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[mothmantheoneandonly]

My dad once told my mom he missed her like a stormtrooper to which I responded with, all the time not matter the distance?

[mothmantheoneandonly]

What if Washington was actually assembling a cabinet. Jefferson: It says the president's assembling a cabinet...odd, but whatever makes him happy. Oh! And that I am to be the secretary of state! Great!

Washington: *Happily builds cabinet. Martha: *Worried.

[mothmantheoneandonly]

I like the way grass screaming smells :)

[mothmantheoneandonly]

Life is a highway and I am but a squirrel trying to cross the road

[mothmantheoneandonly]

So if Germany used to be Germania, and Italy used to be Italia, and Britain used to be Britannia, why isn't Britain called Britany?

[mothmantheoneandonly]

If Jesus were an animal, which would he be? A moose. Because he's the moos-iah.

[mothmantheoneandonly]

Dad: If you make another bad bone pun, I'm exiling you to North Korea. Me:...someone isn't finding my puns very humer-ous

[mothmantheoneandonly]

So whats yalls traumatizing story that you got told at public school? Mines that one were a kid eats a watermelon seed and turns into a watermelon, I'm always cautious of watermelon seeds now. My sisters is that one where a girl doesn't eat lima beans and turns into a house. She's eaten lima beans ever since.