room.
Once she could stop laughing, Alluka replied, “I want to go first, but I don’t have to.” She propped herself up by her elbows on the couch. “What do you want to sing, Gon?”
“Oh, don't worry about me, I’ll go later,” he replied.
Alluka sat up. “Well, what do you want to sing later?”
“Whatever, it doesn’t matter. You want to pick something for me?”
“Gon, don’t tell me,” Killua started, sounding almost like he was holding in a sneeze, “Can you not name a single song?”
Gon grimaced towards the floor, his face heating rapidly. Killua had cornered him, he truly could not identify the title of a song that was not a lullaby Aunt Mito used to sing him or ‘Happy Birthday.’
“I could recognize something if you played it…” Gon justified, which made Killua laugh even harder.
“You don't listen to music?” Alluka questioned innocently, providing a bit of relief for Gon.
“Aunt Mito has some records she plays,” Gon answered, pressing his hand into the back of his neck, “And often, there’s musicians who stop by the island, but other than that… not really, I guess.”
“Gon's preferred genre is animal noises…” said Killua.
“Yeah! You can always tell the health and quality of a forest by—” he began before understanding that Killua was baiting him once more with his inference. “Yes, Killua, I only listen to animal sounds,” he grumbled.
“Jungle boy,” Killua taunted, lightly pushing his shoulder. Gon pouted at him, and as if retreating, he directed his attention to another corner of the room.
“I’ll go first,” declared Kuckle, pushing up his sleeves as he walked towards the television.
Some of the group chuckled at how he appeared as if he were walking into a schoolyard brawl. He snatched the microphone from Kite and requested a song he claimed was popular, but Gon had never heard of it. He would have described it as upbeat rock, not very memorable.
“This guy made better music in his previous band,” Morel commented, “Why not play something by Crimson Cages?”
“It’s going to be hard to sing along to a three minute guitar solo,” Killua muttered.
“Three minute guitar solo…” Alluka reiterated. “Can I hear that?”
Morel let out a bark of laughter. “At least there’s one Zoldyck with good taste!”
They made a plan to have a listening party for Crimson Cages after karaoke, and Alluka went up next to sing. She got the group to chant certain parts of her song with her while she danced and hopped along to all of the words, and Killua proclaimed her the winner of karaoke. Palm went next, singing a love song in an unexpectedly lovely and raspy voice, followed by Shoot, whose song had a long and slow build up, but as soon as he opened his mouth, the entire room went stiff with shock. Once he got to the chorus, he was belting into the microphone, eyes closed, whipping his head back and forth, biting his lip and bouncing his leg at pauses between lyrics.
“Geez, I guess he really has found his voice,” Killua commented towards Knuckle before noticing the man’s face drenched with tears. He blinked in succession, grumbling, “I forgot how weird you are.”
When the song finished, everyone sat staring forward with their mouths hanging open, a stark silence descending like all the air was sucked out of the room. Shoot only gently coughed and thanked the audience before sitting back down. Ikalgo mustered up the courage to go next, supported by Kite offering to do a duet with him, followed by Alluka again who dragged Killua up with her to sing together. Gon found himself blushing slightly at Killua’s deep, smooth voice, his confidence peeking out as the song progressed. He would catch glimpses of Killua’s eyes and smile as he faced Alluka during later verses, and each time, would feel his heart rise, blocking his throat.
When it was Gon’s turn, he flipped through lists spanning different genres of hits, rock, pop and country, until everyone in the room heckled him to finally pick something. Nothing he had seen was familiar to him, and he did not want to stumble through a song he had never heard. He tapped the remote to his chin, and then an idea came to him.
“Does this thing have sea shanties?”
Kite chortled. “I’ve never looked, try entering that in the search bar.”
Gon found a title he recognized, one he knew well enough to face away from the screen while he sang and directed the group in simple choreography of stomping and clapping. Afterwards, he even got to poke fun at Killua for participating and seemingly enjoying it. Lastly, it was Morel’s turn, who performed a rugged classic rock tune, and Meleoron opted to abstain from singing. They cycled through another round of songs, and when they were finished, they all stood to reassemble the room. Gon bent down to lift the sectional sofa and return it to its proper location.
“You’re still pretty strong, Gon,” Knuckle commented, “But I think it goes this way.” He lifted the couch in its entirety, rotated it about an inch to the left, and set it back down.
“No, Gon had it right the first time,” Kite mentioned, flicking her wrist up and down, pointing to the floor.
Knuckle crossed his arms while Gon nudged the sofa back into place. He sensed Knuckle’s ego was disturbed, like he was prodding into a snake’s burrow, but he could not resist continuing until he lashed out. Gon went for the long coffee table and lifted it vertically with one arm, setting it down gently in front of the sofa. He then picked up the recliner chair on which Meleoron was sitting, barely reacting as Gon transported him across the room, while Knuckle grabbed the side tables, one in each hand, and upon replacing them, the room was back in order.
“Have you trained today?” Knuckle directed at Gon when they were finished.
“This morning, yeah. Haven't done my night exercises, though,” said Gon, leveling his elbows to his chest and twisting his trunk.
“How about pushups, right here,” Knuckle challenged, spreading his feet apart and pointing at the floor.
“Just tell me how many,” Gon replied, cracking his knuckles, projecting his eagerness.
The suspense was broken by Kite yelling, “Take it outside!”
“Okay fine. Outside then,” Knuckle complied, heading towards the back door, Gon in tow.
Gon could hear others trailing behind, with Killua commenting, “I gotta see this,” along with the soft pops of Ikalgo’s tentacles moving across the wood floor.
They all exited the house, and Gon stood across from Knuckle in the yard, fists clenched, ready for anything. It was a familiar sensation, preparing to take on Knuckle, yet without Nen, this would be a test of raw strength and skill, not the application of their abilities.
“1,000 pushups! Right now!” Knuckle declared, but before Gon could lower himself to the ground, Killua objected.
“I’m not standing here for the rest of the night while you two do pushups!”
“If we do one per second, it’ll only be just shy of 17 minutes!” Knuckle insisted.
Gon’s brain clogged up, misfiring numerous times as he attempted to do the calculation himself. Instead he came up with a compromise.
“Why not 100 now, and after they go in, we can do the whole challenge.”
“Deal,” Knuckle agreed, then pointed towards their audience of two. “Give us a countdown!”
“Uhh!” Ikalgo stuttered.
Killua shouted, pumping his arm with each word, “Three, two, one!”
Once the last syllable left his mouth, Gon and Knuckle fell to the grass, loudly counting each repetition as they pumped their arms under them. In less than two minutes, they called 100 and both shot up in the same instant. Panting, Gon’s gaze drilled into Knuckle’s and Killua and Ikalgo called a tie. Gon huffed a laugh as if he expected the result.
“Too easy,” he said, and thrusting a finger towards Knuckle, he added, “Vertical pushups! 50!”
“75!” Knuckle demanded.
“You’re on!”
They inverted themselves, palms on the ground and feet in the air, and with another countdown, resumed their competition. This round was followed by sprints, jumps, and then the two of them punching each other as hard as they could and measuring how far back the recipient of the blow slid. Killua and Ikalgo made spirited commentary and took diligent score, and Gon was especially conscious of his performance because of whose eyes were on him. It was probably a coincidence, but every time he peeked towards Killua, he was always looking back.
Knuckle and Gon’s wins and losses stayed comparable, repeatedly climbing over and slipping under each other, and Knuckle had a novel idea for the last and final match to determine an official winner.
“Target practice,” he declared, clapping his hands together. “But with more rules!”
Knuckle explained the point scale of this tie breaker challenge: the harder they made the shot, the more they could earn. Difficulty could be increased by where they chose to place the target, what they hit it with and how far away they stood from it. Additionally, if they included an element of danger in their successful attempt, they would be ranked higher. Gon thoroughly considered these parameters, designating a single requirement in order to participate.
“I agree to these terms, on one condition,” Gon said, lifting a finger up in front of him. He extended his arm, directing it towards the white-haired boy. “I need Killua to hold the target for me.”
“Well…” uttered Knuckle.
“It has to be Killua!” Gon asserted. He would have no chance without him; he was only at his best alongside Killua.
“Okay, fine—if that's the only way we can end this. And if we go at the same time, we can eliminate any performance order bias.” Resolve rushing through his veins, Gon only heard his approval before he detailed more instructions, “Pick your target and projectile and get set up!”
“Osu!” Gon obliged, then ran towards the house to grab his items.
“I’m struggling to remember when I agreed to this…” Was Killua’s feedback when Gon presented to him an apple, his fishing rod and a knife.
“Because I'm going to win this, and the only way I can is with you.”
“Is this really that important?”
Gon bored his eyes into Killua’s like a caged beast waiting for release. No matter how trivial it was to anyone else, the victory was necessary. This was just a competition between two friends, but every chance he got, Gon needed to prove to himself, not anyone else, that he was still capable against an accomplished opponent. Killua puffed out a breath and closed his eyes, seemingly understanding the weight of Gon’s fervor.
“Fine.”
“Alright!” Gon cheered.
Killua stepped forward, their height difference becoming more apparent, and scolded over him, “If you kill me, I’m gonna smack you!”
“I won’t! I have the best focus because it’s you,” he replied with unwavering seriousness. Killua squared his shoulders, his brow creased with determination as if he too internalized Gon’s confidence.
He was outwardly restrained, but Gon could sense his vigor, the trust they had forged, shattered and rebuilt, palpable between them. Within this grassy plot, this silly little game, was their past, present and future, where they still relied on each other, but their holds were looser and less harmful, leaving fewer gashes and bruises when they were close. He would never knowingly hurt Killua again, and he wanted to show Killua that no part of him was expendable, above or beneath his skin. Gon could still be reckless and impulsive, but was becoming more aware of Killua’s limits—and when he may want a small push.
“Fine, I’ll hold it,” they heard Ikalgo relent to Knuckle nearby, “Only because my limbs regenerate if you cut them off!”
The pair snickered to each other and then went into their respective positions, Killua balanced the apple atop his head and Gon trotted back about a dozen meters. He affixed a knife to the end of his fishing line, checked the security of the knot, and nodded at Killua. Knuckle and Ikalgo were in their places, which they confirmed with a thumbs up, and Knuckle signaled to begin the countdown.
“One,” said Gon.
“Two,” said Knuckle.
“Three!” They both shouted, launching their shots into the air.
Inside, Knuckle and Gon touted their feats of strength and agility to most of the group, hard rock music trailing into the room from the other side of the house. Ikalgo joined in at some parts, waving a bandaged tentacle shorter than the rest.
——
Gon sat with Ikalgo at the dining room table after breakfast, Koala promptly taking up their dishes when finished. With his uninjured tentacle, Ikalgo was gradually scrolling through a social media page on his phone dedicated to his campaigning, a grid of squares each indicating a different video or picture for their cause. In the image thumbnails, Gon could discern a few Ants he had not seen before, including a fox-man, a turtle-man and a bear-woman, among others. Involuntarily, he moved his face closer and closer to the screen until his nose was almost touching it, springing back when Ikalgo proposed showing him a video.
“We don’t have a whole lot to show right now, and I have a couple in the queue that I'm editing, but here’s one with the mayoral candidate,” he said before pressing inside of a square.
It was a video of the candidate with the Ants, speaking on the benefits of integrating them into regular society. He covered points about additional labor supply, less strain on public resources and other economic jargon that Gon could not fully comprehend, but most critically, he addressed the importance of supporting the dignity and rights of these sapient beings. Footage was played of the Ants reading, cooking, or together at a restaurant or park, seemingly living regularly alongside humans. Some scenes included the prospective mayor with them, such as to demonstrate that they posed no threat to the average citizen.
“This is awesome, Ikalgo!” Gon lauded once the video ended.
“Thanks, man,” he said, rubbing the side of his head. “It doesn’t have a whole lot of likes compared to anything I post with Palm in it… But anyways! It was your support of us that really got our movement off the ground!” He claimed, lightly jabbing Gon’s shoulder.
“I might have helped influence the Hunter Association, but you guys did all of this yourselves,” Gon insisted.
“We had to start somewhere!”
Gon grinned wide, asking, “What are you coming out with next?”
“I’m glad you asked!” Ikalgo said, pointing an appendage into the air. “I was up all night planning for this new series! It’s like a ‘Day in the Life’ type of thing where we show that Ants, er, magical beasts do the same things humans do,” he explained, bringing his arms together and slowly separating them like opening curtains.
“Nice!” Gon practically stood up in excitement. “Maybe you could include things that bother both of us too, like losing a sock or forgetting someone’s name.”
“Way ahead of you!” Ikalgo exclaimed, pulling a small notebook out of his sweatshirt pocket. For a time, they discussed various ideas, Ikalgo eagerly jotting down notes and reading out potential lines for a video script. His notes accumulated over a couple pages, and he recited lines multiple times to test how they sounded.
“Okay!” He exclaimed, slamming his pen down. “Let's do this!” He jumped to the ground from his seat, shoving his phone into Gon’s hands and heading towards the living room.
“Yeah!” Gon stood, his chair scooting back behind him, but his enthusiasm quickly drained once he glanced at the phone screen. “Uh, how do I use this?”
Ikalgo snatched the phone back from him and set up the camera, directing him how to hold the object and which button to press to start recording. He scurried to the other end of the room, standing upright with his feet shoulder-width apart. Puffing out his chest as if he were trying to intimidate the camera, he clenched the ends of his tentacles and set his lips with a nod.
“Alright, go!” Ikalgo directed, extending an arm in front of him.
“Got it!” Gon peered at the device in his hand, framing Ikalgo within the screen. He pushed the red record button, saw the video timer ticking up seconds, yet the display showed no movement, only the still figure of Ikalgo. He shook the phone once like it might unstick the image, then looked above the screen, the scene in front of him duplicating the one on the glass in his hands.
Ikalgo was petrified, his eyes bulging wide on his red face and his mouth lopsided like he was frozen mid-sentence.
“I—Ikalgo?” Gon stammered concernedly. He turned to scowl at Killua who was slumped low on the couch, laughing uproariously.
“I’ll talk to him,” Shoot said from behind Gon, plucking the phone out of his grasp and walking over to the octopus-man. Gon watched him place a consoling hand on Ikalgo’s shoulder, Ikalgo finally blinking and his limbs releasing from their stasis. Gon figured he was usually the one holding the camera for their videos.
Suddenly, across the room, he heard an exclamation from Alluka and strolled over to her. She was sitting between Palm and Killua, who had since quieted.
“Palm…!” Alluka said through her fingertips covering her mouth.
Palm seemed nervous, attempting to divert Alluka’s curiosity, “It’s no big deal, very casual, barely worth talking about,”
Gon and Killua glanced at each other, and Alluka quietly screeched, “She said she’s seeing someone!” Gon’s brow lifted and he sat down in front of the three, as if they were discussing a covert assignment.
“Who knows where it will go. It’s only been a few dates,” disclosed Palm, clearly wanting to drop the subject.
“Good for you, Palm,” said Gon, smiling, attempting to provide closure.
“Thank you,” she responded, her eyes closing and opening directly on him. "And what about you and the girl at home?”
Gon’s nerves seized at her comment. He did not have enough of an opportunity to explain before Killua spoke up.
“Huh? Who?” He interrogated, bending towards Gon.
Gon’s ears burned from his reaction, and he cupped the back of his head. “I mentioned to you that I spent some time with a girl on the island,” he said, prompting Alluka to gasp.
“Those were dates? Like, real dates?” Killua asked.
With a mischievous grin, Palm observed, “Killua, you seem to be pretty invested in Gon’s love life.”
Killua straightened up as if correcting himself. He grumbled something inaudible towards no one in particular.
“Aunt Mito encouraged it more than anything, but lately she’s stopped.”
“Ooh,” Alluka cooed delightedly, “Do you think you'll go out with her again?”
“I don’t know,” Gon replied, scratching his cheek with one finger, “Maybe, maybe not.”
“Do what feels right. Love is something that just happens,” Palm mentioned with a wink. Killua shot her a dubious look.
Alluka had a roster of questions for Palm and Gon, such as, what were their dates’ names, how did they meet and what did they do on their outings, her giggling throughout. Killua brooded next to her, and before long started up a video game on the television and absorbed himself in that. Once Ikalgo’s legs could move again, he joined in the game as well, along with Knuckle who could not resist the temptation of a challenge. With his appearance, Palm even spilled that lately Knuckle had been gushing about a veterinarian woman he had met while traveling. Blushing furiously, Alluka eventually revealed she was not sure if she was interested in dating, but was curious, considering she had little opportunity to interact with people outside of Killua and his Hunter friends.
“There’s no need to rush into a decision. Anyone would be lucky to know you in any capacity,” Palm told her.
“You too,” Alluka returned, throwing her arms around the other woman.
“I think I know someone in the city who you might get along with, if your Big Brother allows it,” she said, lightly tapping the tip of Alluka’s nose.
“Huh?” Alluka replied, her eyes growing.
“Another Chimera Ant,” Palm clarified, “We have a tendency to find each other.”
Koala brought them assorted sandwiches and sides, and the rest of the guests filtered into the living room either while or after eating. Chatter regarding their hunts resumed over and around Gon, him struggling to think of any more relevant comments to contribute. He had a few clarifying questions to ask, but was mostly reticent, shifting in his seat, unable to commit to any position for long. He glanced over to Killua to potentially ease any discomfort, but his eyes were fixed on some nondescript thing on the floor, even away from Alluka who had roped Koala into playing a board game.
Palm was describing how she had been involved in a series of sting-like operations, where she used her ability to coordinate raids into the sites of illegal drug manufacturing or other trafficking operations. Morel highlighted the mission he, Shoot and Knuckle were currently pursuing, describing how they caught word of a remote island that few have attempted to find, and no one has been documented to have successfully completed the journey.
“Every record we find says it's surrounded by a never-ending storm,” Morel explained.
“Really?” questioned Palm.
“Oh yeah. Rumor has it that it’s controlled by a man or a beast,” Knuckle confirmed.
An ugly feeling that Gon had been successfully evading was nipping at his heels. He chose to go outside, deciding some fresh air would lessen the tension within him, except excusing himself was only a temporary repose from the real issue: the jealousy that arose when he was amongst Professional Hunters. He was aware that these people still saw him as a friend, that they would lend their help and support if he ever asked, but he yearned to be in their place again, not just for the adventure, but to aid them, too. Right now, he needed to be away from their conversation, away from the reminder that he was weaker and less competent than the rest of the Hunters in the house. Upon stepping outside, he noticed that he was not the only one there.
Detecting the scent of tobacco, he greeted, “Hey, Meleoron.”
“Hey, kid,” he returned, waving with a cigarette between two of his three fingers.
Gon was struck by the realization that he had not been alone with Meleoron since they met in the forest in East Gorteau and formed an alliance to infiltrate the castle. That event also included Gon threatening to end his life if he betrayed him, which he hoped Meleoron had since forgotten.
“You doing okay?” Gon asked, leaning against the porch railing beside him.
“If I lie, will you kill me?”
Gon grimaced.
“Ha! I’m kidding. I’m just getting away from the noise.”
“Same,” Gon said, guarding his true intention of coming outside. “I’m surprised you survived karaoke last night.”
“You’re all an entertaining bunch. I’m just not used to it, it’s quiet where I live.”
“Yeah, me too,” Gon related, “Unless I go into town, there isn't anyone around except my aunt and great-grandmother.”
“That makes a lot of sense…” he muttered.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He turned away briefly. “Most of the time it’s just me and the 50 acres of farmland I help manage.”
“What do you grow?”
“You want to see?!” He asked incredulously, as if he could not comprehend Gon’s interest. Gon nodded his confirmation, and Meleoron excitedly obliged. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he exclaimed, “Okay, check this out!”
He opened his pictures, thumbing past rows of selfies ostensibly taken in error, grumbling something about not being able to figure out how to delete them. He showcased a squash about half as long as his arm, a massive cluster of mushrooms that required two hands to hold, and rows of kale stretching into the horizon. Additionally, he shared some of the recipes with which he had been experimenting, some sounding delectable and some questionable.
Meleoron also explained he had been working on the farm about an hour outside of Swardani City for almost two years now. Officially he was a volunteer, where he was allowed three meals a day and a place to sleep in exchange for his labor. He said it reminded him of his life in the NGL, and at times, he even got to mentor younger farmers.
“Have you ever grown anything?” Meleoron wondered.
“Nah, I’m more of a hunter. By nature and profession, I guess.”
“Oh hey,” Meleoron voiced after exhaling a cloud of smoke, “While I was getting my footing after leaving the NGL, I helped administer one of the Hunter Exams.”
“No way?”
“Yeah, I played a really small part, but I don’t think I’m going to do it again. Way too violent for my tastes.”
“It’s not for everyone,” Gon said, shrugging.
The chameleon-man inhaled another drag of his cigarette. “It’s kind of like… No, I shouldn’t say.”
Gon scrunched half of his face. “That’s alright…”
“Okay, fine!” He said, flinging his arms above his head. “I like hearing about everyone’s travels, but I lose interest when you talk about beating people up!”
“You can show all of us your farm,” Gon suggested, leaning back from Meleoron’s outburst. “Most of us don’t stay in the same place long enough to have any experience with that.”
“Hm,” he uttered, resting his chin between his thumb and middle finger. “Maybe you’re right…”
With Meleoron’s cigarette spent, they headed inside, Gon feeling much more content than when he first encountered him earlier. A distraction, or rather, a good conversation with a friend served well to level his emotions, he could connect with them in a myriad of ways beyond hunting. Gon had changed from when he first met his friends, but he was not alone, and could always step away if necessary.
They parted, Meleoron going towards the living room while Gon drifted into the kitchen. He grabbed a glass from a cabinet and opened the fridge to search for a bottle of juice.
“Hey, Gon…” He heard Alluka’s diminutive voice from behind him. He spun around to find her alone in the entrance to the kitchen, her posture like a pup being scolded, hunched with her eyes down and hands clamped together. “Are you mad at me and Nanika?”
“What?” Approaching her slowly as if to not scare her away, he asked, “Why would I be mad at you?”
“When Nanika healed you… She didn’t give you your Nen back. And now you have to stay home a lot.” Her eyes were glossing over, threatening to leak out.
“Alluka, no, it’s not you or Nanika’s fault at all! I’m the reason that I’m like this now, and only me.” He laid his palm flat over his chest. “You brought me back to life. If Killua didn’t bring you to me, I would still be in the hospital… or dead.”
He gently separated her hands and held them within his own, thinking back to a conversation between him and Kite about reactivating his Nen while they were training together.
“Are you practicing daily?” They asked sternly.
“Yes,” Gon answered, “Every chance I get.”
Kite bit the inside of her lip. She closed her eyes as if to shut out the truth, releasing a breath from her nose.
“I’m not going to give up, I know there has to be an answer somewhere out there. I just need to get off the island.”
“Gon—I never had a family, and you will long outlive your aunt and great-grandmother. When you leave is ultimately your decision, but make the choice that you'll regret the least. The world won’t stop for you, but your answer won’t disappear either.”
Gon continued, “I’m happy to have more time with my Aunt Mito and Great-Grandmother, and even the sailors and animals on the island. Next time I leave home, I’m going to be on missions for months at a time and won’t see them all that often.”
Alluka looked up, her eyes damp. “Will you come see me?”
“I’ll see you more than I do now, that’s for sure. And one day, I’ll be able to protect you properly along with Killua.”
“Promise?”
“With my life.” He nodded, and with his confirmation, Alluka leaned into his chest and he hugged her tightly. They came apart and Alluka’s eyes widened as if she noticed something.
“Since we’re alone,“ she looked around and lowered her voice, “Nanika doesn’t like big groups, but she wants to say ‘hi.’” She shut her eyelids, opening into black hollows.
“Gon, hai,” said Nanika.
He whispered back, “Hi, Nanika.”
“Love you, Gon.”
Gon gaped at her statement, how unexpected yet natural it transpired, like a sudden blast of wind. Such a small phrase could be so disarming, especially since he had only vocally shared the emotion with his aunt and great-grandmother. His world was much larger now, including, what he realized, was many different types of love. He grinned wide, steadying himself from the surprise, to return the sentiment.
“I love you too, Nanika.” They hugged again, a flood of happiness rushing into Gon as he petted her head. He was wholly invested in these girls’ safety and success—they gave him both more reason to improve himself in order to defend them, and to appreciate Killua, since he introduced such precious people to Gon. Alluka reemerged, and Gon allowed her a moment of calm before he proposed that they join their friends. They walked together, returning to the group, catching the end of Morel’s recounting of shutting down an illicit sea floor mining operation.
“Don’t tell me you kept the earnings,” Kite objected exasperatedly.
“Only a little!” Morel explained, “The rest went to the Ant housing fund, and added security and conservation for the area that was being mined.”
She sat back in her seat, crossing her arms. “Okay. You won me over.” Noticing Gon and Alluka entering the room, she invited them over to the table, holding a deck of cards, “You want to join us?”
Gon glanced down at Alluka whose eyes brightened at the offer. He took her hand and they sat next to each other, Kite defining the rules preceding the start of the game. They played a few rounds, intermittently slamming cards on the table, hollering and laughing throughout. Killua soon participated, first chiding Gon for his intensity, then getting caught up in the excitement himself. When the players across from them were taking their turn, Gon whispered a proposal to Killua to explore the marsh later. Without matching his gaze, Killua nodded reservedly, signaling his acceptance. After an hour or so, they decided to watch a movie that had been released earlier in the year, Gon and Killua relinquishing their seats to other guests to prepare for their outing.
Gon made a quick announcement that they were leaving for the remainder of the evening, and Killua hugged Alluka tight before they collected some food for their trek and departed. It was late afternoon by then, the sun hanging low at their backs, casting ribbons of glittering reds and yellows in the water. Pools twisted throughout the verdant land, and once they left the dirt path, their feet sunk into the plush ground with each step.
Walking alongside Killua, Gon mentioned with a light aspiration, rubbing the base of his head, “There's always a ton of people at Kite’s, so if I'm here for a while, I go check out the preserve. They probably appreciate me getting out of the way, too.”
“Don't give me that!”
“Huh?” He turned his head to look at Killua.
“We all want you around,” Killua returned, flicking his forehead. “Idiot.”
“Ah!” Gon ejected, bringing a hand up to his face. A throbbing pain radiated out from the point of impact. “Okay… fine. I just like coming out here.”
The ache faded and he dropped his arm, realizing what Killua had said in conjunction with his assault. Gon was coated by a fuzzy sensation from the compliment, and he smiled to himself momentarily. Any affection from Killua was a rarity, often paired with some form of torment, but Gon was sure to savor both equally.
“Oh, I didn't tell you yet, I talked to Nanika earlier,” he disclosed.
“Really?”
“Yeah. Alluka brought her out after—” he hesitated with how to describe their previous interaction. “She didn't need to, but she apologized to me.”
“What?” Killua halted. “What did you do to my sisters?”
“Killua. Nothing.” Gon held his stare. “She said sorry for not giving me my Nen back, and I told her she shouldn't blame herself for something I did.”
Looking down, Killua expelled a sigh. “She's too kind for her own good. But that's why she's so great.”
They walked along, Gon pointing out locations where he had seen animals, or describing how parts of the sanctuary change depending on the season and which species migrate in, out and through. Killua related some of his travels with his sisters, comparing certain sights and stories with his own.
“Oh, look!” Gon pointed and jogged ahead, spotting a shock of bright blue amongst the green blades of grass. “This is from a native.”
Gon plucked the feather from the ground by its quill, tilting it from side to side to inspect it. Depending on the angle, it appeared gray, blue or violet, the light extracting different colors as he twisted it against the sinking sun.
“I think I’ll give it to Alluka,” he decided, studying the plume. He flinched back, retracting his arm, reacting to Killua’s abrupt advance.
”Let me give it to her,” he demanded, trying to snatch it from Gon, with him pivoting away in response. “It’s your fault she’s into birds now!”
Leaping from Killua’s reach, Gon argued back, “But I want to show her I’m not mad!”
“She’s my sister!”
“You should’ve found it first!”
The boys darted around, grabbing, dodging, jumping and twisting out of each other’s grasps. Gon flung his arm over his head, pinching the feather between his fingers, and Killua’s arm catapulted forward and hooked around his wrist.
They struggled against each other, neither gaining an advantage, pushing with equal force, cautious to not damage the gift. At once, Gon’s feet slipped from under him and his shoulder blades slammed to the ground, the rest of him following. He lifted his head, acutely aware of the additional pressure on top of him, and his eyes opened to Killua’s staring directly back. Gon’s vision was completely consumed by Killua’s piercing blue gaze, and he could feel the other boy’s nose grazing his own, heat crawling over his skin.
Killua shot up instantly, flinging himself back and hitting the ground with a discernible thud. Gon rose slowly to a seated position, his senses still hazy from their proximity.
“You keep it,” Killua muttered across from him, looking to the side. “Save it for that girl back on the island.”
Gon hunched over, Killua’s suggestion pulling at his heart. Looking at the other boy, his soft hair and strong jaw, Gon suppressed the burning urge to reach out and touch his hand.
“I don’t think she wants anything to do with me anymore. I, uh, might have scared her off.”
Killua responded with a stern yet questioning expression.
“I was hiding in a swamp waiting for a fish and came up to say ‘Hi’ to her while she passed by and… she screamed and ran away. Haven’t heard from her since.”
Raising himself from the ground, Killua stifled a laugh and faced the direction of their route.
“Let’s keep going.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the whole story,” Gon started as he stood, “I knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere with her, so, I don’t know, I didn’t think it was worth mentioning. Palm just happened to ask last time we talked.”
“Nothing to be sorry for.” Killua shoved his hands in his pockets. “You have no obligation to tell me anything.”
Gilded light drenched the world around them, shadows trailing long behind the tall grass and sparse trees. Killua’s figure was painted with the stark hues of the lowering sun, his pale skin illuminated golden, the outline of his muscle traced with shade and his jewel-toned eyes gleaming at their rims.
“But I want to,” Gon stated, briefly catching his gaze when Killua looked up from under his snowy locks. “You mean too much to me to keep things from you.”
Killua’s icy eyes met the ground. “Dammit,” he grumbled.
Gon stared at him inquisitively, wondering what merited the reaction. He watched Killua writhe with some internal fight, rubbing his brow before opening his mouth.
“I haven’t been telling you everything, either,” he revealed, “Alluka’s concerned you’re being left out, but, in the past year, I’ve gone on a couple missions with Morel’s team.”
Gon walked with the admission for a couple steps, attentive to its effect on him. “I could never be mad at you, Killua.”
Rolling his eyes, Killua replied, “Come on.”
“It’s true. It feels bad, but I can't blame you. I’m the one who bargained with my own life the last time I came against someone stronger than me.” He shrugged and puffed out a breath of air as if to expel the memory. “I used to have regrets, but it’s a lot easier now.”
“I feel like it’s been long enough,” Killua muttered, “You shouldn’t have to keep being punished for one mistake.”
“I don’t know…” Gon stated, Killua’s observation giving him pause. “I tried to kill myself. I didn’t think about how that might have hurt the people closest to me. And besides, the whole time I was losing control, Kite was still alive—or, being reborn. Really, I’m just trying to be patient.”
Gon could see Killua chew the inside of his cheek, and wondered what he was withholding.
“I can still hunt, sometimes,” he reassured. “I told you about my last mission with Kite, right?”
“You did… But, remind me,” he replied insouciantly. Gon smiled, keen to relive any of his adventures, and even happier that Killua was curious.
Gon recounted the mission he underwent with Kite, how they attempted a furtive entrance into the laboratory, but a captive creature panicked upon their appearance, causing a commotion throughout the building. He detailed which animals were held in the facility, and how he and Kite were able to soothe them and incite their calls in different areas of the premises to distract the culprits. Additionally, he told Killua where the creatures were sent after their release and what he could remember from the criminals’ notes, which did not amount to much, all the data retrieved was handed over to the Hunter Association for research.
Likewise, Killua spoke of his job with Morel, Knuckle and Shoot, where the three of them had previously discovered the location of a sea chart, in the possession of a powerful financier with a history of buying up and exploiting small islands. The document was secured in his home, guarded by a group of Nen users, including someone with a surveillance type Nen, and someone who could move the rooms within a building. After performing their own tests and calculations, the trio recruited Killua for his Godspeed ability, assuming he could outrun the guard’s watch. Once Killua retrieved the map, a fight with the hired guards ensued, of which they left victorious.
