(541): His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it’s because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
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@mountaingutta
(541): His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it’s because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
they're exactly where they want to be
List of rules that every member of Team Prime must follow regardless of whether you are at the base or outside it.
1. Jack and Arcee are forbidden to sell Arcee as an ordinary motorcycle. We know that she gave consent to this and always runs away from buyers. This is fraud for heaven’s sake.
2. It is forbidden to shove Raphael into the microwave.
2.1. It does not matter that he suggested it and gave full consent.
This is prohibited.
3. "Lmao" is not an appropriate answer to the question "How serious is your injury?"
4. Whoever told Optimus about Wikipedia, you’d better confess yourself.
4.1. I don’t care that this isn’t a rule. Just confess.
5. Snakes are forbidden at the base.
5.1. Cats too.
5.2. Goats too (Where did you get a goat?!)
6. Any living creature that falls under the classification “animals” is forbidden at the base.
7. Miko and Wheeljack are not animals. If they are wandering near the base, let them inside.
8. It is forbidden to shove Jack into the refrigerator.
8.1. See point 2.1.
9. Miko is forbidden to approach any household appliances without the supervision of a responsible person.
10. Wheeljack, Arcee and Smokescreen are not “responsible persons.”
11. Ratchet is always right.
11.1. Unless it concerns his physical and/or mental health.
12. If you suspect that Ratchet is under the influence of substances, on the verge of losing consciousness, or in poor physical and/or mental condition, inform Optimus and leave the base.
13. Do not use “Ave, Satan!” when meeting Megatron.
14. It is forbidden to teach Optimus slang.
15. Optimus is forbidden to use slang.
16. Stop playing accompanying music during battles. It does not create a “cool effect” but reveals your location to the enemy.
17. Do not mention ninjas around Ratchet
18. Hanging children from rafters is not an appropriate “disciplinary measure.”
18.1. Especially since Miko liked it. 18.2. The argument “My creators did this to me” does not work.
Refer this issue to Optimus.
19. It is forbidden to use Optimus as a place to sleep.
19.1. Even if he agrees.
20. Monopoly is forbidden.
20.1. UNO too.
20.2. 20 Questions are also forbidden.
20.3. Truth or Dare is strictly forbidden. (NONE OF YOU HAVE ANY INSTINCT FOR SELF-PRESERVATION!)
21. Game nights are forbidden.
22. Any references to pop culture, movies, TV series, etc. are forbidden.
23. Horoscopes are forbidden.
24. Jack and Arcee are not allowed to visit the circus.
25. Rafael may use the computer only under the supervision of responsible persons.
25.1. See rule 10.
25.2. In this case, Ratchet is also not considered a “responsible person.”
26. Smokescreen is not an appropriate source of knowledge about Cybertron. He lies half the time.
27. It is forbidden to call Ultra Magnus “Mr. Krabs.”
27.1. also forbidden to call him the Grinch. 28. Bulkhead is not under any curses. So stop convincing him of that. He is simply clumsy.
29. Crucifixion does not work on Decepticons.
29.1. The Star of David either.
29.2. Decepticons are not demons in the human sense, so stop throwing religious symbols at them.
30. It is forbidden to call Ratchet a nurse.
31. Senpai is not an appropriate form of address.
32 Swearing is forbidden.
32.1. Swearing in foreign languages is also forbidden. Optimus will understand anyway.
A. This list is not exhaustive and will be supplemented or changed depending on the situation.
B. Only Optimus and Ratchet have the right to change or supplement the list.
b.a. Ultra Magnus has lost this right
C. Only Optimus may change or supplement this list.
c.a. Except in cases concerning his well-being, then Ratchet has this right.
Headcanons Part 5 ***
In the galaxy, there is not a single Cybertronian who hasn’t been offended by Starscream in some way. The offense ranges from “he said that the new part makes me look fat” to “he heated a mug of energon on a fire that burned down my home and family.”
