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Intersections

Chapter 2: Year 2 | Read on Ao3 | 21k words

Author's Note: The personal horrors of the first half of this year have finally subsided and I am just now starting the next chapter, so have this one while you wait!

Summary: Every year after their separation, Killua and Gon reunite. Things feel different between the boys, far from irreparable, but the foundation of their relationship has tilted, and with one of them on the run and the other without nen, balance is hard to reach. They have both transformed under the intense pressures of the past, and while it might take them a bit to realign, that does not mean they will not try—although with bumps on the way. This story is about teens wrestling with their true feelings, friendships old and new, and all the awkward, goofy, angsty and warm-hearted moments that come with them.

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Gon peered at the Beetle phone in his hand, only 15 minutes lapsing since his last check. He walked through a maze of towers, each street blending into the last, indistinguishable to Gon’s untrained eyes, yet, once he entered city limits, he could remember the incessant commotion of York New. The smells and sounds of the dense metropolis were almost overwhelming to him, all coalescing into a monotonous droning that clogged his senses. He felt uneasy, somewhat turbulent, as if he were navigating choppy waters. Yet, he knew his destination would tether him.

Where he was headed was inconsequential, it was who he was headed towards. Just over an hour ago, he landed in upper York New by airship, unloaded, ran to the train, and had covered the distance of multiple Whale Island town centers to get into the city. In the past year, he had rarely left the island except to visit Kite, and only once were Leorio and Kurapika able to visit him. They had been a relatively short airship ride away for a Zodiac meeting, and could not even stay for a full day.

But today, the four of them—five including Alluka—will reunite for the first time in ages, and there was no better day to meet than the First of September. Leorio and Kurapika finally acquired three days off in succession, and they would all honor the long weekend with a camping trip. Summer’s grip was loosening, with peak temperatures recently beginning to fall. Gon would not have minded the weather conditions regardless, but he was content knowing his friends, especially Alluka, would be comfortable.

Every block, the endless wall of glass and steel would open as he walked across intersections, stretches of sky portioned out in a few feet at a time, revealing an additional vein of the city. Gon watched the street numbers decline with each crossing, all the while repeating Killua’s last message to him in his mind.

We’ll be at Crossroads Park at 1:00., was what he sent him before Gon landed. Gon’s phone did not get reception at high altitude, so he received the text hours late, and yet, Killua had not followed up with anything else. During his flight, Gon mapped his path from the airport to the park, exiting the subway about a half mile early to get his blood flowing again after sitting for so long in transit. And perhaps he thought it would help soothe the stirring sensation in his abdomen, reaching an apex while he stood at the train station reviewing his text string with Killua.

He was so close to seeing him, and more than anything, Gon wanted to be with him again, but he was all too aware of his own tendencies that once pushed Killua away. Once he saw him, Gon convinced himself, everything would settle; it always did. Leading up to today, he felt what he could only describe as nervous about their reunion. Killua was amazing, fun and smart, but if Gon thought about him too long, his throat would dry up, and although he never really cared what other people thought of him, with Killua, he wanted to be the best version of himself. That way, Killua might accept, maybe even return, at least some of what Gon felt towards him.

Gon had tried to put into words this growing fondness for Killua, but every time he did, his mind congealed into thick sludge and his heart would threaten to burst. ‘Fondness’ was not sufficient alone; it was as if the emotion had acquired life of its own, influencing Gon at its whim. He would purposefully wake in the middle of the night to receive a call from Killua when he was visiting a faraway time zone, or plan his study schedule around Killua’s availability. He even checked his email often, despite his distaste of computers, to see if Killua sent him a new picture or video, and when any attachments featured Killua himself—Gon’s pulse would still for a beat.

He ached to see his best friend again, eager to close the distance between them permanently. Gon had to wait longer than a year to see him, but at least they had been communicating often during the same period. The best part of the year prior was that Killua had voluntarily kept up with Gon with such frequency. It was not every day that they checked in, but almost, and the only change Gon could want was to be next to him. But until he could grab onto him for good, Gon would continue to creep towards him over time, like a vine searching for sunlight.

The city seemed to have been listening to his thoughts, as the next block opened up to a park. His eyes followed a long path that stretched diagonally across the plot of green grass, meeting another diagonal path in the center, and standing in the middle of the crossroads were the Zoldycks. Gon’s legs moved faster than his head, instantly reacting to their sight and sprinting full force ahead.

“HEY!” He shouted, noticing the siblings pivot towards him.

As he got closer, he could see Killua’s eyes widen larger, as if fully realizing his rapid approach. Gon launched himself forward and collided with Killua, together skidding back a few inches, their arms clasping around each other. He was immediately overtaken with the pressure of his hold, the scent of his skin. There was a dizzying rush throughout his body, and like a dam breaching, feelings that he restricted for over a year released inside of him, pushing out a tear from the corner of his eye. Finally.

Seconds later, still latched together, thoughts slowly seeped back into Gon’s mind, along with sensation returning to his limbs. His body floated back to earth, and as soon as his feet were firmly on the ground, he pulled away, his hands still gripping Killua’s arms below his shoulders. Killua shared a sincere smile with him, his cheeks tinted with blush, his eyes glistening like a cool sea. With a huge grin on his face, Gon tucked in his elbows, crouching in quiet celebration, and then swiftly detached himself from the other boy, lunging towards Alluka, coiling his arms around her before lifting and spinning her once.

“Gon!” She shrieked enthusiastically. He released her, all of them laughed together, and a thousand flowers bloomed inside of Gon’s heart. He could never grow tired of this.

“How are you!?” Gon hollered. “I’m so happy to see you!” He glanced between the siblings, Alluka clapping excitedly and Killua diverting his eyes with a shy grin.

“You just had to start being embarrassing immediately,” Killua gently chided, making Gon’s heart flutter.

“I love Yorknew!” Alluka cheered, hopping, “So does Nanika! Pigeons are her favorite!”

Killua petted the back of her head twice, telling her, “She really knows their favorite snacks.”

Alluka gave Killua a huge grin before closing her eyes, revealing her sister. Nanika laughed grittily and Killua gazed upon her with a palpable admiration.

“Hey, Nanika!” Gon greeted her with a wave.

“Gon. Hai.”

“I can see why you came to this park,” he observed, looking at all the gray birds scattered around, pecking at the ground.

Nanika giggled unevenly, the voids of her eyes squinting. Gon revealed in the beauty of the space around them, the sun warming him outside of the artificial shade from the skyscrapers, breeze flowing through the trees and softly cooing birds.

Killua requested sweetly, “Is it okay if Alluka shares her favorite part too?”

“'Kay.”

Nanika shut her eyes, Alluka’s features returning when they reopened.

Almost yelling, she excitedly reported, “We found the weirdest food truck earlier!”

“What?!” Gon leaned towards her. “What was it? Did you get any?”

“It was like a dumpling, but inside was a full meatball, and outside,” she explained with various emphasis layered onto each word, miming a sphere between her hands, “wrapped around the meatball, was—spaghetti! ”

Pointing a finger upwards, Killua added, “And deep fried.”

Gon’s eyes bulged wide, his imagination running wild.

“And, yes. We had to try one,” Alluka admitted, giggling.

“Oh man…” Gon bent over limply as if exhausted. “That sounds so good!” He realized he had not eaten since before he departed early this morning.

A light tease in his voice, Killua suggested, “You want to grab lunch?”

“Yeah definitely! Whatever you guys want to do!”

“We found a place a couple blocks away that we want to try,” Killua said, gesturing with a motion of his arm.

They all nodded to each other and began walking together, Gon behind the siblings. Despite their refugee status, Gon could see that Killua had obviously kept up a workout routine, his sleeveless shirt showing proof. He still shaped his hair shorter in the front than the back, which had grown further down his spine since their past visit. Watching Killua turn to face his sister as they talked, his cool eyes and bright smile, Gon felt his face tingling with heat.

Killua peeked over his shoulder to tell him, “This place has cake slices in every flavor you can think of.”

“Can we walk faster, then?!” Gon requested, passing between them. He heard Alluka giggle and then felt a hand grip his shoulder and jerk him back.

“Patience!” Scolded Killua, practically breathing fire. He took a breath and his voice steady, continued, “Also Alluka needs to look both ways before crossing.”

“Only if you do!” Alluka returned, a melody threaded through her words.

Killua dropped his arm, agreeing with her. “Yeah…”

Alluka was holding her safety hostage in his own actions, and it was working. Gon thought she was a genius; it was barely fair that she had two minds in her head. Before he and Killua separated, in East Gorteau, Gon expected Killua to be just as reckless as he was after confirming Kite’s demise. With his grief shrouding all rationality, he was impossible to persuade, exchanging any of Killua’s leveled reasoning with harsh venom. Maybe he would have been convinced otherwise, had he seen Killua put himself in danger.

“Right here,” he heard Killua say, and he unstuck his aimless gaze from the concrete below.

They stepped into the building, a classic cafe with classic dark wooden furniture and black and white tile floors awaiting them inside. They were seated at a table with cushioned chairs, and Killua and Gon immediately began to study the menu. They ordered right away, and while their food was being prepared, Alluka went to the counter to thoroughly inspect the cake selection. Their drinks were served, an orange juice for Gon, a coffee for Killua, and Gon thought to himself with a chuckle, that not everything has changed over the past two years.

Sitting across from him like this, like they used to, Gon’s chest suddenly felt constrained. This moment would not be long, similar scenes certainly would not happen more often, and there was a palpable difference between then and now. Since their time together, Killua had grown, his hair longer, his chin more defined, his shoulders more broad, changes that all happened separate from Gon. While Gon understood regret would do him no good, sometimes it caught him before he could recognize it.

Alluka returned, a grin wide across her face, plopping herself back into her seat.

Killua greeted, “Hey, you!”

“Hi!” Alluka chirped.

“What’d you get?” He asked jovially.

She touched her cheek with one hand, stifling back a laugh. “You should be thinking about what you got.”

Gon and Killua locked eyes for a second, then looked to Alluka after they reached the same conclusion.

“Alluka! You wouldn’t!”

“I won’t let you down, I promise!” She declared, holding up her pinky finger, determination glimmering in her eyes.

“Okay,” Killua responded, expelling a puff of air. He joined their pinkies together and Alluka rang with laughter. Gon wondered where she had learned to hook pinky fingers to make a promise—did Killua show her, or did they learn from somewhere else?

Blushing, Alluka quickly clapped her hands together in succession. “Here they come!”

The server brought their cakes and the trio stared wide-eyed, fixated on the desserts’ descent. Before they left the table, Alluka noticed their lanyard, adorned with enamel pins of animals and hearts and food puns. “I love your pins!”

“Thank you! I love your beads,” they complimented back, pulling on a section of the cord around their neck.

“Thanks! My sister helped me make them.” Alluka picked up a beaded strand of hair and admired it. “She’s really talented!”

“I can tell! Is she in the city with you, too?”

“Oh! She’s always with me!” Alluka chimed, tapping her fingertips together.

Blinking multiple times, the waiter raised their brow. Killua put his arm around Alluka’s shoulder, squeezing her closer to him.

“That’s precious. Let me know if you need anything else!” The employee said before turning and leaving with a bright service smile.

Simultaneously, they picked up their forks and stabbed them into their confections, each emitting a sound of delight upon popping them into their mouths. Gon’s slice had layers of vanilla sponge with raspberry sauce between: an amazing choice, he thought to himself. Their cakes were rapidly reduced to crumbs on their plates, they paid the bill, and left to explore the city until they could meet with Leorio after his shift at the hospital.

The city was more vibrant alongside the Zoldycks, with Alluka squealing at products in windows and Killua pointing out the purpose and history of buildings or sites. Not that Gon would remember or even understand Killua’s monologues, but his voice and overall presence captivated Gon. Alluka would frequently stop them for a photo, sometimes pushing her camera into Gon’s hand and calling Killua to pose with her. While they passed through a small park, she requested a picture to be taken with Killua in front of a blocky modern art sculpture, kissing her brother on the cheek as Gon pointed the camera at them. Once the image was captured, Alluka trotted over to Gon to retrieve the camera.

“Thanks!” She looked down at the teal object in her hands before asking, “Gon, Big Brother, can I get one of you in the same place?”

“Huh?” Killua ejected, “Oh, I guess.” He glanced at Gon nervously and meant ahead. Gon scurried next to him and they positioned themselves next to each other in front of the statue, Gon flailing an arm over Killua’s shoulder for the picture.

Perhaps Gon was still overly excited from seeing his friends after so long, or he felt he needed to create a memorable photo—either way, he was not really thinking when he started to lean into Killua. Killua dipped slightly to maintain balance against Gon’s weight, and with one of Gon’s arms already around his shoulders, he scooped him up above his knees, holding the white-haired boy bridal style. Looking down at Killua, he could see his face showing exasperation yet he was entirely flushed, and Gon could have considered kissing him on the cheek, too.

“Gon!” Killua cried, his tone bulging with desperation.