“So does the chart lead to that island with the endless storm?” Gon questioned.
“Yup. And once they find it, they’re going to try to make sure no one else can.” There was a lull in his speech, then he suddenly reanimated, whipping his head towards Gon. “Wait, why the hell were you in the water looking for a fish?”
Gon reflexively jolted upright, answering vaguely, “I don’t know. Trying something different?”
Killua huffed. “You’re gonna get leeches.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time.”
“You’re gross, dude.”
“They gotta eat too,” Gon said, shrugging.
Killua teased him about other Hunters eating him if they ran out of food on a mission, with Gon returning that Killua had more meat on him, so he was the ideal option. They talked about unique cuts of flesh they had tried or seen either on travels or from merchants passing through Whale Island, deciding on a few that they needed to find again in the future. To Gon, it almost felt as if they were making plans together, like Killua was implying that he wanted things between them to revert to how they were years ago, like Killua would trust them to be alone again, beyond these brief outings.
They wove together more memories and stories on their passage, collecting any driftwood and incendiaries they could find, and soon came along to the site of a small cave. They dropped their materials to the ground, setting up a wood pile atop a flat rock and positioning a tangle of kindling in the center. Shortly after starting the fire, Gon recalled a recent event held on Whale Island.
“Killua! I remember another song!” He declared with a jump.
“Okay,” he chuckled, “What’s it called?”
“I, uh, maybe I don’t remember the name, but, I remember some of the words and the dance.”
“A dance?” Killua asked, his tone of voice verging on worry.
“Hold on, I need to think about it,” Gon said, stepping forward and back to a beat he was producing with his mouth. “Alright, got it!”
He assumed an upright position, feet spread, arms angled down at his sides. "Some traders passed through this year and shared some of their traditional songs with the islanders. Aaaaand…”
He placed one leg behind him, then swung it forward as if marching, then alternated the other leg, pairing each move with a clap. At first, Killua pretended to cover his eyes as Gon performed the routine, aligning lyrics about the earth’s and sea’s offerings to his moves.
“That’s enough, I get it!” Killua ribbed, waving his arm in front of him.
Gon dropped to the ground, crossing his legs. “That’s what you get for saying I don’t know anything!”
The fire crackling behind them, Killua removed the sling bag from his back and distributed their meal. A flock of small-billed swans flew overhead, making their journey to their resting spot for the night. The sun set as they ate, talking and laughing about anything, Gon almost believing his smile could stay permanent.
There was a lull in their conversation, the sky was sprinkled with infinite stars, and Gon wondered, “Do we need to get back before Alluka goes to bed?”
“Hm? No. She told me she’s gonna room with Palm tonight.” Killua breathed out steadily, a sweetness spread across his face as if he were reflecting on his own child. “She’s starting to figure things out without me. I’ve even started leaving her with Bisky or Kurapika when I go on a job. For so long, she only had Nanika, not even our parents or siblings.”
Gon knew exactly what it was like to not feel wanted by your own kin, how painful the lasting scars of neglect were.
“She’s sixteen now and…” Killua clenched his fists and tilted his head down, a curtain of white hair hanging over his eyes. “She spent almost ten years in captivity! No one visiting her except to give her food and change her sheets, just trapped in her room completely alone.”
Gon pinched his brow. “Your family prevented you from seeing her for that long?”
He sighed audibly and responded, “Yeah.”
“But how?” Killua was the most capable person he knew. He could disarm any trap or sneak past any monitor, and even if he did get caught, he certainly could have reached her at least once during that time. Considering he was trained by the very people who prohibited his access, he should have been able to find his way to her.
“I forgot about her,” he breathed.
“...Forgot?” Gon asked quietly, coaxing out more detail as gently as possible.
“It was Illumi. He implanted a needle in my brain to control me, but I managed to take it out.”
A moment from years ago arose in Gon’s mind, sparking a realization. “Ohhh…” Killua showed him an annoyed expression.
“I remember when that was!” Gon pointed at him. “When I found the golden Chocorobo! You said you didn’t want it!”
“Huh?” Killua’s eyes flitted around as if searching for the memory. “You remember that?”
“Yeah! Something was different about you, but you wouldn’t tell me what. I think you flat out denied it.”
Groaning, Killua cradled his forehead in his palm. He exhaled loudly and sunk his chin to his knees. “I pulled the needle out because I thought of you. I needed to protect you, no matter what.”
Gon blinked, struck by a plummeting sensation within his ribcage. How different things would be if he had let Killua protect him in East Gorteau, but instead, he shoved him as far away as he could. “I wish I never took that for granted.”
Killua swallowed loudly. “I thought you didn’t dwell on it.”
“Most of the time I don't. But it can be hard when we're together.”
Killua shook his head and released an exasperated noise from the back of his throat. “Since we’re being honest,” the phrase was charged with resentment, “whenever I didn’t think I was going to make it… I thought of you,” he finished in a voice barely detectable.
“Killua…” Drifted from Gon’s lips as he tried to keep his heart inside of him.
“Agh,” He clutched his head as if suffering a migraine. “Why did I say that?”
Gon stared intently at Killua, heat flaring from his chest and pricking at his cheeks. He softly placed his hand on his friend’s arm, watching as Killua hesitated to meet his eyes. He needed Killua to look at him, to understand the depth of his sincerity.
“I can't imagine living without you.”
Through his fingertips, Gon could feel him start to tremble. “Do you even hear yourself?”
When Gon envisioned how his life would be after school, relearning Nen and the wild journeys that awaited, his best dreams always included Killua by his side. Above all, he wanted to be with him again; Killua added the richest color to his life, every hunt, every moment with him was effortlessly better and more vibrant. Gon ached to show him just how much he mattered to him, Killua was the most amazing person he knew, with the most fun spirit and the most selfless heart; his dearest friend, the one he needed the most.
“I mean it.” Breath raked coarsely over his dry throat. His blood surged, drowning any resistance remaining within him, and he lifted his hand to Killua’s face, his cheek hot against his palm.
“Gon, wha—?”
“I want to be with you, always.” Gon leaned forward, closing the space between them.
“What are you—?”
Gon saw Killua’s eyes gape wide before he jerked his head away, leaving an empty chill inside of Gon’s hand. His reason snapped back to him instantly, panic in its recoil.
“Shit, I’m so sorry, Killua!” He clutched his hair in both hands. “That wasn’t okay, I should’ve asked and—I’m so stupid!” His stomach clenched with the realization that this was exactly the thing he swore he would avoid, letting his impulses take control without considering Killua’s feelings. “I shouldn’t have assumed that you—”
“Shh, Gon just shut up,” Killua demanded through clenched teeth. Gon complied, holding his breath as he braced for his imminent retribution. Sweat collected at his temples, his skin searing with shame and guilt.
“I…” Killua winced as if the words pained him. “I want you to.”
Gon’s chest felt like it was swelled until it might burst. He reminded himself to resume breathing.
“I just—never thought you would. I never thought anyone would.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Besides Alluka and Nanika, anyone that’s ever gotten that close to me has wanted to hurt me and…” He sighed, punctuating it with a laugh. "I'm pathetic.”
“Killua, you're not allowed to talk like that.”
Killua glared at him, his mouth flattening into a straight line.
Smirking back, Gon added, “You’re anything but. You’re the greatest person I know.”
“Cut that out,” Killua muttered.
A weightlessness spread throughout Gon’s body, his insides fluttering madly. “I’m just happy you want to kiss me, too.”
Killua’s whole face stained a deep shade of red. “Why do you have to say these things out loud?”
Gon showed his teeth, and upon closing his mouth, he covered Killua’s hand with his own. “I don’t mind waiting.” He curled his fingers under Killua’s palm, and could even feel a faint brush of reciprocation over his fingertips. “Since I’m done with school soon, do you want to visit me on the island after I graduate?”
“What if Aunt Mito asks you to do college?” Killua teased.
Flailing his free arm in front of him, he responded emphatically, “I never agreed to that!”
Killua erupted with laughter, noting, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you that scared before!” Gon could only rest his cheek on his knees and stare at Killua, entranced by the other boy’s smile.
“Are your nightmares filled with textbooks?” He teased, glancing at Gon and flinching once he saw his expression. “What’s with that look?”
Gon’s brow rose, a smug grin pulling at his lips. He peered down at their joined hands, squeezing tenderly.
“Don’t push it,” Killua groaned, his cheeks glowing pink in the firelight. His lidded gaze drifted down, then met Gon’s, with his gleaming blue eyes that rivaled the beauty of the full moon. “Yeah. I’ll visit you. We can figure out what we’re going to do next.”
Those simple words, the declaration of future adventures together, was enough to make the stagnation and loneliness that enveloped the past few years worth their stay. A profound happiness bubbled inside of him and he lurched into Killua, lassoing his arm across him and pushing both of them to the ground, shouting.
“Killu-aaaaaaa!”
“Ahh, what?!”
“We’re going to see the world together!” Gon proclaimed, pressing the side of his face into Killua’s chest.
“Y-yeah. I guess we are.” He rested his head on the grass, his eyes reflecting the infinite stars above. Gon shifted to the ground, laying on his side, silently tracing the constellations within the boy next to him.
“The first time we were together on Whale Island… That’s the first time I felt like I belonged somewhere,” Killua said slowly, as if meticulously choosing each word individually, “It took me a while to recognize—that feeling came from being with you.”
At 12 years old, barging into the Zoldyck mansion to pry Killua out of his family’s oppressive grasp, Gon could have never envisioned what this boy would end up meaning to him. Having been forced to forget his only source of affection, Killua spent most of his childhood devoid of comfort or love from another person, his gruesome purpose assigned to him from a young age, and countless abuses inflicted upon him to shape him to his family’s expectations. A killer did not need to care for others, but he was not a killer, he was a friend and a brother and Gon wanted to surround him with all of the warmth he lacked earlier in life.
“You're the only one for me, Killua.”
For a time, they remained unmoving, hand in hand, exchanging no words, their breath in seamless harmony. Gon felt light, floating in the wake of their mutual confessions, insistently convincing himself it was not a dream. When he was certain that he inhabited his own body once more, he asked Killua if he wanted to go anywhere together that he had seen on his travels with Alluka. He listed a few places, both of them speaking in lowered voices, as if to not disturb the stillness around them, nor share this moment with anyone else, regardless of no other presence nearby.
Eventually, they dragged themselves up from the ground and headed to the house, Gon drifting on a cloud the whole way back and up the stairs to the room in which he was staying. The rest of the house was already asleep, Gon estimating it was a couple hours past midnight, and he whispered an invitation to Killua to sleep in his bed, since Alluka was rooming with Palm tonight. They completed their nightly routines side by side and slid into bed facing each other, their shallow breaths mingling. Gon glided his hand into Killua’s, rhythmically sweeping his thumb back and forth, their pulses throbbing against each other through their skin. They both gazed at one another in the trace light filtering in from the moon outside of their window, Gon scanning every inch of Killua’s perfect features above their shared blanket.
“I wanted to ask,” Gon started softly, breaking the long silence, “You can say no, but, could I maybe… give you a kiss on your forehead?”
“I–” Killua's voice cracked, his eyes flitting up and down. “Um.” His mind seemed to slow, thoroughly contemplating his answer while Gon waited patiently. “Y–okay. Yeah, you can.”
Gon's heart sped impossibly fast as he lifted himself onto his elbows, straddling his arms over either side of Killua. As he positioned his upper body over the other boy’s, their noses brushed, Killua shivering slightly at the contact. Gon could see him struggling to meet his eyes, and when he finally did, they were welled up with tears. Gon showed him a gentle smile and delicately brushed the wisps of hair from his face, Killua biting his lip and clamping his eyes shut at his touch. He lowered his mouth towards Killua’s face, closing his own eyes, and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, lingering for just a second to take in the irresistible scent of his hair.
Killua sniffled, droplets streaming out of the corners of his eyes, and Gon wiped each one away, making soothing sounds and murmuring reassurances. He ran his fingers through his silken locks, and almost automatically, mindlessly uttered the words:
“I love you, Killua.”
Killua tensed under him, curling into Gon’s chest like a wilting flower. He gripped the front of Gon’s shirt with both hands, choking on his sobs.
“S-sorry,” he managed to release.
“Nothing to be sorry for,” Gon replied, stroking his powder white hair.
“It’s just,” he gasped, “It’s a lot.”
“It is. But I’m certain.” He wrapped Killua in his arms, pulling him closer and pressing his mouth to the crown of his head.
They laid interlocked like cubs in a den, Killua’s knees under Gon’s, Gon’s chin over Killua’s head for as long as it took for his breath to steady and body to still, Gon’s arms coiled around him throughout. He wanted to preserve this memory as closely as possible, the sensation of holding this boy close, his nose in his hair, the feel of his skin and sound of his breath.
A muffled voice floated up from Gon’s chest, saying, “I love you too.”
Then it was Gon’s turn to shed tears. How could someone so amazing, so strong and smart and funny feel the same about him? When his path ahead was dark and featureless, Killua provided a light forward, guiding him along. From the moment they met eyes as kids, Gon gravitated towards him, and his pull never yielded, even when they were separated. Killua was his journey and his destination, and no matter where their lives took them, Gon would always seek him out. He wondered how it was possible to be this happy, to have in his arms the boy he loved—loved. He never thought he would be deserving of the emotion, and never considered it a possibility before Killua came into his life. Warm sparks crackled over his skin with each acknowledgment of his feelings toward Killua, only fizzling out with the arrival of a deep sleep.
Suspended between awake and asleep, Gon could hear Palm’s muffled voice on the other side of the door asking, “Are those boys still sleeping?”
He was then met with an open hand slamming into his sternum, his body sliding to the edge of the bed. Next to him, Killua vaulted upwards, his eyes pinned open as they heard a light knock on the door with an announcement of breakfast being ready. He rushed to the door, greeting Palm and Alluka outside of it, Gon choking out a ‘good morning’ from the bed. His hand clutching his hair, Killua cracked the door once they left, turning only halfway towards Gon.
Gon stood, approaching Killua, gently pinching his hand and leading him to sit at the end of the bed together. He raked his fingers through the back of Killua’s hair, and Killua leaned on his shoulder.
In a low voice, Gon started, “I meant everything I said la—”
“I know,” Killua interrupted. “I did too. I um…” He looked down at his hands in his lap. “Maybe we don’t tell our friends about this just yet.”
“That’s fine.” Gon shrugged. “So you two are leaving after breakfast?”
“Yeah.”
“Can I say ‘bye to you now, then?”
Killua straightened up, looking at him with pleading eyes and nodded slowly. They shared one final embrace, surrounding each other tightly in their arms like one of them would disappear if they let go. The hug felt like a promise, a pact to return to this exact position over and over and over again. It was exhilarating, terrifying and disorienting, plunging into this new foray between them, but they had both learned from their past missteps to forge an unbreakable bond. When they retracted from each other, Gon cupped Killua’s face in his hand, seeing their future together within his starry eyes, whether as partners on the hunt, or in quiet moments mirroring this one. Killua pressed his face into Gon’s hand before tilting away, and Gon delivered his parting vow.
“I’ll see you soon.”
Intersections
Prologue | Read on Ao3 | 2k words
Author’s Notes: My take on Gon’s off-screen apology to Killua after the Chimera Ant arc. Thank you for reading!
Summary: Once a year after their separation, Killua and Gon reunite. Things feel different between the boys, far from irreparable, but the foundation of their relationship has tilted, and with one of them on the run and the other without nen, balance is hard to reach. They have both transformed under the intense pressures of the past, and while it might take them a bit to realign, that does not mean they will not try—although with bumps on the way. This story is about teens wrestling with their true feelings, friendships old and new, and all the awkward, goofy, angsty and warm-hearted moments that come with them.
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Gon took in the sunlight from the window next to him from his seat on an airship. It was his second trip in a matter of days, first to visit Kite, then to immediately turn around and meet back up with Ging at the World Tree. A silent prayer followed his every thought that someone else would be waiting for him there, too. His nerves were still on fire from recent events, the final fight against Neferpitou, waking up in the hospital, meeting his father for the first time and the presence of so many friends being there for his recovery—except those in attendance did not include Killua. Earlier, with Leorio, he had informed Gon that Killua had been in Swardani City where Gon laid comatose, even visited him at his bedside, and that he was with his sister. Gon could not recall Killua ever mentioning a sister!
As if his rousing was planned, many friends that he met in the past two years were waiting around the hospital when his eyes opened. He was immediately swept to the auditorium which held the election for the new Hunter Association chairperson, but Gon felt equally as urgent to not be in his bed any longer, not even giving himself the time to change out of his hospital clothes. The days he spent in the infirmary passed by in a pitch-black instant while the outcome of his fate was deliberated elsewhere. He could faintly remember murmurs near him as he slept, but like a message carved in stone and weathered over time, he could not decipher their meaning. He swore that Killua was the last person he heard before waking, or maybe, even unconscious, Killua’s voice echoed throughout Gon’s memory with his desperate desire to be with him.
Once the world around him slowed, Gon was able to fully recognize the visceral absence of his best friend, like a growing hole inside of his heart. He had finally achieved his life’s goal of finding Ging, but what waited on the other side was a pit of emptiness, as he recognized what he sacrificed to get to this place. He was not strong enough to protect his mentor, he expended his own life to enact revenge, and in the process, he pushed away the person who was most dear to him. He never could have imagined how difficult it would feel to try pulling him back.
He recalled, still fresh in his memory, the tension within him threatening to snap while he contemplated calling Killua. After he and Kite apologized to each other and discussed the future, Gon ran back to catch an airship, elated by Kite reaffirming Gon’s belonging to their team. As his excitement leveled off, a rising uncertainty took its place, the realization that he had not yet tried to reach out to the person who deserved an apology probably more than Kite.
Retrieving his phone, he pulled up Killua's contact information, and read his name over and over on the screen. His hand trembled with an unfamiliar hesitation, a visceral awareness that his actions could once again hurt the people he cared about so deeply, that if he said or did the wrong thing he may never experience Killua’s light again. Gon had been powerless to save Kite, even Kite recognized the limits of their own ability, but he was solely responsible for how he behaved towards Killua, and he wondered if he could be forgiven.
Questions and doubts swirled around him, constricting his throat, making his body heat up and his chest ache. Could Killua ever trust him again? Were they still friends? Did Killua hate him? Did Killua even want to hear from him? Would Killua ignore his call? Would Gon try calling again if he did? It was just one button he had to press, one tiny insignificant motion that would connect him to the person he wanted to talk to more than anything, but it could have also confirmed an unmendable fracture between them. It was as if Gon was teetering at the edge of a cliff, yet he never thought twice about jumping before this moment.
Gon closed his eyes and took a slow and deliberate breath. Whichever action he chose, he would have to live with, but he would never forgive himself if he did not fight for Killua. His finger pressed the button to place a call, and he steadily raised the phone to his ear. Each successive ring felt like needles under his skin as he imagined Killua looking at his phone, waiting for the call to time out. Seconds stretched excruciatingly long, and finally, the block of air in his lungs crumbled when his friend answered.
“Hello?” Killua’s monotonous voice greeted him.
Gon sputtered back, “K-Killua!”
There was a slight pause, as if both of them were waiting for the other one to speak. Gon went first, the words spilling out of his mouth.
“Thank you—for picking up. I’m… I’m really sorry. For everything. I don’t even know where to start.”
Memories emerged of Gon’s scathing remarks, Killua’s downtrodden face and even Killua’s bandaged hands, crowding his mind so tightly he could not find an approach to any of them.
“I’m going to meet up with Ging at the World Tree, but I want to see you in person so I can apologize correctly. Would you and, um, your sister want to visit too?”
“At the World Tree? Yeah that’s fine.”
Another stretch of silence.
“We’ll be at the Canopy Inn tomorrow. See ya.”
Then the line disconnected. Gon looked down at his phone, processing their brief interaction and Killua’s abrupt exit. He replayed Killua’s words in his mind, then suddenly scrambled to open the notes application on his phone to write down the hotel that he mentioned. He immediately headed to the nearest airport, and now, with multiple pamphlets and maps splayed out in front of him in his seat, he knew the exact path that would take him to Killua once he landed. He could only assume he would find him at the inn with the information Killua gave him, but he was willing to scale the whole city and beyond to find him.
He leaned back in his chair and gazed out the window, wishing the airship would move faster. To pass the time, he had already spoken to the captain extensively and wriggled into every space to which he could find access, but presently, he was just waiting, basking in the warmth of the sun that he was certain he lost. Gon could not avoid inviting the sweet sting of memories from when he and Killua were on an airship for the first time together, learning about each other and overestimating their strength against Netero. Like all wounds, he knew the regret he felt would eventually heal and smooth over, yet the current pain was inescapable.
In front of him laid a map of the town around the World Tree, with a path marked from the airport to Killua’s lodging, traced messily in pencil. Knowing him, Killua would be able to find out when and from where Gon was arriving with a few internet searches. The passage of time seemed to blur for the rest of his journey, with a mechanical instinct carrying him to Killua’s location.
Gon saw him in the courtyard of his hotel from meters away, freezing at his appearance. His indistinguishable white hair which flowed in all directions, and usual stoic posture with his hands in his pockets. He really was waiting for him, he really came all this way to meet him and he was right here. Gon’s feet unstuck from the ground and he flung himself towards his friend, his breath hard in his throat and his eyes blurring.
He slammed in front of Killua, chest tight and feeling winded despite the short distance covered. He looked up at his friend, still partially convinced he was a mirage, brow tight with desperation.
“You're here.” The words floated from his lips, Gon barely registering their release.
“Yeah. I said we would be.”
“Where’s your sister?”
“She’s resting in our room. I still haven't decided if you're allowed to meet her yet.”
Gon winced, glancing at the stone beneath him. Although his answer was expected, he could not defend himself from the blow.
“Yeah… I…” The words caught in this throat. “I’m really sorry, Killua. I treated you so unfairly, nothing I said to you was true and—I was just so hurt, I couldn’t deal with the pain.”
Killua glared at him, crossing his arms in front of his torso. Gon felt his heart squeeze and he forced out more of an explanation.
“I wasn’t thinking—I wanted the same as Kite. I was so sad and angry and I wanted to punish myself for being so weak, so I tried pushing you away. Maybe that way, you wouldn’t have missed me if…”
If his sacrifice had been successful.
Killua sighed at length. “That’s been your problem since the beginning, you know that? You’re too quick to throw your life away!”
He recalled an instance from over a year ago, when Killua loudly chastised him for his reckless behavior at Heaven’s Arena, or when he and Killua argued over who would offer themselves as bait to escape the Phantom Troupe in Yorknew. Gon would habitually risk death to test his strength, but against Pitou, he was determined for their fight to be his last.
“Don’t be so eager to die.” Killua jabbed a finger towards Gon’s face. “‘Cause I’m gonna murder whoever kills you!”
Despite Killua’s ire, Gon was relieved. He could not resist the upward pull at his lips against his friend’s scolding, because he still cared, regardless of Gon’s attempt at estrangement. His whole life, Gon never felt wanted, he was a friendless, fatherless kid, but these past few days have shown him evidence of the contrary. Even Ging had some advice to lend before they parted.
You promise to do things differently next time, and you keep that promise no matter what.
“I'm going to be more careful, Killua, I promise. I’ll never do anything that stupid again. Not towards myself, and especially not you.”
Killua turned from him, grumbling about how ‘stupid’ does not begin to describe Gon’s actions in East Gorteau, and Gon considered him stepping away as an invitation to follow. Killua’s criticism did not wane, yet he did not dismiss him as he scanned his key card at the back entrance to the hotel, and Gon could only smile in response. He was next to his friend again, and though their time together was temporary, it confirmed something that Gon had been overlooking for years.
From a young age, Gon had convinced himself that he was insignificant, a notion so embedded in his identity that he accepted his life was dispensable. He had not made a friend before he was 12 years old, and very quickly after meeting, Killua became the most important person to him. If Gon was able to hurt Killua as much as he did, and yet he still showed up during Gon’s worst moment, he must have cared about their bond, too. Aside from Killua, others were waiting outside of the hospital for him to wake up, and Leorio was tirelessly campaigning for his treatment. It would be difficult for Gon to fully digest, but he had friends, people who were more concerned for his well-being than he ever was, and with his vow, he needed to stay living for them.
Gon and Killua approached his hotel room, where his sister was residing. He smiled at his friend, immeasurably grateful to be at his side, to have bested death if only to see him once more. Killua was willing to hear him, maybe even to forgive him, and Gon would never falter on his word. He had not considered Killua’s viewpoint back in East Gorteau, either nudging him towards his will or rejecting his words altogether, and only after inflicting so much pain was Gon able see his error. By his own fault, his own desire even, he almost ensured that he would never see Killua again, but it was he who dragged him back from hell. Nonetheless, they were here now, however briefly, alive and together, and Gon promised himself that he would not waste his second chance.
It's still hard for a bashful boy
Intersections
Chapter 2: Year 2 | Read on Ao3 | 21k words
Author's Note: The personal horrors of the first half of this year have finally subsided and I am just now starting the next chapter, so have this one while you wait!
Summary: Every year after their separation, Killua and Gon reunite. Things feel different between the boys, far from irreparable, but the foundation of their relationship has tilted, and with one of them on the run and the other without nen, balance is hard to reach. They have both transformed under the intense pressures of the past, and while it might take them a bit to realign, that does not mean they will not try—although with bumps on the way. This story is about teens wrestling with their true feelings, friendships old and new, and all the awkward, goofy, angsty and warm-hearted moments that come with them.
---
Gon peered at the Beetle phone in his hand, only 15 minutes lapsing since his last check. He walked through a maze of towers, each street blending into the last, indistinguishable to Gon’s untrained eyes, yet, once he entered city limits, he could remember the incessant commotion of York New. The smells and sounds of the dense metropolis were almost overwhelming to him, all coalescing into a monotonous droning that clogged his senses. He felt uneasy, somewhat turbulent, as if he were navigating choppy waters. Yet, he knew his destination would tether him.
Where he was headed was inconsequential, it was who he was headed towards. Just over an hour ago, he landed in upper York New by airship, unloaded, ran to the train, and had covered the distance of multiple Whale Island town centers to get into the city. In the past year, he had rarely left the island except to visit Kite, and only once were Leorio and Kurapika able to visit him. They had been a relatively short airship ride away for a Zodiac meeting, and could not even stay for a full day.
But today, the four of them—five including Alluka—will reunite for the first time in ages, and there was no better day to meet than the First of September. Leorio and Kurapika finally acquired three days off in succession, and they would all honor the long weekend with a camping trip. Summer’s grip was loosening, with peak temperatures recently beginning to fall. Gon would not have minded the weather conditions regardless, but he was content knowing his friends, especially Alluka, would be comfortable.
Every block, the endless wall of glass and steel would open as he walked across intersections, stretches of sky portioned out in a few feet at a time, revealing an additional vein of the city. Gon watched the street numbers decline with each crossing, all the while repeating Killua’s last message to him in his mind.
We’ll be at Crossroads Park at 1:00., was what he sent him before Gon landed. Gon’s phone did not get reception at high altitude, so he received the text hours late, and yet, Killua had not followed up with anything else. During his flight, Gon mapped his path from the airport to the park, exiting the subway about a half mile early to get his blood flowing again after sitting for so long in transit. And perhaps he thought it would help soothe the stirring sensation in his abdomen, reaching an apex while he stood at the train station reviewing his text string with Killua.
He was so close to seeing him, and more than anything, Gon wanted to be with him again, but he was all too aware of his own tendencies that once pushed Killua away. Once he saw him, Gon convinced himself, everything would settle; it always did. Leading up to today, he felt what he could only describe as nervous about their reunion. Killua was amazing, fun and smart, but if Gon thought about him too long, his throat would dry up, and although he never really cared what other people thought of him, with Killua, he wanted to be the best version of himself. That way, Killua might accept, maybe even return, at least some of what Gon felt towards him.
Gon had tried to put into words this growing fondness for Killua, but every time he did, his mind congealed into thick sludge and his heart would threaten to burst. ‘Fondness’ was not sufficient alone; it was as if the emotion had acquired life of its own, influencing Gon at its whim. He would purposefully wake in the middle of the night to receive a call from Killua when he was visiting a faraway time zone, or plan his study schedule around Killua’s availability. He even checked his email often, despite his distaste of computers, to see if Killua sent him a new picture or video, and when any attachments featured Killua himself—Gon’s pulse would still for a beat.
He ached to see his best friend again, eager to close the distance between them permanently. Gon had to wait longer than a year to see him, but at least they had been communicating often during the same period. The best part of the year prior was that Killua had voluntarily kept up with Gon with such frequency. It was not every day that they checked in, but almost, and the only change Gon could want was to be next to him. But until he could grab onto him for good, Gon would continue to creep towards him over time, like a vine searching for sunlight.
The city seemed to have been listening to his thoughts, as the next block opened up to a park. His eyes followed a long path that stretched diagonally across the plot of green grass, meeting another diagonal path in the center, and standing in the middle of the crossroads were the Zoldycks. Gon’s legs moved faster than his head, instantly reacting to their sight and sprinting full force ahead.
“HEY!” He shouted, noticing the siblings pivot towards him.
As he got closer, he could see Killua’s eyes widen larger, as if fully realizing his rapid approach. Gon launched himself forward and collided with Killua, together skidding back a few inches, their arms clasping around each other. He was immediately overtaken with the pressure of his hold, the scent of his skin. There was a dizzying rush throughout his body, and like a dam breaching, feelings that he restricted for over a year released inside of him, pushing out a tear from the corner of his eye. Finally.
Seconds later, still latched together, thoughts slowly seeped back into Gon’s mind, along with sensation returning to his limbs. His body floated back to earth, and as soon as his feet were firmly on the ground, he pulled away, his hands still gripping Killua’s arms below his shoulders. Killua shared a sincere smile with him, his cheeks tinted with blush, his eyes glistening like a cool sea. With a huge grin on his face, Gon tucked in his elbows, crouching in quiet celebration, and then swiftly detached himself from the other boy, lunging towards Alluka, coiling his arms around her before lifting and spinning her once.
“Gon!” She shrieked enthusiastically. He released her, all of them laughed together, and a thousand flowers bloomed inside of Gon’s heart. He could never grow tired of this.
“How are you!?” Gon hollered. “I’m so happy to see you!” He glanced between the siblings, Alluka clapping excitedly and Killua diverting his eyes with a shy grin.
“You just had to start being embarrassing immediately,” Killua gently chided, making Gon’s heart flutter.
“I love Yorknew!” Alluka cheered, hopping, “So does Nanika! Pigeons are her favorite!”
Killua petted the back of her head twice, telling her, “She really knows their favorite snacks.”
Alluka gave Killua a huge grin before closing her eyes, revealing her sister. Nanika laughed grittily and Killua gazed upon her with a palpable admiration.
“Hey, Nanika!” Gon greeted her with a wave.
“Gon. Hai.”
“I can see why you came to this park,” he observed, looking at all the gray birds scattered around, pecking at the ground.
Nanika giggled unevenly, the voids of her eyes squinting. Gon revealed in the beauty of the space around them, the sun warming him outside of the artificial shade from the skyscrapers, breeze flowing through the trees and softly cooing birds.
Killua requested sweetly, “Is it okay if Alluka shares her favorite part too?”
“'Kay.”
Nanika shut her eyes, Alluka’s features returning when they reopened.
Almost yelling, she excitedly reported, “We found the weirdest food truck earlier!”
“What?!” Gon leaned towards her. “What was it? Did you get any?”
“It was like a dumpling, but inside was a full meatball, and outside,” she explained with various emphasis layered onto each word, miming a sphere between her hands, “wrapped around the meatball, was—spaghetti! ”
Pointing a finger upwards, Killua added, “And deep fried.”
Gon’s eyes bulged wide, his imagination running wild.
“And, yes. We had to try one,” Alluka admitted, giggling.
“Oh man…” Gon bent over limply as if exhausted. “That sounds so good!” He realized he had not eaten since before he departed early this morning.
A light tease in his voice, Killua suggested, “You want to grab lunch?”
“Yeah definitely! Whatever you guys want to do!”
“We found a place a couple blocks away that we want to try,” Killua said, gesturing with a motion of his arm.
They all nodded to each other and began walking together, Gon behind the siblings. Despite their refugee status, Gon could see that Killua had obviously kept up a workout routine, his sleeveless shirt showing proof. He still shaped his hair shorter in the front than the back, which had grown further down his spine since their past visit. Watching Killua turn to face his sister as they talked, his cool eyes and bright smile, Gon felt his face tingling with heat.