In TFO the S-trio are officially married. Megatron questions the sanity of Shockwave and Soundwave. To his question of why they chose Starscream, he receives the laconic reply: “at the time it seemed logical.”
Sometimes Miko listens to classical music (in rock arrangements) to better focus on one question at a time. Except for Mozart. She hates him on a personal level.
In his free time, Bulkhead studies Earth’s architecture. When Miko found out about this, she insisted that he study Japanese architecture. It went so far that she swallowed her pride and asked her biological parents to send her some academic works related to the subject.
Ratchet is afraid of slugs, worms, and jellyfish
In TFO Orion Pax secretly taught other miners to read and write
Starscream is Karen.
At the Autobots’ base there’s a jar where coins are tossed in whenever someone swears. Usually it’s Fowler who fills it up. At the end of the week, the kids take those coins and buy ice cream.
Optimus makes the kids write essays on the topic “why I shouldn’t have done/said that” after every problem they get into or create. Bumblebee, Arcee, and Bulkhead also write these essays. Smokescreen too. Once, even Wheeljack was forced to write an essay.
One time Jack brought a snake to the base and named it Starscream.
Ultra Magnus secretly loves bagpipe music.
Ratchet hates horror movies because: “I studied human biology and that’s impossible…”
Miko loves to tell others the strangest Japanese myths
Raf convinced a group of conspiracy theorists on the internet that Cthulhu is real.
Once every two months the team arranges a date for Optimus and Ratchet. Each time it’s in a different remote location.
Ratchet’s diploma ceremony
Does anyone remember that AU about the video camera? Actually, I’m not even sure it can be called an AU. Anyway. But here’s another addition.
The first thing we see in the frame is someone’s servo hanging from an unknown surface. Luckily, it’s attached to a bot. You can hear snoring, mechanical clinking, whistling, and sleepy mumbling.
The servo begins to move and disappears from the frame. You can hear commotion, muttering, indignant mumbling.
Silence.
A deafening shout: “We overslept” and the sounds of several bodies falling.
Nothing changes in the frame. The camera continues lying on the floor, but off-screen you can hear commotion: shouts, muttering, footsteps, laughter, objects falling, and doors slamming.
Finally, someone decided to pick up the poor video camera from the floor. In the frame appears Jazz’s smiling, though slightly battered face.
Literally battered – the look is as if he had been hit in the face several times so that the metal plates bent inward.
Despite his appearance, Jazz rather cheerfully begins speaking into the lens, addressing the future poor souls who will one day be unlucky enough to find this thing. If it survives all the adventures its owners get into.
“Yesterday we celebrated today’s event,” Jazz begins far too cheerfully.
In the background you can see the commotion that was heard earlier. But not very clearly, because Jazz is holding the video camera too close to himself.
“And this really is a significant event. Our Ratchet is receiving his diploma today. I’m so proud of him.” Jazz wipes away a nonexistent tear. “It seems like only yesterday he was nearly expelled for provocative behavior, insulting professors, blackmail, blowing up the laboratory, insulting professors…”
“STFU!”
A furious roar and stomping are heard from the side. The screen goes black.
When the camera is turned back on, Orion and Jazz are visible, both standing in front of a mirror and a sink, shoving each other.
The room resembles a bathroom. From outside, someone is kicking the door and angrily demanding it be opened because “they’re not the only ones here and others also need to tidy themselves up before going out.”
The camera turns to whoever is holding it. It’s some poor soul who simply says, “I don’t even know how I ended up here.”
In response, you hear, “Well, we couldn’t just leave you in the bar, so we brought you with us,” and “Sorry for leaving you to sleep in the bathroom. Our couch burned down.”
The sound of a door slamming into the wall. The recording cuts off.
Next shot.
A view of the ship’s cabin. Judging by the shaking, sharp turns, the vessel flipping upside down, the extremely blurred scenery in the windows, and the rather blue faces of some passengers, some lunatic has been put at the helm.