“That’s perfect! Hold that!” Alluka shouted towards them, peeping through her lens and stepping back a few strides. She pointed the camera at the boys, Gon beamed towards her and Killua collected himself enough to raise his arms and smile for the photo. After they heard the click of the shutter, Gon lowered Killua while he muttered how stupid the entire situation was. Snickering, Gon walked with Killua towards Alluka, all of them deciding their next destination while Alluka stuffed the camera back into her bag.

Gon felt his phone buzz, and in unison, he and Killua reached into their pockets and pulled out their devices. A message from Leorio was in Gon’s inbox, and he and Killua both whipped their heads up from their phones, smiling at each other. Leorio was off of work, and they all rushed in the direction of the hospital to meet him. From down the street, they could see the lanky doctor waiting outside in front of the building. He wore clear glasses and was still in his lab coat, white button down and tie underneath.

“Leorio!” Gon called, hopping in place then dashing ahead.

He lifted his palms slightly, a smile opening on his face. “He-hey!” Gon crashed into him with a hug, Leorio returning it.

“Hey Killua, hey Alluka! It’s great to see you!” He said cheerily as Gon split from him, Alluka slotting herself in for her own hug. Leorio returned her greeting, clapping his arms around her and smiling before asking, “Any of you need anything before we head out?”

“Nope! Let’s go now!” Alluka answered, pulling apart. Leorio and Killua shared a playful glance, and Killua confirmed they were ready.

They followed Leorio to the parking garage, descending a flight of concrete stairs to a modest black sedan waiting in a reserved space. Killua called the front seat, and Gon feinted running ahead for no other purpose than to irritate him. They loaded their luggage and selves in the car, Gon positioned behind Leorio, and they headed north, away from the city. Given the traffic, Gon expected them to never leave city limits, but countless minutes later, trees began to replace the towers. Extra time with his friends was by no means negative, but he was eager to see Kurapika, as he expected the Zoldycks were, too. He perfected their group’s balance, especially since Gon had always known him by Leorio’s side.

They chatted and remarked on the sights as the landscape became less developed and more natural. Leorio described some of the conditions he had seen at the hospital during the week, and mentioned that Melody sometimes comes by to play flute for the patients. The mention of Melody reminded Gon that he had not seen her since he left the hospital himself two years ago. In the past year, Killua and Alluka were able to attend one of Melody’s performances, but Gon was often in a different corner of the world.

He breathed deeply, looking from the window back to his friends. He could see Killua in the passenger’s seat, his powdery hair laying down his neck, sometimes turning his head to speak to Leorio or Alluka, showing his sapphire eyes. If only he could find more reasons to have the same view. Leorio veered onto a ramp which led to a rural highway, houses sparse and horizons far away.

There were farms and ranches on either side of the road, and in some stretches, there was nothing but nature and farms. Gon was reminded of the time an entire shipment of flour once spilled out on the docks and the islanders were able to construct a brick oven and bake a quick bread in the time it took to clean all of it. The car erupted in waves of laughter throughout Gon’s retelling, and the lanes on which they rode narrowed, homes nestled far back on their large lots. The car carried them down the tree-lined streets, and finally, slowing to turn, Leorio announced that they had arrived.

The entrance to the property was blocked by a tall but simple black iron gate, which opened automatically upon Leorio’s approach. Gon, Killua and Alluka shared a collective ‘Woah’ upon pulling up to Kurapika’s house. It was verging on a manor: a wide yellowish stucco facade stacked with gaping windows greeted them at the end of a stone driveway. The building stood two stories tall upon a bed of verdant grass, the plot carved out from a dense forest surrounding the house on three sides. The fence attached to the entrance gate disappeared into the woods, stretching far beyond Gon’s view.

“Being an ex-mafia boss and a Zodiac have their benefits!” Leorio called out, folding his arm on the ledge under his window.

“It's beautiful!” Alluka cried, leaning forward towards the center console to look through the windshield.

Leorio parked at the side of the house and all four of them unbuckled their seats and exited the car. Gon trotted to the trunk of the vehicle and grabbed his backpack.

“Leorio, do you have a bag?” He asked.

“Just my briefcase, I put it by Killua’s feet,” he replied, shutting the driver’s side door. Gon dropped the lid of the trunk before the four of them walked together on the beige brick path leading to the stately front door of the house.

When they reached the stoop, Kurapika was there to welcome them at the entrance, and as soon as he swung the door open fully, Gon and Alluka tackled him with hugs, which he received with surprise, then a warm smile. After breaking from him, Gon could see he was wearing a traditional Kurta shawl and skirt in a forest green and yellow color scheme. Killua and Leorio opted for more subtle greetings, and Kurapika beckoned the others further inside, and the group followed, resuming their praises of his home.

The house was grand yet tasteful, thought Gon. There were subtle touches of hand-carved wood columns or a polished marble mantle that elevated the interior, enhancing the natural beauty of the materials. Everything was thoughtfully curated and positioned, every piece of furniture or art filling a specific niche, no space too empty or too cluttered. From where they stood, they could see the back wall of the building, lined with floor to ceiling windows, incorporating the vast outdoor space into the decor.

“I sincerely thank you,” Kurapika replied with a humble smile, “Your rooms are ready, I’ll take you upstairs.”

Gon removed his jacket, hung it on the wood sculpted coat hanger and followed. The stairs were an installation themselves, starting wider at the bottom and narrowing upwards. Black wrought iron rails ran up each side of the staircase, patterns twisted into elegant symmetrical designs within them. Killua and Alluka were directed to their shared room, Gon occupying a separate room across the hall from them.

“Thank you so much for having us, Kurapika!” Gon exclaimed, dropping his bag.

“The pleasure is all mine. Settle in and I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Gon took in the surroundings, the room had a neutral, earthen feel with instances of color provided in the decor and embroidered bedspread. He unzipped his sack and plucked his toothbrush and cleanser out, carrying them to the attached bathroom to wash up after a long day of travel. When done, he met with Killua and Alluka in the hallway, and they all went downstairs.

Leorio was waiting with Kurapika at the bottom of the staircase, both grinning with their descent. Gon situated himself at the back of the group as they made their way further into the home, watching Alluka bounce with glee, and the rest of his friends falling into their usual rhythms: Kurapika listening attentively, responding precisely, Killua wearing a smug expression, hands in his pockets, and Leorio emphatically bent over to level with the rest of the group. Upon an antique console table was a framed photo of Kurapika and Leorio, both smiling with Leorio’s hand on Kurapika’s shoulder. Gon smiled along with them, looking ahead to his friends filing into the kitchen, talking animatedly, safe and happy and together.

“Kurapika, it smells great! What are you making?” Gon asked, sniffing the air.

“I have a pilaf in the oven,” he said, tilting his head to the side with a light smile, revealing his dangling red gem earring. “We should be ready to eat in a few minutes.”

A savory, layered scent wafted from the kitchen, swirling inside the empty space within Gon’s stomach. He could discern a blend of herbs, rice, chicken and root vegetables and the longer the scent permeated the air, the more his abdomen rumbled. They all chose drinks to accompany their meal and the minutes dissipated alongside easy chatter. Slipping his hands into mitts, Kurapika pried open the oven, revealing a dish that looked as good as it smelled. The group pulled their plates from the counter, served themselves accordingly before heading to the dining room to eat.

While seated, they first paid their compliments to the chef, each of them pausing to savor the taste after their first bites. They resumed talking about anything; Zodiac activities, diagnoses Leorio has treated, Zoldyck travels and Gon’s expeditions. Most of their days were separate, at times scattered across the world from each other, but together again, it seemed like they had never split. They embraced Alluka’s inclusion, she had been a perfect match for the four of them, and here right now, Gon felt completely whole. His friends were sunbeams breaking through the drudgery of his current life, warming him from within.

The five of them filled the room with talk and laughter, eager to share and learn about their time apart. At one point, after touching upon endless topics, the conversation landed on Bisky.

“She really let us have it,” Leorio groaned, sinking in his seat.

“She had… a unique way of mentoring,” Kurapika commented, a fearful darkness cast over his eyes.

Hanging his head backwards, Leorio whined, “It was like she looked for excuses to beat us up!”

“Yes. A literal iron fist.” Kurapika said calmly, a slight somber edge to his voice.

Killua added, “That hag sent me flying countless times.”

“Big Brother!”

He crossed his arms, rebutting, “She deserves it!”

“You think she’d be as good of a mentor if she wasn’t so rough with us?” Gon wondered aloud, lifting a forkful of food. Although his mind wandered, he carefully chose his words, treading lightly around any subject involving the Black Whale in front of Leorio and Kurapika.

The two of them had not yet delved into the details of their time on the ship, but Gon was not expecting them to, nor would he ever. Gon himself had only spoken at length about the palace invasion a handful of times, and just with Kite, Palm and Killua, all who were present for the mission. Most mentions of East Gorteau to Killua had accompanied an apology, each one a plea for his trust; but every action he took towards Killua was a chance for Gon to prove himself as changed. It felt unnatural, like reading a foreign language for the first time, viewing his own worth through the lens of others.

What he could see now were his best friends surrounding him, delicious food in front of him, all inside of a beautiful home. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much and he had to believe that they were all in this place together for the same reason. Gon would do anything for more moments like this, yet he was well aware that attempting to rush his schooling created an even larger impediment. For these precious hours, he would sit alongside his friends, recounting previous times together and plans for the future.

“She could find a way!” Leorio insisted, referring to Bisky’s harsh methods of training.

“When we met her, she was so nice!” Alluka rang.

“No one’s allowed to be mean to you,” Killua said, petting her head, “but no one would want to anyways. You’re the best.”

Like scholars attending a seminar, everyone nodded their heads in agreement. They poked at their plates, resuming their meal, conversation naturally arising. They wove around different topics, leaving wide holes within certain sections, yet sitting among the people dearest to Gon, everything felt complete. Later, with their plates emptied, talk waning, they collectively cleared the table, each one of them stacking their dishes to bring into the kitchen. They each cycled through tasks to clean the kitchen and dining room, lastly drying and putting the dishes away.

“What do you guys want to do now?” Gon asked, dropping silverware into a drawer.

Kurapika suggested, sliding a cup into a cabinet, “We could play cards.”

Leorio shuddered. “I still can’t see a deck of cards without thinking of Hi—”

The sudden noise of glass rattling against each other prompted Leorio to pause. Killua had ripped open the refrigerator door, his voice distinctly louder than Leorio’s, “You got dessert?”

After a brief silence, Kurapika answered, “Well, we have cocoa and marshmallows.”

“Oh sweet. Thanks,” Killua responded, plucking a carton of milk from the fridge.

Alluka inhaled sharply, shock in her voice. “Will we have enough for camping?!”

“Of course,” Kurapika said amiably with a chuckle, “I planned for your greedy big brother.”

Killua hollered from the counter, “It’s about time you learn!”

Kurapika sighed and shook his head, neither of which acted as any deterrent to Killua raiding his pantry for cocoa powder. Leorio stood behind him, hunched over directing him to the location of the marshmallows, Kurapika snickering across the room. Killua gathered all of the ingredients near the stove, pouring the milk and scooping powder into a pot. Switching on the burner, he stirred the contents and the rest of the group assembled at the kitchen island with mugs and a bag of marshmallows.

Alluka pried open the bag and plopped a marshmallow into her empty cup, shutting her eyes, a doughy smile growing from cheek to cheek.

“If you put one at the bottom of the mug, it gets nice and melty.”

Gon, Kurapika and Leorio exchanged glances and followed her lead, dropping the little puffy confections into their mugs, too.

Killua turned away from the range, wisps of steam rising from the saucepan. “Alluka first because she’s better than all of you,” he declared, grabbing her mug to ladle cocoa into it.

“We can sit in the living room,” Kurapika proposed, cupping his mug between his hands. They trailed behind him, finding their places among the seats. Leorio, Kurapika and Alluka shared a couch while Killua and Gon sat on upholstered chairs, all positioned around a coffee table.

Leorio sat in the middle of the couch, body slanted towards Kurapika, his long arm draped over top of the cushion behind him. Tonight, the pair were talking just to talk, lounging about and exhibiting a lack of urgency still unfamiliar to Gon. There was no faraway country for them to fly to in the morning, no ambition sparked by a terrible tragedy to chase, risking their own lives on the hunt. Right now, they were simply being. Gon’s heart swelled, considering the pair’s achievements, and a whisper at the back of his mind wondered if his own future could be some version of this scene—living in a place his friends could easily access, tucked away in a forest.

The sun had long since set, their conversation lapsed and a yawn ripped from Leorio. Their mugs were all set on the tabletops around them, having been emptied soon after they cooled.

Kurapika told the group, “I think we’re going to call it a night. It’s been a long week.”

“When is it not?” Leorio emphasized, emitting another yawn and stretching his arms into the air.

Shaking his head, Kurapika stood while adding, “Please make yourself at home until you go to bed.”

“I can grab the mugs,” Gon offered, leaning forward to grasp two.

Killua rose next. “Alluka and I can stay behind and straighten up the room. Goodnight, guys. Thank you.”

“Goodnight!” Repeated Alluka. She shared hugs with Leorio and Kurapika, Killua waved to them, and Gon went with the two men to the kitchen to clean the used dishes. Kurapika tidied the room, and Gon could not recall if Leorio had volunteered for anything.