Killua peeked over his shoulder to tell him, “This place has cake slices in every flavor you can think of.”
“Can we walk faster, then?!” Gon requested, passing between them. He heard Alluka giggle and then felt a hand grip his shoulder and jerk him back.
“Patience!” Scolded Killua, practically breathing fire. He took a breath and his voice steady, continued, “Also Alluka needs to look both ways before crossing.”
“Only if you do!” Alluka returned, a melody threaded through her words.
Killua dropped his arm, agreeing with her. “Yeah…”
Alluka was holding her safety hostage in his own actions, and it was working. Gon thought she was a genius; it was barely fair that she had two minds in her head. Before he and Killua separated, in East Gorteau, Gon expected Killua to be just as reckless as he was after confirming Kite’s demise. With his grief shrouding all rationality, he was impossible to persuade, exchanging any of Killua’s leveled reasoning with harsh venom. Maybe he would have been convinced otherwise, had he seen Killua put himself in danger.
“Right here,” he heard Killua say, and he unstuck his aimless gaze from the concrete below.
They stepped into the building, a classic cafe with classic dark wooden furniture and black and white tile floors awaiting them inside. They were seated at a table with cushioned chairs, and Killua and Gon immediately began to study the menu. They ordered right away, and while their food was being prepared, Alluka went to the counter to thoroughly inspect the cake selection. Their drinks were served, an orange juice for Gon, a coffee for Killua, and Gon thought to himself with a chuckle, that not everything has changed over the past two years.
Sitting across from him like this, like they used to, Gon’s chest suddenly felt constrained. This moment would not be long, similar scenes certainly would not happen more often, and there was a palpable difference between then and now. Since their time together, Killua had grown, his hair longer, his chin more defined, his shoulders more broad, changes that all happened separate from Gon. While Gon understood regret would do him no good, sometimes it caught him before he could recognize it.
Alluka returned, a grin wide across her face, plopping herself back into her seat.
Killua greeted, “Hey, you!”
“Hi!” Alluka chirped.
“What’d you get?” He asked jovially.
She touched her cheek with one hand, stifling back a laugh. “You should be thinking about what you got.”
Gon and Killua locked eyes for a second, then looked to Alluka after they reached the same conclusion.
“Alluka! You wouldn’t!”
“I won’t let you down, I promise!” She declared, holding up her pinky finger, determination glimmering in her eyes.
“Okay,” Killua responded, expelling a puff of air. He joined their pinkies together and Alluka rang with laughter. Gon wondered where she had learned to hook pinky fingers to make a promise—did Killua show her, or did they learn from somewhere else?
Blushing, Alluka quickly clapped her hands together in succession. “Here they come!”
The server brought their cakes and the trio stared wide-eyed, fixated on the desserts’ descent. Before they left the table, Alluka noticed their lanyard, adorned with enamel pins of animals and hearts and food puns. “I love your pins!”
“Thank you! I love your beads,” they complimented back, pulling on a section of the cord around their neck.
“Thanks! My sister helped me make them.” Alluka picked up a beaded strand of hair and admired it. “She’s really talented!”
“I can tell! Is she in the city with you, too?”
“Oh! She’s always with me!” Alluka chimed, tapping her fingertips together.
Blinking multiple times, the waiter raised their brow. Killua put his arm around Alluka’s shoulder, squeezing her closer to him.
“That’s precious. Let me know if you need anything else!” The employee said before turning and leaving with a bright service smile.
Simultaneously, they picked up their forks and stabbed them into their confections, each emitting a sound of delight upon popping them into their mouths. Gon’s slice had layers of vanilla sponge with raspberry sauce between: an amazing choice, he thought to himself. Their cakes were rapidly reduced to crumbs on their plates, they paid the bill, and left to explore the city until they could meet with Leorio after his shift at the hospital.
The city was more vibrant alongside the Zoldycks, with Alluka squealing at products in windows and Killua pointing out the purpose and history of buildings or sites. Not that Gon would remember or even understand Killua’s monologues, but his voice and overall presence captivated Gon. Alluka would frequently stop them for a photo, sometimes pushing her camera into Gon’s hand and calling Killua to pose with her. While they passed through a small park, she requested a picture to be taken with Killua in front of a blocky modern art sculpture, kissing her brother on the cheek as Gon pointed the camera at them. Once the image was captured, Alluka trotted over to Gon to retrieve the camera.
“Thanks!” She looked down at the teal object in her hands before asking, “Gon, Big Brother, can I get one of you in the same place?”
“Huh?” Killua ejected, “Oh, I guess.” He glanced at Gon nervously and meant ahead. Gon scurried next to him and they positioned themselves next to each other in front of the statue, Gon flailing an arm over Killua’s shoulder for the picture.
Perhaps Gon was still overly excited from seeing his friends after so long, or he felt he needed to create a memorable photo—either way, he was not really thinking when he started to lean into Killua. Killua dipped slightly to maintain balance against Gon’s weight, and with one of Gon’s arms already around his shoulders, he scooped him up above his knees, holding the white-haired boy bridal style. Looking down at Killua, he could see his face showing exasperation yet he was entirely flushed, and Gon could have considered kissing him on the cheek, too.
“Gon!” Killua cried, his tone bulging with desperation.
“That’s perfect! Hold that!” Alluka shouted towards them, peeping through her lens and stepping back a few strides. She pointed the camera at the boys, Gon beamed towards her and Killua collected himself enough to raise his arms and smile for the photo. After they heard the click of the shutter, Gon lowered Killua while he muttered how stupid the entire situation was. Snickering, Gon walked with Killua towards Alluka, all of them deciding their next destination while Alluka stuffed the camera back into her bag.
Gon felt his phone buzz, and in unison, he and Killua reached into their pockets and pulled out their devices. A message from Leorio was in Gon’s inbox, and he and Killua both whipped their heads up from their phones, smiling at each other. Leorio was off of work, and they all rushed in the direction of the hospital to meet him. From down the street, they could see the lanky doctor waiting outside in front of the building. He wore clear glasses and was still in his lab coat, white button down and tie underneath.
“Leorio!” Gon called, hopping in place then dashing ahead.
He lifted his palms slightly, a smile opening on his face. “He-hey!” Gon crashed into him with a hug, Leorio returning it.
“Hey Killua, hey Alluka! It’s great to see you!” He said cheerily as Gon split from him, Alluka slotting herself in for her own hug. Leorio returned her greeting, clapping his arms around her and smiling before asking, “Any of you need anything before we head out?”
“Nope! Let’s go now!” Alluka answered, pulling apart. Leorio and Killua shared a playful glance, and Killua confirmed they were ready.
They followed Leorio to the parking garage, descending a flight of concrete stairs to a modest black sedan waiting in a reserved space. Killua called the front seat, and Gon feinted running ahead for no other purpose than to irritate him. They loaded their luggage and selves in the car, Gon positioned behind Leorio, and they headed north, away from the city. Given the traffic, Gon expected them to never leave city limits, but countless minutes later, trees began to replace the towers. Extra time with his friends was by no means negative, but he was eager to see Kurapika, as he expected the Zoldycks were, too. He perfected their group’s balance, especially since Gon had always known him by Leorio’s side.
They chatted and remarked on the sights as the landscape became less developed and more natural. Leorio described some of the conditions he had seen at the hospital during the week, and mentioned that Melody sometimes comes by to play flute for the patients. The mention of Melody reminded Gon that he had not seen her since he left the hospital himself two years ago. In the past year, Killua and Alluka were able to attend one of Melody’s performances, but Gon was often in a different corner of the world.
He breathed deeply, looking from the window back to his friends. He could see Killua in the passenger’s seat, his powdery hair laying down his neck, sometimes turning his head to speak to Leorio or Alluka, showing his sapphire eyes. If only he could find more reasons to have the same view. Leorio veered onto a ramp which led to a rural highway, houses sparse and horizons far away.
There were farms and ranches on either side of the road, and in some stretches, there was nothing but nature and farms. Gon was reminded of the time an entire shipment of flour once spilled out on the docks and the islanders were able to construct a brick oven and bake a quick bread in the time it took to clean all of it. The car erupted in waves of laughter throughout Gon’s retelling, and the lanes on which they rode narrowed, homes nestled far back on their large lots. The car carried them down the tree-lined streets, and finally, slowing to turn, Leorio announced that they had arrived.
The entrance to the property was blocked by a tall but simple black iron gate, which opened automatically upon Leorio’s approach. Gon, Killua and Alluka shared a collective ‘Woah’ upon pulling up to Kurapika’s house. It was verging on a manor: a wide yellowish stucco facade stacked with gaping windows greeted them at the end of a stone driveway. The building stood two stories tall upon a bed of verdant grass, the plot carved out from a dense forest surrounding the house on three sides. The fence attached to the entrance gate disappeared into the woods, stretching far beyond Gon’s view.
“Being an ex-mafia boss and a Zodiac have their benefits!” Leorio called out, folding his arm on the ledge under his window.
“It's beautiful!” Alluka cried, leaning forward towards the center console to look through the windshield.
Leorio parked at the side of the house and all four of them unbuckled their seats and exited the car. Gon trotted to the trunk of the vehicle and grabbed his backpack.
“Leorio, do you have a bag?” He asked.
“Just my briefcase, I put it by Killua’s feet,” he replied, shutting the driver’s side door. Gon dropped the lid of the trunk before the four of them walked together on the beige brick path leading to the stately front door of the house.
When they reached the stoop, Kurapika was there to welcome them at the entrance, and as soon as he swung the door open fully, Gon and Alluka tackled him with hugs, which he received with surprise, then a warm smile. After breaking from him, Gon could see he was wearing a traditional Kurta shawl and skirt in a forest green and yellow color scheme. Killua and Leorio opted for more subtle greetings, and Kurapika beckoned the others further inside, and the group followed, resuming their praises of his home.
The house was grand yet tasteful, thought Gon. There were subtle touches of hand-carved wood columns or a polished marble mantle that elevated the interior, enhancing the natural beauty of the materials. Everything was thoughtfully curated and positioned, every piece of furniture or art filling a specific niche, no space too empty or too cluttered. From where they stood, they could see the back wall of the building, lined with floor to ceiling windows, incorporating the vast outdoor space into the decor.
“I sincerely thank you,” Kurapika replied with a humble smile, “Your rooms are ready, I’ll take you upstairs.”
Gon removed his jacket, hung it on the wood sculpted coat hanger and followed. The stairs were an installation themselves, starting wider at the bottom and narrowing upwards. Black wrought iron rails ran up each side of the staircase, patterns twisted into elegant symmetrical designs within them. Killua and Alluka were directed to their shared room, Gon occupying a separate room across the hall from them.
“Thank you so much for having us, Kurapika!” Gon exclaimed, dropping his bag.
“The pleasure is all mine. Settle in and I’ll meet you downstairs.”
Gon took in the surroundings, the room had a neutral, earthen feel with instances of color provided in the decor and embroidered bedspread. He unzipped his sack and plucked his toothbrush and cleanser out, carrying them to the attached bathroom to wash up after a long day of travel. When done, he met with Killua and Alluka in the hallway, and they all went downstairs.
Leorio was waiting with Kurapika at the bottom of the staircase, both grinning with their descent. Gon situated himself at the back of the group as they made their way further into the home, watching Alluka bounce with glee, and the rest of his friends falling into their usual rhythms: Kurapika listening attentively, responding precisely, Killua wearing a smug expression, hands in his pockets, and Leorio emphatically bent over to level with the rest of the group. Upon an antique console table was a framed photo of Kurapika and Leorio, both smiling with Leorio’s hand on Kurapika’s shoulder. Gon smiled along with them, looking ahead to his friends filing into the kitchen, talking animatedly, safe and happy and together.
“Kurapika, it smells great! What are you making?” Gon asked, sniffing the air.
“I have a pilaf in the oven,” he said, tilting his head to the side with a light smile, revealing his dangling red gem earring. “We should be ready to eat in a few minutes.”
A savory, layered scent wafted from the kitchen, swirling inside the empty space within Gon’s stomach. He could discern a blend of herbs, rice, chicken and root vegetables and the longer the scent permeated the air, the more his abdomen rumbled. They all chose drinks to accompany their meal and the minutes dissipated alongside easy chatter. Slipping his hands into mitts, Kurapika pried open the oven, revealing a dish that looked as good as it smelled. The group pulled their plates from the counter, served themselves accordingly before heading to the dining room to eat.
While seated, they first paid their compliments to the chef, each of them pausing to savor the taste after their first bites. They resumed talking about anything; Zodiac activities, diagnoses Leorio has treated, Zoldyck travels and Gon’s expeditions. Most of their days were separate, at times scattered across the world from each other, but together again, it seemed like they had never split. They embraced Alluka’s inclusion, she had been a perfect match for the four of them, and here right now, Gon felt completely whole. His friends were sunbeams breaking through the drudgery of his current life, warming him from within.
The five of them filled the room with talk and laughter, eager to share and learn about their time apart. At one point, after touching upon endless topics, the conversation landed on Bisky.
“She really let us have it,” Leorio groaned, sinking in his seat.
“She had… a unique way of mentoring,” Kurapika commented, a fearful darkness cast over his eyes.
Hanging his head backwards, Leorio whined, “It was like she looked for excuses to beat us up!”
“Yes. A literal iron fist.” Kurapika said calmly, a slight somber edge to his voice.
Killua added, “That hag sent me flying countless times.”
“Big Brother!”
He crossed his arms, rebutting, “She deserves it!”
“You think she’d be as good of a mentor if she wasn’t so rough with us?” Gon wondered aloud, lifting a forkful of food. Although his mind wandered, he carefully chose his words, treading lightly around any subject involving the Black Whale in front of Leorio and Kurapika.
The two of them had not yet delved into the details of their time on the ship, but Gon was not expecting them to, nor would he ever. Gon himself had only spoken at length about the palace invasion a handful of times, and just with Kite, Palm and Killua, all who were present for the mission. Most mentions of East Gorteau to Killua had accompanied an apology, each one a plea for his trust; but every action he took towards Killua was a chance for Gon to prove himself as changed. It felt unnatural, like reading a foreign language for the first time, viewing his own worth through the lens of others.
What he could see now were his best friends surrounding him, delicious food in front of him, all inside of a beautiful home. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much and he had to believe that they were all in this place together for the same reason. Gon would do anything for more moments like this, yet he was well aware that attempting to rush his schooling created an even larger impediment. For these precious hours, he would sit alongside his friends, recounting previous times together and plans for the future.
“She could find a way!” Leorio insisted, referring to Bisky’s harsh methods of training.
“When we met her, she was so nice!” Alluka rang.
“No one’s allowed to be mean to you,” Killua said, petting her head, “but no one would want to anyways. You’re the best.”
Like scholars attending a seminar, everyone nodded their heads in agreement. They poked at their plates, resuming their meal, conversation naturally arising. They wove around different topics, leaving wide holes within certain sections, yet sitting among the people dearest to Gon, everything felt complete. Later, with their plates emptied, talk waning, they collectively cleared the table, each one of them stacking their dishes to bring into the kitchen. They each cycled through tasks to clean the kitchen and dining room, lastly drying and putting the dishes away.
“What do you guys want to do now?” Gon asked, dropping silverware into a drawer.
Kurapika suggested, sliding a cup into a cabinet, “We could play cards.”
Leorio shuddered. “I still can’t see a deck of cards without thinking of Hi—”
The sudden noise of glass rattling against each other prompted Leorio to pause. Killua had ripped open the refrigerator door, his voice distinctly louder than Leorio’s, “You got dessert?”
After a brief silence, Kurapika answered, “Well, we have cocoa and marshmallows.”
“Oh sweet. Thanks,” Killua responded, plucking a carton of milk from the fridge.
Alluka inhaled sharply, shock in her voice. “Will we have enough for camping?!”
“Of course,” Kurapika said amiably with a chuckle, “I planned for your greedy big brother.”
Killua hollered from the counter, “It’s about time you learn!”
Kurapika sighed and shook his head, neither of which acted as any deterrent to Killua raiding his pantry for cocoa powder. Leorio stood behind him, hunched over directing him to the location of the marshmallows, Kurapika snickering across the room. Killua gathered all of the ingredients near the stove, pouring the milk and scooping powder into a pot. Switching on the burner, he stirred the contents and the rest of the group assembled at the kitchen island with mugs and a bag of marshmallows.
Alluka pried open the bag and plopped a marshmallow into her empty cup, shutting her eyes, a doughy smile growing from cheek to cheek.
“If you put one at the bottom of the mug, it gets nice and melty.”
Gon, Kurapika and Leorio exchanged glances and followed her lead, dropping the little puffy confections into their mugs, too.
Killua turned away from the range, wisps of steam rising from the saucepan. “Alluka first because she’s better than all of you,” he declared, grabbing her mug to ladle cocoa into it.
“We can sit in the living room,” Kurapika proposed, cupping his mug between his hands. They trailed behind him, finding their places among the seats. Leorio, Kurapika and Alluka shared a couch while Killua and Gon sat on upholstered chairs, all positioned around a coffee table.
Leorio sat in the middle of the couch, body slanted towards Kurapika, his long arm draped over top of the cushion behind him. Tonight, the pair were talking just to talk, lounging about and exhibiting a lack of urgency still unfamiliar to Gon. There was no faraway country for them to fly to in the morning, no ambition sparked by a terrible tragedy to chase, risking their own lives on the hunt. Right now, they were simply being. Gon’s heart swelled, considering the pair’s achievements, and a whisper at the back of his mind wondered if his own future could be some version of this scene—living in a place his friends could easily access, tucked away in a forest.
The sun had long since set, their conversation lapsed and a yawn ripped from Leorio. Their mugs were all set on the tabletops around them, having been emptied soon after they cooled.
Kurapika told the group, “I think we’re going to call it a night. It’s been a long week.”
“When is it not?” Leorio emphasized, emitting another yawn and stretching his arms into the air.
Shaking his head, Kurapika stood while adding, “Please make yourself at home until you go to bed.”
“I can grab the mugs,” Gon offered, leaning forward to grasp two.
Killua rose next. “Alluka and I can stay behind and straighten up the room. Goodnight, guys. Thank you.”
“Goodnight!” Repeated Alluka. She shared hugs with Leorio and Kurapika, Killua waved to them, and Gon went with the two men to the kitchen to clean the used dishes. Kurapika tidied the room, and Gon could not recall if Leorio had volunteered for anything.
“Goodnight, Gon,” Gon heard Kurapika say as he ran a mug under the faucet.
He turned off the water and looked behind him. “Goodnight! Oh,” he uttered, rolling his hands around inside a towel, “can we use your fire pit?”
“Of course,” he replied warmly, “Thank you for your help.”
“See you in the morning,” Leorio added, standing next to Kurapika at the far end of the kitchen.
“Thank you, this has been really great.” He shared a sincere smile with the two of them before ejecting one last, “Goodnight!”
Turning off the light, he left the room and strolled deeper into the house, grabbing his jacket in the foyer. He made his way back to Killua and Alluka, illumination from the grand living room trickling into the corridor. He again took in the careful touches around the home: a fine vase upon an antique console table, a painting of wildflowers, all thoughtfully chosen and positioned. Looking down a hallway, Gon saw Kurapika and Leorio stepping into a room together, Leorio’s hand on the small of the others’ back, his nose touching Kurapika’s hair.
Wait. What?
Leorio only brought his briefcase for the whole weekend. He had personal access to the property. The framed photo of just the two of them. The way he and Kurapika were sitting on the couch.
“O—oh! ” Gon blurted, as if out of his control.
The blonde turned quickly upon hearing the utterance. “Gon!” He stepped back from Leorio. “This isn’t very subtle of us…”
“Kurapika, it’s your house,” Leorio scolded, shoulders raising, “You can do whatever you want!”
“At least one of us is concerned with decency,” he retorted, crossing his arms.
Gon interrupted, “Were you going to tell us?!”
“We… kind of assumed our friends knew,” Kurapika replied.
A shout of ‘You’re just dense!’ came from down the hall. Despite a vein throbbing in his forehead, Gon chose to ignore Killua’s mocking. Gon’s demeanor softened, the realization having been further absorbed: two of his best friends finding love in each other. He hoped they would never be alone.
“That’s really great, guys!” He exclaimed, grinning at them with all of his teeth.
Leorio and Kurapika exchanged glances before Kurapika replied, “We’re glad you think so.”
They smiled back softly before repeating their goodnights and turning away from each other. Gon padded down the hallway towards the living room, the corridor seemed to wobble as he put one foot in front of the other, each wall swaying independently. Kurapika and Leorio, in a relationship, living together, sharing a room, but there was no reason it should have any affect on him. In his short 16 years of life, Gon had witnessed things beyond his time; death, suffering, sacrifice, but he never had a model for or experience with love. He never knew his own parents growing up, he would still refuse any information about his biological mother, and although he loved his friends and his guardians, he had barely encountered the kind of love where you hold each other close and shut the door behind you.
He paused, sucked in a deep breath through his nose, the air giving him enough weight to return to his own body, and continued forward. With each step, he imagined squashing the persistent cycle of thoughts and questions arising, such as, ‘They’re both men,’ and, 'Have other couples met through the Hunter exam?’ None of it was relevant, he told himself.
“Hey guys,” Gon greeted once he passed the threshold into the living room, smiling at the sight of Killua and Alluka.
“Hi,” Alluka sang, the syllable quickly turning into a yawn. She rubbed a fist over her eye. “I'm sleepy.”
“I’ll walk you to the room,” Killua offered, holding out his hand for Alluka to grab. He led her away a few steps before looking behind him, his face tinged with blush.
“Be back soon,” Killua said. Their eyes caught and Killua immediately whipped his head back around. Gon’s heart leapt and the crown of his scalp heated with the sight of Killua’s blue gaze etched into his mind. Shifting from his heels to his toes, he could hear Alluka’s ascent up the stairs, while he awaited Killua’s return. Gon went to lower the overhead lights, flipping every switch on multiple panels around the room to find an acceptable balance.
With the indoor lighting lower, Gon could see the backyard more clearly, the round brick fire pit rising from the stone patio. Tonight, it was reserved for him and Killua, and just imagining the two of them in the night alone under a blanket of stars was enough to make his pulse speed up. He swallowed hard. He was still staring out the glass sliding door into the backyard when Killua reappeared behind him, his voice being the only indication of his return.
“You ready to go?” Killua asked cooly, slowly walking up to him.
“Yeah!” Gon confirmed, dragging the door open. He turned off the lights inside before informing Killua, “Firewood’s out by the driveway.”
“It’s nice when we don’t have to do all the work ourselves,” Killua mentioned as they stepped outside, heading towards the stash of pre-chopped wood.
“It has been a long day,” Gon said, stretching his arms out then dropping them with a soft grunt.
Killua looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “And yet this was your idea.”
“I don’t want to miss our chance to do this together.”
It came out so naturally. The words he used were the same as when they were younger, but they felt denser on his tongue, as if they now had more meaning. Killua disparaged him, questioning his mental state, and as they filled their arms with logs, Gon simply chuckled.
They walked back to the fire pit, and with the air quiet between them, Gon could not resist asking, “Did you know?"
“Know what?”
“About, uh, Kurapika and Leorio.”
“Yeah, I could see the signs. Lovers were a common trend in assassination jobs,” Killua answered, pointing his face away from Gon.
Gon’s eyes locked onto Killua. “Lovers?” Blood rushed to his face, his ears burning as if they were releasing steam.
“I don’t know the details!” Killua’s voice became louder and sharper and he motioned with his hands, “There's something romantic going on between them. I don’t pry!” He groaned and much more quietly, commented, “Besides, you’re the one who’s supposed to be experienced with this stuff.”
“Huh?” Killua should know he was not the least bit experienced with romance! They did talk about dating years ago, but Gon considers outings with Aunt Mito dates! “The women passing through Whale Island? It was never serious with them. This seems more, well…”
Killua straightened up, and after walking a few more steps, mumbled, “Do you think it’s weird?”
“No!” Gon quickly responded. “Of course not, I’m happy for them! I just… wasn’t expecting it. It's not like much is going to change. I don’t know why I’m so surprised.” He shrugged, looking around as if the reason was within view.
“Well, they’ve always acted like an old married couple,” Killua lifted his chin. “But… It caught me off guard too. I knew they were close, but…”
They both made respective grunts as if to say, ‘We’re done talking about this.’ Approaching the pit, they dropped their logs to set up the campfire.
He and Killua had never gone into much detail about things like love or romance, and Gon was not even sure if he could yet have a productive conversation about such topics. The women he dated at home taught him the art of courting but he never felt an emotional bond with them. The same with Palm, yet it was nothing against her; she was beautiful, smart and interesting, but he did not feel nearly the same connection with her as he did—
“You’re thinking loudly,” Killua mentioned, stacking another log inside of the brick-rimmed pit.
“Sorry,” Gon said monotonously, blinking a few times and returning to the present. He turned his head slowly towards Killua. “Have you met anyone on your travels that you liked?”
Killua scratched the side of his head and released a harsh groan. “What kind of question is that? I’m doing this for Alluka and Nanika. I want them to experience the world, I’m just there to show them around.”
Gon pulled a book of matches out of his pocket, struck one, and threw it on a pile of kindling atop the wood. A hungry orange flame consumed the debris and fused onto the corner of a log, spreading and growing with each passing second.
“I’m glad this includes showing them around,” Gon mentioned. He hesitated for an instant before looking at Killua.
“As long as they’re happy.” Killua cleared his throat before affirming, “And, yeah, me too.”
Gon drew out a full breath. “So is that a no…?” He prodded.
Killua reactively pushed back his hair. “Shut up! Of course it’s a no!”
Gon smiled with all of his teeth, changing the subject while Killua simmered beside him. They discussed the city, the past year, Killua’s sisters and Kurapika’s house, and Gon recalled a moment from when they were all in the kitchen earlier.
“Wait, Killua.” He twisted his trunk, facing him head on. “Alluka doesn’t know about Hisoka?”
“Why would I talk about him?” He asked incredulously. “He’s not exactly a fun topic.”
Shrugging, he suggested, “He can’t be the only thing you keep from her.”
“What am I supposed to tell her? That I’ve stabbed people straight through with my bare hands?!”
Gon leaned forward, scrunching his brow together. “Well, haven't you?”
“That’s not the point!” Killua huffed, clutching his forehead.
Gon gave him an austere expression. “I know that part of you and I stuck around.” Killua turned away and Gon bent towards him, unrelenting.
“Yeah, but you’re not right in the head,” Killua grumbled.
“Killua.”
“What?” He said louder.
“It’s her family and friends.”
“I want her to forget about the Zoldycks.” His hands erratically sliced through the air in front of him. “She was too young to remember why they put her in a vault in the first place. It's fine. This is fine.”
“You’re lying to her.”
“What about you and Aunt Mito?!” He hissed.
Gon puffed a breath out of his nostrils. “I wanted to tell her about being a Hunter but she asked me to spare her the details.” He tilted back, adjusting himself in his chair. “It hurts sometimes, hiding a big part of myself from her, but I tried.”
Pulling a leg towards his chest, Killua rested his arm limply on his knee. Seconds passed before he told the ground, “You just can’t shut your mouth…”
“Ki-llua!”
“But there’s never any doubt of what you’re thinking,” he said exasperatedly, flinging his head back, touching both feet on the ground. “As an assassin, I’ve taken so many lives without hesitation. But when it comes to Alluka and Nanika, I’m always questioning if I’m doing the right thing by them.”
“Just by saying that, you’re an amazing big brother.”
“I’m… really worried about what her reaction will be.” His chin dropped to his chest. “Before my parents locked her up, she did some things that were completely out of her control—she hurt people. Badly.”
Gon steadily released a breath of air, touching a finger under his bottom lip. Since Killua was being so vague about the subject, it probably meant Alluka had killed someone. But if she did not mean to, she must have been used for her power, and she was not at fault.
“Hm.” Gon crossed his arms purposefully. “If she feels guilty, just remind her she’s already been locked away most of her life.”
Something he said made Killua frown, and although he groaned audibly, Gon had more to say, “And it’s probably best that you, someone she trusts, tells her. Whatever happened doesn’t define her. We aren’t our pasts or mistakes, and you know that more than anyone.”
Killua cast his eyes away and quietly added, “I hope you know it, too.”
Gradually, unconsciously, they had twisted towards each other. They sat crooked in their chairs so their knees were almost touching, Killua looking in his lap, a blush visible on his face in the firelight. His gaze flicked up to Gon, then right back down as if he were caught looking. A floating sensation rising in his stomach, Gon found himself staring at Killua’s chin, his pulse sprinting. He adjusted his spine, reeling himself in, resisting the urge to lean forward and meet Killua’s face with his own, considering he was not anywhere near brave enough to imagine what could happen next.
Sucking in air, his heart sprinting, Gon honed a shred of courage and scooted his chair closer to Killua’s. This was not the same intoxicating thrill he felt diving into a predator’s lair or confronting enemies multiple times his age in battle, he thought as he extended out his arm. The stakes were higher; he could live with or heal from any injury, but there was no way he could continue if he hurt Killua again. A faint numbness spread throughout his body as blood rushed to his head, and his hand landed at the base of Killua’s neck.
Subtly, as if only a suggestion, he applied pressure to his fingertips, silently directing Killua towards him. A long quiet huff later, Killua relented and perched his head atop Gon’s shoulder, shifting in his seat, pivoting closer to him. They stared at the fire, not saying a word, Gon trying to temper his heart rate with steady deep breaths, his focus deteriorating as he felt the rhythmic rise and fall of Killua’s chest.
Killua moved ever so slightly as he breathed, and when his hair tickled Gon’s neck, Gon was positive his insides would melt. This was the only place in the world. The fire was perfect, a million stars hung overhead, Killua was leaning on him and nothing else mattered. He shut his eyes, slowly filling his lungs. This was all he needed.
As if a thick shadow had fallen upon him, warmth dissipated from his skin. Gon felt Killua stand, leaving his side, and his eyes flitting open, he could see him standing in front of his chair, his head dipped.
“Sorry,” reached Gon’s ears. Seconds ticked by. He held his breath.
Suddenly, Killua arched his back and yawned dramatically, spinning around on his heel. “I was falling asleep!”
Gon blinked twice, his brow raising. “Y-yeah, me too.”
Killua grabbed a shovel and used it to chop up the burning logs in the pit, turning them to bits of ash. Only when the static cleared from Gon’s head did the words form in his mind, ‘What just happened?’
He left his seat and dragged it back to its original position before grabbing the unused logs. As he went to return the extra firewood, his chest clenched with uncertainty—was he too forward? Did he make Killua uncomfortable? Killua was frequently uncomfortable, but was he too uncomfortable? Killua was an expert at concealing his true thoughts, Gon reminded himself, slinking to the back door. After Gon’s revival, he vowed he would be more attentive to Killua, but there was only so much he could infer with Killua being so guarded. He could only conclude to be gentle in all of his advances, patiently offering quiet hints of his affection until he received an answer.
If Gon did manage to ever be with Killua, how could he possibly know what shape they would take together? The prospect of an unpredictable adventure used to make his heart race with excitement, but now, that feeling floated upon a deep reservoir of anxiety. He had spent these past two years making efforts for Killua to trust him again, but he had yet to think about if he trusted himself with Killua. With Killua’s heart in his hands, Gon could make the same mistakes with him again, allowing his own emotions to cloud his judgment, completely obscuring Killua’s needs.
They met at the back door, Killua voicing, “Ready to go in?” He was still projecting a forced enthusiasm, his disposition fitting jaggedly among the calm atmosphere around them and the sloshing apprehension within Gon.
“Yeah, I am. Except I might not be able to remember where my room is in this mansion…” he finished, scratching his cheek with his pointer finger.
Killua lifted his hands in front of his chest and wiggled his fingers independently. “You’re doomed to wander the halls in obscurity.” He snickered to himself while Gon whined.
“What does that mean!?”
“Just don’t wake up Alluka,” Killua said, sliding open the glass door.
With the door fully ajar, before Killua stepped ahead, Gon slipped around him, bolting into the darkness of the home and teasing back, “Don’t worry, I’ll only haunt you.”
Gon flawlessly dodged around furniture and other obstacles, able to see clearly despite the lack of light indoors. He could not remember exactly which door led to his room, but he knew all of the guest rooms were upstairs, and there was only one staircase, closer to the front of the house. All he had to do was reach the top of the stairs before Killua—he had the speed advantage, but Gon had the sight advantage, and Killua might be more cautious traversing a friend’s home in the dark.
