Mothmans Lawyer

Only use tumblr to read about Cryptids and vent about shit my family can’t see

[mothmanslawyer]

I feel like people tell you to cut out toxic friends and relationships but then they don’t really tell you the second half of that interaction. I’m thriving, stable, and happier than ever but sometimes at two am I wonder where they are and think about going back. And honestly this isn’t some inspiring post either like bitch I miss my ex best friends and it really sucks right now at fricking midnight to have to deal with not being friends anymore and losing the good parts of that relationship. Like that shit hurts. Fuck.

[viralfrog]

[homofied]

What’s this from? “Stretching for Bottoms”?

[nocturan]

[liberal-memes]

[the-bright-path-deactivated2021]

is is this supposed to sound *bad*?

[the-bright-path-deactivated2021]

It was hard to read in the screenshot so I found it and blew it up:

[irresponsible-black-unicorn-dea]

“MFing Pirate Yo”

[odysseyeight]

My Gender Is:

✖ Male

✖ Female

✔Completely Fuckin Feral

[aesthetic-ravenclaw]

oddly specific aesthetic playlists

for when you’re overcome with the spirit of a 19th century lesbian watching a girl take off her petticoat for the first time

girls with dark hair and even darker eyes, empty marbled halls echoing with memories of centuries past, ancient leather bound books written in dead languages, thick sweaters to overcome the persistent chill that unfailingly seeps through the stone walls

you’ve been wandering around the old woods behind your house for a few hours now and you’re not sure if you’ve stumbled into a fey realm or not, but either way you’re like 90% sure you saw a dryad

for when you’re really feeling that morally grey witch vibe. just make sure to wait at least 10 minutes and cool down before hexing/cursing anyone

a nostalgic set of songs from my 2000s french childhood

time to long for the touch of another human!! let’s get emo (mostly mitski and also very gay)

[penstab]

i have a horrible misogynist rooster who only likes blonde hens so i always have to make sure i have 2-3 yellow hens around so he doesn't run anyone ragged. i didn't know this was a problem someone could have but i've had macklemore for eight slutty, slutty years and he's been overly obsessed with the blondness level of his lady friends for the entire time with no sign of slowing down so, like. props to him for sticking to his guns.

SIR, PLEASE,

[penstab]

YOU CANT JUST CASUALLY LEAVE THIS IN THE REPLIES AS IF THIS ISNT A CRUCIAL ELEMENT OF THIS HARROWING STORY

SIR!!!!!!

[marauders4evr]

I’m...I’m sorry, I just this minute realized that there are people out there who have no idea that Heinz Doofenshmirtz is the best fictional father out there. You guys don’t mind if I bombard your entire dashboard with proof right? Excellent.

BONUS: Doofenshmirtz around children he literally just met who wrecked his ‘inator’.

Literally I could go on and on with examples but my computer’s starting to crash from the amount of images.

The point is that Heinz Doofenshmirtz is the greatest fictional father out there and anyone who says otherwise was hit by a Lie-inator.

[pnfoutofcontext]

Doofenshmirtz: (doing a karate yell and wearing rubber gloves on his arms and head) Vanessa: Dad, why are you wearing that? Aren’t you immune? Doofenshmirtz: Well, everyone else was dressing up.

[ozcarma]

[mischief-and-misanthropy]

Livin’ the dream, that one.

[forestlune-deactivated20200417]

from now on your tumblr nickname is whatever you get from this sexual identity generator  ☆

[cure4psycho]

No offense these are the funniest fucking tags

[mothmanslawyer]

Hi my name is Awkward Detective....

[thekanechronicles]

No marriage required.

[splitseconddecision]

the entire time i spent watching this movie i was just waiting for charlotte to turn into a traitorous bitch, because that is what the media has told me for my entire life that her character archetype is supposed to do

kudos to disney for proving me wrong

[do-asdreamersdo-deactivated2015]

Let me tell you how great Lottie is. 1. She has EVERYTHING. This girl can literally have anything she wants and instead of hanging out with girls of her social class she’s friends with a poor girl. 2. Not only is she below her social class but she is African American which back in the twenties was COMPLETELY frowned upon. Lottie is risking social status to be friends with Tia. 3. When Tia and Naveen end up together in the end, Lottie doesn’t throw a fit or act upset, she is genuinely happy that Tiana has found true love even though that’s all Lottie has ever wanted her whole life. Something that her daddy can’t buy for her. 4. She’s true to herself and doesn’t let others judge her just because of how much money she has and she has a wonderful friend like Tiana that loves her for that. Lottie is wonderful and is highly underrated.

[rainbowloliofjustice]

If Tiana had let her, Charlotte would have bought the restaurant for Tiana and stocked it with the most expensive everything and had a grand ball for the opening. 

[takashi0]

#Charlotte was a ride or die chick to the end#like she’s the defination of sugar and sweetness as a person#like Tiana could ask her for anything and Charlotte would do it no questions or conditions required

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

Remember that scene when Charlotte was hanging out with the prince until she came across Tiana who had fallen into her beignet table and gotten desserts all over her dress after being rejected by the racist assholes who denied her restaurant, and Charlotte immediately dropped everything to get Tiana cleaned up and gave her one of her own dresses. The entire night she’d been going nuts because all she wanted was to be with the prince but her friend was in trouble so she put that shit on hold no questions asked. Charlotte was a real one.

[keithislactoseintolerant-deacti]

[memestar420-deactivated20200529]

They make honey, so they already beat us at cooking. What’s nex—

Are you kidding me??

[soft-sapphic-love]

here’s to the girls who are angry, who love women proudly and fiercely and shout about it. here’s to the bi girls with fighting words on their lips and axes for breaking down barriers clenched in their hands. here’s to the pan girls who kiss their girlfriends freely and passionately in front of a crowd and cry out, “die mad about it.” here’s to the lesbian girls who came into this world kicking and screaming and will leave it the same way. here’s to the trans girls who have fought for their livelihoods and their rights to be themselves and love other women for decades. here’s to all the girls who are furious and abrasive and done with your shit. i stand by all of you.

[thesevenumbrellas]

In every scooby doo remake they get Fred’s personality all wrong, okay!? He is not the cocky and fearless leader. He lost his brain cells years ago! He’s a himbo to the core! He asks what color pink panther is. He wears a jeans vest (jest?) under his sweater. His bright idea is to split up and look for clues. Not once has that worked and yet he still wants to do it every single fucking time. Please respect the himbo.

[hadesfirst]

Can somebody put in the scene from the 2002 movie where Scooby is disguised as a grandmother and Fred goes “who’s the ugly chick”

[schizopyke]

[mothmanslawyer]

YES YES YES

[mothmanslawyer]

Hear me out: Alligator with Great Dane legs

[whitepeopletwitter]