“Goodnight, Gon,” Gon heard Kurapika say as he ran a mug under the faucet.

He turned off the water and looked behind him. “Goodnight! Oh,” he uttered, rolling his hands around inside a towel, “can we use your fire pit?”

“Of course,” he replied warmly, “Thank you for your help.”

“See you in the morning,” Leorio added, standing next to Kurapika at the far end of the kitchen.

“Thank you, this has been really great.” He shared a sincere smile with the two of them before ejecting one last, “Goodnight!”

Turning off the light, he left the room and strolled deeper into the house, grabbing his jacket in the foyer. He made his way back to Killua and Alluka, illumination from the grand living room trickling into the corridor. He again took in the careful touches around the home: a fine vase upon an antique console table, a painting of wildflowers, all thoughtfully chosen and positioned. Looking down a hallway, Gon saw Kurapika and Leorio stepping into a room together, Leorio’s hand on the small of the others’ back, his nose touching Kurapika’s hair.

Wait. What?

Leorio only brought his briefcase for the whole weekend. He had personal access to the property. The framed photo of just the two of them. The way he and Kurapika were sitting on the couch.

“O—oh! ” Gon blurted, as if out of his control.

The blonde turned quickly upon hearing the utterance. “Gon!” He stepped back from Leorio. “This isn’t very subtle of us…”

“Kurapika, it’s your house,” Leorio scolded, shoulders raising, “You can do whatever you want!”

“At least one of us is concerned with decency,” he retorted, crossing his arms.

Gon interrupted, “Were you going to tell us?!”

“We… kind of assumed our friends knew,” Kurapika replied.

A shout of ‘You’re just dense!’ came from down the hall. Despite a vein throbbing in his forehead, Gon chose to ignore Killua’s mocking. Gon’s demeanor softened, the realization having been further absorbed: two of his best friends finding love in each other. He hoped they would never be alone.

“That’s really great, guys!” He exclaimed, grinning at them with all of his teeth.

Leorio and Kurapika exchanged glances before Kurapika replied, “We’re glad you think so.”

They smiled back softly before repeating their goodnights and turning away from each other. Gon padded down the hallway towards the living room, the corridor seemed to wobble as he put one foot in front of the other, each wall swaying independently. Kurapika and Leorio, in a relationship, living together, sharing a room, but there was no reason it should have any affect on him. In his short 16 years of life, Gon had witnessed things beyond his time; death, suffering, sacrifice, but he never had a model for or experience with love. He never knew his own parents growing up, he would still refuse any information about his biological mother, and although he loved his friends and his guardians, he had barely encountered the kind of love where you hold each other close and shut the door behind you.

He paused, sucked in a deep breath through his nose, the air giving him enough weight to return to his own body, and continued forward. With each step, he imagined squashing the persistent cycle of thoughts and questions arising, such as, ‘They’re both men,’ and, 'Have other couples met through the Hunter exam?’ None of it was relevant, he told himself.

“Hey guys,” Gon greeted once he passed the threshold into the living room, smiling at the sight of Killua and Alluka.

“Hi,” Alluka sang, the syllable quickly turning into a yawn. She rubbed a fist over her eye. “I'm sleepy.”

“I’ll walk you to the room,” Killua offered, holding out his hand for Alluka to grab. He led her away a few steps before looking behind him, his face tinged with blush.

“Be back soon,” Killua said. Their eyes caught and Killua immediately whipped his head back around. Gon’s heart leapt and the crown of his scalp heated with the sight of Killua’s blue gaze etched into his mind. Shifting from his heels to his toes, he could hear Alluka’s ascent up the stairs, while he awaited Killua’s return. Gon went to lower the overhead lights, flipping every switch on multiple panels around the room to find an acceptable balance.

With the indoor lighting lower, Gon could see the backyard more clearly, the round brick fire pit rising from the stone patio. Tonight, it was reserved for him and Killua, and just imagining the two of them in the night alone under a blanket of stars was enough to make his pulse speed up. He swallowed hard. He was still staring out the glass sliding door into the backyard when Killua reappeared behind him, his voice being the only indication of his return.

“You ready to go?” Killua asked cooly, slowly walking up to him.

“Yeah!” Gon confirmed, dragging the door open. He turned off the lights inside before informing Killua, “Firewood’s out by the driveway.”

“It’s nice when we don’t have to do all the work ourselves,” Killua mentioned as they stepped outside, heading towards the stash of pre-chopped wood.

“It has been a long day,” Gon said, stretching his arms out then dropping them with a soft grunt.

Killua looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “And yet this was your idea.”

“I don’t want to miss our chance to do this together.”

It came out so naturally. The words he used were the same as when they were younger, but they felt denser on his tongue, as if they now had more meaning. Killua disparaged him, questioning his mental state, and as they filled their arms with logs, Gon simply chuckled.

They walked back to the fire pit, and with the air quiet between them, Gon could not resist asking, “Did you know?"

“Know what?”

“About, uh, Kurapika and Leorio.”

“Yeah, I could see the signs. Lovers were a common trend in assassination jobs,” Killua answered, pointing his face away from Gon.

Gon’s eyes locked onto Killua. “Lovers?” Blood rushed to his face, his ears burning as if they were releasing steam.

“I don’t know the details!” Killua’s voice became louder and sharper and he motioned with his hands, “There's something romantic going on between them. I don’t pry!” He groaned and much more quietly, commented, “Besides, you’re the one who’s supposed to be experienced with this stuff.”

“Huh?” Killua should know he was not the least bit experienced with romance! They did talk about dating years ago, but Gon considers outings with Aunt Mito dates! “The women passing through Whale Island? It was never serious with them. This seems more, well…”

Killua straightened up, and after walking a few more steps, mumbled, “Do you think it’s weird?”

“No!” Gon quickly responded. “Of course not, I’m happy for them! I just… wasn’t expecting it. It's not like much is going to change. I don’t know why I’m so surprised.” He shrugged, looking around as if the reason was within view.

“Well, they’ve always acted like an old married couple,” Killua lifted his chin. “But… It caught me off guard too. I knew they were close, but…”

They both made respective grunts as if to say, ‘We’re done talking about this.’ Approaching the pit, they dropped their logs to set up the campfire.

He and Killua had never gone into much detail about things like love or romance, and Gon was not even sure if he could yet have a productive conversation about such topics. The women he dated at home taught him the art of courting but he never felt an emotional bond with them. The same with Palm, yet it was nothing against her; she was beautiful, smart and interesting, but he did not feel nearly the same connection with her as he did—

“You’re thinking loudly,” Killua mentioned, stacking another log inside of the brick-rimmed pit.

“Sorry,” Gon said monotonously, blinking a few times and returning to the present. He turned his head slowly towards Killua. “Have you met anyone on your travels that you liked?”

Killua scratched the side of his head and released a harsh groan. “What kind of question is that? I’m doing this for Alluka and Nanika. I want them to experience the world, I’m just there to show them around.”

Gon pulled a book of matches out of his pocket, struck one, and threw it on a pile of kindling atop the wood. A hungry orange flame consumed the debris and fused onto the corner of a log, spreading and growing with each passing second.

“I’m glad this includes showing them around,” Gon mentioned. He hesitated for an instant before looking at Killua.

“As long as they’re happy.” Killua cleared his throat before affirming, “And, yeah, me too.”

Gon drew out a full breath. “So is that a no…?” He prodded.

Killua reactively pushed back his hair. “Shut up! Of course it’s a no!”

Gon smiled with all of his teeth, changing the subject while Killua simmered beside him. They discussed the city, the past year, Killua’s sisters and Kurapika’s house, and Gon recalled a moment from when they were all in the kitchen earlier.

“Wait, Killua.” He twisted his trunk, facing him head on. “Alluka doesn’t know about Hisoka?”

“Why would I talk about him?” He asked incredulously. “He’s not exactly a fun topic.”

Shrugging, he suggested, “He can’t be the only thing you keep from her.”

“What am I supposed to tell her? That I’ve stabbed people straight through with my bare hands?!”

Gon leaned forward, scrunching his brow together. “Well, haven't you?”

“That’s not the point!” Killua huffed, clutching his forehead.

Gon gave him an austere expression. “I know that part of you and I stuck around.” Killua turned away and Gon bent towards him, unrelenting.

“Yeah, but you’re not right in the head,” Killua grumbled.

“Killua.”

“What?” He said louder.

“It’s her family and friends.”

“I want her to forget about the Zoldycks.” His hands erratically sliced through the air in front of him. “She was too young to remember why they put her in a vault in the first place. It's fine. This is fine.”

“You’re lying to her.”

“What about you and Aunt Mito?!” He hissed.

Gon puffed a breath out of his nostrils. “I wanted to tell her about being a Hunter but she asked me to spare her the details.” He tilted back, adjusting himself in his chair. “It hurts sometimes, hiding a big part of myself from her, but I tried.”

Pulling a leg towards his chest, Killua rested his arm limply on his knee. Seconds passed before he told the ground, “You just can’t shut your mouth…”

“Ki-llua!”

“But there’s never any doubt of what you’re thinking,” he said exasperatedly, flinging his head back, touching both feet on the ground. “As an assassin, I’ve taken so many lives without hesitation. But when it comes to Alluka and Nanika, I’m always questioning if I’m doing the right thing by them.”

“Just by saying that, you’re an amazing big brother.”

“I’m… really worried about what her reaction will be.” His chin dropped to his chest. “Before my parents locked her up, she did some things that were completely out of her control—she hurt people. Badly.”

Gon steadily released a breath of air, touching a finger under his bottom lip. Since Killua was being so vague about the subject, it probably meant Alluka had killed someone. But if she did not mean to, she must have been used for her power, and she was not at fault.

“Hm.” Gon crossed his arms purposefully. “If she feels guilty, just remind her she’s already been locked away most of her life.”

Something he said made Killua frown, and although he groaned audibly, Gon had more to say, “And it’s probably best that you, someone she trusts, tells her. Whatever happened doesn’t define her. We aren’t our pasts or mistakes, and you know that more than anyone.”

Killua cast his eyes away and quietly added, “I hope you know it, too.”

Gradually, unconsciously, they had twisted towards each other. They sat crooked in their chairs so their knees were almost touching, Killua looking in his lap, a blush visible on his face in the firelight. His gaze flicked up to Gon, then right back down as if he were caught looking. A floating sensation rising in his stomach, Gon found himself staring at Killua’s chin, his pulse sprinting. He adjusted his spine, reeling himself in, resisting the urge to lean forward and meet Killua’s face with his own, considering he was not anywhere near brave enough to imagine what could happen next.

Sucking in air, his heart sprinting, Gon honed a shred of courage and scooted his chair closer to Killua’s. This was not the same intoxicating thrill he felt diving into a predator’s lair or confronting enemies multiple times his age in battle, he thought as he extended out his arm. The stakes were higher; he could live with or heal from any injury, but there was no way he could continue if he hurt Killua again. A faint numbness spread throughout his body as blood rushed to his head, and his hand landed at the base of Killua’s neck.

Subtly, as if only a suggestion, he applied pressure to his fingertips, silently directing Killua towards him. A long quiet huff later, Killua relented and perched his head atop Gon’s shoulder, shifting in his seat, pivoting closer to him. They stared at the fire, not saying a word, Gon trying to temper his heart rate with steady deep breaths, his focus deteriorating as he felt the rhythmic rise and fall of Killua’s chest.

Killua moved ever so slightly as he breathed, and when his hair tickled Gon’s neck, Gon was positive his insides would melt. This was the only place in the world. The fire was perfect, a million stars hung overhead, Killua was leaning on him and nothing else mattered. He shut his eyes, slowly filling his lungs. This was all he needed.

As if a thick shadow had fallen upon him, warmth dissipated from his skin. Gon felt Killua stand, leaving his side, and his eyes flitting open, he could see him standing in front of his chair, his head dipped.

“Sorry,” reached Gon’s ears. Seconds ticked by. He held his breath.

Suddenly, Killua arched his back and yawned dramatically, spinning around on his heel. “I was falling asleep!”

Gon blinked twice, his brow raising. “Y-yeah, me too.”

Killua grabbed a shovel and used it to chop up the burning logs in the pit, turning them to bits of ash. Only when the static cleared from Gon’s head did the words form in his mind, ‘What just happened?’

He left his seat and dragged it back to its original position before grabbing the unused logs. As he went to return the extra firewood, his chest clenched with uncertainty—was he too forward? Did he make Killua uncomfortable? Killua was frequently uncomfortable, but was he too uncomfortable? Killua was an expert at concealing his true thoughts, Gon reminded himself, slinking to the back door. After Gon’s revival, he vowed he would be more attentive to Killua, but there was only so much he could infer with Killua being so guarded. He could only conclude to be gentle in all of his advances, patiently offering quiet hints of his affection until he received an answer.

If Gon did manage to ever be with Killua, how could he possibly know what shape they would take together? The prospect of an unpredictable adventure used to make his heart race with excitement, but now, that feeling floated upon a deep reservoir of anxiety. He had spent these past two years making efforts for Killua to trust him again, but he had yet to think about if he trusted himself with Killua. With Killua’s heart in his hands, Gon could make the same mistakes with him again, allowing his own emotions to cloud his judgment, completely obscuring Killua’s needs.