Killua’s footsteps followed him silently, at least Gon expected, as he still traveled with the soundless gait of a trained assassin. Gon zipped up the stairs, gulping for air at the landing, yet standing perfectly still, back pressed up against the wall. Killua saw him instantly upon climbing the stairs, mitigating Gon’s attack, and with Killua hurling whispered insults, the two of them wrestled noiselessly upon the wood floor. Killua poked and prodded at Gon in defense, but it was all worth it, getting to witness his sharp cat eyes and wrapping his arms around him once more before the night ended.
---
Gon awoke with the sun, staying in his room with the door slightly ajar until he heard stirring elsewhere in the house. The morning was spent gathering supplies and packing for their camping trip; Kurapika owned a large parcel of forested land behind his home, with a trail carved through it. The group would take the trail to a nearby stream and stay for two nights. There were two tents among the five of them, and everyone agreed that Leorio and Kurapika should have their own. Kurapika, his brow pinched crookedly, seemed only slightly embarrassed by the decision.
“Okay,” Leorio announced, pulling out a list, “Who’s got the lanterns?”
“We do!” Replied Alluka.
“Grill rack?”
Gon raised his hand. “Me!”
“I have the first aid kit,” Leorio declared, checking each item off individually down one column on his sheet of camping essentials—he would check off the opposite column before heading home.
“Can we go now, ya nerd?” Killua asked.
“You’ll be thanking me when you don’t leave anything behind in the woods!”
“We’ve been traveling for two years, you don’t think everything I own hasn’t been lost or stolen by now?” He crossed his arms. “I’ll just buy a new one.”
“Well you don’t watch your stuff very well, Big Brother,” Alluka accused.
Killua’s eyes slitted open, as if to check anyone’s reaction to her comment.
“Okay, tent one.” Leorio continued, lifting his pad of paper.
“I have it,” answered Kurapika.
Leorio confirmed the last item, and they left Kurapika’s home from a door across the hall of his garage, which led into the backyard. Kurapika and Leorio walked ahead, next to each other, as the trail comfortably accommodated two hikers positioned side to side. Alluka and Killua went next, with Gon in the back. The trail was carved out of a thicket of forest, branches from trees on either side of the path blocking out the bright sky overhead. Their route was clear, seemingly maintained regularly, barely any foliage or debris they had to step around or over.
It was a smooth and easy journey, no noticeable elevation or descent throughout. As they proceeded, Gon’s ears pricked with the sound of a familiar trill. It was soft yet firm, coming from above him within the branches. He paused his stride to confirm—the rest of the group strolled ahead while he listened for another moment.
It was Killua who turned around to check, “You decided to stay behind?” He probably sensed Gon trailing, but not the rustle in the branches. Gon softly touched the back of his ear, the rest of the group stopping to look at him.
Gon broke the silence, saying, “An Anorkan Grub-Eater.”
A flash of yellow burst from the canopy, flying across the trail back into the trees like a bright spectre. Muffled calls followed its departure, eventually becoming indistinct from the other wild noises.
“It’s looking for food.” Gon explained in a low tone.
Alluka’s face brightened with curiosity. She requested, excitement breaking through cracks in her soft tone, “Can we find it?”
“I watched a documentary on these guys!” Leorio announced quietly, crouching like he was about to stalk. “I know what to do.”
“On these specific birds?” Kurapika asked, unconvinced.
“Okay… Maybe a scene.” Kurapika stepped ahead, Leorio’s tone becoming increasingly desperate, “A mention.”
Gon crept forward silently, explaining, “They’re skittish, but they’re distracted because they’re hungry. They’re eating all they can before the cold sets in. Just move slowly so they’re less likely to notice you.” He looked back at Alluka and smiled. Her eyes widened and she nodded quickly to confirm her understanding, and Leorio did the same. Gonslipped off his pack, lowered it softly to the ground, and the rest of the group echoed his motions.
“And most importantly, make sure you breathe very slowly. Calm breath means a calm body.” He smiled at Alluka and noticed Killua’s visible adoration towards his sister. Gon’s face heated and he swiftly whipped back around, avoiding anyone’s eyesight. He pointed ahead, following his ears to an ambiguous spot deeper into the woods.
The trees around them were sturdy and mature, strong branches hanging high above their heads. Saplings stood around them, smooth flat leaves grazing his skin as he passed by. Gon quietly shared some information on the bird to Alluka while they proceeded, like its migration patterns and appearance. The ground, blanketed in dewey brown leaves, began to slope upwards the farther they moved from the path. Trees grew sparsely up the incline, and they could see the top of the hill from where they stood.
Scanning the branches, Gon spotted a streak of yellow, but Killua uttered first, “I see one.”
Kurapika whispered next, “There’s another.”
Alluka’s head jerked between both of them, desperation wrinkling her brow.
“Up there.” Killua pointed with a whisper, directing Alluka’s sight high up the branches of a tree atop the rise.
Alluka put both hands in front of her mouth, her eyes glistening upon spotting the small creatures. Killua tapped his smiling lips with his pointer finger, wordlessly signaling for her to remain quiet, yet pleased with her reaction. He was behaving like a schoolboy, aware of the rules but delighted to break them. Suppressing her voice, Alluka lowered her arms, visceral wonder upon her face. Killua’s expression softened, watching her as if one would watch their own child, and Gon could feel his own insides melting the longer he looked at him. He glanced at the ground, his eyelids heavy, and raised his gaze to the trees.
In total, he counted five small birds, latched on to the tall trunks, their yellow bellies against the wood. Their backs were a dusty gray, and he whispered to Alluka that their beaks were long and pointed to pry away bark to reach the morsels underneath. The animals hopped in circles around the tree trunks, flitting from one to the other, locating sections to eat. They chirped as they ate, a sound somewhere in the middle of a melody and a call, each one at a different tempo and pitch, their voices weaving around and layering with one another. Gon was transfixed, hyper conscious of the position of his body and movement of his breath, staying absolutely silent and still.
All at once, as if rehearsed, the animals scattered and time resumed again. Gon looked over at his friends, Alluka was still catatonic with elation, and Kurapika and Leorio shared a fond glance, Leorio removing his hand from the other’s shoulder. Returning to the trail, they were all vocally in awe of the collection of little creatures, Alluka squealing about how cute they were and Killua patting her head, praising her on her behavior.
Witnessing the birds was enchanting, Gon thought, the chance that they would encounter so many in one place, hearing them sing together, seeing the bliss upon Killua’s face. His heart quickened again and he blinked hard, inhaling deeply before refocusing on the rest of his friends. They continued talking about the birds, pointing out every noise and sight in the trees and comparing them to the Grub Eaters. It did not take long for Gon to once more tip his chin up, noticing a change in their environment ahead.
“Kurapika, is that the river?” Gon inquired. He could hear the faint swishing of a modest current in the distance, not too wide nor deep.
“Yes it is,” he replied, glimpsing over his shoulder, “We have just a couple more minutes of walking.”
Gon trotted forward swiftly to catch up, placing himself right behind Killua.
Killua, twisting around, nudged him. “How do you do that, you dog?” He accused.
Gon chuckled through his teeth. “I can just hear better than you.”
“Not even jealous. You’re feral.”
Gon stuck his tongue out and Killua spun his head back around, obstructing Gon from the rest of the group. While they proceeded, Killua put his arm around Alluka’s shoulder, his attention devoted to her, and Gon was quick to remind himself that he was second to Alluka and always would be—but at least he had a place on Killua’s list. Second was not so bad.
The tree line on either side of them expanded, wrapping around a clear cove with a stone rimmed fire pit in the middle. A log bench and three stools were positioned around the pit, and the forest funneled off at the opposite end of the clearing. Kurapika had told them he chose this location for the campsite due to it being slightly higher elevation. The river was just a few meters ahead down a winding path. They all dropped their bags, immediately unzipping them to set up the grounds for their stay.
“Pika and I are going to cut firewood,” Leorio told the group, alternating swinging his arms. Kurapika stood next to him, the head of an ax resting on his shoulder.
“I’ll grab sticks and brush for kindling!” Gon offered.
Killua muttered, “You are a dog…”
Alluka jabbed her brother with her elbow before announcing, “I’ll go with Gon!”
“Alright.” Kurapika acknowledged, nodding once. “Killua, a third would help us greatly.”
“Yeah, I got ya,” he responded, approaching Kurapika and Leorio while rubbing the side of his head.
The two groups went in opposite directions so as to not obstruct each others’ work. Gon led Alluka into the thicket and hunching over, they scanned the forest floor for material.
“Being out here reminds me of Whale Island, Gon! How are Aunt Mito and Grandma Abe doing?”
“They’re great! Same routine but all the visitors keep things interesting. They’re both glad I’m home…” Gon glanced to the side wistfully before looking back to Alluka. “They really cherish your letters.”
Alluka’s expression softened to mush, mouth stretching wide, eyes forming curved lines. She giggled airily, exclaiming, “That makes me so happy!”
Gon watched her laugh, touched by the bond between Alluka and Aunt Mito. For all Gon knew, Aunt Mito never planned on becoming a mother herself, but having a child in her life that was more aligned with her values had to be nice. Perhaps, even if she did not realize it, she thought her influence could steer one kid away from the path of the Hunter.
“I want to write more, but Big Brother has a lot of rules so no one finds us,” she explained, disappointment reluctantly peeking out of her voice.
“Well, if I’ve learned anything, things can change fast. I bet it’ll be soon when you can stay with us even longer,” Gon reassured.
“I hope so! And I wish we could have you over!” She swished the twigs in her hand through the air. “But my family’s not really nice besides Big Brother.”
“Don’t worry Alluka, I’ve been there before!”
“Like on a tour?”
“Well, it started off that way. But before Killua could get you out, someone had to get him out! Leorio and Kurapika helped me. Canary, too.” Gon grinned, reminiscing the trials they faced on Kukuroo Mountain, the sheer absurdity of the rules and intensity of pain he endured, all making him stronger in the end. “And if I’m being honest, I’d want to visit the grounds and the butler’s quarters again, but not your house.”
“Same. I’m so happy I have Big Brother.” She blinked a few times, as if contemplating her next words. “You care about him a lot too, don’t you?”
Gon flinched slightly, then let out a long breath of air, a deep feeling of comfort flowing through him like a warm ocean breeze while he pondered the thought of him.
“Yeah, I do,” he said, swiveling away from Alluka. He suddenly felt bashful, his throat too tight to say any more.
Gon heard Nanika’s gritty laughter as she swayed and cheered, ‘Ki-llu-ah’ in three syllables. He stifled a laugh of his own and ducked his head, heat still pooling in his cheeks.
“I know what you mean, Nanika,” he said, patting the back of her head.
“Gon save Killua!” Nanika continued.
“What!?” He touched the fingertips of his hand to his sternum. “You and Killua saved me—Gon!”
After the battle with Pitou, Killua’s actions were enough to convince Gon he was deserving of a place in this world. Ging left him, the majority of people Gon met on Whale Island left after only a few days, and time after time, every foe he met, it was proven just how weak he was; but even if Gon felt his life was dispensable, there were people dear to him who would kill him for throwing it away. Gon could barely comprehend that someone so amazing, someone he was so grateful to know, cared about him deeply, too.
“And I’ll never forget that. I owe you big time,” Gon uttered, bending over to pick up a dry curled scrap of bark.
He rose and saw Nanika standing still, a black smile carved above her chin, clutching a bundle of sticks between both hands as if she were clutching a bouquet.
“Even.” She skipped and leaned forward to grab another small branch. Gon smiled to himself, hearing her chant, ‘Stick, stick’ with each one she acquired. He would not argue, but he would continue to provide everything he could for his friends, as it would take an eternity to show his gratitude, even for simple gatherings like this.
Gon and Nanika returned to the campsite and dropped a portion of their twigs and scraps in a pile away from the fire pit, Gon keeping a handful to weave a bundle of kindling. Moments later, Killua appeared in the clearing, holding a stack of firewood in front of him. Gon glanced over to his approach, his eyes following from the logs to the sheen of sweat on Killua’s chest to his face. He coughed a single time inside of his mouth.
“Hey guys,” Killua greeted, jerking his head to the side to remove his hair from his eyes. “Hi Nanika! It’s nice to see you!”
“Killua!” Nanika trotted over to her brother, stopping expectantly in front of him.
“One moment, Nanika. I just need to set this up,” he explained warmly, lowering the logs to the ground. As he stacked up the logs, Kurapika and Leorio entered the campsite, carrying their own supplies of wood. Killua having finished, he stood, brushing his palms on his shorts. Nanika stared at him with her pitch black pits and smile, her eyes shrinking closed as Killua petted her hair.
“Good job, Nanika. You’re the best help.”
With Kurapika and Leorio present, the group agreed to prop up their tents at once, placing the openings perpendicular to one another. The shelters went up easily, and while Leorio and Killua were loading supplies inside of them, Gon built a bonfire. Kurapika, thanking Gon, unfolded the camping grill over the logs, balancing it over the stone rim of the pit in preparation for their meal later.
“Alright, Pika, the tent's ready!” Leorio emerged from their shelter, having changed into a button down shirt adorned with a large floral pattern and bandana across his forehead. In the next instant, he was seated on the log bench, hand gripping a beer can, other hand pinching the tab. He snapped the top and sipped loudly, leaning back, noisily exerting his satisfaction.
Kurapika sighed at length, yet a smile tugged at his lips. He muttered a conceding remark about Leorio having done his part, and before heading to their supplies, asked the group, “Could one of you who’s not Leorio start the fire?”
“I have matches in my bag,” Gon said, starting towards his pack.
Killua bent down, placing the kindling atop of the stack of wood. “No need, I got this.”
One hand in his pocket, he transmuted a thread of lightning in between his free pointer finger and thumb, then touched the spark to the fibers, which ignited immediately. Gon blinked in awe; he had not seen Killua use nen in years. He had almost forgotten how effortless it was for him to employ his Hatsu, no charge up necessary before each implementation. Straining his memory, he could not recall the last time he saw someone use nen—even when he did field research with Kite and their crew, they never encountered any major threat.
The wood crackled as the fire spread, small flames flitting into the air above. Gon dropped himself on a stump, acutely aware of all the aura leaking from his skin. He could not feel or sense it, but he knew of the waste from the absence of Ten’s dense warmth enveloping him. His stomach sank with the realization he had been without Nen for longer than he had it. His tenure as a Hunter had been a supernova: a violent, fatal explosion of power, then quiet.
Kurapika arrived at the fire with a small soft cooler. Tomorrow, Gon promised to catch them dinner from the river, but for their upcoming meal, they were eating meat skewers. Kurapika had prepared them in the morning to marinate, and earlier, he explained the original recipe would have been made with a combination of ingredients cultivated in his home forest and some bought or traded from the nearby village.
Once the fire was hot enough, Kurapika meticulously brushed oil over the grill, leaving behind a slick sheen on the metal. He pulled the skewers from a container, placed them onto the grates, instantly entrancing Gon with sounds of sharp sizzling and rich aromas of shade grown herbs. Gon observed the meat dripping a yogurt coating into the fire before congealing, browning, then charring, with Kurapika flipping and moving them for a perfectly even cooked consistency throughout.
Plating the skewers, Kurapika first passed one to Alluka, taking his seat next to Leorio after everyone else received their meal. Fluttering his knees in excitement, Leorio wrapped his arm around Kurapika’s shoulder and pulled him into his chest, all while congratulating him at how great everything looked. Kurapika feigned exasperation, rolling his eyes, then pressed his cheek against Leorio’s sternum before releasing himself, straightening up to eat.
Gon’s eyes widened at their interaction, remembering Killua’s assessment of them being lovers, and he avoided facing Killua until his face cooled. Was it as easy as Kurapika and Leorio made it look, Gon wondered. Imagining replicating the couple made his throat dry up as if he had just sprinted through the forest. If only he could just be a little closer to Killua, he thought, his gaze landing on him from around the fire. He quickly bit into a piece of meat to distract himself from the thought, an explosion of savory and sour filling his senses. If Kurapika cooked like this often, Leorio was lucky.
They all chatted during their meal, and each one approached their skewer differently. Kurapika latched on to a piece of meat in the middle of his stick, sliding it up with his teeth, before taking a bite. Leorio chomped on a morsel, and with his plate sitting next to him, the rest of the chunk fell in his lap. Gon and the Zoldycks could not stifle their laughter.
“Hey, respect your elders!” Leorio demanded. He sighed, plucking the piece of food from atop his thigh and popping it into his mouth. Grumbling, he lowered one arm to his seat, his limb sinking into a teal-rimmed pit of aura and came out holding a new beer.
“Is that really the best use of your Nen?” Kurapika chided.
“I have a question!” Alluka announced, standing from her seat. “If you all had different types of Nen, what would you want your ability to be?”
A different Nen affinity. Gon had barely considered what his Hatsu would be if he could use Nen as an Enhancer again. It was just one of those things that would happen at the right time.
“Not many Hunters are open about that kind of thing, Alluka,” Killua responded lightly, a sympathetic expression on his face.
“Well no one’s around but us, right?”
“Some people can use their Nen to read minds,” Leorio mentioned, shrugging. They had encountered at least one person on their journies together who could do so.
Alluka bunched her fists under her chin, “This could be a way to trick them!”
Kurapika let out a gentle laugh before asking, “How would you and Nanika’s ability change?”
Alluka, unresponsive, looked at the ground. Silence fell upon the group, the air around them still. Gon’s chest seized, eyes fixed on Alluka, waiting for a clue to her reaction. Her eyes drifted upwards, tears threatening to spill out.
“But Nanika and I are different.” A breeze rustled the leaves above them, and besides the shimmering static, Gon could only hear his own heartbeat. He refused to speak, deferring to Killua to say the first word.
Alluka slowly gathered her hands in front of her chest, locking her fingers together. “Nanika is her own person. I wish people knew her better, but she’s so shy…”
“I’m… sorry, Alluka,” Kurapika hung his head, and Leorio placed a hand on his back. “I misspoke.”
“No, Kurapika, it’s okay,” she stepped over to him. “It’s hard because she’s a secret to everyone else, but I want you all to know she’s so nice and she’s always been there for me.”
Assuming Alluka received minimal or no outside contact for the better part of a decade, Nanika was the only person with whom she could communicate. Cruelty was not limited towards any one Zoldyck child.
“Can we ask Nanika some questions?” Kurapika inquired, breaking Gon’s line of thought. They all grinned towards Alluka, eager but free of pressure.
She interlocked her fingers and pointed her chin down, seemingly shy. “Yeah.”
“Who wants to start?” Kurapika offered, scanning the group.
Gon rocked in his seat and spouted, “What’s Nanika’s favorite food?”
Alluka shut her eyes and Nanika appeared. Her head tilted mechanically, chugging with the movement as she pondered her answer. They sat at attention, patiently anticipating her response.
“Hehe… cake!” She answered in her elevated, baby-like voice. The rest of the group all smiled and chuckled along with her.
“What’s your favorite color, Nanika?” Kurapika continued.
“Pink! Or—purple…”
“Both are good,” Kurapika assured warmly.
“What does she want to be when she grows up?” Leorio inquired.
Nanika laughed clumsily. “Umm… I dunno.”
“Maybe uhh… Baker! To make cakes!” Leorio suggested.
“Maybe.” She swayed and sat back down in her seat, leaning over and latching onto Killua’s arm. She nuzzled her face into his shoulder and he stroked her thick hair, offering sweet words about how good she was responding to their questions.
Their group had more questions for Nanika, and she ended up squeezed between Kurapika and Leorio in a fit of laughter. Killua advised that Nanika was probably tired from all the action, and asked if she was ready to go back to sleep. Nanika agreed, nodding with a yawn. She closed her eyes, keeping them closed for an extended pause, and Killua stayed looking at her with reverence. Finally, Alluka opened her eyes, bashfully looking towards the grass with her hands together.
Head low, reluctantly glancing up, she mentioned, “Kurapika… Maybe Nanika is my superpower.”
“She’s a part of you, and you of her. That will never change.” He nodded slowly with his reply. “I think that’s incredible.”
Alluka giggled, continuing, “And she’s so cool she doesn’t even need to use her power for me to love her!” She stretched out her arms and crossed them over her body as if to hug Nanika.
“I agree,” Kurapika said.
“Me too,” followed Killua.
Gon and Leorio shared their approval and Alluka latched herself onto Kurapika. He leaned to the side, his eyes widening, then gradually straightened, placing his hands on Alluka’s back and patting her lightly.
“Gon!” She called with her arms still around Kurapika. “You should start thinking about your ability for when you get your Nen back, so you and Big Brother can play again!” Gon’s heart skipped at the notion of his power returning and he heaved a deep sigh. There was no reason to avoid discussing his loss of Nen—it was a sacrifice he made and had to live with.
“I have thought about it a little,” he declared, dropping his fist into his palm. In his personal essays for school, he would never include the granular details of a brawl, but he wrote them down separately for his own review and imagination. Admittedly, he also ruminated on how he could aid Killua in battle with his potential skill. Through his pause, the rest of the group around him waited intently for his reveal.
“And… I will decide in the moment.”
They all hung their heads limply, vocalizing their disapproval and confusion. Gon rubbed his neck in response, laughing uncomfortably. They finished their meals and stacked their plates to bring to the river, along with blankets. After cleaning their plates in the current, they spread out their coverings, sitting by the water and chatting until the moon hung high over them. Gon’s heart was impossibly full, and he knew he was testing its limits when he slid onto his bed roll next to Killua. He drifted off, enveloped by the harmony of chirps and hoots from the forest, alongside the slightest sleeping breaths of the boy at his side.
In the morning, Gon slunk out of the tent, quiet enough so that Alluka did not stir. He stacked logs in the stone pit to start a fire for breakfast, and sat on a stool in front of the flame meditating, peeking an eye open when he heard shuffling from Kurapika and Leorio’s tent. There was some soft back and forth muttering between them, then after the shrill unzipping of their door, Leorio’s leg extended from the opening, followed by the rest of him lurching out. He stood, growing taller than the roof of the tent, his hand on his hips, stretching back with a huge groan.
“Keep it down out there!” Killua hissed from inside of his shelter.
“Good morning to you, too!” He replied in the direction of the disembodied voice, a yawn ripping through him as he scratched his stomach. “Hey Gon.”
“Hey Leorio!”
“Thanks for the fire,” he mumbled, reaching back into the tent and grabbing a bag before zipping it back shut. “Rough night.”
Gon just smiled as Leorio shuffled over to the pit—the former was the only one of their group to consume alcohol last night. Leorio pulled out a kettle and a pan from the sack, carefully lowering the grill over the flames. He started first heating water in the pot, then stirring it with some instant coffee in a mug. The more he sipped, he gradually reanimated, his eyes lifting higher and his limbs moving faster.
He stood over the fire, cracking eggs directly on to the pan. “Two eggs, Pika?” He called over his shoulder.
“Yes, please!”
“Kurapika is a better cook than me with most things, but no one beats my breakfast!” Leorio declared, flourishing his spatula in front of him.
Gon grinned big, asking, “Two for me too, please!”
The rest of the group filed out of their tents with the smell of food cooking over the fire. Leorio presented Kurapika with a mug of coffee, planting a kiss on the blonde’s cheek as he took it. Gon blinked while Killua jeered for them to get a room, Kurapika countering that he forgot there were children around. Alluka, still groggy, her hair in all directions, rubbed her eyes as she sat waiting with her plate on her lap, her other hand loosely holding Killua’s.
There was water at the campsite for them to scrub their plates, and they spent the rest of the morning sunbathing or birdwatching or throwing a frisbee, Killua holding Gon back by squeezing his face in one hand, resisting while Gon tried to take the disk from him. After lunch, Gon inspected the contents of his fishing pack, suspecting he would need to cast for a few hours in order to catch enough to satiate everyone. The water did not seem too active while they sat at the river last night, Gon hearing only a few instances of fish feeding on insects hovering above the river.
His friends cycled by accompanying him at the riverbank. They would all be together, then Killua would take Alluka to make a snack, Leorio would say he was grabbing something at the campsite and end up napping in his tent, and Kurapika would need to get another book or wake up Leorio. Gon got a chance to explain some fishing tips to Alluka, and let her and Nanika try holding the fishing rod, her eyes widening in amazement as if she were holding a precious artifact. Leorio lifted Alluka on his shoulders, carrying her into the river just because, and Gon invited Killua to sit with him in the trees, for no other reason than to see the sunlight filter through his snowy hair.
Gon had been consistently catching fish throughout the day, unhooking them and placing each of them in a cooler bag with ice packs. Later in the afternoon, he had a sufficient amount for dinner, but he wanted to catch extra and smoke them to give to Kurapika and Leorio for later. He peered over at his friends, divided in pairs sitting at different areas of the riverbank, the Zoldycks separated. Leorio and Killua were probably discussing Alluka’s medical treatment for her transition, as they could not see the same doctor for long without fear of being found by the rest of their family. Until they could finally settle, Leorio was gracious enough to offer advice and resources. They really did have the best of friends.
The minutes passed and his friends regrouped, Leorio joining Kurapika and Alluka, Gon noticing Killua approaching from his periphery.
“You’re really taking your time,” he teased.
Gon snickered. “I’ll be sure to serve you last, if you get any at all.”
The white haired boy chuckled back while Gon lifted himself to stand beside him. They talked while the fishing hook bobbed in the water, Gon repeatedly reeling it in and casting it back out. Glancing into the water, Gon saw a streak of dark color in the river near his bare feet.
“Killua, look,” he whispered harshly, gesturing to a fish swimming in the shallow water.
He followed Gon’s direction, then slumped his shoulders, commenting, “Dumbass. It missed the bait.”
“Shh!”
“What?” Killua hissed, “It’s not like it’s going to hear me!”
Gon glared at him before slowly setting his fishing rod on the ground. Pulling his arms in, he positioned himself to strike, prowling closer to the water. Eyes locked on the creature, he crouched lower, studying its movements, while he perched completely still for the perfect moment to strike. He saw the translucent bulges of its eyeballs from above and heard his heart beating inside of his ears.
Now.
His arms launched into the water, and he pulled the fish from the creek with a loud, “Ah-ha!”
The animal flailed erratically, slapping against the backs of Gon’s palms. As it flapped around, wriggling itself free from his grip, Gon continuously alternated his hands over one another to keep hold of its slick body. Next to him, Killua was yelling but Gon was not processing a single word, trying to keep the squirming fish steady. The creature, seemingly harnessing one last burst of energy, flung itself from Gon’s hands and slapped against Killua’s chest. Muscles rigid, Gon’s eyes grew, flicking up to Killua who was equally paralyzed. As if feeling gradually returned to his body, Killua slowly lowered his arms and tilted his head down, a vicious look upon his face.
“Killua! Sorry!” Ducking, Gon called while Killua lunged at him. “I said I’d grab it, not hold it!” He could barely get the last words out through his own laughter.
“You did that on purpose!” He hollered, pursuing Gon.
Gon dashed into the creek, hopping onto a rock jutting out of the water. He jumped as Killua swiped under his legs and then flipped around, dipping his foot in the current to kick water towards him. Killua phased out of vision, appearing on the same rock on which Gon had landed. Gon made his way upstream, leaping from stone to stone, but Killua soon caught up, somehow getting ahead, Gon almost running into him. To avoid him, Gon rocked back on his heels, and Killua’s arms shot forward, grabbing Gon’s hands with his own, interlocking their fingers together.
Gon steadied, bending his knees, he and Killua’s hands laced and hovering between them. He felt pressure from Killua’s palms and thrust the soles of his feet into the rock below, rooting himself in place. They locked eyes and Gon pushed forward harder but Killua would not move either. Killua’s hands were sturdy and Gon could sense the heat emanating from his skin as he resisted. Gon grunted through his teeth, leaning his head forward so Killua’s mouth was at his ear and he could feel his breath over his neck and then he was falling to the side, his ankle catching on the solid ground and bending inwards before his body hit the water.
Surfacing, he dragged himself out of the river, one leg trailing behind. Reaching the shore, he straightened up, a stinging pain shooting in his ankle, but nothing on which he could not walk. Killua had hopped back to the riverbank to meet Gon, and the rest of his friends were close to follow. Leorio had procured a small first aid kit, ordering Gon to sit so he could inspect his injury. Alluka leaned in towards Gon, asking if he was okay, while Killua lingered back, keeping his distance and shifting in place. Kurapika suggested he and the Zoldycks prepare for dinner while Leorio tended to Gon, and the three of them headed towards the campsite.
“You need to stay off of this tonight!” Leorio scolded. He lifted Gon’s leg gently, inspecting the swelling of his ankle. “Anyone else I’d say at least one week…”
Gon chuckled. “You sound like Master Wing.”
“Huh?” He uttered absent-mindedly, unzipping his pouch to extract a roll of bandages.
“Killua and I’s nen master! Osu!” Gon shouted, clenching his fists and straightening his arms by his sides.
Leorio stretched out a section of dressing, wrapping the wounded joint. “Right. He taught you before Bisky.” A couple rotations later, he commented, “Maybe I could consider Ging my first nen master. He did help me awaken my Hatsu.”
Gon emitted something between a sigh and a laugh, ducking his head.
“He was asking for it,” Leorio insisted, pointing up his nose.
“Probably.” Gon looked at the tree canopy. “I don’t know why, but I have a soft spot for the old man.”
“He is your dad. Even if he’s bad at it.”
“I kind of feel bad for him. I couldn’t know Aunt Mito and not be a part of her life.” He paused before continuing, “I couldn’t leave the people closest to me behind.”
“You’re a much better man than he is, even if you can act like a child.” He wrapped a layer of dressing tightly enough to make Gon wince. “We can only hope that one day he’ll redeem himself.”
“Only if it’s fun enough for him,” Gon snickered.
“There’s no purpose in simply collecting experiences. You make time for the things that matter.” Leorio stood as if emphasizing his point. “I’ll help you back to the campsite.”
He cradled his arm under Gon’s shoulder blades, rising with him.
“Do you not think he cares about anything?” Asked Gon while he limped along with Leorio’s support.
“I think he cares about himself.” He adjusted his grip around Gon with a light grunt. “He does whatever interests him and then puts it aside for the next thing.”
“Well, if in the end, his actions are helpful, does it matter what his motivation is?”
Leorio sighed, then snickered endearingly. “You saw what the rest of the Hunters thought of him in the election hall.”
“Yeah… nowhere near how Kite and Satotz described him.”
“I think what bothers me about him so much is that he’s a great Hunter, but a terrible person. If I respected him any more, I would probably ask him for advice,” he explained, guiding Gon around a large rock on the trail.
“I expected to travel with him after meeting him at the World Tree, but I haven’t seen him since. Whale Island isn’t important enough for him to visit.”
“Who cares what’s important to him? It’s obvious he sees relationships as a means to an end. It’s pathetic he doesn’t realize…” He paused, and Gon peeked at his face, Leorio’s skin reddening. “I found a lot more meaning to my work when I had someone to share my wins with. And well, my losses, too.”
Gon chuckled softly and Leorio turned away, loudly clarifying, “And that someone can be Aunt Mito cheering you on in your studies—!” In a softer tone, he continued, “We all lived and fought through a lot. There are things we can accomplish outside of hunting.”
Gon drew a slow breath in through his nose, leaning on Leorio with staggered steps. He had nothing to prove to Ging; he found him, even if their meeting was somewhat anticlimactic, at a mandatory meeting with all Hunters, but maybe Ging made himself accessible after catching wind of what Gon had to endure fighting the Chimera Ants. Maybe that was his way of saying, ‘good job.’ It was not Ging who greeted him after his near death—it was people he had only known for a few months: Morel, Shoot, Knuckle, Palm and Knov. Other friends, like Melody, Hanzo, Bisky and Goreinu met him before he entered the convention hall, and of course, Leorio was inside, with all of his tears and screaming.
Gon had people who fought for him, who loved him without any blood connection, and maybe the reason for his distant relationship with his father was nothing more than a consequence of Ging. He had his number, they were on speaking terms, and someday, Gon could think of a way to be useful to his dad, but he had no desire to do so now. Perhaps he would run into Ging in his future travels, but looking to Leorio, Gon knew it was his friends who would always be at his side.
“So… you and Kurapika?” Gon asked, wearing a mischievous grin. “When did that happen?”