“Since we were running late,” now the narrator’s voice is female, the ship is turned vertically to squeeze between two buildings, and you can hear screams, “we put Orion at the helm.”
Another sharp flip and the camera slips from the narrator’s hands. The next few minutes are just abrupt spins, somersaults, and passengers’ legs. Everything goes black again.
Next shot.
Once more, only legs are visible. Judging by the image and the frequent “excuse me…” “let me through…” “sorry…” “don’t just stand there…” “why are they looking so judgmental?” “snobs,” the one holding the video camera is making their way through the crowd.
After a few minutes, the camera is lifted.
A vast, luxurious hall, crowded with bots. Almost all of them are quite similar to each other in frame types, colors, and the not-so-kind looks they occasionally cast toward the video camera. More precisely, toward the group to which the device belongs.
The shot shifts to the closer surroundings. Ariel, Ironhide, and Prowl are visible. All three are staring straight ahead. The image transitions to the stage with a podium, where about two dozen young bots and a few older ones are already standing.
From the side, you can hear another bot approaching the group. The camera moves to the newcomer.
It’s Orion. He smiles nervously. “I haven’t been scolded like that in a long time,” he says, then turns back to the stage.
Silence.
“How long is this going to last?”
“Shh!”
“No, but seriously?!”
“Well… first the dean will speak, then the rector, then the professors, the ceremonial part, a brief history of the faculty and the medical profession…”
The camera is turned off.
Next shot.
“Finally!”
Young Ratchet walks to the center of the stage toward the old bot holding the diploma. Everything is calm, a squeak is heard from the side. The camera shifts briefly. Orion, smiling happily, nervously hops and quietly claps his hands.
The image shifts back to Ratchet. At last, he is handed the diploma. The old bot says a few banalities. Ratchet takes the diploma, shakes the old bot’s hand, and begins to step away.
Applause, whistles, and “Well done, Ratchet!” can be heard.
The camera spins again to show the hall. The nearest bots, standing in groups, look at them as if they were beggars asking for alms.
“So then,” Jazz’s voice says, “Ratchet got his diploma?”
“Yes,” Orion says, very excited.
“Actually,” Prowl’s monotone voice adds, “he’s been a certified specialist for 20 cycles already. This ceremony is unnecessary, an overly expensive and pompous show, whose main purpose is to flatter the egos of professors, guardians, and mentors of the newly minted med-bots.”
Indignant sighs are heard.
“So then,” Jazz concludes far too cheerfully, “we no longer need to pretend to be polite to these elitist snobs?”
“We never needed to before,” Prowl replies.
Even more indignant sighs follow.
Shouts. The sound of a table being overturned. Swearing. The camera switches off again.
Next shot.
Sounds of a fight.
Next shot.
Police siren.
Next shot.
Some bar. A wrecked bar. Music can be heard.
Tied-up cops hang from the ceiling.
Orion and Ratchet are dancing on a table, Prowl sits at the bar counter, and Jazz plays the role of bartender while simultaneously flirting with him.
A bunch of bots are scattered around the hall, dancing, laughing, drinking.
The image shifts, now showing the one holding the video camera. It’s Ariel.
“Everything went better than we expected,” she begins, smiling rather slyly. “Those idiots can only shout. Although, we did get billed for damage to university property.”
Accidental creation of a cult of personality around Orion Pax among the Decepticons
After the fateful meeting with the senate
Megatron: today we have gathered here to honor the memory of our dear friend, a good bot, a respected and irreplaceable member of our movement, without whose efforts our cause could not have achieved such a significant rise…
Soundwave, extending a handkerchief:
The attendees solemnly listen to the speech, some truly weeping.
Megatron: …Orion Pax, he was taken from us in a difficult time, but his loss must also give us strength for further struggle and serve as an example…
Ratchet, tied to a chair: STOP SAYING THAT ORION IS DEAD!