They met at the back door, Killua voicing, “Ready to go in?” He was still projecting a forced enthusiasm, his disposition fitting jaggedly among the calm atmosphere around them and the sloshing apprehension within Gon.

“Yeah, I am. Except I might not be able to remember where my room is in this mansion…” he finished, scratching his cheek with his pointer finger.

Killua lifted his hands in front of his chest and wiggled his fingers independently. “You’re doomed to wander the halls in obscurity.” He snickered to himself while Gon whined.

“What does that mean!?”

“Just don’t wake up Alluka,” Killua said, sliding open the glass door.

With the door fully ajar, before Killua stepped ahead, Gon slipped around him, bolting into the darkness of the home and teasing back, “Don’t worry, I’ll only haunt you.”

Gon flawlessly dodged around furniture and other obstacles, able to see clearly despite the lack of light indoors. He could not remember exactly which door led to his room, but he knew all of the guest rooms were upstairs, and there was only one staircase, closer to the front of the house. All he had to do was reach the top of the stairs before Killua—he had the speed advantage, but Gon had the sight advantage, and Killua might be more cautious traversing a friend’s home in the dark.

Killua’s footsteps followed him silently, at least Gon expected, as he still traveled with the soundless gait of a trained assassin. Gon zipped up the stairs, gulping for air at the landing, yet standing perfectly still, back pressed up against the wall. Killua saw him instantly upon climbing the stairs, mitigating Gon’s attack, and with Killua hurling whispered insults, the two of them wrestled noiselessly upon the wood floor. Killua poked and prodded at Gon in defense, but it was all worth it, getting to witness his sharp cat eyes and wrapping his arms around him once more before the night ended.

---

Gon awoke with the sun, staying in his room with the door slightly ajar until he heard stirring elsewhere in the house. The morning was spent gathering supplies and packing for their camping trip; Kurapika owned a large parcel of forested land behind his home, with a trail carved through it. The group would take the trail to a nearby stream and stay for two nights. There were two tents among the five of them, and everyone agreed that Leorio and Kurapika should have their own. Kurapika, his brow pinched crookedly, seemed only slightly embarrassed by the decision.

“Okay,” Leorio announced, pulling out a list, “Who’s got the lanterns?”

“We do!” Replied Alluka.

“Grill rack?”

Gon raised his hand. “Me!”

“I have the first aid kit,” Leorio declared, checking each item off individually down one column on his sheet of camping essentials—he would check off the opposite column before heading home.

“Can we go now, ya nerd?” Killua asked.

“You’ll be thanking me when you don’t leave anything behind in the woods!”

“We’ve been traveling for two years, you don’t think everything I own hasn’t been lost or stolen by now?” He crossed his arms. “I’ll just buy a new one.”

“Well you don’t watch your stuff very well, Big Brother,” Alluka accused.

Killua’s eyes slitted open, as if to check anyone’s reaction to her comment.

“Okay, tent one.” Leorio continued, lifting his pad of paper.

“I have it,” answered Kurapika.

Leorio confirmed the last item, and they left Kurapika’s home from a door across the hall of his garage, which led into the backyard. Kurapika and Leorio walked ahead, next to each other, as the trail comfortably accommodated two hikers positioned side to side. Alluka and Killua went next, with Gon in the back. The trail was carved out of a thicket of forest, branches from trees on either side of the path blocking out the bright sky overhead. Their route was clear, seemingly maintained regularly, barely any foliage or debris they had to step around or over.

It was a smooth and easy journey, no noticeable elevation or descent throughout. As they proceeded, Gon’s ears pricked with the sound of a familiar trill. It was soft yet firm, coming from above him within the branches. He paused his stride to confirm—the rest of the group strolled ahead while he listened for another moment.

It was Killua who turned around to check, “You decided to stay behind?” He probably sensed Gon trailing, but not the rustle in the branches. Gon softly touched the back of his ear, the rest of the group stopping to look at him.

Gon broke the silence, saying, “An Anorkan Grub-Eater.”

A flash of yellow burst from the canopy, flying across the trail back into the trees like a bright spectre. Muffled calls followed its departure, eventually becoming indistinct from the other wild noises.

“It’s looking for food.” Gon explained in a low tone.

Alluka’s face brightened with curiosity. She requested, excitement breaking through cracks in her soft tone, “Can we find it?”

“I watched a documentary on these guys!” Leorio announced quietly, crouching like he was about to stalk. “I know what to do.”

“On these specific birds?” Kurapika asked, unconvinced.

“Okay… Maybe a scene.” Kurapika stepped ahead, Leorio’s tone becoming increasingly desperate, “A mention.”

Gon crept forward silently, explaining, “They’re skittish, but they’re distracted because they’re hungry. They’re eating all they can before the cold sets in. Just move slowly so they’re less likely to notice you.” He looked back at Alluka and smiled. Her eyes widened and she nodded quickly to confirm her understanding, and Leorio did the same. Gonslipped off his pack, lowered it softly to the ground, and the rest of the group echoed his motions.

“And most importantly, make sure you breathe very slowly. Calm breath means a calm body.” He smiled at Alluka and noticed Killua’s visible adoration towards his sister. Gon’s face heated and he swiftly whipped back around, avoiding anyone’s eyesight. He pointed ahead, following his ears to an ambiguous spot deeper into the woods.

The trees around them were sturdy and mature, strong branches hanging high above their heads. Saplings stood around them, smooth flat leaves grazing his skin as he passed by. Gon quietly shared some information on the bird to Alluka while they proceeded, like its migration patterns and appearance. The ground, blanketed in dewey brown leaves, began to slope upwards the farther they moved from the path. Trees grew sparsely up the incline, and they could see the top of the hill from where they stood.

Scanning the branches, Gon spotted a streak of yellow, but Killua uttered first, “I see one.”

Kurapika whispered next, “There’s another.”

Alluka’s head jerked between both of them, desperation wrinkling her brow.

“Up there.” Killua pointed with a whisper, directing Alluka’s sight high up the branches of a tree atop the rise.

Alluka put both hands in front of her mouth, her eyes glistening upon spotting the small creatures. Killua tapped his smiling lips with his pointer finger, wordlessly signaling for her to remain quiet, yet pleased with her reaction. He was behaving like a schoolboy, aware of the rules but delighted to break them. Suppressing her voice, Alluka lowered her arms, visceral wonder upon her face. Killua’s expression softened, watching her as if one would watch their own child, and Gon could feel his own insides melting the longer he looked at him. He glanced at the ground, his eyelids heavy, and raised his gaze to the trees.

In total, he counted five small birds, latched on to the tall trunks, their yellow bellies against the wood. Their backs were a dusty gray, and he whispered to Alluka that their beaks were long and pointed to pry away bark to reach the morsels underneath. The animals hopped in circles around the tree trunks, flitting from one to the other, locating sections to eat. They chirped as they ate, a sound somewhere in the middle of a melody and a call, each one at a different tempo and pitch, their voices weaving around and layering with one another. Gon was transfixed, hyper conscious of the position of his body and movement of his breath, staying absolutely silent and still.

All at once, as if rehearsed, the animals scattered and time resumed again. Gon looked over at his friends, Alluka was still catatonic with elation, and Kurapika and Leorio shared a fond glance, Leorio removing his hand from the other’s shoulder. Returning to the trail, they were all vocally in awe of the collection of little creatures, Alluka squealing about how cute they were and Killua patting her head, praising her on her behavior.

Witnessing the birds was enchanting, Gon thought, the chance that they would encounter so many in one place, hearing them sing together, seeing the bliss upon Killua’s face. His heart quickened again and he blinked hard, inhaling deeply before refocusing on the rest of his friends. They continued talking about the birds, pointing out every noise and sight in the trees and comparing them to the Grub Eaters. It did not take long for Gon to once more tip his chin up, noticing a change in their environment ahead.

“Kurapika, is that the river?” Gon inquired. He could hear the faint swishing of a modest current in the distance, not too wide nor deep.

“Yes it is,” he replied, glimpsing over his shoulder, “We have just a couple more minutes of walking.”

Gon trotted forward swiftly to catch up, placing himself right behind Killua.

Killua, twisting around, nudged him. “How do you do that, you dog?” He accused.

Gon chuckled through his teeth. “I can just hear better than you.”

“Not even jealous. You’re feral.”

Gon stuck his tongue out and Killua spun his head back around, obstructing Gon from the rest of the group. While they proceeded, Killua put his arm around Alluka’s shoulder, his attention devoted to her, and Gon was quick to remind himself that he was second to Alluka and always would be—but at least he had a place on Killua’s list. Second was not so bad.

The tree line on either side of them expanded, wrapping around a clear cove with a stone rimmed fire pit in the middle. A log bench and three stools were positioned around the pit, and the forest funneled off at the opposite end of the clearing. Kurapika had told them he chose this location for the campsite due to it being slightly higher elevation. The river was just a few meters ahead down a winding path. They all dropped their bags, immediately unzipping them to set up the grounds for their stay.

“Pika and I are going to cut firewood,” Leorio told the group, alternating swinging his arms. Kurapika stood next to him, the head of an ax resting on his shoulder.

“I’ll grab sticks and brush for kindling!” Gon offered.

Killua muttered, “You are a dog…”

Alluka jabbed her brother with her elbow before announcing, “I’ll go with Gon!”

“Alright.” Kurapika acknowledged, nodding once. “Killua, a third would help us greatly.”

“Yeah, I got ya,” he responded, approaching Kurapika and Leorio while rubbing the side of his head.

The two groups went in opposite directions so as to not obstruct each others’ work. Gon led Alluka into the thicket and hunching over, they scanned the forest floor for material.

“Being out here reminds me of Whale Island, Gon! How are Aunt Mito and Grandma Abe doing?”

“They’re great! Same routine but all the visitors keep things interesting. They’re both glad I’m home…” Gon glanced to the side wistfully before looking back to Alluka. “They really cherish your letters.”

Alluka’s expression softened to mush, mouth stretching wide, eyes forming curved lines. She giggled airily, exclaiming, “That makes me so happy!”

Gon watched her laugh, touched by the bond between Alluka and Aunt Mito. For all Gon knew, Aunt Mito never planned on becoming a mother herself, but having a child in her life that was more aligned with her values had to be nice. Perhaps, even if she did not realize it, she thought her influence could steer one kid away from the path of the Hunter.

“I want to write more, but Big Brother has a lot of rules so no one finds us,” she explained, disappointment reluctantly peeking out of her voice.

“Well, if I’ve learned anything, things can change fast. I bet it’ll be soon when you can stay with us even longer,” Gon reassured.

“I hope so! And I wish we could have you over!” She swished the twigs in her hand through the air. “But my family’s not really nice besides Big Brother.”

“Don’t worry Alluka, I’ve been there before!”

“Like on a tour?”

“Well, it started off that way. But before Killua could get you out, someone had to get him out! Leorio and Kurapika helped me. Canary, too.” Gon grinned, reminiscing the trials they faced on Kukuroo Mountain, the sheer absurdity of the rules and intensity of pain he endured, all making him stronger in the end. “And if I’m being honest, I’d want to visit the grounds and the butler’s quarters again, but not your house.”

“Same. I’m so happy I have Big Brother.” She blinked a few times, as if contemplating her next words. “You care about him a lot too, don’t you?”

Gon flinched slightly, then let out a long breath of air, a deep feeling of comfort flowing through him like a warm ocean breeze while he pondered the thought of him.

“Yeah, I do,” he said, swiveling away from Alluka. He suddenly felt bashful, his throat too tight to say any more.

Gon heard Nanika’s gritty laughter as she swayed and cheered, ‘Ki-llu-ah’ in three syllables. He stifled a laugh of his own and ducked his head, heat still pooling in his cheeks.

“I know what you mean, Nanika,” he said, patting the back of her head.

“Gon save Killua!” Nanika continued.

“What!?” He touched the fingertips of his hand to his sternum. “You and Killua saved me—Gon!”

After the battle with Pitou, Killua’s actions were enough to convince Gon he was deserving of a place in this world. Ging left him, the majority of people Gon met on Whale Island left after only a few days, and time after time, every foe he met, it was proven just how weak he was; but even if Gon felt his life was dispensable, there were people dear to him who would kill him for throwing it away. Gon could barely comprehend that someone so amazing, someone he was so grateful to know, cared about him deeply, too.

“And I’ll never forget that. I owe you big time,” Gon uttered, bending over to pick up a dry curled scrap of bark.

He rose and saw Nanika standing still, a black smile carved above her chin, clutching a bundle of sticks between both hands as if she were clutching a bouquet.

“Even.” She skipped and leaned forward to grab another small branch. Gon smiled to himself, hearing her chant, ‘Stick, stick’ with each one she acquired. He would not argue, but he would continue to provide everything he could for his friends, as it would take an eternity to show his gratitude, even for simple gatherings like this.

Gon and Nanika returned to the campsite and dropped a portion of their twigs and scraps in a pile away from the fire pit, Gon keeping a handful to weave a bundle of kindling. Moments later, Killua appeared in the clearing, holding a stack of firewood in front of him. Gon glanced over to his approach, his eyes following from the logs to the sheen of sweat on Killua’s chest to his face. He coughed a single time inside of his mouth.