“Oh! Ha, yeah. Well, the Black Whale brought us closer, after we got off and went home, we just started seeing each other more and… there may have been some wine involved,” he finished quickly.
Gon chortled through his nose, and despite his teasing, he was nothing short of elated for the two of them.
“Like you don’t have someone you want to be more than friends with,” Leorio grumbled.
“What do you mean?” Did he make it obvious, he wondered.
“What am I talking about? You’re Gon. You’re more interested in learning how long you can hold your breath or how high you can fall without breaking your legs.”
“Ten minutes 42 seconds and 31 and a half meters.”
“Ten minutes now—?” He waved his arm in front of him as if he were shooing away an insect. “You’re not helping my point,” he muttered, slouching his shoulders.
A smile formed across Gon’s face, fading gradually after a few steps. “Well, if you have some tips on, uh, relationships, I’ll hear them.”
“I’ll have you know, Gon,” Leorio responded smoothly, his demeanor completely transformed, “Once upon a time, I was quite a hit with the ladies.”
“Hah…” Gon glanced away. “On second thought...”
They entered the campsite together, the fire crackling as it grew. Leorio lowered Gon onto a stool and Kurapika pushed another stool in front of him to rest his injured ankle.
“Gon, see what you’ve done? Now Leorio has to sit on the ground.”
“What!?” Leorio shouted, Kurapika looking unfazed.
Gon mentioned, “I can still prepare the fish. Could someone hand me the cooler?”
“Better you than us,” Killua said, retrieving the bag for Gon.
“Oh… I guess I need some sticks, too.”
“Nanika can help!” Alluka cheered, raising her hand. Smiling at her, Killua patted her head before they went together to search.
Gon watched the flame strengthen, feeling it burn hotter while his friends conversed around him, talking about the crazy food they have encountered in York New or Leorio teasing Kurapika about the time he sprained his ankle on a curb. Despite his injury and the gnawing feeling of hopelessness from his current immobility, Gon laughed alongside his friends, engaging with their stories and sharing his own.
When Killua and his sisters returned, Gon immediately started preparing their dinner, first sharpening the sticks, staking the fish through their mouths, and rubbing on seasoning before they were placed at the edges on the fire. Gon directed Kurapika when to turn them, and soon enough they were ready to eat, Killua first opening Alluka’s fish and extracting the edible flesh for her, the others chewing around the bones. Once the fish was picked clean, Leorio, Kurapika and Alluka offered to wash the dishes and collect more water at the river. Killua indicated he would stay back to keep the fire going. He kneeled in front of the pit, prodding the logs with a thick branch, sparks flying into the air. With the fire rolling, he stood, twisting to meet Gon’s gaze.
“Hey, klutz,” he said, plopping himself on the stump next to Gon. His smile was so gentle, his eyes like blue gems shining in the firelight. Gon’s body tensed, with him needing to remind himself to breathe. Their solitude was palpable.
“Sorry about earlier,” Killua uttered. “How’s it going?”
Gon tore his gaze away, grumbling, “Leorio put me in time out,” with fake annoyance injected into his tone.
“Well yeah, you can’t keep yourself out of trouble otherwise,” Killua replied, accompanying a flick to Gon’s forehead.
“Ow!” His hands shot up to cover the sharp sting. “You started it!”
“Mmm... I see it as more mutual.” He crossed his legs, turning his head to the side. His facade crumbled as he smirked, looking at Gon out of the corner of his eye.
Upon seeing his mischievous expression, Gon gave him a toothy smile back before gazing into the fire. He replayed the succession of events at the river in his mind: splashing in the water, climbing the rocks, wrestling each other and falling in. It all happened so fast.
“I’m a lot weaker than you now, huh?” Gon heard himself say.
Killua expelled a puff of air in the place of words. Gon glanced at him hesitantly, both craving and reluctant for an answer, as if awaiting the results of a medical diagnosis.
“I—have to keep Alluka safe, you know,” Killua strained to say. Gon’s chest squeezed. He wanted to cry but he could not let himself, not now. If he had not lost his power, he could still travel with Killua, protecting Alluka alongside him. But instead, due to his weakness against the Chimera Ants, he had to bargain with his life, risking all of his potential dreams, because when he realized Kite had died, he decided he would not have a future either.
“But… I know you’ll catch up. At least get close. You’ve done it before.” He offered an encouraging smile and Gon returned it. Being strong again, strong enough to compare to his friends, seemed much too far out of his reach. But looking at Killua, he knew when the time came for him to reenter the world of Hunters, he would be there to give him the lift he needed.
The rest of their friends joined, returning from the riverbank, and the five of them sat around the fire until it was reduced to coals, Killua remaining next to him the entire evening. They made cocoa, Killua pouring hot water for Gon, Alluka throwing marshmallows into his mug, and even as the flame dwindled, heat radiated within Gon’s chest, warm with Killua’s presence and insulated by the closeness of his friends. When they finally got up from their seats, Kurapika grabbed Leorio’s hands to lift him from the ground, and Killua helped Gon to their tent, wrapping his arm across his shoulder blades. Gon’s throat tightened, and despite laying flat on his bedroll, he felt wide awake next to Killua.
---
Only when the sunlight hit his eyelids did Gon realize he had eventually drifted off. They packed up their belongings after breakfast, heading back through the woods to Kurapika’s home. Leorio would take them back to the city once they had all bathed, the doctor having an early shift tomorrow morning. The forest felt solemn to Gon, quieter and calmer, and his friend’s banter around him was like paint over a blemish, a quick fix, but not solving his underlying problem. Leaving meant being away from his friends, returning to a challenging, yet scarcely rewarding daily life.
Gon would never doubt that he loved being on Whale Island with Aunt Mito and Great-Grandmother Abe, but nothing would match the exhilaration he experienced while hunting. Since realizing the actual fate of his father, Gon knew he did not belong on the island. His true nature was pursuing discoveries and pushing his limits, similar to Ging, except Gon could not imagine having fun and finding fulfillment without someone at his side—whether it be a friend or something else, he thought, his gaze floating up Killua’s solid back to his soft hair.
From the edge of his vision, Gon noticed Kurapika veer from the path. He flicked his eyes towards him, watching his movements. The blonde walked at the edge of the trail, slowing his gait, inspecting the foliage parallel to him.
“This way. I want to show you all something,” he mentioned, pushing into a tangle of branches growing out from a row of sapling trees.
“Kurapika, you sure?” Leorio asked, moving towards him reluctantly like he was approaching a wild animal.
“Yes, I’m sure.” He nodded once and turned away, the rest of the group exchanging confused glances. On their way to the campsite days ago, Gon had noticed a few broken branches and a lack of underbrush, both signs of something passing through and often. He did not mention spotting the disturbance; he figured if something was awry, Kurapika would have sensed it by now.
Kurapika traversed the brush, heading into the forest, with the rest of the group following one by one. Leorio was next, purposefully pushing ahead, out of Gon’s sight beyond the thicket. Killua shoved the branches and leaves out of the way to make space for Alluka to climb through, and he and Gon trailed last. There was noticeable space between the two in front and three in back, Leorio seemingly forgetting those behind him while trying to catch his partner, although keeping his distance.
They proceeded at a pace just short of running, as if Kurapika was trying to reenact the first phase of their Hunter Exam. They remained in their original order on the trail, Kurapika in front, not looking back once. Gon made sure to stay back with the Zoldycks, while the gap among the group progressively grew. Looking to his side, he noticed the siblings’ faces marked with vexation, Alluka struggling to keep up, weighed down by her backpack. One of her hands was joined with her brother’s, and Gon grabbed the other one, Killua immediately noticing the added tension. With a smirk, Gon joined eyes with him, and instinctively, they both flexed their arms, lifting Alluka in the air. She squealed and kicked her legs like she was riding a bicycle, a flurry of laughter escaping her.
The boys elevated her a few more times before all at once, they saw Kurapika and Leorio standing still, standing at the perimeter of another opening in the forest. Gon let go of Alluka, and they all cautiously stepped forward, Gon’s imagination running frantically with what awaited them beyond the treeline. Leorio had his arm around Kurapika, the two attached at their sides, and as Gon approached, he could see a round hut in front of them, large swirl patterns integrated into the exterior.
Upon realizing, Gon’s heartbeat suspended. It was Kurapika’s childhood home, or a recreation of it. They were all wordless, eyes fixed onto the building as if it would disappear if they looked away.
Breaking the silence, Killua requested, “You gonna invite us in?”
“Of course,” Kurapika answered with a chortle, “come with me.”
He beckoned with a small wave of his arm and led them to the front of the bungalow. The others dropped their bags after him, and he pulled a key out of his pocket and slid it into one lock, followed by two others. He twisted the knob, pushing the door open to a dimly lit interior, barely a speck of dust floating across the sunbeams cast through the windows. The inside was constructed mostly of wood, from the walls to the furniture, with multiple large rugs and tapestries of plants, wooded scenes or folk art softening the area. There was a stone fireplace with chairs near, a low table surrounded by cushions, a secretary desk against a wall and many shelves with handmade tools, dishes and art.
Gon’s breath hardened in his chest. This place seemed too sacred for him to enter. He wondered if the items were original or imitations. Kurapika went ahead into the building, and Gon proceeded on stiff legs, each step feeling as if lead had seeped into his bones. Peering to the top of the domed ceiling, he followed the vertical slats up the wall, finding lines engraved into the wood, similar to the outside. He dropped his chin, seeing his friends proceed after Kurapika’s invitation. He hovered at the edge of the group, all silent as they took in their surroundings.
“Wow…” he heard Alluka breathe.
“Yeah…” Killua echoed, resting a hand on her shoulder.
“Feel free to look around,” Kurapika offered, sitting in front of the fireplace.
Alluka immediately scurried towards the art, Killua loudly reminding her to be careful. Leorio stepped over to his partner, planting a kiss on top of his golden hair. Gon went to check out the desk and accompanying bookshelves, scanning titles such as Kurta Fighting Techniques and Fables of the Forest, all hardbound and worn. The desk was closed, the cover carved with a simple frame design. On the wall was a drawing of a fawn-haired boy, his face kind and eyes distant. Although Gon’s curiosity was strong, he did not dare to touch anything.
“There’s a downstairs, too,” he heard Kurapika vocalize.
Leorio smiled softly and Alluka audibly gasped. Kurapika lifted a rug, folding it over itself, revealing a door within the flooring. Alluka expressed how cool the discovery was, but Gon was drawn to the anterior of the hut, towards the exit. As Kurapika lifted the trap door and began to descend, Gon crept away, slinking out the back door. He shut the door carefully behind him, proceeding into the yard before firmly planting his feet into the ground, closing his eyes and inviting in the sounds of the forest around him.
His legs carried him up a slight slope of bright green grass, breeze tousling the blades that were not crunching under his feet. With sparse clouds overhead, sunlight poured into the field through which Gon walked, any shadows seemingly forgetting to emerge. A rustle of leaves drew Gon’s attention above, and when he looked back down, he had reached the top of the hill. A heavy sensation immediately pressed down on him seeing what awaited him—a black iron fenced perimeter, enclosing a perfectly aligned grid of headstones. He blinked in disbelief, unable to process the charnel scene in front of him against the vibrant surroundings. Before him was his family, Kurapika’s family, each member slaughtered for their remains.
“I buried them here.” Kurapika said from behind him. Occupied by his own thoughts, Gon did not sense his approach. Gon strained to face him, barely able to look his friend in the eye.
“Kurapika…” he uttered, still affected by the scene before him, feeling as if the ground would pull him under, too.
He glanced towards the manicured plot of headstones, as if they would tell him what to say next. Gon could tell that Kurapika did not know whose eyes were whose when he buried them; every stone was marked the same: Kurta.
“I’m sorry,” crackled from his throat.
Kurapika spoke slowly, forming each word definitively. “The circumstances are not ideal, but this is what I wanted. I can rest knowing that they’re at peace.”
They let the silence grow between them. A light breeze touched Gon’s skin, reminding him that he was alive.
“Thank you for letting me meet them.”
Kurapika nodded gradually, countless unspoken words and hidden feelings in his gesture. Gon figured it must be difficult to lift his head at all after everything he endured.
“I’m glad you could. I’m glad we had this weekend together.” They exchanged a smile and the air seemed lighter. Kurapika broke their shared gaze, looking ahead, his body tensing. He held one hand in front of his chest, his other one over the back of his wrist, as if chains would conjure upon his arm.
He breathed out, saying, “There’s something I wanted you to know: On the Black Whale, I decided my last two chain abilities. A byproduct of one of them is awakening Nen within people.”
Gon touched his chin, ruminating over the skill. Whatever hell they had to endure on the Black Whale, Gon knew there was no limit to the sacrifice Kurapika would make to retrieve his family’s remains. The first time they were in York New together, he pushed himself to illness while pursuing his goal, processing the horrors of revenge.
“I couldn’t accept the trade-off,” Gon stated flatly.
A grin pulled at Kurapika’s lips. “Always so perceptive.” He took a deep breath in, adding, “I knew my goal was nearly unobtainable, and to reach it, I had to set the stakes high.”
Chewing on his lip, Gon glanced at Kurapika uneasily. Their methods were different, but the two of them had traded unaccounted years of their own lives to accomplish their objectives, both of which were more important than living.
“I probably knocked a couple years off myself…” Gon muttered quietly.
Kurapika started again, cutting off Gon from saying any further, “Leorio saved me.” His eyelids drifted closed, as if falling into a dream for just a moment. “Since I left the forest, I’ve met so many people, but he is one of a kind.”
He reopened his eyes, and seeing them glistening panged Gon. When he was in East Gorteau, Killua was the one to save him from his sacrifice against Pitou. Both he and Kurapika needed protection from their own selves, and somehow, by luck or fate or both, the two of them found the person to provide that safety.
“Killua—”
“I know.”
Gon’s throat caught, but he managed to squeeze out, “Thank you, Kurapika.”
He felt a hand touch his shoulder and he looked up, noticing Kurapika beckoning him closer for a hug. Gon was more than fortunate to have friends who understood him, even if he would never choose to inflict the same pain he had endured onto anyone else. Kurapika and Leorio provided the guidance of older siblings that Gon lacked in his own family. Everyone he was with this weekend existed somewhere within the overlap of friends and family, held together not by blood but by shared experiences, a love cultivated and grown from chance.
Kurapika released him, still standing in front of him with one hand on his shoulder.
“I no longer have a family, but I have truly been blessed with amazing friends.”
Gon drew in a deep breath. “I feel the same way.” He cast down his gaze, admitting, “I have been meditating recently, when I’m not doing school stuff. I’m… going to see if I can do it on my own, you know, opening my nodes.”
His friend nodded slowly, lowering his arm. “I believe you can do it.”
Gon rubbed the back of his head. “Ha, thanks. No progress yet but—” he dropped his arm. “Maybe by the time I finish all my classes.”
“If you don’t mind me asking.” Kurapika met Gon’s eyes while he spoke. “Do you have an idea of what you’d like to do after school?”
“I want to go back to hunting full-time, no question about that. But—.” He suddenly felt winded, heat radiated under his skin. All he could think of was striking blue eyes and soft white hair. He shrugged, looking upwards, “I do have a tendency to act out when I’m on my own, so…”
“I see.” Kurapika dipped his chin, a playful smile on his lips. Gon, his mouth lopsided, unable to explain himself further, relied on Kurapika to say, “Let’s go back to the others.”
The pair started towards the Kurta house, Gon feeling a sense of disorientation as his surroundings faded back to reality, from a world of the dead to the living. The rest of the group was waiting by the door, Alluka straightening up when she saw them approach, raising an arm into the air and calling towards them from feet away.
“Kurapika! This is so cool, you grew up in a place like this?”
“Yes I did.” He nodded humbly, stopping before them. “At least from what I can remember—it’s been a few years. Eventually, I’ll go back to Lukso Province and learn more about my clan. I’ll build this along with my knowledge and grow with it.”
Leorio put a hand on Kurapika’s shoulder and they smiled gently at each other.
“And Leorio and I, we’re working with universities to set up grants and develop curricula for Kurta culture, history and medicine. My clan will never be forgotten.”
“As long as I have a say in it,” Leorio emphasized, pointing a thumb at himself.
Arms crossed, Killua quipped, “Geez, we should do more with our lives, we get it.”
“Brother!” Gon’s heart warmed; Killua could never get anything past his sister.
“One step at a time,” Kurapika said, smiling softly.
Leorio retorted, “Besides, we got a few years on you. You can slack off for a little longer.”
“Will you be famous?” Alluka wondered.
Kurapika chuckled lightly. “I don’t think so. I only wish to share my clan’s wisdom of living in harmony with the earth, and flourishing despite secrecy.”
“That’s so awesome, Kurapika. Both of you are doing such great things.”
“Don’t sell yourself short, Gon. There’s value in waiting. Especially depending on what you’re waiting for.” The blonde winked at him.
Gon’s ears burned and he averted his gaze to a nondescript spot on the ground.
Pursing his lips, Leorio questioned, “Why do you seem like you know something?”
“What do you mean?” The blonde shrugged. “All I’m saying is obtaining a degree is a worthy use of one’s time.”
Leorio was either kind or naive enough to drop the topic, and the five of them trekked through the woods again back to Kurapika’s home. After acquiring distance from the Kurta hut, they all seemingly loosened, the Gon and the Zoldycks revealing their own questions about the clan and its culture. Kurapika detailed stories from his childhood, hunting and growing and creating and playing, so vividly as if the memories were recent. Gon walked alongside two versions of his friend, both younger and older, brimming with excitement and writhing under the weight of reality. He imagined himself as a child, running with Kurapika through the dense woods, participating in communal dinners and raising oversized birds.
During the rest of their hike, they walked within echoes of the past, Gon almost expecting to see Kurapika’s kinfolk emerge from the brush. He only had the ghosts of memories and words on paper to connect him to his heritage, yet he continued to press forward; when he accomplished a goal, he would set another, all in his family’s honor. He lived not for himself, but for his clan, existing only in name. Just like Leorio and Killua, their motivation came from loss—the loss of a childhood friend, or the loss of time with a loved one. Through the suffering and regret, they allowed a new sense of belonging to emerge amongst themselves, all discovered on the path to becoming a Hunter.
Gon glanced at Killua and Alluka, the latter in a familiar state of glee. If Gon had realized his wish in East Gorteau and perished on that island, would Killua’s dedication lie in his memory, rather than his sister? Would he be distracted, unable to be fully present for all of their shared moments? Although Gon valued his friend’s lives over his own, he has witnessed how all-encompassing the death of a beloved can be. Besides, after Kite’s revival, it was not like Gon had endured any significant loss in his life. He had a mother in Aunt Mito, and Ging had left him before he could remember.
Compared to his friends, his upbringing was uneventful, his only pain self-inflicted, and the majority of his companions from the forest. He lacked a father, but for at least a couple years of his life, he believed Aunt Mito’s lie about why he was not present, but still, his absence convinced Gon that he himself was something lesser. Despite any danger he faced in the future, he would cling to this life as tightly as he could, so that his demise would not distract his friends from their own pursuits. He would keep working and pushing for more moments like these, and maybe, hopefully, someday, they would hunt all together again.
When they came upon Kurapika’s main home, they all went towards the garage to remove their shoes, and into the house to bathe and pack. The succession of events felt regimented, as if they were following orders, all wanting to stay together longer. Gon marched downstairs with his bag on his back, and Kurapika, once again, was kind enough to prepare food. They served themselves dumplings in the kitchen and carried them to the dining table together, filling up their stomachs before their drive back to the city. Kurapika was going to stay behind for academic research before leaving to spend the next week at the Hunter Association Headquarters.
They all thanked him and hugged him goodbye, Leorio’s embrace the longest despite being with him the most, and one by one, walked out of the front door. Alluka shed a few tears, and Gon held her hand next to her in the back seat, his own emotions not quite catching up to him yet. He would see Kurapika again soon; every time they separated in the past, they always found each other again.
Like a spider bite, Gon knew tomorrow he would feel the sting more intensely. Leorio ranted during the drive back to York New to lighten the mood, telling them the story of how his clinic was able to raise money to fly a patient in for treatment. Someday, Gon thought, he would be doing something as exciting and important to himself, like climbing Heaven’s Arena with Killua, pursuing the Phantom Troupe with Killua, winning Greed Island with Killua, fighting the ants with Killua…
Gon peered out the window, the base of his neck warming abruptly. His friend’s voices filled the car, and trees became fewer as they neared the city. Leorio dropped them off at the hotel they were staying in for the night, and once they shared hugs outside of the car, he left for his own room closer to the hospital to prepare for an early shift in the morning. Alluka needed to rest on an actual mattress, and Gon and Killua went to the hotel lobby to both confirm their travel and find a place for dinner. The two boys did not talk much when they were alone, either from being tired, glum or a combination of the two, yet Gon was comfortable in their subdued communication, sitting near each other.
Alluka awoke and they walked a few blocks away to a diner to eat. They recounted their weekend over burgers, fries and sodas, trading off their neverending list of favorite memories, asking Nanika to share hers, too. Before long, Alluka declared they would go camping again soon, and they would camp all around the world as well. Gon smiled widely along with her, her enthusiasm was always encouraging. Only two more years of school, Gon thought, but, gazing at Killua, he wondered if the timing would be right then. Killua treated their bill and they headed to a nearby waterfront park before turning in for the night.
The three walked on the sea wall in a line, spun on the grass until they were dizzy, and asked to pet every dog that strolled by. Dusk fell late, and after finishing some shaved ice they bought at a stand, they decided to set off for their hotel. Their last sleep before separating, more than likely to not reunite until the next year. A profound emptiness awaited Gon, the same he always contended with on his home island. This weekend seeing his friends temporarily filled the void within him, but like an overused well, it would soon dry up. Time spent so sweetly could only result in sickness afterwards, yet watching Killua’s smile against the violet orange sunset, he would indulge as long as he could.
Suddenly, as they were walking, Alluka in front, Gon noticed Killua’s brow tighten and posture stiffen. He responded promptly with a big smile when Alluka turned to look at him between her consistent observations and musings, but returned to a state of alertness. Gon peered around inconspicuously, unable to detect anything threatening on the sparsely populated street. Breathing out slowly, he directed his focus to his hearing, picking up murmurs of air conditioning units and car engines, the clanking of doors opening and shutting and distant unintelligible chatter.
“Hey,” he whispered, “is something wrong?”
“No, I’m fine,” Killua disregarded with a quick wave of his hand.
Creasing his lips, Gon looked away from Killua, slightly irked by his dismissiveness. But then, he could discern a pattern amongst the noise, a soft chiming of metal clinking against metal. No matter how many steps they went, the sound remained the same distance behind them. Someone behind them was either wearing a chain or carried keys in their pocket, and this someone was staying on their trail.
“Killua! We’re being followed,” Gon reported in an urgent yet hushed tone.
“Shh!” Killua hissed back.
Gon’s eyes flicked between Killua and his sister, recognizing he was concealing the pursuer from her.
“We have to—”
Killua’s icy gaze pierced into Gon, freezing his thoughts in place. Uncomfortable, he shifted on his feet, knowing Killua was leaking a sinister aura, even if he could not sense it.
Noticing the friction between them, Alluka inquired, “What’s going on with you two?”
Killua lurched back, straightening himself with his arms behind his back, conveying innocence.
“Nothing,” he said through a gentle grin, “Gon’s just… being stupid.”
Anger rose in him like magma about to erupt. “Hey! What’s stupid about aghh—.” He was interrupted by Killua’s pinching and twisting the skin on his cheek.
“Hmm…” Alluka’s brow crumpled, scrutinizing the boys’ behavior. “Leorio did say you two argue like an old married couple.”
“Huh?!” Killua uttered, his arms snapping in front of his chest as if he touched something too hot. “I’m gonna kill him…” Gon heard Killua grumble as he exhaled steadily, his face throbbing in pain.
They kept going, Killua discreetly checking over his shoulder every few steps. The quiet tinkling persisted, Gon never locating the source. Being stalked by an unknown figure, his pulse sped; since they remained hidden this whole time, Gon could only assume they had ill intentions.
“Big Brother, the hotel is this way!” Alluka called from the corner of the sidewalk, pointing up the street.
“Oh, right! Sorry! I had an idea… but it’s this way!” Killua stammered, continuing forward while Gon glared at him unenthusiastically.
Trotting over to her brother, Alluka cheered, “Okay! What’s your idea?”
“You’ll know soon,” he replied, resting a hand on her head, a mushy rounded smile forming on her face. Gon could infer that Killua did not know the plan himself.
Another half of a block forward, Killua spun around abruptly, directing the group to a storefront.
“Alluka! You’ve always wanted second dessert, right?”
Placing her palm on her stomach, she replied, “Well yeah, but… maybe another day, I’m kind of full.”
“That’s nonsense! Go on in!” He placed his hands on each of their backs, pushing them towards the door. “I’ll meet you inside in just a moment!”
“Hey! Big Brother!” Alluka shouted, causing Killua to relent. Panic increasingly folded into his expression and Gon could practically hear his mind churning.
“You can’t keep her in the dark forever!” Gon declared, his gaze unwavering against Killua’s frigid stare back. Alluka’s pale blue eyes grew with desperation, sensing the severity in Gon’s voice.
Killua broke their eye contact and sighed softly, tilting his head down as if dropping any further fabricated excuses. Lifting his chin, he looked from Gon and Alluka, then his eyes slit like a feline targeting its prey. He snatched Gon and Alluka’s hands, pulling them along with him as he dashed ahead. Gon could barely touch his feet to the ground against Killua’s strength and speed, and he staggered over the concrete until Killua pivoted sharply into an alley.
“Okay seriously, what’s going on, you guys?” Alluka pleaded breathlessly once they stopped, anxiety pricking the edges of her words.
“We’re… Someone’s following us,” Killua admitted, his tone laced with defeat.
“What?! Who?!” She gathered her hands in front of her mouth, slouching forward as if to make herself smaller.
Killua peeked around her, pointing to the entrance of the corridor. “Him.”
Gon whipped his head from side to side, analyzing their location. There was only one exit to the alleyway, unless they scaled the adjacent buildings. They were effectively cornered, but confined in a narrow arena opposing Killua, the enemy would be the one at a disadvantage. Killua stepped forward, leaving the only empty air between him and the stranger. Gon could feel the hair on his skin rise as an electrified Killua passed him, threads of lightning stretching and snapping inside of his palms.
“Turn around now, and I’ll let you leave this alley,” Killua growled.
“What do you mean?” The man paced forward, twirling a knife on the tip of his pointer finger. He wore a long sleeved purple shirt with black pants, a chain hanging out of his pocket and clipped to a belt loop. One of his eyes was partially concealed by a brown curtain of hair, parted on the side with the other half tucked behind his ear. There was a scar drawn down his lip, and his gaze was intense and deranged.
Gon wondered if the weapon was a diversion from his true ability. Was he working alone? He scanned the rooftops above for any potential partners.
“I just wanted to tell your sister… how much I love her beads.”
Gunpowder burst in Gon’s veins. This bastard had been tracking them for days, waiting for their return to the city. And he dared threaten Alluka with something so dear to her. For making them feel unsafe, for even showing his presence before them, he would pay. Sick, black energy pulsated from Gon’s heart, coursing through his blood. His chest heaved with deep, hungry breaths, craving revenge, and with his vision blurring dark at the periphery, he clenched his fists and started towards their foe.
He did not make it past Killua before feeling his hand gently land on his shoulder. Like opening a drain at the bottom of a reservoir, all of the malice was immediately sucked out of him. He could see clearly again, and next to him was Killua, his face a cross between dejection and concern. He could feel the ghosts of Killua’s breath upon his skin.
“Gon,” he muttered, a slight smirk pulling at his lips, “this guy isn’t shit.”
Gon stifled a laugh. His heartbeat was quick, charged not with rage but excitement, reveling in their closeness.
“Let’s get him. Together,” said Killua. Receiving his permission, Gon nodded, and Killua released his shoulder with a lingering smile.
They sprinted ahead and made quick work of their opponent, trading only a few blows before slamming him unconscious over his own blood spattered on the pavement. Killua rolled him over and rifled through his pockets, pulling out his wallet and staring at a slip he found inside.
“Guy got a hold of a bounty on us. Probably thought we were easy targets.” He crumpled up the paper and tossed it on the man. “Damn Illumi.”
Killua twisted around and approached his sister, asking her if she was okay. Her arms crossed, she would not meet his eye and jerked away when he reached for her.
Voice bubbling with emotion, she squeaked, “Big Brother… you lied to us.” He cast his sights down, afflicted by her words.
“Nanika and I can help and you never let us!” She stomped a foot, shivering in frustration. Killua expelled a puff of air, continuing to look away from her.
“Alluka… I’m sorry. I’m sorry I lied. I thought it would be the best way to protect you.” He raised his eyes to his sister, his cobalt gaze glossing over. Jaw clenched, he sniffled, wagging his head slowly.
“Father and Mother, they didn’t give me a choice. From the moment I learned to walk, I had to fight if I wanted to survive. I don’t want to force you to fight. We’re in this mess with our family together, but I wanted to give you a choice. I wish…” His breath hitched.
“I wish you didn’t have to be a Zoldyck,” he concluded, tears streaming down his cheeks.
At this point, Alluka was crying too, her own eyes drowning in tears. “B-but,” she blubbered, “if I wasn’t a Zoldyck, you wouldn’t be my Big Brother.”
Killua pulled her into a hug and they sobbed quietly in each other’s arms. Silent tears fell from Gon’s eyes as he watched the siblings. No matter who Gon was to Killua, he would never be a Zoldyck, and with the horrors they had to endure as children of their family, he was elated that Killua could be honest, and that they had each other, even if Gon lacked friends back home…
“Please, just wait until you’re 17, and then decide whatever you want to do,” Gon heard Killua’s muffled voice in her shoulder. “Until then, please let me protect you.”
“Mm-hmmph,” she agreed.
The man on the ground groaned and Gon delivered a kick to his ribs. They made it back to the hotel without consequence, Killua and Alluka’s arms linked during their walk. Among Killua’s praises for his sisters’ bravery, Alluka shared that she remembered Gon’s advice while they were apprehended: calm breath means a calm body. The mention filled Gon with pride.
They watched a little television in their hotel room before getting ready for bed, and while Alluka and Killua were fast asleep together, Gon went to the window. He opened it and sat with the crisp late summer air, the thoughts he had been trying to avoid for days, finally sinking their sharp claws into his mind.
He would spend the next year living vicariously through his friends as they traveled, explored and furthered the name of the Hunter Association. He would be at his desk, studying things that did not interest him, and despite how hard he tried, not getting any better at it. He did not resent the Island or Aunt Mito, only himself. Behind him, Killua slumbered silently, and it took all of Gon’s discipline to not wake him up and beg him to join them until he agreed. He would only be an added burden to their already precarious existence, running from some of the deadliest trackers known to anyone.
But maybe, in two years, when Alluka was 17, her hold on Killua would loosen, which lined up perfectly with Gon finishing school. As long as his hope persisted, so would he, to support Leorio and Kurapika’s achievements, to watch Alluka grow and learn, and to finally break free from the mistakes of his past and roam the world alongside Killua. He would find his strength, train to defeat even the greatest danger, to protect his friends on their paths, wherever they might end up. Any free time he had back at the island, he would test and push himself to the brink, all in preparation to use Nen again. Against all odds, Gon would see the sunrise tomorrow again, and keep running towards the horizon of possibilities.
And in the morning, watching Gon’s train pull into the station, he was convinced of the impossible, as Killua’s body slammed into him, pulling Gon into an embrace.
da boyz :)
Here's my piece for @hxhbigbang24, for the writer @mossy-korok !! Please read the fic here it made me cry !!
He wanted to remember this night perfectly - the chill in the air, the heat of the flames, the chorus of the fauna, his best friend and his home, all wrapped together tucked into a safe place in his heart. Clutching killua's hand, he felt like he was glowing, his skin borrowing radiance from the fire
Thank you to my amazing writer for the hxh big bang 2024 @mossy-korok for this beautiful scene!!! I hope i managed to capture the hopeful, sweet and loving feeling between these two. Please go read their fic here!!!
Intersections
Chapter 1: Year 1 | Read on Ao3 | 16k words
Summary: Every year after their separation, Killua and Gon reunite. Things feel different between the boys, far from irreparable, but the foundation of their relationship has tilted, and with one of them on the run and the other without nen, balance is hard to reach. They have both transformed under the intense pressures of the past, and while it might take them a bit to realign, that does not mean they will not try—although with bumps on the way. This is a story about teens wrestling with their true feelings, friendships old and new, and all the awkward, goofy, angsty and warm-hearted moments that come with them.