Megatron: unfortunately, Ratchet has always struggled with losses. And the loss of Orion, considering their relationship, is a heavy blow.
Everyone: nods sympathetically.
Soundwave: plays the funeral march
***
Alright, but seriously (actually not), we cannot claim that Megatron organized Orion Pax’s funeral after the meeting with the senate, but we also cannot claim that he wouldn’t have done so.
He could have done it as an act of petty revenge and a demonstrative gesture as if, after what happened, Orion Pax was dead to the Decepticon movement. Or perhaps by then he was already mad enough to convince himself that the bot he once knew as Orion Pax was gone forever.
When he returns to his followers, after numerous questions about the situation in general and about Orion Pax (or rather his absence), Megatron answers briefly: “Orion is no longer with us.”
The proto-Decepticons interpret this in their own way. Pax was known as a co-founder of the revolutionary movement and an equal to Megatron, devoted to their ideals and ideas to the death, a bot who put in great effort and did so much for their current position. And precisely because of this, they conclude that Orion is dead. They simply cannot interpret Megatron’s words any other way.
The version of his death keeps accumulating more and more details. And since Megatron was unavailable for some time, everyone assumed he needed a little while to mourn his loyal friend and companion in solitude, as they had absolutely no details.
Therefore, imagination, speculation, and rumors came into play, spreading with the speed of a forest fire and the force of a tsunami, and in the process becoming laden with ever more terrible details.
When Megatron stopped sulking (for that is exactly what he was doing), the situation had already spiraled far out of control. In fact, until one of his aides approached him with the question of what color decorations should be used for the memorial ceremony, he had no idea what had transpired during his brief absence.
Summoning his loyal Soundwave, who at that moment was busy organizing the aforementioned memorial ceremony (which was not very difficult, since Orion Pax had once prepared the entire plan for his own funeral and everything related to it, writing down every detail in case of his death), he demanded answers.
Soundwave delivered a brief report, shared some rumors, and gave an update on the progress of the memorial preparations, leaving Megatron stunned and speechless in shock, alone.
After some thought, Megatron convinced himself that - yes Orion Pax was dead, and they should pay proper tribute to their comrade. Fortunately, everything was already almost prepared; only the farewell speech remained to be written.
The ceremony was beautiful, yet quiet and modest. “This is exactly the kind Orion would have liked,” mourners whispered during and after. Speeches were given, farewells made, and memories of all the good were shared. Of course, some noted that a separate tragedy was the fact that from poor Orion not even a body remained, and they had to lower an empty coffin.
After that, mentioning Orion Pax in Megatron’s presence became almost taboo. Everyone believed that he had never recovered from the loss of his friend, so they did not want to rub salt into the wound any further.
The first, ideological, Decepticons sometimes casually mentioned Orion Pax as an example of a true Decepticon and a figure who played a major role in founding their movement. When newcomers asked what had happened to him, everyone solemnly replied, “the senate contributed to his elimination.”
The newcomers also interpreted this in their own way, so over time the figure of Orion Pax became surrounded by ever more details and mysteries, and during the war he turned into an almost mythical and ephemeral presence.
To many recruits, his figure was intriguing, but few dared to question the high command or other Decepticons who had personally known the deceased. Yet there were some bold ones who later carried the information out to the masses.
Starscream was most irritated by this semi-mythical Orion Pax. He had joined the Decepticons only after the serious conflicts had already begun and Orion Pax had disappeared. And of course, Starscream being Starscream, he had grand plans and ambitions.
He would never have imagined that in competing for the position of Megatron’s right hand, he would have to contend with a phantom. At that time, the entire old guard of the Decepticons stood beside Megatron, and it was no secret to anyone that Starscream coveted the post of Second-in-Command.