“Hey guys,” Killua greeted, jerking his head to the side to remove his hair from his eyes. “Hi Nanika! It’s nice to see you!”

“Killua!” Nanika trotted over to her brother, stopping expectantly in front of him.

“One moment, Nanika. I just need to set this up,” he explained warmly, lowering the logs to the ground. As he stacked up the logs, Kurapika and Leorio entered the campsite, carrying their own supplies of wood. Killua having finished, he stood, brushing his palms on his shorts. Nanika stared at him with her pitch black pits and smile, her eyes shrinking closed as Killua petted her hair.

“Good job, Nanika. You’re the best help.”

With Kurapika and Leorio present, the group agreed to prop up their tents at once, placing the openings perpendicular to one another. The shelters went up easily, and while Leorio and Killua were loading supplies inside of them, Gon built a bonfire. Kurapika, thanking Gon, unfolded the camping grill over the logs, balancing it over the stone rim of the pit in preparation for their meal later.

“Alright, Pika, the tent's ready!” Leorio emerged from their shelter, having changed into a button down shirt adorned with a large floral pattern and bandana across his forehead. In the next instant, he was seated on the log bench, hand gripping a beer can, other hand pinching the tab. He snapped the top and sipped loudly, leaning back, noisily exerting his satisfaction.

Kurapika sighed at length, yet a smile tugged at his lips. He muttered a conceding remark about Leorio having done his part, and before heading to their supplies, asked the group, “Could one of you who’s not Leorio start the fire?”

“I have matches in my bag,” Gon said, starting towards his pack.

Killua bent down, placing the kindling atop of the stack of wood. “No need, I got this.”

One hand in his pocket, he transmuted a thread of lightning in between his free pointer finger and thumb, then touched the spark to the fibers, which ignited immediately. Gon blinked in awe; he had not seen Killua use nen in years. He had almost forgotten how effortless it was for him to employ his Hatsu, no charge up necessary before each implementation. Straining his memory, he could not recall the last time he saw someone use nen—even when he did field research with Kite and their crew, they never encountered any major threat.

The wood crackled as the fire spread, small flames flitting into the air above. Gon dropped himself on a stump, acutely aware of all the aura leaking from his skin. He could not feel or sense it, but he knew of the waste from the absence of Ten’s dense warmth enveloping him. His stomach sank with the realization he had been without Nen for longer than he had it. His tenure as a Hunter had been a supernova: a violent, fatal explosion of power, then quiet.

Kurapika arrived at the fire with a small soft cooler. Tomorrow, Gon promised to catch them dinner from the river, but for their upcoming meal, they were eating meat skewers. Kurapika had prepared them in the morning to marinate, and earlier, he explained the original recipe would have been made with a combination of ingredients cultivated in his home forest and some bought or traded from the nearby village.

Once the fire was hot enough, Kurapika meticulously brushed oil over the grill, leaving behind a slick sheen on the metal. He pulled the skewers from a container, placed them onto the grates, instantly entrancing Gon with sounds of sharp sizzling and rich aromas of shade grown herbs. Gon observed the meat dripping a yogurt coating into the fire before congealing, browning, then charring, with Kurapika flipping and moving them for a perfectly even cooked consistency throughout.

Plating the skewers, Kurapika first passed one to Alluka, taking his seat next to Leorio after everyone else received their meal. Fluttering his knees in excitement, Leorio wrapped his arm around Kurapika’s shoulder and pulled him into his chest, all while congratulating him at how great everything looked. Kurapika feigned exasperation, rolling his eyes, then pressed his cheek against Leorio’s sternum before releasing himself, straightening up to eat.

Gon’s eyes widened at their interaction, remembering Killua’s assessment of them being lovers, and he avoided facing Killua until his face cooled. Was it as easy as Kurapika and Leorio made it look, Gon wondered. Imagining replicating the couple made his throat dry up as if he had just sprinted through the forest. If only he could just be a little closer to Killua, he thought, his gaze landing on him from around the fire. He quickly bit into a piece of meat to distract himself from the thought, an explosion of savory and sour filling his senses. If Kurapika cooked like this often, Leorio was lucky.

They all chatted during their meal, and each one approached their skewer differently. Kurapika latched on to a piece of meat in the middle of his stick, sliding it up with his teeth, before taking a bite. Leorio chomped on a morsel, and with his plate sitting next to him, the rest of the chunk fell in his lap. Gon and the Zoldycks could not stifle their laughter.

“Hey, respect your elders!” Leorio demanded. He sighed, plucking the piece of food from atop his thigh and popping it into his mouth. Grumbling, he lowered one arm to his seat, his limb sinking into a teal-rimmed pit of aura and came out holding a new beer.

“Is that really the best use of your Nen?” Kurapika chided.

“I have a question!” Alluka announced, standing from her seat. “If you all had different types of Nen, what would you want your ability to be?”

A different Nen affinity. Gon had barely considered what his Hatsu would be if he could use Nen as an Enhancer again. It was just one of those things that would happen at the right time.

“Not many Hunters are open about that kind of thing, Alluka,” Killua responded lightly, a sympathetic expression on his face.

“Well no one’s around but us, right?”

“Some people can use their Nen to read minds,” Leorio mentioned, shrugging. They had encountered at least one person on their journies together who could do so.

Alluka bunched her fists under her chin, “This could be a way to trick them!”

Kurapika let out a gentle laugh before asking, “How would you and Nanika’s ability change?”

Alluka, unresponsive, looked at the ground. Silence fell upon the group, the air around them still. Gon’s chest seized, eyes fixed on Alluka, waiting for a clue to her reaction. Her eyes drifted upwards, tears threatening to spill out.

“But Nanika and I are different.” A breeze rustled the leaves above them, and besides the shimmering static, Gon could only hear his own heartbeat. He refused to speak, deferring to Killua to say the first word.

Alluka slowly gathered her hands in front of her chest, locking her fingers together. “Nanika is her own person. I wish people knew her better, but she’s so shy…”

“I’m… sorry, Alluka,” Kurapika hung his head, and Leorio placed a hand on his back. “I misspoke.”

“No, Kurapika, it’s okay,” she stepped over to him. “It’s hard because she’s a secret to everyone else, but I want you all to know she’s so nice and she’s always been there for me.”

Assuming Alluka received minimal or no outside contact for the better part of a decade, Nanika was the only person with whom she could communicate. Cruelty was not limited towards any one Zoldyck child.

“Can we ask Nanika some questions?” Kurapika inquired, breaking Gon’s line of thought. They all grinned towards Alluka, eager but free of pressure.

She interlocked her fingers and pointed her chin down, seemingly shy. “Yeah.”

“Who wants to start?” Kurapika offered, scanning the group.

Gon rocked in his seat and spouted, “What’s Nanika’s favorite food?”

Alluka shut her eyes and Nanika appeared. Her head tilted mechanically, chugging with the movement as she pondered her answer. They sat at attention, patiently anticipating her response.

“Hehe… cake!” She answered in her elevated, baby-like voice. The rest of the group all smiled and chuckled along with her.

“What’s your favorite color, Nanika?” Kurapika continued.

“Pink! Or—purple…”

“Both are good,” Kurapika assured warmly.

“What does she want to be when she grows up?” Leorio inquired.

Nanika laughed clumsily. “Umm… I dunno.”

“Maybe uhh… Baker! To make cakes!” Leorio suggested.

“Maybe.” She swayed and sat back down in her seat, leaning over and latching onto Killua’s arm. She nuzzled her face into his shoulder and he stroked her thick hair, offering sweet words about how good she was responding to their questions.

Their group had more questions for Nanika, and she ended up squeezed between Kurapika and Leorio in a fit of laughter. Killua advised that Nanika was probably tired from all the action, and asked if she was ready to go back to sleep. Nanika agreed, nodding with a yawn. She closed her eyes, keeping them closed for an extended pause, and Killua stayed looking at her with reverence. Finally, Alluka opened her eyes, bashfully looking towards the grass with her hands together.

Head low, reluctantly glancing up, she mentioned, “Kurapika… Maybe Nanika is my superpower.”

“She’s a part of you, and you of her. That will never change.” He nodded slowly with his reply. “I think that’s incredible.”

Alluka giggled, continuing, “And she’s so cool she doesn’t even need to use her power for me to love her!” She stretched out her arms and crossed them over her body as if to hug Nanika.

“I agree,” Kurapika said.

“Me too,” followed Killua.

Gon and Leorio shared their approval and Alluka latched herself onto Kurapika. He leaned to the side, his eyes widening, then gradually straightened, placing his hands on Alluka’s back and patting her lightly.

“Gon!” She called with her arms still around Kurapika. “You should start thinking about your ability for when you get your Nen back, so you and Big Brother can play again!” Gon’s heart skipped at the notion of his power returning and he heaved a deep sigh. There was no reason to avoid discussing his loss of Nen—it was a sacrifice he made and had to live with.

“I have thought about it a little,” he declared, dropping his fist into his palm. In his personal essays for school, he would never include the granular details of a brawl, but he wrote them down separately for his own review and imagination. Admittedly, he also ruminated on how he could aid Killua in battle with his potential skill. Through his pause, the rest of the group around him waited intently for his reveal.

“And… I will decide in the moment.”

They all hung their heads limply, vocalizing their disapproval and confusion. Gon rubbed his neck in response, laughing uncomfortably. They finished their meals and stacked their plates to bring to the river, along with blankets. After cleaning their plates in the current, they spread out their coverings, sitting by the water and chatting until the moon hung high over them. Gon’s heart was impossibly full, and he knew he was testing its limits when he slid onto his bed roll next to Killua. He drifted off, enveloped by the harmony of chirps and hoots from the forest, alongside the slightest sleeping breaths of the boy at his side.

In the morning, Gon slunk out of the tent, quiet enough so that Alluka did not stir. He stacked logs in the stone pit to start a fire for breakfast, and sat on a stool in front of the flame meditating, peeking an eye open when he heard shuffling from Kurapika and Leorio’s tent. There was some soft back and forth muttering between them, then after the shrill unzipping of their door, Leorio’s leg extended from the opening, followed by the rest of him lurching out. He stood, growing taller than the roof of the tent, his hand on his hips, stretching back with a huge groan.

“Keep it down out there!” Killua hissed from inside of his shelter.

“Good morning to you, too!” He replied in the direction of the disembodied voice, a yawn ripping through him as he scratched his stomach. “Hey Gon.”

“Hey Leorio!”

“Thanks for the fire,” he mumbled, reaching back into the tent and grabbing a bag before zipping it back shut. “Rough night.”

Gon just smiled as Leorio shuffled over to the pit—the former was the only one of their group to consume alcohol last night. Leorio pulled out a kettle and a pan from the sack, carefully lowering the grill over the flames. He started first heating water in the pot, then stirring it with some instant coffee in a mug. The more he sipped, he gradually reanimated, his eyes lifting higher and his limbs moving faster.

He stood over the fire, cracking eggs directly on to the pan. “Two eggs, Pika?” He called over his shoulder.

“Yes, please!”

“Kurapika is a better cook than me with most things, but no one beats my breakfast!” Leorio declared, flourishing his spatula in front of him.

Gon grinned big, asking, “Two for me too, please!”

The rest of the group filed out of their tents with the smell of food cooking over the fire. Leorio presented Kurapika with a mug of coffee, planting a kiss on the blonde’s cheek as he took it. Gon blinked while Killua jeered for them to get a room, Kurapika countering that he forgot there were children around. Alluka, still groggy, her hair in all directions, rubbed her eyes as she sat waiting with her plate on her lap, her other hand loosely holding Killua’s.

There was water at the campsite for them to scrub their plates, and they spent the rest of the morning sunbathing or birdwatching or throwing a frisbee, Killua holding Gon back by squeezing his face in one hand, resisting while Gon tried to take the disk from him. After lunch, Gon inspected the contents of his fishing pack, suspecting he would need to cast for a few hours in order to catch enough to satiate everyone. The water did not seem too active while they sat at the river last night, Gon hearing only a few instances of fish feeding on insects hovering above the river.

His friends cycled by accompanying him at the riverbank. They would all be together, then Killua would take Alluka to make a snack, Leorio would say he was grabbing something at the campsite and end up napping in his tent, and Kurapika would need to get another book or wake up Leorio. Gon got a chance to explain some fishing tips to Alluka, and let her and Nanika try holding the fishing rod, her eyes widening in amazement as if she were holding a precious artifact. Leorio lifted Alluka on his shoulders, carrying her into the river just because, and Gon invited Killua to sit with him in the trees, for no other reason than to see the sunlight filter through his snowy hair.

Gon had been consistently catching fish throughout the day, unhooking them and placing each of them in a cooler bag with ice packs. Later in the afternoon, he had a sufficient amount for dinner, but he wanted to catch extra and smoke them to give to Kurapika and Leorio for later. He peered over at his friends, divided in pairs sitting at different areas of the riverbank, the Zoldycks separated. Leorio and Killua were probably discussing Alluka’s medical treatment for her transition, as they could not see the same doctor for long without fear of being found by the rest of their family. Until they could finally settle, Leorio was gracious enough to offer advice and resources. They really did have the best of friends.