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Gon, nose against the surface of the kitchen table, flopped his head to the side. With one ear pressed to the wood, he heard the familiar buzz of his beetle phone vibrating from across the room. Heavy eyelids lifted with hopes of breaking away from the tedium of education.
“Aunt Mito, can I check it just this once? Please?”
Aunt Mito stood with her back towards him at the counter, “Gon, your friends should know by now—no phone while you’re doing your schoolwork.”
The rhythmic whirring of his phone did little to ease his want. With one hand holding his chin and the other tapping a pencil on his book, he peeked towards his phone, imagining who could be trying to contact him. He had heard the faint rumbling multiple times, including both calls and texts. What if someone was having an emergency? Any one of his friends could easily be in danger!
He knew going against Aunt Mito’s word would mean grief for him, and besides, he never wanted to make her angry. He scrunched his brow, deliberating a strategy.
“Aunt Mito!” He stood abruptly in his chair, prompting her to spin around at once, “If you let me check my phone now, I’ll do an extra hour of studying today!”
Crossing her arms, she leaned onto one leg, her cheek creasing as she thought.
“Fine,” she decided after a few seconds, “But I’m holding you to it.”
She barely finished her sentence before Gon bolted out of his seat, his bare feet beating the wooden floor with each urgent step. He snatched his phone from the counter and scrolled through the many notifications, all sharing the same contact.
Missed Call: Killua 10 mins ago
Killua: Hey, you there? 9 mins ago
Killua: Can you talk? 5 mins ago
Killua: Gon! 2 mins ago
Pulse blaring, Gon furiously tapped the buttons on his phone to pull up Killua’s contact and dial him. He could exhale when he heard the call trying to connect, but even waiting a single ring was torturous. He heard the distinct click of the line connecting and drew in a large breath.
“Killua!” he shouted.
“Yeah, what?” Drifted monotonously from the other line.
“Are you okay?!” Panicked tears threatened to leak out of his eyes.
“Uhh, yeah, why?”
“Why’d you reach out so many times?!”
“It got you to answer, right?”
Gon sighed roughly. “Yeah… Except I promised Aunt Mito another hour of work for this.”
“Not my problem.”
“Ughhh.” His head drooped. “What’s up, anyways?”
“Can Alluka and I visit?”
A jolt shot through his body, swiftly straightening his spine. “What?! When?!”
“See? I did have something important!” Killua insisted. “These itineraries say we can be there in either two or three days.”
“Yes!” Gon hunched over, clenching his fist in front of his chest.
“Which one, ya dummy?” He asked with a chuckle.
“Doesn’t matter! Both give me enough time to tell Aunt Mito!”
“Tell me what!?” Her voice projected from the other end of the kitchen.
“Killua and Alluka! Coming to Whale Island!”
After a few exchanges of stern questions and submissive replies from Aunt Mito and Gon respectively, Gon whispered into the phone, “Two. I’ll figure things out here in the meantime. Bye!”
He swiftly hung up, followed by reassuring words in an attempt to quell his guardian. Killua and Alluka were always moving, and Gon knew he never planned ahead, to avoid the risk of someone discovering and tracking their route. Killua coming to Whale Island must have been by pure coincidence, so Gon needed to grab this chance, regardless of any consequences at home.
There were few exceptions he would not make for Killua, and although punishment in the form of written assignments seemed so much worse than physical pain, he would eagerly endure any of it for him. Subsequently, four days of curriculum were shoved into the next 48 hours. Gon’s brain felt like it was going to burst at the seams, but there was no better reward that could have been waiting for him after.
The morning of the Zoldyck’s arrival, Gon changed his bedsheets, dragged out a futon, cut fruit and bathed before dashing from the house to the harbor. For the next few days, only the edges of the island could restrict his freedom, and he could experience all of it with Killua again; showing him the changes on the island, revisiting their favorite spots, seeing what Killua has learned.
Seeing Killua.
He was able to see Killua many times over the past year, in pictures and videos, but he never sounded right in recordings, and no single frame could capture the same brilliance he shone in person. They had kept their friendship afloat, but at times, it seemed obscured, with no clear path forward, but that was typical for Gon at this point in his life in the calm waters he returned to after years of tumult.
Nonetheless, his years away from Whale Island were the best of his life. Gon loved Aunt Mito and Great-Grandmother Abe, but he could be his truest self around Killua, without any restraints. Yet a lack of restraint is exactly what landed him in his current situation—home without access to friends nor nen.
Sometimes, alone while reminiscing with the clouds above, Gon laughed at himself, once thinking it was acceptable to depend on someone else for his own self-control. To his credit, he had never connected with someone like Killua. He trusted him wholly, and unknowingly, took advantage of that trust. Gon may never understand why Killua forgave him, but he would never question it.
He made the conscious decision to think mostly about the good times they shared together. Killua simply made everything better, more fun and exciting and meaningful. So many of the places Gon had seen and the things he accomplished included Killua; he helped uncover possibilities Gon would have never found alone. The only reason he realized his life’s goal was because of Killua, and even with all the strife they endured along the way, he never left his side.
Gon increased his pace, arms pumping at his sides, breath tearing through his lungs. The sound of a marine horn blared over the trees covering the path he was taking, scattering a few finches into the sky. He sped even faster, as if the ship carrying his friend would match his fervor. The sun seemed brighter to him today, its light reaching a little deeper, warming him from the inside. In just a few minutes, he would be meeting Killua.
When he rounded the first row of buildings, he saw the vessel carrying his friend had arrived, people crowded on the deck to exit. Gon stood in place, inhaling deeply through a huge smile, catching his breath, then rushed ahead, dodging around visitors and townspeople. He paused where the harbor turned and widened in order to see the boat more clearly, and through a jagged opening of people funneling off, a shock of white hair revealed itself.
Killua!
Chest thumping, he tensed in excitement, still wearing a massive grin. Killua was at the top of the boarding ramp! Gon jumped in place before resuming his path to him, and the world spun faster and everything passing by him blurred together and he flung his arms out like he had just won a marathon. Neither killer ants, deranged family nor vast oceans could keep them apart, and today would be proof that their bond could hold after a brutal assault.
He halted at the top of the stairs leading to the thin stretch of dock onto which the passengers disembarked. Killua stood behind Alluka, stuffing something into her backpack. Gon could see that he was taller, and he had let the back of his hair grow longer. It suited him.
“Ki—Hey!” Gon shouted, realizing it would be best to not loudly disclose the fugitive siblings’ names. He waved both arms above his head, “Over here!”
The Zoldycks beamed back at him, lifting their own hands above their heads. They were together again, Gon and Killua, and from now on, Alluka as well. If Killua loved her, that meant Gon did, too.
Gon waited, practically vibrating out of his own skin as the siblings headed towards him. Killua climbed the stairs to Gon first, and when he came into view over the landing, Gon had to catch his breath. He just wanted to look at him! His icy eyes and wispy hair, solid arms hanging from his dark tank top—Gon could barely believe he was standing in front of him.
“Killua! Alluka! Hey!” He greeted, throwing his arms down in excitement. The brother and sister stopped side by side, and somehow, Gon’s smile stretched even farther across his face.
“Hey, Gon,” Killua said with a smirk, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his gray shorts.
“Hi, Gon!” Alluka squeaked and Gon’s eyes widened, darting away from Killua. “Whale Island is so-oooh pretty!” She clapped her hands together, tilting her head to the side.
Since Gon saw her last, she had begun wearing a knee-length skirt, paired with a thin shawl and small bow in front of her abdomen. Her hair was cut just below her shoulders, and she still wore her signature headband and beads, in a white, plum and blue motif to match her outfit. Gon figured it was Zoldyck nature to look your best at all times.
Gon blinked at her, his expression re-enlivening. “I’m glad you think so! Then let’s get going!” He called before stepping backwards, “We’ll drop your stuff off! We just have to make a quick stop on the way to my house!”
He scrambled towards town, arcing his arm widely in the air, beckoning them along. Killua and Alluka raced after him, dodging around the various stalls of vendors. Gon could hear Alluka’s shoes pounding behind him, Killua still silent in his step. After squeezing through a crowd, he realized they were not on his trail anymore, but he continued to his destination nearby, knowing Killua would find him.
Two people queued in a line designated where Gon needed to be, and he assumed his place behind them. He rocked on his boots, eagerly searching the street to be discovered and when moved ahead in line, there was still no sign of his friends among the white brick paths. Leaning back on his heels, finally he could see, charging up the street, Killua clutching Alluka’s hand. Another stride forward and Gon was in front of the counter.
“What was that all about?” Killua demanded upon reaching him.
“Sorry, Killua! Here to pick up my order, Mrs. Filone!” Gon announced into the service window.
“Here ya go, Gon,” a rough yet gentle woman replied, passing him a large paper bag over the counter, “Six pastry rolls, all ready for ye’.”
“Thank you!”
“Six?” Killua asked once they stepped away, a slight edge to his voice. “Is someone else visiting?”
“Well, the rolls are pretty sweet, so I thought you might have wanted an extra—”
“He got one for Nanika!” Alluka interrupted, tossing her arms in the air.
“You and Nanika share a stomach.” Gon saw Killua flash a feline-like expression, cradling his chin in the space between his thumb and pointer finger. “So give me half.”
“Big Brother!”
Gon offered without hesitation, “You can have mine!”
“Stay out of it Gon!” Killua sneered. “Anyways.” He put his hands into his pockets. “Thanks. Boat food sucks.”
Gon smiled large. “There’s more back at the house, too. You know how Aunt Mito cooks.”
Heading to the Freecss’ home, Gon walked behind the siblings, watching the dancing pins of light dapple Killua’s frame through the tree canopy. He had walked this exact trail through the forest countless times before, but this time through, it felt fresh and exciting, as if he had noticed new shades of green in the foliage. He and Killua told Alluka about the last time Killua visited Whale Island, and Gon was sure to identify any flora or fauna Alluka pointed out.
“So you’re in school?” Alluka asked Gon.
“Technically homeschool, but yeah!”
“Big Brother teaches me everything. On the way here, he was telling me all about, umm…” She touched a finger to her bottom lip. “What were we talking about?”
“Oh, just coastal barrier systems and the connection between their health and sea level rise. Nothing too important,” he assured, rubbing the crown of her head. Steam collected in Gon’s head while laughter rang from Alluka and she clapped her hands, pure bliss stretching over her face.
Killua smiled back at her sweetly before asking, “What’d you have to work on, Gon?”
“Well, I got pretty behind with my ‘Life as a Hunter’ essay, so I did a lot of that. I’m in the elaboration stage.”
Killua smirked. “You don’t say...”
“I know it doesn’t sound exciting, but I get to write a lot about you, Killua!”
The white-haired boy grumbled, cupping the back of his head.
“Can I read it when you’re done?” Alluka asked, holding her hands together behind her back.
“Definitely!”
From under a curtain of hair, Killua muttered, “I wonder if the school board will even believe anything you write.”
“Hmm,” Gon dipped his chin, able to see both appendages he had lost before. “I need at least one hand to write, so they should believe me.”
Wagging his head, Killua emitted a playful scoff. Gon glanced at him quizzically, and with a few more strides, the forest boundary was visible through the opening of trees before them. Gon instinctively quickened his pace, zipping between the siblings, urging them to Come on! with a hop and a wave.
Once his house came into view, he heard Alluka exclaim, “Big Brother! Gon lives on top of a mountain, too!”
Except there were no trials to enter Gon’s home, no soulless beasts or squads of butlers who use force and deceit as deterrents. Killua and Alluka would be welcomed here as friends anytime, no tests required.
The door slammed open with a proclamation, “Aunt Mito! Great-grandmother Abe! Killua and Alluka are here!” The two women observed him expectantly as he rushed into the house, leaving the door ajar. He reached the kitchen counters and flung the cabinets open, retrieving dishes for his guests’ breakfast. Moments later, the Zoldycks entered, decidedly less frenzied than Gon.
“Killua, it’s wonderful to see you again! And Alluka—I’ve heard so much about you!” Aunt Mito greeted, clapping her hands together, “How was your ride in? Help yourselves,” she offered, gesturing to the spread of food upon the kitchen table.
“Thanks, Aunt Mito. The ride was great,” Killua answered, kicking off his shoes and dropping his bag. “Captain Hetburn gives his regards.”
“Captain Hetburn,” She lowered her arms from drying a bowl and looked out the window over the sink. “He’s been doing that route since before you were born.”
“Killua, you met the captain?” Gon wondered. It seemed unlikely for Killua to casually pursue conversation with strangers.
“Well, Alluka introduced me. She, uh, makes friends with everyone.” Killua put a hand on her head as she enthusiastically studied the breakfast selection. “But who wouldn’t want to be friends with her?”
“Thank you so much! This looks sooo good!” Alluka chimed, her fingers interlaced under her chin.
“Killua, take the bags up with me!” The boys glared at each other before they romped up to the second level with minimal shoving, firm footsteps pounding loudly on each stair. Gon headed towards his bedroom, the cot on the floor peeking through the opening, but an additional pair of footsteps did not follow. He spun around to see his friend standing aloof with his hands in his pockets, staring at a painting on the wall.
“Don’t you have a guest room?” Killua distantly asked the picture before facing Gon.
The question landed like a thorn in Gon’s heart and he straightened his posture, his brow tightening.
“Yeah, just last time—” He stopped short. “Um, it’s the first door on the left,” he directed, pointing down the hall.
Killua nodded, casually looping one arm through his backpack strap, and headed towards the spare bedroom. Why did Gon feel like they were separating again, like every step Killua took away from him could be permanent? Killua could have had any reason to ask for their own room—privacy, comfort, but Gon could not shake that the request was personal. The corridor in front of him seemed to stretch longer, creating more space between the two; if Gon tried to follow him, he may never catch up.
“You just going to stand there?” Killua asked, pulling Gon from his own mind.
“Huh? No. Here.” He moved forward, offering Killua his sister’s bag. They descended the stairs together, much more quietly, a hollow sensation gnawing in Gon’s chest. He asked himself what else he had wrong about the two of them. Maybe this was one of those unspoken rules of growing older. He wondered but never questioned, as to not disturb the shaky foundation upon which they already stood.
When Gon reached the entryway of the kitchen, he could see Alluka and Aunt Mito actively engaged in conversation, Alluka smiling wide with her eyes closed, palms out in front of her chest. A smile curled softly on Gon’s face when he saw that Aunt Mito shared her happiness, eagerly absorbing every one of her words. He recognized that it was not often that Aunt Mito got to talk to a young girl, and he could imagine she saw some of herself from years ago in Alluka.
Killua approached his sister and showed her a grin as well. Gon reminded himself if Killua did not want to be here, he would not be, but it was probably best still to proceed with caution. Besides, Gon could live with being just a place to stay for Killua; at worst, that would mean he still got to spend time with him.
“You’re all going to the beach, right?” Aunt Mito questioned while Gon and Killua grabbed the backs of their seats. “Go after you finish eating. I’ll clean up.”
Gon took a half step back, protesting, “But Aunt Mito!”
“Do what I say, Gon!” Fear bristled down his vertebrae and he bowed frantically in response.
“Thank you!” The trio cheered in unison, hands joined below their chins. Gon reached for the table, but his arm was blocked by Killua stretching a plate in front of him.
“Alluka, serve yourself first,” he offered, casting a serious yet knowing glance at Gon. Gon’s brow pinched in confusion, but after a few seconds, he bobbed his head and dropped his limb at his side. The Zoldyck sister scooped a pile of fruit, eggs, some ham slices and placed one and a half sweet rolls onto her dish. Meanwhile, gravity became denser between Gon and Killua’s locked gazes.
Not a second after she retracted her plate, the boys sprang forward, devouring everything as fast as they could grab it. Alluka calmly poked at her food with her fork, smiling with each bite, and Great-Grandmother Abe hurried to the counter to prepare tea. In minutes, all the food was cleared from the table and with his mouth still stuffed, Gon beckoned Killua to help him pack for the beach. Rifling through a closet, they found and piled towels, sunscreen and other supplies into a basket to bring along.
Gon carried the basket to the front door, Alluka finished her meal, and they all changed into bathing suits before heading out the door shouting their goodbyes. The boys let Alluka walk ahead of them while they each carried a handle of the basket, walking side by side on the way to their destination. Gon explained that he knew of a secluded shoreline a short walk away, back down the hill away from town.
The basket bobbed rhythmically in between the two boys, a seamless synchronization in Gon and Killua’s gait. The three talked and laughed, recounting recent travels and travelers, weaving around trees and skipping over roots. To Gon’s dismay, Killua insisted on interspersing a few math equations throughout their conversation, and they quickly realized Alluka was more skilled in the subject.
“Hey!” Killua shouted upon stumbling. “Gon!”
Gon snickered, having deliberately shortened his stride to knock Killua off balance.
“I’m gonna throw sand in your eyes,” the white haired boy vowed, jaw clenched. His comment only made Gon laugh more audibly, partly due to a flood of nostalgia, and partly because of his resistance to the exact thing he just threatened.
Killua scoffed, “You’re probably gonna tell me you’ve practiced getting sand in your eyes since you were a kid or some sh—”
“Is that it!?” Alluka cried, arm fully extended, pointing to a dune just past the edge of the forest.
“Almost!” Gon clarified.
“Almost!” Nanika repeated, trotting forward with her arms outstretched. Gon and Killua trailed behind her, taking a few false starts before they could consistently match each other’s pace, blaming each other throughout the process. Gon directed them to a gap in the brush and they scaled the ridge, revealing an endless expanse of white sand and azure ocean.
“Wow!” Alluka cheered, hopping and raising her arms as high as she could reach. Killua and Gon, walking in a straight line, carrying the basket like a palanquin, placed their cargo on the ground to take in the view. Indeed, the three of them were completely alone, the beach their personal realm for the afternoon. Gon was tempted to mention the unobstructed sunrises he and Killua witnessed together as they traversed the NGL, but he kept the comparison to himself.
“Cool, isn’t it?” Killua asked his sister, his blue eyes glistening like their own seas under the sun.
“Uh-huh!” She beamed back, a smile encompassing her entire face.
Passing two towels to Killua, Gon wondered, “What are we waiting for, then?”
“Right!” Alluka announced, leaping forward.
“Alluka!” Killua called after her, “Sunscreen!”
“Aww…” She sauntered back, arms dangling in front of her. “Oka-aay.” With a chuckle, Gon laid his towel flat and Killua opened the bottle of sunblock.
Gon observed his friend’s gentleness, the same hands that he once witnessed tear out a man’s heart were now carefully gathering Alluka’s long streams of hair in a bunch. He handled her hair like silk, as if it would shred if he were not fully attentive and precise. Using an elastic, he tied her locks together so they would avoid touching her back when he smoothed lotion across her shoulder blades.
Alluka was his Kon—she was practically motherless, a precious being for whose survival he was solely responsible, and from what Gon had seen, Killua placed her comfort high above his own. With how many lives he had taken, years spent with killing ingrained into his very existence, and having been on the precipice of death countless times himself, perhaps he learned exactly what one needs to live, too.
Gon inhaled deeply, the taste of salt scraping against the back of his throat. Wisps of sand lightly grazed over his body, and lifting his chin, he charged himself in the sun, heat seeping into his skin. The spring air wove around him, insulating the warmth that had bloomed from witnessing Killua so content, so devoted, the sensation softening to his very core.
“Okay, ready!” Called Alluka, popping up from the ground. Gon turned to look at his friends, both wearing playful smiles.
They took off, their heels flinging up pockets of beach with each stride, laughter ringing from all of them. Gon’s feet slapped against the wet sand and he splashed into the receding tide, streams of water leaping all the way up his legs. He dove under the first sizable wave, creating his own current out to sea, the chill of the ocean piercing all the way to his bones.
When he surfaced, he saw Alluka dashing back to dry land, shrieking, “It’s freezing!”
“We did just come from Paruna,” he heard Killua say as they watched her flee.
“Where?” Gon questioned, barely glancing towards his friend.
“A resort country in the tropics. Aren’t you learning geography?”
In an instant, water rose around Gon’s face, sealing over his head, with Killua’s hands pushing down hard on his shoulders. Upon submerging, bubbles shot out of Gon’s nose, and he briefly floated in place under the waves, reveling in the sharp sensation of the cold sea. He swam in a circle, then dove deeper, touched the soft, slimy floor with the pads of his fingers, and pushed off, opening his eyes for a fraction of a second, but the perfect amount of time to locate—
“Agh!” Gon heard a garbled shout as he pulled Killua under by the ankle. He released his limb and propelled himself forward, immediately being pursued by Killua. They tumbled to shore, cyclically grabbing at and dodging around each other until they both flopped on the beach in front of Alluka.
“Big Brother! Make a sandcastle with me!” She excitedly demanded, leaning over the two collapsed boys.
“Sure thing, Alluka,” Killua said, his expression easing as he propped himself up on his elbows.
He fully rose, blocking the sun, light spilling from the edges of his frame around the shadow he cast over Gon. Gon watched him shake his hair out to the sound of Alluka yelping and jumping away, then comb it back with his fingers, setting his bangs perfectly across his forehead. He found himself staring intently at his friend’s display, and his eyes following as he and Alluka retrieved their supplies. The space next to him felt especially empty after Killua moved away.
“I’ll go grab some shells to decorate,” Gon offered, sitting up.
“Oh!” Alluka exclaimed, “Thanks, Gon!”
He bent his knees and jumped to his feet, heading for their supplies. He grabbed a pail and trotted back to the shoreline again, searching for small seashells with which to fill it. Water receded from beneath his feet, pulled back into the ocean, uncovering tiny bubbles in the sand before another wave crashed and slid onto the coast. Gon remembered showing Killua long ago where to find clusters of crabs beneath the little pockets of air.
He bent over to retrieve a cream and amber colored carapace, thinking there could be a possibility of the same things reminding Killua of him, too. Killua was here with him now, but he was still compelled to wander among memories, when he and Killua relied on each other. When he used to surprise him and marvel at the look on his face. When they were inseparable and still naive. He gazed towards the horizon, letting the notions go with the current and drift out to sea.
Shells rattling in his bucket, Gon returned to Alluka and Killua, applying their finishing touches to their sandcastle, consisting of a square keep with four turrets at each corner. The male Zoldyck carved crenellations into the sides with a stick and Gon offered Alluka his pail of shells. She squealed with glee and started placing them around the outside of the structure, matching and alternating shapes and colors.
After the last shell was placed, Killua insisted on taking a picture of the master architect with her creation. Looking upon the scene, Gon wore an equally large smile despite being out of frame of the photograph. He waited for the siblings to hug after the photo was captured, Killua praising his sister, then with a shovel in his hand, Gon ran a few paces down the beach, shouting, “Killua! Come help me!”
“Huh?” He replied, checking with Alluka before turning away from her, “What’d you find?!”
“Nothing!”
With a toothy grin, Killua ran towards him with his own spade, hollering, “Just like what’s in your head!”
“Big Brother!” Alluka chastised. She followed with no tools of her own, but to supervise the digging, which, according to Killua, was the most crucial role of the operation.
“Hey Killua, this feels familiar,” Gon commented, burying the end of his shovel. “Like we haven’t done enough digging!”
The only acknowledgment Killua gave to his statement was a soft ‘yeah’, but he too shoved his spade into the ground. Gon felt a dense feeling descend within his body as he watched Killua. They dug and dug quietly, and as the hole got deeper, began to hurl sand over their shoulders. Gon could not stifle his laughter when Killua tried to spit out sand that landed in his mouth, which produced some choice words from Killua and even more laughter.
“Just when I thought I could finally forget Bisky’s training,” Killua mentioned sarcastically.
Gon’s spirit lifted like a dandelion seed floating on the wind. It took them just a few minutes to hollow out a hole the three of them could fit within comfortably. Gon placed their tools above the ditch and sat down with his legs stretched before him, grinning at their effort.
“But… why?” Alluka asked, peering over the lip of the pit.
Gon’s feet slid under him, but he stayed low, his hair barely peeking over the edge of the hole. He crept forward, an absolutely wicked expression on his face, his line of sight locked on Alluka. She noticed and straightened up, her eyes stretching open.
“I wonder…” He retracted his arm ever so slowly. “Why!” He struck at her ankle, but she jumped, avoiding his attack with a flurry of laughter. Killua caught on immediately, pouncing cat-like towards his sister.
“No!” She protested, twisting and lifting a knee to evade Killua’s grasp. She scuttled around the rim of the pit, hopping and changing direction around their advances.
“Wait!” Suddenly, Alluka threw her arms out and halted, and Killua and Gon swiftly obliged. “Spread out!” She conducted them to opposite sides of the ditch before taking a few paces back and back surging forward.
She leapt over the hole, the boys transfixed as she careened past them. Her hair lifted behind her, and with her limbs outstretched she floated through the air. Gon and Killua pumped their arms and cheered, but the breath zipped out of Gon’s chest when she hit the other side and slid forward on her palms and shins.
“Alluka!” Killua cried. Gon felt his breath gust out of his lungs and could only inhale again after he saw her begin to rise. She jumped to her feet and twisted her trunk, posing with a hand on her hip.
“YEAH!” Gon and Killua bellowed fanatically, clapping and hollering at her performance.
They took turns bounding over the pit, playfully tagging at each other, comparing how far they could leap. When they got hungry, they threw snacks into the pit to see what they could catch in their mouths. Killua hoisted up Nanika ballet-style around her ribs so she could jump across, no matter how many times she cheered, ‘Again! Again!’
The trio found sticks on the beach and carved swirls, shapes and hieroglyphics into the wall of the structure, giving a name to each one of their designs. At one point, they all combed the beach and used new found shells to adorn their sand patterns. Once they were finished, Alluka snapped a picture and they packed up to head back to the Freecss’ residence. They reached the house right as the first fireflies were waking up for the evening, just in time to help prepare dinner after a quick bath.
Sitting at the dining table next to his sister, Killua announced, “Well, Alluka, now that they’re cooking, we can just chill,” His arms stretched up high before joining behind his head.
“Gon! Ms. Mito!” Alluka jolted towards them, pressing her palms on the table. “Can you please show me how to cook? Big Brother isn’t very good…”
“Yeah, come on!” answered Gon, beckoning her towards the stove.
“We have one more apron,” Aunt Mito announced, reaching into a drawer.
Killua squinted one eye as Alluka pranced over to the pair, clapping when Mito offered her the garment. Bouncing on her heels, Alluka spun around so Aunt Mito could tie the straps behind her back. She tightened the knot, and Gon saw Alluka’s face suddenly fall, as if she were witnessing an impending disaster.
“What about Big Brother?!” She cried.
“He’ll be okay. Killua can help with the dishes,” Aunt Mito declared plainly towards the white haired boy. Killua’s arms melted to his sides and he sank in his seat, meanwhile Gon stuck his tongue out towards him to rub it in further, and Nanika agreed with a ‘Kay.’
Gon could not bask in his friend’s misery for long as Aunt Mito began to bark orders. Her expansive menu consisted of a casserole, soup, fish filets, fried shrimp, salad and a few other plates Gon lost track of as he ran around the kitchen following the chef’s orders. Although evenings like this, hosting guests, were scarce, he understood the high risk of getting walloped by a wooden spoon if he interfered with Aunt Mito’s cooking.
Dishes began to collect in the sink while the rest chopped, mixed and cooked and Killua lifted himself from his seat, sulking over to the counter. Gon was blending a tomato sauce in a bowl, but paused when he saw Killua in his periphery.
“You probably want to wait for an apron so you don’t get wet,” he mentioned, turning to face him.
He responded with flicking water onto his torso, telling him, “Worry about yourself, Gon.”
Gon’s eyes slit and he returned to his station. He heard snippets of Aunt Mito coaching Alluka on the different recipes and their techniques, her tone subdued throughout. She had noticeably different attitudes reserved for hunters and non-hunters, and Gon was relieved she made the distinction for Alluka.
As for himself, he would not change a thing; he was more than accepting of his guardian’s threats for causing her so much worry throughout the years. Besides, he was still a hunter, and anticipating his target’s next move was basic training. He handed her the appropriate utensil for which the recipe asked, brought her more flour when the stock was looking thin, and he should have definitely known by now that, ‘Olive oil isn’t a neutral oil!!!’
Preparing became plating and Gon placed the first platter on a far corner of the table, knowing the entire surface would fill before all of the food was served. He rubbed the throbbing lump on his head and returned to the counter to collect more dishes, stacking them up his arms. In a whirl of movement, the plates were all set with the Freecss and the Zoldycks seated around them, portioning out the different meals and passing them along.
Gon’s cheeks stung with glee, an unabating smile cemented onto his face. Despite quiet protesting, Aunt Mito insisted that the siblings eat more than their fill, and Gon secretly switched plates with Alluka when his aunt was not looking. He knew because she could not protect them out in the world, she overcompensated with sanctuary in her home.
Gon ate slowly for a change, savoring the variety of flavors and company, and more than anyone else, Killua caught his eye, even when he was not speaking. It was still unbelievable to Gon that his friend was sitting here in his home again. There was a time where he was convinced that he would not make it out of East Gorteau alive, and he still may have had doubts whether he and Killua’s relationship would survive, but he was by his side now, and it was amazing.
Since they met, this morning had marked the end of the longest period they had ever been apart. Prior to their separation at the World Tree, the longest had been after the Hunter Exam, when Illumi tricked him into going back home, but even then, most of Gon’s time was spent trying to retrieve him. The two of them shared updates over the phone over the months away from each other, but it was nothing like being near him and seeing his mannerisms, how he folded his arms behind his head and closed his eyes when he smiled.
Their plates gradually emptied among conversations about the past year and refills of tea. Regret pricked at Gon with each mention of jungle tours, traditional garb and ancient monuments, but its sharpness was from a desire to experience it all alongside Killua. Despite his time away, sent in all directions of the world, the parts of him that Gon held so dearly remained intact; hopefully, Killua would realize that Gon was changing, or at least trying not to be as impulsive and reckless.
Gon was boundlessly grateful to still be able to laugh with Killua, that they still liked and cared about the same things. Even though there was distance between them, Killua had not become any less important to Gon. He still cherished his talent and skill, his cool nature yet his proclivity to outbursts, his vast knowledge and his love of sweets…
“Oh!” Gon exclaimed, sliding his chair back. “I’ll be right back!” He went to a cupboard and pulled out a woven bucket, carrying it over and spilling its contents upon the table. Wrapped candies scattered over the flat surface, crinkling sounds accompanying each tumble of the morsels.
“A candy merchant came through a couple months ago! I haven’t even made a dent in what I bought,” Gon said.
“Ha, nice, Gon,” Killua commented, sounding almost hesitant, his lips smiling but his eyes not. Did he just need to taste one? Gon rifled through the pile and picked up a bright yellow candy.
“Hey, this one’s chocolate. You should try it, Killua,” he suggested, rotating it to read the description. “Has some… lemon center or something.”
Alluka pulled the edges of a wrapper, twisting open a second candy, and suddenly perked up. “Gon! Aunt Mito! Big Brother said you might have some pictures from when he was here last!”
“Hmm…” Aunt Mito pondered, chewing a bonbon, “We should have one or two. Gon, they’re in the chest in the living room. Killua—” She glared daggers at him, causing him to shiver. “You’re off the hook for the rest of the dishes,” she finished, pointing her head to the side, indicating he belonged in the living room with them too.
“Thank you, Aunt Mito,” Killua said with a shallow bow after rising from his seat.
Gon repeated thanks of his own and scooped the candies off the edge of the table back into the basket. He beckoned the siblings to the living room and they sat on the floor while he headed towards the trunk containing the photos. He lifted the top, extracted a box, and joined his friends.
“So… This is the box with all my stuff, they should be in here,” Gon clarified, shuffling through the stack. He thumbed through pictures of him as a young child, his first-caught fish, playing in the ocean and standing on a stool in front of the stove, among others. Then, tucked under another childhood memory, was black and white hair and huge smiles. Gon’s heart swelled with nostalgia and uncertainty, unsure of how much space each feeling occupied.
Gon flipped the image around so as to not get lost in it, saying, “Alluka, look.” Killua’s eyes followed the card as Gon passed it over, his expression indistinguishable. In the muddle, Gon could pick out fondness, maybe disgust or bittersweet sadness. Maybe all and maybe neither.