So at the beginning of his career, poor (not really) Screamer had to constantly face comparisons (never in his favor) with a half-forgotten corpse. This enraged him greatly. It became personal. On his list of plans, a new item appeared: to destroy the cult of personality surrounding Orion Pax, to erase any memory of this dead parasite whose lingering presence prevented him from calmly seizing power.
But he wasn’t very successful at it. It seemed to him that even Megatron, under whom mentioning Pax was forbidden under pain of death, looked at him and thought, “Pax would have been better.” This drove him insane.
So one can understand his outrage, fury, distrust, and absolute loss of faith in any common sense of the then high command in general, and Megatron and Soundwave in particular, when he encountered Optimus “damned” Prime aboard the Nemesis, who introduced himself with the very name that was the curse of Starscream’s entire existence: Orion Pax.
TFA Optimus: 🫶
TFA Megatron: I’d like to clarify
TFA Optimus: ?
TFA Megatron: is that a heart or your hands on my neck because I’ve angered you again?
Miko: I don’t like visiting doctors. Every visit goes about like this:
Ratchet: remember everything you love
Miko: 🙂
Ratchet: you can’t have that
Miko: 🙁
Without context
Blackarachnia: if you had spent half your life in one room with Sentinel, and the other half sharing a military cruiser with Starscream, you definitely wouldn’t be surprised.
***
TFA Ratchet: you know, humans had this custom: before having sparklings, they would first get pets
TFA Megatron: thinks
***
Why Wheeljack mustn’t drink (Earth Spark)
Elite, pulling out a decree signed by Prime that holds the highest authority among Cybertronians: here it’s all written
Megatron, pulling out a decree with more of his titles than actual text: here too "If anyone gives this lunatic alcohol or drugs, they’ll become his test subject"
***
Cybertronian morgue long before the war
Orion, once again returning from the dead as if he had just slept and woken up
Ratchet, a young student intern who was merely copying reports: screams
Orion: newbie?
***
Megatron (drunk): and how many times have you been widowed?
Optimus and Elita (drunk), throw their glasses at him
Megatron: passes out
Elita, angrily: six
Optimus, solemnly: four and a half
Some poor soul: what does half mean?
Optimus: what do you know about reincarnations?
***
TFP Megatron: does anyone know anything about exorcism?
***
Orion: “calmly doing his work”
Communicator: “starts ringing, caller unknown”
Orion: “tries to ignore”
Communicator: “keeps ringing”
Orion_I don’t pick up calls, only text messages_Pax: nervous
Orion: “finally picks up”
Orion (feigning cheerful voice): Funeral Services Bureau Requiem, how may I help you?
Unknown caller: …
Unknown caller: seems we dialed the wrong number
Unknown caller: hangs up
Orion: ?! calls back
Unknown: hello?
Orion (feigning cheerful voice): This is the Funeral Services Bureau, you just called us, may I recommend something? Perhaps you’d like to learn about our products? with manic notes We have a wide selection of coffins!
Unknown: no, thank you, we dialed wrong! Goodbye!
Orion: calls again, because he hasn’t finished yet
Is that my gift?🤭🤭🎄🎁
It takes a lot of time, but Wheeljack is indeed building armor for Miko. From here, quoting Ratchet’s immortal words, everything went to the Pits.
Miko gladly leaves Earth and sets off for Cybertron (At first only Jackie knows about it). For the others, it turned out to be a big surprise. Although Bulkhead was very happy.
The trio of Wreckers was already living together at that time. No, they weren’t a couple, it was simply more convenient, and habits from the war aren’t so easy to get rid of. Moreover, it’s a useful habit.
Miko gets down to business. That is, she tries to do something good, but most of the time it ends in disaster.
Their dwelling is very modest. Although this is nothing surprising given the situation on Cybertron, they do everything possible to arrange their home and make it more “homely.” At least Bulkhead tries to do so. He constantly brings little trinkets, handmade furniture, or even sprouts of techno-plants. Mostly he brings these for Miko, since he knows she will find them interesting.