The minutes passed and his friends regrouped, Leorio joining Kurapika and Alluka, Gon noticing Killua approaching from his periphery.

“You’re really taking your time,” he teased.

Gon snickered. “I’ll be sure to serve you last, if you get any at all.”

The white haired boy chuckled back while Gon lifted himself to stand beside him. They talked while the fishing hook bobbed in the water, Gon repeatedly reeling it in and casting it back out. Glancing into the water, Gon saw a streak of dark color in the river near his bare feet.

“Killua, look,” he whispered harshly, gesturing to a fish swimming in the shallow water.

He followed Gon’s direction, then slumped his shoulders, commenting, “Dumbass. It missed the bait.”

“Shh!”

“What?” Killua hissed, “It’s not like it’s going to hear me!”

Gon glared at him before slowly setting his fishing rod on the ground. Pulling his arms in, he positioned himself to strike, prowling closer to the water. Eyes locked on the creature, he crouched lower, studying its movements, while he perched completely still for the perfect moment to strike. He saw the translucent bulges of its eyeballs from above and heard his heart beating inside of his ears.

Now.

His arms launched into the water, and he pulled the fish from the creek with a loud, “Ah-ha!”

The animal flailed erratically, slapping against the backs of Gon’s palms. As it flapped around, wriggling itself free from his grip, Gon continuously alternated his hands over one another to keep hold of its slick body. Next to him, Killua was yelling but Gon was not processing a single word, trying to keep the squirming fish steady. The creature, seemingly harnessing one last burst of energy, flung itself from Gon’s hands and slapped against Killua’s chest. Muscles rigid, Gon’s eyes grew, flicking up to Killua who was equally paralyzed. As if feeling gradually returned to his body, Killua slowly lowered his arms and tilted his head down, a vicious look upon his face.

“Killua! Sorry!” Ducking, Gon called while Killua lunged at him. “I said I’d grab it, not hold it!” He could barely get the last words out through his own laughter.

“You did that on purpose!” He hollered, pursuing Gon.

Gon dashed into the creek, hopping onto a rock jutting out of the water. He jumped as Killua swiped under his legs and then flipped around, dipping his foot in the current to kick water towards him. Killua phased out of vision, appearing on the same rock on which Gon had landed. Gon made his way upstream, leaping from stone to stone, but Killua soon caught up, somehow getting ahead, Gon almost running into him. To avoid him, Gon rocked back on his heels, and Killua’s arms shot forward, grabbing Gon’s hands with his own, interlocking their fingers together.

Gon steadied, bending his knees, he and Killua’s hands laced and hovering between them. He felt pressure from Killua’s palms and thrust the soles of his feet into the rock below, rooting himself in place. They locked eyes and Gon pushed forward harder but Killua would not move either. Killua’s hands were sturdy and Gon could sense the heat emanating from his skin as he resisted. Gon grunted through his teeth, leaning his head forward so Killua’s mouth was at his ear and he could feel his breath over his neck and then he was falling to the side, his ankle catching on the solid ground and bending inwards before his body hit the water.

Surfacing, he dragged himself out of the river, one leg trailing behind. Reaching the shore, he straightened up, a stinging pain shooting in his ankle, but nothing on which he could not walk. Killua had hopped back to the riverbank to meet Gon, and the rest of his friends were close to follow. Leorio had procured a small first aid kit, ordering Gon to sit so he could inspect his injury. Alluka leaned in towards Gon, asking if he was okay, while Killua lingered back, keeping his distance and shifting in place. Kurapika suggested he and the Zoldycks prepare for dinner while Leorio tended to Gon, and the three of them headed towards the campsite.

“You need to stay off of this tonight!” Leorio scolded. He lifted Gon’s leg gently, inspecting the swelling of his ankle. “Anyone else I’d say at least one week…”

Gon chuckled. “You sound like Master Wing.”

“Huh?” He uttered absent-mindedly, unzipping his pouch to extract a roll of bandages.

“Killua and I’s nen master! Osu!” Gon shouted, clenching his fists and straightening his arms by his sides.

Leorio stretched out a section of dressing, wrapping the wounded joint. “Right. He taught you before Bisky.” A couple rotations later, he commented, “Maybe I could consider Ging my first nen master. He did help me awaken my Hatsu.”

Gon emitted something between a sigh and a laugh, ducking his head.

“He was asking for it,” Leorio insisted, pointing up his nose.

“Probably.” Gon looked at the tree canopy. “I don’t know why, but I have a soft spot for the old man.”

“He is your dad. Even if he’s bad at it.”

“I kind of feel bad for him. I couldn’t know Aunt Mito and not be a part of her life.” He paused before continuing, “I couldn’t leave the people closest to me behind.”

“You’re a much better man than he is, even if you can act like a child.” He wrapped a layer of dressing tightly enough to make Gon wince. “We can only hope that one day he’ll redeem himself.”

“Only if it’s fun enough for him,” Gon snickered.

“There’s no purpose in simply collecting experiences. You make time for the things that matter.” Leorio stood as if emphasizing his point. “I’ll help you back to the campsite.”

He cradled his arm under Gon’s shoulder blades, rising with him.

“Do you not think he cares about anything?” Asked Gon while he limped along with Leorio’s support.

“I think he cares about himself.” He adjusted his grip around Gon with a light grunt. “He does whatever interests him and then puts it aside for the next thing.”

“Well, if in the end, his actions are helpful, does it matter what his motivation is?”

Leorio sighed, then snickered endearingly. “You saw what the rest of the Hunters thought of him in the election hall.”

“Yeah… nowhere near how Kite and Satotz described him.”

“I think what bothers me about him so much is that he’s a great Hunter, but a terrible person. If I respected him any more, I would probably ask him for advice,” he explained, guiding Gon around a large rock on the trail.

“I expected to travel with him after meeting him at the World Tree, but I haven’t seen him since. Whale Island isn’t important enough for him to visit.”

“Who cares what’s important to him? It’s obvious he sees relationships as a means to an end. It’s pathetic he doesn’t realize…” He paused, and Gon peeked at his face, Leorio’s skin reddening. “I found a lot more meaning to my work when I had someone to share my wins with. And well, my losses, too.”

Gon chuckled softly and Leorio turned away, loudly clarifying, “And that someone can be Aunt Mito cheering you on in your studies—!” In a softer tone, he continued, “We all lived and fought through a lot. There are things we can accomplish outside of hunting.”

Gon drew a slow breath in through his nose, leaning on Leorio with staggered steps. He had nothing to prove to Ging; he found him, even if their meeting was somewhat anticlimactic, at a mandatory meeting with all Hunters, but maybe Ging made himself accessible after catching wind of what Gon had to endure fighting the Chimera Ants. Maybe that was his way of saying, ‘good job.’ It was not Ging who greeted him after his near death—it was people he had only known for a few months: Morel, Shoot, Knuckle, Palm and Knov. Other friends, like Melody, Hanzo, Bisky and Goreinu met him before he entered the convention hall, and of course, Leorio was inside, with all of his tears and screaming.

Gon had people who fought for him, who loved him without any blood connection, and maybe the reason for his distant relationship with his father was nothing more than a consequence of Ging. He had his number, they were on speaking terms, and someday, Gon could think of a way to be useful to his dad, but he had no desire to do so now. Perhaps he would run into Ging in his future travels, but looking to Leorio, Gon knew it was his friends who would always be at his side.

“So… you and Kurapika?” Gon asked, wearing a mischievous grin. “When did that happen?”

“Oh! Ha, yeah. Well, the Black Whale brought us closer, after we got off and went home, we just started seeing each other more and… there may have been some wine involved,” he finished quickly.

Gon chortled through his nose, and despite his teasing, he was nothing short of elated for the two of them.

“Like you don’t have someone you want to be more than friends with,” Leorio grumbled.

“What do you mean?” Did he make it obvious, he wondered.

“What am I talking about? You’re Gon. You’re more interested in learning how long you can hold your breath or how high you can fall without breaking your legs.”

“Ten minutes 42 seconds and 31 and a half meters.”

“Ten minutes now—?” He waved his arm in front of him as if he were shooing away an insect. “You’re not helping my point,” he muttered, slouching his shoulders.

A smile formed across Gon’s face, fading gradually after a few steps. “Well, if you have some tips on, uh, relationships, I’ll hear them.”

“I’ll have you know, Gon,” Leorio responded smoothly, his demeanor completely transformed, “Once upon a time, I was quite a hit with the ladies.”

“Hah…” Gon glanced away. “On second thought...”

They entered the campsite together, the fire crackling as it grew. Leorio lowered Gon onto a stool and Kurapika pushed another stool in front of him to rest his injured ankle.

“Gon, see what you’ve done? Now Leorio has to sit on the ground.”

“What!?” Leorio shouted, Kurapika looking unfazed.

Gon mentioned, “I can still prepare the fish. Could someone hand me the cooler?”

“Better you than us,” Killua said, retrieving the bag for Gon.

“Oh… I guess I need some sticks, too.”

“Nanika can help!” Alluka cheered, raising her hand. Smiling at her, Killua patted her head before they went together to search.

Gon watched the flame strengthen, feeling it burn hotter while his friends conversed around him, talking about the crazy food they have encountered in York New or Leorio teasing Kurapika about the time he sprained his ankle on a curb. Despite his injury and the gnawing feeling of hopelessness from his current immobility, Gon laughed alongside his friends, engaging with their stories and sharing his own.

When Killua and his sisters returned, Gon immediately started preparing their dinner, first sharpening the sticks, staking the fish through their mouths, and rubbing on seasoning before they were placed at the edges on the fire. Gon directed Kurapika when to turn them, and soon enough they were ready to eat, Killua first opening Alluka’s fish and extracting the edible flesh for her, the others chewing around the bones. Once the fish was picked clean, Leorio, Kurapika and Alluka offered to wash the dishes and collect more water at the river. Killua indicated he would stay back to keep the fire going. He kneeled in front of the pit, prodding the logs with a thick branch, sparks flying into the air. With the fire rolling, he stood, twisting to meet Gon’s gaze.

“Hey, klutz,” he said, plopping himself on the stump next to Gon. His smile was so gentle, his eyes like blue gems shining in the firelight. Gon’s body tensed, with him needing to remind himself to breathe. Their solitude was palpable.

“Sorry about earlier,” Killua uttered. “How’s it going?”

Gon tore his gaze away, grumbling, “Leorio put me in time out,” with fake annoyance injected into his tone.

“Well yeah, you can’t keep yourself out of trouble otherwise,” Killua replied, accompanying a flick to Gon’s forehead.

“Ow!” His hands shot up to cover the sharp sting. “You started it!”

“Mmm... I see it as more mutual.” He crossed his legs, turning his head to the side. His facade crumbled as he smirked, looking at Gon out of the corner of his eye.

Upon seeing his mischievous expression, Gon gave him a toothy smile back before gazing into the fire. He replayed the succession of events at the river in his mind: splashing in the water, climbing the rocks, wrestling each other and falling in. It all happened so fast.

“I’m a lot weaker than you now, huh?” Gon heard himself say.

Killua expelled a puff of air in the place of words. Gon glanced at him hesitantly, both craving and reluctant for an answer, as if awaiting the results of a medical diagnosis.

“I—have to keep Alluka safe, you know,” Killua strained to say. Gon’s chest squeezed. He wanted to cry but he could not let himself, not now. If he had not lost his power, he could still travel with Killua, protecting Alluka alongside him. But instead, due to his weakness against the Chimera Ants, he had to bargain with his life, risking all of his potential dreams, because when he realized Kite had died, he decided he would not have a future either.

“But… I know you’ll catch up. At least get close. You’ve done it before.” He offered an encouraging smile and Gon returned it. Being strong again, strong enough to compare to his friends, seemed much too far out of his reach. But looking at Killua, he knew when the time came for him to reenter the world of Hunters, he would be there to give him the lift he needed.

The rest of their friends joined, returning from the riverbank, and the five of them sat around the fire until it was reduced to coals, Killua remaining next to him the entire evening. They made cocoa, Killua pouring hot water for Gon, Alluka throwing marshmallows into his mug, and even as the flame dwindled, heat radiated within Gon’s chest, warm with Killua’s presence and insulated by the closeness of his friends. When they finally got up from their seats, Kurapika grabbed Leorio’s hands to lift him from the ground, and Killua helped Gon to their tent, wrapping his arm across his shoulder blades. Gon’s throat tightened, and despite laying flat on his bedroll, he felt wide awake next to Killua.

---

Only when the sunlight hit his eyelids did Gon realize he had eventually drifted off. They packed up their belongings after breakfast, heading back through the woods to Kurapika’s home. Leorio would take them back to the city once they had all bathed, the doctor having an early shift tomorrow morning. The forest felt solemn to Gon, quieter and calmer, and his friend’s banter around him was like paint over a blemish, a quick fix, but not solving his underlying problem. Leaving meant being away from his friends, returning to a challenging, yet scarcely rewarding daily life.