“Big Brother! You look different!”
“What do you mean, Alluka?” Killua said jovially, “That was barely two years ago.”
“Yeah, but I wasn’t with you then!” She held the picture closer to her nose. “Ha-ha, you were short!”
“Hey! No fair!” Killua protested, snatching the picture from her.
“Ki-llua cute!” A pink hue dusted Killua’s face from his sister’s compliment. “Gon!” Nanika chanted, pointing at the box of photographs. Gon blinked a few times in response to her supposed request.
“Oh,” Gon scooted the container closer to her. “Go ahead!”
“‘Kay.” Nanika picked up a few cards individually, nodding and audibly verifying each one of them featured ‘Gon.’
Killua and Gon smiled at her as she made her way through the stack. Killua was still pinching the picture of the two of them with their arms around each other’s shoulders, the current distance between them palpable. Gon noticed Killua glance at the photo, then drop it in the box, the falling picture mirroring the same sensation inside of Gon’s chest.
“This one looks recent,” Alluka stated, holding up a photograph of Gon posing with a group of men, some covered in bandages. “What happened?”
“Oh, I helped rescue some people from a shipwreck during some high winds.”
“What?!”
“Yeah! I was in town helping block windows and tie things down and I heard the alert of an incoming ship from the mainland. They miscalculated and ended up here.”
“Wo-aaah! Was everyone okay?!”
“Yep! Only the crew was on board, and they wrecked close enough to land that I just jumped right in with a rope and tied it to their lifeboat!” He looked at his white-haired friend, whose gaze was focused elsewhere. “I told you about that, right, Killua?”
“You sure did,” Killua said, pushing off his thighs to stand.
“Big Brother, that reminds me! I need a picture of you and Gon for when I leave you two together again, so I have something to remember you by!”
Killua made a slight noise that sounded like choking, pressing his hand to his mouth. He cleared his throat and gently assured, “Yeah, Alluka, we will.”
To Gon, his promise sounded brittle as an avian bone, solid at a glance, but hollow within. Passing behind Alluka, Killua pinched her lightly on the shoulder. “It’s late, time for bed.”
“Hmm…” she uttered, bunching a fist to her eye. “Yeah, I guess I am tired.”
“Oh, uh, goodnight?” Gon said, shuffling the photos together.
“Goodnight, Gon,” Killua said, barely peeking behind him.
Following a yawn, Alluka repeated, “Goodnight.”
Gon watched them fade away into the dark hallway and up the stairs, an empty feeling within him gaping wider. He stacked the pictures back into the box, absently tossing the images in a pile. He took one last glance at the photograph of him from the rescue mission; could there be something about it that bothered Killua? Was he upset that Gon put himself in danger? He was not helpless, but he was nothing compared to his power a year ago.
If Killua would just tell him how to mend their relationship, he would do it—he would do anything for him, suppress any bad habit or trait. He dropped the picture into the box with the rest, tucking it back into the storage chest, resisting the quiet urge to sprint outside and launch it into the ocean. He slid upstairs, barely picking up his feet, mindlessly conducted his nightly routine and fell on his bed.
Despite his friend nearby, just down the hall, Gon felt as if they were still continents away. He recognized the cracks between him and Killua; they were small enough that they were easy to look past, but one wrong step and he would be swallowed into the void. He would keep offering his hand to help Killua across, but it was ultimately up to him if he would take it. Maybe Gon really did screw everything up between them. Maybe there were things he said that could never be retracted, no matter how many times he apologized.
Through the darkness, Gon could make out the photograph of the three of them near the World Tree, smiles genuine enough to trick anyone. Since Killua recovered Alluka, it must be that he did not need Gon like he did before. It was probably that Killua never needed him in the first place, it was all Gon who needed support for all his wild ideas, and for someone else to pick up the pieces the outcomes left behind. He rolled onto his back, the black ceiling murky in his vision. Rescuing Alluka was the best thing that could have happened to Killua—she gave him a reason to leave Gon.
Gon shoved the base of his palms into his eye sockets, leaving behind a wet spot when he removed them. He rolled towards the wall, tears pooling on his pillow. He hoped more than anything that Killua was happier now, and he hoped no one else would ever treat him the same way he did. Consumed with so much hatred that he was willing to forget everything he loved… Gon made Killua feel like nothing, coaxing him in with promises of friendship and trust just to throw him away.
Sniffling, he pulled his sheet up to his chin and turned over, a cloudy sky visible through the open window. Killua would still be here tomorrow, and maybe right now, he was looking out at the same sky, wishing it would clear before the sun rose. At least he did not smell incoming rain, Gon thought, forcing his eyes shut. Consciousness slipped away from him, softening the tightness wound in his chest. Only a dreamless sleep could be respite from his worries.
In the morning, Gon was at the kitchen table, forcing his way through an algebra lesson when he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. He twisted to see who they belonged to, but they halted halfway through the descent. Gon’s forehead scrunched together and he opened his mouth, but before he said anything, the strides resumed.
“Killua!” He exclaimed once the boy came into view.
“Hey Gon.”
“Oh!” His head snapped towards the oven. “We haven't even started breakfast!”
“It’s fine. I’m not hungry yet.”
“Okay. Well, is Alluka coming down?”
“She likes to sleep in a little, and most of the time, I let her. How could I say no?” He shrugged nonchalantly, then leaned against the doorframe, eyes swiveling around the room. “So… You got something due?”
“Nah,” Gon said, forcing a smile, “I just had trouble sleeping so I thought I might as well work on some stuff.”
“How studious of you.” He freed his shoulder from the wall. “You’ll catch up to Leorio in no time.”
Gon flapped his arms down over his work, ducking his head. “I don’t know how he does it!”
Exasperated, Killua told him, “Calm down!” He groaned, tousling the back of his hair, and Gon watched him meander briefly at the far side of the kitchen before he approached the table.
“So yesterday, we couldn’t go in the water, but uh—” Gon’s brow rose. “Do you want to go now?”
Gon flew up out of his seat. “Yes! Morning tide is best for cliff jumping!” He shimmied himself out from between the chair and the table, continuing, “I should have some swimsuits on the clothesline!”
His heartbeat flailed like a fish on land as he ran outside. Killua pulled the sun out for Gon, scattering his thoughts that thrived in the dark. A quiet part of him wondered when Alluka might let him go, as she was insistent on saying. It was without a doubt that Gon hurt him intentionally, so time was the material they needed to fully rebuild their relationship. Gon wanted to figure out how to squeeze himself into the open spaces of Killua’s life without burdening him. He needed to show Killua he could fully trust him again, and maybe in some future, if he were so lucky, Killua would help him with another hunt.
The first time they visited the island together, it had been early in their adventure, and yet, they experienced a freedom and excitement together that was hard to find anywhere else in the world. But perhaps, it was simply because they were together. Now, it was not the same, but that did not mean it could not still be good. Friendships change—it was not like Gon spent much time with Leorio and Kurapika lately either—but with Killua, the loss was discernibly more palpable. He held absolutely no resentment towards Alluka, Killua’s gain was his gain, and really, he only had himself to blame for his own situation. He decided to put his current focus on Killua.
The following half hour was jumping, screaming, swimming and splashing. They started with taking turns leaping into the sea, then silently and simultaneously decided both of them absolutely needed to be the first one in. They grabbed at each other’s arms and shoulders, pulling each other back in a clamorous and rowdy dance, until Gon yanked Killua into a bear hug and plummeted with him. He could barely hear his friend berating him over his own cackling, and before they plunged, chests pressed together, he felt they might stop falling entirely and float on the air.
They sank into the water and broke apart, Killua hacking violently upon surfacing, accusing Gon of trying to kill him. After hoisting themselves back onto the cliffside, Gon stared at the drops of water streaming down Killua’s snow hair and pearl skin. As Alluka’s guardian, Killua had developed a gentleness hidden from Gon throughout the duration of their time together, but his new role had not fully smoothed down the rough boy to whom Gon had grown so close.
“What are you looking at?!” Killua demanded.
“You!” Gon called back, smile widening.
His cheeks flared bright pink. “Shut up!”
“Big Brother?” They heard a diminutive voice utter from far away and they hurried towards the house. Approaching the building, they could see Alluka through Gon’s bedroom window, eyes heavy and hair in every direction.
“Alluka! Good morning! How are you?” Killua called from the ground.
“I wanna’nother sweet roll,” she yawned. Grinning, the boys exchanged glances and ran inside to prepare for the outing. While Killua went upstairs with Alluka, Gon helped Aunt Mito pack their bags with sandwiches, made using leftovers from the prior night, and other snacks to accompany their pastries.
They left within the hour and arrived at the bakery where three rolls were waiting for them, just as flaky and equally as glazed as the day before. They paid, thanking the baker, then found a spot on the pier near the water to lay down a blanket. The food, even cold on the second day, was delicious, and they all shared their appreciation for Aunt Mito. When they finished, full and satisfied, they tidied up and sat watching the waves.
“What should we do today?” Killua wondered aloud.
“I want to do something other than the beach,” Alluka mentioned. “Are there any museums?”
“Well… No,” said Gon.
“Historical sites?” Killua questioned.
“Hah…” Gon squinted his eyes. “No.”
Alluka asked, “Shops?”
“Yeah! But they don’t open till 11:00 or noon...”
“11:00 or noon?!” What kind of unserious place is this?” Killua muttered.
“What is open?” Alluka inquired.
“The diner, the bakeries, the fish market should open soon… and at least one bar.”
Rolling his eyes, Killua commented, “Always classy, Whale Island.”
“Big Brother, stop it! You wanted to come here, too, remember?” Alluka argued, puffing out her cheeks with her hands on her hips. Killua’s face screwed together and his shoulders shot up, as if something had just fallen on his head.
“Umm…” Gon touched a finger to his chin before pointing upward. “We could go fishing!” He did tuck his gear into his pack before leaving, after all.
“Sounds a little gross,” Alluka said hesitantly.
“It kind of is!” Gon confirmed with a laugh. His smile fell when he noticed the enduring silence from the pair.
“I think we’re trying to steer clear of gross,” Killua grumbled.
“Oh, sorry.” Gon wrung out a strained grin before offering, “Let’s walk around for a bit, see what we can find.” Truthfully, he had no idea what Alluka’s interests were. She shared her brother’s affinity for sugary foods, she could heal people, she loved Killua… Gon had a lot to learn.
He led them through the white brick and red roofed streets of Whale Island. They read the door signs on the identical buildings, Killua quickly noticing how many were dedicated to fish and fishing. When they reached the central fountain, each threw a coin into the water with a bow and a silent wish. Alluka somehow convinced Killua to let her buy an additional sweet roll on the condition that she wait to eat it, but she was the most enthralled when they passed by a window at a far end of town.
“Gon! What is that?!”
“That’s a foxbear!” He answered, referring to the plushie inside. “They’re native to this area and the mainland.”
“They’re so cute!” She hopped and spun towards Killua. “Can I get one, Big Brother?”
“Of course, Alluka. Come on.”
He led his sister inside the building, Nanika happily chanting ‘fox-bear, fox-bear.’ When Gon stepped in, he was struck by the contrast of the bright afternoon scene to the interior; even with windows, it seemed this place repelled light. Dim illumination barely touched the black and white checkered floors, and the brown painted walls had suffered many gashes and scrapes, exposing the plasterboard underneath. Tall round tables were scattered around the floor, and a single woman was behind a worn bar that spanned the entire length of the room.
“We don’t serve children,” crackled from her raspy throat. The brown nest of hair stacked on top of her head bobbed as she spoke.
“Hi, Ms. Leida, we’re not looking to order anything,” explained Gon.
“We want the toy in the window,” Killua interrupted, pointing a thumb over his shoulder towards the plush.
“Only way to get that is by playing the game in the corner.” She pointed behind them and they turned, all noticing a claw machine, an assortment of toys sitting within its glass box.
“You heard the lady,” Killua passed between Gon and Alluka, rubbing his hands together and shaking them out. Gon exchanged a glance with the sister Zoldyck, and they reluctantly proceeded, standing behind Killua on either side.
Fumbling around the lower panel, Killua deposited a coin into a slot. The contraption lit up, their reflections staring back at them, revealing a clear divide in anticipation. Gon and Alluka watched, quietly encouraging him for a couple rounds, but became weary with a string of failures. Even suggesting the game was rigged did nothing to abate Killua’s determination, because he insisted there was always a way to scam the scammer.
After what had to be the tenth try, each time Killua experiencing an intense freefall of excitement to disappointment, only Gon noticed Alluka prance over to the bar and introduce herself to the woman working. No reply.
“I like your bar!” She expressed. A grunt in response.
“How long have you been working here?” She wondered, tilting her head to the side.
“Doesn't matter what you say, little lady. No free rides,” was the woman’s only response.
Alluka shuffled back to the boys. “Let’s wait outside…” she requested, her tone deflated. Gon slinked away with her, leaving Killua as the only patron. Outside, Gon and Alluka picked out a bench on the same block to stop.
“Sorry about Ms. Leida. She’s a tough one to crack,” Gon explained sympathetically.
“I’m sorry Big Brother is doing this… I would have never agreed if I knew that was the only way to get the foxbear!” She threw her arms down with a forceful whine.
“Don’t worry!” Her frown dipped lower and Gon continued with a wobbly grin, “We can think of what else to do now!”
“Okay...” They both hummed in thought, Alluka speaking first. “What parts of the island haven’t we seen?”
“Most of it is either forest or farm, so there’s not too much else. But actually…” He pinched his chin with his fingers. “The ship from the picture yesterday: it’s still there, we can go see it!”
“Yeah!” Yet her excitement quickly dissipated. “If we can go… It’s impossible to pull him away once he gets started,” she complained, finishing with a sigh.
“I know how Killua can get; I’ve seen him like this before.”
“Really?!” Her blue eyes shimmered with curiosity.
Gon tipped his head to her enlivened reaction. His mind flashed to Killua’s subdued, possibly even annoyed reaction to Gon mentioning Greed Island yesterday. It was possible that Killua had not shared anything about their adventures together. He did not want to pry in front of Alluka, but he also did not want to interrupt the fun he and Killua had alone this morning.
“Has Killua told you about Greed Island at all?”
“The video game?” She reached her arm to the bottom of the brown paper bag.
“Yeah!” Gon affirmed, thrilled that Killua still spoke of it.
“But it’s not really a video game… It’s nen?”
“Pretty much!”
“Okay,” she said sing-song, lifting out her pastry. “So what about Big Brother?!”
“Right! He was so into the slot machines, in order to pry him away, our mentor had to knock him out cold!”
Alluka slumped. “Awh… That’s not very fun…”
“Yeah, she was a little rough on us. But we couldn’t have won without her!”
“Are you writing about her, too?” She wondered, preceding a bite.
“Yeah, of course!” Gon swung his legs under the bench. “You also have a part in my essay, Alluka.”
“I do?!” Her face brightened, no trace of shadow remaining.
“Mm-hmm,” Gon confirmed, “Not a huge one, ‘cause I was still unconscious when you visited me for the first time, and I don’t want to say too much because I want to keep you and Killua safe.” His voice trailed off. “But you’re still in there!”
“I can’t wait to read it!” She waved her hands, then joined them on her lap. Closing her eyes briefly, her lids opened to reveal black pits. “Me too?”
“Of course, Nanika,” he assured with a soft smile.
She stared at him with her abysses, a minuscule smile fixed on her face. Gon’s eyes rolled around, eventually landing in his lap. He brought his hand up and hovered it behind her head before patting it one, two, three times. Nanika melted into a fit of giggles and Gon laughed along. It was easy to be happy around the two of them, Gon thought. Although, it would be nice if Killua were around, too.
“Ki-lu-ah!” Nanika chimed. Gon opened his eyes, and indeed, saw Killua charging towards them.
“Where’s the nearest ATM?” Killua demanded to know once he was close enough, his hair unkempt and the past hour embedded deeply under his bulging eyes.
“Killua! No!” Nanika wagged her head desperately.
Killua appeared somehow even more crazed, arguing back, “One more time, Nanika! I got this.”
She jumped off of the bench, puffing her cheeks, her now blue eyes widening. “I don’t want it anymore!”
“It won’t take long, I promise!”
“It’ll be too hard to carry when we go hiking!”
“What? Hiking? When?” His eyes darted around his head like flies in a jar.
“Right now! Or we’re gonna leave you behind, Big Brother!” Stomping, she pointed directly at him, practically touching his nose.
Killua crushed his eyes shut and shook his head rapidly. He patted his palm to his forehead so it made a little slapping sound, and when he removed his hand, a dull red mark remained on his skin.
“I’m sorry, Alluka. I’m sorry, Nanika.” His arms fell at his sides. “Will you forgive me?”
“‘Kay,” Nanika agreed, and Killua signaled for her to come in for a hug.
When they separated, Killua rubbed Nanika’s head, telling them, “I’m ready now.”
They cut through the west end of town, towards the forest at the far end of the island, away from Gon’s home. The landscape was mostly the same as yesterday’s trek, save for boulders punctuating the ground that had slipped from the Whale’s back over the centuries, but a footpath was carved either around or through them. Eventually, Gon gravitated towards a sheer rock wall, breaking from the Zoldycks.
“I can get to the top of this cliff in a minute!” Gon called out, pointing ahead. “Watch!”
He bounded towards the wall, his pulse increasing, excitement and a tinge of apprehension rushing through his blood. Reaching the rock face, he sprang up, bringing his hands to his shoulders to latch on to a miniscule ledge using the tips of his fingers, his thumbs digging into the underside of the stone. His toes pressed into the rock surface, he pushed off of the vertical, jumping diagonally to grab a deeper indent with his right hand.
Dangling parallel to the surface, he tucked his knees near his chest and gripped the shelf with both hands, hanging like a fruit on a branch, then propelled himself upwards with his arms and legs. His next target was a wider gash that both feet could find purchase on, but oh damn his foot slipped and he flung both arms out in front of him to grab onto the ridge with his hands. He pulled himself up, standing on the crack, ankles rotated perpendicular to his body, bending over and pressing the pads of his fingers to the wall to balance.
One more, he reminded himself, clutching the rock with just his fingertips again. He twisted his trunk, nose to the wall, and lodged his toes on the ledge before leaping one last time, touching down with both hands and feet on the flat surface above the wall.
He stood and turned around, looking over the edge and panting. Not a personal record, but a beautiful ascent nonetheless.
“You call that climbing?!” Killua teased from the ground, hands cupped around his mouth. He bent his legs, preparing to jump.
His knees flexed, but when one of his feet left the ground, he stumbled, hopping multiple times before steadying himself. Standing on one limb, he spun towards his sister, his expression alarmed.
“Alluka!” He held out his arms. “Please, come with me!”
“Ya-aaaay!” She cheered, leaping towards him and hooking her arms around his neck.
She nuzzled her face into his chest and he stroked her hair, then lifted her bridal style. He scaled the wall with just his legs, jumping onto a tree trunk growing out of the cliffside, then toeing on a narrow ledge, until he reached the top, still holding Alluka the same way in his arms. She giggled as he lowered her to the ground, and Gon could not detect any fear in her from their ascent—she and him both trusted Killua with their lives.
Kneeling to her height, Killua cupped the back of her head, asking, “Will you stay here and watch Gon and I climb?”
“Hmm…” She touched a finger below her mouth, considering his request. “No!”
Gon heard a thud in his ears and the boys leaned back, surprise and confusion contorting their faces.
Repositioning, Killua wondered sweetly, “Alright, what would you like to do?” She scrunched her lips together, pointing her eyes upwards. She pondered for a few moments, Gon and Killua waiting attentively.
“I’ve got it!” She jumped and threw her hands up, arms and legs spread. She then ducked and dashed to the side, filling one hand with leaves, and picking tiny wildflowers with the other.
“You’re going to climb, and I’m going to throw these off the top!” She raised her clenched fists next to her head. “Leaves are one point, flowers are two: whoever catches the highest score wins!”
Killua and Gon turned towards each other, visibly sharing the same combination of awe and agreement. Alluka was only stoking the flame of competition with her idea, but it was clear that neither Gon nor Killua had any issue with adding an extra dimension to their contest, especially if it meant a bigger challenge.
The two leapt off the cliff side, both landing softly on the lower level. Gon puffed air from his nose, furrowing his brow; if Killua was going to approach this competition like he did the Hunter Exam, he would go exclusively for the highest number of points. Alluka collected more leaves than flowers, but Gon did not know exactly how much, so only going after leaves would be a risky strategy.
“ON THE COUNT OF ‘GO!’” Alluka shouted from above, breaking Gon’s concentration. A tiny yet forceful thought invaded his mind like a termite chewing through wood: he and Killua had not competed since Gon lost his ability to use nen. He wondered if he stood a chance. Would this be a competition at all?
“ONE!” Gon glanced over to Killua, who shifted his legs apart. Gon imitated his stance.
“TWO!” They lowered themselves to the ground.
“GO!” Alluka yelled, tossing the foliage into the air.
“See you at the top.” Killua phased from Gon’s vision, reappearing meters above him.
Gon shook his head once and pounced up the rock face. He aligned his thoughts, constructing his course of action. There were two objectives: collecting points and maneuvering around Killua, and his main focus should be on the latter. The targets were predictable, floating down at a consistent speed and direction; it was harder to infer how a trained assassin would approach this situation.
With one hand and one foot in holds, Gon quickly plotted and began to execute a climb across the facade, jumping sideways and extending his arm but Killua dashed past him, causing him to lose momentum and he caught himself on a lower ledge, gritting his teeth in pain as his elbows overextended from the force. He crushed his eyes shut for a second and pushed himself back up, changing direction midair, which resulted in him and Killua colliding.
Gon let himself fall to the lower ground while Killua grumbled obscenities from the wall. Killua was much faster than Gon, but that did not mean he could cover the whole wall at once. Gon sprinted to his pack, just a few feet away, and snatched his fishing rod. He scrambled back up the cliff face, drawing a mental path of two leaves and a flower, and cast his line, whipping the rod halfway through the intake in order to hook all three. Killua looked stunned, then diabolical.
They darted around the wall, slipping under each others’ grasps and grazing past each other in the air. When Alluka called time, both heaved themselves over the edge of the cliff, breathlessly landing on the ground. Gon was keeled over, Killua leaned back, but at the exact same moment, they locked eyes and stood upright, eagerly presenting their hauls to Alluka.
“Okay!” She declared, “Gon: four leaves and one, two, three flowers makes ten points!” Turning to Killua, she judged his hand. “And three flowers and six leaves make… Big Brother wins!”
Killua posed and laughed haughtily and Gon dropped his shoulders expelling an, “Aww.” Killua did always seem to catch on faster than Gon, and yet, Gon had not had that much fun since he last played a game with him. He wondered how much farther past him Killua had progressed in the last year.
A ring of laughter refocused their attention on Alluka. “You two are so fun together!” She praised, clapping, her cheeks colored pink.
Gon looked at Killua and Killua dipped his head down. A smile pulled at Gon’s lips and waves of sunlight crashed within his chest because everything felt so familiar. His thoughts of ineptitude were snuffed out by the soft comfort settling among their group. Besides, Killua did not beat him by that much.
“Ki-llu-ah! Did you like game?”
“It was the best, Nanika.”
“It was awesome!” Confirmed Gon.
She repeated, clapping, “Game! Game!” and Killua draped his arm across her shoulder blades, directing her along as the three of them descended the wall and proceeded on the route. It was mid-afternoon, so partway through their journey, they stopped to share some food. Lately, Gon had been curing fish, drying fruit and collecting nuts, and he dispersed his snacks among the trio. His smile grew when Killua complimented the flavors.
They packed up and resumed their hike. Time and distance melted amidst good conversation, and before long, they reached the site of the shipwreck.
“Bad accident,” Gon explained as they gazed upon it, Alluka consistently oohing. “We were going to remove it, but it's really lodged into the seabed.”
“It’s even worse in person,” Killua commented.
The boat was tilted back, the stern dipping into the bay. It appeared as if it was scaling a ramp or being dragged up to the heavens, going in a direction no boat should go.
Alluka looked at it sideways. “How did that even happen?”
“You can’t see now, but during low tide, there’s some pretty tall rocks in the water,” Gon pointed, dragging his finger across the horizon. “They got blown into them and gashed the hull right open.”
“Why did they not tip over from the wind?” Alluka wondered.
“Boats are weighted down with some pretty heavy stuff built in,” answered Killua.
“Then why don’t they sink?!”
He answered through a smile, “Because they’re full of air, Alluka.” He brought his hand to the back of her head and ran his palm down her hair a few times.
“Big Brother, you’re so smart!”
Killua smirked devilishly.
“He sure is!” Gon chimed.
Killua flinched. “Cut that out!”
“I love Kii-llua,” Nanika slurred.
“I love you too.” He crouched down next to her, wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss to her hair. Gon smiled at the interaction, calmness swirling within him like sweet vapor. Killua had been able to sever himself completely from the gruesome demands and depraved treatment from the rest of his family, revealing an equally natural side of tender compassion. The Zoldycks were full of surprises.
“Do you have any questions, Nanika?” Killua inquired.
“Uhhmmm.” The boys stared in anticipation as Nanika tipped her head, thinking deeply. “No!” Killua and Gon laughed with her while Killua patted her head, thanking her for her contribution.
Gon looked back at the ship, and stepped closer to the edge of the dropoff. He bent and leaned, trying to find an angle to see inside through the windows. “One of the people we recovered was really upset that his stuff was still on board, but he had to leave the island before he could retrieve it. It’s become kind of a local myth that there’s treasure inside.”
“Woah! Has anyone tried to find it?” Alluka inquired.
“Ha, yeah. I have!”
“Is that thing even stable?!” Killua shouted.
“You’ve been inside!?” Alluka shrieked simultaneously, pressing her fingertips against her cheeks.
Gon pulled the fishing rod from his pack, wielding it in front of his hips, like one might hold a longsword.
“Last time I was here, I couldn’t find anything decent, so I want to try again.”
“Don’t you think it’s like, eroded since then?” Killua interrogated sharply.
“Hasn’t been that long,” Gon mentioned, holding the rod with one hand and crouching to jump.
“Just…” Hearing Killua’s sharp tone, Gon looked behind him. “Be careful.” Killua breathed a long sigh and shoved his hands in his pockets, looking to the side.
“I will.” He nodded, showing him the same seriousness that he would give a mission from the Hunter Association.
Gon vaulted over the space between the island and the ship, landing slanted on the exposed part of the deck. He lowered himself to the floor and slid down until he reached the front window of the hull, where he leaned over and slid open a side window. Wriggling himself into the ship, he kept a tight hold on the outside, rooting his heels onto the inside of the window frame before releasing his grip.
He looked around for some additional purchase, and stepped one foot down to a vertical—now skewed—beam. The other foot remained behind him, on the ledge of the window frame, and he whipped his fishing rod to the side for leverage. He arched it back and cast the line, reeling it in in intervals, attempting to latch onto something on its way in. At times, he could feel the hook graze against whatever items laid beneath the gray water, sensing some tension, or even extracting a waterlogged scrap of debris, but nothing with any promise.
Every day, he must do a similar motion to this at least a hundred times, waving his pole backwards and forwards, core engaged, but the majority of his casts were from level ground. He flung the rod in front of him, and the heel of his boot inched forward, slipping to the edge of his precipice, and he leaned back to counterbalance the motion. The water below held the unknown, obscured by pollution and shadow, and as he wobbled in place, Killua’s words rang through his mind.
He would not tell Gon to be careful if he did not truly mean it. Gon’s pulse raced faster still, and although he wished Killua would never worry about him, he vowed to be more cautious. Sweat trickled down his forehead and spine, and he rotated his neck, an aching stiffness seeping into his bones, yet he had determination to spend. Reel, whip, cast, over and over.
The line pulled taught. He had hooked on to something. It was not moving, and he needed to be careful as to not sever the line. He jerked the pole, hoping to dislodge whatever was caught, hoping it was worth the effort, and he cranked the handle and leaned back and a leather sack flew to the surface. It was heavy—what was inside?
“I found this!” Gon declared once he returned, holding up a box. Killua’s brow raised, but he stayed put, crossing his arms in front of him. Alluka bounced closer to Gon, who held the answer to the mystery.
“Well, it was inside of a bigger bag, but everything else besides it was totally ruined,” Gon clarified.
“Have you opened the box yet?” questioned Alluka.
“No, it’s locked.” He rotated it in his grip, studying the treated wood.
“Not this again.” Killua moved forward and snatched it from Gon’s fingers, pulling his elbows up and twisting around. From behind Killua, Gon could see him fidget with the container, seemingly pushing it together and pulling it apart until it made a metallic clinking sound.
“What is it!?” Alluka tried to peek over and around his shoulder, but her efforts were futile, as he held it too high for her to see. “Big Brother?”
Another beat passed, they could hear the sloshing of the waves below, then he spun back, lowering the box so she could see the contents. “There’s a pouch and a note inside,” he explained to Alluka, “You’ve been working so hard lately, I want you to read the note.”
She extended her hand slowly, plucking the slip of paper from her brother’s possession. She scrunched her brow, studying the words for a time, and whispered a few things back and forth to Killua. After a big breath, she read:
If I lost you, I would surely lose myself. Wear this when we are apart, so that I may always be by your side.
As if on instinct, Gon glanced at Killua. He was looking down, his eyes concealed beneath a layer of white hair.
Alluka announced, “It’s a love letter! Kind of short and sad, though.” She cocked her head, her brow scrunched. “Where are the compliments about how pretty she is?”
Killua placed a hand on her shoulder and shrugged. “Some people suck at that sort of thing.”
“He should’ve gone looking for more paper,” Gon suggested.
Grinning down at Alluka, Killua moved the box closer to her. “You want to open the pouch?”
She gasped sharply with excitement. “Yes!” She went to grab the sack, but Killua quickly retracted it.
“You can only open it. We don’t know what’s inside, so drop it into my hands.”
Slouching, she grumbled, yet agreed, “Fine.”
“Okay.” Gently, he offered her the treasure again and she extracted it from the box, pulling it apart from the cinched opening. She closed one eye, peeked in, then turned it over into Killua’s hand. What fell into his palm was a golden heart-shaped locket on a similar quality golden chain. The pendant had an intricately carved surface, also in the shape of a heart, around the inside perimeter.
Killua placed the box on the grass, using both thumbs to pry open the locket. He held it open in his hands, presenting it to Alluka. Gon caught a glimpse of engraved initials across from a picture of a man and a woman posing together.
“Big Brother!” Alluka cried, snatching the jewelry piece from him. “We have to find these people! They have to be somewhere in the world!” She leaned in close to him, as if proximity would be enough to convince him.
He chuckled silently, eyes flicking in Gon’s direction before he said, “It was Gon’s find, so it’s up to him, Alluka.”
Alluka twirled towards Gon, stepping towards him with her hands clasped under her chin. “Please, Gon?! Can we keep it?”
“Oh!” His brow pulled upward. “Of course! You’re more likely to find the owner than me!”
Her eyes glistening, she hollered, “Thank you!” She swiveled back towards Killua, bouncing to her brother’s side. He welcomed her by resting his hand on her head.
“Then we’ll find them,” he declared. That promise sounded sturdy enough to hold onto, thought Gon.
Alluka would be a hunter herself alongside Killua. She did not own the regalia or endure the exam, but she had a clear goal and a mission. Gon’s smile waned, listening to Alluka develop a plan to find the locket’s owner. Did a Hunter License even mean anything if he stayed in the same place most of the time?
He could not think about it anymore.
“Hey, while I’m at it.” Gon lifted his fishing rod. “I’ll catch us dinner.”
Alluka recoiled.
“You don’t have to help in any way, promise.” He proceeded to the cliffside and casted his line into the sea.
Before long, Gon caught and served fire-roasted fish filets on skewers to very positive reviews from the group. They sat around the fire, talking and laughing, yet Killua stayed quiet when Alluka asked Gon more details about the rescue mission, only reanimating when the conversation morphed into something else. Once the fire dwindled enough, they stamped it out and headed back home.
Alluka would finish the journey on Killua’s back, falling asleep before they reached the Freecss’ residence. Whether on purpose or not, the boys kept topics light, but conversation was always effortless with Killua. Gon ached to ask him about their points of distance throughout the weekend, but it was best to leave on a positive note, after all.
The lights were off when they arrived at Gon’s home. They opened the door as quietly as they possibly could, and just inches from Gon’s face in a low voice, Killua told him, “See you in the morning.” He pivoted to the stairs, but Gon interrupted him, a sudden urgency formed into a harsh whisper.