Wheeljack and Magnus don’t quite understand his need to “domesticate” their living space, but they never object. Especially since he never says anything about Magnus’s arsenal or the fact that Wheeljack, without asking, claimed the basement as his laboratory.
Many Cybertronians are gradually returning to Cybertron, and Miko meets some “peers” and surviving Wreckers. It turns out that she does indeed miss Jack and Raf, as well as certain people and Earth in general.
Bulkhead and Ultra Magnus are quite busy most of the time. Sometimes Miko goes to the construction site with Bulk, but after some “minor” accidents, she is not very welcome there.
Ultra Magnus took her to meetings of the “new government,” but she found them uninteresting. Moreover, in most cases Magnus demanded that she listen and learn. What she could possibly learn from a bunch of noisy bureaucrats she did not know. Therefore, most often she spent her time with Jackie.
Jackie never stays in one place, unlike Ultra Magnus and Bulkhead, and constantly drags Miko along with him both on the planet and beyond it.
At some point she actually prepares tempura from a Quintesson. Honestly, the Cybertronians decide that it’s a pretty good addition to their diet. For the first time in all her acquaintance with the Autobots, Miko feels a certain thrill watching them dismantle the captured Quintessons and the ingredients.
Miko tries to learn the Cybertronian language. It turns out there are quite a few of them, although most Autobots speak the modern form of Iaconian.
To her great surprise, the biggest helper in this matter is Ratchet. He gives her manuals for learning the language, quite accessible and informative. It turns out that before the war Orion Pax was also engaged in educational issues for the lower castes, and this is one of his works. Miko treats these manuals as her greatest treasure.
Of course, theory is good, but nothing can replace practice. Therefore, she now demands that her trio of guardians speak to her more often in their language. She rather quickly learned to understand and read basic phrases and even to write, but pronunciation is a big problem for her. The speech apparatus of a Cybertronian is very different from that of humans. So she is left to enjoy writing and her broken pronunciation of their names.
They travel. A lot. Miko tries to draw everything she sees. Bulkhead gave her a very cool, almost indestructible set of datapads and styluses. Оne sized for a Cybertronian and one for a human.
She draws plants, creatures, landscapes - everything that catches her eye. When NASA somehow finds out about this (Miko occasionally returns to Earth, mainly for Jack and Raf), they go crazy, but end up getting nothing.
The government can do nothing because one of her “guardians” is a member of the government of an entire planet. A rather important member of the government with heavy fists and a massive hammer.
When the situation on Cybertron stabilized, the Wreckers began traveling beyond the planet more and more often in search of something new. Bulkhead wanted to show Miko the universe.
In his opinion, Miko has too large a spark and an even greater sense of curiosity to fit even inside an Apex Armor, let alone her human body. He wants her to see as much as possible in the short time they have.
During their travels, Miko realizes that the war was far more serious than she had imagined. On some planets, Cybertronians are not welcome at all. It doesn’t matter whether they are Autobots or Decepticons. They never stay long on such worlds. No one says anything.
Sometimes it escalates into full-fledged fights with the locals, sometimes they get caught up in big trouble, and sometimes they create the problems themselves.
Strangely enough, it is Bulkhead who behaves like a mother hen, constantly scolding them for all the trouble. Until then, Miko had never noticed just how much of a mad bot Ultra Magnus really was. She is impressed by his ability to disguise it as common sense.
Although she could do without their rather tactile attempts to calm Bulkhead, sometimes it is even sweet to watch Magnus take Bulk’s servo in his massive one and gently explain to him that blowing up the fuel tower was a perfectly reasonable and tactically calculated step to resolve the current situation, and that Bulk shouldn’t worry so much.
On other planets the Autobots are welcomed, though people still treat them with a certain caution. On each of these worlds, at least once, Optimus Prime is mentioned with a kind word. It is pleasant for all of them to hear.
With each journey they fly farther and farther away from Cybertron.
