it’s that time of year again -- i actually missed a year this time, and it’s also a few days late. but the thoughts are all there and i was a busy girl when this post would have been more appropriate and that’s just how it be sometimes.
i skipped my 2017 end-of-year post because i honestly forgot it was even a thing that i did. i’ve been spending a lot of time on introspection and personal development (surprise surprise) so i wanted to make another post for this year. and what a year it’s been yall....
-started off the year on shrooms with my favorite person in the world, and our souls connected
-got tattooed by one of my favorite artists and also covered up some old mistakes
-shaved my head and realized what it felt like to release myself from my obligation to my hair
-traveled to denver to celebrate 4/20 and see nature, also with my FPW
-invested in my love for outdoors, experienced nature with FPW
-pilgrimage journey to the desert where i first heard the world be quiet
-bonded with friends over music festivals and camping adventures
-moved on to new dwellings and cultivated a space that reflects who i truly am
-experienced performances from musicians that changed my life
-lost so deeply and suddenly that i’m still trying to remember who i am
-survived. i just really fucking survived.
this has without a doubt been the hardest year of my life. i think this next year will be hard too and that’s okay. the fact that i’ve survived all of this and i still have the ability to love and self-reflect and find joy almost every single day is something i am endlessly grateful for. life is still a sweet fruit and i intend to savor it for as long as i can, appreciating what i have for every moment that i have it.
you really can lose anything at any second and it’s almost completely out of your control. i can’t change the future but i can enjoy the present and that’s the power of my human nature. i want to continue to invest in the present -- what brings me joy today? how can i fully participate in moments that bring me joy?
there is no such thing as happiness, only happy moments and happy experiences. rather than be fixated on whether or not i’m happy with my life as a whole, i need to spend more time seeing that joy in the present moment. i have all of these nice things, everything that i could ask for, but i rarely take the time to remind myself to appreciate it and feel joyful about it.
writing like this makes a huge difference and i can’t forget that