“Killua.” He froze and looked at Gon, who could feel his heart seizing up. This would be their last night together, their next meeting indefinite, and Killua was turning away and there was still time to spend and so many things clawing at the inside of Gon’s throat he needed to address. “After you put her to bed, do you want to make a bonfire with me?” Their late fireside talks seemed like a ritual to Gon, one too sacred to abandon.
Killua looked down at his feet and one of his sisters mumbled something nonsensical. He shut his eyes, releasing a long puff of air.
“Yeah.” He bobbed his head, “I do.”
Gon’s heart ricocheted against his chest and he nodded emphatically, breathing the word, “Okay.”
He waited in the foyer, the only light filtering in from upstairs and the starlight outside. His pulse continued to beat wildly, throbbing in his neck, and he shifted in place, peeking up the stairs. It took Killua a few minutes to help get Alluka prepared for sleep, and once he reached the downstairs landing, Gon wordlessly led him back outside. There was a stack of cut wood around the side of the house, and they each grabbed an armful to carry to their destination.
They walked to a familiar site, a ledge overlooking a section of swamp. A massive tree grew from the water in the center of the cove, and a thick forest lined the opposite end of the ridge. With the fire steady, Gon slipped into the spot next to Killua on the grass—the same placement as years ago, as if it had been reserved for them all this time. The inlet remained seemingly untouched by the outside world since their last visit, the only changes occurring were themselves.
“I’m glad Alluka and Nanika are having a good time,” Gon said.
“Yeah… I am, too. I just want them to live a normal life, be normal kids.” He released a long breath. “They’re too strong for our family to break them.”
“And Alluka’s reading is amazing! You’re great at teaching her, Killua.”
“I just think she’s a good student…” Killua gently asserted, throwing a pebble into the water far below them. “I’m really proud of her.”
Gon leaned forward and kept his eyes on Killua. “How do you feel… being here, with me?”
The blue-eyed boy recoiled in his seat. “Your questions!” Once he straightened up, he looked forward and answered quietly, “It’s been nice.”
Killua glanced at him with a weak smile and Gon could feel his own pulse pounding hard in his brain. He clenched his teeth together expecting, almost begging for a stipulation. But what? He asked himself, he would do anything to smash the lingering barrier between them.
“I’m really happy you wanted to see me again,” Gon blurted.
“You’re so blunt!” Killua accused, holding his head in between his hands. His arms slid to his sides, and the wind paused for him to continue. “It’s funny. How much we went through, and everything ended, just like that. I’m on the run but… I thought one of us would still be hunting.”
“You are hunting!” Gon threw an arm out in emphasis. “That necklace we found!”
“That’s just a game for Alluka and Nanika.”
Gon huffed air out of his nostrils, stirring with irritation at Killua’s stubbornness. “And you’re searching for a better life for them.”
“Yeah, but most of the time it feels like we’re being chased.” He pointed his nose to the sky. “And you?”
“What do you mean?”
“I never saw you as someone… who waited around for things to come to you.”
Gon cast his eyes to the inky grass below. His head was light, like Killua’s words were a blow to his body and he had not yet been able to recover oxygen. His vision blurred like he had opened his eyes underwater, his body feeling no more sturdy than a thin branch swaying in a breeze.
“No, Gon, I didn’t mean it like that.” From his periphery, he could see Killua bend towards him, but Gon kept his gaze low. He heard him continue, “It’s just, I used to look to you for a goal and now…”
The boys’ eyes met, Killua’s gunmetal stare cooling some heat that had risen in Gon’s face. This was Killua, his dearest and closest friend, but that was exactly why criticism from him hurt so much more.
“Do you want to be here, Gon?”
Gon tightened his brow, facing the stars, the question sinking into him slowly like a footstep on wet sand.
He opened his mouth, his answer flowing out of him calmly and naturally. “Ging said it himself: I’m lucky to be alive. And that’s only because of you and Nanika,” he insisted, peeking at Killua.
“I was going to rescue my sisters anyways,” Killua voiced casually, hanging his head to the side, “I might as well have brought them to the hospital while I was at it.”
Gon chuckled. “He said this is my time to find out what I want to do with my life. I figured, I’ve already done so much, so I really need to consider it carefully.” He heard a soft grunt from Killua and he concluded, “Aunt Mito wants me to get my degree anyways. I might not finish on time, but I’ll work on it for her.”
“Yeah. That makes sense.”
Gon smiled lightly and looked down at his palm cradled in his lap, studying the indented lines from end to end. Killua, a powerful new user, was sitting right next to Gon, but he could not detect a trace of his life energy. Although he knew that it would not work, that something deep inside of him was either blocked or broken or destroyed altogether, Gon breathed deeply, focusing, straining to conjure even a single pin of aura on his hand.
Nothing.
“I could be out searching for a way to learn nen again but… The last time we were together, I was dealing with things I couldn’t understand and—it wasn’t good that I had access to that power. I lost myself.”
Gon could still envision the smoky aura billowing in his vision, hatred and anger penetrating his every nerve. His heart squeezed up into his trachea, thinking of the words he told Killua at the East Gorteau castle when Killua was only trying to pacify him. It was enough to make him twitch in discomfort.
He turned to his friend again, and Killua was looking back at him, half of his face glowing in the firelight. As he stared, Gon silently noted his hair shone soft and bright like the billowing Milky Way above.
“And I almost lost you.”
Instinct assumed control of his body, and silently, breathlessly, Gon clenched Killua’s hand under his. Killua looked away, resting his arm on his knee and covering his mouth with the inside of his hand. Although Gon could not see the other boy’s face, he did not move his hand, and so Gon held on, watching the stars to give Killua what privacy he could offer without leaving his side. His hand was solid and cool to the touch, smooth but worn, rippled with puckered lines of flesh marking past injuries.
Gon wanted to remember this night perfectly—the chill in the air, the heat of the flames, the chorus of fauna, his best friend and his home, bundled together and tucked into a safe place in his heart. Clutching Killua’s hand, he felt like he was glowing, his skin borrowing radiance from the fire behind them. But suddenly, he twisted, a tremor ripping through him when he heard Killua sniffle, and his gaping eyes instantly locked on to what he could see of his friend.
“Killua!” He cried, quickly withdrawing his hand.
“Alluka’s turned me into a huge sap, you know…” Is all he could hear from behind a curtain of white hair. Turning towards Gon, Killua exclaimed, “I can’t believe I’m practically encouraging you to do stupid things!” He groaned. “I just found your endless quest for strength—inspiring.” His head fell.
Gon chuckled at his confession before tucking his knees to his chest. “Now that you mention it, recently Palm and I talked about different kinds of strength. She told me about meeting the king ant right at the end, and how he was in love with that girl at the castle.”
“The blind girl?!”
“Yup. The one thing strong enough to make Netero self-destruct, only wanted to be with her. I don’t know, there’s probably something to be said about that,” he suggested, fiddling with some blades of grass beneath him. “And it’s not the same, but I feel good helping out Aunt Mito. It makes her happy. It won’t be forever, but it feels right at this moment.”
Killua threw his head back and hollered, “Your Aunt Mito is still the coolest!” Gon smiled wide, loosening up his shoulders while Killua leaned back on his hands and sighed. “Yeah, fine. By the way, I never asked,” he said before his voice became lower and more distant, as if to separate himself from his inquiry. “Does anyone know what happened to her? The girl?”
“Yeah... I do.” Gon’s chest tightened. “The king only wanted to see her before he died. He knew he was poisoned and that it was contagious and, well, they chose to die together.”
Killua shifted in place. Countless forest creatures wailed in response to Gon’s story and he noticed his friend drawing both knees into his chest, retracting into himself.
“I’m—” Killua words were drowned by a sob, and he hid head between his legs. Gon’s body tensed and he breathed slowly, barely daring to move.
The air stilled, seconds passed, and Killua lowered his knees to the ground. Pausing between words, he said, “I’m just glad—I found you in time.”
Gon’s chest plummeted, the sensation reverberating throughout his body until he felt weightless. He reeled back, crushing his eyes together and taking a massive gulp. Opening his eyes, Killua was still there, and Gon sprang forward, grabbing his wrist and pulling him into an embrace.
“Thank you,” he choked against Killua’s neck, “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too,” Killua whimpered. “Sorry we had to live through that shit.” Not before chiding him for being embarrassing, Killua’s hands crept up Gon’s back to return the hug.
The boys held each other for minutes, or perhaps an hour, time bending and stretching in each other's arms like dough in a baker’s hands. Gon could not recount exactly the sequence of events that led them to the ground, but he and Killua ended up laying on their backs next to each other, mapping their own constellations in the clear night sky. In their little nest of grass, they would point to a plot in the stars, inventing a story, swatting at each other’s arms and taking control of the tale if they disagreed, all the while wearing smiles equally as large as the other’s.
Killua released a long sigh, folding his arms behind his head. “I just need to follow Aunt Mito’s example and whack you when you’re acting out.”
“May not be a bad idea,” Gon agreed, shrugging deeply. “I’m getting better about it, though.”
After a few beats of silence, Killua told the stars, “I don’t mind it… sometimes.” Gon snickered and heard the scratchy sound of Killua shifting in place. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, either.”
Gon’s smile faded gradually like the sun dipping under the horizon. “I’m glad you’re honest with me, Killua.” While he waited for Killua to respond, everything within the cove, down to the insects in the grass, seemed to wait.
“I’m trying to do better at that myself. At least with you.”
Despite the dying fire, heat emanated throughout Gon’s body. The splitting of wood prickled in his ears as he drank in rich notes of charcoal and earth. Looking into Killua’s cool gaze, he felt perfectly balanced in this corner of the world, heart beating and lungs inflating seamlessly in rhythm with the surrounding nature. His pulse strengthened as his eager eyes followed the upward hook of Killua’s lips and traced his jawline.
Killua propped himself up abruptly, expelling Gon from his hazy state. Wrapping his arms around his knees, he asked the tree in front of them, “So we leave tomorrow, huh?”
Gon rose, letting a few beats pass before breaking his silence. “Yeah.”
“I just wish we could stay put for Alluka’s sake. She’s a Zoldyck family refugee, completely lacking any structured education past preschool.” He sighed at length. “Like her life wasn’t going to be hard enough already...”
“What do you mean?” Gon wondered, sitting up.
He peered over his shoulder before answering. His voice sounded heavier, as if the words bore a physical strain. “Alluka is trans. She’s a girl, but born in a boy's body.”
“Oh, okay,” Gon voiced, nodding.
“It’s tough to treat when we can’t be in the same place for more than a couple of days.”
Gon bit the inside of his cheek, squeezing his brow. “Let me help.”
“What? How?”
“Well… I’d start by asking Kite. She knows what it’s like to be a man and a woman!”
Killua erupted in laughter. “You might be onto something!”
Gon observed him in awe, finally blinking again when Killua lowered his head. When Killua glanced at him, Gon stuck out his tongue, squeezing his eyes together. They both snickered, the sounds fading into the night air.
“It’s pretty late,” he heard Killua breathe.
“I know.” Gon could feel his heart thrumming in his chest, the cool night air stung in his throat. “I just wanted to be with you.”
“Do you realize how you sound?”
Gon showed his teeth, knowing full well how he sounded, and lifted his arms above his head. He groaned with a stretch and his limbs fell back down, running his hands over the tips of the grass. The blades tickled his palms until they began to itch, then he pressed them into the damp ground, dew coating his palms. Moisture from the turf seeped into the fabric of his clothing, and next to Killua, he felt like he might melt into the earth under him.
“I wish you could stay longer,” he stated flatly.
Killua did not say anything for what felt like a minute, instead facing downwards. Gon waited silently; truthfully, he had nothing more to say. It would be unfair to ask any more of him, his tongue was pulled taut with the urge, but he would not let it snap.
“We would be too easy to find here,” Killua replied eventually, “It’s too obvious. But um—” He scratched the side of his head. “Yeah. I do too.”
Killua stared into the distance, into the black twisted forest. Gon tore his gaze from his friend, matching his pose to look out at the glimmering pool.
“One day Alluka will be safe and…” Killua’s voice waned and he sighed harshly. “We can—see each other more.” He cleared his throat, remained turned away so he could not see Gon’s beaming face. Gon became light-headed, running through the infinite possibilities of adventures with Killua in his mind.
“Can we go inside now?” Killua asked sharply, whipping his head towards Gon. “I don’t want to talk anymore!” Even against a dull flame, Gon could see a deep blush smothering his face. It was impossible not to smile.
He stood, offering Killua his hand, who smirked before taking it to lift himself. They walked side by side back to the Freecss’ home, Killua’s hands behind his own head, both chins tilted up, taking in the last sights of the vast starry sky before they went indoors for the night. Both of them stopped when they reached the front door, Gon’s legs suddenly feeling heavy. He took a deep breath and looked towards Killua, who was facing the ground.
“Goodnight, Killua.”
“Goodnight, Gon.” He gradually raised his head, eyes flitting around before meeting Gon’s.
Gon did not last more than a few seconds without lunging towards him, burying his face into the dip of Killua’s neck and latching his arms around his back. Killua reciprocated the embrace, squeezing him tightly under the shoulders, pushing his forehead into Gon’s temple. A calm rush surged through Gon’s body, somehow both energizing and relaxing him, and he felt the everything around them evaporate, leaving only Gon and Killua. They held on like the only thing keeping them attached to this world was each other.
The ground returned under Gon’s feet, and tears bulging in his eyes, he lifted his head and pressed his cheek to the side of Killua’s feather soft hair before letting him go. They whispered goodnight one last time, Gon still able to feel the pressure from Killua’s touch as he changed his clothes, brushed his teeth and slid under the covers. Laying in bed, despite the sensation of hovering inches above his mattress, he was eventually able to drift to sleep.
The morning was rushed bathing, packing, eating then leaving. Aunt Mito hugged both of the siblings goodbye, together and individually, and made them promise their safety. While Gon escorted them to the docks, a thick cloud followed them on their path, a constant reminder of the soon to be inevitable. A dismal feeling pooled in Gon’s abdomen, as if they were walking towards a burial. Two days never seemed so short.
“There’s your boat,” Gon said redundantly.
“You guys!” Alluka dropped her bag, placing it in front of her. She rustled around inside of it, extracting a simple teal camera. “Go stand—somewhere!”
Killua and Gon looked at each other in surprise, then scrambled to the edge of the pier, posing with their backs against the water. Killua wrapped his arm around Gon’s shoulders and Gon learned just how large his smile could grow. He reciprocated, holding Killua around his midsection, a warm tingle crawling down his arm. Alluka counted down, he heard a click, and his heart fluttered when Killua grinned directly at him before breaking apart.
“We’ll send you a copy once we get it developed!” Alluka cheered, raising her arms. Something else to remember him by when they are apart, Gon thought.
“Thank you, Alluka!” He exclaimed as they shared a hug. “Thank you so much for coming!” After separating, a distinct heaviness sinking around him, he slowly turned to Killua.
“Till next time, Gon.”
“Will I see you soon?”
Killua scoffed quietly, looking away from him. “Don’t you trust me?”
Breathing out softly, Gon contemplated his response. “Sometimes, more than I do myself.”
Killua’s eyes grew and he inhaled sharply through his nose, his cheeks tinted with blush.
“Well… If we don’t go now…” sighed Killua.
“Yeah.” They did not need to say more.
“We had the best time!” Alluka shouted, her arms flying above her head.
“We sure did,” Killua agreed.
And they said goodbye again and queued in line, waving at each other with every step. Although Gon and Killua were leaving each other again, they were not turning away from each other, this time, circumstance pulled them apart. Gon observed the boat until it disappeared on the horizon, the tide shrinking and townspeople moving around him, and with each passing moment, a part of his heart floated farther and farther away.
With the sun shining high overhead, the ship long gone, Gon turned to head back home. Already, he was formulating the plan for the next time he would see Killua, the next call they would have or picture he would send him. A soft warmth washed over him with memories of the prior night; their conversation confirmed that instead of trying to dredge up their past, Gon could decide to pursue a future alongside Killua.
For now, Gon would stay planted on his island, cultivating himself, visiting friends when possible, but keeping his promise to Aunt Mito to finish school. This time around, his hunt could be Killua, a life where the two of them could be together more often, where Killua did not have to participate in his family’s internal wars. He would look forward to that future and endlessly anticipate the day of its arrival, but until then, he would make sure to enjoy the little detours to the fullest, although nothing from his journeys could become more important than Killua.
So happy to start this story as a part of the @hxhbigbang24!! Thank you everyone who was a part of the event. I am having the loveliest time with this community. ALSO, there's beautiful art for this chapter here and here!
My favorite genre of them
The Gift of Forever
Summary: Inspired by the question, when did Zelda move in to the Hateno House? Answering this led to filling in more gaps between Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom. ZeLink.
—
Link stirred the contents of a cooking pot rhythmically, watching each savory morsel as it tumbled to the surface of a cloudy broth. Steam rose lazily from the stew, curling tendrils around the handle of the ladle, carrying rich earthy scents into the air. He pulled in a deep breath through his nose, notes of charred wood, hearty vegetables and tender meat coalescing into a blissful fragrance that he drank in hungrily. His lips stretched wide, he gazed down at his creation with a grin.
He and Princess Zelda had been in Hateno for a few days, following an extended survey in Faron, and upon arriving, the princess immediately rooted herself in Purah’s lab to study, leaving only sparsely for a meal or a meeting. As usual, Link had accompanied her on her travels, and always made time to cook for the two of them. A trail followed the handle of the ladle as he stirred the thick broth, showing him any moment now, they could feast.
At this point, serving the dish was dependent on Princess Zelda’s punctuality, and she did insist that she would join him earlier than the day prior. Yesterday, the sun had descended before he surrendered to his empty stomach and ate without her. He peered over his shoulder, down the path to the entrance of the village, and saw the usual clamor of children running and playing. If the princess did not arrive soon, he would send A-Zoom on a top secret mission up the hill to retrieve her—all before bedtime, of course.
Better to request the kid’s help than to deliver a cold bowl to the laboratory again, he thought. His lips creased with the memory of visiting the princess last night, her surprise at his arrival as if he caught her guilty. The only accusation he could hold against her is forgetting to take care of herself, burying her own needs under scholarly expectations. Even a century of time could not erode her resolve.
Currently, in her research, she was scanning for any mentions or symbolism of Zonai in Sheikah texts, since discovering more about the Zonai would certainly help Hyrule’s future prosperity. Few surviving tomes in the royal archives have mentions of the Zonai people, with cloudy specifics swirling around a brutal war, a Demon King and a powerful artifact. It seemed only the end of Zonai history was recorded, but the princess insisted on continuing the search, for there had to be something to learn from a people revered as gods.
Whereas the Sheikah tucked themselves away, their creations stowed underground, the Zonai took no measures to conceal their existence in Hyrule. Yet, from atop pillars and within labyrinths, there were more questions than answers about the Zonai, and aside from their architectural feats, they left little else behind. Zelda could only assume they met their demise around the war, since accounts of Zonai society disappear shortly after. But what was the artifact, she had asked before, and, how can we protect Hyrule from this Demon King?
Lifting his head, he could see her nearing, and from her appearance, he understood she was no closer to either answer. Her hands were joined at her abdomen, and she was noticeably deep in thought, like she had never left the lab. Something deep within him throbbed with the urge to take her frustration away, the same feeling from long ago, standing behind her while she pleaded to the goddess. Whether it was ancient ruins or holy statues, stone never listened.
She reached him with a weak smile and sat on a stool across from him. He handed her a full bowl, inquiring, “How did research go?”
“Oh, another day of sifting through the piles. Sometimes I wonder how either of them get any work done.”
The state of Purah’s lab did make Link wonder if she learned etiquette from a bokoblin camp instead of Kakariko Village. Seemingly, her assistant paid the mess no mind, but Link would rather avoid dodging papers and books scattered all over the floor.
“There may not be anything to find,” she continued, “Purah nor Symin can recall any mentions of the Zonai in their own studies. Meanwhile, the survey itself has slowed… I don’t think we’ve found anything substantial in quite some time.”
Link’s heart leapt. He wondered if she would consider any findings removed from Zonai civilization as substantial. With all of the personnel combing through the jungle, had no one else made the same connection as him? So close to the stable, nonetheless…
Zelda reentered his focus as she said, “And I’m certainly not getting anywhere, either.” Her eyes drifted to the side, her chest falling with a silent exhale.
Very rarely since they met, Link could sense that the princess was tired. She wore a perfect camouflage, hiding any hint of fatigue from anyone with an untrained eye, but Link was around her enough to notice a change. Despite her utmost devotion, the majority of her life she spent grasping for something out of reach, but immersed in study of Sheikah technology, she could ignore her shortcomings. Recently, she was involved in the design and development of the new location towers around Hyrule, but that project was now in the construction phase, and she was no engineer. Aside from a lack of discoveries in Zonai archaeology, she had little else to occupy her thoughts now.
Research groups had been deployed to all of the major sites of Zonai origin throughout Hyrule, but all had met a similar obstacle. There was much to learn about the ancient society from their ruins, but none held any evidence or relics from the catastrophic events outlined in the historical records from the castle. From the time of the Calamity, Zelda had the wisdom that no amount of digging will reveal what does not wish to be found.
Years ago, as Link haphazardly stumbled upon the memories he lost and the fog cleared from his consciousness, he was struck with a sharp realization: the same problems can follow you for a century. Generations passed while he slept, most of the people he knew one hundred years ago have moved on to the Sacred Realm, but he had been awake long enough to carve out a place for himself. Hyrule had been refurbished in the last century, and although he was still the swordsman, and she the princess, they fit a little differently among the new joints connecting the realm. For one, Zelda had free reign to explore the entirety of Hyrule, no longer confined within her father’s demands.
The only barriers to the princess’ research had been planted tens of thousands of years ago, with no hints of how to remove them. Exasperated by her studies, she had previously suggested that the only ways she could learn more about the Zonai are if she could talk to spirits or travel back in time, and at times, Link almost agreed. In quiet moments, gazing at the sky together, he could sometimes sense her asking the heavens if its people ever returned.
Regardless of any hindrance, she would never be prohibited from contributing to research, and he would never be prohibited from supporting her. One hundred years ago, he was in constant fear of stepping out of line and being dismissed from his role as her knight attendant. He could only compare the feeling of being accosted by the king on the bridge to her study to the panic and hopelessness of free falling. He never dared imagine he could be sitting here in his home village with her, doing nothing more than sharing a meal. Without a kingdom chaining them to the castle, they could establish their own rules.
For the past few minutes, she had filled the air between them with personal mutterings about the Sheikah integrating their magic with Zonai structures, and at the first opening, he struck.
“Bring your books to my house tomorrow. I think we can agree I keep it a little neater than the lab.”
“Oh.” Her eyebrows bounced. “It would be too much of a hassle to carry them there and back.”
He shrugged, “We’ll attach a wagon to Theia”—her golden-bodied horse—“I have some room in my storage nook to keep anything temporarily.”
“A change of scenery would be nice…” She paused, as if mulling over the offer once more, “Well then, let’s meet outside the inn tomorrow morning. Thank you, Link.”
They smiled at each other until Zelda lightly fumbled with her bowl. She righted herself, and Link saw her head turn as the sound of a child’s cheerful shriek caught her ear. She cast a gentle gaze at the kids playing down the path, then chuckled towards the cooking pot, seemingly recalling a memory. Link could think of many that involved the princess with the village children.
“I know I’ve mentioned it before, but,” Zelda began, her grin dissolving. “I do wonder what kind of education those kids are getting.”
“Whatever they find outside,” Link suggested, “Plus what their parents say.”
“And what they hear in town,” Zelda added, shuddering. Images of Hateno’s gossiping ladies and half-dressed shop owners floated through Link’s mind.
She stopped, confirming his suspicions: she would never ask for a favor of such significance. Building a school was her idea alone. It would not address an immediate need for the village, so why interrupt their way of life, he could hear her say. Construction requires labor and money, two things of short supply in Hateno, and Hudson’s company was in the middle of a separate project that she herself had helped orchestrate. As she toiled for others, Link had little concern outside of ensuring she was fed. She deserved the support of the entire kingdom, and he was happy to provide for her, for she had lifted him up so many times before.
He was all too familiar with shoving his desires into a dark unseen corner of his mind, but unlike the princess, he could more easily coax them out. His fugue from his resurrection had freed him from his inhibitions, but with Zelda, he knew better than to distract her. His pouch felt heavy with the secret it carried—it could be the leverage she needed to vault over this hurdle, but the object held a significance that he was unprepared to reveal just yet. Guilt pooled in his stomach, but he assured himself she could wait one more night.
“You could always send them up to Purah to do some experiments on them,” he suggested.
Sighing, she explained, “She would just find a way to steal their youth.”
“They can learn from that!”
She lightly kicked his shin in jest. “I would prefer if they stayed alive!”
They laughed and laughed together. The timing is right, he told himself, a warmth spreading throughout his body. Just have to wait until morning.
——
A pale light splashed over the hills of Hateno as the sun crept higher into the sky. Tiny hands wove flowers into a silky white mane, following no particular pattern or form, directed only by youthful spontaneity. Blue, pink, red and purple blooms clung to the golden mare’s hair, like she was encrusted with bright jewels. Link positioned himself behind the four children, observing as they each decorated a section of mane, nodding with approval every time they emphatically presented their progress.
Before the sun rose, Link had woven many braids into Theia’s hair. He divided her long white mane into two sections down the spine, plaiting only one, so the braids laid on a layer of loose hair. He had the idea for the style while he was gathering wildflowers in his front yard by torchlight; he knew the princess would be awake shortly after dawn. For the freshest blossoms, he was prepared to lose some sleep, providing only the best for Princess Zelda.
His eyes flitted from the row of children to the entrance of the inn, and he detected his pulse rising with each passing minute he watched them decorate. To no avail, he tried to suppress his nerves, told himself that Zelda would love anything the children helped create, but he knew he was truly afraid of what he had prepared for later. For days, as she studied, he tweaked his strategy, giving it the attention he once reserved for plotting military operations.
A week ago, what began as a lone night stroll through the jungle turned into a quest of novel discovery. In the distance, he saw a bright blue glow like a luminous stone, but he had never seen a stone deposit shift and move. He stepped over the gate to the dondon pen and took out one of the multitudes of luminous stones he had in his pocket for comparison—he never imagined the creature would eat it! And how could he possibly stop there?
After the gentle beast had scooped the fifth stone from Link’s hand, a realization arose in his mind: what if it was not healthy for the creature to eat rocks? Well, Link had tried it at least once since rousing from his slumber. Nerves high, he retreated back to the stable with a plan to return the next night, and when he did, there was a different shining object waiting for him, a diamond. He would have told Zelda about the encounter, except once he came across the crystal, he was instantly overtaken by fantasies of her in a billowing white dress, bouquets and tearful ladies around. An opportunity like this would not arise again.
And perhaps, just maybe, the fantasy of his was not so far removed from reality. Even he had noticed her lingering glances and touches, and how she never resisted when he pushed his luck helping her from her horse or leaning over her studies. If Hylia was to spare one more blessing, their relationship could take on a different form, progress into something even more precious. Since he found it (and cleaned it, to be safe), the gem had stayed deep within his pouch, but like a pebble in his boot, he was keenly aware of it with each step.
His head shot up when he heard the creak of the entrance door to the Ton Pu Inn. In the doorway stood Zelda, who immediately noticed her horse, her expression just as surprised as Link’s.
“Scatter!” Ordered Link. A chorus of gleeful cries ensued as the group of kids dispersed at full speed. With a hand clenched at her chest, Zelda descended the stairs, her eyes still wide.
“Good morning, Princess.”
“What’s all this?” She inquired, watching the children run in every direction.
“I just had to stop these troublemakers from vandalizing your horse,” he explained jovially, leading Theia around to show the princess the children’s work.
“Oooh…” Her face glowed with admiration as her eyes, as bright as a meadow in summer, followed the crooked pattern of flowers in her horse’s mane. “It’s lovely, thank you.”
They shared a smile before Link sharply exhaled, patting the side of his thigh. “Let’s get going!” he said, gesturing to the wagon he had borrowed for the trip. They hooked it up to Theia, and Link walked alongside her as Zelda rode the horse to the lab perched on the hill. When they arrived at Link’s home, Zelda organized the books while Link prepared a meal, and after they ate, she retreated upstairs while Link completed some other tasks around the house.
He stood over the sink, back to the princess, and checked over his shoulder—he could only see the crown of her golden hair, her face parallel to the desk. His heartbeat thumping, he extracted the diamond from his pouch, twisting it in front of him, watching it reflect the soft illumination around. It shined with glossy blues and pinks, catching light and transforming it, and Link was hit with a sudden impulse to polish it, to make it more extravagant for her.
“Link,” the princess called from beyond the bannister. His heart lurched as he shoved the item back in his pouch. “Did I leave a notebook down there? It’s brown with a red pattern on the front.”
He frantically scanned the kitchen, looking for the journal that matched her description. “Y-yes. I’ll bring it up to you,” he returned, once he found it on the edge of the dining table. He held the book to his sternum for a moment, waiting for the tension in his chest to abate. He inhaled slowly, and with one last paranoid pat on his pouch, pressed forward.
Ascending the stairs, his body told him to expect a battle. His veins surged with the same sensation that had preceded so much pain and loss in his life, but also glory. If it meant waking up to her voice again, he would never hesitate to step between the princess and certain death, and so, he kept marching. His legs felt rigid, but some force of gravity pulled him nearer to her. Atop the landing, when he saw her, she was grace embodied, sliding a fingertip down a page in the middle of a thick book, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.
Once his breath returned, he approached her, bending over the desk so their noses were practically touching. Heat leapt from her cheeks, grazing his face, as he raised the leather bound book to his chest. He was close enough to smell her sweet skin and count the stars within her shining eyes. His blood ran hot and his muscles twitched with the urge to flee, but before he could reconsider his next action, he said:
“Is it this one?” His pulse beat wildly in his ears, but his eyes remained soft and light.
“Link…” she whispered. “Thank you.”
He nodded and took a half-step back, smoothly, like gliding on ice. He swallowed hard, the only indication he showed of the fire burning up his scalp.
“And I must thank you for the invite,” she said softly, like she was telling a secret.
“Zelda, you are always welcome here. There’s nowhere in Hyrule where you’re not.”
She blinked at his words, no sound passing her lips.
“While we were at the Lakeside Stable,” he continued, “I heard everyone either talking about the dondons or the survey. You bring people together, you help and inspire them and there’s nothing you do without others’ well-being in mind.”
He lifted one of her hands, lightly holding it between his. His knee bent independently of his mind, his thoughts trailing far behind his body.
“All those years ago, I made a promise that I would always protect you, and every day, I renew that promise.”
He cupped a hand over hers and looked into her eyes, bright emeralds swimming with emotion. He had never been more certain, hers was the only face he needed to see, now and forever; the only voice he needed to hear, guiding him through this life and the next. After his century long sleep, when he was able to remember her, really remember her, his end goal became hazy. He did not awaken after death for revenge on the demon that killed him, he only wanted to rescue the princess, for her smile was the only reward he needed. Victory meant little if he could not spend it with her.
“You are the reason I am living today, and every day, you give my life meaning,” Link stated.
From his pouch, he extracted the uncut diamond, a shining chunk of eternity, and pinched it delicately between his fingers.
“I found this—in Faron. With it, I want to give you a choice.” He slid the gemstone into her hand. “Make yourself a ring, or sell it and pay Bolson to build your school.”
She touched her chest and a single sob escaped her before a smile unraveled, stretching across her whole face. Through tearful laughter, she answered, “You know I would never choose the first one.”
He snickered with her, along with a final request, “And please. Stay here, with me.”
“On one condition.”
He looked up from his position before her, reveling in her presence like the goddess she is. He was prepared to climb the tallest mountain in Hyrule or swim across the sea if she only hinted at it. She made his struggle worth it, every cut or bruise or fall he took for her, even when he could not remember, it was for her. Everything from finding the sword to becoming her knight and confronting death itself was for this moment. He nodded expectantly for her word, his mouth half ajar in a daze.
“Kiss me.”
Doods of the dudes
He’s showing him how to flurry rush
Bro seriously stop you’re making me blush
I do not remember where the reference photo came from but I NEEDED to make it Killugon.
Reference under the cut.
WIP Wednesday
What if we fought some guys and held hands after 🥺👉👈