One day Miko ends up on a planet inhabited by an organic race who perceive her as a “Deity from the stars.” By the time the trio of Wreckers finally find her, a cult has already formed around her.
Miko really likes this planet. Especially since the atmosphere is similar to Earth’s, she can wander here without armor. She adores that armor, thanks to it she has the chance to do what no other human (except Jack and Raf) could ever dream of. But sometimes she wants to touch things with her own hands. To feel the texture on her skin, to know whether something is cold or hot. To sense the breeze on her face or the warm rays of yet another star on her skin. And honestly, she misses the time when her surroundings were her own size. She never thought she would miss something like that.
Miko likes this planet. She wants to stay here a little longer. And longer, and longer. It seems she has found the perfect world for herself.
She stays and begins fanatically studying everything about this planet, every corner, every plant, every stone. In the end she has several very massive works to her name. Optimus would be proud of her.
The Wreckers understand that she has grown up, but they still try to remain an active part of her life. They constantly fly to her, taking her back to Cybertron or off on yet another journey.
On one of these trips Wheeljack tells her that she is going to become an older sister.
She isn’t sure how to feel about it. In truth, she knows, but she is ashamed to admit even to herself that she is not happy.
The fear of being abandoned returned once again. It was so irrational and stupid, but the first thought that came to her mind and would not leave was that they no longer needed her. She was no longer needed by Bulkhead, now he would have little Cybertronian children, real Cybertronians, not some small annoying organic.
So instead of waiting for the moment when they would abandon her, she takes the first step and distances herself from them. It was a bad idea, the result of which was Bulkhead ending up in the hospital.
In the end everything works out, but now Bulkhead doesn’t let Miko out of his sight at all and in almost every conversation tells her that they love her just as much.
When she first holds her sibling in her arms (she is in the Apex Armor), she is happy. Incredibly happy. At that moment it seems to her that she is holding the most precious treasure in the world.
It turns out that Cybertronian children grow very slowly. Miko is already an adult woman, while her younger sibling has not even learned to walk properly yet. In fact, this is not bad. Children of any kind are very cute, and her younger one is the sweetest being in their galaxy. She still plays with them, helps take care of them when all three parents are too busy.
On “her planet” the seasons do not change the way they do on Earth, but from Jack and Raf she knows that a decade or so has passed.
She continues her research, travels across “her planet,” and finds companions who become a permanent part of her life - to Magnus’s great displeasure and Wheeljack’s amusement.
Time passes, and she misses the first steps of her younger sibling. At that moment she was exploring a dormant volcano which, according to the local inhabitants, erupts with violet lava. A rather familiar shade. She decided it was better to check it out.
When her first gray hairs appear, she decides it is time to create a permanent home for herself. Her younger sibling’s first word is “Frag.” To her great surprise, this turns out to be Magnus’s fault. Wheeljack brings it up at every possible opportunity. Bulkhead looks as if he is questioning his life choices.
She builds a home in the settlement and stays there more and more often, dedicating her time to her notes and the systematization of everything she has gathered. She is not alone
The last time she visits Cybertron, Miko learns what name her parents have chosen for her younger sibling and she absolutely does not approve of their choice.
The Apex Armor remains on “her planet,” and around it new legends grow about a deity that descended from the stars and, when the time came, returned to them. The Wreckers don’t mind.
Over time her figure fades from the memory of her younger sibling, though they still feel that something is missing, something shifted in their life. Yet they are still too young to understand what it truly is.
Hysterical giggle
I realized something.
An old married couple of gay robots, who survived the war, are stuck on an organic planet together with their large family. The family constantly gets into trouble, and they have to pull them out of it. From time to time, the two of them also get into trouble and must rescue each other from it.
They have known each other for a long time. They share a rich history, their lives long ago and firmly intertwined into one strong thread that will hardly ever unravel.
They do not always agree, and their views and approaches to situations differ quite a bit, but they are still a good team, especially when some great trouble arises.