Gon would never doubt that he loved being on Whale Island with Aunt Mito and Great-Grandmother Abe, but nothing would match the exhilaration he experienced while hunting. Since realizing the actual fate of his father, Gon knew he did not belong on the island. His true nature was pursuing discoveries and pushing his limits, similar to Ging, except Gon could not imagine having fun and finding fulfillment without someone at his side—whether it be a friend or something else, he thought, his gaze floating up Killua’s solid back to his soft hair.

From the edge of his vision, Gon noticed Kurapika veer from the path. He flicked his eyes towards him, watching his movements. The blonde walked at the edge of the trail, slowing his gait, inspecting the foliage parallel to him.

“This way. I want to show you all something,” he mentioned, pushing into a tangle of branches growing out from a row of sapling trees.

“Kurapika, you sure?” Leorio asked, moving towards him reluctantly like he was approaching a wild animal.

“Yes, I’m sure.” He nodded once and turned away, the rest of the group exchanging confused glances. On their way to the campsite days ago, Gon had noticed a few broken branches and a lack of underbrush, both signs of something passing through and often. He did not mention spotting the disturbance; he figured if something was awry, Kurapika would have sensed it by now.

Kurapika traversed the brush, heading into the forest, with the rest of the group following one by one. Leorio was next, purposefully pushing ahead, out of Gon’s sight beyond the thicket. Killua shoved the branches and leaves out of the way to make space for Alluka to climb through, and he and Gon trailed last. There was noticeable space between the two in front and three in back, Leorio seemingly forgetting those behind him while trying to catch his partner, although keeping his distance.

They proceeded at a pace just short of running, as if Kurapika was trying to reenact the first phase of their Hunter Exam. They remained in their original order on the trail, Kurapika in front, not looking back once. Gon made sure to stay back with the Zoldycks, while the gap among the group progressively grew. Looking to his side, he noticed the siblings’ faces marked with vexation, Alluka struggling to keep up, weighed down by her backpack. One of her hands was joined with her brother’s, and Gon grabbed the other one, Killua immediately noticing the added tension. With a smirk, Gon joined eyes with him, and instinctively, they both flexed their arms, lifting Alluka in the air. She squealed and kicked her legs like she was riding a bicycle, a flurry of laughter escaping her.

The boys elevated her a few more times before all at once, they saw Kurapika and Leorio standing still, standing at the perimeter of another opening in the forest. Gon let go of Alluka, and they all cautiously stepped forward, Gon’s imagination running frantically with what awaited them beyond the treeline. Leorio had his arm around Kurapika, the two attached at their sides, and as Gon approached, he could see a round hut in front of them, large swirl patterns integrated into the exterior.

Upon realizing, Gon’s heartbeat suspended. It was Kurapika’s childhood home, or a recreation of it. They were all wordless, eyes fixed onto the building as if it would disappear if they looked away.

Breaking the silence, Killua requested, “You gonna invite us in?”

“Of course,” Kurapika answered with a chortle, “come with me.”

He beckoned with a small wave of his arm and led them to the front of the bungalow. The others dropped their bags after him, and he pulled a key out of his pocket and slid it into one lock, followed by two others. He twisted the knob, pushing the door open to a dimly lit interior, barely a speck of dust floating across the sunbeams cast through the windows. The inside was constructed mostly of wood, from the walls to the furniture, with multiple large rugs and tapestries of plants, wooded scenes or folk art softening the area. There was a stone fireplace with chairs near, a low table surrounded by cushions, a secretary desk against a wall and many shelves with handmade tools, dishes and art.

Gon’s breath hardened in his chest. This place seemed too sacred for him to enter. He wondered if the items were original or imitations. Kurapika went ahead into the building, and Gon proceeded on stiff legs, each step feeling as if lead had seeped into his bones. Peering to the top of the domed ceiling, he followed the vertical slats up the wall, finding lines engraved into the wood, similar to the outside. He dropped his chin, seeing his friends proceed after Kurapika’s invitation. He hovered at the edge of the group, all silent as they took in their surroundings.

“Wow…” he heard Alluka breathe.

“Yeah…” Killua echoed, resting a hand on her shoulder.

“Feel free to look around,” Kurapika offered, sitting in front of the fireplace.

Alluka immediately scurried towards the art, Killua loudly reminding her to be careful. Leorio stepped over to his partner, planting a kiss on top of his golden hair. Gon went to check out the desk and accompanying bookshelves, scanning titles such as Kurta Fighting Techniques and Fables of the Forest, all hardbound and worn. The desk was closed, the cover carved with a simple frame design. On the wall was a drawing of a fawn-haired boy, his face kind and eyes distant. Although Gon’s curiosity was strong, he did not dare to touch anything.

“There’s a downstairs, too,” he heard Kurapika vocalize.

Leorio smiled softly and Alluka audibly gasped. Kurapika lifted a rug, folding it over itself, revealing a door within the flooring. Alluka expressed how cool the discovery was, but Gon was drawn to the anterior of the hut, towards the exit. As Kurapika lifted the trap door and began to descend, Gon crept away, slinking out the back door. He shut the door carefully behind him, proceeding into the yard before firmly planting his feet into the ground, closing his eyes and inviting in the sounds of the forest around him.

His legs carried him up a slight slope of bright green grass, breeze tousling the blades that were not crunching under his feet. With sparse clouds overhead, sunlight poured into the field through which Gon walked, any shadows seemingly forgetting to emerge. A rustle of leaves drew Gon’s attention above, and when he looked back down, he had reached the top of the hill. A heavy sensation immediately pressed down on him seeing what awaited him—a black iron fenced perimeter, enclosing a perfectly aligned grid of headstones. He blinked in disbelief, unable to process the charnel scene in front of him against the vibrant surroundings. Before him was his family, Kurapika’s family, each member slaughtered for their remains.

“I buried them here.” Kurapika said from behind him. Occupied by his own thoughts, Gon did not sense his approach. Gon strained to face him, barely able to look his friend in the eye.

“Kurapika…” he uttered, still affected by the scene before him, feeling as if the ground would pull him under, too.

He glanced towards the manicured plot of headstones, as if they would tell him what to say next. Gon could tell that Kurapika did not know whose eyes were whose when he buried them; every stone was marked the same: Kurta.

“I’m sorry,” crackled from his throat.

Kurapika spoke slowly, forming each word definitively. “The circumstances are not ideal, but this is what I wanted. I can rest knowing that they’re at peace.”

They let the silence grow between them. A light breeze touched Gon’s skin, reminding him that he was alive.

“Thank you for letting me meet them.”

Kurapika nodded gradually, countless unspoken words and hidden feelings in his gesture. Gon figured it must be difficult to lift his head at all after everything he endured.

“I’m glad you could. I’m glad we had this weekend together.” They exchanged a smile and the air seemed lighter. Kurapika broke their shared gaze, looking ahead, his body tensing. He held one hand in front of his chest, his other one over the back of his wrist, as if chains would conjure upon his arm.

He breathed out, saying, “There’s something I wanted you to know: On the Black Whale, I decided my last two chain abilities. A byproduct of one of them is awakening Nen within people.”

Gon touched his chin, ruminating over the skill. Whatever hell they had to endure on the Black Whale, Gon knew there was no limit to the sacrifice Kurapika would make to retrieve his family’s remains. The first time they were in York New together, he pushed himself to illness while pursuing his goal, processing the horrors of revenge.

“I couldn’t accept the trade-off,” Gon stated flatly.

A grin pulled at Kurapika’s lips. “Always so perceptive.” He took a deep breath in, adding, “I knew my goal was nearly unobtainable, and to reach it, I had to set the stakes high.”

Chewing on his lip, Gon glanced at Kurapika uneasily. Their methods were different, but the two of them had traded unaccounted years of their own lives to accomplish their objectives, both of which were more important than living.

“I probably knocked a couple years off myself…” Gon muttered quietly.

Kurapika started again, cutting off Gon from saying any further, “Leorio saved me.” His eyelids drifted closed, as if falling into a dream for just a moment. “Since I left the forest, I’ve met so many people, but he is one of a kind.”

He reopened his eyes, and seeing them glistening panged Gon. When he was in East Gorteau, Killua was the one to save him from his sacrifice against Pitou. Both he and Kurapika needed protection from their own selves, and somehow, by luck or fate or both, the two of them found the person to provide that safety.

“Killua—”

“I know.”

Gon’s throat caught, but he managed to squeeze out, “Thank you, Kurapika.”

He felt a hand touch his shoulder and he looked up, noticing Kurapika beckoning him closer for a hug. Gon was more than fortunate to have friends who understood him, even if he would never choose to inflict the same pain he had endured onto anyone else. Kurapika and Leorio provided the guidance of older siblings that Gon lacked in his own family. Everyone he was with this weekend existed somewhere within the overlap of friends and family, held together not by blood but by shared experiences, a love cultivated and grown from chance.

Kurapika released him, still standing in front of him with one hand on his shoulder.

“I no longer have a family, but I have truly been blessed with amazing friends.”

Gon drew in a deep breath. “I feel the same way.” He cast down his gaze, admitting, “I have been meditating recently, when I’m not doing school stuff. I’m… going to see if I can do it on my own, you know, opening my nodes.”

His friend nodded slowly, lowering his arm. “I believe you can do it.”

Gon rubbed the back of his head. “Ha, thanks. No progress yet but—” he dropped his arm. “Maybe by the time I finish all my classes.”

“If you don’t mind me asking.” Kurapika met Gon’s eyes while he spoke. “Do you have an idea of what you’d like to do after school?”

“I want to go back to hunting full-time, no question about that. But—.” He suddenly felt winded, heat radiated under his skin. All he could think of was striking blue eyes and soft white hair. He shrugged, looking upwards, “I do have a tendency to act out when I’m on my own, so…”

“I see.” Kurapika dipped his chin, a playful smile on his lips. Gon, his mouth lopsided, unable to explain himself further, relied on Kurapika to say, “Let’s go back to the others.”

The pair started towards the Kurta house, Gon feeling a sense of disorientation as his surroundings faded back to reality, from a world of the dead to the living. The rest of the group was waiting by the door, Alluka straightening up when she saw them approach, raising an arm into the air and calling towards them from feet away.

“Kurapika! This is so cool, you grew up in a place like this?”

“Yes I did.” He nodded humbly, stopping before them. “At least from what I can remember—it’s been a few years. Eventually, I’ll go back to Lukso Province and learn more about my clan. I’ll build this along with my knowledge and grow with it.”

Leorio put a hand on Kurapika’s shoulder and they smiled gently at each other.

“And Leorio and I, we’re working with universities to set up grants and develop curricula for Kurta culture, history and medicine. My clan will never be forgotten.”

“As long as I have a say in it,” Leorio emphasized, pointing a thumb at himself.

Arms crossed, Killua quipped, “Geez, we should do more with our lives, we get it.”

“Brother!” Gon’s heart warmed; Killua could never get anything past his sister.

“One step at a time,” Kurapika said, smiling softly.

Leorio retorted, “Besides, we got a few years on you. You can slack off for a little longer.”

“Will you be famous?” Alluka wondered.

Kurapika chuckled lightly. “I don’t think so. I only wish to share my clan’s wisdom of living in harmony with the earth, and flourishing despite secrecy.”

“That’s so awesome, Kurapika. Both of you are doing such great things.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Gon. There’s value in waiting. Especially depending on what you’re waiting for.” The blonde winked at him.

Gon’s ears burned and he averted his gaze to a nondescript spot on the ground.

Pursing his lips, Leorio questioned, “Why do you seem like you know something?”

“What do you mean?” The blonde shrugged. “All I’m saying is obtaining a degree is a worthy use of one’s time.”

Leorio was either kind or naive enough to drop the topic, and the five of them trekked through the woods again back to Kurapika’s home. After acquiring distance from the Kurta hut, they all seemingly loosened, the Gon and the Zoldycks revealing their own questions about the clan and its culture. Kurapika detailed stories from his childhood, hunting and growing and creating and playing, so vividly as if the memories were recent. Gon walked alongside two versions of his friend, both younger and older, brimming with excitement and writhing under the weight of reality. He imagined himself as a child, running with Kurapika through the dense woods, participating in communal dinners and raising oversized birds.

During the rest of their hike, they walked within echoes of the past, Gon almost expecting to see Kurapika’s kinfolk emerge from the brush. He only had the ghosts of memories and words on paper to connect him to his heritage, yet he continued to press forward; when he accomplished a goal, he would set another, all in his family’s honor. He lived not for himself, but for his clan, existing only in name. Just like Leorio and Killua, their motivation came from loss—the loss of a childhood friend, or the loss of time with a loved one. Through the suffering and regret, they allowed a new sense of belonging to emerge amongst themselves, all discovered on the path to becoming a Hunter.

Gon glanced at Killua and Alluka, the latter in a familiar state of glee. If Gon had realized his wish in East Gorteau and perished on that island, would Killua’s dedication lie in his memory, rather than his sister? Would he be distracted, unable to be fully present for all of their shared moments? Although Gon valued his friend’s lives over his own, he has witnessed how all-encompassing the death of a beloved can be. Besides, after Kite’s revival, it was not like Gon had endured any significant loss in his life. He had a mother in Aunt Mito, and Ging had left him before he could remember.