One of them is a socially awkward introvert who tries to act in the best interests of everyone (except himself). He doesn’t always succeed, and sometimes it seems he is ready to abandon the whole affair and wander off into the forests, but he still stays because he loves his family too much and finds it hard to hand over control to anyone else.
For the most part, he is gentle and tries to be kind even to his enemies. But he becomes a killing machine if he is deeply enraged. He cherishes his partner and listens to him: his doubts and thoughts but very often still does everything his own way.
The other one is hot-tempered and a bit aggressive, but still tries to care for the people close to him. He is more selfish and takes care of his self-sacrificing fool. Though sometimes he goes too far.
He often questions his partner’s decisions and actions, since he is “too peaceful.” But in the end, he still acknowledges his partner’s correctness and does everything possible to help and support him, to share his burdens and be his pillar.
Very often he experiences emotional constipation, which he masks with a façade of indifference, aggression, or grumpiness.
They are also doomed.
Question: whom was I just writing about
Answer:
plump juicy optiratch dump for those in my inbox
Hey just wondering, do you have an ao3 account? I really like your writing and I'd like to read more of it :3
Hi, thank you! Yes, I have AO3 account, though so far I’ve hardly published anything there
TFP Headcanons Part 4
Orion Pax didn’t like Prowl. Every time he saw him, he metaphorically tried to blow him up with his mind. Prowl had no idea why that weird archivist kept staring at him.
Soundwave loves knitting, but the only ones he knits for are Laserbeak, Megatro and Shockwave. Knock Out owns one of his pieces. A scarf Soundwave made for him after Breakdown’s death.
Knock Out and Breakdown stole equipment from a mobile movie theater and hosted movie nights on the Nemesis. Everyone’s favorite film (except Starscream’s) is Fast & Furious, the first one.
Ratchet is a terrible cook. As Megatron once commented with a pained grimace: “His soup still leaves holes in my fuel tank.”
Orion/Optimus lacks taste receptors, which makes him one of the few who can eat Ratchet’s cooking.
Every Cybertronian has committed cannibalism at least once in their life.
During the war, it was common practice among soldiers to drink energon from their comrades, with permission, of course.
Soundwave feels physical pain in the places where his other minicons used to attach.
Bumblebee can see ghosts. Optimus can see ghosts. Everyone else gets scared out of their minds every time those two stare into the void.
When Orion got too excited or overloaded with energy during a conversation, he’d switch to сhirolinguistics.
Jazz’s optics were severely damaged during the war (torture?). His visor is essentially a replacement, but even it doesn’t fully function as proper optics, so he learned to navigate using his EM
On Cybertron, Autobots loved placing bets for any reason. One of the biggest was about when exactly Bumblebee would say his first word, and what that word would be
I’ve only read excerpts from the Covenant, but here’s what I’ve gathered. TFP Optimus has a strange family. There’s his father, essentially God, who created him last, and only because he looked at his first twelve children and realized they’d kill each other before Unicron (an uncle?) could do it. So he created Optimus to somehow calm down his older brothers and sisters.
And apparently he’s the favorite child, because Primus literally called him “the first and the finest,” like “here’s my best baby boy.” But he’s also terrible at parenting. The dude just transformed into a giant metal sphere and left the kids to deal with their uncle, cosmic Satan, who commands the dead?
Also, Optimus’s siblings are basically a flaming dumpster. One of them is essentially Loki but not Marvel Loki – the Norse mythology one. And his brother is in love with their sister, then kills her and a few other brothers (?) and goes into exile.
And another brother creates strange cosmic beings who later want to turn the Cybertronians into their slaves (though that’s not confirmed, but these things call themselves the Quintessons. Quintus, care to explain anything?)
And after that, only Alpha Trion remains, building a library and hiding in it for ages. Then Optimus is reborn somewhere in the wastelands, without his memories and now his older brother is his dad.