Compared to his friends, his upbringing was uneventful, his only pain self-inflicted, and the majority of his companions from the forest. He lacked a father, but for at least a couple years of his life, he believed Aunt Mito’s lie about why he was not present, but still, his absence convinced Gon that he himself was something lesser. Despite any danger he faced in the future, he would cling to this life as tightly as he could, so that his demise would not distract his friends from their own pursuits. He would keep working and pushing for more moments like these, and maybe, hopefully, someday, they would hunt all together again.

When they came upon Kurapika’s main home, they all went towards the garage to remove their shoes, and into the house to bathe and pack. The succession of events felt regimented, as if they were following orders, all wanting to stay together longer. Gon marched downstairs with his bag on his back, and Kurapika, once again, was kind enough to prepare food. They served themselves dumplings in the kitchen and carried them to the dining table together, filling up their stomachs before their drive back to the city. Kurapika was going to stay behind for academic research before leaving to spend the next week at the Hunter Association Headquarters.

They all thanked him and hugged him goodbye, Leorio’s embrace the longest despite being with him the most, and one by one, walked out of the front door. Alluka shed a few tears, and Gon held her hand next to her in the back seat, his own emotions not quite catching up to him yet. He would see Kurapika again soon; every time they separated in the past, they always found each other again.

Like a spider bite, Gon knew tomorrow he would feel the sting more intensely. Leorio ranted during the drive back to York New to lighten the mood, telling them the story of how his clinic was able to raise money to fly a patient in for treatment. Someday, Gon thought, he would be doing something as exciting and important to himself, like climbing Heaven’s Arena with Killua, pursuing the Phantom Troupe with Killua, winning Greed Island with Killua, fighting the ants with Killua…

Gon peered out the window, the base of his neck warming abruptly. His friend’s voices filled the car, and trees became fewer as they neared the city. Leorio dropped them off at the hotel they were staying in for the night, and once they shared hugs outside of the car, he left for his own room closer to the hospital to prepare for an early shift in the morning. Alluka needed to rest on an actual mattress, and Gon and Killua went to the hotel lobby to both confirm their travel and find a place for dinner. The two boys did not talk much when they were alone, either from being tired, glum or a combination of the two, yet Gon was comfortable in their subdued communication, sitting near each other.

Alluka awoke and they walked a few blocks away to a diner to eat. They recounted their weekend over burgers, fries and sodas, trading off their neverending list of favorite memories, asking Nanika to share hers, too. Before long, Alluka declared they would go camping again soon, and they would camp all around the world as well. Gon smiled widely along with her, her enthusiasm was always encouraging. Only two more years of school, Gon thought, but, gazing at Killua, he wondered if the timing would be right then. Killua treated their bill and they headed to a nearby waterfront park before turning in for the night.

The three walked on the sea wall in a line, spun on the grass until they were dizzy, and asked to pet every dog that strolled by. Dusk fell late, and after finishing some shaved ice they bought at a stand, they decided to set off for their hotel. Their last sleep before separating, more than likely to not reunite until the next year. A profound emptiness awaited Gon, the same he always contended with on his home island. This weekend seeing his friends temporarily filled the void within him, but like an overused well, it would soon dry up. Time spent so sweetly could only result in sickness afterwards, yet watching Killua’s smile against the violet orange sunset, he would indulge as long as he could.

Suddenly, as they were walking, Alluka in front, Gon noticed Killua’s brow tighten and posture stiffen. He responded promptly with a big smile when Alluka turned to look at him between her consistent observations and musings, but returned to a state of alertness. Gon peered around inconspicuously, unable to detect anything threatening on the sparsely populated street. Breathing out slowly, he directed his focus to his hearing, picking up murmurs of air conditioning units and car engines, the clanking of doors opening and shutting and distant unintelligible chatter.

“Hey,” he whispered, “is something wrong?”

“No, I’m fine,” Killua disregarded with a quick wave of his hand.

Creasing his lips, Gon looked away from Killua, slightly irked by his dismissiveness. But then, he could discern a pattern amongst the noise, a soft chiming of metal clinking against metal. No matter how many steps they went, the sound remained the same distance behind them. Someone behind them was either wearing a chain or carried keys in their pocket, and this someone was staying on their trail.

“Killua! We’re being followed,” Gon reported in an urgent yet hushed tone.

“Shh!” Killua hissed back.

Gon’s eyes flicked between Killua and his sister, recognizing he was concealing the pursuer from her.

“We have to—”

Killua’s icy gaze pierced into Gon, freezing his thoughts in place. Uncomfortable, he shifted on his feet, knowing Killua was leaking a sinister aura, even if he could not sense it.

Noticing the friction between them, Alluka inquired, “What’s going on with you two?”

Killua lurched back, straightening himself with his arms behind his back, conveying innocence.

“Nothing,” he said through a gentle grin, “Gon’s just… being stupid.”

Anger rose in him like magma about to erupt. “Hey! What’s stupid about aghh—.” He was interrupted by Killua’s pinching and twisting the skin on his cheek.

“Hmm…” Alluka’s brow crumpled, scrutinizing the boys’ behavior. “Leorio did say you two argue like an old married couple.”

“Huh?!” Killua uttered, his arms snapping in front of his chest as if he touched something too hot. “I’m gonna kill him…” Gon heard Killua grumble as he exhaled steadily, his face throbbing in pain.

They kept going, Killua discreetly checking over his shoulder every few steps. The quiet tinkling persisted, Gon never locating the source. Being stalked by an unknown figure, his pulse sped; since they remained hidden this whole time, Gon could only assume they had ill intentions.

“Big Brother, the hotel is this way!” Alluka called from the corner of the sidewalk, pointing up the street.

“Oh, right! Sorry! I had an idea… but it’s this way!” Killua stammered, continuing forward while Gon glared at him unenthusiastically.

Trotting over to her brother, Alluka cheered, “Okay! What’s your idea?”

“You’ll know soon,” he replied, resting a hand on her head, a mushy rounded smile forming on her face. Gon could infer that Killua did not know the plan himself.

Another half of a block forward, Killua spun around abruptly, directing the group to a storefront.

“Alluka! You’ve always wanted second dessert, right?”

Placing her palm on her stomach, she replied, “Well yeah, but… maybe another day, I’m kind of full.”

“That’s nonsense! Go on in!” He placed his hands on each of their backs, pushing them towards the door. “I’ll meet you inside in just a moment!”

“Hey! Big Brother!” Alluka shouted, causing Killua to relent. Panic increasingly folded into his expression and Gon could practically hear his mind churning.

“You can’t keep her in the dark forever!” Gon declared, his gaze unwavering against Killua’s frigid stare back. Alluka’s pale blue eyes grew with desperation, sensing the severity in Gon’s voice.

Killua broke their eye contact and sighed softly, tilting his head down as if dropping any further fabricated excuses. Lifting his chin, he looked from Gon and Alluka, then his eyes slit like a feline targeting its prey. He snatched Gon and Alluka’s hands, pulling them along with him as he dashed ahead. Gon could barely touch his feet to the ground against Killua’s strength and speed, and he staggered over the concrete until Killua pivoted sharply into an alley.

“Okay seriously, what’s going on, you guys?” Alluka pleaded breathlessly once they stopped, anxiety pricking the edges of her words.

“We’re… Someone’s following us,” Killua admitted, his tone laced with defeat.

“What?! Who?!” She gathered her hands in front of her mouth, slouching forward as if to make herself smaller.

Killua peeked around her, pointing to the entrance of the corridor. “Him.”

Gon whipped his head from side to side, analyzing their location. There was only one exit to the alleyway, unless they scaled the adjacent buildings. They were effectively cornered, but confined in a narrow arena opposing Killua, the enemy would be the one at a disadvantage. Killua stepped forward, leaving the only empty air between him and the stranger. Gon could feel the hair on his skin rise as an electrified Killua passed him, threads of lightning stretching and snapping inside of his palms.

“Turn around now, and I’ll let you leave this alley,” Killua growled.

“What do you mean?” The man paced forward, twirling a knife on the tip of his pointer finger. He wore a long sleeved purple shirt with black pants, a chain hanging out of his pocket and clipped to a belt loop. One of his eyes was partially concealed by a brown curtain of hair, parted on the side with the other half tucked behind his ear. There was a scar drawn down his lip, and his gaze was intense and deranged.

Gon wondered if the weapon was a diversion from his true ability. Was he working alone? He scanned the rooftops above for any potential partners.

“I just wanted to tell your sister… how much I love her beads.”

Gunpowder burst in Gon’s veins. This bastard had been tracking them for days, waiting for their return to the city. And he dared threaten Alluka with something so dear to her. For making them feel unsafe, for even showing his presence before them, he would pay. Sick, black energy pulsated from Gon’s heart, coursing through his blood. His chest heaved with deep, hungry breaths, craving revenge, and with his vision blurring dark at the periphery, he clenched his fists and started towards their foe.

He did not make it past Killua before feeling his hand gently land on his shoulder. Like opening a drain at the bottom of a reservoir, all of the malice was immediately sucked out of him. He could see clearly again, and next to him was Killua, his face a cross between dejection and concern. He could feel the ghosts of Killua’s breath upon his skin.

“Gon,” he muttered, a slight smirk pulling at his lips, “this guy isn’t shit.”

Gon stifled a laugh. His heartbeat was quick, charged not with rage but excitement, reveling in their closeness.

“Let’s get him. Together,” said Killua. Receiving his permission, Gon nodded, and Killua released his shoulder with a lingering smile.

They sprinted ahead and made quick work of their opponent, trading only a few blows before slamming him unconscious over his own blood spattered on the pavement. Killua rolled him over and rifled through his pockets, pulling out his wallet and staring at a slip he found inside.

“Guy got a hold of a bounty on us. Probably thought we were easy targets.” He crumpled up the paper and tossed it on the man. “Damn Illumi.”

Killua twisted around and approached his sister, asking her if she was okay. Her arms crossed, she would not meet his eye and jerked away when he reached for her.

Voice bubbling with emotion, she squeaked, “Big Brother… you lied to us.” He cast his sights down, afflicted by her words.

“Nanika and I can help and you never let us!” She stomped a foot, shivering in frustration. Killua expelled a puff of air, continuing to look away from her.

“Alluka… I’m sorry. I’m sorry I lied. I thought it would be the best way to protect you.” He raised his eyes to his sister, his cobalt gaze glossing over. Jaw clenched, he sniffled, wagging his head slowly.

“Father and Mother, they didn’t give me a choice. From the moment I learned to walk, I had to fight if I wanted to survive. I don’t want to force you to fight. We’re in this mess with our family together, but I wanted to give you a choice. I wish…” His breath hitched.

“I wish you didn’t have to be a Zoldyck,” he concluded, tears streaming down his cheeks.

At this point, Alluka was crying too, her own eyes drowning in tears. “B-but,” she blubbered, “if I wasn’t a Zoldyck, you wouldn’t be my Big Brother.”

Killua pulled her into a hug and they sobbed quietly in each other’s arms. Silent tears fell from Gon’s eyes as he watched the siblings. No matter who Gon was to Killua, he would never be a Zoldyck, and with the horrors they had to endure as children of their family, he was elated that Killua could be honest, and that they had each other, even if Gon lacked friends back home…

“Please, just wait until you’re 17, and then decide whatever you want to do,” Gon heard Killua’s muffled voice in her shoulder. “Until then, please let me protect you.”

“Mm-hmmph,” she agreed.

The man on the ground groaned and Gon delivered a kick to his ribs. They made it back to the hotel without consequence, Killua and Alluka’s arms linked during their walk. Among Killua’s praises for his sisters’ bravery, Alluka shared that she remembered Gon’s advice while they were apprehended: calm breath means a calm body. The mention filled Gon with pride.

They watched a little television in their hotel room before getting ready for bed, and while Alluka and Killua were fast asleep together, Gon went to the window. He opened it and sat with the crisp late summer air, the thoughts he had been trying to avoid for days, finally sinking their sharp claws into his mind.

He would spend the next year living vicariously through his friends as they traveled, explored and furthered the name of the Hunter Association. He would be at his desk, studying things that did not interest him, and despite how hard he tried, not getting any better at it. He did not resent the Island or Aunt Mito, only himself. Behind him, Killua slumbered silently, and it took all of Gon’s discipline to not wake him up and beg him to join them until he agreed. He would only be an added burden to their already precarious existence, running from some of the deadliest trackers known to anyone.

But maybe, in two years, when Alluka was 17, her hold on Killua would loosen, which lined up perfectly with Gon finishing school. As long as his hope persisted, so would he, to support Leorio and Kurapika’s achievements, to watch Alluka grow and learn, and to finally break free from the mistakes of his past and roam the world alongside Killua. He would find his strength, train to defeat even the greatest danger, to protect his friends on their paths, wherever they might end up. Any free time he had back at the island, he would test and push himself to the brink, all in preparation to use Nen again. Against all odds, Gon would see the sunrise tomorrow again, and keep running towards the horizon of possibilities.

And in the morning, watching Gon’s train pull into the station, he was convinced of the impossible, as Killua’s body slammed into him, pulling Gon into an embrace.

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